I just announced all my tour dates.

They just went on sale.

It's called the Heighth and Mighty Tour.

I will be starting debuting my new material in February of next year, so I'm coming to Washington, d c Norfolk, Virginia, Madison, Wisconsin, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Detroit, Michigan, Cleveland, Columbus, and Cincinnati, Ohio, Denver, Colorado, Portland, Maine, Providence, Rhode Island, Springfield, Massachusetts, Chicago, of Course, Indianapolis, Indiana, Louisville, Kentucky, Albuquerque, Masa, Arizona, Kansas City, Missouri, Saint Louis, Missouri, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Nashville, Tennessee, Charlotte, North Carolina, Durham, North of Carolina, Saratoga, California, Monterey, California, Modesto, California, and port Chester, New York, Boston, Massachusetts, Portland, Oregon, and Seattle, Washington.

I will be touring from February through June.

Those are the cities that I'm in.

Pre sale started last week, so tickets are flying.

I haven't added second shows yet, but we probably will be to some of these.

So go get your tickets now if you want good seats and you want to come see me perform.

I will be on the high and mighty tour.

Hi Catherine, Hi Chelsea.

How's Spain?

Spain is relaxing and reinvigorating and reduconating and regenerative with an R.

I am so glad to hear that.

What are you spending your time doing?

Well?

Doug got arrested.

I brought Doug.

He is Apparently they're not allowed.

On the beaches dogs, but that's fulltient.

So I'm just ignoring every person that says that to me and pretending that I don't understand what they're saying.

This is where no oblo Espanol comes in real habit no.

La Espanol right now.

But he is wiped out every day.

He is a First of all, he goes in the water and he drinks the salt water.

So he hasn't gotten sick yet, so I guess.

But I think it puts him to sleep or he's still jelacked.

I can't tell.

But he loves it.

We have a we had a vest for him, but he doesn't really go far enough in for the vest.

So yeah, anyway, he loves the beaches.

Somebody told me I have to get up at before the lifeguards are out at seven to take him on.

He said, that's when everyone goes out with their dogs.

I'm like seven, I'm on fucking vacation, buddy, you coming to get my dog instead.

It's not even light out at seven, right, right?

But yes, it's been a joy.

Everywhere Doug goes, he's treated like a lied the Lion King especially.

I've noticed though that it's discriminatory because when he's dry, people respect him more because he's fluffier and more imposing, and when he's wet he looks meek like a pussy.

I mean, he is just a sweet boy.

So I'm not surprised that he's getting a lot of getting a lot of fans in your neighborhood.

Baby, Yes, so that's happening.

I know there's a lot happening in America that I'm gonna miss this weekend, like that No King's protest.

Mmm.

So let's remind our listeners that you can find one in your area at no Kings dot org.

And I'll put a link to that in the description.

Yes, And I also want to let our listeners know that I am going to boycott Home Depot since they cooperate with ICE and they have these like scanning systems.

What is it called flock.

I think it's called flock anyway, They basically surveil you when you go there, and they could share that information, make s tovail your license plates, and they can share that information with ICE or the police whoever they feel like and like that's not American, And with everything that's happening with ICE, I am looking for companies to boycott that are profiting from ICE.

And Home Depot is also backed by Peter Thiel who runs Palenteer, who profits off of detention centers, emputty people engages.

So I am going to boycott that store.

No one that lives in my house is going to be purchasing anything from Home Depot.

We're a Loew's family from now on.

Low's is no good either.

I Lows has some associations with ICE as well, So we are not going You're going to ACE Hardware now, I guess.

Okay, okay, I can get down with an ACE hardware.

Yeah.

I know.

Home Depot at least is also like one of the major Trump donors out there, so so.

And it's not about boycotting and soil they like meet this like you know, requirements of not cooperating with ICE.

It's literally about like why we're in this situation and this corporate cat you know, like capitalism, and that would they they own us?

And we have to start doing things without all of these major corporations, which is going to be really hard for people to do, myself included.

I mean, I'm relying on all of this stuff, but.

We have to.

Neil Young had a post saying, like, we need to buy locally.

I know you don't think we can, but we can.

This is enough with corporate America.

They are you know, they're handing over our democracy.

I didn't he didn't see that for Radom, but that's what I took away and I agree.

Yeah, I mean, since we've been boycatting Target since the beginning of the year, like I am just sort of like, what was I spending however many hundred doll or some month there?

You know what I mean?

Why was I going there?

It's been so easy to switch over.

To companies that actually are doing good things that pay their workers a living wage, like Costco is one that's kind of where we've started going for.

Bulk stuff, and there's others as well.

But also just like forgifts for different things, like shopping local wherever you can, like I know, at least in our neighborhood, Like there are so many empty shop windows, like just because these smaller companies that can't or you know, mom and pop places can't stay in business.

So whenever you can try and patronize smaller businesses.

Absolutely absolutely.

I'm reading Malala's book right now because she's on an upcoming podcast, so I'm enjoying that her newest book.

I can't wait to have her.

And then I just finished watching the show who we have one of the stars on of Task.

If you guys are watching Task on HBO, then you know how good it is.

It's so good, it's so good.

Yeah, I think we're on the season finale.

I ended up going all the way, so I won't say any spoiler alerts because we had that little access thing and I finally got I realized how to use it.

But anyway, I first met her in the Goonies and her name is Martha Plimpton, and that's our guest today, so please welcome her.

Oh yeay, here we are.

Hi, oh Hi, love.

The Plimpton and I'm so happy to see you.

I'm happy to see you.

How have you been?

Well?

I don't say this to many people, but you kind of remind me of myself.

I don't know if a lot of people whether or not that's a compliment or not.

I don't know if a lot of people come up to you and say, everyone tells me that I remind them of you.

Oh, that's nice.

I find that.

I think that's nice.

I think it's a compliment.

Well, that's a question.

Actually do people say they say it to Do they say it to me that I remind them of No?

No, they don't, No, because I feel like you remind me of me.

Well, I'm very flattered.

What can I say?

I mean, there's nothing to really say.

I just feel like ever since I saw you, when I first laid eyes on you must have been the Goonies and I was like, that's my personality right there.

And I've loved watching you through all of your work over the years, and most recently in Task, which is an HBO limited series with Mark Ruffalo where you play a real shit kicking boss who is fucking awesome.

Another great role for you.

Thank you.

How has it been working with Mark?

Oh?

He's you know, it would be fine if he was, you know, a nice guy.

I know, I know, it's ridiculous.

It's too bad that he's such an asshole, you know what I mean.

No, he's just he's the loveliest, funniest, most dear guy.

He's just a great family man, loves his wife, loves his kids, loves you know, he's just great.

He's just a great, great human being.

So it's been a pleasurable experience working on that show.

Absolutely, absolutely.

You know, Catherine said something and not opening which I thought you should repeat yourself.

I don't take credit for.

I told my husband, like, after the just the first scene that you're in in that show, I'm like, she is playing chess where everybody else is playing checkers.

Like there are so many.

Specific things you're doing as an actor, even just in that first scene, and some of it's your character, but some of it's I mean, it's just I was so blown away by the nuances that you used.

It's just fantastic you.

That's very very kind.

I appreciate that.

Thank you.

Yeah, you really jump off the screen and you're on camera.

It's very obvious that you're now I don't want to say taking over the scene because there are other actors involved, but but you know, you really add to the flavor of it every time you're on camera.

So I'm so glad that that's lovely to hear.

I really thank you.

It's all in the writing, really, I mean, Brad Inglesby did all the heavy lifting for me, you know, and you know, and when you're working with a guy like Mark or any of these terrific actors, it's just really it just just very easy.

It just feels very very natural, and you know, things just sort of fall into place really nicely.

So and how did this rule.

Come to you?

Did they just offer it to you?

Is that how it works for you?

I want to say they did, although I don't know.

You don't remember, I don't remember.

I know I got the I know I got the script when I was working on the Regime with Kate Winslet, who of course did Brad's earlier show Me Or of Eastown.

Which all requires that Philadelphia accent, which is very very hard to do.

It's quite an annoying accent, to be honest.

Why.

It's not an easy one.

It's not ana, which is why I opted to just avoid it altogether.

I don't I'm not even I'm not even trying really well.

You don't really have to, though, because it's like you guys are all detective necessary.

You don't really know, you don't have I don't.

You don't have to know where I'm from.

You know, I could be from anywhere.

I could be from Ohio, I could be from New Jersey.

It could be from DC, I could be from anywhere.

Yeah, unless you're ordering a whatder ice, you're off the hook.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Kate did a great job of it on Mayor of Eastown.

There was also I had a roombate in my early twenties in LA.

She was from the most southerly part of New Jersey, so she had that because I was from New Jersey and I had the Jersey accent, but not that accent.

And she would say like she would say pantyhose and moist, like oh's too long.

And I was like, stop talking like that.

I'm like that, you're from New Jersey.

You're acting like that's what we sound like.

Don't talk like that.

It's already bad enough with my My Jersey accent comes out when I have a cocktail, you know.

Then I'm like I started slurring a little bit.

Okay, So are you sort of homeless right now or you just moved?

Are you kind of I'm selling my house in Brooklyn, you know, deciding to do it right now when the world is in such a state of chaos and nobody knows if we're going to have a massive stock market crash.

Not a great time for time.

The main thing is is that I'm leaving New York, which is where I'm from.

I'm born and raised there, and it's very heavy to know that you're disconnecting from your hometown and you're not going to have a base there anymore.

It's very it's very jarring.

It's disconcerting, but you know, it's I sort of feel like it's time.

I feel like me and New York are kind of on the on the outs right now.

I can relate to this.

I feel like I'm a little bit on the outs, not a little bit a lot on the outs with Los Angeles.

I'm over Los Angeles and I'm kind of stuck here for a while until I finished this stupid fucking house that I've been building for four years.

And it's been the biggest nightmare so far my adult to life.

So I can't wait to have it done and then get out of here, like either sell it, rent it.

I don't know yet, but right and I'm thinking about going to New York because that's I've never lived in New York.

I'm from New Jersey.

I feel like I.

Want to stay active.

LA is a very sleepy, inactive place.

But I also know that you're going to London, which is pretty much on par with New York in terms of activity.

Well, I mean I think it is, but it's also good.

There's just a generally there's it's a less kind of agitated feel there.

And I don't know if it's because it's novelty for me because I'm not from there or what, but I just feel like there's a more of a sense of sort of common decency there, you know, a sense of politeness, a sense of sort of anticipating your fellow man's humanity, you know, recognizing it, like the people actually wait to board the train before, you know, so people can get off, uh huh.

And New York is just for me, you know, I've lived there my whole life, Like I said, I'm born and raised there, and right now, I just if I want my city Jones taken care of I think London is the place that's more sort of my speed.

Right now, I'm not I am getting to the place where, you know, I'm all almost fifty five, and I just want, you know, I just want some peace and quiet for Christ's sake, you know.

I just want.

To just take a chill.

I want to be around nature as much as I can.

I want to ride horses, I want to you know, all that stuff, and feed my birds and my bird feeders and the hummingbirds.

You know what I mean.

I'm into just taking a little breather.

So you feel like New York has become a bit too hectic, is what I'm gathering.

It's too hectic and it's too hostile, and you know, I mean, it's just, you know, I want some warmth.

I want some common decency.

Do you think that's because of the political aspect of things or just because New York has been I.

Think New York is kind of well.

First of all, nobody who can afford to live there can is like they're all wealthy or children, you know what I mean.

Saint Mark's Place, it is not the sort of raw looking Lower East Side place it used to be.

It's now like covered in you know, outdoor cafes with people drinking apparall spritzes and influencers, you know, walking around with their beach waves hair, and you.

Know what I mean, it just doesn't feel like New York to me anymore.

Yeah, you know.

And on top of that, it's just mean, it's just you know, when I walk down the street, I want to say hello to be I want to go, hi, how you doing.

I like your shirt?

Or I let you know, hey, you look great.

I don't want to walk down the street and have people like shove me or I'm just over it.

Yeah, I hear you.

I think it's the political thing, you know, Eric Adams is a disaster.

Yeah, you know, we keep New Yorkers keep electing these schmucks, and I just, you know, I'm hoping for a mom Donnie.

Why does New York always elect such idiots?

What?

I don't know.

It's like smart.

People ostensibly, like you would think that New Yorkers would have their shit together above and beyond almost all cities in this cou I know.

And I can't even believe that that Cuomo is still like I'm under I mean, I'm just like, what is going on where is everybody's head at I don't know.

I just I'm really hopeful for Mom Donnie.

I hope that he pulls through, and I hope he wins.

But if he doesn't, I mean, it's even more reason to just get the hell out.

Yeah, Andrew Cuomo is like the death cough of American politics.

I mean, and he's not even the worst one.

I mean, he's back out, but there are so many worse ones.

But it's such a representation of how old and out of touch the Democratic Party is is to be holding onto Cuomo and putting him up against Mandanni like a every you know, all the Jews are like, because I'm a Jew, All the Jews are like, no, no, no, he's an anti semit I'm like, listen, he's walked all these things back.

There is a new like there is new blood coming through, Like he understands.

You can't say that he understands there's tons of Jewish people in New York City and that that kind of line of thinking isn't appropriate.

And you have to give people room to make like make amends, make alogies, and change the goalposts in terms of understanding who's electing you and who is going to be living in the city that you're going to be in charge of.

So I don't look at it from like a Jewish standpoint, Like I'm not I'm not going to vote for I mean, I don't live in New York anyway, but if I did, I probably would vote for mont Donnie.

Yeah, I mean, I probably I would.

I think it's going to be my last election as a New Yorker, and I think I'm going mom, Donnie and so.

So you obviously say love London.

I love it.

Yeah, You've spent a lot of time there.

I love working there, and I get work there.

You know, I'm like here where it's a little bit harder for you know, older women, particularly, you know, older women with a mouth, you know.

But yeah, they tend to respect women there a little bit, more older actresses.

It's kind of it's shocking.

It's just concerning.

Yeah, but I like it.

I like it.

That's nice to know.

That's nice enough.

I know that you refer to yourself as self coupled.

Tell tell me what that is.

I mean, it's pretty self explanatory, but I would love for you to open about it.

I am, I am happy, I am and I'm in a committed relationship with myself.

Love it, and I'm really really enjoying it.

I'm really happy.

I'm not interested in relationships.

I'm not interested in dating.

I like doing what I want to do when I want to do it, going where I want to go when I want to go.

I don't want anyone in my.

House farting, taking up space, taking up oxygen.

You know what I mean.

I like a dinner party, but then go home.

I know what I mean.

I love my I love my single life.

I love having my space, my solitude.

It's really just, you know, I'm very happy.

It's so interesting women our age.

I'm fifty, you're fifty five.

It's just women our age are just like anyone who gets divorced or isn't in a relationship at this age is almost so turned off by the idea.

It's just not even it's not even something I spend a moment of my day thinking about.

My friend said to me the other day, you got to you know what I was telling my friend.

She goes, I don't want to get old and dry, and I'm like dry, what do you mean, are you Regina?

And she's like, yeah, I go you masturbate.

All the time.

That's all you have to do to keep the Jesus juices flowing.

Like that's scientific.

And she's like, that's ridiculous.

It's actually not ridiculous.

If you lose your regina, you don't have to use it with another person.

You can use it with yourself and it will remain And and she was like I.

Just there, Yeah, you know, give give give it chores, use it as a cubicle.

Absolutely, yeah, give it things to do around the house.

And she was like, yeah, I went through this face thinking like, oh, I have to keep having sex in order to keep my vagina operable.

And I was like, no, no, that's not actually true.

And and then she's like and then the last couple of months, I've come to this place where I'm just like I don't think about men at all.

And I'm like, I know, it's like a coming of age.

There's a time in your life where, like Catherine, you're married, so that's a different situation, happily married.

But there is once a woman either like gets divorced, Like we don't feel the need at a certain age to shack up again, because you know, realize how beautiful being independent and untethered.

Is Yes, it is absolutely beautiful.

And also, you know, let's face it, I mean I haven't had the best track record anyway, usually most of the time.

So I'm fine with just giving myself at a little hiatus, a little break.

Yeah, yeah, I know.

Yeah, you did at River Phoenix when you were really young, didn't you.

Yeah, but that was forty years ago.

Well yeah, but you were dealing with that stands out of my brain because you were dealing with such adult issues at such a young age, dealing with his addiction, dealing with fame, dealing with all of the things that you had to deal with as a little girl.

Basically, So how does a teenage girl, because you were essentially a teenager right when you started dating, I think, yeah, how did you handle that those big issues as a small like a younger person.

I don't know.

I don't think you really think about it.

When you're in the middle of it.

You don't think about it.

You just love the person that you're with, and you know, I still love him, I miss him every day.

You're not really thinking about all that.

You're just kind of going with you know what you know, which is you you know, love, kindness, you know, attachment, you know, a little bit of fear, a little bit of nervousness, all the normal things that go along with having a first love.

You know what I mean.

Family.

You know, I love his family, I love you know, I loved all of that.

I love and I loved him greatly.

But I don't think I was like, you know, sure, there were difficulties and there were hard things about it.

I just think of it as a wonderful experience, beautiful time in my life.

Kind a connection, right, Yeah, I know you're doing the movie East of Eden.

You're adapting the movie East of Eden, which is really exciting.

That was one of the rather limited series.

Yeah, really so excited.

And who else is in that?

That's Florence Pugh, great and Mike faced and Kieran Hines and Tracy Letts and Zoe Cazanne adapted it and created and you know, she's sort of created this limited series and it's so in such an incredible book.

I'm ashamed to say I didn't read it until I was I knew I was going to do the series, and when I finally read it, I was just it's got to be.

I think it's my favorite American novel.

It's just so so beautiful.

And Zoe, who of course is the granddaughter of Elia Kazanne, who is the director of the first film with James Dean.

She's just done an incredible job adapting this thing and focusing really on the whole entire life of Kathy.

You know, this central female character who's so oh man, she is a dark, dark soul, that one really dark.

Yeah.

East of Eiden is one of the first books that my father forced me to read when I was eight years old.

It was Anna Corena Anna Karenina eight.

Yeah, because he had to keep me busy, because he knew I was going to be trouble, or he thought I was going.

To be trouble.

He wasn't wrong.

I read Anna Corenna.

I read East of Eden by John Steinbeck, which was at eight years old all I remember, I mean, I don't I've reread it since then.

But the descriptiveness of John steinbad.

Like the descriptive writing but also very beautiful, but also quite annoying when you're eight years old, you know what I.

Mean to.

I mean, now I can appreciate the beauty in descriptive writing, but at that time I was like, if I hear one more thing about the leaves on the trees and the color.

Like I got it right.

There are fucking trees and there are fucking leaves everywhere you look.

But what an amazing and iconic American author.

You know, just completely And I don't know why.

I mean, you know, I sort of I was afraid because my grandfather was in the movie The Grapes of Wrath.

John Chardine's my grandfather and he plays preacher in Grapes of Wrath.

And I don't know, I just I for some reason, I was afraid to read it because I thought maybe he'd be a little bit like Hemingway, who I can't stand.

I mean, just as a writer.

I just don't like him.

And also he seems like he was kind of a horrible person.

But I was so wrong.

I was so wrong.

It's one of the most beautiful and you really feel like you can smell that California air, that mountain desert dry you know, scrub oak, you know, and the soil and the dirt.

You really feel like you can just you're just in it.

And I love that.

Yeah, it's very Americana like for there's certain authors that just represent like American and.

It's like biblical.

It's like as a it's a biblical story basically what he's.

Situation.

Yes, it's a canaan able thing, but it's also a good and evil thing and the inherent.

Whether or not you're born evil or if it's beat into you.

And it's just this wonderful all these themes of redemption and salvation and forgiveness.

I mean, it's just a gorgeous book.

And I think that the series is really it's going to be really good.

I have a feeling where are we exciting about it?

We shot it already in New Zealand, which is shockingly very similar to early California, early you know, eighteen hundreds California, because it wasn't settled until the eighteen hundred, so the architecture.

All really looks like the Old West.

It's really kind of wild in the northern island of New Zealand Auckland area, So that's where we shot it.

It was incredible.

Yeah, New Zealand is so nice to be in New Zealand.

Yeah, what do you think about that?

Do you think people are born evil?

You know, that's a good question, and I don't know if we ever know the answer.

There's certainly people who seem they like they were born evil.

Yeah, like Steven Miller, it seems like he was born evil.

It seems like, yeah, it seems like he might have been born that way.

But it also makes sense that you could be so traumatized, you know, at something that happened so early on in your life, and be so kind of ignored neglected that you could become horrible.

Parents were horrible, horrible, awful people too.

I mean, you know, I don't know.

But then again, you have people who are perfectly nice and then they you know, they have a Jeffrey Dahmer, So I don't know who knows, you know, I don't know.

It's a good question.

Are you good at forgiving people who have wronged you?

I'm good at for giving people up to a point, and then when the when a line gets crossed, then I'm done.

So I'll give a person many many chances.

But then when that line gets cross when there's like a betrayal or like a you know, if someone really really doesn't have my back in a moment when it's necessary, or if someone really really seems to be just serving themselves at my expense, then I and I say Cyanara.

Yeah, I have the same thing.

I take on a lot and then I get and then it.

Hits critical mass and I you know, way, Yeah, I'm done now out of my face.

And when I'm done, I'm really really done.

Yeah.

I don't like to go.

I don't like recidivism, especially in relationships sexually and friendships.

Like once it's over, it's a wrap, that's it.

Yeah, so talk to us about the relationship with abortion and trans writes.

I think you made a comment and I thought that was interesting to illuminate for this conversation.

Yeah.

Yeah, I mean I think that that they fall under the umbrella of bodily autonomy and doing what you feel and know is right for you and your body, and not letting the state control what you do with your own body and what you want to be in your own body and what you are in your own body.

I think that boat they're both incredibly they're completely intertwined, and you know, you often don't see one restriction of one.

Group without the other.

You know, they always come in pairs or you know, whenever you want, whatever formulation you want to use, and they're both based in a core hatred of women and women's difference and women's complexity and women's I don't know the breadth of women's experience.

Americans, a large a number of them just really really hate us.

They really hate women, and they don't care if we die or if we suffer.

And when I think they don't especially like about trans people.

And of course I'm speaking to this as someone who is not trance, so I don't have the direct experience, but my guess is that what they hate so much about a trans person is the person making their own choice, living their own destiny, truthfully, freely, honestly, openly.

They just cannot stand that's something that they are unable to do someone else is able to do.

They just don't like anybody being able to have full self.

Determination and autonomy because they believe in control and silence.

That's exactly what's happening.

And it's not just in an American issue.

It's a global issue.

Yes, absolutely, Yeah.

People don't want women to succeed in the way that women are succeeding, or to be as independent as women have become.

You co founded a women's healthcare called A is for.

Yeah, it's basically I'm not a member of the organization anymore, although I wish them well, it just was time for me to move on.

But yeah, I co founded this about thirteen or fourteen years ago, and it was basically an effort to take the stigma away from the whole subject because abortion is healthcare.

And we noticed, you know, it was happening during this whole Sandra Fluck thing in the ACA Obamacare, and Sandra Flick was suing Notre Dame for not covering her contraceptives in when she was in university there, and you know, she was being called all sorts of horrible names, and women were being told to keep their legs closed, or put an aspen between your knees or what all these ridiculous things people were saying, and you know, it just struck us that that the core of what was happening at that time.

Of course has changed a bit, it's mutated, it's you know, grown like hideous limbs, and you know, spread in various ways.

But at that time, we felt that the core issue was stigma and we wanted to fight back.

And so you know, that's kind of what the basis of AS four was to begin with.

And now they do great work in supporting on the ground Abortion Fund, independent clinics, legal aid organizations and things like this.

What is your advice to women listening like about fighting back.

In the current moment we're living in, you know, in America.

First of all, it's very important to remember that abortion is still available in this country.

That MiFi pristone and Mesa prost doll here by the way, here two rings I have.

There's a Myfi pristone and that's the Mesa prostall ring.

They do take every morning when you wake up.

Yeah, they're very safe and they're very available, and obviously you should check out what the laws are in your state.

And there are several doctors now being chased down who are working in shield law states who are being attacked, you know, like the doctor from New York who's the Louisiana is going after him.

I think there's a doctor in the Bay Area who's Louisiana is going after her or him attempting to sue them for wrongful death.

I mean, it's just insane what these people are willing to do.

But it's important for women to know that and for anyone with a uterus to know that abortion is available right and you can avail yourself of the tools to self.

Manage your own abortion.

And anyone who tells you that you can't, or that you shouldn't, or that it's reversible is lying to you.

So that's the most important thing to know, I.

Think, and to remember the abortion is a community responsibility, as my friend Amilia Bono at Shout Your Abortion says, you know, abortion is it's everyone's job to make sure that every single person in their community is able to make their own decisions about their own life.

It's everyone's job to stand up for them and to support them and to protect them.

Yeah, So I think those are just two things that I would say.

Yeah, and especially to states that like Texas where abortion has becomeing legal and I mean I know a woman who had to fly to San Francisco to get her abortion.

You know that is costly.

So like, if you are listening to this podcast and you live in one of those places where abortion has been criminalized, please make sure that you are helping your friends and helping women and thinking about their healthcare as an issue of health like this is every woman has the right to decide what to do with her body, not the state, not the government.

So if there's someone in your area that needs help, that needs help financing, or you know, getting out of that state.

Please make sure that you are thinking of others and not just of your own community.

You know, try and find organizations that help support that and help finance people's abortions in other states.

Yeah, I'll put a few of those organizations.

If you're somebody who finds yourself in need, some organizations you can reach out to in the description here.

So mm hmm, fantastic.

Right, we're going to take a break.

We're going to be right back with Martha Plimpton and we're going to take some callers.

Okay, and we're back with Martha plumpt In.

Martha back.

We're giving real life.

Advice to callers on this podcast.

Okay, are you ready?

Yeah?

I bet you.

I hope.

Oh man.

I mean, with the state of my life, I'm not sure I'm qualified, but qualified all let's go for.

What I need is somebody who's not involved in your situation to give you objective advice.

Yes, okay, yes, that's the thesis that age mark.

Yeah, do it all right?

Well, this first one is just an email, but it's continuing on with our theme of abortion.

So Megan says Dear Chelsea.

In twenty nineteen, right before the pandemic, I had an abortion.

It went as well as an abortion could go, and I was ultimately happy with my decision.

However, since then, I have developed a fear around having sex.

I've been happily married for five years, and I still think my husband is sexy as hell.

But every time we have sex or even think about having sex, the only thing I can think is what if I get pregnant again?

Major buzzkill.

With everything happening in our country right now around reproductive rights, I'm terrified that I could find myself in a position where I'm forced to go through with an unwanted or non viable pregnancy.

Thankfully, I live in a blue state where things seem to be chill on the abortion front for now.

But if the last few years have taught me anything it's that anything can happen.

All this political upheaval, the pandemic, plus day to day stressors have taken a serious toll on my libido.

Two.

I'd love to get back into enjoying sex.

It's such a great way to relax and get out of my head and into my body.

Plus connect with my husband, but I'm not sure what steps I need to take to get there.

Any advice, Megan.

It's called birth control, Megan, Hello, get them.

What kind of questions are these?

Birth control?

I ud you can take a pill.

You can.

You can get the melliphystaprone, the mephisto prone memphis municiprone.

You can get that meta musol.

Get the melatonin melatonin also great.

No, you can get birth control.

And you're in a blue state.

First of all, you're safe.

You should definitely start enjoying your sexual life.

You know, be happy that you have someone you're attracted to.

That is a victory in and of itself.

Yeah, doing some meditation just to like actually like get into your body totally outside of the sex stuff could help you learn to sink into your body when you.

Guys are having sex.

I think my other big piece of advice is like, if that's not working, like find a somatic therapist.

Like.

I also think that, you know, women put so much pressure on themselves.

You know, maybe it's your husband's fault, right, Maybe he's not communicating.

Maybe it you know, I mean, it might not be you, it might be him.

It might be you know, she says he's sexy and everything, but that ain't enough.

You know, you got to be a good communicator.

You've got to be empathic, and you've got to you know, you didn't say really much about what it was like when you went through your abortion, if you went through it with your husband, if he was supportive, if he was distant, or if you felt lonely.

So that's that's also, you know, don't try not to blame yourself for all this.

Blame it on somebody else.

Blame it on a man.

They never get any blame the Blame it on him.

So there's some sound advice.

But also if your issue is I love it.

If your issue is that you're worried about getting pregnant, that is so simple to fix, Like you, so go and get the proper go to your obgi N and figure out what the best birth control for you is period end of story.

And then or have your husband wear a condom or has.

Your husband yeah, getting your personality or where Yeah, wearing a condom for men who are married.

I love that idea.

Yeah, And men are like what excuse me?

Ye?

Also, you know what you can do?

I mean, if you're so worried about getting pregnant.

I got an oblationion and those are available.

They don't advertise those, but that's where they go in and they scorch your uterine lining so that you don't get a period anymore.

And I don't get a period anymore, and you can't get pregnant after that.

I mean, you're ninety nine percent, you know, safe from getting pregnant.

So that's another.

Or you could, yeah, just get your tubes tied too.

You can do that too.

My friend this weekend, I was away in Tafino this weekend and she said, I like getting my period.

It makes me feel womanly.

And we just all looked at her, like, what what fuck are you talking about?

What likes getting their period?

Oh my gosh, she must not have very many cramps.

But well, our next question comes from Teagan.

It's a little bit of a long one, but it's a really well written email.

So she says, Dear Chelsea, first, thank you for being the kind of persons strangers like me feel safe spilling their guts to a Few years ago, my father in law passed away suddenly, and my mother in law, after talking it through with her kids, sold her house.

My husband and I live on a large property and generously offered her the option to build a small cottage in her backyard.

The idea was she'd spend less, be closer to her grandkids, and have her own private space.

Until the cottage was built, she'd temporarily live upstairs in our house with her terrible, spiteful cat.

Sorry not sorry, Oh, here we go.

She has a bedroom, bathroom, living room, and kitchenette.

The plan six months while our own two toddlers, then ages two and three, continued sleeping in her room to make space for her.

We share our kitchen, a life, a ceiling, all temporary, right.

Well, We started the cottage without permits, naively thinking it would be simple, and three months in the town shut it down.

Since then, the permitting process has been a soul sucking, hope killing, multi year nightmare.

Do you know anything about that, Chelsea.

Here we are in twenty twenty five and her cottage is just now almost done.

That means she's still upstairs and my kids, now five and seven, still share a bedroom with me and my husband.

Oh my god, let me say this.

She's not a monster in law.

She's kind, She's helped us financially, she loves us, But she's always been a lot.

Even when I was a teenager dating her son, she was already the kind of person I felt mildly allergic to, chatting to a level that feels like psychological warfare, socially unaware, messy, kind of lazy, and completely incapable of reading a room.

She talks through every silence, she lingers in doorways when I'm just trying to mother my children in peace.

Being around her twenty four to seven has turned all those little quirks into rage triggers.

For me.

I twitch at the sound of her footsteps.

I get angry when she breathes too loud, and I know that makes me sound up kind, but.

It is the truth.

So after three years of this, I've grown deeply resentful.

Early motherhood was supposed to be sacred for me, and instead I've been in this constant state of stress.

Meanwhile, my husband and I have tiptoed around our intimacy, spending three years as a family of four crammed into one bedroom.

I know she didn't ask for this tragedy either.

She lost her husband, she's retired, she's lonely.

She probably means well, But just because I know all that doesn't mean I know how to stop feeling the way I do.

My husband's on the same page.

I'm not proud of the tone.

I take with her, or how I avoid her like a sulky teenager, or how I let her mere presence ruin my day.

I don't want credit, I don't want pity.

I want tools to stop mentally living in this resentment swamp.

I want to be kind, especially because she's not going anywhere.

She'll be fifty feet from my back door for the rest of our lives.

How do I get there?

Sincerely, teaken Hi, this is our special guest, Martha Plimpton is here today.

Hi.

Hi, Wow, what a conundrum.

Yes, you've survived.

First of all, you've survived this.

I can't.

I mean, I cannot believe you've been sharing a bedroom with your children.

I can relate seven, I can relate to first.

I mean, I can relate to a lot of it.

But I can relate to the real estate fiasco of it all.

It is is soul crushing to constantly be told and to take an advantage of over and over again, and be told something is going to come, be ready and not be ready.

It's just like the emotional toll that that takes.

I totally get it.

But here's the great news.

She's moving into the cottage, so fifty feet away is going to be exactly the amount of space you need.

That might not sound like a lot, but she's going to be out of your you know, like inside your house.

And even though she's going to be loitering around and lingering, it's going to change the dynamic like exponentially just by having your own room back and giving your kids their own room, you know.

And so first of all, I would if I were in your situation, I would have started taking well betrin or something like.

I would take a moodlifter.

Honestly, I would go to my doctor and be like, listen, something is really irritating me and I need something to take the edge off.

I do that in times in my life when I really need it, when I'm very, very irritable, and I don't do it long term, but I do ask my doctor, like, what's something that will take the edge off.

Another way to go is to actually just write down the kind of relationship that you want to have with her.

Write down that now you can even do this together with her, You can even bring her into this and go, hay usen, we just went through something that most families don't survive.

We survived it.

Let's figure out how we can move forward with giving us.

Each other the right amount of space.

She couldn't have loved living inside your house as much either, Like she didn't.

She probably was irritated by that whole situation.

Yeah.

Absolutely, it's definitely been hard on all of us, and we're very much aligned in that.

You know, we decided to do this together.

We're going to get it, get through it all together, and every set of a step of the way.

You know, we've I've made sure to say to her, you know, nobody asked for this.

We didn't know what we didn't know.

So I think I can definitely agree to that.

Good for you, Good for you for like for even you know, doing this and going through it.

But now it's a great opportunity for you guys to even understand each other better by sitting down together.

Whether you want to do this and include your husband, I mean men are pretty useless, so you might just mean, well, just do it without him.

You and her sit down together and go, Okay, what are some rules we can follow for each other?

To give each other some space now that we have it, like what's going to make you comfortable, what's going to make me comfortable?

So that you're doing it together and kind of like developing a road map in concert with each other out of respect for women, you know what I mean, Like like you come at it like I want to respect you and I want you to respect me, and I don't want any weird feelings.

So let's talk about these last four years.

You don't have to like get into all of it, but like, what do we want to be different moving forward so that we all have our own space.

I know you must want your own space.

I want my own space.

I can't wait to have my bedroom back.

And then kind of talk through it with her.

Do you think she would be open to something like that.

She would.

Yeah.

A lot of it is resentment, right at least on my end, So I wouldn't want to go into it having to bring up things that I didn't like to then kind of prove a point of what I do want.

So I guess it would just be navigating that, if that makes sense.

Yeah, it's not useful to go you did this and this annoyed me.

That's not the right tone, but just you know, moving forward, Like we have a huge opportunity.

Let's make this since the last few years have been kind of stressful and we've all been on top of each other, let's use this as an opportunity to figure out the best ways to help each other.

Yeah, and what the dynamic is going to be moving It's like a perfect sort offlection point where like things are already changing and you can set new boundaries, even if you don't call them.

That, right.

I was just going to say, this reminds me of like like a pleasant boundary.

To ehet it.

Yeah, and that way she can invoke her desires and wishes, you know what I mean, And she can also say, oh, you know, from six to nine, I would like for the kids not to come over, Like, you know, use that as a starting point.

I know, you don't want the kids probably running over your house all day long.

Is there a time of day that you'd prefer to be left alone?

And then that opens the door for the times of days you want to be left alone, And like how you're going to communicate coming back and forth, or if it's just gonna be casual, or if there are certain nights that you want some privacy.

You know, all of these things can come up very organically.

I think you've handled yourself with such a plum thus far, like, way to fucking go, way to be a team player, and yeah, come over here.

You're applauding your your fortitude, your strength and your ford.

It can tell it's not it's not been easy, but I admire your strength.

You're doing great.

Thank you.

I appreciate that.

I definitely don't like to feel like on this like not so kind person, because most people I have great relationships with.

It's just a it was a difficult situation and it just kept going and going, and we would see the light at the end of the tunnel and then it was it was pushed back some more.

So the night is very very close.

I do have to say, probably you know, within the next couple weeks.

Right, perfect and perfect?

Yeah, thank goodness for that, right Yeah, And celebrate yourself for putting up with that and dealing with it and being so accommodating like that.

Is a lot.

That's a lot to take on.

Yeah, and you're going to have privacy now with your husband.

You can have sex with your husband if you're still attracted to him after all of this.

That would be a victory, you.

Know, And it's going to be like a nice new beginning for the whole family because the kids are going to benefit from this too, and they're also going to benefit from having their grandmother so close.

I remind myself of that a lot, and she, you know, has all great intentions as far as the kids, and I know it's going to be really really good for them.

And there they love it, and they've for little kids, they really understand the situation and they know, Okay.

We're going to get our bedrooms soon.

We're going to go pick out the paint colors.

Like they're on board with it too, So we're definitely all on the same page.

And I think what you said would be a great idea to start almost in fresh.

What we should have done when she originally moved in been like, okay, let's figure out how we can make this work.

Seamlessly, and but we didn't know.

We just were winging it, like.

Okay, it'll be a couple of months.

Oh, okay, a couple more months, yeah, and then here we are and.

Yeah, okay, bonus bonus that you can set up when you sit down and have this conversation is figuring out babysitting nights, like, hey, we love if like Tuesdays and Saturdays you take the kids for three hours each night and then you can have sex with your husband also or go out or do it.

But that way you have days where you know, you get some private time.

So this is even a bonus.

That way the kids are out of the house too.

Yep, exactly.

I think that's great idea too.

We'll take advantage and don't beat yourself up for like having thoughts that you're a bad person.

That's just women, that's just female guilt.

So that is us just wrestling with all of our responsibilities and feeling bad about having negative feelings.

It's totally normal to be annoyed that somebody's in your house for that long.

It doesn't matter, and especially your mother in law like that is yeah, completely normal.

You're not a bad.

Yeah, all right, I appreciate you saying that.

Thank you keep us updated.

All right, Tea again, I will thank you.

Thank you ladies so much, thanks for your time for hearing me out.

Yeah, thanks to again.

All right, Well, our next caller is dev.

Dev says dear Chelsea.

I'm twenty five and from the Midwest.

I'm currently experiencing the worst betrayal of my life.

I've been cheated on in almost every one of my relationships, and when I got to this most recent one, I felt I finally healed and was ready to trust.

We had so many what I thought were honest conversations about our past and how we could be good partners for each other.

I found out after posting the first time, my first post with him, after about five months of dating, that he had been having a full blown affair under my nose and now I can see.

Basically rubbing it into my face.

The girl DMed me, and he denied it until I was reading him the damning messages he sent to her.

In hindsight, I had a few moments of questioning.

I always chose to trust him to avoid the toxic patterns of relationships I've been in the past.

He was never going to tell me or end it, and his reaction to be finding out truly makes me believe he's not even sorry.

Logically, I know all I can do is move forward.

That the best revenge is looking, feeling and doing my best.

I have hobbies, friends, and I'm outgoing I'm a catch and this is the last thing I deserved.

For the purpose of brevity, that's all I could just stand to hear any wisdom you can offer, any laughs or lighthearted spins on the situation and the support from this community you've created.

Love dev Hi dev Hy Chelsea Hi, this is our special guest Martha Plimpton here today.

How you doing so this pattern.

Of behavior you speak of, you pick men that are cheating.

Is that the same pattern that you're referring to.

I think the pattern is that I'm attracted to narcissus because I confuse their confidence as an attractive trait, and I need to get better at discerning when it crosses a line.

Yeah, yeah, you do, because there's a lot of narcissists out there, and you need to protect your mental health and you need to protect yourself because if you have a lot to offer, you want to be able to give that to somebody who deserves it.

Have you read the book Attached?

I actually am in the process of reading it on my next stand.

Great, Well, that's going to help you a lot, because that's going to make you understand which kind of version you are anxious attached, you know, and you're going to understand why you keep going after the same kind of person.

It's called a breakup because It's Broken is a decent book about breaking up.

It sounds pretty kind of silly, but it actually has some good stuff in there about not repeating patterns.

But are you in therapy right now?

I am.

Yeah.

Well, then you really want to really make sure that you are cementing the signs of narcissism.

Write them fucking down and put them on your refrigerator and on your mirror so that when you are dating somebody, the first red flag is the last red flag.

You don't need to go through this again, because life is about patterns and behavior, and the minute you break a cycle, you're able to elevate and get onto the next version of you.

And that's what you want to do.

You don't want to keep running around with the same lose It's an unfortunate byproduct of our society that there are so many narcissists.

But you can combat that, you know what I mean, with your own education and your own self reliance, and also maybe take a break from dating anybody for a while until you have a real handle on how to identify somebody who is out for themselves versus somebody who's actually really caring and interested in a relationship.

And also, don't confuse confidence, you know, narcissism for confidence.

Does that sound right, Martha?

Do you want to add anything to this listen?

I could not agree more.

I've gone through similar situations as to what you're going through, and for a long time it was the bane of my existence.

I went with one narcissist after another a lot of time.

It's about, you know, we're attracted to something that sort of reflects back our initial wound or you know, a childhood wound, and maybe something in your family or something in a parent that you see as sort of hard to get in a way that confidence can seem like sort of and you want to attain it so you can, I don't know, communicate with that part of you, that little kid in you.

And I know I'm sounding kind of ridiculous right now, but that's kind of what I've done.

I've sort of looked back in therapy with my with my shrink and my reading and gone, Okay, what am I trying to correct from my youth or my little girlhood that is feeling so left behind?

Are so in need of approval and love from somebody who's really just about kind of themselves.

You know, I think everything Chelsea said is exactly right, and you're gonna be fine, and she's right.

You know, maybe taking a little break is okay.

I certainly am, and I'm loving it.

You know, you don't have to wait till you're fifty to take a break from dating and getting to know yourself better.

But you know, listen, I'm terrible for this because I've been through the same thing so many times.

It's ridiculous.

So know, all I can say is your way ahead of where I was at your age.

And you also have to remember that you set the tone for like who's in your life.

You set the standard.

Like a personal story for me, recently, somebody tried to set me up.

This was a few months ago.

Somebody tried to set me up.

This person was rich, famous, gorgeous, all of the like, you know, very attractive qualities.

And then I sat I had a couple of conversations with him before you know, I decided to go out with him.

I was like, let me just talk to.

This guy, because I don't really want to waste my time.

I'm in a place in my life.

That's not dissimilar from where Martha is.

Where I enjoy my own company.

I like to be alone.

I like my time alone.

I'm happy alone.

I mean, I'm not very self sufficient, so that's where I have a conflict because I need people to help me all the time.

But so this guy was all of these things.

I talked to this guy three times and I was like, definitely not.

This guy talked about himself in like, he didn't ask me any questions about myself.

He talked about himself NonStop.

Everything was about him and his schedule and what his work and when he was shooting this and when he would be available to meet based on his openings.

And I was like, oh, this is a huge red flag, Like this is not a relationship.

This is not somebody I want to be in a relationship with.

And the biggest narcissist that I ever dated.

And I've dated a couple, but I don't have a repeated pattern of dating narcissists, but one I did, like, it's very obvious when someone is out for themselves and their own best interests supersede yours, Like that is a very obvious thing to identify.

So now that you've had exposure to that, you should have no problem identifying it.

Yeah, and I already had the epiphany that I was the common denominator in this pattern, and so the calls coming from inside the house and.

Working on Matt.

But also just remember a common theme today is don't get down on yourself.

You know, these guys they're the problem.

You know, you might you know, you're looking for something that is exciting and interesting and makes you feel loved and appreciated, and they're the ones who are who are disappointing, not you.

So it's okay to not be down on yourself and to go you know what.

Sure, there are obviously, or maybe there are things about you know, your childhood or where you come from that make you seek out, you know, a thing that you want to repair from your past.

But that's not a fault, that's not a flaw.

That's a normal human thing that all human beings do.

It's a question of whether or not the person that you seek out is able to see that and respect.

It and meet you where you are.

That's what it's about.

Yeah, don't bring yourself down, don't talk yourself down, you know, talk them down.

They're the assholes and talk yourself up for you know, knowing that there's a problem you change.

If you change your behavior, you're going to change the outcome, you know what I mean.

That's as simple as it gets.

So as long as you start making better decisions and identifying patterns of behavior, which you're doing by calling in, by admitting all this, you're going to change, and you're going to and the men you're going to date are going to change as well.

I do feel like I've already had a change from feeling like so wounded in my ego to realizing that I am not my ego and the fact that someone else wasn't able to value me and everything I have to offer doesn't diminish my value great and like I have not to toot my own horn, but such a bright light that I can share and touch in so many people's lives that it's their loss fully completely hard.

Stop he is such a loser.

I love it.

I love your.

Listeners.

Focus on that, Yeah, focus more on that.

And you know what, you're in your twenties and dating it, dating secks in your twenties.

You know, maybe that's part of the common denominator that you know, dating always sucks, always suck.

Thank you so much, and it's been really good to talk to you.

Nice to meet you, Martha Chelsea.

I listened to your podcasts for a long time and I applied some of the advice.

I heard your voice in my head and I was writing in in the middle of my crashout.

Time has already kind of done its thing.

But talking to you here today, I feel rejuvenated and.

Then I'm going love it direction.

I love it you are going in the right direction.

Thanks for calling in dev Yeah, thank you, Bye bye bye.

This is where twenty five year olds are at with their mental health and their personal growth.

Like they're talking about like moving toward the light and their attachment styles.

You know, nothink their ego.

I think it's great.

Yeah.

I didn't find out about my ego until I was about thirty five years old.

So it seems people seem to be way ahead of the game.

Boys too, young boys too.

For the most part, they seem to be with it a little bit more than guys our age.

I feel like there's an expiration day.

Like everybody who's above fifty, as a white male, needs to be updated, like an iPhone updated.

They need a soft world.

Okay, we're going to be right back with Martha Plimpton to wrap up with today's episode with one last question.

Do we have one last week?

We have one last question.

Yeah, we'll be right back and we're back with Martha Plimpton.

Okay, we do love our commercial breaks.

We do.

This is another like parent behaving badly, but it's sort of a different situation.

So Ali says, Dear Chelsea, I'm a thirty year old woman with a husband and daughter, and my dad is driving me fucking nuts.

My parents had me when they were young and were never married and separated when I was too little to even remember them being together.

But my dad was always very involved in my life.

My parents co parented fantastically and had a close friendship.

He contributed greatly to paying for my college, never missed a child support payment, and was the furthest thing from a deadbeat dad.

We got along great during my childhood.

He was like the Disneyland dad type of parent.

And then in twenty to nineteen, I started therapy and I have started consuming a lot of what I call.

Therapy podcasts like yours.

Being in therapy, becoming a mom and learning about attachment styles, mindfulness and boundary setting has been a huge transformation for me.

Without sounding too patronizing, I'm now hyper aware of everyone's emotional maturity around me, and this has led to my dad driving me fucking nuts.

I think he has undiagnosed ADHD anxious attachment, and he's very paranoid of other people since my daughter was born.

He's very needy of my attention, sometimes calling me multiple times today.

He's disrespectful of boundaries and will frequently say things like I need to come over this week, or I'm running errands, but I'm going to call you soon, so make sure you pick up, or you better stop breastfeeding soon.

He calls me all.

The time, but we'll only talk about himself and has a lot of difficulty paying attention to what I'm saying, or he just wants to sit on the phone and has nothing to really say.

He's an ass to his girlfriend.

He constantly interrupts her and tells her what to do.

He owns his own Company's very bossing to everyone around him.

I've noticed a lot of patterns of misogyny where he pretty aggressively complains about the women in his life and Judge's mothers.

Every time I try to set a boundary, he pushes back.

If he's on a paranoid rant about someone who's bothering him, and I try to offer other perspectives, he gets and defensive.

It's becoming intolerable to spend time with him, and I feel myself being.

Short and more confrontational with him.

My question is, how do you cope with maintaining a positive relationship with a loved one who drives.

You up the wall?

Am I being the asshole?

After going through therapy?

Do I now just require everyone around me to also be in therapy in order for me to stand them.

Thanks for reading this very long email.

And I apologize for any typos as I am dyslexic.

I got that from him too, Ali.

I would send that letter to your father, Seriously, why not?

I mean, he's not going to fucking listen any other way.

I would send exactly that letter and go.

I had to write into a podcast because of how much time you're taking up out of my life because it's right.

There, it's right there.

Yeah, It's much more effective, in my opinion, to put something in writing, because saying it out loud it could be obfuscated, and it could be turned around, and it can be manipulated.

And if you put it there, he can reflect and look back on it.

And while it's harsh, some people really need to be treated harshly so that they could actually get their shit together.

And yeah, I would man that he has to go to therapy in order to be around you.

Yeah, yeah, Martha thoughts.

I agree.

I agree.

So I say, even just send the letter that you wrote into the podcast like verbatim.

However, he's gonna respond.

At least you've gotten it off your chest and you've said it, and then once you've said it, then you can go, Okay, this is what I was talking about in that letter.

Yeah, so I got to go, or this is what I was talking about in that letter, and I'm gonna end this conversation now, or I'm going to hang up now you know what I mean, And you don't have to say it meanly, and you don't have to get angry, you don't even have to raise your voice.

You have to go, see, this is what I was talking about.

So if you want to take note and maybe change it, that would be great.

Otherwise I got to go now.

Yeah, I love that because pointing it out in the moment of like did you hear how you just talk to your girlfriend or did you hear how you just boss that person around?

Or like what would you know about breastfeeding?

And when it's time to stop you when I.

Feel like asking questions about these people is usually a road to ruin for me.

It's not about asking questions, it's about Okay, this is what I was talking about, and this is what bothers me.

And if you want to change it, that's great.

If you don't, goodbye.

It's very cut and dried with me, particularly with men, I just feel like it's very important not.

To leave them an inch, not an inch.

Because they will take it.

They will take it and they will run and they will take that literally.

I mean it's the oldest expression in the book, because it's true.

You know, you give men an inch and they take a mile.

Laying down those boundaries and also knowing that you're right, you don't have to argue, You don't have to argue with him, you don't have to tell him you know anything other than what it is.

You just say, look, this behavior is just not okay with me, and I'm not going to get into it.

I'm not going to fight with you.

I don't have time for that.

So you can change it and that will be great and we'll have a lovely afternoon or a great conversation, or I can get off the phone and not.

Talk to you today.

Yeah, exactly, that's simple.

I think you should really be firm in your response, and you know, in your act of telling him that that's a very firm way of telling him.

And show him the letter first.

Then he has a excuse.

That's his reference point, right, And then and you don't have it's not a discussion.

We're not talking about this.

This is the way it is from now on, because I think men they want to have a discussion so they can talk you out of it, or you know, make it seem like this is all your fault or whatever.

No, don't no, bye.

And then if all else fails, give him a software upgrade.

Yeah, good luck with that.

Okay.

Well, I hope you are enjoying Martha Plimpton on Tasks, which is on HBO right HU Sunday nights, yep.

Sunday nights.

And then I think the season by the time this airs, I think we're going to be on the season finale.

Yes, and then we'll be looking forward to you on East of Eden.

I cannot fucking wait for that.

Thank you Martha for sharing your wonderful wisdom about men.

Ah.

Thank you so much.

This was really fun.

I really appreciate it.

Love it.

I have a great time in London.

Thank you, thank you, Bye bye, bye bye.

I just announced all my tour dates.

They just went on sale this week.

That's called the High and Mighty Tour.

I will be starting in February of next year, so I will be touring from February through June.

I haven't added second shows.

Yet, but we probably will be to some of these.

So go get your tickets now.

If you want good seats and you want to come see me perform, I will be on the High and Mighty Tour.

Do you want advice from Chelsea?

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