This is a DynaMic Network Podcast.

Hi, welcome to the DynaMic Duel Podcast, a weekly show where we review superhero films and debate the superiority between Marvel and DC by comparing their characters in stat-based battle simulations.

I'm Johnny DC.

And I'm his twin brother, Marvelous Joe.

And there are only four episodes left of the weekly show of DynaMic Duel after this one, which will be a team duel, our final Christmas duel in which we're going all out by pitting the Legion of Super-Pets against the Pet Avengers.

It is the pet duel to end all pet duels.

Yeah, typically, for the most part, around Christmas time, the show does a silly animal duel and this is like the ultimate version of that.

Yeah, I think there were only two years where we didn't do like pet heroes.

That was Alfred versus Jarvis and Keelix versus Herbie.

But those are like robot pets.

Yeah, exactly.

It still counts.

But we're going to tell you about each team's backstories before running the stats and finding out which team would win before that we're not going to break down the comic book movie news because we're recording this episode early and there isn't any yet.

Yeah, we're recording it early due to the upcoming holiday break.

This episode will drop just a few days before Christmas, so we just want to wish everyone a happy holiday.

As always, we list our segment times in our episode description, so feel free to check out the show notes if you want to skip ahead to a particular topic.

Our artificially intelligent duel simulator, AJ9K, has a quick message for our listeners, so listen up.

Hello, these are the final episodes of Dynamic Jules Weekly podcast, leading up to our grand finale on January 20th.

We hope you've enjoyed the past 10 years of Marvel and DC duels and reviews, and we'd love for you to stick with us as we count down these last episodes.

We're inviting you, the listener, to help us close out the show by visiting dynamicduel.com over the next few weeks and clicking the red microphone button in the bottom right corner to leave us a voicemail that we'll play during the final episode.

Tell us what first got you into DC or Marvel, how long you've been listening, a favorite episode or moment, or anything else you want to share about what the podcast has meant to you.

Your messages will be aired and responded to on the January 20th finale.

Again, head to dynamicduel.com and leave your final message.

We would love to hear from you.

Pip Pip Cheerio.

Thanks AJ9K, and thanks to everyone who takes the time to call in and leave a parting voicemail.

Be sure to tune into the other shows on the Dynamite Podcast Network this week, including the Konsole Kombat podcast, where hosts John and Dean simulate battles between popular video game characters.

In yesterday's episode, they found out who'd win between Pac-Man and Yoshi.

Over on the Max Destruction podcast, hosts Scotty and Gilly pet your favorite action heroes from film and television against each other.

On Wednesday, the Macho Twins are learning who would win in a fight between Santa Claus from Violence Night and Krampus.

That's going to be a really good one.

I'm looking forward to that one.

On the Senjoh World podcast, hosts Zachary Hepburn speculates on fights between fan favorite anime and manga characters.

In his next episode, Zach's revealing who'd win between Shigyo Kageyama, aka Mob from Mob Psycho 100, and Tatsumaki the tornado of terror from One Punch Man.

Visit dynamicpodcasts.com or click the link in our show notes to listen to all of the shows in the DynaMic Podcast Network.

And now that that's done, quick to the main event!

Alright, now let's find out who is going to win in the ultimate pet team duel matchup of the Legion of Super Pets against the pet Avengers.

Okay, the Legion of Super Pets versus the pet Avengers.

Of course, you may also know the Legion of Super Pets as the League of Super Pets because they had a film with that title a few years ago.

Oh yeah, that's right.

Yeah, they weren't called the Legion, they were called the League.

I'm assuming to tie them into the Justice League.

Why are they called the Legion of Super Pets in the comics?

Because the Legion of Super Heroes were the ones that assembled the team initially.

Oh, oh, interesting.

Okay.

Yeah, the pet Avengers have not had their own movie, nor is one slated, but a few of the people on my roster have appeared in films, including Throg.

He was like an Easter egg in the Loki show.

Lockjaw, of course, was in the God-awful in humans television series.

Lockheed played a really cool part in the New Mutants movie.

Oh, that's right.

And of course, Cosmo was in the Guardians of the Galaxy film, the third one.

And I guess Cosmo has been the most prominent pet Avenger on your team in terms of like on-screen media.

Right.

So not a bad showing for the pet Avengers.

I did really like the League of Super Pets movie that they put out, though.

I liked it more than I wanted to.

We reviewed that film a couple of years ago.

Well, the Super Pets have also had a cartoon starring Krypto and Ace.

So they're just better, like all around, you know?

Everyone knows them.

They're really popular, really cool.

It's so sad that most of them are going to be going over the Rainbow Bridge in the course of this upcoming fight.

Throg is going to send them there using the Bifrost.

I should probably save that for the speculation.

Yeah, what are you doing?

Now I know your plan.

But speaking of the speculation, first to explain the methodology behind our duels, let's go to our sentient dual simulator, Alfred Jarvis, 9000.

AJ9K tell our listeners how you go about determining a winner in our dual matchups.

Yes, of course, sir.

The way I determine a winner between the two teams is by running 1,000 Monte Carlo simulations between every character on each team using their statistics.

A Monte Carlo simulation is a probabilistic model used to determine outcomes through random sampling.

In this case, I randomize the statistics along a normal distribution as a way to simulate the many variables that can occur during battle.

The stat parameters are based on the official Marvel power grid, from which the DC characters statistics are extrapolated.

Additional stat categories are included such as range, damage potential, versatility and perception in order to create a more detailed and accurate simulation.

The results of the 49,000 simulations provide a percentage of wins for each character on both teams.

The team with the higher average win rate is declared the victor as they have a higher probability to win any given battle.

In an equitable pairing, neither team should win 100% of the matches.

The comic book stories have shown that there's even a way for Batman to defeat Superman, so the confidence rate of my method falls in line with the precedents that have been established in the source material.

My mathematical simulations are without subjectivity or bias.

Feats are not the sole consideration, nor are fan votes tabulated for determination of the winner.

Thanks, AJ9K.

Before we run the simulations, though, we like to break down each team's histories and rosters before improvising a scenario on how we imagine one of the thousands of simulations would play out, beat for beat.

And it is my turn to go first with the DC team's backstory.

So let me tell you all about the Legion of Superpets.

During a temporal crisis involving the alien brain globes, the Legion of Super Heroes, who you can learn more about in their team duel against the new mutants, determined that the beings were attempting to influence Earth's past through indirect temporal interference using the pets of high profile historical figures to counter the threat without destabilizing the timeline.

The Legion selected super powered animals whose senses and instincts could track and counter the threat with minimal disruption.

Under the coordination of Brainiac five with Saturn girl providing telepathic oversight and communication, several animals were gathered from different points in history and brought to the 30th century operating together for the first time.

Krypto the super dog, Strixie the super cat, Beppo the super monkey and Comet the super horse confronted the brain globes, disrupting and neutralizing their influence on the timeline.

Following the mission, Saturn girl formally designated the animals as the Legion of Superpets with chameleon boys, shape shifting pet, Prody the second joining the team before the animals were eventually returned to their respective eras.

Following the multiverses collapse after the crisis on infinite Earth's, the Legion of Superpets did not operate as an active team, though various super pets continue to appear alongside their individual allies pets such as Krypto and Ace the bat hound operated as supporting characters as did Wonder Romans pet Jumper, one of the battle trained Kangas raised on Themyscira.

Kangas sometimes referred to as sky Kangas were bred by the Amazon's for extraordinary leaping ability and long distance traversal capable of crossing oceans, hostile terrain, planetary bodies and even mythic boundaries in a single bound.

Jumper formed a bond with Wonder Roman and served as her mount during multiple engagements, particularly in conflicts involving mythological threats.

Jumper accompanied Wonder Roman both on and beyond Themyscira and soil, participating in confrontations with hostile forces and assisting during expeditions that required mobility and resilience beyond conventional transport.

Like the invisible jet, another prominent pets amongst DC's most well known champions was Toppo, an unusually intelligent octopus native to the seas of Atlantis.

After entering the service of Aquaman, Toppo became involved in numerous undersea operations, particularly those requiring infiltration, sabotage or interaction with Atlantean and surface world technology.

His dexterity and problem solving ability allowed him to manipulate machinery, disable control systems and operate complex equipment despite lacking humanoid form.

For a time, he was depicted as a colossal undersea monster known as a Kraken, but was later reverted back to being an octopus in continuity.

A variation on the Superpet team concept did appear in far future continuity during the events of the 853rd century.

In that era, animal based teams such as the Justice Legion of Super Zoomorphs and the Legion of Super Familiars operated alongside the Justice Legion A, a future incarnation of the Justice League.

After the Flashpoint event reset DC's continuity past and future, Krypto was alerted to a situation involving a rash of dog nappings across Gotham.

Enlisting Titus on his mission to rescue the dogs, Krypto went to Detective Chimp for help who recounted the Legion of Superpet's last mission in which Clay faces pets.

The shapeshifting Clay Critter died during a battle at Gotham Zoo with various villainous pets such as Dexter, the Red Lantern and Harley Quinn's hyenas, Bud and Lou.

Streekey the Supercat evidently blamed Krypto for Critter's death and initially refused to help Krypto on the new mission to save the kidnapped dogs.

Joined by Flexi, Plastic Man's elastic parrot, the trio tracked down the dogs and their abductor, a green-skinned alien who was attempting to free Earth's pets from their human masters.

When Streekey brought Batcow to the fray, the team was able to trap the alien and deliver the missing dogs to Wayne Manor, forcing Robin and Superboy to find their owners.

Later, after Batman was captured during a mission, Ace the Bathound was taken and imprisoned alongside other animals for experimentation, including a trained grizzly bear, a pickpocketing squirrel, a cybernetically enhanced chicken and an unusually fast tortoise.

After escaping confinement, the team tracked down and rescued Batman from the Joker and his underground fight club.

Though the chicken was killed during the mission, the other animals survived, living on the Wayne Manor estate, though Batman gave the tortoise to the flash.

Recently, Ace and Krypto attempted to recruit Nightwing's three-legged dog Haley, aka Bitewing, into the Legion of Superpets on a mission to rescue Streekey from an orbital satellite owned by Menagerie Man, who had been abducting animals to form a private army.

Alongside Jumper the Kanga, Badge the Squirrel, Gleek the Wonder Monkey, and Batcow, the Cow, Bitewing found Streekey in the Menagerie, while also managing to help free other super pets such as Flexi, Wonder Dog, Toppo, Dexter, Bud and Lou, Beppo the Super Monkey, and some Staro drones, among others.

After Menagerie Man's defeat, the Legion returned to Earth to help the abducted animals find homes, though Haley declined to become an official member of the team.

And that's the Legion of Superpets backstory.

Now, for my seven-member roster for the Legion of Superpets, I'm going with Krypto, Superman's Dog, who possesses all of his powers and is a representative of the original team, which was comprised entirely of Superman's pets.

I'm also including Ace the Bat Hound, Batman's highly trained canine operative, Jumper, Wonder Romans the Moskeren Kanga, with exceptional strength and leaping power, Badge the Green Lantern, the Squirrel-like alien protector of Sector 1014, and successor to Chip, who we had to duel with against Rocket Raccoon.

I'm also including Toppo, Aquaman's highly intelligent and stealthy octopus friend, the terrific What's It, a durable tortoise with super speed like the Flash, and finally, Flexi, a parrot with Plastic Man's shapeshifting powers, though it's unclear as to whether he's an actual parrot or a piece of Plastic Man that thinks it is.

That's hilarious.

We forgot to mention earlier when we were talking about the pets' cinematic appearances that Toppo played a sizable role in the Aquaman The Lost Kingdom movie.

Right, that's correct.

Although in that movie, his name wasn't Toppo.

Toppo was the task force that he was a part of.

OK, he was pretty cool, though.

I am surprised to learn that Robot Chicken used to be a member of the Legion of Superpets.

Yeah, I think it was supposed to be a cyborg analog.

The superhero cyborg from the time.

Yes, yes.

Yeah.

OK, so his pet is Robot Chicken.

Interesting.

It makes sense, though, because Robot Chicken is owned by Cartoon Network, which is owned by WB, which also owns DC.

DC has such a vast universe of pet characters, like almost every hero in DC Comics has some kind of animal analog that exists in their pet universe.

Yeah, almost.

Yeah, it's much larger than Marvel's.

But that's a good thing.

We don't want to make DC's larger than Marvel in general, my guy.

I don't think so.

I don't know about that.

I'm pretty sure they're about the same.

I'm talking about endowment wise.

You're stupid.

Let me go ahead and get into the backstory of the pet Avengers.

The story of the pet Avengers begins with Lockjaw, who is the genetically altered dog of the inhuman royal family created through experimental terror genesis and bonded to the ruling house of Aegon, possessing the innate ability to teleport himself and others across vast distances over Earth and space.

Lockjaw became indispensable to the inhumans as both transportation and protector.

Over years spent moving the inhuman royal family through political upheavals, exiles and interstellar conflicts.

Lockjaw developed a reputation for intelligence and judgment that went far beyond instinctive obedience.

You can learn more about the inhumans and their duel against the Wildcats.

The chain of events that let the formation of the pet Avengers begin when Mr.

Fantastic of the Fantastic Four arrived in Adalan, the inhuman city located in the blue area of the moon.

Mr.

Fantastic sought Black Bolt's cooperation in locating the Infinity Gems, which were six ancient cosmic artifacts tied to the fundamental aspects of existence that had begun resurfacing throughout the universe.

Unknown to Mr.

Fantastic and most of the inhuman court, Lockjaw had already encountered one of the gems.

Hidden within Adalan itself, the Mind Gem had come into Lockjaw's possession, enhancing his intelligence and granting him telepathic abilities.

Through contact with the Mind Gem, Lockjaw became aware not only of the existence of the other gems, but of the catastrophic danger posed if they were gathered by a single wielder.

By then reading Mr.

Fantastic's Slots, Lockjaw learned of Thanos and his past dominion over the gems.

Rather than alerting Earth's heroes or the inhumans, Lockjaw acted on the belief that a quieter, less visible approach stood a better chance of success.

Using his teleportation abilities, he set out to locate the remaining gems himself, choosing allies who would not draw attention.

Lockjaw's first recruits were animals already connected to heroes and accustomed to danger.

His first recruit was Throg, the Frog of Thunder, who wielded a fragment of Thor's enchanted hammer, Mjolnir, that granted him powers proportionate to the God of Thunder.

Throg was once Simon Walterson, a grieving human cursed into Frog form after failing to pay a fortune teller.

Living as the Frog Puttlegub in Central Park, he became a warrior in a long-running war between frogs and rats.

During one of Loki's schemes, Thor himself was transformed into a frog and crossed paths with Puttlegub, helping end the war.

When Thor returns to Asgard, a shard of Mjolnir was left behind.

Puttlegub proved worthy enough to lift it, transforming into Throg.

Lockjaw's next recruit was Lockheed, the small but formidable alien dragon who brought a long history of interstellar combat experience and loyalty forged through his bond with the X-Man Kitty Pride.

Lockheed originated as a warrior from a dragon-like alien species known as the Flock.

Renowned for fighting the parasitic Brood aliens, Lockheed left his people behind after saving Kitty Pride and followed her to Earth.

You can learn more about Kitty Pride in our Gypsy vs Shadowcat dual episode.

Next on the team was Niels, a cat who was exposed to extra dimensional energy alongside his owner, Speedball, of the new warriors.

Niels took on the codename Hairball after developing the ability to form a kinetic field around himself that redirects and amplifies all force and energy exerted against him.

You can learn more about Speedball and the new warriors in their respective duels against Wally West the Flash and Infinity Inc.

Redwing, who is Falcon's trained bird and Ms.

Lion and Maze Dog, completed Lockjaw's initial group.

Their search for the gems led first to the Savageland, an isolated prehistoric preserve hidden in Antarctica.

There the group encountered Zabu, the Sabertooth Tiger companion of the Jungle Lord Khazar.

Zabu was born in the Savageland, orphaned when man apes killed his family.

Raised among wolves before striking out alone, Zabu eventually saved the life of a young man named Kevin Plunder, forming a bond that would shape Kevin into the Jungle leader Khazar.

Exposure to the gases of the Place of Mists slowed Zabu's aging and granted him near human intelligence.

You can learn more about the Savageland in our Parasite vs Sauron dual episode.

Zabu aided the group in locating the Time Gem and joined their journey.

From the Savageland, Lockjaw transported the animals to prehistoric Earth, where they recovered the Space Gem after an encounter with Devil Dinosaur, whom you can learn more about in his duo alongside Moongirl against Dorothy Spinner.

Continuing their pursuit, the group traveled beneath the Atlantic Ocean, where they were swallowed by the massive creature Giganto.

Inside the beast, they discovered both the Soul Gem and the Reality Gem before escaping.

The final Gem, the Power Gem, was located at the White House, attached to the collar of the President's dog.

As the animals converged on their last objective, Thanos arrived, having tracked the same cosmic energies.

When the animals refused to surrender their gems, Thanos attacked and killed Miss Lion.

In a moment of panic and grief, Hairball instinctively used the Soul Gem to resurrect her.

Acting together, the animals combined the power of the Infinity Gems and under Lockjaw's direction defeated Thanos and trapped him in another dimension.

With the team victorious, Miss Lion named the group the Pet Avengers.

Before returning the Gems, Lockjaw used the Mind Gem to establish a psychic link between the animals, ensuring they could find one another again if needed.

Though the Pet Avengers initially separated, the psychic bond eventually drew them back together.

When Throg vanished while searching for meaning beyond Central Park, the group reunited and traveled to the Himalayas, becoming entangled in a conflict within the dream realm.

There, they confronted creatures unleashed by the Fallen One and worked to return displaced mythical beings to their homes.

Later, when Thor, Captain America, and Iron Man were transformed into frogs by the dragon Fin-Fink Fooom, Thor sent a telepathic distress call that reached Throg.

The Pet Avengers responded, eventually aiding Fin-Fink Fooom, when they learned his actions were meant to protect endangered dragon eggs.

Their intervention briefly placed them at odds with the Avengers, but the conflict ended peacefully.

You can learn more about Fin-Fink Fooom in his duel against Star-O, the Conqueror.

In recognition of their actions, the Avengers constructed the Pet Avengers Mansion to serve as the team's headquarters.

That's the Pet Avengers backstory for the seven-member team duel.

I'm including some famous pet and animal characters from outside the comic Pet Avengers roster, that better pair up against your Legion of Super Pets.

So in addition to Lockjaw, Throg, Lockheed, Hairball, and Zabu, I'm also including Cosmo the Space Dog and Jeff the Land Shark.

Now Cosmo the Space Dog has already had a duel against Dexstar, the Red Lantern.

Cosmo began as an Earth dog launched into orbit by the Soviet space program.

An exposure to cosmic radiation granted him telepathy, telekinesis, heightened intelligence, and extended life.

Lost in space, Cosmo eventually became Chief of Security on Nowhere, which is a space station formed from the severed head of a celestial, and Cosmo operated as a cosmic defender and ally to the Guardians of the Galaxy, whom you can learn more about in their duel against the Doom Patrol.

Jeff the Land Shark is a fan favorite and a personal favorite.

He's new to this podcast.

He's actually the pet of Gwenpool and formerly the pet of Kate Bishop Hawkeye.

He was created by MODOK, the villainous leader of the AIM organization, as part of a line of engineered land sharks.

Adopted rather than weaponized, Jeff demonstrated heightened intelligence, loyalty, and adaptability that placed him firmly among Earth's heroic animals.

You can learn more about his creator MODOK in his duel against Hector Hammond.

So that's the pet Avengers lineup for this duel.

Again, it's Lockjaw, the Inhuman Dog, Lockheed, the Purple Pet Dragon, Hairball, the Bouncing Cat, Throg, the Frog of Thunder, Zabu, the Saber Tooth Tiger, Cosmo, the Space Dog, and Jeff the Land Shark.

Initially, I was thinking about going with Chewie, aka Goose, in the movies.

He is a flurkin who you may remember from the Captain Marvel movies, but I ended up replacing him with Hairball, not only because Hairball was a prominent member of the pet Avengers, but also because I feel like between Jeff the Land Shark and like Zabu, I don't think Goose really brought too much more to the table.

Yeah, initially, I was going to include Gleek, the Wonder Twins monkey, who we've actually put in a duel against Hit Monkey, but I decided to go with Flexi instead because I thought he was a better representative for Prody the Second, one of the early members of the Legion since they're both shapeshifters.

Yeah, and Hairball was a better pairing with what's it, the Flash Turtle.

Right.

So really, the pairings are Krypto and Throg, Ace with Zabu, Jumper with Lockjaw, What's It with Hairball, Badge the Green Lantern with Cosmo the Space Dog, Toppo with Jeff the Land Shark, and Flexi with Lockheed.

And we do these pairings in order to ensure general fairness between the rosters and the overall matchup.

These collide in Heroes Clash.

One podcast network rises above the rest.

Prepare yourself for the ultimate showdowns in comic books, video games, movies, and anime.

The Dynamite Podcast Network presents Console Combat, where video game legends brawl every Monday.

Dynamic Duel, where comic book titans smash every Tuesday.

Max Destruction, where TV and action heroes battle every Wednesday.

And Sendro World, where anime champions clash every Thursday.

Join us as we speculate on the matches and armed with the power of mathematical simulations, discover who will emerge victorious.

Visit dynamicpodcast.com where we settle the debate and settle the score.

But now that we've got their histories and the rosters out of the way, let's speculate on how one of the thousands of simulated matches will go.

The winning team is determined by simulations, not the speculation, but it's fun to imagine how the fight could play out.

A.J.

and N.K., what are the rules of our speculations?

Well, I should say there are no rules, other than the teams have no prior knowledge of the other going into the fight.

All they are aware of starting out is that the other side is a threat that needs to be eliminated.

For the speculation, the groups will begin approximately 50 meters apart in a nondescript environment that will have no bearing on the match itself, as no environmental statistics are considered in my simulations.

The teams must earn victory on their own merit.

Alright, then let's get into it.

The Legion of Super Pets and the Pet Avengers meet on the battlefield.

Who goes first?

I'll say that what's it starts off since he's the resident speedster.

And he's going to begin by running circles around the pet Avengers, creating this whirlwind tornado that hampers the pet Avengers vision and also even lifts some of the lighter ones like hairball into the air.

And with the pet Avengers hampered by this tornado, Jumper is going to spring into action, just pinballing between each one, knocking them all to the ground with their super hard kicks.

You mean Jumper jumps right into Frog Yulnir, which is the name of Frog's enchanted hammer, and Jumper gets knocked the fuck back because while the pet Avengers were trapped in what's its tornado, Frog spun his hammer in the opposite direction to create a counter whirlwind.

So with the wind dissipated, Cosmo sees what's it just running around and Cosmo telekinetically flips the turtle onto his shell.

So what's it's not going to be running anywhere for a while on his back?

Alright, that's a good one.

I'm going to say Badge is going to fly into the air and he's going to create this huge bazooka that looks like a hollowed out tree trunk.

And he's like, suck on these nuts!

And he starts launching softball sized acorns at the pet Avengers.

Well, that's going to cause the pet Avengers to scatter and Lockjaw is going to teleport behind Badge and just snatch him out of the air in his jaws.

And he's going to land onto the ground in the middle of the Legion of Superpets with this massive thud, because Lockjaw's a huge dog, and Lockjaw shakes Badge like a chew toy, snapping Badge's neck.

I mean, Badge would be able to escape by constructing like a giant branch that pries Lockjaw's mouth open.

And then Ace, from his utility collar, he's going to toss a tear gas pellet down Lockjaw's throat poisoning him.

Except that Lockjaw would just teleport out of the way, so the tear gas misses and Ace just tear gassed his own teammate, Krypto.

Meanwhile, Lockheed is going to swoop over to Flexi, the parrot, and Lockheed shoots a fireball from his mouth that just melts Flexi into a puddle.

I'm going to say Flexi stretches out of the way to dodge that fireball, because Toppo saw Lockheed swooping in and blinded him with a squirt of ink into his dragon eyes.

So not only does the fireball miss, it hits hairball instead, and Lockheed crashes right into Zabu.

Okay, Zabu would get knocked over, yeah, but hairball would be fine, like the fireball would just bounce off of his kinetic field.

And that's when hairball bounces into action.

He's going to jump over to Ace, he's going to bounce off of him and crash into Badge, and then bounce off of him.

And now he has all this kinetic energy stored up in the form of these neon colored balls surrounding him, and hairball just unloads that kinetic energy like a volley of cherry bomb explosives over at Krypto, who just gets bombarded from all sides.

Hairball is a cool character.

I forgot that he existed.

To me, he's even probably more dangerous than Speedball because he has claws.

Right, he's terrifying.

Yeah.

Okay, so Krypto gets bombarded.

It would knock him around for sure.

But I mean, hairball just pissed him off now.

And so he's going to growl at hairball and then just freeze him with his freeze breath, putting him on ice.

And then Flexi flies over to Jeff the Land Shark, dive bombing him and shape shifting into a cannonball that straight up knocks Jeff out.

Jeff would just open his mouth and swallow the cannonball.

You know, like Jeff has eaten the Infinity Gauntlet before.

I'm pretty sure he can handle a cannonball and he's just going to lick his lips and be like, yum.

All right.

Shit.

Flexi, you know, he's probably freaking out in Jeff's stomach, but he's going to transform into a spiked ball.

Just damaging all of Jeff's internal organs.

Yeah, that would definitely give Jeff indigestion.

So what he's going to do, he's going to puke up Flexi into like this gross puddle, like a puddle with a parrot head.

And Flexi is like gasping for air now that he's out of Jeff's stomach.

But Jeff is going to snatch him off the ground and he's going to forcibly fashion Flexi into this red cape, kind of like Krypto's cape.

And then Jeff is going to strike a pose kind of like Superman.

He turns into Super Jeff, we'll say.

What?

And yeah, he does stuff like this.

He puts on costumes and Super Jeff then leaps over to Toppo, just chomping down onto one of Toppo's tentacles.

And, you know, Toppo's going to flail around, but Jeff is not going to let go.

All right.

Well, that's happening.

Jumper is going to spring toward Lockjaw and just punch the dog right in the nose repeatedly.

Like it's a speed bag.

And then she's going to finish off her combo by leaning back on her tail and kicking Lockjaw so hard that he literally leaves the planet's orbit.

What?

Yeah, her legs are that strong.

Okay.

Well, hopefully her neck is strong because Zabu pounces on Jumper and he sinks his giant fangs that are like 10 inches long into her neck, taking her out.

Wow.

It's the circle of life.

It happens.

And meanwhile Lockheed is going to thaw out hairball from being frozen using his flame breath.

So hairball is free.

All right.

Well, badge is going to trap Zabu in a green cage construct and is going to pull out his fangs on all of his teeth with a pair of pliers that he created.

So now Zabu is just all gums.

And what's it?

You know, he's flipped back over on a shell.

He's back on his feet.

He's going to slam into Jeff, the Land Shark at full speed like a missile, which he was able to do because both Topo and Flexi were choking Jeff out because Jeff was dumb enough to use Flexi as a cape.

And you know, Topo has other tentacles.

Jeff's out.

You can't, you can't hurt Jeff the Land Shark, man.

It's Jeff.

Jeff had it coming.

Well, everyone's going to be pissed about this.

They're going to be shocked that Jeff was hurt because Jeff is like the cutest thing ever.

Throg's not going to have it.

So he leaps into the air and brings his hammer down onto What's It just straight up stomping a turdy to mush like Super Mario.

I mean, What's It has a really durable shell, but it's probably not strong enough to stop Frog Mjolnir or whatever you call it.

Frog Mjolnir.

Whatever.

Meanwhile, Ace and Zabu are scoring off.

And when this toothless Zabu lunges, Ace is just going to front flip over him and plant a small taser disk on the scruff of his neck, which he then triggers.

And it's going to fry Zabu's nervous system.

So he's out.

A front flip.

You think Ace is like a badass or something?

Hell yeah, I do.

He's not that cool.

He's lucky that Zabu didn't have fangs anymore, is what I'll say.

Well, that's happening.

Cosmo is going to take control of Flexi's mind using his telepathy and he's going to make Flexi transform into the Kono shame, like that Kono collar that dogs get after the vet.

Yeah.

And Cosmo is going to telekinetically place that over Ace.

And then he's going to force Flexi to tighten the collar, which just puts Ace to sleep.

The big sleep.

Alright.

Meanwhile, Badge has trapped Hairball inside of a box with a knockout gas capsule, which he then launches into space.

So Hairball's out.

So you just turned Hairball into Schrodinger's cat.

That means he is neither alive nor unalive.

Yeah, good job.

We don't know whether he's alive or dead.

We do know though he is definitely out of the match.

Alright.

While that's happening, Lakja, he teleports back to the battlefield after getting kicked into space by Jumper.

And he is going to drop right down onto Toppo and just squish him into Octopus soup.

I mean, Lakja is like such a fat sack of crap with so many folds of skin on his body.

I'm sure Toppo can find a place to squeeze into at the last second, which he does.

And he's going to camouflage himself so that no one notices him.

He's going to sneak away undetected.

Well, I mean, Lockheed would be able to sense Toppo with his empathic senses.

So Lockheed flies over to Toppo, despite being camouflaged and just turns him into Kalimari with his flame breath.

Yeah, but I mean Toppo's pretty agile.

So sure, one of his tentacles gets singed, but then Toppo's just going to grab Lockheed's neck with his other tentacles, choking off the flame before swinging onto his face like a face hugger and biting Lockheed's jugular with his octopus beak.

So Lockheed's out.

That's horrifying.

Throg sees that and he shoots a blast of lightning at Toppo and that fries Toppo, turning him into delicious Kalimari.

Are you hungry or something?

I could go for some takeout.

You want some frog legs?

Because while Throg is distracted taking out Toppo, Krypto Heat Visions Throg right in half at the waist.

So there you go.

I do not love frog legs.

So no, thank you.

Too bad you've been served.

Okay, then Lockjaw is going to teleport Krypto into space to some planet that has a red sun.

And then Lockjaw is going to teleport back into the fight.

So Krypto's out.

Wait, how would Lockjaw even know to do that?

Like, I say he teleported him to a planet with a yellow sun.

I mean, something like three fourths of all suns in the universe are red, like red dwarfs.

So it was just an odds game.

Lockjaw had a three fourths chance to get Krypto in front of a red sun.

That sounds like made up bullshit.

No, that's true.

It's true.

They far outnumber the amount of yellow suns in the universe.

Well, that's lame.

I'm going to say that Badge is going to then construct a muzzle over Lockjaw once he returns and then inject him right away with a syringe construct.

And he's also going to create a boombox that plays Sarah McLaughlin's song in the arms of the angels as Lockjaw passes out.

What the fuck?

See, this is why last year we went with a dog show instead of a dog fight.

It's just way too sad for pets to be taking each other out like this.

Borderline Evil.

Cosmo, who's still in control of Flexi, the parrot, Cosmo's going to force him to shape shift into a sword and he's going to swing it at Badge.

The Badge is going to block it with a shield construct and then form a sword of his own.

Alright, so yeah, Cosmo and Badge are going to sword fight with their sword constructs, but you forget that Cosmo's sword construct is Flexi, so when Badge cleaves through Cosmo's sword, he just took out Flexi the parrot.

Well, okay, so it's just Badge and Cosmo now then.

So, alright, suddenly this tall green forest is going to appear around Cosmo and from the trees he suddenly sees thousands of green eyes appear before this massive swarm of squirrel construct creatures attack Cosmo simultaneously.

Just overwhelming his telekinesis and defeating Cosmo the same way that Squirrel Girl defeated Dr.

Doom, Galactus, and many other Marvel characters more powerful than Cosmo.

First of all, Squirrel Girl did not defeat Galactus, really, and it certainly wasn't through an ambush of squirrels like how she defeated Dr.

Doom.

Second of all, I don't know how these squirrels are going to get past Cosmo's force field, and third of all, Badge thinks that's what happened, but in reality it was just a telepathic illusion that Cosmo put into his squirrel brain using her telepathy.

In actuality, Badge is just an entrant and then Cosmo shuts his mind down.

So, match over.

Ooh, sorry, you see Badge put on armor when he was sword fighting and he was wearing a helmet and per Marvel rules, you can't telepathically get through a helmet.

No, he just thought that he had a helmet on his head because it was an illusion.

So dumb.

We can go ahead and leave the match there.

Either the Legion of Superpets wins by ambushing Cosmo with a Legion of Green Construct Squirrels, or the Pet Avengers wins because all of that was an illusion and Badge gets his mind shut down.

Let's go ahead and input all the characters and team stats, run the simulations, and come back with a winner.

AG9K, hit it.

Okay, this is a fun match.

I'm really glad we got a chance to do this as our last holiday pet duel.

I like to both of these lineups a lot.

Same, and they came out fairly comparable to each other in terms of their stats.

When you look at the overall team stats, the greatest advantage that DC had over Marvel was durability.

A lot of the DC characters like Krypto and Jumper and Green Lantern and even Flexi the Parrot had a lot more durability over the Pet Avengers and they were also faster.

Like Krypto, What's It, Green Lantern, they all had really high speed stats compared to the Pet Avengers.

But the Pet Avengers had the edge in intelligence because Throg has a human mind and Cosmo the Space Dog is also hyper intelligent and the Pet Avengers also had an advantage in perception, largely because, again, Cosmo is telepathic and no one on the Legion of Superpets is telepathic.

That's right.

We said they were fairly comparable when it came to fighting skill and invasiveness.

The most powerful character overall was by far Badge the Green Lantern.

I'm so sick of these damn Green Lanterns.

Yeah, Badge totally stomped.

He won 86.4% of his matches, which is really high.

I mean, your most powerful member Cosmo only won 77.1.

Yeah, Throg was right up there with Cosmo as well, winning 74.5% of all his matches.

The weakest pet out of both sides was Jeff the Land Shark.

Yeah, but if we had a stat for a cute factor, he'd win that for sure.

Over Badge?

I think not.

Yes, over Badge.

A squirrel or a shark?

No way a shark is cuter.

This shark is.

Does Badge put on silly little cute costumes all the time?

Does Badge have dead shark eyes?

Eh, Jeff's eyes are anything but dead.

They're not like a doll's eyes.

But overall, considering all of these stats, Joseph, who do you think came out on top in this team?

The pet Avengers.

Don't even ask me.

Just assume that I'm going to go with the Marvel side because Marvel side will always be better.

Even though our Instagram followers don't think so because in our poll for this matchup, 66% of them sided with the Legion of Super Pets.

As they should, as they should, if they were smart, which they are.

Now they're dumb as shit, man.

Wow, okay.

All of you heard it.

Not all of them, just the ones that voted for DC, of course.

I don't know if that makes it any better, but let's find out who won.

AJ9K, the results, please.

Here you are, sir.

The winner in the Team Duel matchup between the Legion of Super Pets and the pet Avengers is...

The Legion of Super Pets.

Whatever.

And it was a horrible Christmas.

It was so close.

So, so close.

They won 50.2% of their matches compared to the pet Avengers who won 49.8%.

That's insanely close.

That's the difference of four matches out of a thousand.

Yeah, it seems like a majority of these Team Duel's that we do are all really close.

Like, I think a majority of them are within five percentage points of each other.

And I think it's because we take care to try and make sure that the rosters are balanced.

And when the stats average out in all of the matches, it just ends up being really close.

This is the closest Team Duel results that we've had in a long time.

We haven't had one this close since Guardians of the Galaxy vs Doom Patrol.

Interesting.

I gotta say, I'm pretty sad this Christmas season now that the pet Avengers lost.

I'm especially sad for Jeff.

He deserved better.

I don't get Jeff.

I know nothing about Jeff.

I've never seen Jeff in a comic except for the recent crossover where he appeared with Krypto.

Forget Jeff.

He's lame.

Maybe go read a Jeff the Landshark comic book and then come back and tell me that you don't love him.

Because that's impossible.

I'm good, bro.

That sounds like kid shit for Marvel fans.

Or, you know, just people that don't have a Grinch heart like you.

Piece of shit.

Why don't you go read a Jeff the Landshark comic and have your heart grow three sizes?

I think that would be fatal, honestly.

But that does it for this Team Duel.

AJ9K help close this out.

Thanks for listening to Dynamic Duel.

Visit the show's website at dynamicduel.com and follow us on Instagram at Dynamic Duel Podcast.

Don't forget to listen to the other shows in the Dynamite Podcast Network, including Max Destruction, Senjo World, and Console Combat.

Our next episode is going to be our 10th annual Brothers Awards episode where we countdown the best that Marvel and DC had to offer in the year 2025.

Always look forward to those episodes.

We hope you guys enjoy them too.

Definitely tune in next week and give it a listen.

You can't believe it's already the end of the year.

That's wild.

This was a fast year.

Yeah.

But that does it for this episode, guys.

We want to give a big thanks to our executive producers, John Straussky, Zachary Hepburn, Nathaniel Wagner, Levi Aten, Austin Wieselowski, and Nathaniel Wagner.

AJ Dunkerly, Nick Obanto, Scott Camacho, Gil Camacho, Adam Spees, Dean Molesky, Devin Davis, Joseph Kirsting, and Paul Graves for helping make this podcast possible.

We'll talk to you guys next week.

Up, up and away, true believers.

I've breathed out some flames.

I wish you the best.

These beasts and their bite.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good fight.