While we do have a blanket warning on the show about graphic and explicit content, we want to note that this book specifically contains subject matter around abortion, sexual assault, power dynamics, and the joys and unfortunate horrors of coming of age.

Listener discretion is extra advised.

Passages contains graphic and explicit sexual content.

Listener discretion is advised.

Welcome, Oh yeah, Welcome to Passages.

Passages which one of you, bitches is my mother.

To find the answers.

Lily will be taken to worlds of horny, excess, luxury, power, op a lands.

Don't you mean opulence, I don't, Aristocrats, magnates, and so much.

Six hundred pages, five continents, and four life stories of women as strong, elegant and full.

Of holes as place.

Welcome back to Passage.

We're back inside Passages, which, bitches.

Were six feet probably okay, we have started.

Maybe opening with an abortion was.

A great and uh so, yeah, what a shocking and strange opening to the book.

Yeah, I mean just just it was presented in a very brutal fashion.

He is very rough, so.

Brutal that I didn't even read the majority of it because I was like, get.

The point there's plenty of that.

We're good, which, again, I can't tell you how funny reading the back beyond every woman's wildest dreams and richest fantasies into scrape scrape scrape.

Opening with scrapes scrapes.

Yeah, I will, we will circle back on that because I feel like that's one of those like kind of mystery openings, Like there's probably a good reason for us to have seen that.

I trust that there's a like a thought behind that, but that it's one of those things that like it will reveal itself later.

So yeah, we got that.

In the first episode.

We got meeting our main characters, Y so Lily, really.

Cool intros of each cool character.

Actually, yes, I actually thought they were all very interesting.

Lily is at the center of our stories.

She's trying to find her.

Mom, which why you bitches, is my mom.

She's a young hot starlet's she's like twenty eight, and she never gives interviews.

She has a very mysterious but like sordid backstory in personal life.

And she lures each one of them in with a her false pretenses, but with a very specific hook.

To each person each personal uh you.

Interior designs breakout interview.

Tell all book apology.

I'm going to get that apology.

Apologies.

One was like, oh, I want to give money to your charity or I want to work with your expanding your charitable giving.

Yep.

I'm trying to remember the names of our ladies.

I wrote them down.

So we have Kate something or other.

We don't know her last name yet, Maxine Maxine, and she's from coming from Paris.

She has the winery and all the fancy schmancy money and the interior design.

Pagan Pagan, she's the brit who's.

The Brett from money.

Yep.

We get a lot of Kate and Pagan in this.

The two of them were friends first, I think.

So we get a lot of like, yeah, there's some really interesting stuff between them growing up as kids.

And then there was one more Judy.

Judy, she's right, she's the writer.

Reporter who made her own way.

Okay, So we've got a couple from money, couple from lower amounts of money, made their own made their own money.

And then like total self made Judy, and we meet all of them as young women.

Okay, so that's right.

We get their adult perspective.

They're in their forties.

Ye, way past their prime.

They've made that clear in the opening.

Oh yes, sorry, they're all elderly forties.

They're portrayed as the Golden Girls, but they're not.

They're just in their forties, correct, They're just middle aged.

They're not that much older than you and me.

No, like seven years of my age and like one year.

Yeah, but they are all presented as like established institutions.

Like they're all presented like Miranda.

Hillard Maxine had talked about, like all the work sheet had done her face lifts and stuff.

Yeah, they're all presented as like Miranda Hillard from Missus Doubtfire, or like the evil woman from Devilwaar's Prada Meryl Streeps characters.

Yeah, a priest Rand, Miranda Hiller to Miranda Priestley, Miranda.

The meanest Miranda's in the world.

No, the Miranda from Missus Doufire isn't actually completely justified everything.

That fucking movie.

When we were kids, we really bought hook Line and Sinker that she was like the fun police villain.

And that I don't.

I didn't as a kid, I.

Did, and then watching it as an adult, I was like, fuck that man and the.

Literal petting zoo horse he rode in on.

But I think that out.

I think that's what the movie is trying to say.

It's trying to get you to empathize with him first and then realize.

Oh, he needed to get he needed to get a.

Ship together, like the whole project of dressing up.

It's just like this, this is a fantasy world, like this is not how a parent needs to behave.

Like if we ever get into a fight and you're not speaking to me, I'm gonna have to.

Be so suspicious of everyone.

I haven't talked to Amanda in a year.

She knows what she did, so I'm sorry I have to pull on your face because that she might she might down.

Firing me, totally conspire with Christa.

You're amazing.

Yes, who's know news as you were a child that she has to fake like an injury and she has found a replacement.

It's just so obviously you by the ways bottom, I know it's you, Amanda, missus, Amanda.

I can see your.

Christa told me you've been fighting with your best friends.

Tell me more thing.

I can see your blue hair, you fucking animal.

Oh your tatches, your cup is rubbing up.

I can see the fucking space needle tattoo.

Oh my god, let's fight.

Missus feather Bottom also doesn't believe in the fucking space needle.

She's got a couple of like unreasonable will.

She is right this thing, isn't.

You, Amanda?

You should call Missus feather Bottom.

She's the only person in the world that laughs like that or things like that.

You.

Yeah, I'm convincing Missus doubtfire is such a funny idea, Like, can you imagine how funny that movie would be if he showed up for that and he was like hello, and she goes, what the fuck, Daniel, that's the.

Missus feather Bottom bit in arrested development.

What No, I don't know that.

Oh my god, Bias, you don't watch I just know I've seen it.

It didn't stick.

I don't remember anything.

You gotta give it another chance.

It's absurd.

It's Tobias Funke, who's arguably like the best.

Oh my god, David Cross, he's on your own.

No.

No, I was referencing the show and I realized you weren't referencing the show back.

I was like, I don't think he knows about time.

I don't know.

I don't know.

So he is married to port Rossi's characters in the show, and their daughter maybe is What's your Face from search party?

Was awesome?

He was amazing.

I can't remember her name because it's.

Kind of an odd name.

Well it's not like odd, but it's not Jessica so white as ship.

So I can't remember a guy.

It's unique.

It's interesting, right, But so.

They're getting divorced in the show and they're constantly at os with each other and then getting back together.

But it's like so ridiculous because Tobias is obviously gay and he's in that he's in a blue man group.

Like he's like a blue man group understudy backup persons.

That's why he's always covered in blue paints.

Anyway, he's never new, remember that.

So he does a bit when they're on one of their splits for to have like access or keep up with what's going on in the family home.

He pretends to be there a cleaning lady, Missus feather Bottom.

And she just lets she obviously clocks him, and everyone knows.

It's so obvious.

He basically still has a mustache like in his drag.

It's incredible.

You'd love it, I'll send you.

That's crazy.

It's actually peaky memories.

Maybe I have seen it, but I just don't remember it.

That's the thing about arrested development.

Maybe this is a hot take, but I feel like it's not good just for the main characters, like Jason Bateman is fine, but he's Jason Bateman.

Michael Sarah is great, but he's Michael Sarah.

But all of the ensemble characters, like fucking the mom in.

That just mean's She's the thing I remember most from that.

She is so.

Spectacular in her role as Lucilee Bluth and fucking Loose two played by Liza Minnelli with with chronic vertigo.

Oh yeah, I remember all of her bits the show.

That's what makes the show is the is the like ensemble of absolutely ludicrous characters around these two like very.

Boring center pieces in my opinion.

Speaking of the ensemble of incredible and eccent sorry Lace, Lace, this is great.

I just like literally realized I had so many Yeah, wasn't that like a super joint?

Yeah, I smoked a joint that's like dipped in oil and rolled and Keith and you, I'm gonna go on a lot of tangents.

That's great.

You just you put the hook out like a little fish your daddy, and you reel me.

I'm a real in my mom.

You can't do anything because I bit my lips so fucking bad after my endoscopy when they gave you.

Heroin as when you were getting in.

That, I asked the nurse when I woke up, I was like, can I have this as a sleep aid?

Right?

They're killed Michael.

Jackson literally, Oh I kind of get it though, Yeah, yeah, well hey listen for the Prince truly literally, oh my god.

Okay, So in the opening, we got the four ladies.

They're lured there by Lululemon.

And then it flashes back yes school, she.

Cute, She confronts them, which one of you is my mother?

And then we just get this a genuine like smash cut, smash cut of time jump fifty sixty years Oh wait, none of them all.

It's like twenty five third, thirty years ago.

They're like eleven or twelve.

They're all in, they're in boarding, they're on boarding schools.

I think they're all teenagers.

I think we're like fifteen sixteen.

So it was like twenty years ago, twenty thirty five.

If they're like forty five forty eight, then it's like thirty years.

Yeah.

Third, so we smash back and it is, and then we just suddenly oursel at a boarding school for girls.

The fake is about to bring Ley's full soon to be puzzled and together as they learn about things like seeks and priests and and make lifelong.

Friendships with each other's breast, with each other's brists.

Okay, so it's if I told you right now all the things that are in the next like two chapters, you would fucking start to scream wildly.

Is that good?

It is insane.

This might be the best stretch of any book that we have fucking read so far.

It goes from a disturbing abortion scene to like a sex in the city kind of I could hear all of the like dude dud music playing in the background behind it into a genuinely unhinged fucking like girls at a boarding school.

I guess let's just get started, because this is fucking I can't talk this up enough.

Also, the very first lion, I feel sick, but Kate leaning against the headboard and fastening a new lace bra over her adolescent breeze.

No, so immediately into we get adolescent breasts and a sick protagonist.

It's it's it's puppets.

It's puppets meets.

Ud swapped scruples, puppets.

Yeah, it's incredible, worth it, said Pagan as she licked her fingers.

Wearing orange satin boxer shorts and a pink kimonos.

I don't know, we don't know yet.

She sat cross legged at the end of Kate's narrow bed and looked regretfully at the white cardboard box between the two teenage girls.

One chocolate declaire.

Oh they're eating, okay, they are.

You're putting a bra on your.

Buddy, Yes, your fingers, they're They're like, they're.

Just relaxed, well practice on each other.

It's not gay.

Two women can't be gay.

We'll save this for after supper.

Now, can I paint your toenails purple?

To take your mind off throwing up?

The English pupils always splurge their first week allowances on cakes, lipstick, and nail polish.

They had been freed from strict schools in order to be transferred into cultural girls by the Swiss Finishing Swiss Finishing.

School after Switzerland.

Okay, after years of deprivation followed by a post war period in which even bread and potatoes were ration the girls thought Switzerland in nineteen forty eight was a paradise compared to s tired Britain, a paradise of cream cakes, chocolate, snow and romance.

Wow, they're in Switzerland right after World War two, right after World War two.

And so these two girls are English, and so they have come from like rationing and like deprivation.

Even Pagan's family, who was like wealthy, they felt the fucking squeeze.

And so now they're in Switzerland.

The war is over, the world is looking bright, and we get this absolutely stunning and quaint and cozy like they are in the Swiss Alps.

They are in a boarding school.

They have windows looking out over the mountains.

It's snowing, and their room is like one of the attic rooms, so it's like got sloped like a princess.

Yes, and they are like waiting for their roommate, their third roommate to come like squeeze into this little like cozy space up at the top of a boarding school.

I was like, if they could do magic, this would be my ultimate fucking like, oh my gosh, fantasy book.

And they're doing each other's toenails, and they're like, let's do bright colors.

You know what I gotta say.

It's great to put a book in your hands that gives you this much joy.

Have I thought puppets would be the top?

Oh?

Yes, but this is this is delightful.

You're loving this because I'm loving this.

So that the one of them lolls back on the bed, barefoot poison mid air, Kate looked over Pagan's head.

She could see the snowtopped mountains of Gustad framed by the white lace curtains of her open bedroom window.

Let's go into the forest before Tea suggested Kate, King's still, you, idiot, because she's painting her nails.

We were told to meet the new girl.

We'll go after Tea if she hasn't arrived.

Poor thing.

You've bagged the best armoire.

There has hardly any hanging space in hers because we have to get so Katy and our little Annie together.

So they're supposed to meet the third girl.

They're all up in the top floor and that they describe the school a little bit, and then Kate is like, I'm not gonna waste such a lovely afternoon in the Swiss Alps.

Literally, good for you, Kate.

So she's like, you know what, the girl's late, I'm going out.

So she drags Pagan out and they're like looking around at how like stunningly beautiful it is.

They're up in the mountains and they're alone for the first time.

They're like away from home and it's a dream.

And then we get a fucking deadly action sequence.

I shit you not.

We go right like a bear or something.

No, a fucking okay.

They come to the edge of a cliff and they're because they're up in the mountains, and so they come to the edge of a cliff and she's like, it's so beautiful, and she like does like a yodel, and then and then they get They're like, it's so awesome.

No, no, this other They hear a voice back to her yodel that goes, oh sika, and Kate goes, that means help, and it came from the edge of the cliff.

But Quassica yelled Pagan, the voice yelled, I'm stuck.

They look over the edge and there has been a little like collapse of the pathways and there is a girl like dangling from a cliff face below them.

Oh my god, this is the cinematic.

This is the third page of this chapter.

Yeah, they did not come to they fucking go.

They came to play.

And she's like, what what happened?

The edge crumbled?

Yes, there isn't much edge left.

I'm so frightened.

And they see this like cute girl with shaggy hair like and her luggage and she's like, dang on the lege, it's you'll you know, oh.

It's Maxine because she's speaking French.

I think it's Judy.

Actually hold on, yes, So I'm mixed up on their names.

But so six peop below them, I see a girl with shaggy hair and she's like I was.

I was walking with my friend Nick.

He took his shirt off to try to like pull me up, but it ripped and I fell back down.

Here where's Nick?

So there's a shirtless hot guy running around the elking missing and he went to go get help.

So the girls come and you know what, and I swear to god, this made me love them so much.

Immediately, Pagan is just like, okay, I got this at least one hundred feet below, the earth was starting to slide again.

It made Pagan feel sick.

Oh crumbs, she gasped.

Sorry, Oh crambs, she gasped.

Oh no, don't look down.

She tried to reach the girl with her hands, but her outreach fingertips were about two feet from the upended hands of the frightened girl below.

These pants how tougher than the shot, she explained, So she pulls her pants off and fucking dangles them over the edge.

They keep talking about jawn per leggings, like, I don't know what that is, Aaron, maybe you can look that up, John per j O d H you are?

They talk they're a kind of pant, but I I don't know what it means specifically.

So she ties the jaw per legs with a reef knot so that the garment formed a circle.

So she knows knots.

Maybe she's been a sailing or something.

For God's take, hang tight onto my ankles, Pagan hissed to Kate as she wriggled back to the cliff face and peered over it.

Some earth crumbled away beneath her breasts, and she felt even sicker as she dangled the John purse.

Down to the girl an hour ago.

Can you get them over your head and under your arms like a knife, felt, don't look down.

That's genius.

This is really fucking pagan is.

The ship turns out purs they're like horse riding pants, so they would be they might be very tough.

So she lowers it down.

Kate grabs her ankles and they're like out over the edge, and we get a like cliffhanger like liters rescue on the third page of chapter two.

I can't, I can't.

The earth is falling, blah blah blah, No one two three, Pagan said, and she forced as fortunately as she could obediently.

The thin little girl, thank god she was so small, leaned out and started to scramble up the mountain, and the belt jerked tot.

Pagan felt an agonizing pain in her wrists and shoulder.

She wondered whether she dislocated it.

Then the whole of her left arm was an agony.

As inch by inch, the girl scrambled up and she gets to safety slowly.

Pagan gas slowly.

Okay, so she clambers up to safety.

So they save this girl, and but before Pagan could stand up, the ground beneath her fell away, and suddenly she was dangling by the waist, head downward over the crumbling mountain.

The ledge that the girl had been standing on had disappeared.

No way double rescue.

Kate grabbed Pagan and together they fell backwards, panting and sobbing, and crawled to safety.

So did they lose one, Nope?

There all three of them are up.

It crumbles, so she's like dangling by the waist and then they growl up man.

So they all get to safety and then the girl goes, I must go and runs away.

What She's like, I'm gonna be late and runs off there.

This is obviously the roommate.

They've been waiting like an extreme panic.

And they're like and Kate is like, what a cow, you saved her life and she just ran off and then she's like, oh, darling, Pagan, your hands.

So she's kind of scraped up and she winds up in a cast later because she kind of hurt her shoulder and like, oh shit.

Yeah.

So all a tall, thin young man naked to the waist ran back in front of them.

So this nick guy.

Nick with no shirt and then Pagan with no pants bleeding.

Together, we're a whole.

Set, yeah, together with fully clothed.

He comes back with a bunch of like workers from like who were actually clearing paths below because they know, like every every cycle, some of these paths came out, give out and become unsafe, and in fact, the one that fell they were like about to take out.

But so Nick, So now we have a shirtless and again page five of the second chapter, we have a shirtless attractive boy comes running back, and so Pagan's like the girl, the girl was all right, you're fine, you must be she pieced out, you must be Nick, and Kate gives her ship.

The whole time she's like, yeah, she ran off completely ungrateful, but Piso, yeah, but Nick like tells the workers that they can go back and everything's cool, and he's so relieved, and they pick up very clearly that Nick is like obsessed with.

This girl, the girl that he was walking, the girl that he was.

Walking with, and he's like, well, if she was, if she's late again, she loses her job.

She's already been worn, and they're like, so fucking what.

But they find out later that like she needs that job.

It's the only thing that is keeping her okay.

So she's not a student.

That's she's not their third roommate.

No, she's not their third roommate.

I assumed she was as well.

She must be all right to rush off like that, said Kate scornfully.

But Pagan isn't all right.

Look at her hands, and Pagan's like, don't make a fuss.

Look at her pans, look at her pants.

But no, Pagan doesn't want to make a big deal of it.

I'm perfectly all right, said Pagan weally, weekly wincing as he touched her left arm.

Let's get out of here before more of the mountain disappears.

Yeah, let's so Nick is explaining for u for for uh, it's Judy right, Yes, yes, she's a scholarship student.

So she's going to the school, but she's not living on She's like has to keep this job and she like lives in a fucking like closet or something off of the Yeah, because there's a hotel, a really fancy hotel nearby, and she's like working there and is like an exchange student.

Got it?

Yea, So she's she's explaining why she's so cannot lose her job.

She's an exchange scholarship student.

From America and she hasn't any money, so she's working as a waitress at the Chess chessa At the Chessa, Nick explained, so slowly they moved as they Nick explained, as slowly they moved down the path.

I don't know how she does it all.

She works so hard and she never seems tired.

She always Oh, she's always terrific.

Fun.

Are you a student too?

Nick was obviously English in a way.

I'm a stagire an exchange waiter at the Imperial.

What's an exchange waiter?

So Nick explains that he is on like a work exchange.

So there's a waiter at the Imperial, One of the Imperial waiters, that's the hotel here is working at his place in London, at the Savoy.

And they hear Savoy and the girls are like very starstruck because it's such a fancy place.

Again, they just kind of know it by name.

Do you know what?

I love?

What running ads?

Let's do it?

So Kate is like, oh my gosh, what's it like at the Savoy?

Kate asked round.

Eye Airport Hojo at the Airport Hojo into the.

Elon Musk Memorial Goodness.

So Kate is like round eyed at the thought of working in such sophisticated surroundings, and then this was so great.

Nick goes on to explain how fucking disgusting working at the Savoy is.

Oh, I bet hard work hot.

The restaurant kitchen was above ground, so we had windows, but the poor bastards in the grill kitchen worked in the basement and never saw the light of day.

We cooked on red hot old coal ranges, and there was sawdust on the floor to pick up the spilled fat so you didn't slip on it.

You sweated so much that you drank anything that came your way, water, milk, as well as your beer allocation.

You never stopped swinging swinging liquid.

Why did you leave the Savoy an ass?

Can you possibly stand to leave?

Yeah?

So Nick is like to continue my course because it fucking sucked.

I just told you realistening.

But yeah, I love that how much like opulence, like places like like wonderful hotels and things are so forward facing.

Yeah, like we immediately know what that and that comparison is really smart because then it also sets the tone for how fancy the place he's working now must be, so that it enriches the environment that we're now in.

I think that was really cleverly written.

To Yeah, it's all very cleverly written, and it sounds like it.

I wonder if that is from any kind of experience, if she dropped that in there because she knows what it's like behind the scenes at the Savoy or whatever.

Like, it does make you wonder because so much of that opulent stuff is made for the guests and the servants, like live in squalor.

Well, yeah, I mean, isn't that an allegory in and of itself of like billionaires shouldn't exist because it's off of the backs of this kind of.

Exact anything that's that like opulent up front like.

Offering behind the scenes for sure.

All right, So they continue their conversation with with Nick.

So they found out that now Nick is a waiter on exchange and Judy is and Judy is a.

American exchange student.

She's on a scholarship and she's got to keep her.

Job or she'll be able to come here.

Yes, she's very self made.

And then later Pagan was propped up in bed the last chocolate declare in her right hand.

Her left hand was bandaged and her arm in a sling, and Kate is pissed still about.

She's very protective of Pagan.

She's like, like, you heard her and you didn't even say thank you?

Uh.

And Kate's like, are you still in pain?

But she's kind of fussing over and and Pagan is like, no, I can't for the thing after that injection.

They give me propofule.

It was incredible.

It's amazing.

I think I'm gonna die.

What I can't bear is that Paul carried me up and I never knew about it.

You wouldn't lie to me, Kate.

So she fainted on the way home.

Kate, he really did pick me up in his strong arms and hold me to his manly chest.

And no he didn't, said Kate.

No normal man could carry you up the stairs like that.

He staggered up with you.

I was afraid he might fall backward on Matron and me.

Pagan gave a voluptuous sigh of regret.

So they so her the hottest guy the like this ra essentially at the place picked her up and like carried her.

And she's like, he carried me dainterly, like a little baby, and she's like like six feet tall and muscular and like they describe her as like big, like a built like a tower.

Yeah, that's why she was able to haul Like Nick couldn't get the girl, but Pagan did.

So she's wasn't she like an English farm girl basically?

Yeah, yeah, she comes from English stock.

Yeah, but she's she's a big English She's a big bitch.

Like she's just big and and she wants to be delicate and danger No, bitch, he fucking logged your ass up here.

Fireman carried you and die.

They actually describe it as a fireman's carry.

Thank you.

Yeah, tell me what happened to you know?

Pagan begs and he's like, oh, you were too heavy, so he pulled you out of the gutter and hauled you over his shoulder like a big sack of crap.

And I mean she's she's just like being very honest.

She's like, no, he did not daintily carry your ass up here.

He fucking Also, it's kind of diabolical to have like hot male staff or ras or whatever working at an all girls boarding school.

That is interesting that you bring that up, because there actually is something nefarious to the hotness level of some of the people at the school.

I like that.

Yeah, it's kind of there's a like there's a plot of foot later on that.

Like the students are all particularly beautiful.

Know that the staff is that some of the male staff is particularly beautiful.

Weird, you know what, I'm just put a pin in that.

You locket that you clock, keep it, cock it and keep it all right.

Suddenly the door crashed open, and the Swedish matron stomps in behind him her wait is he he?

The matron is a he?

Yeah, I guess the matron is a heye.

Behind him stood a plump girl.

I assumed it was a woman.

Behind him stood a plump girl wearing a navy coat.

Her brown eyes looked anxious as as she smiled.

She had bug teeth.

Matron scowled.

It's forbidden to sit on the beds.

It's forbidden to eat in your rooms.

It's forbidden to a priinail polish anywhere except as the bath room.

She turned on her heels and left.

It was a one.

Maybe it was a type of bitch, said Pagan after she leaves.

She just fucking call it bitch.

Parle glaze a little.

But I'm French and come here to learn English.

The new girl says, I'm Maxine best.

God, there we go.

I think they all are like multi lingual, so I think they all speak at least two languages because they're English French.

They're speaking English French.

Some of the South American girls speaks Spanish, so there's a bunch of languages floating around the school.

Okay, So but she's like, I'm here to learn English, so I'm gonna speak only English with you guys.

And then they're like, nobody learns English here.

Nobody speaks French except one Greek girl, and that's because nobody else speaks Greek.

Man you pouvn's practice castuvu.

Pagan's French was atrocious, as if to prove she was right.

Yes, And then they look at Okay, Maxine takes her clothing out of her share like and they and they freak out, must be rich, gasp, Pagan, they're divine.

No, I'm not rich, Maxine said, but I am lucky.

I have an aunt.

And they go on to describe and I'm gonna just skip over this, but it was all great.

How Maxine's aunt was like, well, like, all right, listen, no point in spending all of our money.

After you're dead, we are gonna drop big bucks to put you in nice, stunning shit so you can get a solid husband.

All right, we're gonna put our money up.

We're gonna And there is this delicious like description of clothing midnight blue wool coat and two huge buttons glowed like sapphire chantilly lace blue wool town suit.

Yes, apricot wool dress that flared tactively over their Maxine's hips.

So they go on this like exquisite detail, like jewel description of all of her outfits, and they are freaking out.

And the next part of the back laugh so hard at Kate was trying on every stitch that Maxine had brought with her, and even though Pagan couldn't try them on because her arm was in plaster of Paris, she hopped around, thrilled in the glamorous clothes.

Maxine was impressed by Pagan's height, her hair, and her exuberant high spirits.

I say, Kate, silver high heels.

Oh Maxine, your feet are sparrow sized, dammit.

So they are like jumping around like having a ball.

I'm excited to try on all this beautiful clothes.

And there and Pagans like, fuck these shoes are and now I picture the two girls and uh Chris Farley at that food court buck, I'm storming pan as like a six foot tall hymn.

Yes, great, I love it.

Not fooled by this, Maxine could see that Pagan was used to getting what she wanted.

Oh so, so Pagan is like, oh, I I long for something pretty and and and Maxine is like, fucking you long for something pretty?

Yeah, right, You're used to getting your way.

I know you're spoiled.

So Maxine correctly clocks Pagan that she is uh used to getting what she wanted.

How strange that she would be a friend to Kate, who seemed so quiet and ordinary looking, even mousey despite the purple toes.

They're fancy polish.

They were obviously fond of each other, and Maxine quickly found out that they had been to at school in London since they were ten.

Okay, so they're like lifelong friends.

Yeah, and I have been through some fucking shit together, including the war.

Yeah.

That was not the only reason that Kate and Pagan were friends.

What the two girls had in common and what had brought them together originally, was that they were both in different ways outsiders Kate because her father was so very obviously very rich, and Pagan because she had been brought up to live a life that no longer existed the old She's from old school aristocracy, and it's like the world is kind of changing around her family, and her family doesn't really know what to do about that.

Her world of privilege had disappeared forever, together with the wrought iron gates of the manor, which, like the saucepans and the mining cottages, had been melted down to make guns in the nineteen forty.

Wow.

So they're like life was kind of stripped away from them, like even the beautiful gates of their manner used to make weapons.

Yeah, so her speech and her background were so different different, So Pagan sticks out for being like two upper cross and Kate sticks out because her dad is your rich new money dad is new money.

So they spend the rest of the evening together just kind of getting to know one more.

Okay, So next the next morning, morning bell at seven, Breakfast at seven thirty, lessons from eight to twelve.

Pagan mumbled as Kate cut her lamb chop into little pieces.

This is at dinner voluntary sport from two four from two to four thirty and after that study time till six thirty, then supper and lights out at ten.

No work over the weekend, church optional, Kya take care Cocka and she does shitty French.

It is revolting, said Maxine, with deep sincerity, like your French never man.

Monsieur Chaden told my mother that my accent was excellent, said Pagan, cheerfully.

So I love it.

Yeah, that's great, um uh true.

I just want to read all of it, so but I can't read all of it.

So the girls are chi chatting and then they talk about the head master, this guy named Shadan Shadeen, and he has a fearful temper.

He super explodes and like completely flies off the handle.

So the girls are like warning each other.

So now they're starting to there.

At dinner, they're sharing little gossip with the new girls and they're all like trying to like navigate, like how are we gonna be up here in the Alps and like get through this with minimal conflict, And She's like, fucking this guy is a terrible temper.

But the thing that really sets him off is if he ever catches you out after hours.

Oh okay, so there's just break curfew, don't break curfew.

So there is this like kind of almost they're gonna break curfew guarantee, oh for sure.

But there is an interesting little kind of layer that is laid in here that's like, don't go out after dark.

That's a big deal.

Will get just expelled.

Yeah, and that's kind.

Of like like no tolerance policy.

That seems kind of unreasonable.

It's extreme.

It's extreme.

So there's either something really sinister in the area or something really sinister about the head master.

Pin that and clock it because there's a little interesting little thing on that.

Okay, so the eyes are too hot and the head master is a monster.

Head Master's a monster.

Yep, there you go.

There was an odd silence.

Being expelled was fate worse than death.

The shame would pursue you your holy life.

So then we cut to that night.

They are after the matron's expection, and the matron is a lady.

So the house mother comes and checks them, and then Pagan creeps into the adjoining bedroom so they can chit chat.

Pagan climbed onto the end of Kate's bed and the three girls whispered until well after midnight, I know.

It's so sweet.

So they're like talking about how Pagan was an only child, talking about their brothers and sisters in Paris, Maxines brothers and sisters in Paris, and they just share some gossip about like another school.

All the girls of Paulina's are liars because they have to lie because on your homework sheet.

It's so cute.

They're like they trained them to be liars because on your homework sheet you have to write down how much time it took you to do it, and that they tell you it should only take twenty minutes, but it takes everybody hours.

Yeah, so everybody learns to lie at the bottom of the sheet and say it took me twenty five minutes.

And then they're all so they all have terrible eyesight because they're up at night like trying to do their homework.

They sure stop lying because then they'd probably change the homework.

But nobody is brave enough to seem dumb and like it takes some longer to do their homework than it should.

Oh, that's so sad.

It's just such a great little anecdote about like the kind of pressures that these girls are under.

These expectations and don't stand out, Oh, my god, don't stand out.

The High Mistress was a huge, commanding figure.

She moved like a ship.

He wouldn't believe she had legs.

So they just there's just so many cute little bits of them gabbing with each other in bed, like late at night.

I just thought it was cozy and delightful.

So then we go from sweet, cozy, adorable, and now we get Kate's backstory.

Oh, it dropped dark as fuck.

Yep.

Kate's father had wanted her to have the sort of education he hadn't had himself.

He wanted the best.

So they're the new money family.

New money family, he wanted the best.

Kate's quiet, lady like clothes came from Dubin and freedmen because little princesses clothes were bought there, doubles and trebles, doubles and prebbles.

So we have like a solid page of Kate talking about how in her head, this is a flashback of her we're now in her POV.

She's thinking about how her father wanted her to have the best of everything, but he was new money and he didn't like know his family didn't know like, how are we supposed to project status?

So what they started doing is they started buying things from shopping wherever the royal family did.

So they the little princess the new her clothes come from Dibbenham and freebody, well that's where we're shopping, and their chairs and all these things come from like this very expensive place that the royals have visited.

And I think it was Kate in present day for this book, on our way to the meeting, who was thinking about, like, why do I care so much about my dad's approval?

He always told me I had to be like the top of everything.

Yep.

She's it has it has the.

She's like I hated that guy, but I wish he was.

Still alive for him success.

Yeah, I'm show him I'm the best.

Yeah yep.

And he he had been suffocating her with this his whole life.

She was a kid, yep.

Since she was a kid, and it's all about being new money and being.

Status of appearances.

And her family became friends with Pagan's family because they're like, ooh, they have the secret to the aristocracy.

And yeah, Pagan's family is like, oh shit, our way of life going down the ship.

They're like meeting in the middle.

It's so interesting, weird.

Yeah, so Pagan's mother's flat in Kensington where the simple furniture had come up from the country house and every piece was interesting and well proportioned.

And then Kate is like, could uh comparing that to her families like furniture that they just bought and just seems fake.

It's like a facsimile of this kind of opulence and kind of status that she wants so badly.

And Kate is driven to school in a Rolls Royce in a chauffeured car because her dad is like, that's what rich people do, but nobody else in school does that, so she like, so her chauffeur she's like, let me off at the end of the lane and she walks the rest of the way.

I don't want them.

And the other girl.

It's so funny because the other girls all see it, but they like at least are like okay, at least she knows not to bring that ship up to the front of the school.

She's trying.

Yeah, it's so interesting.

Yeah, showing off at major school was a major school crime.

So that the girl she gets by because the other girls like see that she's not trying to be a little demure about the status.

But unfortunately Kate's father showed off a lot.

Yeah, dad does all kinds of embarrassing cling for status ship.

Everything's got to be chopped, drawer.

We go on a cruise to Majorca, which he pronounces Majorca.

No, so Dad is just so embarrassing.

Oh god, yeah, which, by the way, as someone with a delightful but sometimes very embarrassing father.

My favorite thing that my dad does is when we're ordering in a restaurant and the waiter has any kind of accent, he mimics it.

No, yes, it can't help himself.

Their accent so embarrassing.

That's awful.

It was like that he knows you're not Spanish, Dad, Dad, Your dad trying to speak Spanish and Mexico was so adorable.

Oh god, so funny.

Oh no.

Pagan teas Kate about her father's secret hopes.

When you're marchioness, you'd better you'd better not ask the way to the loo.

You'd better say bathroom.

What does it matter, as long as it's clear where I want to go, asked Kate Crossley, but secretly she read Nancy Milford's novels and learned what established you as a U upper class as opposed to non you.

Kate was writing, Kate said, writing paper, not notepaper, napkin not serviette, and offered visitors a glass of sherry, not a sherry.

She also practiced altering her accent to a clipped, languid drawl, but she soon realized that it was hopeless.

The upper classes seemed to speak the King's English, but in fact they spoke a secret language full of subtle references you could learn only in the cradle, in you upper class circles.

There was only one thing worse than not knowing these subtleties, and that was pretending to know them, aping your betters.

One little slip and this was apparent.

All she had to do was refer to the yoyl Rot Yacht Squadron as the Royal Yacht Club once, or hang family photographs on the walls instead of propping them on side tables and silver frames from the aspre and you were.

Doude ah the pressure.

Yes.

So She's like, there's like this like code that these people have to identify themselves as old money, and it's just impossible to learn it all they'll clock you.

The fact that she already knows that, like her home, feels like a fact simile means she's plagued by this.

We're not part of the U.

Yeah, And then this happens.

This is Kate remembering her childhood, remembering how she learned, how she met Pagan and became friends with their family, and then this happens.

M hm.

Kate was naked and about to step into the bath when the door opened and Pegan's mother enters.

So this is after they go they're out playing, like playing like a sport they placed they were playing sports or something.

They come back and she's taking a bath and Pagan is out doing something else.

So she's just alone in Pagan's house for a minute.

Kate was naked and about to step into the bath when the door opened and Pagan's mother entered, wrapped in a white terry robe.

Somehow, Kate knew her presence was not an accident, and she was nervous.

Instead of apologizing and backing out as one would expect, Miss Trelawney moved towards her, and Kate grabbed a towel as the hostess smiled, droplets of steam beating her scarlet lips, and she came closer.

Kate could distinguish the aroma of gin.

What lovely little breasts, said Missus Trelawney in a husky voice.

What a girl's body is so much more delicate than a boy's.

Don't you think most men don't appreciate that.

Of course, they don't appreciate the exquisite tenderness of the breasts, the nipples.

Clutching her towel around her, Kate backed into a small space against the window between the washbasin and the lavatory, where she was actively trapped.

I expect you've noticed.

And suddenly she reached out with one manicured hand and squeaz Kate's nipple.

What Kate was frozen with horror, unable to move to her bewilderment and mortification.

She felt a sharp thrill in her groin.

Oh no, so this mom makes this like weird pass but she gets a little excited, and his response is it surprises her.

Benn does not mean that that's consent at all to control everything our.

Bodies do, but it is deeply confusing to poor Kate's.

Of course, she could see the pores of Missus Trelawny's nose, the drooping, fleshy folds of her eyes black beaded with mascara.

Then Missus Trelawny closed in on her, clutching Kate with one hand while she tried to pull away the towel with the other.

She bent down so Kate could see the white line of her head where her hair was parted.

Her tongue moved swiftly like a snake's towards Kate's nipple, while her fingers slipped into Kate's crotch with a strength that was at once painful and exciting.

What the fuck?

For a few moments, Kate felt erotically hypnotized.

Then her knees buckle and she slid to the floor, pushing the woman away.

Gasping.

She brought a knee up in her chin, prepared to kick at Missus Treilannie if she pounced again.

Kate said nothing, but her eyes glittered with fear and anger.

So what has her best friend's mom has best man's mother sexually assault attacks her in the bathroom while she's drunk on gin and just just this crazy out of the blue, and then what happens and.

Not to mention she's a child.

Yeah, she's a tea like a teen like a teen girl.

Yeah, and she okay, So Pagan's mom is in the fucking Epstein files.

Pagan's mom is an Epstein islander.

Holy shit, so shot the fuck.

So missus Trelanni likes, She's like, okay, so she's not into it.

And then she backs away and goes, I'll leave you to bathe in peace, and she just disappears and never says anything ever again, pretends like it just never happened, which Kate is like, holy fucking shit, what the fuck just happened, and like goes out of her way to like, I not be around her, not be alone with her for like weeks and weeks and months afterwards, She's like fucking terrified that this woman is gonna try something again.

But she never does.

She never makes any mention of it or what's this like shocking bit of violence that just sort of like disappears into the mist of her life after it happens.

What the hell?

That unfortunate few minutes we're destined to have a far reaching effect on Kate's future love life.

When in the passionate embrace of a man, she felt almost unbearable sexual excitement and then fear, repulsion and shame.

Yeah, trauma, trauma.

So that is how chapter two ends.

We have this beautiful, quaint, sweet almost like almost maybe contextualizes why they're so happy to like be away from home and on their own, because the adults in their life.

Have this obviously shows there is some deep disturbance in both families.

Yeah, her Kate's father treats her like shit and is obviously struggling with his own identity as an asshole.

As a result, it's like a persistent kind of trauma.

And Pagan's mother is a sexual predator.

And a pedophile, is a fucking.

And probably an alcoholic shrink monster.

Yeah, and yeah, right right, she's clearly self suppressing horrible things and and like self medicating and yes, and feels empowered to just attack one of likes it's crazy, it's it's disgusting, it's like and then just pretend like it never happened, just let it go.

And and she's like what she gonna do, say, say some shit and like derail her father's like social climbing.

This is blowing my mind.

And also it's just so sad because we're very shocked by this story, but this is.

Not like an unfore common experience for super common experience.

I just think the more I mean, obviously, with what's going on in the news these days, I feel like, you know, an unfortunate side effect of all of us being in the news right now is that, like other survivors are coming out with their stories and speaking vulnerably about their stories, and it's a shocking amount of good and I think I was less surprised about it.

I think I was less surprised about it during the Me Too movement because, like I, I am a woman, so I've had experiences throughout my adult life specifically, but like since I was sexually active, basically that I reading other so many other women coming forward is like, well, of course, because that this happens to all women.

But there's something particularly tragic and horrifying to now see so many stories from so many people who were abused or attacked as children.

Means and teenagers are children.

It's one of them, no matter what that fucking Fox Newslady wants to say, holy.

Shit, what a yeah, yeah Jesus, but yeah.

It's just it's really devastatingly common.

It is unfortunate to know that there will always be really sick people out there, and that how.

Made worse by living in a society that doesn't take that seriously.

And and how people with power will find ways to insulate themselves from consequences.

It's just like the Catholic bishop shop.

Yeah, It's like it's it's it's not that being a Catholic predators you a predator.

It's that predators are preak out protections of powerful systems.

And although I'm serting to think maybe being a politician does make you a predator, I mean, being a powerful person does make you more of a predator.

I think that there is an acceleration of maybe some quiet but exact to sting tendencies.

Do you know who Vince McMahon is, Yeah, the w W.

Yeah.

I almost with a guy like him who's just so despicably a pervert and a disgusting, like degenerate, I almost wonder if he was one of those people who's like he found the bottom of his own depravity and was just like.

You know what, I can go deeper.

I can go deep like Jim digging, like just finding ways to be more disgusting.

God.

Yeah, so yeah, I almost wonder if it's like, yeah, maybe just it lets you go past, like once you've had every decadence, maybe you gotta get more disgusting.

I do think that there is something to that, Like I think about that with the people that we're seeing in the in the Epstein file, where it's like some of these people have reached like the very top of access to everything, protection through power and money, is.

No consequences for so it's like, ever, why would we ever?

Why would we stop when nothing is off the table, because we run it all.

I'm immune to shame, I'm immune to consequences.

There is no bottom.

Yeah, there's no bottom.

So we have to hold these systems accountable because when there's no bottom, then you get an epscene.

Set it on fire, Set it on fire.

Okay, so that's chapter two.

What a fucking roller coast.

It's a very Cransian move to be in this like idyllic, beautiful story book setting and then absolutely smash you into a wall with some of.

The most devastating shit you've ever read.

It's like this absurd shifting without a clutch.

It's like this crazy.

It's like a roller coaster that's not working right, we're like those oh you know, yeah, you're going too fast and to stop too suddenly.

So that's what this book feels like, is it's like the between the opening sequence, the very disturbing realities of a of an unlike properly read elated, uncontrolled like abortion like procedure and beautiful, opulent women in New York, and then a beautiful, idyllic, fun boarding school with fun girls and sexual assault predator who doesn't fear repercussions.

Like, wow, yeah, these girls live in this like bizarre sandwich between crazy stuff, and I think that that like whirlpool is just kind of like what they live in is it's it's it's the best of times and it's the worst.

I mean, I really will say, like it makes you trauma bond with these characters in a way that is very effective.

It just feels real like like that that that moment and the fact that she's keeping it a secret and is burying it, and then we get to experience it, but we know that none of her friends know any of this.

The best friend has no Pagan has no idea that her mom did this, And again it's like they never do it once.

How many of Pagan's other friends.

Did she fucking attack?

All right?

Anyway?

So it it is.

It feels very real, it feels very authentic.

We've i mean, many of us have had shit like that happen and you don't forget it.

No, So yeah, there you go.

That's chapter two.

Wait what and.

All right?

Chapter three.

The noise of a piano, the chink of China, an occasional clear laughed sound laugh sounded by the voices of the Great Hall of the Imperial.

People had been drifting in since four o'clock for tea or cocktails under the serene gaze of an oil painted Madonna.

The bridge hostess was checking her list, and at the backgammon board, the first dice rattled in the corner.

Prince Ali Khan was earnestly whispering into the ear of a raven haired girl.

Beyond him.

The young, slim Elizabeth Taylor reached for her fourth slice of shock.

At it was not actually Elizabeth.

Yes, it is the Elizabeth Taylor.

She goes to the Swiss boarding school.

No, she's not in this.

This is not sorry, this is not the Imperial This is that that super fancy Swiss Alps like hotel nearby that people, Oh my god, that people come for too.

Sorry.

Yes, we're in the Imperial Now, we're in the hotel, the fancy ass Swiss Alps Hotel.

And she's she's reiterating that it's so fancy.

Taylor is standing there.

Prince Ali Khan is here.

I guess Elizabeth Taylor would not have been like sixteen in nineteen forty years.

Elizabeth Taylor is reaching for her fourth slice of saca, surrounded by a group of impassive henchmen.

Aristotle O Nassas swung through the swing doors, followed by a small, blonde young woman who clutched a pile of books under one arm.

It was a fatal entrance for the girl.

Okay, so Judy is trying to sneak in, but unfortunately she tries to sneak in next to Aristotle Nassas.

Yes, and she's late because she has fallen.

She fell off a cliff.

Got she fell off a fucking cliff.

And yeah, she's gonna lose your job.

She's trying to sneak and she's trying to sneak in, but unfortunately she sneaks in next to one of the wealthiest men in the world.

And so everyone turns and goes, oh my god, it's Aristotle Nassa's and her boss goes, oh my god, it's that bit who's late.

However, Judy gets clocked immediately trying to sneak in late.

Yeah, And she's like, fine, and you have no business in the Great Hall.

You are supposed to be in the seventh stack.

Case.

I'm sorry, but they kept us late at the language laboratory and I've got to change before going to my duty at the chesse.

I.

I just trying to save time and I fell off a cliff.

She doesn't even bother no, because you're not gonna believe me or can No.

Excuse is an excuse at the Imperia backstairs, WHOA.

So instead of taking the elevator to the sixth floor, Judy had to plot one hundred and twenty two steps, then run the last two flights of the sloping attic under the roof that was subdivided by thin partitions into shoebox cubicles for the staff.

So she lives in a mouse hole in the wall in the attic of a hotel that the wealthiest people in the.

World and walks through a treacherous terrain to go to and from literally.

Almost die on the way here.

So she talks to talks to Nick.

So the two of them live up in these dorm areas so kind of like across from each other.

So they that's where they met, and they're very fond of each other.

Uh and he Nick is about to take his vintner's exam and the two of them are just talking about when we'll have time to meet up, and he doesn't get to see her enough.

And obviously Nick is very smitten, very smitten with Judy.

So Judy is fucking exhausted, as obviously she is, and she hit she's only hanging on by a thread, and she had only been hired on on a provisional basis at a wage lower than all the other wager.

But she's like, fuck it, I'm doing this and she's awesome.

Maxine and Kate and Pagan were already sitting in the chess chessa in the chessa, I don't know what it is with a fourth girl who had been in maybe yeah, maybe it's a restaurant.

Yeah, with a fourth girl who had been invited for one reason and one reason only.

She had a brother at les Monet.

However, Pagan had already decided half an hour ago.

If Nigel was anything like his silly cow of a sister, there was no point in getting to know him.

Daddy, Daddy's okay, sorry, I have to do this better, says She's really changed Nigel.

He's made unbelievably good contact.

Francesca droned on.

Deddy says he looks upon the fees as a good investment because he wants Nigel to have an international outlook.

And le Monee you only meet people with money and names.

All of the oil children go there.

You know, it doesn't look like a school checking out Castle un lac Lemone.

She bid into a cream cake, can go to Geneva or less than at the evenings off and they're allowed away for the weekends if the pents give them permission.

Francesca took another t Gray and they.

Have plenty of wab to do, but they're not cooped in like us here on Dais.

And of course the US can come to the Saturday night dances every morning.

Every Saturday night during the winter public dance is held in one of the hotels.

You know.

Also, Nigel only goes to the smart ones at the Imperial or the Palace.

We've never been to a dance kids.

In fact, we can't dance.

They fucking hate her and they want her to go away, and she just keeps talking about Diddy and Nigel.

Then they fucking hate her and they want her to go away, and they're so mean to her, and they like get here, all right, So that's really funny.

One of the women lay Morenet boys coming here.

They're in the Gustad for three months from January, married too much, and then Pagan goes.

That reminds me, Pagan said, lying quickly.

Matron asked me to tell you to go to the post office, Francesca.

There's a parcel waiting there for you, with three fanks franks to pay on it.

Francesca squealed in anticipation, paid her bill and rushed off.

I couldn't stand much more of her, Pagan said loudly.

There's no package there.

No, she just lied, lied.

He said.

There's a dead end road and the night dead and knight.

Be careful, someone will follow cliff.

Jump off a cliff, you dumb bitch.

You and Diddy neither could, I said the tiny waitress.

Pagan turned around and suddenly realized that the girl in the traditional Swiss costume was the girl they'd rescued off the cliff.

So they meet her again.

She's their waitress.

Yeah, now they're going to become best friend.

And they do.

Uh gravely, she said, you saved my life.

Well, I'm glad you realize that.

And you've broke in your arm.

No, only sprained the shoulder, said Pagan.

Are you all right?

Hardly a scratch, but I was really frightened.

My knees wobbled for hours afterwards.

I don't know what to say except thank you.

I know I shouldn't have rushed off.

It's okay, Nick explained.

Pagan said, you may be all right.

Kate snapped, but Pagan wasn't.

She fainted and her poor hand, as well as her shoulder were turn to bits.

She was kept in bed for two days.

Well, shut up, Kate.

There's no point making her feel guilty.

After all, she didn't fall off the clip on purpose.

Yeah, let it go.

The dialogue is actually quite sparkling, and it's all very cute and charming.

I didn't even fall off the ground, gave way beneath me.

Well, let's forget it, Pagan said embarrassed.

Hey, look who arrived, and then she waves to Nick, who's coming in?

Did you say it was older than the rest of the hotel had once been a seventeenth century farmhouse, so it's like a yeah, it's like a cafe, a thing that's like set up around the hotel.

I can't talk anymore, said Judy, But Nick and I are off on Sundays, and we'd love to meet you properly, and thank you properly, and I've got something for you.

She hastily refilled the cups of hot chocolate and dashed off with her tray as Nick gazed after her, clearly besotted.

So they set up a meeting to meet.

The four of them are going to meet and chat later.

So the following Sunday afternoon, the Chesse doors burst open.

Incomes Judy, incomes Nick.

Hi, there, she calls, and she presents Pagan with a large gift wrapped box in a white satin ribbon.

Inside was a pair of scarlet knitted knee socks with leather soles.

Pagan was delighted they matched my red silk sling, she said, insisting that Tate put them on her immediately.

So she made her something to go with her red sling, because she has a stylish red sling.

That's really cute.

Why did your parents send you to the language laboratory and not the one one of the finishing schools?

And maximally brought Maxine with her, and Maxine is like, why didn't your parents send you to the length you know?

Why did you come for language?

And she goes, they didn't send me anywhere.

I didn't tell them I was entering for the exchange scholarship because I never thought i'd win.

And what I did.

My mom was furious.

She thought fifteen was too young to leave home in any way.

She can't understand why I want to learn foreign languages.

The pastor of the Lutheran church here is supposed to keep an eye on me.

He seems to think I'm going to be an African missionary, so I'll need French and German for all the quote heathens of the Belgian, Congo and East Africa, Oh Jesus.

And Maxide's like, and you are and aren't you?

And Judy's like, no, I'm going to Paris, so she's essentially Judy is like, no, I'm lying to my mother.

I'm lying to this shitty priest who's trying to send missionaries, and I'm just lying to everybody to just get here, learn a bunch of languages, and like, falk off to Paris, fuk off to Paris.

And the girls are like alone, will your parents let you go alone?

And Judy is like, they won't know.

I'll away.

I went on the mission.

I'll tell them when I get there and after I've got a job, otherwise they might say no.

And they're just like.

In odd, like we could never get away with that.

Kate Maxine with her rich parents, Pagan with her psychotic parents.

Fucking they are like, they're like, who are you right?

So they find this girl dangling off a cliss They pull her up and she's like, I'm a real girl.

Here's disinterested.

Family doesn't give enough fox about her to.

Like they don't fucking they did not know she was coming here.

Yeah, it's incredible.

They are, these poor girls.

The girls are like, you are magical, Judy, you are magical, and they're like they're they're like Judy's work sounded real, her life sounds real, Like her whole thing is like incredible to us.

So yeah, so they like are odd by Judy, and now the four of them met and become friends.

After that meeting, Judy was always saved the table at the chess always saved the table at the chessa for the girls on Wednesday afternoon when each took two hours to drink one expensive cup of chocolate, and Nick took them all out for tea on Sunday afternoons when they ate their heads off.

Judy's obvious independence immediately fascinated the other three girls, who envied her her energy, her stamina, and her cheerfulness, not realizing that Judy had to push herself every morning to survive the drudgery of her day.

This poor girl, she's working her ass off.

She's at school all day, she does at work all night.

She gets one day off a week.

Yeah, and she's on like a razor's edge of like, if I get fired, any of these things fall apart, it all falls.

Out, and I'm going back to my shit family that I have literally secretly entered into a foreign exchange program, Yeah, to get.

Off the same cottin as.

Yes.

Yeah, so she has high sikes here.

Yeah.

Then they're all like they're so cool, You're so cool.

I'm gonna die and he's count me.

Yeah.

So they talk a little bit about how Nick is like obviously basotted with Judy.

Does Judy?

Is Judy much less interested in Nick than Nick is in Judy.

I don't think Judy has a ton of time to like really care too much about what Nick, You're gonna fit into my life?

Here exactly exactly there is zero space.

And and then they kind of talk about how like Nick kind of seems to get that, but he's still obviously very enamored of hers, which makes all the other girls.

Puts all the other girls with him into this like big brother box yep.

And he's not interested in them, so they're not vying for his affection.

And they don't they don't they know not to try to vibe for his affection.

They don't necessarily care to, and he they know that he won't be vying for their affection.

It just adorably puts him into this position where he is often escorting three or four girls totally safely, and all of whom treat him like a big brother.

And he's fine with that.

So he's not being like he's not the like, you know, fifth Wheel or anything, but they all really like him.

He takes them out, he escorts some places, like they have this very sweet kind of relationship with him.

Nick was safe, He wasn't part of the sexual success or failure scalp collecting game.

Uh that the so the three hro and Dell girls instinctively developed a special way of flirting with Nick.

They could be outrageously provocative with Nick with no fear of consequences.

They could practice their art with his safety net, as it were.

So they all flirt with them, but it's all kind of it's very safe, and it's and like they know, it's all just playful.

Nick was flattered and delighted with his role as escort to three attractive but undemanding girls brought up in the stone cold confines of the traditional British boarding school.

So he almost comes from like almost feels like a military background where his boarding school was so strict that he just is so used to following the rules, following other people's leads that these girls just basically lead him around by the nose.

And he's totally comfortable with that.

Oh wow, Okay, Despite Nick, they were sometimes restless and thirsty for adventure.

So weeks go by and now they're like Okay, I'm bored.

Now it's the time to be bad.

Maybe we should sneak out the back door one night and go to some divine nightclub somewhere like the Green Go with a yawn.

One Sunday afternoon, after an enormous banana split, Nick looked up, and I love throughout this we get very delicious food, very delicious costumes, and in fact they're almost always described as like cream or apricot, all food stuff.

So it makes me like, maybe this book makes me hungry.

But they're like, we should sneak out.

Nick looked up shortly and sharply, and he's like you.

He looked up and charted, Sorry, Nick, you better be careful.

You know you'll get expelled.

And then they start talking about yeah, the head, headmaster, and then you know Shardon's driver, Paul, Yes, the chauffeur, said Kate.

No, he's a driver unless you're speaking friends.

A chauffeur is someone you hire for the evening.

A driver is your permanent employee.

So Pagan is still coaching Kate on how to be old money and not money.

Well, whatever you call it, you know what I mean.

Well, Shardon is a homosexual and his erb friend is Paul Shardon's back with one of sharon friend is Paul.

I know it's true because Paul is also carrying on behind Shardon's back with one of the chefs at the Imperial.

He So Nick is like now blushing so pink because he's describing.

These are my coworkers, the homosexual oh yeah, and the gay.

Homosexual And he's like getting so pink in the face just talking about this.

The next bit is just a strong rumor, but I've heard it several times.

You all know that Shardon really loves money.

Oh nod.

Well, it's rumored around town that if a girl is caught outside with this school with a boy, she's immediately expelled unless her father pays hush money to avoid the disgrace.

So they're like, we could pay off this driver to take us somewhere.

No, no, oh no, They're all like, this is so scandalous because if a girl We've heard the stuff about girls being expelled, like threatened with being expelled just for being caught out late at night.

And it turns out that like essentially Sharden like blackmails their family.

If you get caught out with a boy, you can pay for me to shut up about it.

Oh my god, he sounds like a dick.

I can't believe it.

How do people know?

Do people realize he's homosensual?

I could get it.

One of them gets it wrong, so cute.

All the waiters around know that Shardon's queer, said Nick.

For years he had a handsome male driver when he didn't need a driver at all.

There's a bar at the back of town called Le Couscous, some pretty odd types hanging out there.

I wouldn't walk into that place, I can tell you, But wouldn't.

He be afraid of being blackmailed, so he picks his targets carefully.

So he goes on and describes a blackmail ring where essentially, not only do if you get caught out does he even if you're not with a boy He says you were, it's your word against his, and then he blackmails your family for hush money.

But he chooses his targets carefully.

Only people who will right, only people who are like foreign, Only people who have enough money that it won't really matter.

He only asks for like another year's tuition.

It goes to him privately.

But he also he hires these handsome valets and fucking men who are bisexual, and they lure girls into honey traps no to be caught out late at night.

So if he can't get enough victims, that's what he has his hot boys around for EWW is to like lure girls into being caught late at night, and then he blackmails their family.

And I was like, this is so scandalous.

And so he's like, wait, is he the head is the head master?

So their head master is rumored to be a blackmailing queer homosexual homosexual driver his hot drivers homo.

I want to imagine that's Maxie because she's the youngest, So I want to imagine that they're all that they're all sitting there and talking about this and and Maxie, that's so cute, and it's so fucking cute.

But I couldn't believe that, Like there were these little drops about like about what a bad guy he is and his hot drivers and like kind of like the staff at the school seems hot.

It's because the the fucking head master is an evil queen.

Oh my god, the way that queer characters were so villainized.

Yeah, this like a monster.

It's pretty ghastly.

My god, this is yeah, so let me just read you this last chunk.

It was so great.

The girls hung on his words, fascinated by the awesome, wicked possibilities.

So for Heaven's sake, be careful, Nick, continue just in case any of these rumors are true.

I know it's gossip, but I keep hearing the same thing and through the hotel grape vine.

And that's not all.

Some fellows say that Paul is bisexual.

There was a pause.

Well, Nick explained what bisexual meant.

That made me laugh so hard.

Oh my god.

By now, the blushing they were blushing.

He was blushing fiercely and wished he hadn't started, but he was also enjoying this flattering attention.

It said that if a very rich girl gets out at night and she's caught by Shardon, and she might be deliberately seduced by Paul and photographed in compromising positions.

The barman at the Imperial told me that last year the father of one of the Brazilian girls had a few too many and started cursing Shardon.

He said he'd flown over just because the headmaster was blackmailing him, and he couldn't do go to the police because his daughter was involved in a scandal and if it leaked out, his wife would never forgive him.

He had to protect his family name and his daughter's reputation or she'd never make a good marriage, and so forth.

Then he said that he was never going to forgive his daughter for putting him in that position, because he couldn't risk calling Jardon's bluff.

There were photographs of his daughter with Paul Nick smiled.

They must have been pretty unusual pictures.

This is fuck.

He told the bar man that he paid thirty six thousand Swiss francs for them cash.

Damn, that is really diaboligy.

So again we get this sweet sweet stuff and this world of corruption.

So this theme of innocence and corruption swirling around and young people being sort of like just at the edge of this dark wood.

But there's this dark predatory they are.

They're so young that they're like hanging on this gossipy story with baited breath like this is the most exciting thing they've ever heard, but not old enough to understand how actually.

Like dark fucked ucked it is.

How the consequences of this, how deeply evil this behavior is.

Yes, for Pagan, Maxine and Kate life at le Hir, and there passed in a charming haze of sentimental naivete.

Although disguised in the bodies of women, the pupils were still children, exuding puppylike exuberance and energy.

They giggled and tittered and scampered and scheeked.

Yeah, they're fifteen and sixte and.

We're on the whole rather silly every once in a while.

The fact that she's English, can pop pop pops through lessons bored them.

Love fascinated them.

Passion was what they longed to study, and their only ambition was to fall in love.

There was a heavy air of anticipation as they prepared to become women.

Oh say it.

Okay.

Just for the record, I did try to hand off the stuff section to Amanda and I was okay.

So the girls are broken in two groups.

The bras of the American girls divided their breasts into circular stitched cups and thrust them skyword like twin ice cream cove hell yeah.

On their second Saturday after after every new non American people rushed and bought, brought, rushed and bought a French lace bra.

After that, the girls endlessly compared their new bouncing breasts and measured them and worried about them.

One of mine's larger than the other.

Why are normal, girl?

Why are mine lower than yours?

Serena's got hair on her nipples.

That's rough.

You can get more cleavage in the middle if you stuffed socks down the side.

I wish I had more.

I wish I had less.

Just a bunch of little girlies talking about their makes me blush.

Apparently it should.

It's just so cute and silly and innocent, and their boobies.

Vaccine tried to avoid mammary emphasis.

She had large, rather low breasts, and she hadn't yet become accustomed to them.

They were still embarrassed.

They still embarrassed her, so she pushed as much of them as possible under her armpits.

They gradually acquired a round shouldered stoop, so she's like trying to hide her big tis thing.

It's hard to be young like that and have like the biggest boobies in the group.

Be different in any way.

It's tough.

Yeah, oh my god.

Nothing that the other girls said would convince Maxine that her splendid proturberances were an asset.

And I guess the enclouraging her all the word choices, splendid protuberances.

Yeah, but I love that her friends are like girl, I wish we had those boobies.

Get those out.

Yeah.

She would turn scarlet as soon as she saw a group of workmen in the distance, knowing that she when she drew level with them, the men's mesmerized eyes would be following her breasts as she passed.

Fucking fair wide too.

To Comfort Magazine, her mother had tall her that her embon point would disappear when she breastfed her first baby.

With the thought of carrying those footballs around for years until they were battered on by a baby that had yet been conceived did nothing to console Maxine.

Yeah, what kind of consolation.

Don't worry when you breastfeed.

Fuck.

I love it so much, and I love Maxine so much more.

If you ever feel embarrassed, if you ever feel like shame or stupid or weak about something, just remember this passage about Maxine's big footballs.

I remember that.

Like.

Showing that kind of vulnerability makes people instantly fall in love with you if they're any good.

If the person is any good, your vulnerabilities will make them fall them fall in love with you.

I am now in love with Maxine, even if she hasn't had her big footballs battered on by a.

Baby, baby that hasn't yet to be conceived.

Yeah, She's like, I'm going back in a battering baby.

You can fix my big boobies, doesn't which for me, No it can't, No, it can't.

A total lie.

Yeah, yeah, I think the idea is that the baby will suck all the bigness out of your boobies, which is just so funny.

Yep, So the girls they talked about such matters every night after lights out.

Pagan would creep from her room, clutching her heavy goose feather quilked as a rap, and sit cross legged at the end of Kate's bed.

This woman does coziness better than I have read in ages and sit cross legged at the end of Kate's bed.

While they discussed all aspects of being a huama always, it was unanimously agreed that they would dare all for true love, which would instantly be recognizable as such.

It's just so so cute.

Yeah, okay, all right, we all want rich husbands, but we will dare all for true love.

Yes, agreed, let's make a pack.

I'm just picturing a bunch of Tina Belchers.

Yes, it's so cute.

Wait what else?

Yeah what.

Yeah, Next, they decided what sort of man they were going to marry, and sketch their personal prince charming to each other.

They played.

They discussed what their wedding dress would look like, and then the honeymoon was described.

In cozy darkness, they would draw deep breaths and discuss the fascinating mystery that none of them had encountered yet sex.

Oh, this was invariably romantic and never left you sleeping in on the damp patch.

Oh god, they never imagined Prince Charming with an erection and certainly not wearing a rubber.

No, so the passage is so great because it's like, invariably romantic and never let you left you sleeping on the damp patch.

They never imagined Prince Charming with an erection and certainly not wearing a rubber.

So they're thinking about the cozy side, the beautiful side of yeah, not any of the realities that you have to deal with about how like Prince Charming gets a boner?

Oh my god, Yeah, I do have to say that is really funny.

Because in that world of like idyllicism, you don't think about Ariel and Eric fucking you know, you don't think about Prince Charming and snow White going like but like that's part of that's part of it too, Like they did anyway.

I used to think it's all very funny.

None of them had explored, felt, or even seen the area between their legs.

I surprised they made it to fifteen sixteen without oh the repressions, yeah, the fear.

The universal lack of accurate sexual knowledge in the school was surprising, but all the girls at Ljarundel lied to their teeth about their sexual experience, which on the whole was nil, in order to avoid looking usophisticated.

Hitherto, Kate and Pagan's only sexual experience had been furtively fantasiaic about tampons.

To date, neither of them had used tampons, but Pagan had stolen the brochure.

This way, I wanted you to do all this stuff.

Now, this is like so eating the brochure about a tampon before you knew how to do it was the most overwhelming thing.

But Pagan had stolen the brochure from her mother's box and she and Kate had poured over the perplexing illustrations.

Yes, they were for flexing.

I remember the first time I put it where.

I remember the.

First time I used a tampon because I got my period.

I was thirteen, and I didn't I only used pads and I didn't use a tampon.

It seems much more like a good starter.

Yes, I agree, And now they make the like period underwear, so it's really great for like literal girls who are just fantastic.

Yeah, but we didn't have that then, so I only wore pads.

But then when I was fifteen, I was in Driver's h like in class and Driver's SID and I got my period and on bathroom break, I remember I went to the bathroom and my friend Abby, I won't say their last name was remembers blurb blurgan, and I asked her.

I was like, do you have a pad?

And she's like, no, but I have a tampon.

I was like okay, because.

I didn't want to make it.

I didn't want to admit that I'd had my period for two years and I'd never used one.

I was still using pads like a little girl.

So I accepted the tampon.

I remember I had read through the illustration, so I was like, in general, I know what I'm supposed to do, but I had no idea that I was supposed to like put it all the way in and then press the applicator down.

I gotta be honest, I couldn't do it, so I only played.

I couldn't figure it out.

I only put like the tampon a little bit into like the mouth of the hole, and then pressed through the applicator so the tampon tampon was not in all the way.

And then I viscerally remember I.

Had that long plastic thing.

I see stuff there.

But this is back before the plastic ones.

This was a cardboard one, which the vagina hars will know.

It's tough.

Now I'm a cupper, I only cup but anyway, well done.

I feel like shapes and potions afterwards.

So I sat through the rest of driver's head in pain because I could feel it, this dry, sick god like.

Hanging half in, half out.

And I was trying to.

Like adjust myself on the hard chair that I was sitting in to try and like push it in more.

Oh, it was awful.

It was awful.

So I got through class, I got home, I pulled that fucker out, and then I didn't use another tampon for like months, and then I think I ended up either asking my mom or my sister or a friend I don't remember, like how my.

Actually feel not so fresh Summer's eve, and she's like, no, never, gross you do.

And then my world fell apart and that's where all my problems escape.

No.

I can so relate to these kinds of conversations where it's like you're just saying it to fit in, but you.

Don't actually know what the fuck you're doing, and the.

Reality in fact, they're so repressed.

None of them had had ever explored their vaginas, none of them had heard of masturbation or knew that they had already experienced it.

I love this part so much, but I didn't want to read it.

Let's go, and here we go.

The fourteen year old Maxine bored and bored and wiggled on a chair during scripture class.

Yea, though though she had experienced religious ecstasy, so she's like wiggling around on a chair and she's like religious ecstasy, Nope, you just are accidentally masturbating.

I also the first time I masturbated.

It was an accident.

Oh totally.

You have no idea what's going You're just like, why does that feel good?

Like that's why you get little boys like myself in front of all the carria jets or helping.

He was like, whoa, what if?

I what?

What's all this?

Then?

Yeah?

You just get like or you you you like sit on a washing machine or something.

Yeah, I had like a.

Pillow between my legs and whoa, hold on, hold.

On, excuse.

What's these do?

What are these knobs and whistles?

Yes?

So right, So they they go through how each of them had masturbated before but not realized what was happening.

Oh god, uh.

Pagan scary the first time?

Well, yeah, it's surprising.

What is happening to my bobby?

It's divine, it's divine, truly, really just divine.

Pagan hunting on a borrowed mount with an unusually high fronted Saddles had once felt exalted with what she had thought was the divine through the chase.

Nope, nope, you came, you came, girl.

Kate had always loved climbing ropes at gym class because of the lovely tickle sort of itch you got when, having pulled yourself up arm of her arms, you slimmed down round with your legs crossed around it, thighs tensed and descent controlled by your feet act as breaks.

Once she'd had the feeling right at the top of the rope and had hung their swaying blissfully frozen, unable to move, and heedless of the cross clipped voice of Miss Haddock, an instructress who was used to who used was used to girls being frozen on top of the ropes, telling Kate to come God radio, that rope is just covered.

Maxine, being French and seventeen a year older.

Oh sorry, Maxine is a year older than that.

Yeah, I was wrong.

Range from fifteen.

Vaccine is a year older than them, but certainly more timid than the rest of it.

That's why I assume I thought she was younger.

You're older than Kate and Pagan was their unquestioned and respected authority on sexual matters, especially as she had been instructed boys were all the same, Maxine's priest had explained Tomcats they were only after one thing, and he wanted to let him get it because once they got it, they'd despised you for a lot of them.

Get it, Oh, boy swere that he loved you.

After get again, he would spurn you both privately and worst in public.

Jesus, Oh, then obviously he wouldn't respect you anymore.

If a really serious boy really loved you and tried to insist, well, he was just testing you.

The priest didn't say for what.

In some mysterious way, a man couldn't control himself.

So if he went berserk with sexual passion, it was your fault for being so attractive, which was called leading him on.

Wow, that might easily lead you to disaster.

For what could you tell your husband on your wedding night, I just love picturing this guy is like a disgusting, misogynistic piece of shit.

Well, you're not to save yourself and your husband.

The marriage would be a disaster for that, and therefore your life would be ruined because the man could always tell oh my god, this guy is a sadist, is a sick freak.

Oh.

It was strange that none of the girls queried the sexual double standard.

They accepted that a boy could be driven on control, be mad by passion, but it never crossed their mind that it was understandable if a girl felt the same way.

They accepted that as setting a sexual limit was the responsibility of the girl, not the boy, it was her job to control is lust, So girls would lean to chop off their own erotic urge.

A behavior pattern was formed, and after years of cutting off their natural feelings, many of those girls later found it difficult to proceed or even be aroused beyond that permitted sexual cutoff point.

The sexuality had been programmed and warped.

Wow.

Maxine insisted that Italian girls saved themselves for their husbands and at the same time let a man go all the way by using an alternative route for the journey.

You're inventing it, you revolting creature.

I don't know, maybe both.

Uh, you're inventing it, your revolting creatures, said Pagan.

Anyway, how can a man tell if he can't get his thing in?

That's proof that you are a virgin god.

Unless you are very sportive, or ride on the horse or bicycle, or do gymnastics.

Then it would be all stretched out.

What I have now you don't, Oh my god, it's too good.

Okay, even if you had a very serious bow who you might metamorphose into a fiance.

There was definitely rules of sexual etiquet.

Luckily Maxine knew them all and she shared her information after lights out.

Nothing on the first meeting the rendezvous, she said with authority, except a significant look when you say goodbye.

There was a pause.

They all practiced their significant looks.

Then after the second meeting, you would permit him to kiss you on the cheek and the next time a real kiss.

Let's if well, French kiss with the tongue.

Ass kate, classic, kate, kate.

Not until the fourth rendezvous Maxine had to admit that she had done it and hurried on to the fifth rendezvous, where, if the boy was serious, you might wish to go to the waist, a category that had two subdivisions, clothes and underclothes.

Personally, Maxine would never permit either, but intended to be prudent until she was married, and then after that.

I have my two d's, either clothes or underclothes.

You get too wire above the waist and two below the underclothes.

But with his thing firmly zipped up, you understand, Yes, what happened?

What happens under the clothes?

K again, what happens under the underclothes.

The boy strokes, the boy strokes the first.

The poise.

Yeah, third base is just playing with my pubs.

There's no actual there's nothing else.

You just get a little you get a little pew grab.

There's a lot of bases in this game.

There's like fifteen bases.

So many bases, you guys.

There was a further silence.

Well in the dark, they all furtively stroke their pubic.

Hair, nothing.

Like, what's this this supposed to?

This fucking doesn't do ship?

I hate this.

I wish I was a horseback riding.

Horse.

Ever fuck from my pew fucking.

I like the heart, I like the dy you're on a horse.

I like that batter.

Do what the horse does.

Wi I was in church, do what the rope does.

The seventh stage, so we're on the seventh base of wickedness, was letting okay, so.

The seven literally called the seventh seventh stage of wickedness was letting the boy go all the way pubes.

To the dick going in where what Yeah to recoop to recount.

It goes from nothing, no Ah, A significant look, look, kiss on the cheek, French kiss, A kiss, real French kiss with Tom asked kate, No, not till four, not till four french kiss.

And then a french kiss and then above the ways under and then and then above the waist underclose.

So that's five and six and then seven.

Is pube stuff is pubes stuff.

No.

Six is pube stuff, but it comes in varieties.

Okay, So five includes two D stuff over clothes and underclothes.

Six pube stuff cube.

Stuff, Seven is all away.

Seven is letting a boy in the seventh stage of wickedness?

Was letting a boy go all the way?

Going all the way would be ecstasy, of course, but it would be also be dreadfully dangerous.

Considering that every girl in La Hirndell was terrified of getting pregnant, Yes, it was surprising when it came to the point that they all felt a firm, almost religious conviction that pregnancy couldn't be inflicted upon them, especially not the first time.

God wouldn't let it happen to you, And anyway statistics proved it, unless, of course, you touched the stuff.

All the girls were terrified of semen, not the stuff.

They're all scared of semen.

Py fair, It only took one microscopic egg from all of those millions to get you pregnant, and the damn things could stay alive for four days, invisibly creeping up your panty legs.

Yes, so it is better to take no risks at all.

Don't even let them come on your knee because they'll climb off for the boy to take precaution.

But how revolt the use of that rubber thing.

It's called a French lettuce?

Oh, what said Pagan with authority.

No, it's called a capo and glass, corrected Maxine.

Whatever it was called, it led to another etiquette problem.

Do you look away while he was putting it on?

Did you pretend not to notice?

Or did you put it on before?

Or did he put it on before he arrived?

Oh no, in which case it would prove that he had not been carried away by your beauty, but that he'd really meant to do it all along.

Anyways, how was it put on?

I think the they I think they smoothed it out.

Oh I can't.

I can read the descriptions with the dialogue is sending me.

I think they smoothed it on.

When the thing is pointing upward, said Pagan, like a glove with only one figure.

He's not wrong, not very romantic, they thought, but they had to admit it was better than getting pretty.

Yep, being pregnant was well inconceivable.

Any unfortunate girls at whom Fate pointed the finger had to sit in a scalding hot bath and drink a whole bottle of neat gin.

A true friend would sit beside her in the steam to cheer her up.

Stopper fainting, drowning, or aching loud and drunken noises that could be heard by the matron.

Alternatively, you had to find a relatively large some of money and visit an old woman in the back street who would lay you out and like a plucked chicken, and pull your legs apart on her grubby kitchen table.

Then, without washing her hand, she would push a knitting needle up in you.

It was if you were rich, you could go to a private clinic where they would have anesthetic and the knitting needle would be made of stainless steel and sterilize, and everybody would pretend you were having your appendix out.

Oh my god, So.

There again we've got innocence cropped up against darkness.

Yeah, they are so.

I mean, it's a really awful reality.

But what they're kind of gossiping about was, yes, the way, and it certainly is the way again now in some places that don't have, say, access.

To abortion, is so sad, funny and believable and earnest listening to these girls talk about like what is up with their bodies?

What the basis?

What just is expected of sexual more is what what you what?

Boys are gonna want, what you're willing to let them do?

And they don't know anything.

No, they're all wrong about all of it because no one is helping them and no one is teaching them.

They think semen can crawl up your leg and find an egg in you know, then it's the egg.

Those little eggs get up inside of you and then the baby grows.

So the male is the xenomorphous with because both the both propagators.

It's crazy, it's so sad, but it is so charming.

And this is the point where someone should come in and be like, hey, girls, you've kind of you're old enough now to know the truth about all of this stuff, right, You've had your childish concepts and ideas, but now you're getting old enough to the point where it's unsafe for you longer safe for you know this stuff.

Yeah, and someone should be telling them that, and will Yeah, I don't think anyone is going to.

I think that they are going to get their first look at this stuff in the trenches, so to speak.

Oh so that is not quite the end of chapter four, but as you can take over, it was incredibly dense.

I could there was nothing I could skip that I haven't skipped, and so yeah, we feed off.

Probably the rest of the chapter is just more of them bonding and going through more of their like boarding school stuff.

I can't wait.

I know.

It's charming.

It's a delightful book.

It was fun to read.

It was even more fun to retell, you know, and I do worry about this season being epically long, So I don't care, just because, like I said, I didn't even get the two full chapters in this one.

So hey, we warned you.

Yeah, six hundred.

Pages, six hundred pages full continent, ten continents, fall, Women who don't Know how semen.

No.

I love about the idea of Semen is that it's also the egg, and that it's that mobile.

Yeah, that it that you are basically just an incubation house for an alien entity.

And that it's alive and it's coming for you.

She coming clown.

Well, great job, very lot, Oh I had.

It's the material.

It's so funny, it's so charming, it's and and it it does.

I love that it is presenting that like adorable, sweet, lovable girls in a house, but the big bad wolf is outside.

Yeah, there is a darkness.

There is a spookiness kind of looming outside, and you're just like, I just hope it doesn't get them, but it has already kind of like made its presence known to several of these girls.

There is a big scary.

I don't thinky thing be as significantly laid out if one of these gals or all of these gals didn't get caught by the.

Head Master at some point.

It does see be a head Master moment coming.

I think one of them should meet a boy next.

I'm excited.

What if one of them meets a boy?

What if father?

What if Nigel turns out to be a lovely a lovely man aftergel Lily's father did didty?

No, none of them can get pregnant for another ten years at least, because because Lily's like, what twenty eight, she's twenty eight, and if they're like forties late forties, Yeah, then they have to have that.

We've got another maybe eight years or so before any of the girls couldn.

Let's think if the oldest one is like forty eight in the present day, and maybe that's Maxine, so they have to seventeen twenty years ago, and so she has eight years Yeah, maybe like maybe less maybe maybe it's maybe more like four or five years for some of them, because if they could have her when they're no, probably yeah, No, I think the oldest is she's modern day is forty eight, and the other.

Then they have her when they're twenty, and the oldest one is seventeen, it's only like three or four years more before one of them could conceive Lily.

Yeah, but it won't won't happen in boarding school.

No, But that doesn't mean that there isn't dangerous.

No.

And I feel like the scandal, like the way that that's described, lends itself too heavy on the blackmail.

Yep, girl, I can't imagine.

I can't imagine anybody but uh like Kate or Maxine being targeted.

And but they're also laying the foundation of they spend a lot of time with Nick, even though it's not romantic.

They could easily be black, so they could be caught out with seeing you out with Nick and they're like, well, it's not he he's my brother.

He's my brother.

He's in love with Judy.

He would never do anything like that.

Well, that's not what I'm going to tell your father exactly.

So I feel like that's gonna where we get some.

Time, they have to kill Sardon, I hope keep it to themselves, and they are push them down the mountain and then they have.

A blood pact because they all know what really happened and they can never say it.

So they have more secrets beyond who is the mother.

That's the least of their fucking secrets.

They thought this was a I know what you did last summer.

If this turns into what I know what you did last summer, I mean, as if it couldn't get any better, well.

We'll have to wait and find out.

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