You're listening to the Loving BDSM podcast episode four sixty three.

Kayla Lords here with the one, the only, the slightly less grumpy than you were twenty minutes ago, John Brown's time.

Yeah.

Which okay.

We're time travelers.

Mhmm.

If you listen to the Monday episode, you will hear me talking about that he is grumpy.

We recorded that first.

And it is, hopefully, in this, episode that we talk a little bit about why he's grumpy, justifiably so.

I'm not I let me reiterate, which for y'all is the first time, and I'll be reiterating on Monday.

Time travel is so weird.

I do not blame you for being grumpy, and I'm not gonna try and get you out of the grumpiness.

Thank you.

Fully justified.

K.

But you know why?

You wanna know I'm not?

One is justified.

Two, you haven't pointed that grumpiness at me, and I appreciate that.

That's true.

I do appreciate that.

Mhmm.

Mhmm.

Mhmm.

Anyway, we will actually probably talk about that in this episode, but that's not really what this episode is.

This episode is, more than what I thought it was gonna be, but still not what we usually do.

So first of all, we're gonna do, a couple of new things while also just turning this into a bonus, section episode.

So if you never stick around for the bonus section, that's not your jam, feel free.

Bounce now.

Have a good, weekend.

We hope to catch you next week.

Okay.

For everybody else, yeah, we we're gonna just we're gonna it's gonna be chatty and chaotic, but without a purpose.

It's always chatty and chaotic, but usually with a purpose.

True.

True.

Just not this time.

Mhmm.

Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast.

If this is your first time listening, glad to have you.

And, yes, it's always like this.

If you're back for another week, welcome back.

Loving BDSM is produced every Monday and Friday for your kinky pleasure and education, and show notes are found at lovingbdsm.net.

Come back often and follow the show on FetLife at loving BDSM PC on Instagram and technically threads at that handle I will forever fucking hate, which is loving d s and the number one.

So it's at loving d s one.

On blue sky at lovingbdsm.

Blah blah blah.

Or on YouTube at youtube.com/lovingbdsm where you can watch us live stream the podcast every Wednesday.

All links are in the show notes.

A big thanks as always to our kinky patrons over on Patreon, including our newest peeps.

We are fucking grateful for every fucking one of y'all.

We would not have made it this far and this long in the podcast without our Patreon community.

We hope we give back as much as we receive for sure.

If you would like to be, what we call the proud crooks over, on Patreon with us, you can do that.

You can join for as little as $2 a month and you get access to our Discord server.

That is the only way to get access to our Discord server.

You can get access to extra content.

Game night, we're doing that this month.

Movie night, we're doing that next month.

All kinds of fun stuff.

And when you do, you'll be helping us out, letting us keep being weirdos on the Internet, and hopefully making kinky friends in our very chill fucking kinky community.

I mean, it's chill in the fact that it's very relaxed.

It is.

When people get into heated debates, they really get into heated debates though.

That's true.

But in a very adult way.

So it's kinda nice.

Everybody, everybody plays well together.

I like the thing it's our nice little quiet corner of the internet.

Yeah.

Definitely my vibe for sure.

Anyway, if I haven't scared you off and that sounds like you're something you might be interested in, it's patreon.com/kaylalords.

That's patreon.com/kaylalords or the link is in the show notes.

Okay.

Before we get into, you know, the the stuff we're gonna do, I'm so happy to be able to announce because I didn't know if I was going to be able to.

We will be streaming this coming Friday night.

I wrote the date down.

Hold on.

I looked at a calendar and everything, y'all.

Friday, November 21 at 09:30PM for our monthly virtual munch Friday night livestream.

Mhmm.

We are more chaotic.

It's just who we are.

But also we'll answer your questions, kinky q and a during that live stream.

So, yeah, that's coming.

Hope y'all can make it.

If your your schedule does not allow for the Friday night live streams, these pure bonus section episodes are a slightly milder form, I think.

Mhmm.

We some we don't get, like, crazy kinky on the Friday night ones.

It's just even more relaxed.

And even more chaotic.

I think I just, like, embraced the chaos more for Friday night.

I have I'm trying to just embrace the chaos for the Wednesdays, but I'm trying to actually impart some amount of knowledge to those who might be seeking it so I don't feel good about being too chaotic on a Wednesday.

But at some point I think you just have to embrace it.

I don't know.

I don't know.

So let's start with, why we didn't think we would be here, but here we are.

Mhmm.

And then we'll get into the the only structured thing I have that we've never done before.

And then it'll just be chatty, and it'll just be bonus section.

Hold on.

I can't sit in my chair correctly.

Okay.

There we go.

I was just somehow sliding out.

I don't know how.

It happens.

So YouTube must have updated an algorithm, fired actual people, and turned some AI on.

I don't know.

But out of nowhere, over the course of about two or three weeks, we started getting channel strikes.

First, stuff we should not have.

One was on principle we should not have.

But, okay, technically, I knew that that broke the rule.

Even though I did completely submit an appeal anyway.

But that first channel strike was like, oh, let me tap your hand.

Naughty.

And I don't like to be naughty.

I mean Well Anyway, I don't like to be perceived as somebody who broke a rule.

That's what I don't like.

But then a couple weeks later, three weeks later, I don't know.

How does time work?

They we got another strike for a thing that was definitely not breaking the rules.

They said when we linked to our own site, we linked to a site with sexual content, pornography, and nudity.

And I was like, no.

The hell we didn't.

I know that site.

That's my site.

Right.

If I linked to other sites that I have, maybe, but not that site.

So I did put in the appeal, but they had said since we'd had two YouTube strike channel strikes so close to another, we were grounded for a week.

We could not post to the community tab.

We could not upload a video.

We could not live stream.

Now here's the thing I hate.

Just let me post to the community tab.

Let me tell the people that we're not gonna be there for a week.

You can't even do that.

So I've submitted an appeal for that one knowing I was right on that one, but they take forever on appeals.

And then yesterday, day before recording Tuesday, I happened to go into the the dashboard, YouTube Studio, and the second strike was off, was gone.

And we were just back to warning, and I went, what?

So they let us out of the corner.

I would say nobody puts baby girl in the corner, but JB puts baby girl in the corner.

But she does baby girl does not give JB a reason to put her in the corner.

Thank you for that.

Again.

Not on purpose.

That's for damn sure.

So, yeah, what we had decided to do, we were like, oh, shit.

We're not gonna be able to do our Wednesday livestream.

We're like, oh, we'll record an audio podcast and it'll just be a giant bonus section because that's, you know, that way we're still showing up, but, you know, we're not YouTube won't be missing, like, a topic that might be of interest.

And I won't be trying to upload an hour and a half long video and asking my poor little Mac to, like, render that video and export that file.

So we're doing what we were gonna do for audio only.

We're doing it for the, livestream YouTube side as well.

But as that was happening, while I was in the back end of YouTube finding out that we were no longer in the corner Mhmm.

So when I started seeing that that there were comments on the YouTube video that also went along with an email that I had received, I was like, oh, yay.

Nobody's yelling at me.

I really appreciate that.

And there had been some really thoughtful comments Okay.

From both last week's main episode, on soft media.

Some and even even though I had to upload the YouTube video late because we were in the corner, some comp a good helpful comments on our q and a episode for this week.

The one about the The collar.

Yeah.

I know you got confused.

You're like, we just recorded one of those.

Yes.

That's next week's.

So we're gonna do a thing we've never done and go over some of these comments because one, they're like eye opening and educational.

Two, that that commentary might help somebody else.

Mhmm.

So that's what we're gonna do.

And then we'll get into our chatty bullshit.

Okay.

Yay.

So And that's that for that.

You're copying me.

Or I said that earlier.

Yeah.

Okay.

And you smiled at me when I did.

And there we go.

Now we're twinsies.

Full circle.

We're something.

Okay.

So let's start with I have to look at my screens.

Okay.

Let's start with OnSoft BDS app.

Thank you everybody who, sent something and commented and not yelling at me because you disagree with me.

The the thing that made me go, I really wanna read this.

I want to read what was written, in a an episode was the first email I got.

And the moment I started reading, I went, oh my god.

I think I've actually heard of this, but not in this kind of detail.

And this is on soft BDSM.

Okay.

And I'm not gonna say the person's name.

Let them keep their anonymity, but you know who you are once I start reading.

It says, I just listened to this week's episode, and I felt like the conversation and a potential explanation might benefit from what I've seen as a dominant woman.

The soft dom label has been around for quite a while within the femdom community.

It's because so many people, mostly submissive men, take their images of DS and femdom from porn.

Dominant women in porn are almost always depicted as harsh, cruel, shouty bitches that have no regard for the submissive man.

The femdom world is full of references to men as worthless pigs, worms, etc.

I don't think this exists in the same way in male domfemsub material.

They I think you would be right.

I don't think it exists in quite the same way either.

So submissive men come into the community with this image of the dominant person as they've seen in porn and social media.

They think that BDSM and DS are all about harsh degradation and a disregard for any desires of the submissive man.

Then they hear that people have actual relationships and they themselves want a relationship that involves actual love and respect, but they've never seen that before.

And it's incongruous, I can speak, with the image they have of BDSM.

So the femdom community created this label of soft dom to describe what is really just considered lifestyle d s.

The differentiator, I can speak, isn't so much about hard versus soft.

It's about porn versus real life.

Take a search in the femdom spaces and you'll see tons of conversations about soft doms, also sometimes labeled gentle femdom, another term that male dom relationships don't use.

Yeah.

No.

I've I've not seen that term at all.

There are even multiple FetLife groups and subreddits dedicated to gentle femdom and soft doms.

I don't think these exist outside of femdom.

It's a term that has no generally accepted definition.

And when I've asked submissive men who use the term what they mean, it's always just a description of a realistic day to day DS relationship.

They say things like, I still want affection or I want someone who isn't mean all the time.

Bless their hearts.

I've also heard, I don't want severe pain.

And when I've asked for more information, they've described having reasonable limits and being able to have boundaries.

Again, this started because of femdom porn, femdom porn and how most submissive men get their information about BDSM.

I'm actually a bit surprised that the terminology is spreading over into the rest of the community.

I can see how it would be very confusing in the context of a male dom and or femsub or them sub relationship.

Hope this adds some perspective and context for where the soft term is coming from.

Thanks for the excellent discussion on the podcast.

Thank you for your amazing one.

The moment I'm reading this, I'm like, I have heard and when I say I've heard nothing in-depth, I'm not in femdom spaces.

There's no reason for me to be in femdom spaces.

But I was like, I feel like, yes.

This I recognize this from somewhere.

Okay.

And I kind of wish I'd had this insight when we did do the soft dom versus hard dom episode ages ago, but it does make sense.

And I do like the fact that in this community, and again, no community is a monolith, so there'll be some people who do view this differently even in FemDome spaces.

Porn versus real life, you know?

Yeah.

I can see why you have to make that distinction.

Yeah.

And definitely, I don't know.

Maybe it's more so with FemDome because of I mean, even pop culture references to dominatrix is I mean, some people yeah.

That's that is what they're like, but that's not all of Yeah.

Not all of it.

That's not all of it.

And it is a very, like, harsh, degradation filled kind of, like, way of being.

So that makes that all makes sense to me.

And I think if I had, had even an an acknowledgment in my head of this, maybe I would have gone to some FemDome spaces and seen Mhmm.

Something more helpful.

So thank you for that.

So that's the that's the one that started me going, I want to share these things online with others.

Let's see.

Okay.

Nope.

Wrong one.

This one.

Okay.

So I'm gonna try and go in chronological order here.

Okay.

Somebody commented, I'm very happy to see that there are people who identify as quote soft BDSM.

People like myself who like restraints and bondage but in a very romantic, sweet, relaxing way without any humiliation, pain, or psychological domination might need this kind of representation in BDSM.

Sadomasochism playing with limits and degradation.

There are people who dislike it but still might enjoy some kind of power exchange.

I often feel alone with my preferences and I'm afraid of being misunderstood.

Finding books or other erotic content about romantic bondage is so hard because everyone seems to prefer it harder.

So I hope that we will see more soft BDSM representation in the future.

What I would love to see is and I know I'm pipe dreams here.

I'd like to see a world in which there is no single type of play that's supposed to be the face of BDSM.

Yeah.

I I get, like, how and why it would happen, but, you know, yes.

I I somebody either new to kink or just only in specific spaces, that is a lot of what you're gonna see because it's the trope.

It's the cliche.

Even if it is true for some people, it's the stereotype.

Right.

It's it's that's a little bit of why this podcast exists because I was like, yeah.

Yeah.

Well, let's talk about reality.

Let's talk about a different view of BDSM that is not just that.

So my dream would be, well, BDSM can really be the umbrella term it needs to be.

Mhmm.

But I get where somebody, you know, would appreciate an identifier to know that they're not in a very specific realm of BDSM.

Yeah.

Makes sense.

I know I'm going a little bit like a freight train.

You are.

Just trying to, like, slow down and go, what are your thoughts?

I mean, you are in control around here, so I do feel like you would you would tell me.

Okay.

Somebody else says Okay.

I imagine this term is very useful for people who do not enjoy impact play slash degradation and who wants to be able to communicate this quickly when looking for play partners?

I think that's fair enough.

I think the issue with this comes from the intention of using the term.

If the intention is to communicate you enjoy the controlling aspects of BDSM without the impact, degradation, forcefulness of it, all good.

But if you're using it to separate yourself from the wider BDSM community because you have hang ups about the more degrading forceful pain related BDSM, then that's no good.

Yeah.

I think that's fair.

I do think that's fair.

I do.

I I still okay.

This is because I am this kind of person.

I would rather us be able us as the generalist, be able to be specific and say I want power exchange and BDSM without and then list the things without instead of the shorthand of soft BDSM.

Simply because there's so much room for misinterpretation of a single term like that when somebody has a very specific meaning for it.

I go back to what I said in the episode.

If the commute the at large community comes up with mostly understood easily accessible definition of what soft BDSM is that can be then disseminated and people can go, okay.

That's what's then I might personally not like the term, but I can get behind that because then there's a definition behind this very fuzzy term.

Right now there's no clear definition.

I think the one thing I've seen is I don't want degradation, I don't want pain.

Right.

But most of the time I just want people to be able to go, hey, I want BDSM without pain and degradation.

Right?

Right.

Without impact.

Mhmm.

I mean, I that's what I would hope.

That that's kind of, you know, what the, the checklist is for too.

Right.

Exactly.

When you when you sit down with somebody, you you go through the checklist.

Well, I like this, but I don't want that.

Agreed.

Agreed.

And then, this person, gave a perspective I had not heard, and I I liked it too.

It's completely different from the others.

It's the last one though.

We don't have any definitive evidence for this but we're pretty sure the popularization of hard slash soft kink dom BDSM terminology comes from fandom culture, specifically erotic role play communities on Twitter and Tumblr in the late twenty tens to early twenty twenties.

We've seen a lot of, erotic role play account intro posts talking about, quote, hard kinks, coming up in fandom related Twitter searches over the years.

I could see where I can see where disparate groups could come up with the same words and terms Mhmm.

But from different completely different angles.

True.

Yeah.

Mhmm.

I mean, I have no experience in that side of the Internet.

Mhmm.

So, you know, can't judge how widespread or common it might be.

Correct.

But it would not be unusual to me for this group, this community to come up with a term, and this community to come up with a term.

And the the, terms overlap or are about the same.

Because what that tells me, even though I hate to have to, like, concede this point because I don't really love the term Mhmm.

Because it's too imprecise.

What that tells me though is there needs to be some kind of term shorthand for this type of BDSM versus that type of BDSM.

You know?

And I don't mean that there needs to be for, like, the community, but, like, maybe as an entry point.

You know?

Because how many people go, I can't do BDS.

We've seen it.

I can't do BDSM because I don't want the whips and the chains and then this and that.

I'm over here going, I don't want it either.

So I don't want either.

But there's no there's no from the outside looking in way to come in without you have you better happen to come across somebody online or go do a thorough search Yeah.

And have an idea of what you're even looking for or stumble across somebody.

Yeah.

So I will concede that point that maybe there does need to be a term.

I don't I don't I don't deny that there needs to be something.

There needs to be a way to talk about it Yeah.

Even if it's not a term.

Maybe it's not a term.

There just needs to be a way.

Yeah.

But, you know, the Internet and specifically social media is where nuance goes to die.

So something like a conversation about wanting the power elements and the the control elements mixed with, sensual the only word I can come up with even though I hate it is softer side of kink instead of the, the stereotype of the the degradation and the pain and the this and the that.

You know?

I want a world where we can just say that.

We don't live in that world.

So I know.

So those were, some of the comments that we got.

I did see somebody.

They, is it called retweeting or just reposting or quote posting?

What it's blue sky.

It's not Twitter.

Mhmm.

So I'm not going back to that hellscape.

Mhmm.

Who, reposted, quote posted, a thing I've a link I shared to the soft BDSM episode last week, and they said that, they refer to themselves as a highly sensitive person, meaning that touch, certain types of sensation on their skin can be very painful.

That they would love to know that there's a thing like air quote soft BDSM where it's not about intense stimulation.

Mhmm.

And see, but I you know, for them for that specific case, that makes sense.

Sure.

There needs to be a way to let somebody know that not everything will be not everything has to be intense.

But if I'm talking in the the broader soft BDSM, intense Mhmm.

Is not just pain.

Most people think pain and intense.

Oh, I don't want anything intense.

It's like, yeah.

But, even a gentle, orgasm, forced orgasms become intense at a certain point.

Right.

Yep.

Or or even consistent, like, how how long can your partner go down on you and and make you orgasm?

At what point do you stop it when it becomes air quote intent?

Like, the Mhmm.

The terms are just imprecise.

Yeah.

From that person's very specific viewpoint, I could see that.

Mhmm.

That that makes sense that they need a term to know what they you know, how to explain it.

But I think it's because we just want things to be an easy explanation, and I'm here to be the killjoy that tells you, actually, you need more than two words to describe what you're actually looking for.

Right.

Yeah.

I know that's not really a popular take, but whatever.

I've been a word girl my whole fucking life, and I just think you need I'm not known for brevity and and being concise.

You know?

Just saying.

And and you need more than two words.

That's what I'm saying.

Okay.

And then the next one Mhmm.

Just because I found this helpful.

At least one comment was super helpful to me.

Our most recent q and a episode is, a medical professional who can't wear their collar.

Mhmm.

They're looking for other ideas.

But, you know, with that framing of in the in the health care field where there are all kinds of reasons where you could not wear a collar, which I would imagine probably in some ways can relate in law enforcement and, even military kind of things or might be specific things because of requirements and policies and safety that you can't wear.

So people were very helpful with ideas.

One was in our Discord.

K.

In our Discord, we do have a channel for, episode discussion.

Great.

And so let me find it.

Again, I will, not say names so everybody can keep their anonymity.

They say, I wore a collar, air quote that, for fourteen years of my military career, it was a ring on the opposite hand to my wedding ring.

No one blinked.

I had silicone stand ins for when safety was an issue.

And when deployed, I had a third dog tag made that read property of and then their owner's name, and they wore that.

I thought that was so cool.

I love how great kinky people are.

Y'all are talking to creative.

Oh, I just hit my phone against the mic.

That's not a problem.

Okay.

And then here are some, others that we got.

If metal isn't a problem, a key ring.

At the time, it was one of those nice soft leather ones that he presumably, he is their dom Mhmm.

Had carried around for a little while.

And then if metal is a problem, just take the metal ring off.

They said I liked it because I was feeling if I was feeling stressed, I could reach into my pocket and play with it or hold it.

It was like a key ring.

That is and then the connection of your Dom has maybe carried it around or maybe it's meaning you've taken it off of there.

I like that.

I really like that.

One person said they wear a bracelet.

One person said they wear earrings when they go out to the construction site.

And, another person.

Hi.

I know who I see you all the time.

Hello.

Hello.

I have worn some dainty ear cuffs and also some dainty earrings that are a heart shaped lock.

So I was reading more on something else.

Something came up in my feed.

Y'all know once you Google search something, it's now your algorithm just, like, starts spitting it out.

It's it's there.

And so I, came across something.

And it might have even been a post by somebody.

I can't remember.

But they were talking about how, necklaces have to be able to break away Mhmm.

You know, in in certain, fields.

And then they were talking about no dangling bits, like even earrings in some cases cannot dangle.

And I was like, okay.

Perfect.

And I and I can understand that especially someone working in an ER.

Oh, yeah.

Okay?

Because you you never know.

Mhmm.

You know, I I I was, one time in the ER, I've gone there with somebody, and, they brought in some guy from a motorcycle accident, which was he was involved in a chase.

Mhmm.

And, it man, it it was crazy.

He was he was screaming and yelling, and there were several cops with them and, you know Oh, yeah.

He he was thrashing and all over the place.

And, yeah.

It was just a hot mess.

So I kind of understand that.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

And, again, every like we said in in that episode, every field and every space in the medical sphere is gonna have its own independent rules based on the needs of that space.

Right.

So always read the policy first.

But I, you know, I think what I appreciate about those comments was, you know, it was somebody from the military who could relate to needing something that was not their obvious color.

Somebody who works in construction where, no, you cannot have dangling bits in construction.

You don't want anything to get caught on anything.

Mhmm.

So but yeah.

I really liked those additional, thoughts.

Tayshoes and Lutgers.

So I think I need to research earrings for my shop.

You definitely do.

You definitely do.

I am completely down for, I'm gonna air quote it now, collars, air quote collars being whatever, is comfortable, safe, and appropriate for Correct.

That a person is willing and wants to wear Mhmm.

That they can be meeting into.

You know?

It is deeply, deeply personal.

So but yeah.

So yeah.

Those were the comments that we got.

I, I, really appreciate that.

That was was it was nice to see the other parts of the Internet do not typically show us thoughtful Yeah.

Comments.

Insightful.

Yeah.

Right.

From other people who've got their their experience and their viewpoint.

And I like that when we get comments, sometimes it's, you know, somebody who chanced across us and I wish they just kept their mouth shut and kept it pushing.

But, you know, most of the time when we get comments, it's well thought out as people go, let me share my experience.

I freaking love that.

It's helpful.

And what I really like is when I, you know, get a comment where I go, holy shit.

I never thought about that.

Like that, I'm like, thank you for expanding my mind for me.

Because there are many things I think about, and I just don't bring up because I've decided personally it's not relevant, or I've said it 85 times, or whatever.

But man, to, like, get a thing where I'm like, oh, I never thought of that.

I can file that away now for future use.

Mhmm.

Awkwardish pandas is in live chat.

I have a regular day collar, but I also have an elastic bracelet with thin clay beads that spell out daddy's baby girl in Morse code.

Oh, wow.

Now that is brilliant.

That's brilliant.

Mhmm.

Mhmm.

Yep.

Special code to say what you know it says, but most people would never clock.

I fucking love that shit.

I'm telling you kinky people are creative people, you know.

Okay.

So that is the only topic related things.

Okay.

I guess now we're just gonna freaking, chill.

Silent in live chat.

It says, my favorite is the quote.

Why is this on my feed?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't I don't engage with these comp comments when we get them.

Usually, over in the kinkery, I've not experienced anything loving BDSM.

Other than YouTube, I have gotten a couple tons of YouTube.

But for the kinkery and especially on Instagram, every once in a while, a reel or even a post will just kinda, like it'll just take off and then people across the spectrum of the Internet are commenting, why is this on my feet?

Why am I seeing this?

What is this?

And I think to myself, because you keep fucking commenting, why is this on my feet?

Right.

But thankfully thankfully, the kink community will always come through.

There's always at least a couple people who go, because you keep commenting on this shit.

If you don't wanna see it, shut up and keep scrolling.

Go away.

Go away.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I love you so much.

Yep.

I tried to be a good customer service person.

So I don't I don't usually say shit like that.

But so but yeah.

So, please, if unless you're gonna say something else, I was gonna say, please tell everybody why you were justifiably grumpy today.

Okay.

Because in both podcast intros, I was like, JB is so fucking grumpy for good reason.

So Well, you know, Kayla told you earlier about the YouTube.

Oh, which did make me grumpy for sure.

And, you know, it was kind of last minute that we were actually gonna sit down and do this.

So I sat down and started doing my my thing.

I'm pulling out the lights.

I, you know, fired up the mixing board and and powered on the computer.

Computer comes up and it was explaining to me why it could not be updated to Windows 11.

And it went into, setting up the new updates.

Then it asked me to buy Microsoft three sixty five, and it asked me to get into OneDrive and blah blah blah blah down the line.

Finally got through and nothing would run on the computer.

And I started digging the, you know, we had a problem a little while back with the hard drive being full.

And I went through and I I cleaned it and, you know, got as much down to to keep it working.

The the latest the latest updates have have refilled the hard drive.

I went through and did a cleanup of all temp files and compressed the drive and blahdy blah blah blah and, got it running so we can function here today.

But, yeah, it did not have me in the best mood.

No.

It didn't.

Mm-mm.

I still contend we need some sort of flag system, like a green flag that you wave is like, yes.

I'm I'm taking I'm accepting communication at this time.

Yellow flag proceed with caution.

But I want then a a separate flag.

I don't know what color it would be or what it would look like look like, where you're like, I am busy and also pissed off about it.

Do not do not approach.

Yeah.

Thankfully thankfully, I did somehow I don't know, did I catch the vibe or was I just like, I don't think I have anything actually meaningful to say, so I'll wait till he's done.

I don't know what it was.

Some sixth sense told me, shut your fucking mouth.

Yeah.

Leave him the fuck alone.

Because when I did finally gently reach out, I guess I did it in just the right way at just the right time where you were clearly annoyed, but not at me.

Right.

Right.

Right.

Yep.

So yeah.

Now we, we we definitely need to, look into getting a new hard drive Yeah.

In the computer.

No if, ands, or buts about it.

So I'm gonna have to see what we need to do about that.

Mhmm.

You know, I was hoping to put it off as long as I could, but, not long enough for my my book.

But you know?

So then I need you to get back out there and make a shit ton more toys.

We got a Black Friday sale coming.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, I I even looked into, if it's possible to, like, install the Microsoft browser, you know, Edge.

Mhmm.

And, I do find that fascinating.

They call their browser Edge.

I know.

That's not the kind of edging that I want in my life, but sure.

No.

No.

No.

And, it is possible to remove it.

Would have to download, third party apps to do it.

Microsoft doesn't want you to do it.

Hell no.

They're not gonna make it easy on you.

And, apparently, it is so integrated into the system Mhmm.

That you could have some issues Of course.

After.

Yeah.

Of course.

Right?

So yeah.

I mean, it does feel a little bit like the universe was like, y'all are not recording this week, and we went watch us.

I I'm gonna tease JB just a little bit.

Uh-oh.

So we have not decided what we're doing for next week for the stream.

And and that's a conversation we were supposed to have before the stream, but then he had, like Technical issues.

And righteous indignation as he should.

So we haven't had the conversation yet.

But when we what brought up the conversation was when JB had a grumpy moment and was like, well, I was talking about streaming.

He was, well, you know, next week is a holiday week.

I I went, who the fuck are you talking to?

It was like, we we have previously nine of these where we have always streamed the day before Thanksgiving.

If you wanna not do that, that's cool.

I'm willing to have that conversation.

That's not a problem.

I was like, why are you mad at me?

Like, I'm making you work.

It's not it's not like I'm I'm stressed or anything heading into Black Friday, you know, and don't have a thing on my mind to worry about.

And here's the thing.

Well, I think what has slowly happened, one, we do not focus on sex toys like we used to.

Yeah.

I think you got burnt out and I Oh, I definitely got burnt out on that.

I, if I have the, pathological demand avoidance slash pervasive demand for autonomy, PDA for anybody who knows.

If I have that, it is coming out in review product reviews because I, get very I have over the years, I've gotten very twitchy on feeling an obligation to use a product and then tell you what I think.

I used to fucking love it.

I used to be like, hell yeah.

Let's try a new sensation.

Can we kink this up?

This will be great.

And these days, I'm just like, I don't wanna be obligated to a company who don't give a fuck about me Yeah.

To to try this when I'm not feeling.

I think a part of that was all these years prior to finally getting, you know, HRT and all that, of having such low desire for anything sexual that then to be like, oh, but here, go go try that vibrator.

Yeah.

You don't give a fuck.

You're not in the the mood for it, but go try it.

I just I I think what what did it for me was the fleshlight fiasco.

You had so many fleshlights.

My god.

Was it one of those I don't want anything on my dick right now?

Just leave my dick alone.

Just touch me anywhere else but there.

It was a it it was a paid It was.

Toy review.

Not review, like, we love this, but, like, review in what does it feel like?

How what is it to use?

Like, one of those in informative things we got paid as freelance writers, and JB is my test dick.

Like, I used to put that dick out for hire.

Like Right.

Fine.

And then he you received what was a box of thirteen, sixteen?

Fleshlights out there.

There there was there was eight in the next box, and then there was another box after that.

And I don't remember what was in that, but it was a fucking shitload of flashlights.

And between those and then the ones you already owned, you then had duplicate flashlights.

Yeah.

Yeah.

There were duplicates in there.

Oh my god.

I know.

Hey.

The you know what?

I'll say this.

That job, which was oh my god.

I got to a point I was so tired of lube.

I was testing lubes all the time.

I was like Yeah.

Just leave me the fuck alone.

Panty vibrators?

I found ones I like, like, legitimately like, but by the end of it, you're like, get get everything away from my clit.

Just get everything away from my clit.

But that job came in a time where we were like, we will do almost anything for money.

We have bills to pay.

And so I'm glad you did it.

Mhmm.

But I also respect the fact that you're like, I don't no.

I'm not I'm not testing a a sex toy for anybody.

I I get it.

And can you you wanna know something?

Out of all over the years, out of all the toys that that we have tested and, you know, to play with so many so many toys, there's probably about four or five at this point That you're like that I that I go back to regularly.

I know.

Because what I found over the years is I could like something in the moment.

I could find I it could do its job.

It could, I could I could find I could genuinely experience good things and find good things to say and see what kind of people might, like, really enjoy this and what kind of people might not really enjoy this.

But it would not there were toys that in the moment, I'm like, yeah.

This worked.

This was good.

I could see good things for us, and then I would never pick it up again.

Then there are some choice I really love, but I'm like, man, it takes a lot of work to use this.

I really love it.

But I'm basically, by the time I am flat in a bed in the dark, I'm tired, and now I'm lazy, and I'm not working that hard.

I just thought.

I just thought.

Mhmm.

So silent asks, how did you not just go totally numb?

You do have to space these things out.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But there was a time for for at least a couple of weeks.

I think we were on deadline because he would test it, and he would record the, video review, and then I would write the article.

So I would be interviewing him about his fleshlight.

Poor thing.

He would have used the fleshlight, and he'd be like, I gotta go fucking make pals.

I got work to do.

He'd be in the shed, the shop in the backyard, and I'd be standing there with a notepad going, okay.

So here's the questions I have to answer about this.

Yeah.

That's why Yeah.

I was interviewing him.

Yeah.

And I wanna say there was a stretch where we were on deadline where I think you were testing a new one every day.

Yeah.

Every day.

Every day.

And I was like, at a at one point I finally went, can you even tell the difference between these things that they bought?

Nope.

And yet you like Fleshlight.

Yeah.

Like you like the the one you did.

Well, I know.

I know.

I know.

It's a little bit I can't look at them anymore.

It's a little bit like you ate a food you loved, but then that food gave you food poisoning, and now you can never eat it again.

Again.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I get it.

I get it.

I get it.

Yeah.

I would be more inclined these days to try kink toys that we don't make.

I'm not trying like I don't I'm fine with anybody who goes to somebody who would be a competitor of us and buys their wooden paddle.

I wanna try somebody else's wooden paddle.

But I'll try a leather paddle, and I'll try this paddle, and I'll try but I we are not at a stage where we are being sought out nor are we seeking out review products.

I'd rather buy it myself.

Mhmm.

But that's not a priority purchase these days even though it would be a business experience.

I don't really wanna send our account the receipts from, like, the stock room.

I really don't.

I really don't.

Actually, I really feel like if we did it, I would do it from small I would do it from small businesses.

Yeah.

The stock room and all those, they don't they don't need hype from us anymore.

We're affiliates of Stockroom.

I found some great things from Stockroom.

But if I were to get back in the the review game Mhmm.

It would be from but I I don't want somebody to send me something and go review it if you want.

That's obligation.

I don't want that.

I wanna go find a product, try it, go, hell, yeah.

We fucking love this shit, and then talk about it.

Yeah.

Because we wanted to, not because someone asked us to.

And that's a me thing, y'all.

I'd Yeah.

So So yeah.

That's not something we've, done for a while.

Mm-mm.

You know?

And, yeah.

It just kinda that kinda that just that did me in.

Yeah.

I I get it.

I completely get it.

Do you know what we still have?

Y'all, this is so sad.

Do you know what we still have?

That we bought with our own fucking money, and we have never tried it.

It's still in the plastic, still in the box.

The electrostim, I want to get, cock rings.

You're right.

That we've never tried.

We've never tried those.

You're right.

You're right.

And you've tried so like, just stuff that you have that you love that you've bought for yourself.

You've put so many things on your cock, and you've not done that.

I think you forgot the existence.

I did.

I forget the existence until I'm rummaging around in the closet.

In the closet.

I wanna say we have a few toys left over that were just sent to us that never went anywhere that have never been opened.

And I don't know.

Do we wanna try them?

Do we wanna I keep I think our original plan was to do a giveaway.

And maybe that's what we'll do at some point, is do a giveaway.

But, yeah, we really do need to clean up that closet.

Yes.

Yes.

But yeah.

I, it's weird now because for years, it was our favorite sex toys of the year.

That was what the whole we would do it right before Black Friday so we could tell folks what the sales were if they wanted any of these things.

Yeah.

And we don't do that anymore.

No.

Mm-mm.

I also could see if you decide you don't want an episode next week and we take the week off.

Off.

When I tell you we take the week off, I mean, just we're not doing episodes.

We are we'll be busting our ass.

The only day we will actually take off next week will be Thanksgiving.

Mhmm.

And that if you're cooking literally all day long, is it a day off?

Mhmm.

I don't think so.

But, yeah, we're not behind on our product stuff for Black Friday.

There's just so much To do.

To do.

Yeah.

To get ready.

And then, either, you know, the the, economic blackout protest will may be a factor.

Mhmm.

I respect it if it's a factor.

I just hate it for, like, my business.

Yeah.

Now I I do I do know the people that I have seen talking about it have been saying, their their, benchmark, I guess, is a way of saying it.

Boycott the big corporations and and shop small and local.

Sure.

And just for those few days, not like forever boycott if you Yeah.

I know.

Can't because sometimes you just can't for forever boycott.

I would love to never have to shop at a Walmart again, but Yeah.

I have Walmart budget.

I have Aldi budget, so we go to Walmart.

Mhmm.

But there's that.

And then also, typically, we are not our busiest day is not actual Black Friday, the the day after Thanksgiving.

Mhmm.

Most folks are, like, doing their Amazon deals, their Walmart.

They're, like, buying the computer, buying the gift for the kid.

We tend to pick up Saturday a little bit.

I mean, we have sales, but it's not, like, overwhelming.

But that Sunday, typically Into Monday.

I will go into Monday, and I'll I'll start processing orange.

I'll just have boxes.

Every year, it's been more boxes, but I'll just start stacking the boxes.

Yeah.

One year, it was the la the first time I did it was the last time I fucking did it.

I paid to have, postal service come pick up our shit ton of boxes at once instead of, at at a specific time, like, not just our normal time for pickup when our mail carrier is usually here.

And that way you basically get a dedicated truck.

Like, they might be picking up other things, but that truck is designed to be able to hold your boxes Right.

Instead of your mail carrier might come in and not have room for your boxes.

Right?

So I paid for it, and then they didn't arrive.

And then they didn't arrive.

And then they didn't arrive.

And I wanna say it was the next fucking day they came for my boxes, and you don't get a refund when they don't come on the day you paid for them to be there.

I'm so mad.

So what we do is I will not burden our mail carrier with more.

I think my max is eight boxes because I don't know what kind of space she has.

She's always been good to us.

She's friendly.

Yeah.

Like, we like our mail carrier.

She she still talks to us when she sees us.

Right.

Haven't scared her off yet.

But anything past eight, I'm running to the post office.

And usually the Monday after Thanksgiving Yeah.

It's a it sometimes takes three or four trips.

I love it.

It's a great fucking problem to have.

It's a great problem to have.

But you only get that kind of outcome if you bust ass leading up to it to have something for folks to buy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, next and next next week is, even with the with, you know, the holiday and and the shopping day and all that, the youngest and I had been, volunteering at the Humane Society.

Mhmm.

And next week, part of that we, not only have helped out at the shelter, but also at the, thrift store.

They have a thrift store.

Yes.

And I you go for all kinds of reasons, but I think you go now because every time you come home, you come home with another 50¢ CD for something you did not have before.

Right.

Yeah.

And that that's kinda been at at the, at the thrift store.

That's kinda what we have.

We we've, inherited a corner of the the thrift stop.

Yeah.

They walk in and they go, you go clean that corner over there.

And and that corner consists of the DVDs, the VHS tapes.

I need to send you with a a list of DVDs I would love to have come home.

Yeah.

Keep keep an eye out.

Sure.

And, what else?

Vinyl albums, books.

Yeah.

That that's that's and and the kids section.

Which I'm sure is a hot mess.

Yeah.

Mhmm.

So, you know, it's, yeah.

You know, it's funny.

The the albums that they have come in, nothing that would interest me.

Mhmm.

I, I, you know, when I when I'm going through them, one of the things I have to go through would be surprised how many, album jackets do not have anything in them.

Now do you think they came in like that or somebody was like, oh, I'll just leave the jacket here.

I I think they most likely came in like that.

Maybe somebody just had, like, a big ole and they've dumped it and didn't check?

Yeah.

So what do you do when you find those?

Trash.

Okay.

Makes sense.

Trash.

And, you know the I when I'm going through these albums, like, this is the kind of stuff my grandmother and mom listened to and give me my Yeah.

The I don't know if the mic's picking up.

Lola is crying from another room.

She's crying as if she's been abandoned.

She's alone and forgotten.

Nobody will ever love her ever again.

She'll die alone in that comfy, used to be covered in leather, but now that don't look like leather no more, couch.

That is definitely hers.

Alone.

It's tragic, really.

My heart breaks for her.

I do wonder though if it's something about her getting older and when she wakes up or she looks around, she genuinely thinks she's alone.

I know.

Anyway, you were talking about Anyway.

Humane deciding for the holiday.

Yeah.

And the, you know, next next week with Black Friday coming up, they are looking for extra help.

And where was the extra help?

Where did they need the extra help?

Was it at the thrift store?

At the thrift store.

Yeah.

Because it'll be really busy.

Yeah.

Because they're they're expecting a busy Black Friday there.

I would imagine.

I mean, with with the economy being the way it is and people struggling financially, if you're gonna even attempt to do any Christmas shopping, you're gonna go Yeah.

You know?

You know?

I imagine thrift store.

I I I have noticed since, have been, you know, going there to the thrift store.

I am it it is even during the week, it has gotten busier and busier.

I I saw one person, leaving there.

They had filled their cart with books.

Mhmm.

You know?

So, yeah, I I imagine that it is gonna be pretty busy.

Mhmm.

So yeah.

They're they're looking for, extra help the day before Thanksgiving and then the day after.

You're gonna be busy the day before.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And if we don't have all the product ready, you're gonna be busy the day after.

So, you know, I'd, I'd like to, Yeah.

I know.

You know, help out.

They're they're really they're really good people there and, you know, and, you know, yeah, you know, I don't know.

The CDs that they have, they're yeah.

I I love going through the CDs because those are at least one every time.

Those those are more, you know, where I'm so, yeah.

I I I seem to find and it's funny, I go up there and the the the one woman who works the registry is like, how do you do it?

You always find the best CDs.

Because you're meticulously going through every single one and checking.

Is anything Because even in it.

Even some of yeah.

Exactly.

Gotta check to make sure something's in it and yeah.

Same thing.

So, yeah.

That's what I mean.

I am hoping to, have a quiet start to Black Friday.

Mhmm.

Because I know the sales don't come in fast and furious.

Now being under a new system with a site that loads faster and hopefully is better organized than our previous site Yeah.

Maybe.

Makes things easier for folks to shop.

Maybe.

Yeah.

But yeah.

Hope so.

There goes Lola again.

You couldn't entice her in here to be with us?

I'll I'll try now.

It's her couch time.

Is that is that what I'm She was actually in her crate.

Oh.

Oh, wow.

She's in her crate.

Okay.

Bed bed.

Oh, yeah.

And now she's at the door.

Come on.

Come on.

Please do not barrel into the tripod.

Oh, she's barreling.

She's barreling.

That's a woman on a mission.

I bet she has to pee.

I'm not gonna get one hit Same girl.

Same.

I know.

Really?

To the dog.

To the dog.

Oh my gosh.

So but yeah.

No.

I the the people there are really nice and, you know, and I'm always I I always look.

I see too what they have in, like, the, kitchen stuff.

Yes.

I'm on the hunt for from the thrift store.

I don't new for a rice cooker.

Yeah.

That's what I want.

I want a rice cooker.

Mhmm.

I mean, we found our steam mop there.

Yeah.

$10.

Actually, I think we got it cheaper.

I think they gave us, like, a deal.

Yeah.

I have a little baby crock pot now, a smaller one.

Not the mini, but, like, a small one.

I gotta decide what dip I'm gonna make Mhmm.

For for munching Mhmm.

On Thanksgiving.

I know.

I don't know.

But I'm gonna use that for that.

You know, we could well, it would have to be this weekend.

We'd have to go could go to the market.

Mhmm.

They had somebody selling the the packets of mix.

Yeah.

Those mixes are usually cold mixes.

I'm looking for, like, a hot dip.

Okay.

Lots of melty cheese.

Silent.

I assumed I was Silent asked, what kind of rice cooker?

The basic one or the fancy Japanese one?

I didn't know there was a fancy Japanese one.

I so I'm assuming I'm looking for, like, the basic one.

So because I didn't know I didn't that makes sense that there would be different types, but I didn't know.

For whatever reason, as an adult, I have been cooking rice often on not we don't eat rice a lot.

We eat more eat it more now than we used to.

And I it never comes out consistent.

It's not usually bad.

It's usually perfectly fine, but have I a 100% created a dark, hard, crunchy layer at the bottom of of a pot before?

Uh-huh.

And, you know, prior to doing that, I'd be like, oh, I know how to cook rice.

Clearly, I don't.

So I'm like, I just I need something to make it idiot proof so that I cannot fuck up.

I will follow the instructions and push the button and move on with my life and let the machine do the work.

Okay.

So that she's they she explained what the, fancy one does.

Buttons for white rice, brown rice, oatmeal, and Basic.

Just a button.

Yeah.

Don't let me fuck it up.

Yeah.

I've I have tried a buffalo chicken dip in the past for those in livestream who are advising it.

I thought about it, but then I was like, do I want something that's more just melted cheese?

I don't know.

I found a couple of places I was gonna ask you, hey.

Which of these sound good to you?

But, yes, a chicken buffalo dip is typically top of all the lists I find.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We have tried one in the past, but I didn't try it in the slow cooker that then kept it warm.

Right.

I baked it, I think, in the oven, and then we put it between us.

Us.

We were, like, watching movies, and so then it Congealed.

Right.

So maybe I'd have a better experience.

Yeah.

Oh, the youngest, talking about Thanksgiving Day on the ride home from we had to go out today.

And, I said, okay.

So for desserts, we're gonna have an apple pie.

Oh, I need to put that on the list.

I need to buy the apple pie.

Yeah.

I am I do not make apple pies.

We're gonna gonna have an apple pie because you and the oldest love an apple pie, and I will eat apple pie.

If we have it, I'll eat it.

I found a recipe for peanut butter fudge, very basic.

I'm sure it's like the standard recipe.

But I was like, oh, I can do that.

So we're gonna make peanut butter fudge.

And then I asked the youngest, I was like, okay, so you're not gonna touch the apple pie.

You may or may not like the peanut butter fudge.

Is there a dessert you'd like?

And the youngest is bringing back the, pumpkin cheesecake that we used to do.

Okay.

Alright.

So on top of everything else, I gotta make a cheesecake next to me.

Yeah.

So you know, silent, I I love a spinach artichoke dip.

JB does not like a spinach artichoke dip.

No.

No?

No.

No.

Mm-mm.

But I did see another dip that was I'd have to go look it up again.

A bacon cheesy spinach dip without the artichokes.

And I meant to ask you if it was the spinach but not the artichokes, would it be okay?

Okay.

See.

Look at us.

We're getting vegetables in with our two pounds of melted cheese.

Whatever.

Whatever.

Yeah.

This weekend, I have to finalize everything I need to get for our, not at all traditional Thanksgiving dinner.

And it's like all the perishables.

I gotta get some heavy cream.

I gotta get my cream cheese.

I got stuff that's gotta go in the refrigerator.

But I gotta, like, we Compeller hot water.

I'm getting it all this week, and I'm not going to the grocery store again until after Thanksgiving.

Man, I've I've got to weigh that pork shoulder and see what what's gonna be what, how long I actually have to cook it.

And I am I'm I was considering asking you this, but I think I'm I'm doing enough to save, on dishwashing.

I usually when we when we cook whatever we cook, I just use our serving dishes and our pots and pans or whatever.

I am buying the aluminum pans to cook shit.

Yeah.

This year.

Yeah.

I don't I don't I don't blame.

Anything I don't have to wash when we're done?

Yeah.

Cool.

Yeah.

Mhmm.

Which is probably why I'll sleep in day after on Black Friday.

If I've got everything set up, the emails have gone out, the social media is up, the Mhmm.

I don't think I'm gonna do a coupon code.

I'm just gonna make it all on sale.

Yeah.

Whatever whatever.

Unless unless something absolutely positively has no other choice, I'm sleeping into.

Yeah.

Because from from Black Friday until usually about three days before Christmas, we will be hustling.

Or at least as early as the, fur babies let me sleep.

There is that.

There is that.

Ella was at the door.

Your alarm went off at six.

It sounded like it startled both of us Yeah.

Out of the deep sleep.

And Ella was already At the door.

She heard that alarm.

She's at the bedroom door.

And she's not fed

at six.

Y'all, she's fed, like, 06:15.

Yeah.

But you, like, wake up, put some clothes on, rub the soap out of your eyes I I start your coffee?

I start my coffee first.

Yep.

But she was like, I'm hungry.

And that's every day.

That yes.

That's every day.

I have, I have, upset miss Ella.

That is true.

Silent.

He said sleeping in for me is a very daring 8AM.

That is true.

Mhmm.

I tried to sleep in a couple days

ago, and I woke up at 07:15.

I was like, woo.

Look at me go.

Seven holes in, like, a fifteen in the morning.

Yeah.

There was a time in my early twenties, mid twenties, early to mid twenties.

I used to Forty years ago?

Yeah.

You know, I was, always out on the weekends.

And I would sleep

till one, 02:00 in the afternoon.

Mhmm.

Mhmm.

Yeah.

I had to stop doing that after I birthed the first kid.

That those days of sleeping in, long fucking gone.

Long fucking gone.

Yeah.

Mm-mm.

That was that was never an option again.

I somehow turned myself into I would not call myself an early bird in that, like, chipper way.

I'm a begrudging early I don't know.

Vulture?

I don't know.

Like, I'm up, but I'm not happy to be here.

Yeah.

And now I don't know how to turn it off.

So no.

I think I have pissed off Ella.

So I think it started with I didn't we now use the pine pellets for their litter.

It's cheaper.

It smells nominally better.

They track less of it.

We changed it for the tracking purposes.

The litter we were using, I fucking loved, but, oh my god, it was everywhere.

It was all through our house, because it was that sand kind of texture.

So we've moved to pine pellets.

I think we talked about this several weeks ago because we had a semi health crisis because Ella was very upset.

Okay.

So I like the pine pellets also.

It's easier, in my opinion, to change out as as needed to go fresh pine pellets.

Well, apparently, I waited a little too long for Ella's liking, and somehow it was now not the right texture under her feet for her to pee.

I think too soft somehow.

I didn't think that existed.

So Mhmm.

I was catching her, like, peeing in places she should not be peeing.

I went, ah, shit.

Let's just I gotta do it.

Let me switch everything over.

So I switch everything over.

But we have a trick with Ella to get her to use a one specific litter box where I put some of the old litter in to fake her out that, oh, no.

This you can put your paws on this and you can pee.

She doesn't have a problem taking a shit in pine pellet, but something about peeing, it she's offended.

And apparently, that still is not correct, and I didn't put enough of the old litter to do the fake out because she peed out two things.

She peed outside the litter box till I put more of the old litter in.

And and she apparently peed on some laundry that had not made it into the laundry basket yet.

How did I discover this?

I put this morning, very quickly got dressed because I had had to go do something early morning.

I don't usually have to do things that early.

I was like, oh, you have to, like, put on grown up clothes by,

like, 09:00 this morning.

So I just shoved on, like, old pj's to get out of the bed and go make breakfast and whatever whatever.

And I'm sitting there eating my breakfast, and every time I would turn my head, I'd be like, oh my god.

Something smells like like gross.

Something is what is happening?

And we had an open window, and I thought, is something outside?

I was like, like, did somebody make a mess under the dining room table and I haven't seen?

No.

I had thrown on a shirt that apparently Ella had peed on.

And how can I accuse Ella of this?

Because Onyx does not have this issue.

Litter is not her food is her issue, not her litter.

Mm-mm.

I've not never yanked off a piece of clothing faster than when I asked to pee.

In.

It was something with pee on it.

It was dry.

It was old pee.

And apparently, it was just a small portion because it was not an overwhelming I had to turn my head and I would smell it.

I was like, what is that smell?

Where is it coming from?

Fucking Ella.

Goddamn.

Yeah.

She's she's a trip, that cat.

Yes.

Yes.

Anyhow.

Yeah.

I'm I'm actually holding back for shit I could be talking about because we still have the Friday night livestream.

That's true.

That's true.

Same same.

To brag on the oldest.

He had a concert last night.

Mhmm.

We can talk about that Friday.

I'd like to map out in great detail, for whatever reason, because it amuses me, what are we're having, for Thanksgiving.

But I don't wanna do that now because we got a whole other livestream coming in a couple of days.

But you are doing the it's the equivalent of the, okay, I need to get off the phone with you, and ahs.

Like, okay.

Wrap this up.

Yep.

Baby girl, wrap this shit up.

Come on now.

Thank thank you for being polite enough not to, in the middle of recording, go, come on.

Let's go.

I appreciate that.

Now if I was on the other side of the camera, I'd be doing that shit.

I'm like, mhmm.

And I cannot promise that I would not be like, if I just don't look at him, I can't see.

Possible denial.

Oh, god.

Oh, lord.

Oh, my lord.

I wanna complain about the nap problem we've had in the house that we're, like, desperately trying to, like, make go away.

That'll be Friday night.

In between, you know, conversations about food and nostalgic things and you know?

Yeah.

So but you did do make the sound and do the thing.

So that tells me, since this is a bonus section, there's no bonus section to go to.

Right.

You were ready to be out of our bonus section Yeah.

Is what I'm hearing.

You know?

I still have things to do.

Same.

And I got cooked dinner, and I I switched at the last moment what I was gonna make for dinner, and I was like, oh, but I'm not actually prepared to make that for dinner.

I don't have a good recipe at my disposal.

I better go find one.

And and we don't have anything to do tonight or anywhere to go.

Correct?

As far as I know.

Good.

And we don't tomorrow either.

Right?

Oh, good.

I I mean Yeah.

I you had I don't think so.

You might go to the humane society.

I may go to the humane society in the afternoon.

In the afternoon.

Yeah.

But then Friday, you have a doctor's appointment.

Yeah.

That's right.

Here's the thing.

We have written calendars.

We have our Google Calendar.

We have reminders on our phone.

We're getting text messages, and we still can't fucking remember Yeah.

What we have coming up next.

I know.

It's too much.

It's too much.

Yeah.

It is.

You know, I've I've got more appointments than I ever had.

I will give the good news.

We do get to have health insurance for next next year.

Yeah.

And it's not as awful as it could have been.

Yeah.

So, yay.

That was the text message I sent my mother the other week.

I was like, I get to have health insurance next year.

She went, oh, good.

I'm so glad.

She's like, I was thinking of a plan b for you.

I was like, oh, I'd already found my plan b.

Plan b.

Yeah.

But, you know I you know what kills me?

I'm celebrating the fact that I have health insurance because it's needed in The US if you want to have a chance of going to a fucking doctor.

Yeah.

And yet, I know it's shitty.

I know the system is shitty.

I know that Mhmm.

The type of health insurance I have is better than it has been, but it's still shitty.

Like, it's like, why am I I have to celebrate a shitty system because at least that shitty system means I might have medical debt, but hopefully, I won't I can still go to a doctor when I desperately need to.

Like, the dystopian of it all.

Like, the I you know.

Yeah.

You know, the things things like our prescriptions and stuff.

You know, we keep up with those.

Oh, yeah.

I was researching what can I do instead?

I'd actually found some, Direct Primary Cares here locally.

If you're not familiar with what a Direct Primary Cares, they do not accept insurance.

They do it as a membership model.

So you pay, like, an application or an enrollment fee, and then you pay a monthly fee every month to that doctor's office, but you can literally make an appointment for whatever Yeah.

Their practice covers.

But it's not major medical.

It's not gonna cover you going to a hospital or going to a specialist.

It's just for primary care basic basic stuff.

And I was like, if we have to.

And then I found a couple places.

I was like, actually, I wouldn't mind going here, but we don't really wanna change our doctor.

We like our doctor.

But yeah.

Mhmm.

So, yay, we're celebrating our awful, awful health system here in The United States.

I get access to it for one more year without going broke.

Holy shit.

I don't know.

The you know, they're going, what's what's the deductible this year?

Oh my god.

I found a plan with no deductible, but we just have high co pays.

Yeah.

Yeah.

$50 to go see our primary care, $100 to go see the specialist.

But I'm not fighting a deductible.

Except we have a prescription deductible, and guess what we have every month?

Prescriptions to get refilled.

A prescription deductible, and guess what we have every month?

Prescriptions to get refilled for everybody in the family.

So it's imperfect.

Yeah.

But it it It's better than nothing.

It's not what it could've been.

Right.

Yep.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Anyway, on that note, I guess we will go, and we'll be back Friday night.

For podcast listeners, Friday night, 09:30PM on YouTube.

We hope, you can make it and, come see the chaos That ensues.

Instead of just listening to it.

I feel like seeing it might be more helpful because Ethan get context or whatever the fuck we're talking about if one of us forgets to actually describe it for people who are not looking at the screen.

Also, for anybody who's busy, we make great background noise.

Sometimes you'll have to stop what you're doing and go, did they actually just say that?

And what was the context for that?

I get it.

I get it.

That's why you gotta rewind.

You know?

Right?

But yay.

Okay.

We're gonna, like Okay.

Thanks for being here.

Yep.

Thanks for hanging out with us.

Especially to the bitter end, especially on a no topic, just pure randomness kind of episode.

And we'll do that, the randomness Friday night.

Friday night.

Mhmm.

Hope to see you there.

Yep.

Okay.

Bye.

Bye.