Elsie: You're listening to The Beautiful Mess Podcast, your cozy comfort listen.

This week we're going to share ideas for putting together advents, unique ideas, low cost or free holiday gift ideas, epic personalized gift ideas and neighborly gift ideas.

And we'll also share our book report.

Are you ready to talk about gifts?

Emma: Let's do it.

Let's do it.

Gift giving season.

Elsie: Hell yeah.

I love gift giving.

I love gift giving.

What I love most is it's your love language, the planning.

I think it's my love language.

Yeah.

Of the, it brings me so much joy.

The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.

I remember that from our childhood.

Emma: Yes.

And you like receiving gifts and you like giving gifts.

Yes.

And I do think you are a very good gift giver.

Elsie: Thank you.

So these tips are all brought to you by all, and gifting is really fun.

I do think it is an opportunity to make people feel seen, and it can also just be fun.

I also think making it fun for yourself instead of it being a chore is a good perspective to try for.

So yeah, no, I definitely agree with that.

I think that there have been years of my life where I didn't have very much money.

And holiday gift giving was stressful and you difficult and frustrating.

And then there have been years of my life where I was kind of just checking the boxes and just trying to get it done.

And then there have been years where I really got into it and enjoyed it.

So that's what we're trying to make this episode about.

Wherever you are in life, hopefully.

I personally don't think you can enjoy buying every single gift on the list.

If you're like me and you do, I do the whole family.

Every single thing.

There's one person that does everything and it's me.

And I think a lot of women have that role in their families, and it's a common thing or whatever.

I'm not saying it should be that way, but way for some people it is.

And for me, it's like I just kind of took on that role and at a certain point I tried to sort of get my husband to do part of it, and it just didn't really work for us.

So I just took it back and I was like, whatever, I'll just whatever.

But yeah, I think that the years, whenever I put the most thought and planning into it are the most fun.

So hopefully this episode will help you if you're working on gift giving, to put a couple of things in there that are unique and fun and bring you joy.

I do think that it should be fun for the person buying the gifts and not just a chore.

Hopefully.

Hopefully.

What's your thoughts on it?

Do you do most of your gifts and do you enjoy it?

Emma: Yeah, I like buying gifts.

I don't do tray side of the family.

I think that's kind of what you're talking about.

I don't know when, but at some point I did.

I think in the beginning of our marriage you cut him off, but at some point I said, I'm not going to do this anymore.

It's your job.

I wasn't brave enough.

Well, I did before I said it and I was kind about it.

It just wasn't like a fight or anything before I said it though.

I did tell myself, I was like, look, if it doesn't get done, you have to accept that you cannot then just take it over embarrassed or you're whatever you need to mean it if you're going to say it.

And so I did.

There have been times that something got forgotten or not bought.

There have been times that I didn't buy a gift for someone on my side of the family.

I forgot.

And I accept all of that.

It's fine, whatever at the end of the day, for real, who cares?

You know what I mean?

It's just gifts and yeah, I don't know.

I feel like it should never really be a big problem in a relationship.

I would hope not, but I just don't buy anything beside his family.

And then on our side of the family, some years ago, I'm trying to remember what even year we decided, but we had a year where us siblings got together and we were like, Hey, let's not do gifts for each other anymore.

Let's just do gifts for the kids and gifts for our parents.

And we're not going to do each other, not because we don't love each other, but just like it's a lot of planning.

It's a lot of logistics.

Yes, it's a lot of money too, but it's kind of more like just doing it.

So we try to do something special for birthdays or other times of year.

I actually think a random GIF is really fun and we all just agreed to that and have stuck to it.

And I think that's great too.

Some people would not like that, some do it.

But if that's something you maybe bring up and see what your family thinks, I think that can relieve a lot of stress sometimes.

It just depends.

Great.

No reason not to discuss it.

Just bring it up and you can always be like, no, nobody wants to do it.

That's fine.

Elsie: Yeah, I think that especially if you're in a situation where a lot of people are trading gift cards, that's a good time to be like, Hey, can we not don't do it?

Emma: Or what if we do more of a white elephant?

Everybody buys a gift card and so you get one or whatever, and we all put it into a pot and we have a little moment or whatever, that kind of thing.

Elsie: Okay.

Let's talk about white elephants first.

They're called all kinds of names.

I don't know what they are, but we do one in our book club.

We do one in Jeremy's side of the family.

I think that it is one of the best ways to do a low budget gifting situation where it's like, it's fun.

It's fun for a party.

Everyone can spend $10.

You can make it where it's not too expensive for anyone.

It's fun.

It's a thing to do.

You know what I mean?

Emma: Yeah.

A lot of times it ends up being an event at the party.

It's almost like you're playing a game.

And that's sort of half the fun of it, really.

Some people even do, I think they call 'em gag gifts where it's something bad that nobody wants or that type of thing, and it's meant to be funny.

And that's great.

Elsie: On Jeremy's side of the family, last year, his mom started doing a white elephant, but you have to bring something from your house that you already had.

So it was literally free and the gifts were hilarious and just awful, horrible, awful funny.

All the things.

A couple of them were sweet, a couple of them were normal.

But I feel like people, if we do it again, people will be even more unhinged.

You kind of see what, because you got the vibe, so you're like, okay.

Yeah.

It's like re-gifting really horrible things, basically is the vibe.

And it's fun.

Love it.

I love it.

So yeah, I would suggest that if you're looking for a way to make a party fun and silly, and I personally thought that the bringing stuff from home was just as good as the $10 gift because it's with the $10 gift, I feel like I'm trying to find something that's technically $10, but it's really better than that, and I'm trying to, you know what I mean?

Yeah.

It's actually kind of hard to do.

It's hard.

Yeah.

The 10 limit I think is really difficult.

I always end up with a book or something or a bunch of basically just lying.

That's how I do it.

But for a book club, because I don't want to just bring one thing that's 10, I want it to be exciting.

You know what I mean?

I think our limit on the book club was, so in our book club, we do a favorite things.

That's what kind of the theme of it is.

And I want to say it's like 25 for $30.

We probably said it slightly different every year.

I really don't remember.

But the idea is whatever your favorite thing from that year.

So it could be a lip gloss, it could be a candle, it could be a new minstrel cup.

It could be a book.

A lot of people brought menstrual cups and I was like, or disc.

So glad I don't get one of those.

Emma: It could be anything.

Skincare, a really, really cool can opener.

It could be anything.

And I think what's fun about that, especially in a book club of all women, is we kind of all have similar interest anyway.

I kind of know I can buy skincare in that group.

Whereas if it's like your family, I don't know if everybody would want that.

True.

So it's that.

And then also somebody kind of takes notes during that gift exchange.

And there's many times that I will buy things that were from the gift exchange that I didn't end up getting that, but it was like someone was like, this is the best lip gloss.

This is the, and then I end up buying all those things because it's almost like a little bit of show notes.

That's true.

The show notes were really good from that one.

Yeah.

So that's fun.

So that's a good one for friend groups or things like that.

Yeah.

Elsie: Yeah.

No, I love the favorite things.

Okay, let's talk about advents.

Okay.

Advents is one of my great passions in life.

So okay, this year I want to talk first about making an advent for an adult or a friend because I think, okay, so there's two different kinds of people.

There's people that like small gifts and there's people that hate them.

And I think knowing your friends, you have to know your audience.

So obviously children love advents love.

They love, love small gifts.

You can do the 24 days for any child and you'll nail it.

It's actually really easy and it's really fun.

But this past summer or spring we made, so we made our friend turn 40 and we made her a box of 40 gifts.

And I'm not going to lie, it was a lot of work.

It was the most work I've ever put into a gift before by a lot.

It took probably a month and hundreds more dollars than I admitted to you.

Whenever I sent you the, I was like, how much Tobin on me?

I want to pay half.

And you told me and I was like, there's no chance.

There's no way.

She is lying.

I was being nice.

It was so fun though.

It was the most fun.

So if you want to give, but you have to know that it's the right audience.

A lot of my friends, they wouldn't want 40 small gifts.

This particular person, she loved it.

And she even spaced it out where it lasted longer.

It was really, really, it was just perfect.

So that was really fun.

But yeah, some of the stuff we put in the adults, I wanted to give some examples.

So we put books and then there was a lot of cosmetics.

There was a lot of, and I tried to do things that weren't super color specific, so the day hair stuff or lip glosses or my favorite hair oil or what else?

Things like that.

There was a lot of stuff like that.

There was a couple bigger things.

I know there was a pink dutch oven, there was a pink water bottle.

There was some stuff like that.

There was a couple of edible things.

So I did a couple of those.

World market has these treat boxes where it's treats of Japan or treats of, I don't know where else.

I think I got the German.

I think I got the German one for her.

So that was fun.

Emma: And I do feel like that's a key to doing an advent.

So if you're doing advent for Christmas, then it's all the days leading up before Christmas.

And I think it's good to think about, okay, I'm going to do three to five biggies.

And then there's other little things that are the inbetweens, because every single day shouldn't be a biggie.

That's kind of crazy.

And also let's maybe too much, too excitement, too much money, too much everything.

Elsie: Well, yeah, that's the other thing that I have to always think about is I don't want to give a gift that's going to make someone feel bad because it's too big.

And I do do that sometimes and I don't care.

But I don't know, you do want to get the perfect medium where it's not too crazy where they're like, I love this, but they're not like, oh my God, do I owe you my life?

So I got her two days were hyper personal.

One was a Barbara Streisand t-shirt, which just from Etsy, she loves Barbara Streisand, and that's not a common.

And then the other one was an autographed Robert Redford poster that I got from eBay.

And then I just reframed it cuter and that because Robert Redford was her celebrity crush.

He actually passed right after this.

So that was sweet.

Anyway, so that was one of the, it was so fulfilling.

I cannot recommend enough.

So if you have a friend who would like a lot of small things, and I think it would also be 40 is a lot.

If you did it for someone turning 18 or 20, that would be half as many.

So I got one when I turned 16.

It was 16 little gifts.

Oh, really?

Yep.

Oh, that's cute.

Yeah, it's cute.

Sweet.

And then, okay, so as far as examples for kids, so I will say I graduated our nieces to the Sephora Advent calendar, which is, they're teenagers.

They're teenagers, they like it.

It's just what they like.

It's just the right stuff for their age.

And obviously it's like a thousand times easier for me to just order the one calendar and ship it to them than it is to put together 24 gifts.

But I still do the 24 gifts for the little kids, and I think this year I'm just doing Oscar and my kids.

And then next year I'm going to add in Hugo's too little, in my opinion, this year he doesn't need it.

Our other little niece will be three next year.

I think we're going to start at three.

So anyway, so for the kids gifts, the biggest tip that I think helps is to, number one, collect all year.

Number two, with little kids, there is no reason not to reuse old toys that I sometimes put things in Oscars that are little stuffies or little.

I had this pair of binoculars.

I just found that the kids perfect things like that.

You know what I mean?

It's like there's nothing wrong with it.

And you have to have 24 different little packages to open.

Emma: He has a lot of toys that used to be Novas that he loves, like that microscope that talks to you.

He pulls that out all the time and it's just like something Nova gave him.

I think she was kind of over it.

It's great.

Yeah.

Elsie: And then my other tip for the kids is to put a good amount of edible gifts in there.

So just little packages of cookies, sometimes candy, sometimes just like the holiday aisle of snacks.

Just go in there and get some snacks.

And that also helps fill up the days and it helps space out the bigger things.

And it's just not as much stuff accumulating for your home and then it goes away.

It's fine.

And then, yeah, there are so many places that sell amazing quality advents, like Lego makes lots of advents.

Sephora is unmatched.

I really think it's the best advent that it exists.

We love the David's tea.

Advent.

We've done that lot times.

I do that one with my partner.

I've seen candle ones and there's just, anthropology has a lot of cute ones too.

If you go on there and look, they have different kinds.

They have a candle one.

I think it's 12 days though.

But anyway, yes.

So yeah, I think advents are one of my favorite things to give.

But remember that you should give it to them at the end of November, so they can start it on December 1st and then they will get to savor the 24 days of small things.

In my opinion, for kids, it's so much better than just having it all stuffed into a stocking and getting it all at once.

Getting it spaced out is really nice.

So let's talk about creative gifts.

So this year, I think I talked about this on a previous episode, I think on the bucket list one, but one of my goals for my kids is to get more useful gifts because last year I had this sad, the week after Christmas there was this big box of all their presents in the living room, and there was just a lot of stuff that they just kind of never really reached for And it was really not cool.

I was like, oh, I wasted and I didn't like that.

So this share, I'm trying to focus more on stuff that is a little more practical and for sure we'll get toys, but just not as many.

And so this year I will probably do pajamas and slippers.

I've already been ordering a lot of their gifts are going to be art supplies because I think that art supplies are just one of the ultimate gifts that you can give that keeps on giving.

If you get, I found these really pretty watercolor pins with a journal that's like a wonderful, joyful gift.

And the other day, our 7-year-old used an entire pack of watercolor postcards in one sitting.

So I was like, okay, she can do this apparently.

Emma: So yeah, on the art supplies thing or I don't exactly know where this tip fits, so I'm just going to put it here.

So I do a thing where in my phone I will take a screenshot of something that I basically want to buy my kids, but I don't need to be buying them stuff every single week.

So then I have this folder that's just basically gift ideas and a lot of it is art supplies.

So that's what made me think of this.

And you could put things for your partner.

It's kind of buying gifts all year round, but if it's something that you don't necessarily need to buy that month, you can just take a screenshot of it.

It also for me, sometimes makes me think about it for longer, and especially for little kids who kind of change their interests kind of a lot.

Sometimes you screenshot something in October and by the time you're buying stuff in December, they actually aren't into that show anymore or that color or whatever.

They're kind of more into this other thing.

So you can then be like, oh, I'm not going to buy this thing, or, oh, this screenshot, it's a turtle, but I'm going to buy the fish version or whatever.

And so it kind of just helps me stay a little bit organized.

And it also makes me shop less.

I will just buy my kids, especially art supplies off Amazon constantly.

And I think that's sweet.

But I also don't want them to to appreciate things.

And I also want to be a little more focused.

And I also think me buying stuff all the time is not necessarily a good habit for me.

So this is just kind of a way that I'm shopping on my phone, but I don't actually buy anything.

Also, this is sort of a side note, but I don't log into Amazon on my phone.

I just am not logged in there and I don't have my login memorized.

I only am logged in on my desktop that way.

I cannot buy things from my phone.

I have to save it in a cart or screenshot it.

And then when I'm at my desktop later, I will buy things and it just makes me buy less, which is, it just makes me buy more thoughtfully.

It's not like my goal is to not buy anything.

You can make goals around that and that's great.

I don't have a specific goal around that at the moment.

I just want to be thoughtful when I purchase anything rather than just, I'm kind of bored and these look like fun crowns for my kids, I'm going to buy 'em right now.

It's like, eh, that's not necessarily a good habit.

Elsie: No, I get it.

Yeah, I mean, when you've done a big declutter, which we've recently done a big declutter in our kids' rooms, it really puts it in perspective.

That's probably a good thing to do right before you Christmas shop so that you don't buy the same types of things that you just decluttered.

Emma: I always clean out their rooms right before Christmas and right before their birthdays.

Good.

Cause I know they're about to get more stuff and I don't want it to feel, I want 'em to be excited about the new things and use the new things.

And it's just a great time too, if your kids notice when you're getting rid of their stuff that maybe they really don't use it, but they just want to hang onto it.

That's a good time to do it because then they don't notice as much because then they get all these new things for Christmas or their birthday.

Elsie: Yeah, no, that's good advice.

Yeah.

Okay.

So creative.

I think that doing your Christmas shopping at a store, Michael's is a great thing to do, but just bottom line, I think it's just a wonderful, if you have a local art shop, I'm jealous.

Even better.

Yeah, jealous.

I'm jealous.

And you're very lucky.

A fancy set of watercolors.

I will always be happy when I receive a journal.

Always.

That's always a great gift.

I will always use it.

I'm just a journal person, a notebook person.

You know what I mean?

So yeah, creative gifts are a great way to go.

Okay, so let's talk low cost slash free gifts.

So I already talked about how I reuse a bunch of my kids' stuff for Oscar's Advent, which I is great, is just practical.

It sounds maybe a little bit bad, but I would buy the same types of things.

You know what I mean?

So it's like, I don't know, there's really no downside to it.

It just feels a little weird.

If you've ever bought someone a gift from the thrift store, that also feels a little weird, but there's nothing wrong with it.

It's like there's nothing bad about it.

You're buying them something probably more tailored to their interests than you would from a place like Target.

You noticed it in a place like a thrift store.

You know what I mean?

It probably proves that they will it even more.

It's just a thing that I think maybe it's a Midwestern thing, but I feel like we weren't raised to think about giving secondhand things to other people.

I don't know.

Something's a little weird about it.

Well, they don't make commercials about it, but just consider this a commercial for it right now.

Yeah, no, but I love it.

If anyone ever gives me something like a used book or anything like that, it's always the best.

It's always great because it's personal.

Yeah, well tell 'em about the books with the notes.

So yeah, my best free gift idea that I've ever done, it was like three or four years ago, a while ago, maybe two, I dunno, maybe two, I dunno.

A couple of years ago I wrapped up for Emma.

It was maybe 10 favorite books of the year.

It was a lot.

And it was so fun.

And then in the beginning of each book, I put a post-it note.

That was kind of my review of the book, and I actually have kept track and I know that she did not read all those books.

And some of them she gave away to other people that they suited better, which that's good you gave them to remember how you gave Michelle that one book and it's like, because it suited her better.

Emma: Sad emo book probably.

I don't remember what it was exactly.

I was like, this is, but you knew when I started reading the idea of you, I text you right away and I was like, you're posted Inside here is hilarious.

It was like this book rules the cover's awful.

Elsie: It was like worst cover, best book until the end of time.

There's no other book.

It Do not get me started on the idea of you.

You'll regret it.

I already did a whole every time.

Emma: No, this was such a great gift too.

And it felt very personal.

Well, it's like she was giving me something that she had enjoyed.

These are books she had read.

They were personal recommendations.

They were personal recommendations.

And they also each had a little note in them that was like, it wasn't that it was about me, it was about the books, but it felt like having a personal shopper for books.

It was really, really special.

And they were all wrapped in these brown papers, so it was like you couldn't tell what they were.

It was just really, really fun.

And it didn't cost anything more than it was hundred percent free.

Yeah, you'd already bought them.

I literally just took them from my bookshelf.

I'm always putting books out in my little free library.

So it's basically stop doing that and just keep the one if you loved it and then give it to someone and be like, I read this and I loved it.

I thought of you, whatever.

It's great.

Elsie: Yeah, I do think that that's a great gift idea.

You can also do that with kids' books when your kids are outgrowing.

We've been going through that lately where I think I'm holding onto some, it's really when your kids are outgrowing picture books.

But I'm like, but I don't want to not have a thousand picture books in my home.

You know what I mean?

So it is a good time to at least pass some of the favorites on to the other littler kids in the family.

Yeah.

I don't know what I'm going to do when I'm supposed to get rid of the board books one day.

No, I'm not in that era.

You don't have to, but I don't have one can make how I'll do it.

These are our books though.

Yeah.

How do we do this?

We're fully in chapter book level, but that doesn't mean we still can't enjoy.

Yeah, I can still read a picture book at bedtime, and that's not weird at their ages, but we're kind of coming to the end of it and I can see that and I'm definitely buying less of them.

But yeah, I don't know.

It's magical.

And they're a wonderful thing to pass on to other kids if you have a chance.

Emma: Okay.

Now they're low cost slash, it's not really free.

This is more low cost.

But I think that giving pictures is always a great gift, especially for mothers, grandmothers family members.

I mean, I consider when you send me a holiday card in the mail that has a picture of your family on it, I consider that a gift.

And I put them all up on, not on our mantle.

I put them on our piano mantle and we look at them all month long and I just love it.

So that to me is a little gift for casual friends across the country and that kind of thing.

Family members, you're not going to see that kind of thing.

But I also think just nice framed photos of your family or of just your kids or whatever, the vibe that you give to people is really, really nice.

Elsie: Yeah, no, I totally agree.

I love holiday cards.

I think that's one of the best things about being American is our holiday card culture.

I do stand by it.

I do think it's great.

I already bought mine.

Yeah, I already had a photo shoot and I already bought mine.

I love it.

I love receiving them.

I love giving them Actually helped mine on the fridge the entire year.

This year, actually, the old fridge, we just had it moved out of our house yesterday and I took them off of it yesterday.

So that was also special.

I don't know if I'm going to leave them up the whole year, but I did find a place where I could if I want to, and there's something really special about it.

Emma: Yeah, you just get to see your friends who you don't see very often, and you're watching their kids grow.

And a lot of times it's pictures that they didn't post online for whatever reason, maybe shows the front of their home or whatever.

And so it's just special and fun.

Love it.

I need to do my shoot now.

Oh, I'm always the last person.

I always am.

The last person this year, I was like, I don't have my together in so many ways, but I am going to do the, I want to be the person who you get the Christmas cards right after Thanksgiving.

Oh my God.

I'm like, I'm going to be that person this year.

I did my shoot.

I already ordered the cards.

My God, they're sitting in a box in my office right now.

I've already done it.

Trey was like, what is this?

Christmas cards?

And I was like, I don't have anything together, and I just needed a winner.

He was like, okay, good for you.

Elsie: Good for you.

Look at me like that.

Okay, so let's talk about epic personalized gifts.

So, oh my god, my favorite category.

So I think one of the most special things you can give is a leather bound of someone's favorite book.

Isn't that?

That's nice.

It's special.

It's cool.

It's not the kind of thing you're going to buy for yourself usually.

So it's like it's a pretty safe bet that they don't already have it, and it's just magical.

Emma: And it's almost kind of a decor piece.

Obviously it's a literal book, but if it's one of their favorites, they've probably read it.

They'll probably reread it.

I mean, it depends what the book is, I suppose.

But it also is a nice decor piece that kind of says something about them that you can put on a nightstand, on a shelf, wherever, coffee table, whatever.

Elsie: If you have, okay, a teenager, or, we did this for our kid.

So for Nova's birthday, we got her a CD player with a book, the books from our youth, the black little binders that go in your car full of CDs.

And she already has the whole binder completely full.

She asks me for a new CD almost every week.

She listens to them every night.

That's really cute.

And it's so different of an experience than Spotify.

I think there's something just developmentally beautiful about listening to whole albums and having that limited amount of choices.

Emma: Honestly, as you're explaining it, I'm like, should I buy a CD player?

It's a great gift.

I get kind of overwhelmed with Spotify.

I'm the same way with tv.

I end up spending so long trying to pick something that I'm like, well, that was all the time that I wanted to watch TV for anyway.

So it's like, I don't know.

It is strange.

I didn't grow up with, with streaming or anything like that.

It's a whole different thing.

Elsie: You would use a CD player in your office.

If you had five to 10 CDs, you would listen to them and you would love it.

Emma: I would, yeah.

And I would think about buying another one and decide if I really want it.

Know what I mean?

Yeah.

It's the whole thing.

It's really cute.

Elsie: No, I love it.

And if you're doing more like a teenager or an adult, the same exact thing, but a record player with records, and I think that a record records are one of the most personal gifts that I give every single year.

I get my husband his favorite records from the year, and it's just such a good, reliable gift that you'll always have more of them to give.

As long as that person continues being interested in music, there will always be more.

You'll never run out.

And I think that that's really cool.

And it's also just a cool collection.

So epic personalized gifts.

There's a lot on Etsy.

I just want to say shout out.

Just going on Etsy and searching personalized gifts, jewelry.

Emma and I both have these rings with our kids' names on them.

Those are just amazing gifts.

I don't know, just the kind of thing that you'll keep forever.

Emma: Yeah.

My first Mother's day after Hugo, I told, I think Hugo wasn't even born yet.

Day is in May, and he was born the next month.

But that's what I asked for.

I was like, here's the link to the Etsy shop.

I want his name on a ring.

It goes next to Oscars.

And I wear them every day.

Elsie: Yeah, they're amazing.

And they lost forever.

You wear them in the shower, they're quality.

And I think last year or the year before, we got our mom, this cutting board from Etsy where someone laser printed, they can just laser print an old recipe card.

So it was our great grandmother's handwriting, and I think it was a cherry cobbler recipe, I want to say.

And it just turned out so cute and so special.

And that year she happened to be getting a new kitchen.

So I also think it's a great housewarming gift.

If you can get your hands on.

The old recipe card was the hard part.

I had to get my dad's help with that help.

Can you think of anything else?

I also think quilts.

Oh yeah, quilts are lovely quilts.

They're already very personal.

And even if you're just choosing the colors that's personal, but sometimes there's quilts with something on it that they can be endlessly customized.

Emma: Yes.

So these are two other random things that I've bought before for people.

So one is for an adult.

I had bought this for our parents before.

So my mom likes cooking a lot.

And also my parents are very much homebodies and a lot like me, frankly.

So one thing I'll do is set a budget and go to a nicer grocery store and just buy anything that I think that they would like.

So this could be fancy bottle of olive oil?

Yeah.

Or a jar of really weird pickles.

I love a fancy food basket.

Yeah, exactly.

So it's basically fancy food basket, really unique, dried pasta shaped just stuff that I would buy for myself, but I probably wouldn't buy all of it at once.

And so to me, it's a really fun gift and I put it in a really cute basket that she can reuse if she wants.

That's just a fun thing.

It takes time.

You'll be in the store for a little while.

I usually pick the basket up or I've brought it with me and kind of making sure it can all fit or I could look cute together.

And I will say set a budget.

You'd be shocked how much you could spend on pickles and olive oil, man.

It could start to get astronomical at a certain point, but it's so fun.

And then for us in the Midwest, it's really cold right after Christmas.

It's a season where you stay home a lot.

So I think having a lot of fun snacks and things you can cook with is just kind of enjoyable.

Elsie: Yeah.

No, I love, that's a great idea.

Emma: So that's one thing for adults, and then something I do for my kids.

My kids are at an age where they're growing and growing, so their clothes change fairly often.

So one of the things that's actually more expensive that we buy them from Santa is, and they don't realize what it costs to them.

Sometimes the most exciting thing to them was the cheapest thing you bought.

They're just at that age.

So it doesn't totally matter.

But in my mind, I know we're spending this much on Christmas.

I'm budgeting for this and this.

So one thing we buy them is a really nice warm quality snow outfit.

My kids are both boys, and this applies to anyone, but we love to get outside and play.

And that doesn't change in the winter, even when it snows.

In fact, they love being in the snow.

But if you don't have the right clothes, and this maybe doesn't apply to people who live in warm areas, you might not know this or care about this, but if you don't have the right clothes, it's actually really miserable to play in the snow.

It's not fun.

It's like you feel wet immediately and it's just not enjoyable.

But if you have the right clothes, then it's actually really fun to be outside sledding for hours.

And as an adult, I also have basically a ski outfit, and I don't really ski, and I wear that when I play with my kids outside, and it makes the experience much more enjoyable for me.

I don't want to be out there in this hodgepodge outfit that just gets wet immediately, and then I'm miserable.

Get yourself a nice outfit so you can enjoy winter.

It's a good idea with your kids.

Snow boots, love that.

Snow boots, gloves that are waterproof.

Just do the whole as if you're going to go skiing.

That way, you just feel good while you're out there.

And if they want to sled for two hours, you can.

And it's great.

Elsie: Oh my gosh, I'm so excited.

I only have a few more years till my kids get to the age where they stop growing and I can't wait.

So to just keep buying boots and coats and all the things you buy every single year.

Anyway, that's not what this episode is about.

But yeah, I can't wait till they can collect clothes like I do.

It's just better.

It's nice.

Yeah, it's very nice.

Would you rather use your snow boots for 10 years or one year?

Emma: Yeah, yeah.

Another time you might go to the thrift store and look around.

You never know if you can find, because it could even happen in the middle of the summer, you find snow boots that maybe you're going to fit your kid.

And that's great, get 'em, because they probably got used for one season and it's just how these things go.

Yep.

Okay.

Anything else on epic gifts?

Well, I mean, I do give art.

I will say I do give art, but only to someone who I know them so well.

They have to have a specific taste.

They have to be in the home, they're going to be in, and they have to be going for a thing.

And then I would buy them a little something and I would do it small.

But whenever people have ever bought me art, it's always perfect.

Yeah, I feel like that's one of those things, if you're nailing it, and if you're unsure, don't buy it.

You probably don't got it.

But if you are like, yes, they're going to love this, then you probably know the kind of art that they already have in their home.

For sure.

Obviously art is an amazing gift, I think, and it can be personalized.

Our mom just sent us this incredible little painting that she made of the girls, and it was just on Jeremy's birthday card, but for sure it's going into a frame and it's more meaningful.

It's very, very meaningful.

So also getting little commissions is a great gift idea, especially with someone with kids.

It's just really special.

I still have all, we used to have so many people who sent us paintings of our dogs, and I still have a lot of those.

I say I have a lot of pictures of my dogs and even my dog who passed away, I have them sitting by his little earn up in my library, and I say hi to him, and I kind of look at the pictures when I do, and it's still a little part of my home that I enjoy.

Good.

Although obviously it's more sad after they pass, but it's still kind of sweet for sure.

Yeah.

Elsie: No, I'm going to make my Peggy Guggenheim pet graveyard.

So it's imminent.

There's going to be many, many, many, many, many, many pugs before the end of it all.

Emma: At the rate you're going.

Yeah.

Elsie: Stop.

Oh my gosh.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

So neighborly gifts.

So this is just like, let's do teacher, teachers, neighbors.

So teachers, we actually did this blog post on childhood magic a couple years ago where I surveyed a couple hundred teachers, sent me messages on Instagram, and it was absolutely, you wouldn't believe how unanimous, they only want money.

They only cash.

They do not want all the cute things that people make on TikTok and Instagram where it's like a basket full of stuff.

They do not want that.

They only want money.

And I know that hurts to hear, but I think that it makes sense because you can't possibly know your teacher's personal taste well enough to know if you're buying them the right color of Stanley or the right bottle of wine or the right, whatever it is, scent of candle.

You don't know them well enough to buy them a gift like that.

They just want a gift card or cash.

And I think that's respectable.

Emma: And here's what I do for pre-K teachers.

So I have him make cards.

So we do some kind of art project with blank cards where he's made the cards and I might theme it around a holiday, or if it's teacher appreciation, then it's like rainbows or whatever.

I look up something cute on Pinterest.

I do think they, I give him ideas, us from kids, they said that too.

Letters from, yeah.

And then I'll have him tell me what to put in the card and whatever he says I put in there, unless it doesn't say thank you, then I add something like that.

And then I include a picture that's like our family and they may not want to keep it, whatever.

I just think it's nice.

And then I put the cash and the cash is the main thing, but I try to put these things around it that's personal and took time.

And I want them to know that we really are grateful and appreciate them, but also it's the cash, that's the point, the main part of the gift, the thing that costs money, and the rest of it is just kind of thoughtful.

Elsie: I think that's the way to do it.

I think that's great.

Okay.

So neighbor gifts.

I dunno, this is a good one because I have not yet done a thing where I put a gift on every single neighbor doorstep, and we kind of live the way our house is situated.

We have a lot of neighbors behind too.

So we have probably seven or eight neighbors.

So I think when we moved last time, I did cookie boxes at Halloween, and that worked.

But this time I'm like, that's a lot of homemade treats and you don't know.

So yeah.

What do you think is a good idea for your neighbors?

We've lived here a few years, but we haven't really done this yet, so I still need to.

Emma: So one thing I think can be cute, especially if you're wanting to get your kids involved in making something for the neighbors.

I think that can be kind of a fun project for them.

And I also think part of the goal of the holidays is to teach them that giving is the important thing.

So anyway, one thing I think can be fun is making those jars that are like, it's like you can bake cookies from the jar.

Does that make sense?

Oh, that's cute.

Yeah.

So it's like a jar filled with flour and chocolate chips and baking powder.

So it has all the basically dry ingredients or shelf stable ingredients of something, brownies, cookies, whatever.

And then it has a little recipe card on it to tell them, add two eggs to this and bake it for this amount of time or whatever.

And you can make them really cute where you fill the jar, so all the flour at the bottom and then the sugar and then whatever.

And so it look really cute, and your kids can add a little, they can paint the outside of it.

They could add a little hand print, depending on their hq.

You can make a card.

They could decorate the flip side of the recipe card.

And it's pretty inexpensive thing to do.

And I also think, not everyone, I think people can get a little cagey sometimes about baked goods, but this is like, it's not baked.

It's just the dry ingredients.

It's very Midwestern.

It's very Midwestern.

Yeah.

It feels very, just something I would see a lot growing up, and I think it's cute and it can be a fun project.

Elsie: Cute.

Yeah.

No, I love that.

So my main neighborly thing is our little free library.

I think I talked about this in the bucket list episode, but this year I'm going to do blind date with the books.

So I'm just going to basically do my favorite books of the year always.

But I'm going to wrap them and then write kind of a little ominous, if you like, this TV show or if you like this.

Is it ominous?

Well, I mean mysterious.

Oh, okay, okay.

You know what I mean?

Little When you finish this book, you'll die.

That would be ominous.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Mysterious.

A little bit of a, I was just trying to think of ominous things to put in books.

Books.

I'm like, whoa.

Maybe if it's a scary book, but mostly they're not.

This book changed my life for the worst.

I don't know.

Ruined it.

That one book.

Yeah, that one book I talked about.

I'm very much looking forward to it.

And I saw some at the flea market one day that someone had made.

I just thought it was so cute.

Some of them said how many stars it had on Good Reads, or some of them said what categories, but it was still a mystery.

So you could kind of, definitely not, you're definitely going to be surprised.

But yeah, I just think it's so fun and it'll be a little different.

No, I love that.

Okay.

Then the last category is kind of tips.

So tipping people holidays is a good time to show your appreciation for people that help you out.

So you say what you do.

I'll say some of the things I do, and I think you can do whatever you want for sure.

It's a good time of year to just say thank you.

Yeah.

Whatever budget you have.

I think that the holidays are a great time of year to just make an envelope of cash.

I do one for me and one for my husband.

And we just know that one of our jobs during the month of December is to give these amounts of money out as big tips, either at restaurants, we try to do places where we frequent, but then also sometimes if you have it in your purse already, you might see a person in need, or you might see, I don't know, you just might.

Something might come up.

It's just something that I read it in a book once in a memoir that someone did it and we've done it ever since.

And it's just a very good, fun tradition.

And then occasionally we'll let our children give the tips too.

I think one time we did it was someone who was doing live music in a restaurant and they went up and put it in themselves.

Cute.

So yeah, I think if there's ever a time of year when you want to give extra big tips, it's that time of year.

I know some people do the little treats on their porch for the delivery men, and there's all kinds of ways that you can, that's what do be thoughtful this time of year.

Emma: I have a jar that goes on my porch at the beginning of December and it, it says, I'll put a note on it that's like, dear mail carriers and delivery folks, thank you so much.

I know you've got a lot to do this time of year.

We appreciate you, or whatever.

It just says that.

And then the jar has a whole bunch of Starbucks gift cards in it.

Nice.

So I don't like to put cash on my porch because it makes me feel a little nervous that it won't go to the right person or whatever.

So I just put a whole bunch of Starbucks gift cards.

But obviously someone could steal the Starbucks gift cards too, but whatever.

And some people only have one mail carrier, and you might know them, maybe you've gotten to talk with them before.

But I've noticed at our house at least, we seem to have a lot of different people that deliver at different times of day.

And I just want to include everyone.

Even if it's someone who only did a delivery for me in December, I still just have a bunch of cards in there and they can grab one.

Elsie: That's very cool.

I think that's, I've seen ones with food, but I've never seen one with Starbucks cards, so that's really nice.

Or whatever.

Emma: You could do a Walmart card, a target card, just something kind of universal ish.

I don't even know if Starbucks is the best, but it just feels easy.

And something they could probably even go through a drive through and use while they're working if they wanted to.

Elsie: Yeah.

So cool.

No, I love that.

Okay, well, I think that is all for our gift giving list.

Do you have anything else to add?

Emma: No.

Elsie: Okay.

You go First book report time.

Emma: Okay.

My book report is for a book that's in a series.

So I recently read Apprentice to the Villain, which is the second, and the assistant to the villain series.

I'm not familiar with it.

So this lady, I think it's kind of famous on TikTok.

TikTok, this author.

I'm not on TikTok as I've mentioned before, but I just get the sense, I feel like a lot of the marketing materials, it talks about viral TikTok author.

So I'm like, oh, okay, cool.

Really?

So she's on there.

Cool.

Anyway, this series to me feels very kind of, so it's ya a little bit.

It feels kind of Disney inspired.

So the idea, the premise is there's a young girl who's down on her luck, runs into the villain, it's fantasy.

There's dragons and stuff of her world, and she asks him for a job and she becomes the assistant to the villain.

And over time, she falls in love with the villain.

The villain falls in love with her.

It turns out he's actually not such a bad guy.

Maybe he's actually going to save the kingdom.

It turns out maybe the world thinks of him one way, but he's actually another way.

And yeah, that's sort of the premise.

And there's magic.

There's dragons, there's other characters.

There's a frog who's always holding up a sign of whatever he's thinking.

He used to be a prince, but he's been turned into a frog and it's pretty chased.

So the romance is not, I feel like I'm always talking about sex books.

So just like I said, ya, there's some kissing, there's longing.

I'm done with book two.

There's not a whole lot.

It's pretty chased, but it's very fun.

And I feel like as someone who's interested in writing as a writer, I feel like this is sort of a masterclass in cliffhangers.

Every chapter is a cliffhanger.

Every chapter ends with, and then they fell off the side of the world and then the world, it's just every single time it's wild and it's very much goosebumps, but not that's middle grade and more childish.

This is ya.

And I'm 40, and I really enjoyed reading this, so I don't know what to say, but it's just very, very, if you want every single chapter to make you keep reading, this book does it.

And it's really fun and the characters are really fun.

But like I said, it feels very to me, Disney inspired.

So if you're wanting something romantic and whimsical, but that vibe like silliness, and it's not super dark, it's not super edgy.

It's silly and fun.

This is a really fun series, and I think there's three or four, but I've only read two.

But I've really enjoyed them.

Elsie: Very cool.

Cute, cute, cute.

So what I just read is Para Nay by Susanna Clark.

So this book is a 10 out of 10, out of 10 out of 10, in my opinion.

Judging by the cover, I thought, tell me what category, what do you think?

I would've thought it was going to be like Sea.

Sea or whatever.

Yeah, okay.

I thought it was going to be like a Greek God's book by the name, the title and the cover.

And it is taking place in the modern day, but it is written in Victorian pastiche writing.

So it reads like a Victorian novel.

And I don't know why.

I'm just going to be honest.

There's a lot of things about it that I didn't understand.

I was like, what am I reading?

But in the best possible way, I was also so in it and obsessed with it the entire time.

But yeah, once I figured out it wasn't going to be Greek gods, and it was in the modern day because they were mentioning the year and stuff, and I was like, oh.

Then I was like, well, who is this person?

So I just googled it real fast.

So the RNAi is a painter.

So the character is kind of nicknamed after a painter who makes elaborate maze paintings a historical person.

So the book takes place in elaborate maze like world where everything is a room.

So you're just going from room to room to room, and there's hundreds and thousands of rooms instead of an indoor and an outdoor world, what we're used to.

So that was really cool.

There's a lot of flooding, heavy amounts of flooding in the house.

Then towards the end there's twists and stuff.

But yeah, I read the whole entire book, didn't really understand it, loved every moment of it would go back for more.

I will reread it again.

Absolutely.

For sure.

So there's some kind of magic in there, but I don't know, maybe I'm just reading books I'm too stupid for, or maybe I'm just, I don't know.

Or maybe I'm just in a zone where I'm like, either I will enjoy it and I just won't ask too many questions.

But I think I'm just kind of in that zone right now.

I'm like, if it's a thumbs up, it's a thumbs up and I don't care why I don't care what, I just am going to enjoy.

The ride thrill me.

Yes.

And yeah, it was gorgeous and it had a lot of feelings, so I really liked it.

I know that our podcast listeners had recommended this to us because sitting on my shelf and it has a thrift books, a little sticker on it's spine.

So almost always, I feel like I am just filling up my thrift books card every time we get podcast emails.

Yes.

So I know someone told us about that.

Send your book recommendations always.

I have so many books on my TBR that are from podcast.

Emma: Strong recommendations, and I love a strong recommendation.

Never give a weak recommendation.

Don't bother.

Elsie: Hey Nova, what do you have for us this week?

Nova: A meditation.

Elsie: A meditation.

Okay, I'm closing my eyes.

Nova: Imagine you are sitting down for a Thanksgiving feast.

There was ham all over the table.

Pasta stuffing all of your delicious, favorite foods.

Then it's time to eat.

You pick up the food, put it on your plate and take a bite.

It's the best food you've ever tasted.

It's time to go back to your house and time to go back to your peaceful place.

So before we go, let's say goodbyes.

Now we're ready to go back nice and calm.

Before you go, make sure to take three deep breaths.

I hope you're nice and calm now.

And happy Thanksgiving.

Happy Thanksgiving.

And make sure the people who cooked your Thanksgiving meal, you say a big thank you too, because they worked really hard to get it.

Elsie: Oh, that's nice, Nova.

Nova: All good and ready.

Elsie: Alright, have a good week.

Nova: Have a good week.

Elsie: Okay, well thank you so much for listening.

We love answering your questions and basing new episodes off of your request.

So anytime you think of something, email us at podcast@beautifulmess.com.

We'll be back next week.