You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Girl.

Hey, welcome back to I Choose Me.

Can you believe it?

We're practically there.

The leaves are all crazy beautiful all of a sudden, We'll at least they were on the East Coast where I was this past week.

I mean here in southern California.

Winter is you know, let's just say it's mild to say the least, but the weather is feeling a little crispy, and you have that little pep in your step.

With the extra hour of sleep we've been getting, you're starting to get a lot more interested in cooking and grocery shopping.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, rewind that I want you to know that the optional word in that sentence was interested.

We can feel interested, yes, by the prep and the planning and the excitement meant to see the family, those of us that get to have our family with us.

But it can also feel a million other ways.

Maybe it feels like something you're actually not looking forward to at all.

Whatever the feels are, Thanksgiving is almost here today.

I want to talk about why this holiday, even with all its predictable chaos, is so important to me and worth all the good and the bad and the pure exhaustion that comes with it.

We need to remember that Thanksgiving is a lot more than just turkey and football and green bean casserole and someone guaranteed to fall asleep with their mouth open next to you on the couch.

There has to be more to it.

There is so much more to it.

But the truth is that, no matter what it means to me or to anyone else, we need to think about it differently.

I think we need to think of it as a necessary reset button for the soul.

We spend the entire year doing work, doing the errands and the keeping, doing all the emotional heavy lifting that we do.

What if we let this one day force us to just stop and simply be a day where we dedicate time to acknowledge and reflect on the good things we have.

Gratitude isn't something that just happens to you.

It's a choice you make every single minute, every day, all day long.

Thanksgiving gives us this giant, wonderful permission slip to make that choice without feeling weird about being a little mushy.

You know, For me, Thanksgiving is about the comfort of the routine.

Yes, like I know what it is I know what to expect, but it's also the people.

And yeah, it's usually messy.

It's a little stressful, sometimes right up until everyone is around the table.

Sometimes maybe well beyond that moment, but it's real, and yeah, it reminds me of those big family gatherings we had on our farm when I was little.

Now that the girls are older, our family is a little more spread out.

Unfortunately, Luca is not going to be able to join us this year, but it is such a sacred, precious time when all my girls are home.

And even though she's not going to be here physically this year, we will FaceTime with her a million times so it will be somewhat bearable.

It's a day on the calendar, you guys, a physical, loud, wonderful reminder of the joy of connection and the grounding of gratitude.

It's about feeling full in every single sense of the word.

You know.

Okay, so let's just get into the good stuff.

Let's do what we do here.

We're all about choices here on I choose me, So let's talk about the choices we have around this holiday.

Because Thanksgiving can feel mandatory, not optional.

Sometimes the first choice is simple, do I even go.

We feel this intense obligation to attend the gatherings, especially when your family is involved.

But I'm telling you, guys something, If the thought of a particular situation fills you with more dread than potential joy, you have the powerful choice to say no, no, thank you, seriously, even if it means saying you don't want to host this year.

Choosing yourself sometime times means protecting your piece over the pleasing of someone else.

And that is a huge badass move, and it is okay to make it.

It is okay to say no.

The second choice is all about the labor of it, all the food, Oh my gosh.

The pressure we put on ourselves to be some kind of Thanksgiving queen is insane.

If it is or has become too much, you have the choice to scale back.

I know I try to do it every year, and somehow it's still as big as last time.

But go ahead, do what I wish I would do.

Do what I'm thinking about doing this Yere, order the pie, buy the pre made mashed potatoes, delegate the workload, ask for help.

Don't let the logistics destroy your joy before the main course even hits the table.

And if you're a guest, choose to bring something substantial so that your host isn't completely burnt out by the time you arrive.

That is a total act of collective self care.

Very nice of you.

And the third, maybe the trickiest choice, is the conversations.

Very often every family has that one relative, right, the one who brings up the awkward question about money or politics, or your love life, or your job or the way you look.

Even you have the choice, you have the power to change the subject.

You can get up, you can walk away, or you can simply say, you know what, I'm gonna choose peace today.

So why don't we talk about how amazing this stuffing is.

You do not have to defend and your life choices over a bowl of lumpy gravy.

Choose the topics that nourish your soul, not the ones that drain it.

Okay, So here are three quick practical tips on how to build your own peaceful holiday plan so you can truly choose yourself with Thanksgiving.

My first idea for a peaceful holiday is to create a peace plan.

It sounds like it would be more time involved to make a plan, but I promise you will save time and heartache if you spend just a little time pre planning in advance.

So before you walk into the gathering, pre plan a short, intentional escape.

It could be five minutes sitting in your car listening to your favorite song.

It could be ten minutes watering the host's plants or playing with their dog outside.

Or another one is to yeah, just step out onto the porch and breathe in the cold air.

Pre Plan your peace and don't feel guilty about taking it.

It recharges you.

It recharges your battery, so you can actually be present and not resentful or uncomfortable.

You get to be in the moment and give your children the option to do the same.

Honestly, because family gatherings can be just as overwhelming for our kids as they are for us.

So if your children know that they have an escape, they can go upstairs, maybe with a book or a puzzle that you pack for them.

They can run outside for ten minutes.

Whatever plan you make with your kids, you'd be amazed what having that little option could mean for your kids.

Sanity this Thanksgiving.

My second tip in our peaceful holiday plan might sound a little silly, but choose what you want to wear wisely, you know what I mean.

As far as I'm concerned, this holiday season needs to be about comfort.

Forget the restrictive, itchy clothes that make you miserable but make other people think a certain way about you.

Forget about that.

Choose an outfit that allows you to fully enjoy the day, one that lets you move and breathe and yes eat that third helping of stuffing.

Seriously, when you're comfortable, you are relaxed, and when you are relaxed, you are more patient with everyone else.

So dress for yourself.

This is the whole reason that I've created my brand for Comfort.

You can check out of my fun videos on Instagram.

It's all about feeling good and looking good and being able to button up that button after the big meal.

So check that out.

But my final tip is to practice gratitude grounding during a moment of chaos, when the dog poops under the table, or the baby's crying, when the cast rules burning, just stop after you take the castle roll out.

Just take a minute, close your eyes for three seconds even, and name three things you are grateful for in that moment.

The smell of the sage, the sound of the laughter in the other room, the roof over your head.

This small moment of grounding immediately reframes your mind from stress to appreciation.

And you might need a little more time, a little more than three seconds, So go ahead, take that walk around the block a breathing exercise.

Holidays make everyone stressed out.

You're not alone, so don't feel bad about it either way, because you need something to break the cycle, and it will allow you to concentrate on thankfulness, which is what this day is all about.

Thanksgiving is a beautiful, messy gift.

Don't wait for permission to be grateful or to rest.

Don't wait for someone else to grant you a peaceful day.

Choose your peace, choose your joy, choose your gratitude.

It's always okay to choose yourself, even on a holiday.

So happy Thanksgiving from everyone here at I choose me.

We will see you next week.