It's if I am sixty and you're listening to the Conway Show on demand on the iHeart Radio app.

The stories that I tell about, you know, my grandmother, my mom, it's not dirty laundry.

I mean there are some, you know, everyone's got dirty laundry.

But the story I tell about my grandmother, you know, coming down nude to fish out her bottle of gin behind the fridge, I think that's an amusing story.

No, no, are are you kidding me?

I just are you joking?

You gotta be kidding me?

Confused, I apologize, Oh my god.

I got me right out of my chair.

How dare you?

Maggie?

Please the window please?

I apologize for this one.

No, it's all right, No, Anne, Marie, Okay, it's my MEMI me, me, me, Yeah, they used to come down nude.

Well, let me tell you.

First of all, my dad's mom, Maggie, who we call her, She would come down three or four times a night, but she would have a nightown on slippers, on a robe, on a shower cap on right, and she would check on us to make sure that we weren't too hot or too cold, or you would she shut the window if it was too hot or too cold whatever.

Nurturing, very very nurturing.

Cooked every day, breakfast, lunch, and dinner, three meals a day.

Very rarely went out, and we did.

We went to Arby's where she would steal from the buffet, the salad bar.

Maggie would do that.

Yeah, and the downfall.

She grew up during the Great Depression, and she would steal carrots to put on her beef sandwich.

And she would want me to be the heavy.

Hey, go give me some carrots.

I'm like, I think you gotta pay for that, because no, no, just go ahead.

You're like ten, They're not going to do anything to you, man.

So I put in my napkin, I bring them back.

I'm like, here here they are.

Put eat them real quick, take those fake teeth out and chomp these things down.

But so she would come down, you know, three four times a night to check on us when we stayed with her.

Conversely, my mom's mom, she lived in a house.

It was big, but wasn't huge, and we had six kids, so some of us had to sleep in the living room.

But you know, when you're on vacation and it's fun right now, if somebody says you got to sleep in the living room and go you have it nuts.

I'd rather stay in a motel six in a living room.

And but that when you're kids, you need the TV's on, you popcorn and you know, you build a fort or whatever, you just go crazy.

So around two thirty in the morning, my grandmother comes down, totally nude night, not a stitch of clothing, right, comes down, reaches behind the refrigerator, takes a big bottle of Seagrim's gin.

I remember that Seagrim's bottle at frosted bottle, and chouldgug a gug glug, like four or five major gulps.

Right, you can almost hear right pounding it.

And as she walked up the stairs, with every stair there was an interesting and unique little fart that came out right, so it was.

And as she got to the top of the stairs, the top of the landing, it went and my brother goes, George, twenty eight stairs and twenty eight farts.

Man never missed a stair, right, And I so telling that story.

That's not airing dirty Lowndie.

That's just an amusing story about my grandmother.

And she'd be the first one to say that's true.

Story, and and she thought it was funny.

Great sense of humor.

My mom's mom had a great sense of humor.

Yeah, and my dad's bomb had a great sense of humor too, And like my grandfather did too.

But but he didn't really sort of know it.

He was funny because.

He was just he wasn't trying to be funny.

He just right he delivered.

He just like did dumb things, like he was the first guy in his block to get a doorbell.

Right, They like my dad, you know, made some money and send him.

I think it was three dollars to buy a doorbell from Sears, and it was another two dollars for them to come out and hook it up.

He's like, screw that, I'll hook it up.

So he hooks up the doorbell.

He you know, drills the hole, wires it and everything.

But he crossed the wires so it rang all day long just and as soon did it stop, I'll get it.

That's a chee story.

Plus I gave him when I for his like his birthday, I gave him a cuckoo clock.

There's a cheap thing.

I think it's like twelve bucks that I bought near Builders Imporium.

An old store, and I gave him a cuckoo clock, and he couldn't stand it, right, because that bird came out every fifteen minutes.

The chimes would go, the bird would come out every fifteen minutes.

So instead of shutting it off, he literally took scotch tape and taped over the bird's door.

Right, So instead of the bird coming out, cuckoo, cuckoo, you just hear this, this bird hitting this door.

And I still have that clock and the tape is still over the door.

Isn't that crazy a little bit?

Yeah, But he was funny in that way.

He didn't really quite know it, but he was hysterical, very funny.

Man.

You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on demand from kf I am six forty on.

To bet Crozier against Mark Thompson, and we'll play first one to five wins.

Okay, and I'm gonna ask steph fuh some fairly simple football questions and you have to tell me whether you think he's going to know the answer.

Oh, okay, okay, you ready don't answer yet, Stephush, wait till the wait till the guys can respond.

Okay, So Crozier and then Thompson.

Okay, all right, Tom, Steph Fosh, Tom Brady probably known as the best easily the best quarterback, maybe the best player in football, maybe even in sports.

Right?

What number did he wear on on his jersey?

Right?

Okay, let's look at it.

Wait, so am I gonna answer the answer to choose?

No?

They got to choose, all right, Krozer will whether you're gonna be yeah, Krozer, Will he know that?

No?

All you say, no Thompson, No, no way, no, okay, Steph Fush.

What number did he wear?

Twenty seven?

Oh?

You both got it right, both score a point?

Number twelve I think was the answer, right, twelve?

There you go, yeah, twelve, Okay, all right.

How many men on the field when the offense is on the field?

All right, Steph Fush?

How many men on the field when the offense is on the field?

Krozier, Will he get this right?

Oh?

No, no, Thompson, no way, no way.

Wow.

That might be worth some extra credit, all right, Stefush?

How many how many people on the field on the offense?

On the offense, Yeah, the offense, because it'll be different than the defense.

Hey hey hey hey, no leading the witness Oh.

Yeah, because he knows how many.

On defense, I'm gonna go with nine nine so close?

All right, close?

Good guess.

Actually yeah, the actual retail price is eleven, very close.

All right, all right, we're just gonna keep saying no, okay, I'm waiting for a yes question.

How much?

How much is a safety worth?

All right?

If the team gets a safe, that's good, how much is that worth?

Kayla?

But you're asking me no, oh, yeah he has.

This, he has that's not believe in him.

But don't tell him.

Oh I won't.

I don't know, all right, I'm just trying to put me up.

Okay, all right, Crozier, will you know how much is safety is worth?

No?

No, all right, Thompson, this is closer, but I say no as well.

All right, No, a safety?

How much?

How many points is that worth?

I'm gonna say three?

Oh, so close?

You will said too?

A horse hues, hand grenades and safeties?

So close?

All right?

We continue here.

All The next one is, jeez, I don't even know how to ask this.

What kind of surface do they play on if it's not artificial turf?

Over time?

What kind of surface do they play on if it's not artificial turf.

All right, do you think you'll get this one?

Cross?

I think you will, all right, Crozers, Yes, I agree you'll get it.

Okay, what surface do they play if it's not artificial turf?

I just say grass?

Oh god, Okay, that was too long a pause for me to feel good.

Otherwise gonna say like park would.

All right, what I'm man, I'm trying to think of some other ones that we could tackle here.

Okay, here's here's a good one.

Jet sweep left?

Who was involved?

Okay?

Sorry for the fellas there.

Okay, here's one.

How much of the touchdown worth?

Not a point after touchdown, just an absolute and actual touchdown worth?

Okay, all right, Croach.

I'm gonna I'll go on a I'll go on a leaf here.

I'll say no he does not, no, okay Thompson, Yeah, no, no, no he does not?

Really?

Wow?

Okay, how much did the touchdown worth?

That's right?

I meant to say yes, whoa?

I realized the sin as I said.

I I meant to say yes.

All right.

All right, you guys are tied three to three.

Crozier Andmson tide.

All right, where do the the Broncos call home?

Okay?

Where do the Broncos call home?

Crows?

He's got it, he's got it, all right, he's gonna get yes, Thompson, hold on, well, this is my chance maybe to go ahead.

That's motivating me on this a bit.

I'm gonna say.

I'm gonna say he doesn't know it, okay, all right?

Where do the Broncos call home?

I'm pretty sure it's Denver?

Yes?

All right, so because because belly oh he talka.

Okay, all right, So it's right now, it's four to three Kroziers winning.

Here's another one.

How many professional football teams are there in the state of Ohio?

All right?

How many professional football teams in the state of Ohio?

NFL teams approach oh I'll give it to them, yes, okay, all right, Thompson, No, no, okay?

How many?

How many professional football teams in the state of Ohio?

I'm gonna say two, that's right, crowds with that five to three?

Wow?

Freddy?

Can you can you bang out the two names of the teams in Ohio?

Uh?

No?

Can wait?

Wait?

Wait?

Wait?

Can can you get one of them?

Only?

The only thing I know from Ohio is the is the buck Eyes?

Wow?

Wait?

All right?

You think about this.

The buck Eyes are in Ohio.

That's a college team.

Okay, but what what there's two teams in the NFL they play in Ohio.

I'm stumped.

Wow, can I name one?

I know one?

Well, no, let's give you the Browns, all right, Cleveland Browns.

That's there's another team that plays in Ohio.

Just name a city.

Uh, I have no clue, no clue.

Oh, that was kind of a trick question.

Well, I don't know if it's a trick question.

I mean it should be.

It should be one that name a city in Ohio that rolls off the tongue.

Yeah, Columbus, No Sugar and falls Bowling Green Toledo, Now, Akron, no idea?

You get You really got to get out more.

I just don't know.

All right.

You liked listening to sports radio.

You probably don't know, Okay, obviously you're a true sport buddy.

That's great man, that's a good guy.

We got to get you to do the sports report every night.

Oh my god, that would be that would be great.

That's a great idea.

It's the Seattle some thing versus Vegas some things.

And it was back to you and it was four and three.

Great, that's great, Steph, you're a real sport man and you're not even sweating.

That's that's unbelievable.

What is cool as the center seat of a cucumber.

In there, you're listening to Tim Conway Junior on demand from kf.

I A M six forty.

It is the Conway Show.

Mark Thompson is here, and Mark mentioned a concert that he went to.

He's fighting everybody.

And but there's I guess a concert etiquette.

Yeah, what is the concert etiquette?

I'm standing up and stuff.

I would think of a concert.

You're allowed to stand up if you feel the Yeah, that's how you should be doing concert.

You're there for the groove.

That's right, that's a good.

Let's find out.

Whether up close or in the nosebleeds.

Concertgoers are confronting a bitter battle over whether this sit or stand while seeing their favorite acts.

And while some have a clear view.

If you're at a Waxy Boys concert doing not sit.

Down, others won't stand for it.

If you have a seat, why are you standing, Just sit down and enjoy the music.

Online, audiences posting their frustration with fellow fans blocking the show.

Some encounters even getting physical.

Let's you right, Yeah, yeah I didn't.

I didn't actually get into it with the guy.

I mean I was right up in his face because he was right up in you know, he started it.

Some encounters even getting physical, like in this scuffle in April, where one unidentified woman can be seen pulling someone's ponytail, then appears to gesture for her to sit down.

Now, some artists are taking a stance, though even they are split.

Country star Vince Gill, who now performs with The Eagles doing shows at the Sphere in Las Vegas later this week, recently defended those who choose to sit, suggesting a generational gap in preference.

Notice everyone was sitting down.

Well they're all old.

People pay so much money for those seats, you know.

Speaking of the Sphere, did you see what they're doing now with Wizard of Oz.

Yeah, I'm kind of curious to see it.

And they have the whole tornado and the opening scene you can feel the tornado and there's like debris rolling around in smoke.

And they really commit to the tornado parents, so very more more Tornado than you know.

What do you think the least expensive ticket is for that Wizard of Oz?

Starting I'm going to guess you could the least expensive.

You might be able to get four hundred bucks.

Yeah, okay, one hundred dollars to see a movie we've all seen thirty times, right, because it's an experience.

I guess, So, I guess.

So that's the last thing they want to do is have.

Right, though, Vince Gill is right about the Eagles, you have to take an account most of the demographic that grew up with the Eagles.

They're older people, yeah, and they want to sit on There's nothing wrong with stayed seated.

Right, But if you go to see Taylor Swift, they're probably all standing the whole shower.

And that's you know, because they're young.

You know you can stand that generational g.

You should take the seats out, you know, just have people stand, give you the rose.

That generational gap amping up as popular longtime artists like Diana Ross Sting and Rod Stewart continue to tour.

Still, others have gone viral for defending fervent fans during the Eras tour.

It's too bad that John Denver never got that taste, you know, when when the resurgent of all these old acts really exploded, John Denver had passed away at like four or five, six months before that all happened.

But can you imagine how many concerts he would sell out?

John Denver?

He was giant.

He was giant, and everybody knows the lyrics to like nine of his songs.

Sure, you know, it's incredible.

Taylor Swift took on security mid show for trying to get one girl to calm down.

And while Adele's emotional ballads can bring you to your knees, the singer has a long history supporting fans who want to stand.

Have you seen Adele in concert?

I have not, but I could see where you'd sway you'd stand and sway stuff I think, you know.

Yeah, I saw Gwen Stefani in concert.

She was great.

Oh she is so great.

Yeah, she was awesome and local, Yeah, Orange County, they say.

From her massive concert Munich two, a more intimate residency in Vegas where she asked ushers to let.

This man dance.

You know, I think things are gone pretty well in this country where where the argument is should you stand or sit at a concert?

I think a lot of countries have a lot more as going on than we do.

Yeah, I mean to be fair.

It's not the only thing people to discussing.

I thought it was.

You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on demand from KFI A six forty.

We learned that Morgan went to school University of Arkansas, right whoopig yep.

And And I always found that school to be a mystery because you know, I understand why USC is popular.

So's it's literally you can see lax from if you went to one of the top buildings at USC, you could see the airport UCLA, same thing.

I'm Berkeley, Oregon, Oregon State, Washington, Washington State.

Most of these schools are within ten to fifteen minutes of a major airport.

But that University of Arkansas unless you flew into Springfield, Tulsa, or god only knows where else, there's no air traffic in and out of the town that it's in.

There's none.

They have one tiny, tiny, tiny airport, but there's probably like only a few planes there.

But ever, but the biggest airport is probably what Tulsa.

Yeah, probably Tulsa Little Rock.

So you gotta change states, and that's gotta be a that's got to be a two hour drive.

Yeah, because then what do you rent a car.

Do you leave your car there?

Right?

You know, kids coming into town for school.

But here's the here's the kicker.

Here's why it's great because mom and dad are not coming to visit.

I knew you were just about to say.

That they're not coming.

That's why I left Texas to go to college.

So I'm like, we need some space.

Yes, and you've you've you've created a lot of it.

Yes, yeah, more and more.

But that's it's It looks like a beautiful campus though, one of those old southern campuses.

It's gorgeous, Oh my god.

And in the fall when the.

Leaves, oh yes, I think.

It's you know, every year it's voted one of the best campuses.

Right, And as you said, they don't have a pro team, so that's Arkansas.

That's their sport.

Yeah, no pro teams, like no NFL team in Arkansas.

So the Razorbacks are a huge, huge, huge deal.

Yeah that is kind of cool.

Though.

Did you play sports for them?

Yeah?

I played football.

No, I played volleyball, but it was just what do you call it or mural?

Yes, So I felt like kind of a loser doing that, Like.

That's pretty cool that you know, mom and dad sent you there.

It's not bad.

Are you still paying it off?

No?

I have no students.

Wow.

I worked my way through school and I paid it when I was.

There, Is that right?

Yeah?

Graduated with nothing.

I was a news director, a director at a news station, and then I worked at restaurants.

That's kind of cool.

What restaurants.

It's called Damn Good Pies pizza restaurants.

I worked there for about four years.

I love the confidence that the guy has.

Yeah, Damn Good Pies were really good.

And it's a pizza place.

Yeah.

Was Domino's big there on campus?

Oh yeah, you know yeah.

When Domino's first I went to Bowling Green State University in Ohio.

How about that?

Applause?

Huh?

And that's when Dominoes really first started.

And you know in the in the early eighties, they were really just getting going and they had a they had a special and we always call them to see what the special?

Where?

You know, I still do you still call Dominos?

Hey?

Running a specials?

Right?

And that just means that, you know, I'm forty years, fifty years into your business and I still don't know your menu.

So they were running a deal that if you ordered a pizza and it was it wasn't there in thirty minutes it was free.

Yes, did they do that Arkansas?

No, I don't.

They might have stopped that by then because they was late too many times.

Well, we used to have so in our dorm.

I lived in a dorm called Bad Shelder, and we had everyone had a sticker next to their phone that said there's two times to order pizza, seven and nine thirty, right, seven o'clock for the people are hungry early, the bong load guys nine thirty.

Right.

But if they caught you ordering a pizza not at seven and not at nine thirty, people got pissed at you.

Why because we'd we'd load them up and we'd ordered literally campus wide, we'd probably order three hundred pizzas at seven are never on time?

Withinium ninety we're free, oh no kidding.

And then the next ordered was at nine thirty.

That's brilliant and you could get it literally out of maybe seventy pizzas we ordered, I think we paid for two.

Oh my god, is college kids.

That's the greatest idea, right.

And we would get really complicated pizzas.

Oh yeah, gyah, half sausage, half pepperoni, but a quarter of it light cheese.

I guess I guys like spinning, like, no way, we're gonna get this out in a half hour.

But the reason why they stopped doing that is because a guy driving for Dominoes, you know, was going to be a minute late and ran into a family of four and that family of four I think got wiped out and it cost them like one hundred and fifty million dollars, and so they had to stop doing that.

But but we that wasn't us.

This The Dominoes was literally cross the street from our dorm.

So we would we would like literally with benign we'd look at Domino's, well everybody ordered at seven, and that place would light up.

Oh, we lit that place up.

It'd be like three guys on the phone walking around, dancing around like they had the chickens with their heads cut off, boxes flying do flying, trying to get those pizzas out.

You know, those employees hated you guys like these.

You know what.

The employees didn't care.

The owner hated us, really, but the employees were college students.

There were us, you know.

The Yeah, they didn't care.

They're like, hey, guys, there's some more pizza.

This one guy that went way overboard and he got stuck too.

But there's one guy that ordered twenty two pizzas right knowing that they're all going to be free.

Well, that was the first guy they got to and he had to pay for twenty two pizzas.

This guy, and there's a big deal because he didn't have the money and he was being you know, he brought it brought into court and they they went after him pretty heavily.

But that's interesting.

And and that's an old, beautiful campus, that Univerity of Arkansas.

When was that, like the eighteen hundreds.

Yeah, it's eighteen oh I want to say like four or something that's later.

No.

Four, But it does look like it's a beautiful campus.

University of Arkansas.

I would say late eighteen hundreds or early nineteen hundreds.

Eighteen oh four seems really early our university.

Eighteen fourteen?

Is it eighteen fourteen?

Oh no, I'm guessing again.

Oh okay, No, eighteen oh four even eighteen fourteen sounds really literally, we're just we're just stretching out as a country.

I don't think we're building universities.

I would say late eighteen hundreds, early seventeen, early nineteen hundreds, Oh, seventeen hundreds, Yeah, probably no, no, no, I would say late eighteen hundreds or early nineteen hundreds, I'd say, I'd say nineteen oh five, or I don't know.

Ooh, okay, so.

It wasn't eighteen oh four.

I'll tell you that.

Well, I was kind of close without going over eighteen seventy one.

Okay, Well, you were sixty odd years away, and I think I was.

I said when late eighteen hundreds, I think it was a little closer.

But look I didn't go there, so think dog.

It's Conway Show.

We're live on KFI AM six forty Conway Show on demand on the iHeartRadio app.

Now you can always hear us live on KFI AM six forty four to seven pm Monday through Friday, and anytime on demand on the iHeartRadio app.