Are you leaving?

I you wanna way back home?

Either way, we want to be there, doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us time and they terminol and gay.

We want to send you off in style.

We wanna welcome you back home.

Tell us all about it.

We scared her?

Was it fine?

Malborn?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Ride with Karen and Chris.

Welcome to Do you need a ride?

This is Chris Fairbank and this is Karen Tilgareth.

This is part two of the last episode.

If you haven't listened to it yet, do now stop doing this.

You will not understand what's happening in this conversation.

You really want to lose ends and if you like welcome.

Backs, yes, have you been to that?

Sorry?

I'm sorry.

I thought that was just an inside I didn't realize that was like a really dark dungeon situation.

Chris, anyway, I'm Michael Fred.

I love it.

I'm going to introduce myself in those same breath.

I love it.

I'm most professional guest ever experienced.

Yeah, and I guess I don't need to intro myself.

But I'm a lawyer in New York City and I'm pretty tall, and I feel really well in this.

Yes, yeah, don't make me bring up those horse tattoos again.

I've got it.

I do have.

It's so funny you picked up on the horse because there are way more I get horrific, egregious things.

This is a dog drinking of beer and it says, don't tell me what to do.

And you saw a horse.

That's the system in America.

His eyes are that.

These are trifocals.

I got the trifocals.

Loose loose ends, got me T shirt getting Joe.

Don't touch the cops if you are intervening.

Yeah, yeah, I kidnapping situation.

Yeah, yes, it's getting the advice is changing every fucking day for me because sometimes, like someone will ask me, and it's really subjective.

It's like, assess how you appear in society, right, Like, are you someone who appears to have like a lot of white privilege, Then what I'm going to tell you to do is different than someone who is maybe a person of course, So that is and it's it has always been like that, but now it's just under a microscope.

Extreme yees, step one, grow back my mustache because I at least look.

I demanded, Yeah, my god, and then the cops will think they listen to me.

He's just taking the weekend off work.

For the city in some capacity.

Oh yeah's license.

What are you doing with this man?

Oh no, that just happened is the auto body shot?

Oh absolutely destroyed me.

But it's being dropped off.

It just got total And they.

Actually just brought that from the local high school where they're like, don't drink, drink drive.

Did they do that at your high school?

They did it at my Yeah, scared straight.

Then the Power team had come out and rip in half a phone book.

Scared straight, and Chris is still ten percent.

Waiver.

I haven't put the phone back on the charger.

Yeah, I'm at I'm at five G now.

Chris banging dudes in space.

His botomy is bottoming through the galaxy.

A very special nine one line up Next on Loose ends with Michael Footing, Chris Scare bangs.

Power.

It's medical Risk.

That is going to be a party in like the Tenderloin.

You know it's going to be fulsome street affair.

Bottom gravity.

Yeah, it's almost impossible.

I feel like a judge is going to bring this up.

They're going to be like, we heard you on.

A clerk is going to be like you filthy, filthy, filthy homosexual.

You can say what you're the Do you have video evidence?

Yeah?

Thank you this inimitable.

Voice, yeah yeah, okay, so gauge what you appear to be.

Yeah.

I definitely don't like touch the cops.

They don't like that.

Don't touch the police forrces.

I do a lot of running jokes on TikTok about police forces, but really do not touch them.

Yeah, and then you know, there if there is like a large group of people filming, like I encourage people to do that.

And it's up to your comfort level.

We were talking to Georgia on My Favorite Murder about this, like what is your comfort level?

Right?

Like some people just are introverts and donate, Like that's great.

I get Before I could afford to be a lawyer on my own, I would do I would get paid by nonprofits who have who would get donations from people to go to court to rep like poor migrants who are getting deported, and I would be their lawyer.

So I actually still have some of those cases, they're like five years old and I'm still working them.

Wow, I don't need I don't take the money now.

But back then it was like, oh, a couple hundred bucks to take this case, like and I get to learn an area of immigration law.

I don't know, Like that was really that was cool as if.

I mean, like eleven years amazing.

It's fun.

I started out doing a little bit of everything, but now I'm really focusing on that just because it's what I love.

I love being in court.

But I've done like, you know, business deals and stuff like that.

That was really that was very different.

I hated it, but it pays the bills.

God, it pays the bills.

Nothing was better than a startup.

Oh, we need a lawyer for our startup, because startups are not real, right, Like they are bullshit.

So like startups are like you know, it's usually a NEPO baby had like an idea when they were doing ayahuasca and then they decided to start some company out of it, right, So when they pull on a lawyer to start incorporate it, it's like, Oh, I'm going to build the hell out of this one.

It's great.

It's a nice little.

And they don't really know the difference.

And it was like you would have to do the work like you It was like a lot of contract work to incorporate a company.

So it was like you were you're earning a lot of money.

You were working a lot though.

Yeah.

Yeah, It's funny though, when I think of all the reasons I would need a lawyer, and the thing that stresses me out the most is a stack of paperwork.

You know.

That is when I want a lawyer the most.

That's why I last.

Yeah, I'd become very good at skimming.

I can skim anything and just sort of like understand what's going on.

Yeah, wow, I thought you meant skimming like the money.

Oh yeah, yeah, taking a little well.

No, I didn't have to go to law school for that, just like a little bit of five finger discount.

Yeah, you steal a lot, do you guys?

Do?

I try try not to steal.

I stole one of the first jobs I ever had in college.

I worked at this cafe and I was I had convinced myself that I deserve to take twenty dollars out of the till so that I could buy beer, and because because they were just paying me like, you know, minimum wage And I was like, God, I deserve a bonus.

They owe me.

It was so funny.

It's insanity soil.

But then my manager.

Beer was no.

She was like, I need a little tip.

I don't have any money.

These guys owe me.

I eat these cookies all day.

But that's another's another time different.

But this manager, Jeff who it was either a genius or just didn't care.

He go, he said to me one day as we were closing, he goes, the cleaning guy came in and it was it was him and his son, and he leaned over to me and goes, I think this cleaning guy is stealing out of the till.

And I suddenly realized, like someone else is going to get fired.

You make decisions like that, and you don't control what happens on the other end.

And and the next time I talked to my dad on the phone, we were talking about something totally different, and for some reason, my dad goes, yeah, you just don't want to be the kind of person that can't keep your hands out of the till.

And then I was like, oh my god, I am that kind.

Of slippery slope.

It's a slippery slope.

I felt horrible for I think I kind of still do.

But it was just like I would have felt nothing.

I would have not at all felt anything anything.

And I've got a pretty good like if I fuck up, I'm like, all right, I'm one of the few men who will actually apologize, like for a mistake he made, but that I would have been like that, I mean, I mean, I don't he didn't get hired.

No, he certainly did not.

I stopped doing it immediately.

And there's and also gave myself away where it's like if Jeff was testing that up, I immediately was like, yep, I just failed.

Dis tested.

To me, the whole situation that is brilliant.

It's really good management.

Probably in Davis, California.

Yeah, where we were, who would play him asks on his podcast?

He could It could be like an Eric stone Street situation.

He was.

This was the late eighties, early nineties, and he definitely gelled his hair a lot, and I suspected that he was.

Gay, but you know, and it is a harbinger of a big homosexual man.

It's just that there's a lot of concern about the shape and you know, direction of the hair.

Who knows I mean, this sounds more like a Palmer job gel.

At the time, it.

Was you only had l a low jel Era, Jippy Doo.

Those were choices.

So he was doing his best.

But I think he invited He invited me to come and watch a movie at his house one night, and then I was.

Like that like a move.

I don't know.

I didn't know really what Jeff was doing, but I was just always drunk.

Someone was like, house to watch a movie.

It kind of seems like it.

But then I was like, but there's no way you like me and my parts.

And we never found out.

We didn't because he didn't he we were watching now that I'm saying about Loud, the one with fucking Nicky when he was hot, the sex what is it nine and a half week and a half It was a sex movie now that I'm yeah, it was supposed to be that.

Of course he was trying to hook up with you.

But as a young woman who was finally in the drama department at Sax City at sex date, I finally was like, my eyes have been open to the world around me of gay people and especially gay man and I was like, there's just no way that that's what you would like.

Maybe he was like, Okay, tern's a babe.

This is my chance to like really solidify yeah self, yes, as or he was going to invite you over watch the movie and then just tell everyone and not do it just because to beat the rumors.

Right, A guy invited me over to watch The Dreamers once, which is like, it's this art house very sexual Michael Pitt, Yes, three ways, yeah, yeah, it is.

That was a move.

That is that was That was a strong move, sir.

Nine and a half weeks was an insane move, and I was not I think I was a little bit in denial as it was happening, where I'm like, oh no.

No, no, you were out on that limb.

And also for you, I'm your employee.

This is illegal if I'm not Mistakenay, yeah yeah.

Well, I mean I don't know what the laws were like back in the nineties in California, they were real loose.

Ends were stealing from this was that's definitely had something on you.

It's almost like, yes, it's very orange, just the New Black where he's like, you're stealing, come and watch a movie at my house.

And then helped me beat the game rumors right, and.

I'm like, as long as you have Keystone beer, I'm there.

Oh yeah, I love I love a Keystone.

The cancer lined that was supposed to make you want to drink.

It with like microplastics, like yeah, you've got a full Amex card in your stomach now.

Lined with cancer.

I think about that as we're so obsessed with, you know, everything being pure as it goes into our bodies.

And then I think of like the nacho cheese and my high school cafeteria, you know, on the just it was just it really was melted saran wrap, yes, on a tortilla chip.

There's It makes me sad that the recipe they used to use for like the nacho cheese at the roller rink.

I can't It's never spicy enough like it used to be.

It used to be a little bit spicier that had more chili in it.

I have such a love hate relationship.

I think I want that cheese, but it's not all the same.

I want like a I want to, I want to.

I want the diet, the Bowling Alley diet.

I would go on that right, like a chili cheese fry, hot dog, mozzarellat my husband eats like a twelve year old girl, like he eats like chicken fingers, mozzarella sticks.

It is very much still a part of my life.

So I do get a good chicken tendi every now and then.

We love an Applebee's visit when I go home to my family for like the holidays.

Applebee's is a beautiful, majestic place.

It's just like you can get a salad and so much melted cheese and so many have you had their pretzel sticks?

Yes, yeah, fucking egg You can have a margarita the size of a truck in that in that place.

We come to this place for magic.

That is a beauti full place.

It's so good every.

Apple and it's and it's like the the intersection of all cultures happens in the bar of an Applebee's.

You've got high brow, lowbrow.

It's the neighborhood, white collar, blue.

Collar in the neighborhood.

Yeah, I heard an interesting thing where the CEO of Applebee's.

It was like she was also she was she was the CEO of like another conglomerate, and they weren't giving her the promotion.

So she left and became the CEO of Applebee's.

And then bought that conglomerate and fired the people and fired the people that didn't differ.

Uh no, she's a white woman, but this was this has many years ago, and she bought it and fired them.

The first call after she bought it was like later, bitch, that was that is a boss.

That's where are we this Griffith, Oh, it's beautiful.

That's a coyote And do you see coyotes?

Yeah, yes, there's golf course there and I often golf.

I used to and coyote gay.

Your gay rating just went down like.

Nine plummeted.

I only do it with other men.

Are very just tying them up.

The coyotes will come.

They just come up to you as if to say hello, for real.

They're golf.

Yeah, they've never been there.

They live at the golf course.

They don't know of the aggressive relationships and cootes.

They're very fluffy.

It makes me miss my dog a little bit.

They but you know, as I have coyotes in my backyard and they try to trick your dogs into being friends so that then they let their guard.

Down and get them.

They it's a big issue.

It's a real issue.

Unless you have a huge dog They will gang up even on a dog their sides, Like, wow, they are aggressive.

That's teamwork.

I mean, I don't know.

I mean we're technically the invasive species.

So like, I mean, get a girl.

Yea, yeah, munch the munch and crunch the munch.

Do you get a girl.

Gobbling down at Applebee's and they're eating a little beje and bit like, get it?

Get it?

Do you get yours?

Get yours?

You know it's all good in the neighborhood and it's your Bernie's Mountain dog.

I'm sorry.

Yeah, like you brought that over from France.

Yeah, and gave it to a coyote.

I'm not crying.

Oh yeah, the coyotes only pure breads that have been purchased.

Yeah.

Yeah, No, they adopt, don't shop.

Ye yeah, let this one pass.

My dog is like very homophobic, which is very we do.

He was a biter in like a straight household, and then we adopted him and he has resented us ever since.

He's like absolutely not okay with our gay lifestyle.

And if Brad kisses me, he comes over and barks.

Just fundamentalist.

Yeah, Japanese love those.

Dogs so bitchy.

I love it so much.

They're so cute and he's thirteen, and when he dies, I don't know how I'm going to go to like a normal dog because I've been abused by my dog for so long, And like he sleeps between me and my husband in the bed, so there's no funny business to make sure.

He sort of polices the bedroom to make sure we're not touching.

He whispers the psalms, Yeah yeah, what is scared?

Straight dog?

What is the what is the Leviticus?

He's like, I'd love it if you guys wouldn't be in this bed together, different materials.

I like to think that he really regrets biting that straight family, because he should.

Now he's down in the depths with all the loose ends.

At the loose I want to introduce the possibility that the dog just wants to be near you both.

Oh that is very sweet.

It's very clear you've.

Never you're up at eighteen percent, you've.

Never met this dog.

Man, Holy, he has been every single person I know.

I can't.

We're in the corner on a hike once and this lady was walking as she be, you know, and it looked like she was walking a cartoon character.

And I went like like they were sauce my mind.

Yeah, they're so cute and they don't want you to touch them.

Yes, so it doesn't bite your friends?

Uh what about a train See?

Who am I to tell you to get your dog trained?

I'm glad I didn't bitten.

No do it'd be accountable.

No, I love this.

Accountability is important.

Communities have to sell Frank.

Yeah, it's all good in the neighborhood.

It's all good in the neighborhoods.

You just met me.

This is our two of recording.

We are bonded for life, all experience.

I know if everybody could please say it's all good in the neighborhood, get that going, you can.

I think it's important.

No, okay, so we have gone through too different trainers.

I knew it.

Both of them mysteriously stopped responding.

One suggested we zoom sessions with her tired again because she was tired of just dealing with him.

And then at a certain point with training, they come to this point where they're like, Okay, we are going to like come up with what works for this dog rather than trying to impart our rules on him.

We're going to modify your life.

Girl, they're writing a new play book, so we don't host.

We have like certain people that can handle him.

We have completely modified our life to accommodate this.

That's that's what I was getting at.

And I would literally take a bullet for him.

I love him so much.

It was unbelievable.

And how long have you had him?

Nine years?

Oh?

Yeah?

So And in New York, it's pretty easy to like not host a dinner party.

I wasn't gonna do that shit anymore.

It's a great way to keep people away, it is.

It's great.

I don't want to see you.

Okay, I'm going to drop this breed down.

Yeah, have I got a dog for you?

Also, their bark sounds a little bit like screaming, right yeah, it's a she a scream.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's sort of like they don't have the vocal chords for barking.

They just have like but they still vocalize.

They still make noises like a whisper or no.

It's it's like a shrieking harpie o.

It's like it's like that Irish yes are you You're no, you're Scottish, not I Irish?

You're Irish?

Yeah, I'm Irish.

Foots Irish?

Is it really?

Yeah?

But people think it's British because Michael Foot was a British politician in the sixties.

But I don't know her.

Get rid of her.

I'm the new Michael Foot on the area.

Is your family from Galway?

My grandpa's from Galway and my grandpa's from last Have you been?

Yes?

Okay, So I lost my passport in Ireland and they were so fucking mean to me about it.

Oh really yeah.

I had to go get my foot to take it in my flight.

I was young.

I think I was a teenager in college or something, and they were like taking my photo and they were like, I don't know if you're gonna make your flight.

Man.

They were like, I'm not.

I can't even do the accident.

It's gonna come out Australian.

But they were like, I don't I don't know if you're gonna make it.

I don't know if I don't know if they were trying to get more money out of me or what.

But we're winking.

Were they drinking.

They did invite me over to watch a movie there.

I did go.

This time we're watching Barfly.

It's always it's a different vibe, but it's also sexy Barfly, it's in a different way.

It's just another guy that they can't remember his name either.

Fucking the part in Barfly where they're drunk walking home during.

The Someone's gotten it onto that scene right that people.

There are people that are into it, like ash for people.

Fuck people.

Fucked to Barfly.

But there's a part where they're going walking home during the day drunk and they come upon corn growing in downtown Los Angeles.

They start eating corn.

Have you seen that?

I don't remember that.

It is absolutely insane.

I must have been hooking up during that scene because I missed it.

Well, I need you to focus.

I was getting while the gatting was good, before the dog came in the room.

And that's right.

All I remember from that movie is him jumping over the bar and pulling the beers bigot over.

Putting his heat under it.

Have you ever done that?

Yes?

You used to drink a lot.

You don't drink anymore.

No, I still I used to drink a lot, and I drink a little less now, but it's still a lot.

Yeah, so I've done that move.

Yeah, it was the shower curtain and I'm like, no, it's the.

Good time the dark days.

I just have like strong boundaries with it.

I have rules, but I still drink play.

Here's some of those rules.

I don't weekdays, no weekday drinking or no.

Actually I'm already betraying my own role.

One drink per weekday, not each day, but like, I can have a drink on a weekday, but only one day of that week those five days.

I mean, if you can pull that off, yes, and I can.

I'm very self controlled.

So you're saying one drink one day a week, or you're saying just drinking on one day.

So okay, I'm so glad you follow it up because I did not articulate that problem, so thank you for asking.

It's no problem.

So I need to have one day of the work week where I can come home and be like I need a fucking drink, yeah, and decompress and have that beer martini glassifying whatever it is.

Or maybe there's a party or a gala where I want to hold a drink and have a beer.

I will do that on a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday or Friday, but not all of them.

It has to be one of those days, and then I can pick a night on the weekend where I really go out and have some fun at a.

Party, but still answer the question.

Okay, the question one drink.

No many drinks, Okay, one individual drink on a weekday, So like a Tuesday night, I'm having a drink, Okay, But on a Saturday night, baby, yeah, double one.

Listen, it's barfly.

Well.

The thing is, I'm the kind of drinker.

The reason I had to stop is because one drink was like prime the pump and here we go.

That is over See.

I get to a point where like it's a and I'm like, I don't want to be drinking anymore.

I feel like really sick.

After like three or four, I'm like, we're not going.

We're going to the bad place.

Yes, that's what I want.

I do stop.

I'm like we're getting to like a weird situation here.

And then I start thinking about, like I got shipped to do tomorrow, I'm already going to be kind of hungover if I keep going, And that's where it.

Kind of stops for me.

Yeah.

Yeah, And also like I want I go to a lot of drag shows, so I love drag art.

So I you have to drink at a drag sho it's really hard to be there's yeah, they're a female illusions and it's and even less the appearance.

I go to some real local drag where it is you know, we we bought this for five dollars on Amazon.

Uh.

But the comedy and the energy, like you got to get really get into it.

It's a crowd sport, yes for those I like to drink at drag shows, and that's how the gave bars are making their money.

That's right.

So and the drag queens are getting dollar tips.

So it's really local clubs.

When you're in New York, you're supporting, You're truly supporting.

I got to take you to the bars, Yes, when you're in New York.

I was going to say, we were in New York at a drag club and it was one that was like maybe Upper West Side.

Yes it's permanent.

Yes, yes, it's not some it's Oh my god, I know that I know this bar.

It has that long overhang thing.

It was and oh my god, I want to know so about I wish we well.

It was she was Latina and she was one of the funniest people I've ever seen in my fucking.

Was large, small think she was short and.

Kind of could have been played by but she was so funny.

She would walk up to tables and literally to stand there for a second and like like start talking like how are you tonight, and then re read read as if she knew them personally, and they would go insane.

Like she walked up.

It was like she was, you know, like you're too boring, like a boring straight couple, thanks for coming and being the boring straight couple roasted them.

There was two black lesbians sitting there and he was like, oh the trouble.

We've seen girls like ship like that and I'm like, oh my god, and these women like fell on the ground like everybody.

So she walks up to our table.

The girl we were there, the group it was when we were on the Marriagdrift and our one friend.

Haley was the kind of girl that every day came to work with a new contempo casuals, full outfit on every single day, like the.

Match mess, yes whatever, mpo casual.

As this woman is walking to our table, She's like, what's going what's going over here in the contempo casuals area, And the rest of us start screaming.

That is, if you can cut through to the heart of an inside joke as an outsider, right, that is like tantamount to like like psychic psychic ability.

Yeah, so it's gonna say, get her like a booth and a thing at the train station.

Because you're like, I assess what's going on.

I won't be that fun.

You will be that friend in.

The fucking matching tube piece.

Yeah.

Every time I'm in that situation, it's some audience like you don't like how much your husband drakes.

Gross?

I always it's not fun version.

Chris, have you been to I can give you the rules of drag shows.

Oh yeah, okay, So the rules of drag shows are, first of all, you never touch a drag queen.

If she takes your hand and puts it on her, you have violated.

It's a violation, even if she's asking you to drag horses.

What's your name?

What's your name?

So, uh, that's the first rule.

Don't ever touch a drag queck.

So you're being serious because the outfits are held together with paper clips.

Any little unwarranted touch and they're dealing with like drunk bachelorettes and like wet guys.

So like that is like the first offense.

Second, always tip, but like that is you're gonna you're gonna get shamed if you don't tip.

You'll see what happens.

Third, don't ever touch their tips because you throw tips on the floor.

So if you're even if you're trying to help her pick them up, don't.

Yeah, that is like a rule that you learn very quick.

Makes sense.

You get sort of yelled at if you touch a drag queen's tips.

They have the twinks behind the bar will come pick them up for her if you don't truly the drink twinks.

There's one Jamison at my local bar and when he's very slow, and we love that about him.

He takes forever to bring her drink, but you ven know him five dollars and he brings it very quickly.

That is how you get his attention because he's always on his fucking phone.

Yeah right, and so well then it would be like we need another round, and that's when he brings it over.

Oh is it happening again?

Yeah?

I mean I think people are really at the at their limit.

Do you need to ride my I know people are really hanging on by a threat right.

Yeah, yeah, that's where drug really does come in.

I mean, I'm not a drag queen, but we do love to see it and I will always promote the dolls.

And then I want to say the last rule.

What's the last roll of drag shows?

Someone's probably screaming it out their radio right now.

Have a sense of humor about yourself.

Oh clap, no matter what they do.

Okay, even if it's a step touch, it is the most the crazy step touch you've seen.

You got a scream and hollered everything.

We used to go to a drag bingo that was at a restaurant and so it was a normal restaurant but then over on the side, yes, and it was super fun.

We always we'd go with Bridger and Jimmy and we go every week just to support because it was like something to do that wasn't none of us drink and whatever, and it was and it was just so fun to play bingo in public and so fun and dumb.

And it's secially like on a Sunday afternoon.

Yeah it was.

Yeah, it was just like a little a fun decompression.

But the drag queen and now I can't remember her name, Unfortunately she was so great, such a charming host, and very like didn't work blue so that if the people in the restaurant had family, you know what I mean.

It wasn't like it wasn't like that.

It didn't work great.

But then in the middle would stop down and do a lip sync.

Except for there was like it was like just lip syncing walking around and they're bringing.

Like the guacamalle pastor like it's it's like they're doing this, the heata tray is going back and it's just like her.

Little you know, CD player over in the corner.

So she would just walk up to you and be like the buttons baby, but just lip syncing.

And it was so nerve racking and uncomfortable.

We'd be like, tip tip tiptop.

I love it.

I love an uncomfortable You're just so nervous.

Yeah, you're just like It reminded me of me when I was twelve, trying to get my sister to pay attention to there, like, watch me lip sync this song but in a in a full on restaurant with thirty people watching.

Yes, Wow, she was so good.

Wow and a great bingo color.

I love when you can hear them like whispering the lyrics of the songs.

The music isn't loud enough.

You can hear their breath exactly, you can hear their their mouth is a little.

Bit dry, like that's a very solid and it's also it's like that probably end up comedy too, where it's like you can start to hear your own heartbeat.

Oh yeah.

I feel that sometimes in.

Court when it's bad and you know it's bad and they know it's bad.

Yeah, Or like my witness isn't doing what I want them to do and we're not getting the respect.

It's usually pretty quiet in court, like if there aren't if there are fireworks, we're getting objections so or like if there are fireworks and I'm not aware it's going to happen, usually something has gone completely wrong and the fireworks are coming from me, but I what are the fireworks?

Usually like if there's a surprise witness, I'm teaching my witness with evidence.

I object.

You do a lot of one finger in the air.

I object objection your honor.

And I am very uh, I'm a very restrained litigator.

I think I think the personality you get when we're talking, it's much in my personal life is very different than courtroom.

Michael is very uh stoic and thoughtful.

It would be hilarious if you just like this, but in a.

Court room, object fer court if I need to, it's not it'd be fun to pepper it in.

The Jogies are really conservative.

It's likely a lot of them are probably on the golf course with you, Chris kind of vibe.

You know, it's they're wearing their.

Like class ring, you know, when people were I'm telling you it's because I I I golf better when I have nothing to talk about, so it's then I can totally focus.

I prefer going with trumpy, right people the trump that you don't want to talk, then there's no conversation.

You do those like golf tournaments.

I have fundraisers.

Yes, that is a whole cultural Yes that that is actually like a foreign country.

Right, he's very familiar with that foreign language.

That's the only time I'm confronted.

It's because that I'm no longer l a municipal golf where I'm usually golfing with older Korean men.

You know, when you're at an actual country club, it is confronting, and I'm like, oh, I don't like this at all.

Yeah.

Yeah, and then it just makes me focus more on that, and then you're just absolutely locked in.

Yeah, and then when you beat them, they're furious.

Right, it's not it's yes of course because I yeah, and then you all shower together.

I started around COVID.

Yeah, no, and then there is always a slow motion we just wrote.

But yeah, there's locker bro I'm really missing out now I'm wondering.

I'm like, okay, yeah, you've played this wrong.

I really have.

I could have absolutely been like a senator's secret paramore.

You know.

I did not want to golf my whole life, and now you happened during Now.

You're just it happened during COVID.

But they do say it's for straight meen to like go for walks together because I won't.

There is yeah, nineteen eighties stigmas with I usually am golfing with like skateboarders, and the crossover now is everything.

But what what kind of skateboards did you do?

Longboard or something?

No, that's not that they should call it something else.

It's like a like a.

What are we going to call?

Yeah, something else?

Just a different There needs to be a new word.

Yeah, Ron John surf shop, yes, yes, yes, school street surfer yeah yeah something street yeah.

Yeah, but no I would I would never ah, but I'm in.

I'm sure they're very fun.

Yeah, a lot of course strength that's needed.

They're trying to get me to do a I made fun of pilates on TikTok because I was like, that's I accidentally went to a pilates class at Equinox, and uh, it was the worst experience in my life.

I don't know what.

It was actually torture.

And I've done some extreme you know, sort of like exercise, racist stuff like that, and plates was actually like the most my body.

I truly thought I needed to go to a doctor because my whole body was shaking.

I was like, this is some sort of shock.

It finds all your weak points and engages them at the same time.

And so one of these pilate's companies reached out to me and they were like, we want to sponsor you.

You were going to send you to a class and you're going to make a video.

We're going to pay a bucket of money.

And I was like, I'm fucking doing it.

I need it, and I'll do it.

I'll do it again and you got better at it because I took no I am also under no circumstances am I better at it?

I felt like I'm just promoting it now just doing it wrong.

On the difference is I'm getting paid to go?

Yeah, I noticed.

I just I appeared to be doing the same thing as everyone else.

But I was using you know, my back muscles instead of the back of my leg oh whatever, you know, like I was just holding it wrong.

Yeah, I be coming from the core, but you're using like the Oh first we saw Kevity and Alwa saw Horse.

It's it's a bizarre place, but I do appreciate it.

Giant.

Sorry, yeah, well it wouldn't have fit in in the apartment.

It was white.

Horse is like a British bar, you know, like that the King's arms.

That felt like, oh, I wonder if it has something to do with Halloween.

But that was so specially white.

It was like a white statue of a horse.

But then it was jammed under the awning of a.

Just like someone's house.

They're just putting something out, And it wasn't like facing the way where it was sort of like you know how the cops hide and then pull you over.

You can't see it until you've almost passed it.

Yeah, so it really it did come out of nowhere.

Yeah, that was entrapment.

That was that was just yeah, I think over.

On horseback that would that is actually so embarrassing.

Yeah, it's the worst to be drawn and or quartered.

Oh man, I think that's what it helped me out.

No, yes, no, no, you're in.

I will not count you.

Jesus.

There isn't those stretch those stretch torture devices.

Right, Yeah, we're still talking about Chambers.

Okay, what neighborhood is this?

Now?

This is like what would we call this?

Well, we're heading toward the Disney lot, okay, and that's usually how people measure things.

So it's over by Disney.

Is the neighborhood?

So fey, this is I think bourbon proper okay, Okay, essentially gorgeous, very suburban.

Yeah, beautiful homes.

Yeah, there are parts of the city you can be like where am I right now?

May in a university district in the Midwest, Like that's why they every time?

Every time?

Every time?

And is it every day or is it just on Wednesdays?

It's a good time for call.

I think it's Wednesdays.

But my sister and Adrian were down for the recording last night and then they left this morning.

So I'm sure she's like, here, here's what we did on the plane or whatever, and then she's gonna say something nice about it didn't matter that your voice sounded like that, because you're great.

It's something because last night I was like, I'm so tired that I might die, so thanks so much for being here, everybody.

This might be my last night on her.

My favorite murder is this one right now.

I drop fucking dead on stage.

I murdered myself with show business.

That's a diva down right there.

We used to say diepa down about George Santos, and now we say diva ascension because she's out.

She's back in these streets.

She's been sprung Georgia.

She did sprung.

I haven't heard someone say sprung in a minute.

Please start using it.

Happy.

I love teaching anytime I go to a foreign country and I'm like chatting with the locals, like I was in South America a couple of months ago, and I was telling I had like a guide on a safari kind of thing, and I was I love to teach people like the wrong slang.

Yeah, so he was.

He was teaching me some slang of like Spanish, like what people are, what people say?

And I don't ask me to I don't remember.

It's probably really dirty.

But I told him that whatever in America is saying is gnarley.

So I just love the idea of like this guy giving tours in.

South America being like, look at this gnarly bird man.

The tourists are like, what the fuck is he saying?

I love that.

You just want them to sound like, what's big right now?

You know, moon Doggie, that's huge, everyone loves.

I thought you're gonna air mix a lot lyrics.

Yeah, that's good too.

Yeah, you know who let the dogs out around?

Get back?

Twenty year old Cisco is the guy.

Yeah, convince him.

Convince Cisco.

So, Michael, as we wrap, because we've been talking for two hours and I can't do it anymore physically physically.

I love all my interviews ending this way.

I honestly can't do it.

I can't do this anyway.

But will you we we know that the podcast we do.

You want to plug anything else?

You want to plug your TikTok to you talk about important my name.

Is Michael Foot.

On the end, I h you can catch me in court.

You can hire me as your lawyer if you need help.

I My roster's filling up pretty quickly.

But the pod is every Thursday starting November thirteenth.

Brief Recess on exactly right.

I'm so excited.

We're I think we're the first show out of New York, right or in the iHeart studio.

Michelle Butcho's show, the show was out of New York, but first any iHeart studios.

Okay, we're in the iHeart studios and we've got the same studios Lost Culture relestas.

So I sit in like Bowen's chair, I think, and I've never met those guys, but it's just nice to be on how the ground, you know.

Yeah, we're so excited that you are on the network and you're just you're just one of us, and we're so happy.

To have you.

I'm having a lot of them.

We're going to get Ana Delviya on the show.

We're going to talk about her lawsuit.

We're going to talk to Walter Masterson about like protesting.

I got a Congressman Garcia I was coming on the pilot.

That's going to be pretty wild incredible.

I did.

I forgot to.

Actually, this is a little for the insiders on exactly right.

We asked him whose favorite drag queenes and we found her online and we venmoted her one hundred dollars in his.

Knee and class.

I really forgot.

I forgot to do this.

But I wanted to come up with like a drag name for him, and but we ran out of time.

He only we only have like senators and congressmen only give you like a certain amount of time on a show.

Yeah, so we did kind of have to.

Is there a formula where you plug in like for dragon names.

No, it's usually like a play on words like like we were thinking.

We were trying to think of like what do like congress people do.

I guess they like create laws, so like you would try and make something around that, like legislation, like would.

Be legus s l a y s slation or like or like yeah, thanks guys.

Like she's a writer like legy slation or something.

I like leg leggy Slation's awesome, pass your bills something like this, something something stupid.

I don't know.

He'll probably never talk to me again after years, but that's okay.

I got my interview.

Yeah, hit me up on the internet.

I'll respond to your dms.

I'm not scared.

He'll do it immediately.

It's so satisfying.

People send me like those snapchat photos Sometimes that's interesting.

Really Yeah, like through like Instagram or TikTok, the offering work or playing usually well, I guess some of it could be described as work, right right.

It depends you know how much efforts going into it.

I guess yeah, yeah, send me messages.

I'm not scared.

I might.

I don't know what I've I've been thinking like this has been a real journey for I thought about it to Griffith Park and he came back a changed man.

I know what if what if one of my errand balls hit someone?

I don't know what it's gonna be, but I may need a lawyer.

I was thinking about it earlier.

I love it.

I'll come to your defense.

I love that.

Thank you.

If everyone I beat if, I will go to New York.

There's something really fun about like going down swinging with someone, even if they're totally toast, like it is no matter what you do.

Yeah, yeah, I'm fighting for it, and like we're gonna lose like the I'll be right there with you.

It's so nice.

We've had our share of legal peril, and I it's very fun to find myself in that situation.

And I try to scare our own lawyers and they think I'm going to do anything.

Yes, and I push everybody, push to do more than they want to do because I'm like, fine, I'll just move and they're like, you can't, you can't do that.

I'm like, no, I'm going to.

The worst thing you can do is tell me not to do something.

Yes, that is, I will touch that stove, that wet pain.

I will absolutely do full Paul mostoveh so much.

But it does make other people really there thinking of like, oh, well, you couldn't do that, so give up now.

So yes, and well, and they'll negotiate against their own ethical boundaries.

Yes, Yes, I have one friend.

I love him so much.

As therapist told him, he needs to go ask for a discount to like get out of his shell.

Oh at like a store, even if you don't deserve it, just ask for a discount this week.

Go ask someone for a discount.

It's a great idea.

And now every time I'm with him, I do it just to absolutely make him uncomfortable because he's so uncomfortable.

And don't even give a reason.

No, no, can a discount on account of this lamp?

No something, I don't know, they'll ever know, they'll never know that, you'll.

Keep it, you know what?

And per hippa, do not ask.

That's right?

Can I have a discount?

You know?

I need it.

Discounts everywhere I go.

Well, this is wonderful.

Thanks for having me, Thank you for being here, and congrats on the new gig and uh and for the important work you do.

Thank you.

Do you guys have like adult where like I'm three, We say, yeah, the one word that.

We remember from your role in this is at the very end, and you say, Hong Kong.

Okay, all right, you've been listen.

Do you need a ride?

D y n a R Hog Kong?

Perfect?

This has been an exactly right production.

Our senior producer is Analise Nelson.

Mixed by Edson Choy.

Our talent booker is Patrick Cootner.

Theme song by Karen Kilgarrett.

Artwork by Chris Fairbanks.

Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at dinar podcast.

That's d y nar Podcast for.

More information, go to exactly rightmedia dot com.

Thank you, Oh, you're welcome.