You're listening to a Muma Mia podcast.

Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters that this podcast is recorded on.

We pay our respects to elders past, present and emerging, and feel privileged to continue the sharing of birth stories and knowledge that has been a fundamental part of Indigenous culture.

Hello, it's Jesse Stevens here and we have curated you a very special playlist with even more birth stories you probably haven't heard.

With unmissible episodes from the Delivery Room podcast.

Your playlist will be filled with stories of women who had so many different experiences of birth.

If you love birth stories, this playlist.

Is for you.

And if you're looking for more to listen to, we are curating your summer listening across our network.

From pop culture to beauty to interviews.

There is something for everyone.

Find a link in the show notes.

Just a heads up, This podcast retells personal experiences of birth.

Talk to your doctor to decide what birthing plan is right for you.

Prue Thomas was setting up for a function at work when she felt a sharp pain in her stomach, a really sharp pain.

They sent me home early from my shift because I had to sew back went home, and actually it was when I got home, I was like, oh my god, my tummy's hurting like it was swollen.

Prue was nineteen.

She was working in hospitality and she'd suffered from irritable bow syndrome for a while, so she thought that her saw tummy was down to one of two things, a twisted bow or a really bad flare up of ibs.

My stomach started to just get swollen and expand.

And then something happened.

And we're sitting in the emergency.

The doctor comes over and just presses on my stomach.

Did it hurt when he pressed on your stone?

No, it wasn't like, you know, really tough, like there was pressure, nothing that was excruciating.

And yeah, pressed on my stomach and pressed lower down and I was like, oh my god.

And he was like, what happened?

And I went, I think I've just got my pants.

Yeah, you guessed it.

At nineteen, Prue was having a baby and she didn't even realize.

She was pregnant.

From Mama Mia.

You're listening to the Delivery Room, a podcast where we speak to eight different women on what actually happened during childbirth.

And my name is Jesse Stevens.

On this episode, we're talking about surprise births.

Yes, those people who go to the toilet and a baby pops out, or in Prue's case, had a pain in the stomach which resulted in a surprise baby daughter.

Can you tell me about the day that you started to have a weird tummy ache that kind of stopped you in your tracks?

Well, I was at work, yep.

I worked in hospitality and was setting up a function and it was early morning and I actually started to get really bad lower back pain right, and was like, oh, what is this.

I've done something.

I've hurt my back moving furniture.

And it started from there.

And how old were you when you're working at this hospitality job.

Nineteen, so you're nineteen.

You've got a bit of a solo back, which happens when you're moving furniture or are you moving stuff all around the place.

When did it start to get more into your tummy?

They sent me home early from my shift because I had to sew back.

Went home, and actually it was when I got home I was like, oh my god, my tummy's hurting like it was swollen.

So I had no stomach as a pregnant person, and yeah, my stomach started to just get swollen and expand, like to a point where I can see people that are nine months pregnant now and I go, I have that's exactly what my tummy looked like.

But that was it.

And I was at home with my sister and I was like, I can't supposed to play netball.

I said, I can't play netball at my backs really saw, I mean so much pain, look at my stomach.

My sister goes, oh, oh, my cod mom and their mum went call an ambulance.

Was it anything like period pain?

It was worse, right.

It started off like that lower back pain that you get with periods and so on.

But then it just got worse and worse.

And I was like, oh my god, this is not normal.

And I had IBS when I was younger, Yeah, and so I thought it was something to do with that, because my stomach had just swollen all of a sudden.

And so that's why my mom said to my sister, call an ambulance.

She's got to go to the hospital.

So when you were in the ambulance on your way and you're in pretty excruciating pain, did you think they were going to look at you and go, all right, this is an IBS flare.

Yeah, like, here's some medicine.

Yep.

I thought it was a twisted bow.

Like.

I was like, oh my god, this something's gone wrong.

The whole time I was thinking that, and so the ambulance drivers were saying they were like, okay, cool, it's something to do with your bows.

And you arrive at the hospital and they want to take a little bit of a look.

What do they do in terms of investigating.

Going too emergency?

So by that time my mum was there yep, And we're sitting in an emergency and the doctor comes over and just presses on my stomach.

Did it hurt when he pressed on your stomach?

No, it wasn't like, you know, really tough, like there was pressure, nothing that was excruciating.

And yeah, pressed on my stomach and pressed low way down, and I was like, oh my god.

And he was like what happened?

And I went I think I've just got my pants and he was like, oh, I just disappeared for a bit.

Was there any relief when you wet your pants?

Not really.

I was more like just going, oh god, how totally.

I was like, oh, my god, embarrassing and then I was like, oh, that's not normal.

And then he rolled back in a heart monitor and put that over my stomach and were like, so that wasn't you wetting your pants, that was your water breaking and you're actually in labor.

What went through your head in that moment?

She panic?

Yeah, like I said, oh my god, am I home?

What what do you mean?

And my mum's going what she can't be?

And I was like, how is how how I've not been pregnant?

No?

And because I had my periods the whole way through?

Can you describe that?

Because I've heard this before with people who have these surprise births every month.

Were you're getting your period?

Yeah?

Probably not as heavy ye as what they were, but they were coming, and like not something to make you go.

Oh, I haven't had my period at nine months?

Yeah, maybe I should go and have a test or maybe nothing to that extent.

And I was like, that doesn't make senes.

And how about I see a woman at seven, eight, nine months pregnant and you couldn't miss it when you were at those month's leaning up.

I know that you said in those final hours you were like, hang on, what's happened to my stomach.

But was there any sign, any weight gain, any bloating.

There was, but not to the point where you see a six seven months pregnant lady.

It was just a bit of a belly.

Yeah, and I, you know, finished high school, being nonschoolies felt you know, it's just wait because I'd been out partying.

Yeah, you know, nothing to the point of there's an actual live human growing.

About a baby kicking.

Did you ever have that?

No, there was nothing to that.

Like so you know how you see women that go oh, look and the leg's going nothing, nothing like that.

But like I remember like lying on the lounge one night with my sister and I was going, look like I can move, I can move this thing, and like my sister going, oh, that's gross your bows.

And I was like, this has gotten out of hand, totally was And how about morning sickness?

No morning sickness.

So looking back, was.

There anything when you're in that state of shock, are you even able to go back and go, oh maybe that was a sign or.

The Only thing that really sticks out is for my nineteenth birthday, I had all my friends come over and we were going to a nightclub and we were having cake and everything before at home before we went out, and my sister said something or one of my friends said something, and I got really emotional, right, and that was like out of Cara.

Yeah, Like I was like, why am my office on?

Like really crying about something really silly that happened, but like to the point where I had to like, oh my god, and went upstairs to my room and had to be cry and then came back down and went out with all my friends.

That's so interesting.

But that's the only thing, Like, looking back, I got, oh, yeah, that probably makes sense.

Were you worried at nineteen that your mum or your dad would be mad at you?

Was that a factor?

It went through my mind, But not to the point of them thinking less of me or disowning me or anything like that.

They're very, very supportive, and they were very supportive in all those early stages.

So did you have a sense when you're told you're in labor, you're nineteen, you have not mentally prepared for this, Let alone, don't even get to the baby labor.

You haven't prepared for that.

Did you just feel so trapped in that moment of just like, how am I going to get this out of me.

Yeah, I had no idea.

The only thing that was quite comforting about was obviously my mum was there, and there was a lovely midwife, like lovely who just made everything okay.

I'm not a big panicker anyway, just go okay whatever.

But I think you know, it went out that you did know press relief, so everyone was just really calm.

I didn't know what I was doing.

I think that helped that everyone was just there going, it's okay, you know, this is what you've got to do, and explained it all.

And there was no drugs.

It was just the little green whistle that I had.

And how were you in labor then?

So you started feeling that in the morning during your shift?

When did you actually give.

Birth to the baby?

Two twenty oh that's quick.

Yeah, So obviously they said to me afterwards that your labor started with that pain, and that would have been maybe eight o'clock in the morning, seven or eight o'clock in the morning, and then went home at lunchtime ish, because I remember we had to play netball at eleven o'clock or something, and so it was just before that and I was like, I can't go to netball to my sister, so yeah, and then taken to the hospital and I had her at too, So it was really quite quick two hours if that.

As you say, you had the whistle, but was the pain pretty much can't even handle it towards the end because you've not had an epidural or anything like that.

Nothing.

No, it just felt like you just need to push, like everything was just pushing down.

I wasn't in any pain, and even like you know, pushing her out was painful, But all I remember doing is just swearing a lot, going oh oh oh, and that was it.

Can you talk me through what that does to your head in terms of the level of shock, Because your baby girl comes out, that must have been beautiful and exciting, but this also is not how you thought your day was going.

No, in terms of shock, what are the next few hours?

Like, how do you get your head around what's happened?

It was just a lot of staring at her in a non creepy way, but just going oh god, oh my god, that just happened.

It was shock, but it wasn't a terrible shock.

It was just like, oh God, this has happened, and now I have to think about what I'm going to do what it's my life going to be?

Like?

Am I going to keep her?

So there was all that kind of talk with you know, my mom and my dad at that point, he'd come in, so both my parents were there when I had her, So that was quite nice they were both there.

But yeah, it was just that, right, okay, this is happening.

Were you living at home at the time.

Yes, so I imagine there wasn't a cot handy nothing.

Was it you that went, okay, we've got to set this up.

Or was it your parents that went we know what step comes next?

It was my ear, It was my parents.

So my mom and my dad really just sort of stepped it up and contacted everyone.

And it's sort of live in the Eastern suburbs and so it sort of spread like wildfire that I just had a baby.

So all my friends were playing netball at the same time as my sister and you know, had sort of said, oh, pres gone to the hospital.

Something's happened.

And Mom called my sister and told her and she came up and then had said to my girlfriends, this is what's happened.

So they all came up to the hospital and they got told at the hospital from my mom who went out and said, oh, you're all aunties.

So they had no idea, and so they all came in and were just in shock too.

Were they excited?

They were.

I think they were more in shockgame.

We just thought you didn't want to play netball.

And then it just sort of spread that they told their parents and everyone just sort of was like, right, we know she's got nothing because it's you know, no one new.

So it was just people all banded together and I got a bassinette.

Everyone went out and bought baby clothes everything.

So it was just a nice feeling to know that, you know, the group of people that I've grown up with all banded together and their parents and set it all up.

So I went home.

Probably I stayed in the hospital longer than you because obviously I was still in shock and they needed to know teach me everything.

So no, like I had done none of the prenatal classes, so I had to go to all the classes postnatal, like how to change a happy, how to breastfeed, how to you know, bar the baby?

How did all this stuff?

Oh my goodness.

So yeah, staying longer than expected, probably five days, and then went home to what was a set up nursery?

Were you someone who, as a teenager had thought much about having kids?

No?

Right, how about in terms of if you saw a baby or whatever, were you maternal or were you kind of indifferent?

I wasn't maternal.

That's an awful thing to say.

I think most women feel like that.

I'm not anyone that thought I would not that I would never have children.

But I was never thinking, right, this is my plan.

I'm going to meet to the man in my dreams, and you know, we're gonna fall pregnant and have millions of babies and blah blah nah.

Not a fairy tale kind of person.

But it just happened.

I guess the other question from that story is what is going on with the father?

Are you sitting there going what do I need to tell him?

What was that like?

Thinking about that conversation?

It was awkward.

Yeah, it was like weird because I was like, hey, didn't know that I was pregnant.

He wasn't a person I decided to have a child, you know, And it was just like, how does this happen?

And then I was like, oh, I do have to say something.

Yeah, let's just leave it.

It was very much or do I really I don't know, and then you know, it was my mum and you know, everyone sort of saying, well, he needs to know when his parents need to know that their grandparents, all that kind of stuff, and then the conversation was just I've got had a baby and it's yours and it was not a nice conversation.

It was a didn't really believe it, and so that ended any contact.

So it was father, you and the baby.

Yep.

What did you name the baby?

Megan?

And when did you decide I can do this straight away when you saw her?

Yep?

Can you describe what that felt like, the moment that you're staring into this face going I don't know where you came from, but is there that initial connection?

Yeah?

Definitely.

It was a bit like, oh gosh, how do I hold a baby?

Yes, after you just had it and you're still, you know, having someone fix up your blows, but yeah, just staring at her, I thought, Okay, I can do this.

I can this is my new life challenge.

And the next few months you're obviously the first in your group of friends to have a baby.

Yeah, I would imagine even with your sister and stuff that wasn't you know, on the cards yet.

Yeah.

Do you look back on those months as predominantly challenging or predominantly amazing.

Or both a bit of both, Because it was also at a time where weird or just finished school.

It was all about going out on the weekends, and I wasn't able to do that.

So in that sense it was challenging, but it was I don't want to say the word that I was sad or depressed about it.

I was just like, Okay, that's fine, I can't do that stuff.

But then I would always go, well, you know what, I've actually, you know, now, got this little human that's relying on me.

So when you weigh it up, well, let me go out and get drunk or stay at home with a little human that, yeah, that's right, that you can just sort of, you know, snuggle with and just stare at and and the getting up three or four times during the night.

You just sort of go, okay, well, I might've been getting home at this time anyway.

So from those friends and from the community you were saying that the word kind of spread like wildfire.

At any point, did you feel judged by people?

Yeah, definitely, were there comments or Yeah, there were comments.

There were comments from friends that were like, she's just ruined a life.

And how did you respond to that kind of stuff.

I still respond to that stuff to this day.

You know, I still have that in the back of my mind that I'm going to prove that you can actually do this, and I have.

I've had a great career and I've still got a great career.

I've got a great daughter who's turned out to be fantastic.

And some of these people that made these comments are still in that insular world of where they are and they haven't changed a lot.

And I've you know, traveled the world with my daughter M.

So it's definitely been comments.

And I know, like people probably you know, said way much more that I didn't hear about.

But yeah, there was some comments that I was like, you know what, I'll prove you wrong.

M.

Sometimes you need that can start a little fire in your back.

Yeah, and it did, because I thought, no, I'm not going to let having a child when you didn't know ruin your career.

You can still have a career, and you know, it might just take a little bit longer to get to the point where you need it to get to and it was hard, like when she was younger, trying to still work, but I managed it.

Yeah.

And how old is your daughter now?

She's twenty one?

She turns twenty two in June.

Can she believe that at nineteen you were caring.

For a baby?

No?

Do you look at her and just go, oh, my goodness, I go, thank goodness, you don't have a child.

Yeah.

And as you were bringing her up, especially in those early years, were your parents instrumental and sort of helping out with ay around?

Yeah?

Yeah, they were great.

So both my parents, both my sisters, my extended family, and my meeting just fantastic.

So my parents are divorced, and I think by me having Meg it made them have a relationship still, like even as we were one.

Then maybe they wouldn't have if I didn't have Meg.

It's sort of kept us close.

We have always been a close family, but it's definitely brought everyone closer together.

And it's babies do that.

Yeah, and everyone can agree that babies are great.

Yes, that's exactly right.

It was lovely because it was, you know, a surprise.

Everyone had to adjust.

It wasn't just me that had to adjust.

I've you know, both my mum and dad and my sisters, and we all had to adjust to having just now this, you know, precious little baby.

And yeah, oh that is just the most incredible story.

Finally, I wanted to ask, what did that experience teach you about birth?

Because there are people who wouldn't believe that that can even happen, that when they fall pregnant, it's all about vitamins and doctor's appointments and don't do this and don't do that, and it's such a miracle a story like that.

What did your experience that young teach you about birth?

It's a hard one because I didn't know, like you know, there was nothing to know prior.

So you know, even my friends now that have all had babies or you know, still pregnant, going I can't do this and I can't do that.

Oh you can.

You just got to look at it in a different way.

And you know, they actually use me as a well look what happened with Crew and Meg if she could do it.

Yeah, so it is quite okay.

But look, I think every birthing story is very different, and every woman's very different, and regardless of how much you want to say, this is what you need to do, and this is how you've got to follow and you can't have this and you've got to make sure you do X, Y and Z.

That might be different to another another woman, And I think that's what I tell people.

There was nothing before I went to the hospital.

There was nothing I can say this is how I lived my life beforehand, because how I lived my life beforehand was a nineteen year old who was pregnant, who liked going down to the pub and going out.

So I don't have anything up until that point.

But all I can say is that the pain you feel during labor, as soon as you see a baby, you'd sort of forget about it.

And yes, you know you had pain, but you produced a little baby out of it, and you sort of go it doesn't matter.

Everything else is forgotten because now you've got someone that you've got to look after for the rest of your life.

It's so incredible, and I think that that's a credit to you to be able to adapt to a circumstance that is that out of your control.

But you're exactly right.

I mean, to forge your career, that's a hurdle, but you can still do it.

Yeah, And maybe it doesn't look like the path that someone else followed, but you get to do it with Meg.

Yeah, and that's fun.

That's exactly right, and we do have lots of fun.

Bet, thank you so much for joining.

You're welcome next time.

On the delivery room, we had two obstetricians, two anaesthetists, I think, four midwives, two neonatologists, two nick you nurses, then towards people.

I mean it was packed, but it felt like a really warm environment.

Yeah, that's Louisa and she had a very very rare birth.

Don't want to miss an episode.

Make sure you're following the Delivery Room wherever you get your podcasts.

This episode was produced by Ga Moylan and our executive producer is Eliza Ratliffe.

I'm Jesse Stevens and I'll see you on the Muma Mea app.