One man must travel with his wife and son across multiple international borders during natural disasters, social unrest, and armed conflict to ensure his family safety.

Again, it's Greenland to Migration.

I'm Ronald Young Junior, and I'm leaving the theater all right.

This is Ronald and I am leaving the theater after seeing Greenland Migration.

Greenland Migration written by Mitchell la Fortune and Chris Sparling, directed by Rick Roman Waugh, starring Gerard Butler, Morena Bakerin, and Roman Griffin Davis.

As usual.

For complete listing of the cast and crew, check out the link in our show notes.

It is just me today.

Greenland Migration is the sequel to Greenland, which I believe came out in either twenty twenty one or twenty twenty two.

It actually has a long fraught history.

First it was supposed to be Neil blanc directing it with Chris Evans starring, and then Chris Evans and Blancamp left the project and they ended up with Gerard Butler and Rick Roman Wough.

This movie is about a comment named Clark that is about to strike planet Earth and a man named John I forget his last name, who has to get his wife and child, Nathan, over to Greenland, where there are bunkers for them.

He in particular was picked because he's a civil engineer and he has special expertise in terms of rebuilding the world in the future, so that's why he selected.

The first one went to video on demand.

This had a lot to do with the pandemic.

Did well there, eventually was licensed to HBO, did well there.

It was one of those films that did better in streaming than they could have anticipated.

So they wanted to take that enthusiasm and make a sequel, and boy, oh boy, that was a terrible, terrible idea.

This movie is not good at all.

I don't even know.

I don't even know where to start.

At the end of Greenland, the original, it ends with them going to the bunker, and sometime later, maybe less than a year, maybe like nine months after they make it to the bunker, after doing all this work, people die.

It's a very good movie.

I actually really like Greenland the first one.

They do all this work making it to the bunker.

Some time passes while they're at the bunker, and at the end of the first movie, they open the bunker and there's this bright future ahead because there's birds chirping, and they realize that they're going to have to begin the hard work of rebuilding.

Well, when the second.

Movie opens, they just basically retcon what just happened and say, oh, no, we had to go back inside because it was too bad out there and the air quality was bad, so we stayed inside.

And now now they are forced to leave the bunker and go to the site of the actual Creator's strike because for some reason, they're told that life is thriving there, there's water, the air is clean, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

So they have to go on another journey from the bunker to a different place that is in the south of France.

The premises garbage.

It basically sets up the film so they could try to do the same thing they did in the first film, except in this one there's less character development.

The first film is interesting because John is just moving back in with his wife because he cheated on her, and so this layer of tension that exists between them begins with them trying to repair their marriage, and because they're trying to repair their marriage, it adds it's just extra little cool bit of tension between them.

It kind of is the epitome of this man trying to prove to his family that he will be the father and husband that they need.

That's very good, that's a good character motivation.

We immediately know who he is who she is in that their son has Type one diabetes.

That immediately builds in an obstacle for them as they go on this journey, which becomes a part of the plot.

Everything that they did right in the first film they did wrong in this one.

It starts with them and the bunker.

They are forced out of the bunker, and then they immediately go on a different journey.

Every new character that is introduced except one is essentially killed or leaves everybody in there.

They if they are with this family, they are there to be killed so that the family can keep going.

And there's these false stakes added to the film.

There's things that are completely inexplicable at some point and maybe also I need a refresher.

I thought I had just recently saw The Last Greenland.

The movie opens with John fully in a hazmat suit traversing the outside world picking up supplies, and I'm not sure why why he's qualified to do that?

Would they not have a geologist or someone else that was out in the world, some sort of scientists out there, not a civil engineer, some sort of scientists, And I know you're thinking, well, maybe they're dead.

Not according to who we're seeing pop up in the bunker.

It seems like you're telling me everyone survived except for this civil engineer.

And as a matter of fact, there's two civil engineers.

So it seems.

Unusual that John would be the one doing this, unless you just needed Gerard Butler to be doing this because he's leading the movie, which is a mistake.

There's several times in the movie in which Gerard Butler's expertise in the movie would not put him in the position that he's in in the film.

I'm saying that to say that is part of what you do in writing.

You're saying, why would this person be here.

We say they're here because they have expertise in so and so that's why you put them there, or they're thrust into that position.

He is neither thrust and he does not have the expertise, so it makes no sense that he's leading them except that he's the lead of this film.

His wife at one point is sitting at the council of what looks like elders and experts in the bunker town that they're in underground.

Nothing is explained, nothing tells us why she's qualified to do that, none of that.

The son is played by a different actor who is older, and now the son is fifteen.

Zero character development.

The diabetes never comes up again.

They mentioned in the beginning bring your insulin.

That's it.

It is a big part of the first movie.

It is not a big part of this movie at all.

As a matter of fact, the biggest parts of this movie we get is the fact that he's a teenager and these discovering girls, which is fine as an underlying plot, but also a little bit problematic due to where the film actually ends up.

At the end, there's a character who begins to die and tries to hide it from other folks, and in a way where because of the time limit remaining on their life, there was no way they could hit it any longer.

And at one point I remember thinking, what so are y'all writing into the plot that they were just gonna die one day and weren't going to tell their family.

It's very unusual.

I don't like it.

There's no real story.

The story is that we gotta go over there.

That's the story.

The story is, hey, yeah, we gotta go over there.

That's the story.

That's not a story.

And then everything that happens bad to them is only to thicken the plot, only to thicken the plot.

So they're easily traversed obstacles that seem hard, that only to thicken the plot.

At some point they have to walk through a war zone.

We don't know why they're at war.

We're just expected to suspend disbelief.

No one even throws a line in there that's like France's really upset that England stole a bunch of resources or something like that.

None of that happens.

It's just there at war.

This part, there's a lot of fighting going on.

What is this?

At some point they say, there's insurgents over here?

What are they for?

Every single obstacle that's in.

This movie is meant to be moved so that they can get to where they're going.

There's no character development.

None of these characters are actually growing or changing, none of it.

They're not actually that.

Nothing happens to make them more or less than what they are.

It's tough to watch because again.

You start with this strong story in Greenland and add all these little bits of tension and these other characters, and it makes it very interesting.

The father in law as a character.

Andrew Batcheler King Batch from Social Media is in it.

He has a very good role.

It's a featured role and he's in it for a short while, but he's very good.

There's just the first film is so good.

Roy from Pam and Roy from the Office is in it.

I'll never know that guy's name.

He'll always be Roy to me.

He's in the first one, has a very good role.

There's just several times in the movie in which you could tell they are developing these characters.

They are putting them in impossible situations and also pushing them forward, which is fine.

That is something that you can do.

But what's happening in this one is we have a fixed point and we got to get there, and we'll get there no matter what.

We're not gonna we're in every obstacle that comes up.

I mean, there's a bridge at one point, and I'm thinking, of course they're gonna cross the bridge, but it's gonna be harrowing.

Oh no, you know it's not.

They're not gonna lose anything crossing the bridge.

They're gonna lose other actors, They're gonna lose background people and extras, but they're not gonna lose any of the main cast.

So it's very tough.

Even at some point when there is a sacrifice to be made in the film, it's made in a way that made me roll my eyes and get irritated more than it did make me feel anything.

So it's just it's not good.

There's not enough world building.

I don't know what's happening in this world anymore.

I knew what was happening in the first world.

I knew the government was at the bare minimum trying to organize people and get them to places, so I knew that some semblance of the government existed.

I would have liked to have seen that be more organized and more of those be prominent characters in the story.

In this film, there's several times in which the characters are making bad decisions.

They are attacked by people in the middle of nowhere, and they take time to bury one of their dead, which I just did not understand how they would have the time or the wherewithal to do that, except for something else that happens while they're burying the person that then comes up again later in the film, and it's only a line.

It's not like sub something they have to face or anything.

It's it's it wasn't good.

I'm I'm a little irritated because I had other stuff to do, and I really saw this as a responsibility to make sure, oh cool, gotta see this movie.

But this one was bad enough that it actually felt like a waste of time.

So with all of that being said, this is a one of five star movie.

This is one star.

I give it one star because that's the lowest I can give it.

I could give it zero stars, but it was a movie and I did see it in the theater, so it does exist, even though it does nothing to justify its existence whatsoever.

I think you should skip this one.

I would not even watch it on streaming.

Yeah, with that leaving the theater is a production of Oh It's Big Ron Studios.

I mixed this episode, and part of this job is watching movies that are not going to be good, that are going to be terrible.

Typically, I like to be in the conflicted range between about two and three stars.

This one, when it's a one star movie that is really a waste of time.

It is a waste of time.

But I still have to record this, I have to edit this.

I had to pay for this ticket.

There was no screening, and I'm not surprised why there was no screening.

When they don't screen a movie, it's because they don't want it to get panned.

They still want to try to make money on it, so they let the audience come see it and then let the word of mouth end up killing the screenings anyway.

It's very funny how this works out.

I've learned a lot about the business of movies in that way.

But that means I was on the front line, and I'm the one telling you not to go see this movie.

If you have not seen it, do not waste your time.

I'm saying that to say, that's the type of work that I put in here.

On leaving the theater, I have this, I have wait for it, I have Heartbreaker.

I have a lot of stuff on my plate right now, but I'm working hard and I'm going to get it all done because I am relentless, I'm insane, and i am resilient.

This is a labor of love, but it is labor If that means something to you, you should join the patreonare dot com slash owits big Ron or go to the link in our show notes.

Show art from Heather Wilder.

Theme music by the mysterious Breakmaster Cylinder.

For more information about Greenland migration, check out our show notes.

You can follow me on Instagram, blue Sky, TikTok, threads, or letterboxed at Owitz Big Ron.

That's at O H I T S b I g R O N.

You can find out more about this show and other Owiz Big Bron Studio shows by following us on Instagram at Owitz big Ron Studios.

Leaving the theater will be back soon.

Thanks for listening.

I'm Ronald Young Junior and I'm but little irritated because I had other stuff to do,