Can I sets.

Mantids all that's okay because no one here is.

Hello teen Beaters.

Oh okay, No, Glad, I said that out loud.

That is not a good nickname for my listeners.

Going to have to workshop that one in the meanwhile, I'm Danielle Fischel, podcaster, TV director, aspiring celebrity dancer, boy mom, and as mentioned in two different Lil Wayne songs, I played Tapega on the nineties family sitcom Boy Meets World.

And if you did watch that show, you witnessed every awkward stage of my entire teenage existence from twelve to nineteen years old, from my first kiss to my first hair cut.

Everything was documented and shoehorned into scripts perfectly written to fit a twenty two minute format, with the ultimate goal being its ability to sell things like toothpaste and luxury family vehicles.

And so, now, thirty years later, it's time to turn the tables on Teenbeat.

I will sit down with interesting people who have accomplished interesting things, hoping that a look into their untelevised upbringings can help me get to know them better.

Today I gave you my childhood.

It's time we hear yours.

And this week I'm living a bit on easy Street because I'm sitting down with a guest, a Hall of Fame podcaster, if you ask me, who appears to enjoy being wildly honest and open when it comes to her childhood.

While hosting podcasts like Why Won't You Date Me?

Best Friends and Newcomers, listeners have heard pieces of her origin story with details rarely censored for embarrassment.

And on TV, she's best known as the four time EMI nominated face of Nailed It, one of Netflix's most popular game shows of all time, pitting contestants against an unbeatable opponent their own terrible baking skills.

She's also appeared on Brooklyn nine nine, The Good Place, Transparent, and The Simpsons, and her twenty twenty one comedy special BBW Big Beautiful Weirdo is available now on Netflix and, for those keeping score at home, is also Emmy nominated.

Her confident approach to comedy has helped her become one of the most exciting voices in the field.

But today, when she sits down with me, we're going to focus on those more awkward, less assured moments that everyone, even those with multiple Emmy nominations, can never avoid.

So welcome to teen Beat.

My larger than life guests this week, the hilarious Nicole Byer.

Thank you.

That's a lovely intro.

I was like, whoam.

I want everyone to feel as as spectacular as they are, especially you, Well, thank you.

It's truly an honor to have you here.

I feel like I should have met you a million times because.

We have mutual friends in common.

Sure do many a mutual friends, and yet somehow we have never met and you are podcast royalties.

So I love just talking.

Were you a talkative kid?

Always?

Yeah?

Always?

That's how I got into like acting and performing.

I just talked so much.

My mom is like, how about.

You like talk on stage?

Do the play, do anything?

And I was like, okay, okay, oh yeah, I just I love talking.

As a kid.

All my report cards said we really enjoy her.

But boy, she.

Doesn't like to stop talking.

It was like a real sign from the time I was yes.

Same.

I also was very nosy.

Oh I was in people's business.

I was like, what are you drawing?

What's going on?

What are you doing?

Where are you going?

And I'm still very nosey as an adult.

I feel like that's a good quality to have.

When we call it nosy, it doesn't sound as great.

But when you call it inquisiting, inquisitive, curious, wants to discover the world, so interested in others and they're story.

Okay, I want to talk about hometowns.

Okay, what is the craziest thing that happened in your hometown growing up?

Like, what's the lore in Middletown Township, New Jersey.

I don't know if we have lore it is.

It's truly like a very, very small, boring town.

Okay, because I grew up in Lanecroft, which is in Middletown Township, which is even smaller than Middletown.

But in high school a kid was driving in a deer jump through his windshield, which.

Is pretty crazy.

And I don't know if he came to school.

Of course, he's so funny that I'm mooth he came, he didn't show up, he was absent.

Yeah, a deer jumped through his windshield.

You wanted him to just walk in?

Guys.

Sorry, I'm like, the craziest thing happened?

Oh my god.

I just remember people talking about it in school and I was like, oh my god.

Yeah, but I think that's maybe the craziest.

That sounds like the craziest thing was he injured.

I don't remember him being injured.

He just got a free absent day.

Yeah, and nobody ever gave me a free absent day.

Yeah, you could have staged a deer.

Imagine that.

I'm like dragging deer just.

A week later.

Believe me too.

Oh my god, is that crazy.

You'll never believe.

At my school, the kids from Alpha Dog.

You know, the Jesse James Hollywood guy.

He was a successful drug dealer.

He went to my school.

Oh yeah, someone owed him like fifteen hundred dollars day Jesse James.

Yeah, Jesse James Hollywood.

Who did it?

Sandra Bullock, No, that's a difference a tattoo artist's it or auto mechanic.

Oh my god, I don't announce.

I don't know, but that guy had a similar name.

But you know, justin the movie justin Timberlake did about the drug dealer, a kid owed him like twelve hundred dollars or something, and when he didn't get it, he hired two other young kids to go kill the kid, and then they turned it into a movie.

That guy went to my school.

Oh that's wild, like war lore that's truly, truly.

I didn't see that movie because this will sound really mean, But when Justin Timberlake decided to act, I.

Said, and I don't believe this.

Yeah, you're like no thing, and I don't support it.

Yeah, stick to stick to what you do best.

So, yeah, you know what, I'm not opposed to that.

I really did make one movie that I really liked.

It's called in Time or something where time is literal money.

It really felt like an elevator pitchure.

They're like, what if time was actually money?

And they were like, write it up and there was no other thoughts behind it.

It's really funny.

He also the name of his production company, or the one his mom had, is just in Time.

He's got a lot of time.

Hen't like it.

Also, the Menendez brothers went to my high school.

Wow, Yeah it was great.

Sounds busy damn.

Oh yeah?

And the bling Wing Well did you grow up in calif Yeah?

It's crazy out here?

Yeah, yeah, makes sense.

Interesting people end up here.

People flee from Middletown, New Jersey.

They're like, I can't stay here.

It's so boring.

It's so boring.

Well, I mean, did you enjoy it?

Did you have anything fun that you liked to do there?

Where were your hangouts?

Who were your friends?

What did you do on the weekends?

I smoked a lot of weed out of a honeybear bong that my friend fashioned out of like a honey container.

Yeah, yeah, the little bears.

In the plays.

After the plays, we'd go to Chili's.

Truly boring stuff.

Yeah that sounds sound pretty boring, but I do love a Chili's.

I love Chili's.

Yeah.

I have you been to the Chili's and Encino?

No?

Let me?

It is always packed.

Every time I've gone, I've had to wait a half hour for a table and look at chili.

I don't know that Chili's is worth waiting a half an hour?

It was.

Have you read the skillet Caso?

No?

No, but that it's really good?

Okay.

I do love Gazo.

I mean you got me with skillet queso.

Anything in a skillet.

I'm into a pazuki.

Oh my god, Bej's they broke them mold when they made a pause.

They really did.

Oh just no other dessert, I love it.

I alsoll have a buttercake from CPK Ooh that's.

Nice, warm with that's very very warm.

They also have a like an apple cobbler with crunchams on top.

I don't know how to describe it other than crunch crunch them.

Yeah, that's great.

It's like a what do they call that crumble?

Like a crumble crunches.

Yes, yeah, I'm hungry, which is why I realized I did a full detour into into uh school.

Okay, I do have one small concern about your high school.

You attended Middletown High South, and I am pretty sure you had a real strong grasp on being the most famous alumni.

But now I'm a little worried about Olivia Newsy, the journalist who allegedly had an affair with RFK junior.

She went to your high school.

When did she graduate?

I'm not sure I didn't do that research.

Having an affair with RFK.

Psychotics psychotic, Like imagine that man being like, amen, you hello, are you gonna come?

Oh god?

Oh do you want me to hate it from behind?

No?

Yuck?

Yuck, yuck, yuck yuck.

Oh, okay, your way to the top.

I'm sure go for it.

But that man is disgusting, quite a you real disturgstantic.

He looks like an old coach bag, Like he's so nasty to me.

Oh, you know what, I think even I think there are worse brands than coaching.

I'm pretty sure I use coach because they're pretty durable.

So you ever see like a real beat up one, they are up.

That's true.

That's true.

So Carrie, anyway, I'm worried that your crown may be snatched.

So we're gonna have to just we're gonna have to do something about that.

Did you have like a celebrity hero growing up, somebody you looked up to admired their career.

That's a good question.

Nobody told me I could be an actor until like junior or senior year of high school.

Like it wasn't a thing that I was like, Oh, I can do that.

But like I guess once I once I really thought about it.

I mean, I loved Monique on The Parkers.

I loved Oh god, I'm trying to oh.

I loved a Different World.

A Different World was great.

I loved Living Single, Living Single was.

Living Single is a great show.

It's a perfect show.

I love it so much.

And then the movie I loved them, I oh, will be Goldberg, this is wild.

It took me so.

Long to get there because my favorite movie is Ghost.

I think it's a rom com.

People disagree and say it's a thriller, and I'm like, yeah, but it's really funny and there's a roman.

Yes, I actually agree with you.

Every moment will be Goldberg is in.

It is just so deep funny to miss.

Yes.

Sister Act was another favorite one.

My cousin Vinnie.

I love Marissa Tome and it coming to America with Woopye Goldberg and Ted Danson.

That's such a good movie.

Yes, Whoopy Goldberg.

Okay, whoopi Goldberg.

That that makes sense.

I can see the comedy inspiration there.

My kids really love John Cena, who I know you worked with.

He's the best.

You co hosted the reboot of Wipeout with him.

He seems like he's the best, and my kids think he's the greatest thing ever.

He's so deeply funny.

He's a very funny man.

He also has zero ego, like he'll take a line read from a producer like he's just like he he's there to service the like the greater good if you will like the show the product, Like he's like I'm just a vessel to relay what the joke that you want to relay.

He also is very inquisitive and he also remember his names, you remember crew members names, like he was just so wonderful.

Yeah, he's just a kind, kind person.

I love those stories.

I feel like the more we can talk about those stories and highlight the people who you know have good reputations, oh, because we hear so many.

But I love hearing about naughty people.

I love a misbehaving adult, Like, I love it so much.

I'll tell you.

John Cena truly changed my perspective on like being in the public eye.

Like I didn't love taking pictures with people, and I always found it to be really awkward.

And he was like, if somebody wants a picture with you, what does that do to you?

How does that take away from your day?

Don't you get to continue it?

After?

He's like, if that's if someone is so excited.

To meet you, why wouldn't you make their day?

And I was like, oh my god, yeah right, you're so right.

Why am I being so weird about it?

Yeah, that's sweet.

I think one of the things that makes me feel weird about people when when I do feel weird about it, is always that my first thought is about whether or not it's bothering the people I'm with.

Ah, My first thoughts always like, sorry, I am the worst.

You'd probably don't want to invite me to anything ever again, right, Like, I'm doing this for you.

It's your birthday and people were coming up and asking me for a picture, Like I suck, Right, That's always my first thought.

But he's He's right.

I mean I had what an honor that people actually care enough?

Yes, And then I really had to think about it.

I'm like, who am I doing jokes for?

Well?

What am I trying to?

Like it?

If somebody likes it, then that's that's why I'm doing it.

That's the whole purpose.

That's the point.

That's great.

Who were your friends growing up?

What were your friends liked?

Were you in a click?

Yes, So I don't know if you did this growing up?

So our click like took the first initial of our names and made like names for ourselves.

You had a click nickname.

Yeah, it was Seek, and then there was there was another one because I was in two klicks and I can't remember the second one, but c Kylen I'll always remember because that was like my core group of friends.

And what did you guys.

Do we hung out at each other's houses?

Yeah, we had a lot of slumber parties, so fun.

Yeah, we were just like some girls were closer than others, but like we were all like pretty close.

Like Kristin, one of the K's lived down the street from me.

Okay, so we would hang out all the time.

Let's see if I can remember Kitlin.

That was c Kay, Kristin, Kristen, Kim, Lenn, Liz, e Emma and then me.

How fun Are you in touch with any of them today?

Yes?

So, like we follow each other on Instagram.

And then Kristin got married in Ireland and there was a reunion but I ended up having to work, so I didn't make it.

But everyone else was there, everyone but Caitlyn and you were happy.

That's so fun.

I also had a little bit of a clique.

I think of it as being like there were two kind of larger groups of popular girls, and one was like the naughty group of popular girls, and the other one was like the real squares.

I was part of the real Squares.

Did you go to school with other actors?

Was that special or no?

It was calabasas Hi, so some you know, there were other kids there that had parents in the industry or they themselves acted like at some point Gabby Hoffman and like my senior year, I think Gabby was there, but I don't necessarily remember Gabby being there all four years.

I was there.

Vanessa Evigan whose dad Greg Evigan from my two dads, like, she went there.

But otherwise it was a big just normal high school and I'm still friends with all of those are still my core group of girls.

I love that, and very similarly, everybody had like their It was like the buddy system.

Everybody had their best friend in the group, but we were all still agreece and still to this day, there are like three or four of them I talked to, if not daily, weekly, and then as the larger group of twelve to fifteen of us, we get together whenever we can.

Love that.

Yeah, it's really nice to have friendships that really formed before yes, careers started.

Like people who knew you before My best friend I made as an adult, her name Sashir, But we started our friendship before either of us started working.

We were just doing comedy in New York and it really is nice.

To have someone who's like, I don't know, we've just hit milestones almost at the same time.

Yea.

So it's just like we get each other, yes.

And someone who can look at you and really be like you know that shared history, knowing your family the shorthand not having to explain like who you are.

What is the most amount of trouble you ever got into?

Like in high school?

Oh?

In high school?

Was I still in high school?

I got arrested at Old Navy, which is crazy because they like pay you to take the clothes.

But I love shoplifting, still love it.

Okay to have to I'm assuming you have to force yourself to not do it.

No, I still to do it.

If I go to Gelson's, I'm taking a treat.

If there's a self checkout, I'm not scanning all of it.

Yeah, I don't work here.

Also, Gelson's is so expensive.

Right, there was grapes I wanted and they were fifty dollars are you kidding?

But they went on sale for fourteen Still too expensive.

They're K grapes.

They're from Korea.

Oh my gosh.

K beauty has now crossed over into kute Okay, we have K pop K beauty, KKK fruit Okay.

But I think it was the summer in between my junior and senior year.

No, it was senior year because my mom had passed away already.

So I used to play a game.

With my friends Nick and John called Grandma, What's in your bag?

Meaning we would get back into Nick's car and they go, Grandma, what's in your bag?

And I'd pull it off stuff.

I still, oh my god.

So I was in old Navy I think I was by myself, and yeah, I was by myself, and I was just like doing a thing, taking things, and then I got stopped and I was like.

Oh no.

And then I was being.

Not cooperative and I got them to say that they would release me to anyone over the age of eighteen.

So I called my friend Caitlin and I was like, Ken, your older sister Courtney picked me up and she was like, where on are we?

So then Courtney, they're also white, so they were like, these aren't your parents?

I get these are?

They're very young, like one is fifteen, the other is twenty one, Like what?

So yeah, she was able to sign me out of Jay jail.

Okay, So I have so many questions.

It was old Navy jail.

It was like an old Navy security.

Guard or it was.

It was I think it was like a secret shopper.

It wasn't police police, and they just like held me in the back.

But Macy's and Harold Square has an actual jail underneath the Macy's and I know that because I was arrested as you were arrested there.

What were you trying to take from Macy's.

Oh, one thousand dollars is grand larceny and it was about nine hundred dollars.

Did you know going into it that one thousand dollars was grand larceny?

No?

Wow, that was just very very lucky that I was stealing things on sale, right, You're a frugal piece.

Yeah, even when I'm not paying, I'm like, oh, well, I need to get a deal exactly.

I want a deal on this.

As I think about the things I stole from the jail downstairs, I love that you were not being cooperative because I too, also really had a mouth on me and any time I had to deal with authority, Yeah.

There's times where I've been pulled over where I'm like, you should have brought.

Me to jail.

I was being so rude.

Yeah, yep.

I had a police officer once say to me, don't.

I literally ran from him.

As a teen, I ran and he said, stop running, or I will make this an on site arrest.

And I spun around and I looked at him and I said, aren't all arrests on site?

Funny?

Because you're right, but like, not the time, not the time at all, not the time.

To be smart ass.

But I just love it.

And now I wouldn't do that.

I don't know what happened, did I did?

I Is there like a part of me that should I try to get that back because I would never know.

Now I would be I don't know.

If it's kids or just being.

It's being an adult going.

Today's not the day I die, exact, I.

Don't want to die on this hill now.

And when you're like a teen, you're like, I don't know, I'll never die, Yes, and you truly just do whatever you want.

Yeah, Now I don't I think I would be more cooperative, yeah, but yeah, I wasn't cooperative then.

I remember I once got pulled over.

This was in my early twenties or no, maybe I was like twenty five, because it was here and I had dealer plates on my little Honda Civic for four years.

Oh no, this was my next cart.

I had a little BMW, a little one series.

I kept the dealer plates on for four years.

And I got pulled over and he was like, why don't you have plates on?

And I was like, I don't know who you kill me truly, and then he.

Was like I should, like I don't.

He said something to me.

And I was like, guess what.

I'll fix it, and he was like, don't say guess what.

And I was like, oh, now I'm gonna tell me how to talk.

You're gonna police you talk.

And it's like, what right?

I was exactly.

I was in the wrong one hundred percent.

I got pulled over once for tinted front windows.

Yes, they don't really do that as much anymore, but it used to be a big deal.

Mine were like completely blacked out.

And I rolled down my window and the guy was talking to me, and it was like halfway down, halfway up, and at some point he just stuck his hand into my car, which, by the way, feels feels a little aggressive.

But he took his fingernail and he and he like it down the tint to make a point to me that this type of tint is illegal.

And in his mind he was writing me a ticket anyway, and I was going to have to have it taken off.

But I never had any intention of taking it off.

So when he did that, uh huh, that royally ticked me off because now I have a scratch on my thing.

And so I like looked up at him and I was like, hey, don't do and I fully freaked out at him, and he jumped and everything.

At the fact that I like screamed at him.

In hindsight, I'm like, what what or what was I thinking?

Like, just take the ticket and go about your dad.

Also, he shouldn't have with your car.

Just because you're an authority figure doesn't mean you get to with me.

Right, I take it back.

I'm so happy I said something.

But it's like that, just take it.

It's such a weird thing where you have to choose, you have to pick your battles.

I know, I don't know.

I still I probably should have been more scared than I was.

Back No, be fearless.

What do you think your teachers, if you could interview a teacher of yours right now, what do you think your teachers would say?

They would have predicted that you would have done with your future.

Hmm.

I don't think any of them would be surprised, right, I really don't, because I was truly so loud, I talk so much.

Yeah, I don't think they'd be surprised at all.

None of mine would be either, not one little bit.

I had a science teacher actually say to me once, Danielle, stop talking.

Pay attention.

There's no world where you're going to talk for a living.

Who had the last laugh?

This is a podcast talking.

I mean, here's the book.

Who would have known?

Some might say he saw the future.

Wait, I'm trying to think.

Missus Hedzinski, my third grade teacher, she'd probably be surprised because she just didn't like Yeah, she'd be like, wow, people like her.

She was so mean to me.

For Also, I'm like, don't be a teacher if you're gonna have biases against children exactly.

Yeah.

That science teacher did not like me.

And that's it's like I have to be here.

Yeah.

Also, if you don't like me, it's third grade, switch classes.

Have me move.

You're the adult.

She sucked every morning.

I'd be like, I have a tummy ache.

Yeah.

My mother'd be like, you don't.

I'd be like you're right, then I'd like go to the nurse and be like, I got a tummy, agg do you believe that?

And go back to class and like, oh my god, with this lady and she was your what period did she?

Third grade?

Teacher grade?

She was so mean all day, all in day.

I remember she had a black bob.

It just sounds awful, but she bangs.

She she wasn't old old, but my kindergarten teacher, missus Labach, Oh my god, I really remember these people's names.

She was old as and she didn't like me either.

I also swear I had an old kindergarten teacher.

My mom swear she was in her forties there.

As a child, You're like forties.

Yeah, maybe I know it's true, And now in my forties, I'm like forties and near death.

But I do.

I do think that she was older than my mom remembers, because when I look at a picture of her, she's got a full pixie cut, and it's great.

Absolutely, it's all great.

And I'm like, I mean, I think she's older than probably.

Yeah, I don't remember whether or not she was nice or whether she was mean.

I just remember thinking, I remember all of my elementary school teachers.

First grade, I think that was Missus Rooney.

Oh you really do remember all their names?

Yeah.

Fourth grade was Missus Gussey.

She got married halfway through and became Missus Rosatto.

I was so excited to be in her class.

And then she was a bitch to me too.

Why so many teachers?

As I talked, so, you were a distract and I an ADHD and I'll never forget.

In fourth grade, Missus Gussey gave us a math test and I'm not great at math, but I am okay at like looking at numbers and guessing and working backwards yep.

And then she was like, you cheated, and I was like, I didn't cheat.

So then she made me take the test again outside.

I did the same thing, and then she had a conference with my mom.

My mom was like, I don't know, like Ada said, he didn't cheat.

You did it again.

You didn't cheat, You're fine.

I was like, okay, But she was just like mean to me the rest of the year.

I think, especially with math, anytime you can get to the correct answer, I don't you.

How dare you tell me I have to use your formula to get to the right answer.

It's a quiz or a test.

You asked me for the answer, I gave it to you.

I'm able to show my work even if it's not the way you want it to be.

That's how I feel.

Yeah, I was doing new Math before they started teaching it.

New Math does not make sense.

No, it does not.

My kids are in it now.

How my brain works where it's like, oh, just imagine that without that number.

Then you do the math and then you add that number.

Like it doesn't make sense.

Don't teach children that, right, But if it's how your brain how so.

It's like, whatever, don't.

I don't know.

The way they teach kids now is so crazy to me.

I know, my son comes home.

He's only in first grade.

I did not expect to feel dumb in only first grade.

But he comes home with literacy homework and math homework, and I'm like, what am I supposed to It's like cover up the word here, show them only the last letter, have them work on the site word.

Then I'm like, what what are we doing?

And then factor families was that it's kind of I think part of New Math, but I don't really know, but like, oh, seventeen and then it's got two lines off of it.

Now you have to break up all the different ways you can get to seventeen calling so like you know ten and seven, nine and eight, and now you have to do all these factor families.

It's a lot.

Well that's great, that's only us great.

Factor families is useless.

It feels so busy work.

I heard they don't teach phonetics anymore.

Like sounding out words.

My son is sounding out works.

OK, so at least out here they're still doing that.

He but you know, he's we read a book last night where the names of the characters in the books were twig, tint, and drop.

They were paint brushes to be fair, But he who are the children?

So he's like, yeah, twag And I was like, no, must write again, what an icon.

This way?

Do it?

Same thing?

Tint tin, mm hm, taunt so ghost ghost, let's practice our vowel sounds.

Go back to vowel sounds and so yeah.

I tried to be very patient, and that didn't last very much.

I think that's why I can't have kids.

I'm not patient at all.

Be like, why don't you get it?

Like they just got here.

I have to teach you.

I'll never forget.

Right after we had Adler and you have this brand new baby, and Jensen looked at me one day and he goes, oh, my gosh, someday I'm gonna have to explain to him what rain is.

It was like this deep moment that he realized, like, you will know nothing, not even want rain.

That's sweet.

Yeah, it's cute.

And then literally one day there was like, what is rain?

And Jens looked at Me's.

Like, my moment has a rived.

It is I don't study it, I don't know something.

The moisture from.

Clouds and like the sky's crying.

I don't know.

I've had I've had three years.

I didn't learn it.

This is terrible.

We're terrible parents.

One of the things that stands out to me watching your stand up is your confidence.

It's beautiful.

Were you always a confident person?

Oh?

Yeah, oh yes, I love it.

You simply couldn't tell me anything.

I yeah.

I also I think it was middle school, it might have been eighth grade.

I like get things in my brain and I'm like, this is what I need.

And I remember eighth grade.

My mother was like, what do you want for Christmas?

And I was like an oatmeal colored sweater and dark flares.

I don't it wasn't like in style.

I had never seen it on anybody, but I think I saw it in the store and I was like, that's the sweater I want, and I want those dark flares.

I don't know.

And then I wore it to school and I never felt better.

Right, You just knew you had like a real knowing about yourself.

But yeah, I've always had just I would just do things like when I did the first play I ever did was a junior year.

At no point was I like I'm gonna fail, which is crazy.

Right, crazy thought?

Yes that you had.

No that was like, well, obviously I'm gonna nail it.

Yeah.

And then when I did track and field in high school, I did shot.

Put, which is the fat girls sport.

Uh.

They see a fatty and they go you could throw something.

That's literally what happened.

We were in like gym class.

Mister Haynes.

I really liked him.

He was like, I think he might.

Be strong, and I was like, okay, he was like go down today after school.

Talked to what was his name, Carl something, who is the coach Tortia.

Wow, shout out to these teachers from Middletown.

But he was like, go talk to him and see if he can, like show you how to throw a shot put.

And I was like oh, And then I did it and I was like good at it, and I was like great, Yeah.

That's what I'll do now.

I love this.

I'm an athlete.

And then I was like, and I simply won't practice.

I'll just be good.

And is that what you did?

Yeah?

It was pretty good.

I could have been a state champ had I practiced.

That's what you kept saying.

He was like, why won't you practice?

I was like, uh, I mean so in general, the entire way I felt about education in high school was without working nearly at all, I can get an occasional A mm hmm, mostly bes and an occasional C.

I mean I'm fine with that same.

I don't need to be a straight A student.

What is that going to do for me?

So if you can be pretty dark, not athlete, but not state champ, I mean.

I mean I got to go to track meets, I hung out, I had fun.

I had a great time.

Exactly.

I didn't go to high school to learn.

I went to make friends.

Yeah, the opposite of someone on a reality show.

It's same.

Did you have any crushes?

Oh my god, were you all about boy crazy?

Same boy, boy boy crazy.

There was Keith Matt that was in elementary school?

Middle school?

Was this kid named Joe?

High school?

Was this kid named Mark?

I loved Mark.

Was Mark your same grade?

No?

Mark was I think was a junior when I was a freshman, or was a senior when I was a freshman.

I don't remember, but I loved Mark.

And in the hallway I would just be like, hi, Mark.

And then Mark had a girlfriend and I simply didn't care.

I don't care break up girl front on board.

He never broke up with this girlfriend, but he would entertain me.

He'd be like heynicol Mark.

There's something about that freshman year of high school where there are so many new boys your eyes.

Yes, and they look old, they look old, and you're like we are peers now.

Yes, it's like these are men.

Yes.

I remember thinking life was never going to get better than my freshman year of high school for that reason, just great and passing notes?

Did you pass not?

I pass notes all the time.

Yeah.

Again, I didn't go to learn.

I went to socialize.

And have a nice time.

Yeah.

I would pass notes all the time.

There's this girl, what was her name?

She was really short.

We would pass notes all the time.

Yeah.

And then this one.

Teacher who would like always intercept the note and then he would read them and then he'd.

Talk to us about it, and I'd be like, we'll get out of the gossip.

Yeah, this is not about you.

Get out of here.

I used to leave notes in my friend's lockers, you know, like like I would leave notes also, Like the guy I liked as a freshman was Jeff.

Jeff was a senior and he had a car, and that's nice.

So I would like sneak into the parking lot and leave a note on his car, and then he would always write me back overnight and give me a note the next morning.

It was just it was never reciprocated for me.

Mark and his darn girlfriend, I want to get married.

I don't know.

I don't even know where he is now.

You overlooked up any of your brushes.

I looked him up.

I looked him up a couple of years ago.

Mark, I think I'm pretty sure he's married, Okay, and then Matt, I haven't Keith's mom dms me on Instagram.

A lot.

That's cute.

She's always like Middletown's proud of you.

Oh it's not sweet.

It is very very sweet.

What happened to Keith?

Where's Keith?

I don't know.

I haven't asked where's Keith?

You got to ask?

That's it.

I mean for an inquisitive person.

Yeah, what if he's like dead?

Yeah, wow, that'd be sad.

She was like, oh, I was having a good day ballad.

But also maybe it would make her feel good that you maybe remember him and think, especially if you said, like, always think so fondly.

If Keith, what's he up to these days?

I don't know.

I don't know why I'm being so nosy.

I don't know.

Mike Lindy, that's another one.

I remember that first and last name.

He was so cute.

Oh my god.

There are so many cuties.

I have only recently thought, oh my gosh, I should look up some of these people and it.

Yeah, it's not always.

It's not always good.

Uh did you go to any school dances?

I went to.

Homecoming dances.

I didn't go to either of my proms.

Why I simply wasn't interested.

No, it didn't care well because we just didn't reciprocate.

Okay, and then I hated the idea of going with just my girlfriends right, which now is so silly.

I know, I just went to the after parties after that's cool.

You were cool.

I wasn't cool enough to even go to the I would didn't even know there were after parties.

I just went to like all the basic bitch dances, but I lived for them as a person who was only in school for that occasion.

I thought the dances were great.

Did you ever go in a Did you go in a limo to homecoming?

No?

Okay, no, my parents would never spend money like that, right, I mean, a limo is weird.

I don't know why kids go in limos to things.

I don't hate it.

I wish limos would come back.

I think it's.

Really sad that people are driven around in like suburbans and escalis.

Bring back limos.

I didn't even think about the fact that I don't know when the last time was that I even saw a limo.

Yeah, it's a dying breed, and I don't like it.

I'm losing the whimsy of the world.

You're right, like it's like someone was like, what if cars were longer, and then they made them right, and then they were like, we don't want long cars, and we don't want those anymore now we just want tall cars.

Well, yeah, they're getting tall, getting taller, but they're not getting longer.

No, I took Lance bast to.

My prom Really, that's so fun.

It was.

It was really, really very fun, especially.

The part was he he was in sync at the time.

He was in in sync at the time, and I was really thinking it was going to be the night that I was gonna lose my virginity, and he realized it was like this was never gonna happen for him.

Yeah, and he was like, let's watch the Green Mile, and yeah it was.

He broke up with me shortly thereafter and then ended up coming out of the closet not that long after that.

Wow, did that rock you a little bit?

Yeah, because mostly because when he broke up with me, I was so devastated and couldn't imagine a world where there would ever be a time where we were not together.

And the excuse for I broke up made no sense, and I was just like, I don't get it.

This came out of left field, and my mom said, do you think there's a chance that he is gay?

And I was one hundred percent convinced.

She only said that and thought that because he broke up with me.

I was like, Mom, he can, yeah, I know, you could just be me.

And he was like, guess what, I'm gay exactly as long as you do almost to hear really yeah, yeah.

But I it was the perfect relationship for me because I was as much as I was boy crazy, I didn't really want anybody touching me.

I wanted to, like kiss, but I didn't act I was not right.

He was like, I don't have to do any ofthing.

I don't have to do any thing.

And she still likes me.

She's my best friend.

Gossiping gap okay, and I probably think I have a great a little bit exactly, no big deal.

It was a real perfect relationship.

At homecoming did kids drink?

Did you drink?

Not?

At the dance after at the after parties, yeah.

I was not cool enough to ever go to those, so I did not know what happened there.

Again, I was a real square all through high school.

When did you drink?

For the first time?

When I moved out of my parents' house.

Really.

Yeah, I drink a lot in high school.

I can't drink absolute vanilla anymore because I would drink.

That just like straight straight.

Oh wow.

Yeah.

And then I moved on to slowly raspberry, which I can't drink anymore.

I drink that from like nineteen to like twenty five.

Oh I smell it, and I'm like.

Oh god, even hearing you talk about it, I can smell it.

I can also mine that's like, that is peach schnapps.

When we went on our high school well, you know, you graduate high school and you go somewhere, you like go on a trip.

I didn't do that.

Okay, Well, there was like a high school graduating trip and they all went to I think they went to Mexico.

And my parents were like, you are not going with a group of high school students to Mexico.

Oh yeah, like Cancun or something right exactly.

And they were like, you're not doing that.

But my best friend's family and my family did say, mm, will pay to send you somewhere just the two of you where at least we that's nice.

It was really nice.

It was very nice.

So they sent us to the Bahamas alone, and we did not know anything about drinking because we did not drink through high school, so we did not know about mixing.

Oh, we didn't know about what it took to get a buzz or to be drunk.

We didn't know when to stop or what to start with.

Ooh nothing, did you guys?

Go like hard hard, And we started with a kalua and milk, As everyone knows, a great base for alcohol is milk.

Literally started with a klue and milk, and then went to shots of tequila.

I think about four in a row, just bam, bam, bad stomach.

And then shortly thereafter met up with some friends who were drinking directly from a bottle of peach schnapps and just drink peach schnaps.

When I tell you that, my best friend had to hold my head up because I was just vomiting in my sleep, she was like directing my head to a bucket's friend.

And all I can smell taste anything is peach knops y Never I will not.

I don't drink at all anymore, not for many, many years.

But if I ever get a whiff of peach schnops, it's just over.

Correct clue and milk and vodka is a white Russian.

Yes, yes, I do like a white Russian.

But one one one yeah, mm hmm my god.

Do you have any horrible drinking first time drinking stories or were you just an expert right off the bat.

No, no, I was bad at it.

I do remember.

It was like after a play, I drank maybe half a bottle of absolute vanilla and then passed out of my friend's floor and.

Like woke up.

It was a hardwood floor and just like woke up drooling on myself and I was just like oh, and everyone was.

Like you were so funny, and I was like, I bet I was.

Don't remember a thing, but I.

Didn't get like.

I wasn't on benders until like my twenties, right right, Yeah, got it.

But yeah, in high school, I remember after the plays we would.

We get a little lit.

I want to go back to you just for a second, to pitch the idea that you write a Hallmark movie for yourself that is about you finding out what Keith's up to and going back to your small town, maybe to do a stand up special or something you heckle, like somebody heckles you fights Keith.

Oh No, I mean it's not a bad idea.

But I simply will not be going back to Middletown or Jersey.

Okay.

I did go back, maybe like two years ago because I wanted to see what my old house look like.

Yeah, and then I was just in front of my old house and I was like, do I knock on the door?

Yeah?

Ay, I used to live here and do that.

No, I just drove away.

Oh well they changed the color.

There's like and I know it's like you buy a house, you do what you want to it.

But I was like, that's my home.

I mean, how long ago was it your home?

I believe it should be painted.

In two thousand and eight, Okay, so seventeen years.

Yeah, it should look different.

It should probably at least have a refresh.

Yeah, you know, I think they picked bad colors.

Oh yeah, then you know you don't like them.

I want to pitch a show where I go to people's homes and I go, why'd you do this?

Yeah?

What is this?

This is ugly?

I don't like it.

Can I make a suggestionion?

Why explain it?

I need?

I need you need to back this up, back this up.

Please.

Your love for Sonic the hedgehop my has been well documented over the years.

Was this an interest from your childhood or is this something you picked up later in life?

You know, great question.

Okay.

I played the Sega video games as a kid, okay on a Sega Genesis, and then never thought about Sonic again until the movie came out.

And I think it came out during the pandemic.

I think I don't remember.

I just remember watching it on my floor and I started sobbing at one part because I.

Was like, oh my god, Sonic moves too fast to have like meaningful relationships.

Oh my god.

Sometimes I feel like I moved too fast.

I am Sonic, Tonic is me.

And then I finished the movie and just started it again and watched it a second time, and I.

Was like, oh, I cried again.

And then I was like, I just love Sonic.

And then I like the second one and then the third one.

Have you seen them?

Yes, the third one takes a turn.

It's very dark.

I know, it's like john Wick for kids.

It is, and that's they got yes, and they got john Wick to be Shadow.

And I just I really like them.

I think it's such a fun franchise.

I do too.

I love them, and my kids love them.

One thing I did not like is in Sonic three when Jim Carrey's character Doctor Robotnick is caught off guard and he's like playing the bongos on his belly and they spin the chair around.

We saw that in the preview before the movie actually came out, and my kids were like, I thought it was the most hilarious thing they'd ever seen.

And then about a week later, I was changing into my pajamas in front of my four year old, who was three at the time, and he went, oh, mommy, like doctor Robotnick and started patting on his belly at the side of me.

Got my shirt on, And that's literally the only thing I think of when I think of Sonic three is that's really sight of my son telling me that I was Doctor Robotnick.

That's really funny.

My friend's daughter, she was I don't know, maybe like eight, and we were shopping and I was fully clothed and she pressed on my stomach and she went, ooh, a bouncy ball.

And I was like cool, and she went did I tell a lie?

And I was like, no, I.

Guess you did it.

Then she said, it's okay if you're a bouncy ball as long as you're happy, and then she like cart wheeled away, and I was like, wow, she gets it.

My gosh, it's so rude, so rude, rude and yet also so rude.

I just love her.

She's very fun.

She's like, listen, let's just call a spade.

Is bade nothing wrong with it?

And I just said it.

I felt and I said it.

Yeah, let's go.

If you had to sell Sonic the Hedgehog over Mario the Brother an underdog position, what is your argument for my listeners?

Wait?

What do you mean, Like, if you had to make an argument for why Sonic the Hedgehog is better than Mario.

Oh, sure, Sonic is.

It's a real fantasy.

He comes from outer space, he has lore, he has a backstory.

Yeah, Mario he's a plumber yeah.

And a brother yeah.

And as a brother, so like, okay, you have.

A brother probably or a sibling, Like do you deserve you come from space?

Yeah?

You didn't come from space.

You don't collect rings?

Yeah, super fast?

I mean yeah, I don't even know why I consider that at the top to be an underdog position.

I'm not really sure.

There's I guess you get Mario gets to eat mushrooms.

And grow.

Uh, But I'm not sure.

I'm not sure any of that's better than what Sonic's got going for him.

Sonic hats to go really fast and turns into a little ball and goes even faster.

I just think Sonic is deeply more interesting.

Yeah, I agree, I think you've sold me.

Tell me about your teenage wardrobe.

What were you wearing?

I know you mentioned the camel sweater and the flares, but like, what was your go to style?

This is again the confidence I had.

I was a redhead for a lot of my teens, like burgundy red.

I love that for it.

And I had at one point like dyed my hair with kool aid, and if you look under a microscope, it's like little sugar granules I think that's the word, and they're sharp, so it like like broke off my hair.

So I then had to cut it very very short.

So then I had a very short Missy Elliott haircut, but it was like tinted burgundy.

And then I would like dye pieces of hair and stick them in but you could definitely see the tracks at all times.

Was dying hair with kool aid a like a thing other people did?

Or did you just make that up.

I made it up.

I don't think i'd ever heard it because I didn't have the internet at the time.

Yes, but I was just like making kool aid once because I hated water and my parents set me up for failure by letting me drink kool aid for water.

And I remember making it and I was like, oh, it's stained my hands and I was like, I'll be dye my hair with that.

Because my mother wouldn't let me dye my hair, so I died it with the kool aid.

I found a loophole.

Oh smart.

I would always find loopholes.

I remember, because we had like a decent backyard and I was like, can we have a pool?

My mom was like, you know what, I'll think about it.

That might be nice.

And then she spent like a week thinking about it, and she said we're not going to get a pool.

And I was like why and she said because I would say, don't go out there alone, and I know i'd find you out there alone, but go mom.

My stuffed animals are out here, so technically I'm not alone.

I was like, you got me a bit.

It got me.

I would definitely say that your mom knew you well oh well.

She used to say, there's nothing you can do that can surprised me.

And I was like, huh, I know that's to deter me from acting poorly, but that stal challenge she feels like, and I'll accept it.

Did you ever do anything that really surprised her?

I was constantly doing things that I think surprised her.

But she had a real poker face.

Yeah, she was like, come on, you haven't seen that one before.

My mom used to say stuff like that to me too.

You're never going to outsmart me anything you think of doing.

I have already done that.

And I'm like, I don't think so.

One of the things, this is such a dumb thing.

But one thing my mom did that now as an adult, I'm like, that was so smart.

When she would ground me, which I got grounded often, and when I got grounded, it meant I was not allowed to talk on the phone, because of course that's all I wanted to do.

Yes, talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk.

And so when she had to leave to go do something, and I would be grounded, So I wasn't even allowed to like go to the grocery store with her.

No, you have to stay here.

You can read your books, you can't listen to music, you can't watch TV, you can't talk on the phone.

And you'd think, well, how is she going to know you're talking on the phone.

It's a landline.

My mom would call the number to time.

Do you remember that?

You could call like one eight hundred five five five one seven four to two or something.

There was a number and it would tell you the universal time.

The time is no, uh huh, So my mom, there was a number you could call.

My mom would call that number that she knew I didn't know, and she'd say, all I'm gonna do when I get home is hit redial and make sure it's the last number I called.

Wow, honestly, that's good.

How smart?

That's good?

So annoying.

I couldn't get away with.

Anything that sucks, but also that's really good.

I know.

I just inspire to be like my mother.

My god, I would like to manifest something for you.

You.

Okay, I know you post your poll dancing clips on Instagram?

Yes, what about Nicole Byer dancing with the Stars.

Okay, here's the thing.

Okay, it seems really hard.

It's hard, and.

It seems so I pull dance and then when I'm tired, I go all done.

But I feel like when you're dancing for a TV show, they go, You're not all done.

You have to keep rehearsing.

Yeah, and then that kind of with like my vibe with like having fun.

Right, Well, here's the thing, here's what I'll tell you.

They they give you four hours a day, uh huh to rehearse seven days a week, and then as you progress, it becomes five hours a day, and it becomes six hours a day.

And then when you need or want extra time, you just go to a different studio and rehearse elsewhere.

However, they truly will let you do whatever you want to do.

You only want to work out for it, you only want to work on it for two hours.

Then I'll be bad.

I know.

That's that.

So it's the catch twenty two.

It's just how badly do you want it?

But I was shocked at how much I left it, and really shocked.

What's your favorite genre of Dunce?

I fell in love with all of the traditional ballrooms.

Yes, I did not like the latins as much as I thought for sure I was going to go in there and be like, oh, I'm the.

GPS, real loose hips and like real liquid movement.

Yeah, I'm a square, so I was very keep calling yourself a square, I am.

I'm just a big old square.

I'm built like square, I act like a square.

I'm a big old square.

But I just loved it.

I loved being in frame.

I love learning about frame.

It was all really frame frame, the frame you hold yourself in so you know where you put your hand for taking posture.

Thank you all.

And I got better from dance because my shoulders were always up in my ears and I was constantly hearing about it.

I think knowing how similar hearing, learning how similar we were as children, and knowing what we do for a living, I feel like if I loved it as much as I did, And are you a competitive person?

I love to win, but I love a strategy.

Yeah, And the strategy of Dancing with the Stars is practice, and that's it is.

And also there is strategy because music choice is massive strategy.

You get to choose the music, you get to have a hand in choosing the music, and you get to pick and choose which week you do which dances.

So you're like, oh, you know, based on if I know I'm gonna say, you know you're gonna do the season?

You can start researching.

Let me watch a tango.

Let me let me see how I think.

Do I think I'm gonna like a tango?

Maybe not?

Is tango gonna be hard for me?

Let's kick that down the road.

Then let's start with something easier.

But I want to show my personality right off the bat.

So I'm gonna pick a fiery song or I'm gonna pick a song I love.

This is funny because when I started poll dancing, I was like, everyone has to do it like you sound like I feel, yes, the.

Same energy where I'm like, I'm really.

Like do it, do it and pulled.

I'm like, you can do it.

You don't have to take off your clothes.

It doesn't have to be slutty.

You don't have to even like reclaim anything.

You could just like move your body and like climb up a hole.

And be like I'm strong.

Yeah, I loved I did some pole dancing classes.

I loved it so much.

Yeah, you might inspire me to get back into it.

Do you have a hole in your house?

Oh?

Yeah?

Uh?

Is it one that like retracts up into the ceiling when you have people over.

Is it just one that simply don't have that money?

Okay, I have.

Just a standard pole that lives there.

I actually think the cheaper ones are the ones that like it's like a hook in the ceiling and then you pull it down and it goes back up, so that you if you if you live in like a smaller place and you don't want everyone coming into your house and being like, nice pole, Uh, you can just put it just like.

Nah, just lives there.

Yeah, all right, you're gonna inspire me maybe to get into pole dancing and love it, and maybe we can talk about you doing Dancing with the Stars.

I have no By the way, I don't make any money off getting people onto Dancing with the Stars.

I have also no poles getting people.

I just feel like I loved it so much I want to share that experience with everyone the same way.

Yeah, that's how I feel about pole dancing.

I'm like, you'll love it.

It's not as hard as it looks, and you get to wear great big heels.

I love the heels.

The heels are great.

Ugh, the heels are really fun.

I loved the heels all and dancing with the stars too.

I had so much fun in the episode with Nicole.

I'm bringing her back for a bonus episode where we will get to hear one of your embarrassing stories, So make sure you check that episode out on Friday.

Thank you all for joining us for this episode of teen Beat.

Teen Beat is an iHeart podcast produced and hosted by Danielle Fischel.

Executive producers Jensen Karp and Amy Sugarman, Executive in charge of production Danielle Romo, producer and editor Tara Soubach.

The theme song is by Mark Coppus, Yes that Mark Coppus.

Follow us on Instagram at teen beat pod.