I could have had carriage, but I had a man with carriage her.

That bar, that bar.

So many women that bar got big greens but an empty marriage.

So many women got big greens but empty marriages.

That man is a man of valor, and you must honor the mighty man of valor that you've been blessed with, and many of us are missing it without preferences.

God, let us find our preferences.

To your will.

Let us find our preferences to your will.

And I say it for men as well.

We have to allow the Lord to align our lives with the will of the Lord, that he might be glorified.

I'm sick and tired.

Of us allowing the devil to run rapid in our marriages, in our household.

The Bible says one can chase away a thousand, but you can say ten thousand demons to flight.

That means that every married couple.

Has the power to chase off ten thousand deep.

So minute you say I do.

You have now not injured just into covenant, but you entered into divine power.

You entered into find authority.

You entered into.

Something that should make the gates of hell fearful of you.

Fearful of your marriage, fearful of your covenants.

I'm sick and tired of it, and I want the Kingdom of God to arise.

I want the Kingdom of God to arise.

In the name of Jesus, and I want men to take their rightful positions.

God, your favor has allowed the dear future Wife you podcast to be.

The first of his kind.

Oh my God.

The first to be booked by churches.

How y'all doing word at true Church?

The Bible says that God has nothing unt of concusion.

The first to be booked internationally.

Now, we try to please the world versus the word.

You said.

We try to please the world and not the word.

And the difference is just an L.

That's right, that's right, and you take an L when you try to come on, come on, come on.

That's it.

The first to be booked at a major award show.

I think so often when we hear that idea of love or someone says I love you, they say it in the word, but you can't see it anywhere in the deed.

You are using this podcast to heal countries.

Do I've a use my story to stare other young men away from the ruin and the pot that I took you.

Thank you for transforming my pain into a beautiful platform.

What's up for a city church?

Make some noise?

All in this place?

Listen wep to Dear Future Wifie podcast.

I'm your host, Lttaris are with Phil.

Listen, are you still shacking up with us?

If you're still shacking up with us, can we get a commitment?

Hit that subscription button and subscribe.

Make sure you turn on your notification bell so you'll be notified about upcoming episodes.

We are live in Columbia, South Carolina at Forlid City Church.

Listen.

We had a dynamic service, dynamic episode in the first service, and.

I expect nothing less.

And you said, do I get a little grace to go over the little thirty minute maybe like thirty five forty?

He said, take your time.

Don't tell a preacher to take this time.

Y'all be in here by the time y'all gotta go to work tomorrow morning.

So listen.

I love that you cultivated a ministry where y'all believe in transparency and authenticity.

And I can see that.

And I'll talk about some of the people that walked up to me in the lobby and the first service and some of the dynamic testimonies I've heard.

But first I want y'all to I'm want to tell y'all about my book that I wrote called Student of Love.

And God has blessed me to write this book through the stories of the people that's been on my podcast and the things I've gone through life.

How do you know that love isn't about finding the right person, It's about becoming the right person.

It's about becoming the right person.

So I want you to focus your eyes on the screen and watch their trailer.

I was married, cheated, flunked out of marriage.

These eyes have seen the pain of failure but also the possibility of redemption.

These gears have heard the lies you'll never change, but they've also caught the whisper of truth.

But Terris, you can learn love on the level.

You've never known.

This finger once carried a val I wasn't ready to honor.

Today is empty, but it's unashamed.

It's waiting on a covenant I'll protect with wisdom.

I'm no expert, I'm just a fellow student.

I've sat in Love's classroom, even spent time with detention.

But now I live with intention.

That's why I wrote Student of Love, because learning love never ends.

Sit next to me and cheat off of my paper.

Cheat, tony, God show you a better word.

Let's just cut to the chase.

Pre order this book and start the journey on becoming a true student of Love class.

It's now in session.

Yes, yes, listen man, I'm so honored that God has entrusted me to write this book.

As the Greens know, it's a great labor when you write a book.

Matter of fact, it's going to promote the book right here?

Are you praying for the wrong thing?

Hey?

Man, if y'all ain't got that.

Book, make sure y'all get that and this book right here remain in His Love A ninety day ninety Devotions.

Make sure y'all check that out by doctor Jackie Green.

Amen.

Amen, So listen.

I was blessed to have doctor Gary Chapman write the forward to this book.

How many y'all have heard of the Five Love Languages?

And so I prayed and I asked God.

I said, God, I really want this man to bless this book.

He sold twenty million copies of that book.

That book has been around for thirty years and it's become a part of culture.

And I said, God, if you are in this book, I want you to make it divinely orchestrated.

Where he writes the forward and God made that thing happen, and so to God be the glory.

That's what I'm saying.

Stretch your faith out there.

If what you're believing God for is only limited by your limitations, then it's not God.

It is not God.

Listen.

I want to go around and ask everybody to introduce yourself about ten fifteen seconds and give a brief intro.

Good morning, church.

My name is Jamari Thomas.

I'm a twenty two year old man of God and I'm a proud member of this amazing church called for It City.

Good morning.

My name is Ebony.

I am from Columbia, South Carolina.

I'm twenty nine years old.

I am a God fearing woman.

I am officially sold out to God and I serve here at Borid City on the creative team.

And this is my home.

She says, I'm officially sold out to God officially.

Hey guy, Hey guys, I'm Danny.

I'm thirty nine years old.

I'm here at FORDT City Church.

It's a place that saved my life, and I'm so blessed to say that I serve here and I just love you guys.

Good, good, good, Hey guys.

My name's jac and oh thank you okay, okay, thank you so much.

I appreciate that I am a part of the staff here at Fort Church.

Yes, I work as the production coordinator.

I'm twenty seven years old and I'm actually I'm from Indiana, but I moved to Columbia, South Carolina.

Good good, Welcome to the panamel.

What's up Ford City?

My name is Kendrick Clark.

I'm thirty six years old, and Ford City has been a big part of me and my wife's love story.

Good good part of that.

Hi everyone, my name is Jeannie Sha Clark.

I am a mother, Army veteran and a newlywed.

Sok, yes, she said, newly wed.

She can't wait to talk.

And these strangers right here, what are y'all names?

Hey, guys, I am Jackie and I have the beautiful privilege of copax stream this amazing local body of believers.

Can we give it up for my forward citizens?

I love y'all so much.

It's such a privilege to serve y'all.

Hey, y'all, I'm shy.

H my name is Travis.

My grandma called me crabb liss, crab list.

Sheh hang out no teeth I am.

She got she could put she put teeth in out, you get out?

How about that?

Okay?

But she she's fayful to God and to snuff.

And I've been married to my wife's she murder me.

I'm sorry fourteen years this year and so so delighted.

I have my brother here.

Man LATERI y'all, we got a legend with us today.

So let me ask you, PTS.

I want to feel like I'm a part of the ministry.

So, pt what made you feel like having this conversation with a dear future wifey podcast is important to have it for a city church.

You know.

I get picked on a lot by people starting in college about Green not just being my last name, but actually being a characteristic.

I'm like, they're like, man, you're so green, and whatever be saying is that.

I'm just I live in Narnia.

I live in Disney.

Like for me, everybody's nice and everybody they're like, no, people don't like you.

I'm like everyone loves me.

Look, I'm just like I don't know what a hater is.

Everyone loves me.

Everyone's nice.

And so I brought to really that optimism but also a level of I guess cluelessness into pastoring.

And it wasn't until I was a pastor that I found out that not all marriages are like mine.

God's been very faithful with my wife and I because we're literally.

Best friends and what you see is what you get.

We've never been tempted, uh with cheating or anything like that, and we actually just really get along.

Our arguments are extremely rare, maybe like once a year, you know, once a.

Year we'd be one on one, big one, but yeah, seriously, about once a year.

That's the only time we really kind of get into it and be like I don't like you today, and then and then I'll be like, I'm sorry, but no, we really get along.

And it was not until we.

Started password I was like, man, dang, like people are struggling, like marriages are struggling, and singers are struggling.

And for us, we want this church to be holistic, and like I said earlier, not just for us to come and have a good time, but for us to have principles and tools to walk this thing out and so for me, it was important to even diversify the voices that they're able to hear.

And man, you're just I mean you're you're well known in culture really for your brilliance, but you're also just your anointing the host these type of platforms and to invite us into a new knowledge and a new perspective about relationships.

And so for me, it was a no brainer.

Man.

When we got together, we were hanging out in Atlanta, and I was like, Bro, you gotta roll through.

And you're just like, all right, let's make it happen.

And you've been so gracious, even with your calendar to come and so man, we honored that and we're excited to have you here.

Fun y'all know he on he tripped.

This is Travis Green.

If he asked you to come mo his yard, I'm gonna come mo to yard.

So I'm telling you, I respect your ministry first of all, respect your heart.

You know.

I met him in.

Then the Delta Lounge, and we act like we knew each other.

We're like, I said, wow, am I acting like we know each other, like we've been friends for years.

And it's so cool because it's Kendrick Spears have you know felt like brother.

So thank you for all that you've been doing for the body of Christ.

Thank you so much, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Doctor Jackie.

Yes, sir, as you've been leading this tribe of women, you call them the citizens, and so.

These women, I know you heard a lot of stories about those that are in the Dayton streets, those that are struggling in their marriage.

What could you say to provide hope for.

Them, both groups, singles and marriage.

I think it's so important when you're thinking about anything at large, to go back into it and go back to originally intent.

It's so important to go back to the foundation of why marriage was constituted.

God says in Genesis that it was not good for man to be alone, so he brings about a suitable helper.

I think when you recognize that in marriage, when you understand the significance of a woman to a man, but also a man to a woman.

A man is a high priest of his home.

He's the head of his home, he is the lead his home.

But the woman is a suitable helper.

So she's not in marriage guessing if she's good for that man.

She's not being critiqued by that man because he celebrates her differences in the gifts that she brings that he.

Would not have favor without her.

When you understand the essence of what they bring in, I would call it of symbiotic nature.

They both serve each other.

They birth come alongside each other and serve it to ultimately.

To bring glory to God, not just to.

Be pleasurable to each other, although that's a part of it.

When you go back to original and ten, I think you serve better.

And so for me that's whole, because there are marriages right now that are not living like that.

It's not about how do I make myself second so that they can be they can feel first.

It's not about how I make sure that whether I'm eating or sleeping or breathing, that I'm bringing glory to God's name even through my marriage.

Because the marriage is not just for the two, but it's for the two to the world.

And so when you go.

Back to what God said in the beginning, I believe that you get back to the true purpose for why you came together.

I think as it retains to a single you have.

To first understand that even before you come together with a man or a woman, You've been given dominion, authority, and the ability to reign.

God said in the very beginning that.

We were supposed to be fruitful and to multiply and have dominion over all of the earth.

And so even in your singleness, have responsibility.

You have things that get done, things that have happened in your life, trauma's experiences that the Lord can work out as you take the time to understand that even in your singleness, you're valuable and if you called a singleness for a lifetime, that God is with you in that singleness, and so in that place of purpose, you're able to.

Live and fulfill Men.

Love it.

Love it, love it, love it.

I would be remiss if I didn't share a gud.

He walked up to me in the lobby today and he said, my marriage is on the verge of divorce.

And he said, watching your podcast has helped me to stand up and be the man that.

God called me to be.

He said, but this Wednesday, me and my wife will be facing our last counseling session, and in that meeting, she's going to decide whether or not she wants to move on with the marriage.

And I begin to pray with him in that lobby.

But I want the Body of Christ to join with me in this prayer.

This is called Ford City Church, and I want you all to pray that the Lord pushes their marriage forward.

I don't want people sitting in the body of believers alone suffering in silence.

And y'all know it's a great deal for a man to come share that with another man.

And so when he walked and shared that with me, I said, man, this is powerful.

I said, listen, I want you to DV and me because I believe God is going to change your wife's heart.

The Bible says that people get divorces due to heartened hearts.

That's what happened.

It's a hardened heart where we don't allow God's love to permeate that space.

And so what I want us to do.

Real briefly, and I want you to lead in this pastor is just pray for this couple that in the next three days God does us suddenly.

And turn that things around.

Yes, Lord, Yes, Lord, Golenlujah, Father, thank you.

That marriage is not man's idea.

It's not a good idea that a philosopher or professor came up with.

Marriage was created and instituted by you.

It was you who looked at Adam and said it's not good for man to be alone.

Yes, Lord and Father, I do know that the enemy has been working overtime to bring division, not just to this nation, but the way that he can make the divided states of America is to make our homes divided.

Yes, and to try to push husbands and fathers out of the homes due to disagreements and due to not being on the same page, whatever the issue is.

Father, I thank you that, through your spirit that you bring unity.

The Bible says in Psalm's one thirty three, how good and pleasant it is when we gather together in unity.

It says for whether its unity, you command the blessings.

So, Father, I.

Thank you for unity.

I thank you for this couple in Jesus' name, that you will do a quick and a divine work.

I come against every.

Weapon that's been formed by the evil one.

I come against every plot, every ploy, every plan that's been scheduled in hell.

Father, and I thank you for victory.

Yes, Scott, over this couple and over every couple in Jesus' name.

Come on, if you believe it, give him a praise.

Right man, Amen, And I want you to clap like you're waiting on God to restore your marriage.

I want you to.

Give God some praise like your brother and your sister needs your breakthrough, needs you to stand in the gap for them.

I need you to.

I'm trying not to get up out of the seatra I need you to begin to pray an enner seed on behalf of your brother and sister.

I'm sick in time of the enemy.

Having divorced statistics in the body of Christ, the same as people in the world.

We are a chosen people.

We are a chosen priesthood.

It's time for me to rise up.

And I got to sit there.

I'm trying to do this podcast episode.

But I'm sick and tired of us allowing the devil to run a rapid in our marriages, in our household.

Why am I sick and tired of it?

The Bible says one can chase away a thousand, but you can set ten thousand demons to flight.

That means that every married couple.

Has the power to chase off ten thousand demons.

The minute you say I do you have now not intered just into covenant, but you entered into divine power.

You entered into vine authority.

You entered into something that to make the gates of.

Hell fearful of you, fearful of your marriage, fearful.

Of your covenant.

I'm sick and tired of it, and i want the Kingdom of God to arise.

I want the Kingdom of God to arise in the name of Jesus, and I want men to take their rightful positions, the rightful positions.

I had to look up the etymology of the word husband.

The word is called husbandi, which is a Norse word which means keeper of the house, one who holds his house together, one who bans his house together as a foundation as kings in our households.

It's time out for women to keep their houses together.

It's time out for women to lead the charge to keep their households together.

It's time out for that.

It's time out for that.

It's time for men to stand.

In their rightful positions, take dominion and authority against the enemy, and declare that what God has joined together, let no man put us under in the name of Jesus.

In the name of Jesus, let me sit back down, Hallelujah.

I'm sick of alonia.

I'm sick of it.

I'm sick of it.

I'm sick of it.

I'm sick of it.

I'm sick of social media.

Ex Lord putting single men against single women, letting them think that we're better off separated, God making us.

Believe the lies.

I love what you said earlier, Jackie, in the first service, where you said God has to begin to heal us over our preferences.

We start believing that, you know, a man has to provide one hundred percent and all that nonsense.

I had an episode with Jason Wilson that says, men and my wife got.

It together together.

So I love that.

It was a place in his life life where he could only tie ten dollars.

That's it.

But that didn't deter you took many of the dollar movies.

But he was a man of integrity, a man of integrity.

He could keep the vowels for the ring that he gave.

I could have had carriacks, but I had a man with character that.

Par that far.

So many women got big greens but an empty marriage.

So many women got big greens but empty marriages.

That man is a man of valor, and you must honor the mighty Man of valor that you've been blessed with, and many of us are missing it with our preferences.

God, let us find our preferences to your will.

Let us find our preferences to your will and Jesus, and I say it for men as well.

On we have to allow the Lord to align our lives with the will of the Lord, that he might be glorified in Jesus name.

Anybody believing that we're gonna do it like you want it?

Amen, Amen, hallelujah, hallelujah.

See y'all started this.

Y all had the Holy go before I got here.

Y'all had the Holy gls running away.

I was so broke.

She didn't just get my last name green, the ring God bought her started turning on her fingers green.

True too, that's true.

I just wanted to say that, and so but we talked about this a little of Terians.

So many people will count their husband or their wife out in seed form, not recognizing who they are to become.

You gotta have spiritual the sermon to see beyond the green finger, because I can see the green man arising to be everything that God said, where.

Are your spiritual eyes of the sermon to see?

Right?

With two on the surface, ask God to give you eyes to see.

But that comes from a life of prayer.

You gotta look beyond the surface.

You gotta go deeper than what you can see with your eyes.

We need to pray.

God, open my eyes.

And see like you see when I'm experiencing these men and women.

Open my eyes and see how you see.

And Jesus' name, Hey man.

I'll be remiss if I didn't share this story.

I interviewed Lisa and Tom Bill you an amazing couple, but they shared the story about how they were dating.

Beautiful white couple.

They were dating and she was attracted to the guys with the systems in the car, the guys that had the nice vehicles or whatever.

And when she went out with him, he had this like he was driving his grandfather's car something.

It was Ragley or whatever.

She said.

But one thing that he did that no other guy did was he opened the door for her, and she said, hold on, I like this this is something I didn't even think I needed.

She went to her father and said, this guy's real intention on, I want to marry him, and she was like, he's broke, he can't marry my daughter.

That man is now a billionaire.

He saw Quest Nutrition.

I'm trying to help you understand some you talk about the seed form.

He is now a billionaire, and he credits his success not because of his brilliance, but because he joined hands with the right woman those energy bars quest Nutrition.

That's time at least to Bill.

You.

Let me start off in the back, and I want you you introduce yourself.

You introduce yourself.

This lost the spirit where we were at dire.

We talked to you.

Yet where do we stop?

Where do we stop?

I asked everybody.

See y'all, don't talk to everybody.

So I'm gone.

I'm so gone.

All right, So here we go.

So we're gonna start right here.

You twenty two years old.

Do you desire marriage?

Absolutely?

Absolutely, that's it.

Of course.

I think.

I'm sorry, y'all.

I'm ready to shout, y'all.

I know I'm ready to run.

I haven't see.

I feel something about left for you right now now, But cancer cussing.

Absolutely, I desire a marriage.

The Lord put it on my heart.

I want to say earlier this year that I'm called to marriage, and just understanding the true desire of it, Understanding but it looks like for a husband to lead, understanding what a true wife submission looks like, and understanding how to nurture that.

And I think it's something.

That we're genuinely called to, but we're called to for a reason.

What would you say if someone says you're only twenty two years old, you're too young to get married, You're too young to even be thinking about marriage, I said, the devil is a lie?

Like what what you lie?

I'll say, there's no age limit to your a nineteen and there's no age limit to your calling.

If he tells you at nineteen years old or fifty five years old that you are called to marriage and called to this thing, it's up to you to be obedient to that calling.

Isn't this crazy?

Though?

People will tell you you too young to be married?

But what are some things that they told you real early in age about twelve thirteen years old?

That was a lie?

When you marriage it up to the grace of God.

They told me a lot, I'll say they all a lot of my traditional uncles told me to just have multiple women.

You're not winning if you don't have a few in your circle.

I think I told you earlier.

They used to tell me, why go to one fish when you can have a tank full?

You know, And it's just those lies kind of deceived me in my earlier years because it's that was the lifestyle I was taught to live.

How did you come against that?

How did I come against?

Come against that?

Thought?

This unlearning?

Because you were trained in this, You were taught by this by.

People that you looked up to, people that you admired.

How did you unlearn that toxic masculinity?

I'll first give a lot of praise to my pastors for not only leading that yeah, yeah, for not only leading me but leading the soon to be wife of mine into that position.

Did you just shoot your shot?

Where are you at?

Queen?

Stand up?

Stand up?

Stand up?

Stand up?

He said it with his chest, he said soon to me white.

And so yes, them leading me, and also just getting in my own word, I'm very strong.

If there's no personal conviction, there's no relational and spiritual growth.

So just learning those concepts, understanding that I have to deny myself so he can increase in my life ultimately in my marriage as well.

That's what I'm talking about.

Let's go ahead and talk to y'all.

Oh, Kendrick, y'all been married for how long?

We've been married for?

Five months?

Go October?

The third will be five months?

Five months, five months.

And this isn't y'all's first marriage?

Is it is not what made you decide to do it again?

Man?

For me, my parents have been married all my life, so they've been together as long as I've been alive.

And more so, I grew up in a model home demonstrating what a good, successful marriage looks like.

So when my last marriage failed, it wasn't marriage.

That I looked like.

It was the situation that I saw that wasn't proper.

It wasn't actual the model of marriage.

Because marriage is good.

God created marriage, so marriage is good.

So if we stay right there, that's the reason why I did it again.

And when she came along, I just knew it was right for various reasons.

A lot of reasons.

You said something about you're doing you did it the right way, and she did it the wrong way.

What was he referring to, Jarnisian.

He's referring to our upbringing.

So, like Kendrick said, he.

Grew up marriage was around him.

I grew up in a culture where I didn't see marriage at all.

So I grew up searching for love.

But I just knew that I had to I couldn't find it nowhere.

So when I joined the Milli's harry.

The military has a culture of you get married for money.

I heard every boy talk about it.

Go ahead, So.

Yeah, and the military their culture is, and I know it's not for everybody, but the culture is when you're a junior soldier, because I was in the army, if you want to move out the barracks, or if you want to get a little bit more money in your.

Pocket, go ahead and get married.

Wow.

So that's what I did.

So, coming from a very small town in Georgia to the military culture, marriage was never on my radar.

And so you got married at what age?

So I really.

So I originally got married at twenty three years old to a friend of mine who was who I just knew because I did, unfortunately have a child while I was in the military.

So I was just so heartbroken and I just ran into the hands of somebody familiar.

I didn't go to God at all to say, hey, should I.

Be marrying this person, and honestly, I wanted to help him out as well.

How did you want to help him out?

Not to put to his business out there, just.

Your business, your side of the business.

I just want your side of the business to put out there, That's.

What I want.

You don't put his business to put your side of it.

The part that's a part of your testimony, not his testimony.

He was he stepped up.

And helped me with my daughter when she was very young.

So he was having a hard time finding work.

And again, if you're in the military, if you're married to somebody, they're pretty much guarantee a job as well.

So I said, well, let's get.

Married so you can find a job that's interesting.

So have you always been very sacrificial like that?

Absolutely still to this day.

To this very day.

And so what made you after you got a divorce, what made you decide to let's try this again.

I think I was always called to marriage because it just has been a struggle for my entire life.

I grew up searching, trying to search for love, but I didn't know that I could find it in God.

And I saw for a city online.

I immediately started crying.

And it was funny because it was one of the single nights.

When I first saw it online, I started crying.

I was in my apartment, started busting out crying, and I decided.

To walk into you know, the sanctuary.

And at this at this time, Pastor Travis was always talking about single moms, like all the time.

So I just came out, laid on an altar, and I was like, God, I want help, but I want the person.

That you have for me.

Let me tell you something, jar Nisan, who you said you struggled with being pretty much seen throughout your whole life, and God showed up online and you saw yourself, you felt seen for the first time as a single mom.

That is so powerful.

That's how intentional God is at pursuing us, at pursuing us.

And even right before we came on, you said, yeah, I'm just I'm a little nervous because you know, I'm a single mom or whatnot.

And Kendrick, what'd you say to her?

I told her that there's other people out here who can relate to her story.

And she has a testimony that so many ladies need to need to hear and need to learn and grow through because you're not in it alone.

Pastor Travis has shown us that many times over and over again.

And I speak to the moment when he's still right here.

He started giving out money to single moms.

You have a family here and you have a support system here.

So that's what I have to say.

Hey, man, I'm a single daddy.

You want to do that again.

I'm a single there's a lord lead knowing you I'm a single daddy.

I'll staying right there.

Thanks you, blessed her.

I want to share this real quick too.

La Terra's not only is she a single mom, and not only are new lee weds, but she's also extremely prophetic.

I found out.

I think it was like last week.

We were in a production meeting and I threw their names out and I said, Yo, they're newly wed a couple, and we have a lot of young people in the church, and I think just their story can be very helpful.

And then I think our production already reach out to them.

And then a few hours later, Kendrick hit me up and it's like, Yo, something.

Crazy that happened.

I gotta I gotta tell you about it.

And I think a super busy at the moment, I was like, yo, what happened, and just tell him a little bit of what happened.

So so I called him and I and I told him, I said, I got to tell you this and over the phone because my wife just had her dream.

She woke up and she uh, and she.

Said, look like we were standing outside there was a long line outside of Ford City and were trying to get in.

She said, Pastor Jackie, Pastor Jackie and Pastor Travis was blowing up our phone like calling us like we was needed, like we was needed.

Were supposed to be be in a place doing a thing.

And and when she told me that, like you know, we we tried to figure it out.

We didn't know and everything.

And that's when jac called us and said, hey, y'all are asked to be on their Future Wife podcast.

So we knew we was gonna be on a platform, be on a stage doing something.

We just didn't know what it was.

So and I just want to add a little bit what he left out was when pastors were calling us, they said, I said, well, we're in the back of the They said, no, anytime you go somewhere, go VI, I P and I said okay.

So they were just like where are you at?

Where are you at anytime you go to another conference or anywhere else?

Go vi?

I P.

God is amazing.

That's a word.

That's a word.

That is a word.

Let me go and ask you JC.

Yeah, we're gonna jump right on over there.

Since they already mention your name, how do these Dayton streets have been treating you?

I'm I'm laughing because I am Hey, I just need to see.

Is there any bold women of God, men of God out there?

Can you stand up for me?

Okay?

That's what I thought.

That's what it looks like.

There's no one standing up.

Yeah, so I thought, I'm sorry.

Okay, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Okay, okay, who all right?

I had to do it.

I'm so sorry.

Coming over here and get your wife.

I'm sorry.

Okay, but for real, No, that is real.

Actually that's real.

That's it.

No, No, no, I think.

Yes that say so.

So let me tell you is are you are you still hopeful for marriage?

Absolutely?

Absolutely?

I do believe there are men of God out there that are doing it the right way, doing it the holy way, and pursuing that.

And I think it's just all about timing for me personally, I'm I actually am actively praying for my future husband.

I don't know where he is, what he's doing, whatever, but God has really called me to intercede on his behalf wherever he's at and praying for alignment and whatever that looks like.

So I know there is a man of God out there for me.

God is keeping him for me.

God has you know, assigned him for me, and I'm just waiting on the right time.

When's the last time you've been on a date?

Wow, look out for my girl.

A real day, probably like three years ago.

It was like a guy like actually tried to pursue me.

So it's been a while.

And you said that you used to have an insecurity over your purity.

Can you speak on that with a lot of women and that may be holding that sacred and feel like that may be disqualifying them from meeting their purpose partner.

Can't you speak and give hope to that?

Yeah, I think if you grew up in a culture of a purity culture that you know just told you that things like certain things were bad or you shouldn't.

You should do it this way, you should do it this way, you should do it this way and you've actually been keeping yourself.

I always want to say first that God honors that about you, and you should never look at it as a negative thing.

Ever.

God honors that, and God honors you for that.

But I believe society and culture paints a different story.

It's telling you you should be dibbling and dabbling.

You should be trying all the things.

You should be testing it out and seeing what you like and what you don't like.

You don't have to do that.

That's a lie.

You don't have to.

Do that because you're actually wasting your time when you do that, and you should just be saving yourself for the right thing at the right time.

And so I just want to speak into that for me.

Yes, like my purity became an insecurity in like high school and college because that was the demand was like, well, this is the cool thing.

You should try it out.

You should just see blah blah blah.

And I was like, okay, well then something's wrong about me.

Maybe there's something wrong.

I don't know.

So I just want to say that it is a God honoring thing to keep yourself in alignment with God's way of seeing purity and all those things.

Yeah, Amen.

Amen, Amen, happening.

Let's talk about your dating journey.

Do you desire marriage?

And the reason why I asked women that is that at first I used to always assume that every woman wanted to get married, and I found out that women like I don't want to be married.

And I recognized that some men were trying to coherce and encourage or persuade their women to get married, and their women did not want to get married.

And so I always ask that question, do you desire marriage?

Absolutely?

I do desire to be married.

More than that, I desire the work of marriage and the woman that I will become.

Through the marriage.

So I do desire to be a wife and whatever comes with him.

Hold on, now, you said the woman you will become in the marriage.

Now that comes against this.

Ideology that a woman is already together.

She got us stuff together, she.

Don't need no man.

She got her degree, she got her own bank, could count miss I, E N.

D EEP all that stuff.

But trying to be a keylling the B so so they know how to spell independent.

And you saying that.

You believe that marriage is going to help you become a different.

Level of a woman.

Absolutely, Why is that I believe that your husband and your wife hold keys for you.

Yeah, I believe.

I believe they hold keys for you.

I believe that God has put certain assignments in their life, certain assignments in your life that you can bring forth, that they can bring forth in you.

And I feel like that only that person in marriage has that voice or the way of saying it that can bring it out of you.

It's a partnership.

You guys are doing this for the kingdom, you know what I mean.

So it's a kingdom assignment.

And you're continuously growing in the hands of God, in the presence of God.

And if your marriage is in God, you're going to continue to grow.

God is beautiful, beautiful.

And let me tell you this is a large growth for you because you've been a serial relationship person, right, You've been a relationship as far as you can remember.

And God called you to a relationship fast in February.

How did you respond to God when he told you, hey, ebne, get somewhere and sat down, come out these streets, sit right here in this house, and I.

Need to have a relationship with just me and you.

I act like I didn't hear him.

I said I didn't hear that he doesn't want that for me, and I continue to have little situationships.

I decided to go my own way, and God allowed me gracefully, and he said, okay, I'll let you continue to break your own heart.

I'll let you continue to hold on.

You say break your own heart?

Did you say?

God said I'm allow you to break your own heart?

That is a word, ain't it?

How did you break your own.

Heart by continuing to choose the things that hurt me?

And I say, that's what accountability looks like.

Sounds like, smells like, yeah, go ahead.

I chose to love the things that didn't love me.

I was very.

Desperate for it to love me and to choose me.

And it didn't.

It constantly spat in my face, it constantly broke me, It constantly tore me apart.

And there's this verse that I want to share that kind of explains it a little bit better.

Yeah, go to the world.

It's Isaiah one five through six.

Why do you continue to invite punishment?

Bust?

You rebel forever.

Your head is injured and your heart is sick.

You are battered from head to foot, covered with bruises, Wealth and infected wounds without any soothing, ointments or bandages.

So that explains how I continue to break my own heart.

Wow, Wow, she gonna make somebody a good wife.

Yeah, I'm lett y'all understand that, fellas.

I'm letting y'all know when.

You hear this is what I call the sound of a wife, when you start hearing that, when you hear that level of accountability, when you hear that word, and when they can go to a scripture to let you know that this is what she went through in order for her to be found by you.

But she can't just go with anybody.

She gotta go with somebody that has the right prescription to be able to see who she is and not lead us to a path of destruction.

But somebody that knows how to cultivate her into becoming the woman that she sees that is necessary to honor God.

God.

WHOA, That's what I'm talking about my God today.

Danny.

You think you fine, don't you?

Danny?

You think you all cute and attractive.

I know you do.

I know you heard it all your life.

You heard you had good hair and all that good stuff.

You heard it.

You've heard it, Danny, it's a lot.

Believe it too.

When they told you it's a lot of hair dyes, it's a lot of hair dye.

So let me ask you this, do you desire Do you desire marriage?

Absolutely?

Why do you desire marriage?

It's the last thing that he has for me.

It's the ultimate goal.

You know, everything that's going on going through my life is preparing me for that.

I'm just ready to share it.

You ready to share it?

I am.

What do you believe you have to offer your future wife?

Uh, there's a lot.

I don't want to sit here and uh put myself.

I want you to cover yourself.

I want I want people to know the growth that you've gone through.

But yeah, so so to be honest with you, I was, you know, I was a product of my environment of a single household and a lot of abusiveness and that's just what stuck with me.

And it was tough.

I heard a lot of women, Oh sorry about that.

I heard a lot of women.

But then I realized I was hurting God's kids, his daughters, And it was tough, man.

You know.

I would lie about so much to.

A point where I even I was telling women.

Whatever they wanted to hear.

To get whatever I want.

Wow, including that I was a man of God and I went to church.

Do you hear what he just said to y'all?

He said I would even lie to them to let them know that he was a man of listen.

But that's that's where he caught me.

I walked in here and then I walked out a different person.

I am not perfect, but I'm getting there and I just can't wait when that time comes, I'm gona be posting everywhere.

And yeah, I'm thirty nine years old, so the you know, the you have these thoughts of you am I too old?

And I don't have any kids.

I've never been married or anything like that, and that's what's all around me.

It's tough to look at.

Wow.

So so I want you to share that.

Yeah, talk about that.

I'm glad you said that because a lot of times people think that as a single man.

I remember people accuse me of having this platform.

And not wanting marriage.

I said, y'all don't understand me.

Not getting married is failure to me because I have this platform, and so people can be so like bent with their own trauma and decisions and not realizing I stayed and that's why doctor Jackie don't understand what she said.

What she understands because she's prophetic.

But when you begin to pray and you start talking in the first service and prayed about the inner healing that I've done and the inner work, she would have no idea about how much I stayed on my face before God and said, God, they making reels about me, They making memes about me.

They said, I don't want to get married God.

You know, I just can't get married to the wrong person.

See see, the right person takes a little bit more time because while I'm waiting on God to bring the right person, that God is still cultivating, changing, healing some stuff in me.

So I don't damage his daughter.

So when God brestes me with his daughter, that I don't mismanage her, because I mismanaged the heart of a woman before.

So he said, La terras, take their time, get healed from some things.

You got to overcome some past trauma.

And then when I present her to you, that you will know is sent by me.

And I'm glad to announce that God has blessed with my purpose partner.

She's absolutely amazing.

She carries the heart of God.

She carries the annointing of God.

She carries the covering of God.

And so I want you to speak real briefly about how people assume that you just don't want to be married, but you really desire it.

You know, it's gotten to a point where I'm getting tired of being the elephant in the room.

Okay, thirty nine, no kids, never been married?

What's wrong with you?

What is wrong with Danny vow?

And what's wrong is I haven't gotten over what I've been dealing with.

So I got to I have to take time for myself.

But it took till I was thirty six years old when God smacked me and said it's time, and it started surrounding me with some great people.

And it's been up.

Since it's been up.

I mean to be honest, it's not an issue with me finding someone to date.

The problem is understanding what's for me.

You got the flesh and you have faith, and I'm working on that.

I mean to put myself out there.

A couple of weeks ago, I went on a date and I was like, am I really about.

To tell this girl this ain't gonna work out?

I mean, beautiful, So how did you know it was gonna work out.

We talked about being equally yoked at the same time.

But I'd like to give people grace because sometimes I'm not sure if I'm My purpose is to help these people out.

But then I got to find that little gray area because I don't want to then get on the other side.

So it was just a lot of praying.

When I meet people, I pray before and after, and I've noticed the more I do that and the more I write, it just happens.

The answers just come.

They just come.

So so yeah, I mean it's been great.

I'm happy.

I feel great.

I feel good.

I don't feel like I'm thirty nine.

I feel like I'm reborn.

I'm twenty five.

And yeah, it's up.

And so you said your flesh wanted to say yeah, but your spirit and what God said is no, yeah, you.

Gotta unders said.

I really feel that some of our issues is there's what we want and what we need the flesh and what God said, yes, and we just got to deal with that.

How many y'all can identify that that's the tension between what you want.

You say, I want a man that's six foot five, you only fort eleven.

Like, I don't know where y'all get this stuff from.

I want a man that's six foot six foot twelve with is seven feet and you say, but like, where you get that from?

You meet a God.

And that's why I love what she said.

It's not about the Charris, It's about the character when you start praying and really understand what one Corinthians thirteen says, which is a little plug for this song that Travis Green and Jonathan mac reynolds have, because in the bridge of that I was listening at this morning, I was like, Yeah, they sitting up here singing first corinth Thence thirteen.

I was vibing to it.

I like it.

And so the reality is, I want y'all to have the heart posture where your decisions are aligned with God's decisions, and that's where the tension lies.

The quicker you can get to take on the mind of Christ.

That's why God says, renew your mind.

That's where you're going to find your purpose.

Partner, as you've been hearing this conversation the Greens, what are some things you would like to speak into this conversation.

I think it's just.

So necessary that we remember that marriage is God's idea, and you know, the Bible also talks about Paul was a big advocate for singlehood and like he was like, man, I ain't married, and I wish that nobody would get married.

Because I feel like you could be more focused on Jesus.

And I'm like, man, good for you, Paul.

How many y'all got a Paul annoying you raise your hand?

Nobody up?

Well?

The spirit of left in another dispensation.

But Paul also had enough wisdom and he said, he says this line is very better to marry than to burn.

And he said, man, if you are.

If you know what you need and it's gonna cause.

You the sin being outside of marriage, then it's better to get married to someone so that you could be covered.

So that's one thing that's really important to me in this church.

My wife and I are just big.

We're big on marriage.

I believe that relationships can either take you off or take you down.

But also my wife mentioned something earlier that I think is so important that people understand that in the sanctity of marriage, we're really called to cover each other.

And I think there's been so many divorces that aren't even based off of someone cheating or this, and that I think they've been based off of someone forgot that it was my responsibility to cover you.

Love covers a multitude of sins.

Love covers of multitude of sins.

I was having a converse with one of my spiritual sons and I was just talking to them and I was like, hey, man, you know the sex thing.

You know, this ain't Netflix.

This ain't like Lifetime.

You know this, ain't you know a Hallmark movie?

Like you don't just get down because there's red roses and its sparkling, and it's like, oh man, there's a spark in my eye.

I had somebody in this church every one time we lost our spark.

I don't you have a spark for your wife?

I don't feel like I have a spark.

And I was like what I was like, man, spark, bro, this ain't the movies like you fan the flame.

That's how you keep the spark alive.

You make the spark and then you keep it hot.

They ain't this, ain't you know what I mean?

Like?

So, so even this idea about sex right that has been so promoted that it is also thwarted and messed up our minds in the church where we think that in marriage it is like, oh, like we get down because we feel like it.

No, we get down because.

It's our responsibility to cover each other.

You don't know how many times I haven't felt like it, but I knew my wife needed to be covered a Travis, you need a covering, you need a coress.

There's so many times.

That I do it out of obligation.

Boy, by.

The devil is a lie.

Yeah yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah.

It's obligation and duty and so just even that understanding that man, I am called to cover, right, So whatever is necessary in that covering, whether it is uh sexual or sometimes it's just emotional, I need to be there and show up and cover so that you have a shoulder to cry on.

Spiritual I'm there to cover.

Now.

I think when people start remembering that that it is a partnership and it requires teamwork and every for everybody.

It requires work, you know what I mean?

Thing was ever said, man, like, I'm excited about the work of marriage that even though my wife and I don't argue a lot, it's still is intentional decisions and work every day.

Man, How can I show her that that She's worthy of love and worthy of respect and worthy of honor.

And how can I demonstrate that and allow God to do that through me?

Love it?

Wow, doctor Jacket.

Two things came to mind, and it was kind of brought up in the conversation.

Oftentimes people are getting married for the benefits.

And I'll be honest, and this is a new thing that I just kind of came to realize.

Some women want to be mothers so bad that they want to be a mother more than they want to be a wife.

WHOA.

That was surprising to me because the truth is it's a call to your husband first and then to your children.

And that is not tall enough, I'm telling you.

And I know I'm just.

Gonna speak for Black culture because I'm a part of Black culture.

Mama's you be.

Losing your marriage because you're married to your kids?

Can I speak from a mother that is a devoted mom?

But they will not get more attention, more.

Devotion, more prayer, more sacrifice.

Then I will give to this man.

He's the hot person my home and I would not have them without him.

And so I'm just gonna say, do not allow your marriage to die on the altar because you are so so stuck on making sure your kids get every part of you because they gonna get married and leave you.

They gonna have their own families, and then you're gonna be home sad because you don't put your whole life out into them.

And I don't know why God had that be the thing that came to my mind, but I am saying, don't forget the covenant that you made to your spouse first.

Don't want to be a mama so bad that you don't want to be a good wife.

That was just one thing.

The other thing that I want to also talk about, it's this idea and Lataris and Pastor Travis both brought this up in marriage.

And you might be getting through relationship, through situationship, through you know, the things we do before we get married that we shouldn't do, desires for feel but there's a covering that is necessary.

That is a power that comes only through covenant.

And you could be denying the benefits of all that God wants to bring through you, bring to you because you will not actually make the commitment that God has called you to.

I'm saying this, there's a little boy in you, there's a little girl in you that even in marriage, will not be unlocked in heal without you actually making the vowel, and so many people that are in this room.

You might be getting your need satisfied, but the actual greater need that needs to be healed, it is laying on the trackway of you making the decision to honor God and your commitment.

And so I really do feel like God is calling.

Some men and women forward into covenant that will bring about everything that you need that you've been waiting on.

Absolutely powerful.

Can y'all give it up for this dynamic panel?

Y'all?

Thank you so much for a city church, for hosting the Dear Future Wife You podcast here.

Thank you so much.

Any closing remarks you want to before I wrap.

It up, No, We're grateful for you man with this not amazing y'all, come on, well this not amazing, incredible man, thank you, Thank you for your time, thank you for your sacrifice.

Thank you for the work that you've done even to be able to pour into.

This house and important to people.

All around the world.

And guys, we're a little overtime typically for our service.

But before you start making a.

Mass exodus, I do want to just have an opportunity to pray, and I believe that the Lord wants to do something in your heart today.

So if you'll just join me on your feet for a moment before anyone else leave, if you could, and first I'd like to just pray over latarious if we can.

You gotta stretch your hands up here.

Lord.

I thank you for our brother in Christ.

Thank you, Father for this day, and thank you for this man that you prepared for such a time as this.

Thank you Father for his full story.

The Bible said that we overcome him which is the enemy, by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of our testimony.

So thank you for the power of his testimony.

I thank you for the wisdom in his mind.

God, thank you for the purity in his heart.

Father.

There are so many people right now God who are going forthward.

He'll motives.

Father, but here's a man with clean hands and a pure heart who wants to hear well done.

Yes, Father, I pray that you'll protect them as you continue to take them around the world.

Thank you for his future wifey.

Thank you for their union, and thank you for how you'll allow them even together to be a dynamic duo.

Father, correct.

Would you just surround him with the correct people and the right team, continue to give him influence and use him for your.

Glory and for your power.

In Jesus name and Father, I also just to clear my work that you just placed in my heart, that you would carry influence Will Atarians.

I thank you God that as you call him the higher heights and deeper depths, that he would care reinfluence Will, that he would live as a man of integrity, that he would be a light on a city on a hill.

I thank you Father that he would draw many to you through.

This podcast, but he would stand with integrity, never forgetting that his strength comes from Boweh.

Yes, Lord, I pray God that you continue to moving forward faster, but keep him close to you and the mighty name of Jesus.

Amen, Amen, come.

On, give God a pray.

Ladarian thrusted suddenly into child protective services in twenty fifteen, my nephew, black a boy the likelihood have been adopted outside of kinship slim to none Ourmione sixteen years old, Black a boy with five years in the Falster care system before I even knew his name.

The likelihood have ever been adopted yep you guessed it slim to none.

While Laderian and OURMIONI were trying to survive and barely thrive in an overpopulated and underfunded Falster care system, I was living my own life, doing well professionally, having been a single father with a daughter who at that point was doing well in college.

It was my time to live my life right.

Wrong.

I felt unsettled, tireless, agitated.

There are just two many of our black children stuck in ambiguity and in the limbo of the Falseter care system.

In twenty seventeen, I legally adopted my nephew Ladaria.

Fast forward to twenty nineteen.

I had no ties to this other young king, but I felt God instructed me to adopt.

Them also in al Babe.

Starting over with parenting should have been enough.

Right, Working with various foster care and adoption agencies to help bring awareness to the countless young Black Kings and the Falster care system should have decreased my agitation.

Right, Joining the board of directors of Advantage of Adoption and organization that helps find permanent adoptive homes for children in false care should have led to some type of resolve.

Right, No, not at all, none of If it felt like I had done enough, I now realized that every one of those experiences was land the fundamental foundation for my life's mission.

Kingdom Royal.

Kingdom Royal would be a luxury, state of the art home for foster boys.

Our first location will be in the Dallas Fort Worth Metroplex.

We will utilize the whole person approach that instills identity, empowers them to advocate for themselves, and enlightens them regarding new perspectives and limitless options that they thought were impossible.

Though, the young Kings will attend the local public schools that are in proximity to Kingdom Royal.

Our at home curriculum will broaden their worldview through participating in the arts, attending various cultural events, learning about and engaging in multifaceted discussions about current events and even relevant historical contexts, introducing them to gardening and landscaping, and even caring for our animals on our form and on site stables.

We just launched our startup capital campaign with the goal of raising two point eight million dollars.

Now why two point eight million dollars?

Well?

In twenty seventeen, I created a web series in which I performed random acts of kindness for targeting the homeless community.

One of the most notable successes was that one of the videos went viral, garnering twenty eight million views.

However, one of my biggest regrets is that I didn't raise a single dollar to help in implementing a more sustainable plan for the homeless community.

So throughout the years, with much remorse, I reflect that I'm not maximizing that moment.

I knew if at that time just ten percent of the viewers donated one dollar, we would have raised at least two point eight million dollars that could have really established long term support for the homeless community, or at least started a long term initiative to do so.

This is my do over, This is our new beginning.

Together, we can attack this at the route by specifically help helping our homeless Black boys who are already disproportionately represented in the American fossil care system.

I'm a Terisarwickfield.

I've been nominated for three regional Emmys documenting my work with the homeless as well as my personal adoption journey.

Despite those accolades, the greatest award for me is truly providing the infrastructure for a transformed life.

Visit Kingdom Royal dot com for more details, crown a king and make a donation today.

I hope you enjoyed this episode of the Dear Future WIFEI podcast.

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