[SPEAKER_02]: Do you and your partner want 2026 to be the most connected, fun, happy year ever?

[SPEAKER_02]: We're going to give you a framework that's going to help you get there.

[SPEAKER_00]: Hello, all and welcome to the Relationship Innovation Podcast.

[SPEAKER_00]: I am Tara Kerwin.

[SPEAKER_02]: And my name is EJ Kerwin.

[SPEAKER_00]: We're so excited to be here and do this podcast.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's like one of our favorite ones we do at the beginning of every year.

[SPEAKER_00]: How to avoid disconnection in the new year.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, prep you guys for having the most connected 2026 ever.

[SPEAKER_02]: And we wanted to be beyond, like, oh, it'll be nice.

[SPEAKER_02]: Like, we want to actually give you a framework to achieve what you want together in this next year.

[SPEAKER_02]: And one way we're going to help you take that extra step.

[SPEAKER_02]: is if you join our free Patreon community in which there's a link in the show notes, you can join 100% free.

[SPEAKER_02]: We're going to have a post in there that accompanies this show that will have the framework that you can print out, sit down and do this whole exercise together in staying together, nailing some real clear intentions, the obstacles to them, and how you're going to achieve it in the new year.

[SPEAKER_00]: So if you want 2026 to be the most connected for you and your partner, give this a listen.

[SPEAKER_02]: All right.

[SPEAKER_02]: So the first thing we wanted you to do, I mean, obviously is, you know, probably you're listening to this alone.

[SPEAKER_02]: Some couples listen to it together or they listen to us at times, whatever.

[SPEAKER_02]: But you're going to just bring it up to your partner and the great thing about doing this right now versus like, [SPEAKER_02]: in March or April or May is like, there's a context to it, right?

[SPEAKER_02]: Is like, you know, setting intentions for the next year is like normal, you know?

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, there's always just like this like feels like, oh, it's like a new start, a fresh start.

[SPEAKER_00]: And that can feel really empowering because some people get so lost and like, it'll never be different.

[SPEAKER_00]: It could never be.

[SPEAKER_00]: And just that idea of like new years, New Year's resolutions.

[SPEAKER_00]: We call them intentions.

[SPEAKER_00]: intention plus action equals results.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's a really good place to start a symbolically I feel like.

[SPEAKER_02]: So you're bringing it up to your partner you're saying like, hey, let's just like sit down and let's make our intentions for this next year together, right?

[SPEAKER_02]: And it's it's not in this like, oh, something screwed up about a relationship.

[SPEAKER_02]: It's not like, hey, we got to sit down and like talk about our problems.

[SPEAKER_02]: It's super positive.

[SPEAKER_02]: It's like, [SPEAKER_02]: Let's set our intentions for this next year.

[SPEAKER_00]: Also, like this framework is going to help you connect daily, weekly, and monthly.

[SPEAKER_00]: So it's not about just like putting it out there.

[SPEAKER_00]: And then the hope is that we cross our fingers like, okay, it's like pretty intentional.

[SPEAKER_00]: What we're going to be talking about today because we know with intention plus action and consistency, you will get the desired results.

[SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely, all right.

[SPEAKER_02]: The first thing you guys are going to do.

[SPEAKER_02]: You're going to sit down.

[SPEAKER_02]: You got some space.

[SPEAKER_02]: You're, you know, you might still be in vacation.

[SPEAKER_02]: You might have just got back into the swing of things.

[SPEAKER_00]: It might still be at home.

[SPEAKER_00]: Who knows?

[SPEAKER_00]: And you're crazy.

[SPEAKER_02]: The first thing you guys are going to do is just reflect back on the last year, right?

[SPEAKER_02]: What are some of the wins from last year?

[SPEAKER_02]: And those can be big wins.

[SPEAKER_02]: Those can be small wins.

[SPEAKER_00]: The second thing you want to do is what were the lessons we learned last year, right?

[SPEAKER_00]: We all, even when we go through difficult moments, we learn lessons from them, while the hope is we learn lessons from them and we can identify those, so we can take those into this discussion.

[SPEAKER_02]: And it could be lessons that you guys as a couple have learned from last year.

[SPEAKER_02]: It could be lessons that each of you individually learned about yourself, about the pace of your life, like whatever it is.

[SPEAKER_02]: It's what are the lessons that we've learned from last year?

[SPEAKER_00]: And I know you like the third one.

[SPEAKER_02]: I do like the third one.

[SPEAKER_02]: is what do we need to let go of?

[SPEAKER_02]: And that always, like, for me, that feels great.

[SPEAKER_02]: It's like, what can I just like, what can I unburden myself with?

[SPEAKER_02]: And I know like that we've talked a lot about like 25 being sort of a tough year for us, and this, I mean, there are certainly things.

[SPEAKER_02]: where it's winter and I really go through this exercise together and do it at home, like there are definitely some things I cannot wait to let go of.

[SPEAKER_02]: But if I'm not intentional about it, I might carry them right with me in the 20s.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, somehow just awareness and the idea and even symbolically letting go is, I guess, cathartic, an experiential.

[SPEAKER_00]: And then you also want to not only identify what you want to let go of, but what are the patterns?

[SPEAKER_00]: Like name just one pattern that you do not want to repeat in the year of 2026.

[SPEAKER_00]: And we'll share like a personal story.

[SPEAKER_00]: We won't go through our entire thing because that would be like a tour podcast.

[SPEAKER_00]: But so you're going to the first part is you're reflecting on your last year.

[SPEAKER_00]: Big wins, small wins, any wins wins are really good.

[SPEAKER_00]: Then you're going to say here are the lessons of last year that we're really taking in with [SPEAKER_00]: so that we can provide this vision for our 2026, what do you need to let go of so that doesn't hold you back and stay stuck and make you feel heavy and then one pattern that you do not want to repeat in 2026.

[SPEAKER_00]: And we'll just share we have not gone through this yet.

[SPEAKER_00]: So we'll do a personal share of EJ, what is one pattern that you do not want to repeat for the year 2026 that you identify.

[SPEAKER_02]: Like I really want to break out of this pattern that we have.

[SPEAKER_02]: of maybe me talking in a way that's like that you find harsh or you feel like emotionally unsafe and that then I see you sort of like withdrawing from me like I want to like figure out a way to to avoid that pattern because I think it's like super unhealthy and a lot of times I don't even know [SPEAKER_02]: Like, I don't even know what I've done or said.

[SPEAKER_02]: But I definitely, like, especially in these last couple weeks have really tried to reflect and notice when I am just a little more sharper, just like, perfunctory, or whatever.

[SPEAKER_02]: Like, so yeah, I want to break the pattern of me and my communication shutting you down or scaring you or making you really not enjoy being around me.

[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you.

[SPEAKER_00]: I love that.

[SPEAKER_00]: I want to break the pattern of kind of being in avoidance around like finances, because for me, like even growing up like scarcity was a big thing, and so I just wanted to like just like, okay, we're okay.

[SPEAKER_00]: Everything's good.

[SPEAKER_00]: We're good.

[SPEAKER_00]: And so I my pattern of avoiding definitely developed some, you know, some negative underlying dynamics [SPEAKER_00]: feel really empowered in it and not scared of it.

[SPEAKER_00]: So that is a pattern I want to quote.

[SPEAKER_02]: And here's something sort of next level tip we can give you, is it when your partner tells you what, you know, what they think the big win or the small win or if they tell you like we just did, what is a pattern that you don't want to repeat, you can validate it by just saying like this.

[SPEAKER_02]: I can say like, okay Tara, like [SPEAKER_02]: I hear that the pattern that you want to break and let go of is avoidance around finances and is that accurate?

[SPEAKER_00]: That is accurate.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_02]: And if I had, let's say I said instead, hey, Tara, I heard the pattern that you want to break is the frustration that you have with our finances.

[SPEAKER_02]: Is that right?

[SPEAKER_00]: No.

[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_02]: So Tara has that ability, then it's a practice thing of, like, did I actually listen?

[SPEAKER_02]: Am I actually hearing what you're saying?

[SPEAKER_02]: And then your partner has a ability to be like, yeah, well, actually know what I meant was.

[SPEAKER_02]: Because a lot of times, we sort of automatically run things through our own filter.

[SPEAKER_02]: And anytime, throughout this entire exercise, you can validate your partner by merely repeating what it is that they just said, that's going to help.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I hear that the pattern you wanna break is really being aware around more of the harsh tones sometimes you notice if I start to become emotionally unsafe or something that you wanna recognize.

[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, the pattern I wanna break is a pattern of communication where I communicate to you in a way where you withdraw from me or become like, feel emotionally unsafe.

[SPEAKER_00]: see awesome and glad I clarified because I know that there's a lot there.

[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so the second piece, by the way, there's six parts to this framework, just to tell it, you know, I'm so the first one is reflecting on the last year, we kind of just did like, you know, the few things that you can answer, the second one is so huge.

[SPEAKER_00]: What is your vision for 2026?

[SPEAKER_02]: And this is, and there's a specific sort of like exercise we want you to do here, and I think it's kind of fun.

[SPEAKER_02]: So, so what it would be, it would be terror and I sitting down and sort of pretending it's the last week of December in 2026.

[SPEAKER_02]: So, you know, a year from now basically.

[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_02]: and that we're looking back on what's different in a positive way at that period versus now, like what's changed positively in our relationship, in our life, we're looking back and be like, man, [SPEAKER_02]: I really did a good job of communicating with you in a way where you felt really safe and and man, Tara, you were like so good this year, like bringing up money and building, willing to talk about tough things financially and you said, you know, you wanted to go over the budget without me bringing it up and, you know, so it's you and your partner.

[SPEAKER_02]: pretending it's a year from now, looking back on all of your successes together.

[SPEAKER_00]: So that what that is going to do is going to help you create your intentions because you're already like feeling like it's happened.

[SPEAKER_00]: We do this a lot with our couples goals.

[SPEAKER_00]: Like if you left here and your relationship about really good, what would it feel like, what would it look like?

[SPEAKER_00]: So the reflection right that it's already happening that you're already living that life How have you lived this year how have you loved with you and your partner this year how have you cared for yourself?

[SPEAKER_02]: And there's some categories that you can choose from and we just want you to pick three So it's not super overwhelming and I think this will help right because then instead of it being like oh gosh How do I look back on what's [SPEAKER_02]: What would I like to be different is think of like, okay, if a year from now is looking back on our relationship, our health, our work, money, home, fun, and spirituality.

[SPEAKER_02]: You know, you're going to take those categories and again, they're in the Patreon group and you can begin print this out and look at those, you're going to pick three of those together that you're going to focus on, like, what's the conversation [SPEAKER_02]: about the successes you've had in those three areas.

[SPEAKER_00]: And we're really hoping that one of the areas you choose is your intimate relationship right?

[SPEAKER_02]: I think that's a non-negotiable.

[SPEAKER_02]: We'll say that you pick relationship as one and then you pick two more.

[SPEAKER_02]: And we can roll model this a little bit right now because if we were going to do this, we would want to do obviously our relationship.

[SPEAKER_02]: Probably money.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.

[SPEAKER_02]: And fun.

[SPEAKER_02]: And fun.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, relationship money and fun.

[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yes, please.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.

[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so if it's December, 2026, yes.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm speaking like all of these things happened for me.

[SPEAKER_00]: I would say our relationship feels light.

[SPEAKER_00]: I feel energized with you.

[SPEAKER_00]: I feel comfortable saying doing anything with you that you've got my back.

[SPEAKER_00]: We feel supported.

[SPEAKER_00]: We are having lots of fun moments.

[SPEAKER_00]: We've already learned how to salsa dance and we're going out salsa dancing at least two to three times already, that we've definitely done more hikes and that we've planned for our overseas vacation in Greece that we start having fun planning for that.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's kind of like what I feel would be really cool.

[SPEAKER_00]: I love that.

[SPEAKER_00]: And then around money that we are freely talking about [SPEAKER_00]: and being really mindful around never living beyond our means.

[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, for me, Madam, I'm looking back on last year, all of 20, 26, and in our relationship, we broke out of some of those communication patterns.

[SPEAKER_02]: I'm really aware of when I say something, and it hurts you, or it hurts you.

[SPEAKER_00]: And what is that for you?

[SPEAKER_02]: It hurts you out.

[SPEAKER_02]: And I can tell like that you trust me more.

[SPEAKER_00]: How so?

[SPEAKER_02]: I feel like I can be me.

[SPEAKER_02]: I feel like if I do say something that you let me know in a way, [SPEAKER_02]: that is really hereable, that I catch myself sometimes, and I'm like, oh, I could have said that in a softer way.

[SPEAKER_00]: Nice, right?

[SPEAKER_02]: Around fun, we've really made it a point every month to do something just for us.

[SPEAKER_02]: And we've done a few things that neither of us have ever done before.

[SPEAKER_00]: So we're feeling proud and adventurous.

[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, we've done something we went to a goat farm.

[SPEAKER_02]: You know, we did some things that were like novel together.

[SPEAKER_00]: Love it.

[SPEAKER_02]: And that was fun.

[SPEAKER_02]: And then money, gosh, looking back on this year, [SPEAKER_02]: It just doesn't feel heavy when we talk about it and piggybacking on your thing about Greece is like we've actually saved We've saved a good bit of amount of money for that trip already.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, we're well on our way.

[SPEAKER_00]: I love it.

[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah [SPEAKER_00]: see it's like you just get excited and you're already living it so your body can feel that feeling because we want to help you get to that feeling and stay with that feeling daily weekly monthly, right?

[SPEAKER_00]: That's the format.

[SPEAKER_00]: So okay, so really quick.

[SPEAKER_00]: One reflect on last year.

[SPEAKER_00]: Two, what is your vision for 2020?

[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.

[SPEAKER_00]: Really feel it out like you've already lived that year.

[SPEAKER_02]: So now that we sort of visualize what it's going to be like at the end of 2026 for each of our pillars, which were our relationship finances and fun, now we're going to set an intention for each pillar.

[SPEAKER_02]: So if your pillar is, I'm going to pick something different than what you and I did, right?

[SPEAKER_02]: So let's say spirituality.

[SPEAKER_02]: say a couple said that spirituality is one of their pillars of the share and one of the things they're really going to said an attention for.

[SPEAKER_02]: So you might say like we're going to talk about spirituality at least once a week.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_00]: I love that.

[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_02]: Or we're going to make an effort once a month to try out a spiritual community and and see if it's a good fit.

[SPEAKER_00]: I love that.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_00]: I love that.

[SPEAKER_00]: So make sure it's a concrete concrete, but don't overthink them, right?

[SPEAKER_00]: So for like fun, one of ours is fun.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's like, okay, we're going to try to create one moment a month.

[SPEAKER_00]: You know, one day where we're doing something [SPEAKER_00]: Perfect.

[SPEAKER_00]: So you're creating those three intentions based on the three categories you chose.

[SPEAKER_02]: Yep.

[SPEAKER_02]: Now, and I think this is incredibly important.

[SPEAKER_02]: And sometimes this could be a little bumpy, right?

[SPEAKER_02]: It's we're going to identify what would be the obstacles to us achieving our intentions, right?

[SPEAKER_02]: And I think this might be useful here.

[SPEAKER_02]: So say we would have done one around our relationship but we will and the intention was to be really mindful and gentle with each other around communication.

[SPEAKER_02]: don't keep it top of mind and what that creates is then I'll just say something in a way that feels harsh to you and then you react and then I get defensive and so it would be honestly the biggest the biggest obstacle for us or for me and that would be just like falling back into that pattern and sort of being from my standpoint like us being stubborn.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, because I was going to say to piggyback on that because it's about follow-through and consistency right and if you like because you know sometimes you forget and then my thing would be like well if he forget I'm not going to remind them that's my stubbornness right and we just don't want to do that but my the obstacle could be I'm like I'm digging my heels in too because why is it always on me to follow through with everything.

[SPEAKER_00]: that's just not healthy, clear as kind, those are briney browns words, and clear as unkind.

[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, EJ, we really have to talk about our relationship in the communication and how soft we felt this week in it, we haven't done that yet this week, what's a good time.

[SPEAKER_02]: And so, when you identify the obstacle, [SPEAKER_02]: The next thing you're going to do is you're going to create sort of a a little statement of how you're going to address it.

[SPEAKER_02]: So it's a when this happens, we will this, right?

[SPEAKER_02]: So in the example, we're using when I do forget and I just start communicating in my old ways, I will hold myself accountable.

[SPEAKER_02]: So when I fall back into that pattern because I had just haven't been being mindful enough, I will hold myself accountable by saying, hey, I did it.

[SPEAKER_02]: I'll just, I'll be very upfront.

[SPEAKER_02]: I'll say, I, I noticed like when I said this, that you seem to draw away that's my story is that that hurt your feelings or that made you feel unsafe and I'll take ownership that I really wasn't being mindful and I just, it just kind of came out of my mouth.

[SPEAKER_02]: and I'm going to be much more aware.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I love that.

[SPEAKER_00]: And for me, it was like when follow through doesn't happen, I will make sure that we have our setting aside 30 minutes whenever we need to to make sure follow through does happen.

[SPEAKER_00]: So instead of me digging my heels in feeling powerless that follow through doesn't happen.

[SPEAKER_00]: I will play cake.

[SPEAKER_00]: Can we talk about this?

[SPEAKER_00]: Does that feel good?

[SPEAKER_00]: Awesome.

[SPEAKER_02]: All right, so we, here we are now at the end of the process.

[SPEAKER_02]: Like we've, we've looked back at 2026, you know, projected ourselves into the future.

[SPEAKER_02]: We, we created our three pillars.

[SPEAKER_02]: We set intentions for those pillars.

[SPEAKER_02]: We looked at what the obstacles might be.

[SPEAKER_02]: Now we create systems that are going to help us achieve these goals stick to these intentions.

[SPEAKER_00]: What are those systems, Val?

[SPEAKER_00]: If you are a client that has been in our counseling center or doing the honor at home, you will know these words very well.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's the daily check-ins, and it's the weekly check-ins, and then it's also monthly check-ins.

[SPEAKER_02]: And I know like, at first when we were like putting this together, I was like, oh my gosh, are we like, are we loading them up too much?

[SPEAKER_02]: But then I was like, you know, no, no, because these are not like, giant meetings that have to take hours, right?

[SPEAKER_02]: The daily check-ins are literally, [SPEAKER_02]: three to five minutes.

[SPEAKER_02]: You know, they're like, at the beginning of the day, at a time where you know you can connect the weekly or like, you know, hey, we have a cup of coffee.

[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_02]: You know, at the end of the week on Sunday morning, on Saturday evening, whenever it is.

[SPEAKER_02]: And then the monthly is our basically just.

[SPEAKER_02]: One of your weeklies becomes a monthly, and it's like a little more.

[SPEAKER_00]: You're zooming out, yeah.

[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, you're zooming out.

[SPEAKER_02]: So let's create like a framework for each one.

[SPEAKER_02]: The first one is just the daily check-in.

[SPEAKER_02]: Is there anything we can do today to further our attentions or at the very least, just remind ourselves that on a daily basis, we are working towards these three pillars.

[SPEAKER_00]: and always checking in with just like how you're feeling right because people have shifts daily, hourly, minutely, but you're always trying to get a hold of each other's emotional landscape and we do hear couples who even forget like their daily or weekly check in like they will just feel a little disconnected.

[SPEAKER_00]: So even getting that practice going even if you're not in a good place, like knowing like, oh, E.J.

[SPEAKER_00]: is feeling a little checked out today.

[SPEAKER_00]: daily check-in and so today might not be like the best day to talk about oh how can we further our intentions that we talked about for this year and it's just really important to have each others like emotional landscape intuitive into it and our daily check-ins literally at times are like 90 seconds [SPEAKER_02]: You know, they're not, sometimes they're extremely short.

[SPEAKER_02]: They're like, you know, in between, like, making lunches and feeding, you know, kids' breakfast.

[SPEAKER_02]: Like, they can be super short, but direct into the point.

[SPEAKER_02]: And they can, I mean, we won't lie to you.

[SPEAKER_02]: Like, there'll be like three or four days that go by and we don't do it.

[SPEAKER_02]: But then we circle back to it.

[SPEAKER_02]: At some point, like, one of us has the wherewithal to be like, we haven't done our check in in a few days.

[SPEAKER_02]: Let's make sure we do that today.

[SPEAKER_02]: So, we have daily check-ins where you're just like, is there anything I could do today or can we just remind ourselves of these three pillars?

[SPEAKER_02]: How are you feeling?

[SPEAKER_02]: How am I feeling?

[SPEAKER_02]: I'm feeling a little rushed.

[SPEAKER_02]: I'm feeling excited.

[SPEAKER_02]: I'm feeling fatigued.

[SPEAKER_02]: Next is the weekly check-in, right?

[SPEAKER_02]: And the weekly check-in we want to start that positive.

[SPEAKER_02]: It starts again probably with like, you know, how you do in today But it quickly gets into what are our wins?

[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, you know, hey, Tara this week.

[SPEAKER_02]: I put 50 bucks into our grease fund.

[SPEAKER_00]: Mm-hmm.

[SPEAKER_02]: We just make sure you know that because that's the times the thing with Tara and I were like, [SPEAKER_02]: They'll be somethings on her mind.

[SPEAKER_02]: She's getting anxious about it.

[SPEAKER_02]: Something involves a two of us.

[SPEAKER_02]: I've done it, but I haven't told her.

[SPEAKER_02]: And if I have that weekly check-in, and I can say, hey, honey, I put, you know, X amount of dollars into our fund, she's like, oh my God, I didn't even, I was thinking that you just like forgot about that, and it wasn't important to you.

[SPEAKER_02]: And I have the ability to let her know now with wins come misses, you know, like what are the ways in which we weren't connected to our intentions to those three pillars and those can be hard because in general, I'm thinking I want to cop to my own misses.

[SPEAKER_02]: Like I want to use misses as a time to say like, hey, [SPEAKER_02]: to like, I wasn't as mindful this week about the way I communicated and I'm aware of that.

[SPEAKER_02]: I probably don't want to be like, you know, Tara, you didn't bring up the budget at all this week and you really missed on that one, you know, because that's not going to feel good.

[SPEAKER_02]: And so I would really encourage you to look at the misses as things that you're taking personal [SPEAKER_00]: And then the idea is just like we have our yearly reset, right?

[SPEAKER_00]: New years is that you can have a weekly reset.

[SPEAKER_00]: So if you have all misses, that's okay.

[SPEAKER_00]: We get to reset.

[SPEAKER_00]: If you have all wins, awesome.

[SPEAKER_00]: We get to reset and even have more wins.

[SPEAKER_00]: So just look at it as a reset to gain your traction.

[SPEAKER_00]: We all know this happens to all of us.

[SPEAKER_00]: We're very inconsistent as humans and it's okay.

[SPEAKER_02]: And I think like resets personally, I don't know if you know about this about me or not Tara, but like resets are important because they feel like grace.

[SPEAKER_02]: Like they feel like you to myself and to you if like [SPEAKER_02]: You know, say I say that yeah, I haven't been as mindful, talking to you in a way where you feel really safe and I have been kind of abrupt.

[SPEAKER_02]: And if you're like, okay, well, that's just really reset about that, honey.

[SPEAKER_02]: Like, that's okay, like, let's just like, set the intention that we're gonna let go of last week and we're gonna move into this week, fresh.

[SPEAKER_02]: Like that, that to me feels, that feels like love and cared to me when we're able to do a reset together.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, it's so important, it's like the most important thing ever because we all get so stuck in powerlessness and like here we go again, we can't follow through again, not happening again.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to dig my hills and again because this just keeps happening over and over, having that reset even on a weekly basis.

[SPEAKER_00]: is so important because imagine if you weren't doing that and then like you're stumbling stumbling and stumbling, now's like an every three month reset.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's just gonna you're gonna have way more time to build all of that resentment and frustration.

[SPEAKER_02]: So and so the last check-in is your monthly check-in and it's basically just every four weeks your weekly check-in becomes a monthly check-in.

[SPEAKER_02]: And I think that's when you really want to do a big zoom out around each pillar and maybe take a little bit longer of like, okay, like, man, we are really struggling with fun.

[SPEAKER_02]: Like, we have that intention to do novel things together and we haven't.

[SPEAKER_02]: So, like, how do we really create a plan this month where we are going to do something?

[SPEAKER_02]: Like, [SPEAKER_00]: you're setting yourself up for success.

[SPEAKER_00]: You're looking at like, why was this month?

[SPEAKER_00]: Why was this area so difficult?

[SPEAKER_00]: And you're trying to be really realistic, right?

[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe someone was really sick that month or maybe extra busy or some family stuff happening.

[SPEAKER_00]: Like, all of it is okay.

[SPEAKER_00]: But you're just like trying to be really realistic because if you have this thing that you keep not doing that probably means you have an unrealistic intention for that and now you're just going to feel crappy like oh my god we just can't do this and that's not true but you want to be really realistic for yourself so that you can set yourself up for success even if it's like we're just going to start with daily chickens and weekly chickens like and just talking about our feelings maybe that's your whole intention that's awesome.

[SPEAKER_02]: And hopefully also in your monthly check-in, there's some celebration, right?

[SPEAKER_02]: There's some recognition, like maybe, you know, this month, like, wow, like, Tara, you were so, like, plugged into our budget.

[SPEAKER_00]: You asked about it.

[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I told, like, it's me when you say that.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I have, I have, like, an avriac.

[SPEAKER_02]: Or, like, [SPEAKER_02]: Or like, wow, there were times where were you really critical thought your way through, whether we should spend money on this or that.

[SPEAKER_02]: And I just really want to recognize that for you, Tara.

[SPEAKER_00]: To that would be amazing.

[SPEAKER_02]: If you go, well, I will celebrate you.

[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, the final thing you guys, this is important, because we've, we're almost done.

[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for listening this long.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's just you're always going to return to your center, which is united together in our 2026 yearly intentions.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's inevitable that we will wonder off.

[SPEAKER_00]: It is just, we are human, we will wonder off.

[SPEAKER_02]: But, I mean, what I love about this process is like imagine, Tara, us sitting last week of 2026 and thinking about like all the big shifts we made around our relationship.

[SPEAKER_02]: around having fun together and around our finances, like we're gonna look at back at 26 and we're gonna be like, we did it.

[SPEAKER_02]: We did what we said we were gonna do.

[SPEAKER_00]: You know, I just had this idea.

[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, everyone listen to this.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.

[SPEAKER_00]: What if we always did this in our studio?

[SPEAKER_00]: And what if we just uploaded it just for our Patreon membership the free?

[SPEAKER_00]: And then we do our weekly's and our monthly.

[SPEAKER_00]: So it's constantly role models.

[SPEAKER_00]: So people are also being like, oh, Tara and EJ did their weekly and their monthly and they're posting it up there.

[SPEAKER_02]: All right.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I love it.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's going to be a challenge.

[SPEAKER_02]: All right.

[SPEAKER_02]: So go.

[SPEAKER_02]: As soon as you get done listening to this, join our free Patreon community, just click it.

[SPEAKER_02]: At the top of the show notes, it's a super easy thing.

[SPEAKER_02]: You'll get updates anytime we put more information, which we're constantly doing.

[SPEAKER_02]: And we promise in the week that this podcast episode comes up, we will tell you what our three pillars are.

[SPEAKER_00]: We're going to go through the whole thing.

[SPEAKER_02]: We're going to the whole damn thing.

[SPEAKER_00]: We need to hold each other accountable, where all of us like in this world, and you guys compose on their what you guys.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm so nervous because you guys we're not going to lie.

[SPEAKER_02]: We're like the first to say like, dude, we didn't do our daily terms of first to tell me which ones I'm not falling through us.

[SPEAKER_00]: Anyway, thank you so much for listening.

[SPEAKER_00]: We wish everyone the happiest of new years of 2026 that you're safe, that you get to love freely and be loved freely, because it's the most amazing thing in the entire world.

[SPEAKER_00]: Even though there's still uncomfortable moments, you build trust that you can handle it yourself and together, and as always, take care of yourself, take care of each other.

[SPEAKER_00]: Bye-bye.

[SPEAKER_00]: Bye-bye.

[SPEAKER_01]: We're just singing on the train, me and you listening to the rain, me and you, we are the same, me and you.