[SPEAKER_04]: Welcome to the Start Me Up podcast part of MSW Media and the sexy liberal podcast network.

[SPEAKER_04]: I'm your host Kimberly Johnson in DC.

[SPEAKER_04]: Today my returning guest is my BFF, my badass Bestie Stephanie Domingo's Walton.

[SPEAKER_04]: We had a lot of fun.

[SPEAKER_04]: We recorded this on Sunday, but it's nevergreen, so I'm posting it today.

[SPEAKER_04]: Before you enjoy this, Start Me Up podcast is independent, listen or fund it, and woman run.

[SPEAKER_04]: Visit patreon.com slash start me up to see the variety of tiers offered, including the option to get a bonus, what's up episode just for patrons every Tuesday.

[SPEAKER_04]: It's kind of like my online journal where I get a little more personal and I talk about whatever's on my mind.

[SPEAKER_04]: There's also an ad free tier with a much shorter intro.

[SPEAKER_04]: Just visit patreon.com slash start me up.

[SPEAKER_04]: Now please enjoy my conversation with Stephanie Dominguez Walton.

[SPEAKER_04]: Welcome back to the show, Stephanie.

[SPEAKER_01]: I love that game show host and Chris.

[SPEAKER_04]: Let's play the family feud.

[SPEAKER_04]: Okay, spell wheel.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I want you know, I always wanted to be on family feud.

[SPEAKER_04]: I always want you on Wheel of Fortune.

[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, I auditioned for it when I was 90.

[SPEAKER_01]: Really?

[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.

[SPEAKER_01]: And I made it to like the final round.

[SPEAKER_01]: But I just didn't have the gusto, because I was too old.

[SPEAKER_01]: You didn't have gusto?

[SPEAKER_01]: I didn't have the gusto.

[SPEAKER_01]: I was 19.

[SPEAKER_01]: And there was this woman who was in my like final three, where we were playing a mock game.

[SPEAKER_01]: And her name was Beverly Dodge, and she was a teacher from, [SPEAKER_01]: like Ohio or something, and she kept going, come on, baby.

[SPEAKER_01]: Come on, honey.

[SPEAKER_01]: I just wasn't willing to go there.

[SPEAKER_01]: And now I'd be like, you know, she's been on top of fan of white, please.

[SPEAKER_01]: And then I saw I saw Beverly Dodge win it all.

[SPEAKER_04]: Wow.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.

[SPEAKER_04]: Pretty cool.

[SPEAKER_01]: That's pretty cool.

[SPEAKER_01]: It was Beverly Dodge.

[SPEAKER_04]: Remember how much she won?

[SPEAKER_01]: I don't, it was, you know, that was like I was 19.

[SPEAKER_01]: So let's do some quick math.

[SPEAKER_01]: That was 41 years.

[SPEAKER_03]: Wow.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_01]: Well, you're ancient.

[SPEAKER_04]: I'm just kidding.

[SPEAKER_04]: I am.

[SPEAKER_04]: We're basically the same age.

[SPEAKER_04]: So I'm ancient too.

[SPEAKER_04]: But I'm like, oh my god, good, though.

[SPEAKER_04]: And well, okay, like, before we continue.

[SPEAKER_04]: Number one, I wanna say we have no notes.

[SPEAKER_04]: There's no notes.

[SPEAKER_04]: Once again, we're just like, we're just gonna say whatever comes on our mind, which means we have no idea what we're gonna talk about.

[SPEAKER_04]: Maybe we'll get to politics, maybe we won't.

[SPEAKER_04]: We probably will, but there's, you know, we're just gonna talk about whatever we feel like talking about.

[SPEAKER_04]: Listen, I did mad if you had no.

[SPEAKER_02]: Let me just make it real clear.

[SPEAKER_04]: Okay, so I'm going to start my complaint and before I start my complaint, I need to tell everybody, I don't want to fucking lectures, no fucking lectures, so you know I had to go to Mary Trump's party back in November, so when I found out we had three weeks notice the [SPEAKER_04]: at the start of this year, and I will, I want to talk to you about that.

[SPEAKER_04]: I do want to, it's political, but it's at the start of the year, because you know, we were all in a really freaked out mode at the beginning of the year.

[SPEAKER_04]: And so, of course, every year, I want to lose weight every month, I want to lose weight.

[SPEAKER_04]: It's always my priority, and it just hasn't been happening.

[SPEAKER_04]: So, [SPEAKER_04]: Um, three weeks before we go to New York, I'm like, all right, this, this is my wake up call that we're going to be doing things from time to time and I got to get out of the house and see people and I want to lose weight.

[SPEAKER_04]: So, you know, that's okay.

[SPEAKER_04]: I, I, I started eating differently and I'm not pushing myself crazy, but I am, I've seen progress, so that's good.

[SPEAKER_04]: But then the other thing is that my finger nails, [SPEAKER_04]: Aside from that the fact they've always been the bane of my fucking existence because I pick at them and I can't leave them alone I have a compulsion with them and I can but I just I give in to my compulsion So I'm top of it now I give in to my compulsion because my nails are weak and there's nothing I can't grow them I've tried it doesn't matter what I do they just rip so I want it to have nice nails So I stupidly decided to get the gel nails [SPEAKER_04]: And now I know that people do this all the time.

[SPEAKER_04]: I'm not at all the time person with the fucking nail salon.

[SPEAKER_04]: I don't like nail salons.

[SPEAKER_04]: I don't enjoy it.

[SPEAKER_04]: I don't feel pampered.

[SPEAKER_04]: I feel like it's in position on my time.

[SPEAKER_04]: And I just don't like it.

[SPEAKER_04]: I'm not, I'm just not made for that.

[SPEAKER_04]: So I go the first time and they do my nails in their nice.

[SPEAKER_04]: They're pretty, they're red color.

[SPEAKER_04]: They're a little longer than I wanted.

[SPEAKER_04]: Wherewithall to basically just demand that they make a mischievous I want, I was intimidated, I guess.

[SPEAKER_04]: And I didn't know what to do.

[SPEAKER_04]: I kept telling her shorter, and it was just never short enough, because I didn't want long nails.

[SPEAKER_04]: I just wanted just over my finger.

[SPEAKER_04]: And anyway, so I get home, and I think I hate them, and I spend all this fucking money because I had my, uh, I also, everybody knows this.

[SPEAKER_04]: I also had my a pedicure, so they slough all that shit off your feet, and I came home that night and took a shower, and my feet were so slippery that I fell in the shower, and I have this massive bruise on my arm.

[SPEAKER_04]: Oh, my lord, have mercy.

[SPEAKER_01]: I was sorry.

[SPEAKER_01]: I was like, we're old people.

[SPEAKER_01]: Let's just get that out of here.

[SPEAKER_01]: No, I'm listening.

[SPEAKER_01]: Second fall and supporters.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, second fall this year.

[SPEAKER_04]: First fall that was not my fault.

[SPEAKER_04]: I did.

[SPEAKER_01]: Jesus God.

[SPEAKER_04]: Anyway, so then I go back, right?

[SPEAKER_04]: Cause it's like for Thanksgiving.

[SPEAKER_04]: And I want to have my nails.

[SPEAKER_04]: I figure, okay, I'm going to keep this because I love the way they look.

[SPEAKER_04]: Once I cut them down, I loved them.

[SPEAKER_04]: I thought they were so pretty and then I'm like all right, I want to get them done for Thanksgiving.

[SPEAKER_04]: So I just wanted like this pale kind of neutral pink and I don't know what, my nail technician this time was awful, she was so sick, they looked and and the way that she put them on it looked like they had already been on for a week.

[SPEAKER_01]: It was a little rough and so no, so you had that white at the very bat at the very end I need it when they go to it and they're thick.

[SPEAKER_03]: They're really thick.

[SPEAKER_04]: It just it looked so ugly.

[SPEAKER_04]: So I started fucking with them and now I've picked all of them off, but three and you know, I've damaged my nail.

[SPEAKER_04]: So my nails are so fucking badly damaged.

[SPEAKER_04]: Yep, yep, you sure did.

[SPEAKER_04]: And now I just have to deal with it.

[SPEAKER_04]: So anyway, I just needed to complain about that.

[SPEAKER_04]: And the reason I said, I don't want lectures is because you have to put your fucking nails or your, yeah, your fingernails and that infrared light or whatever it is.

[SPEAKER_04]: And that's not good for you.

[SPEAKER_04]: I mean, I don't think it's going to be a problem.

[SPEAKER_01]: You can do it at home.

[SPEAKER_01]: It's just it takes time.

[SPEAKER_01]: I know.

[SPEAKER_01]: Do you know how to do it at home?

[SPEAKER_01]: I do have one of those light things.

[SPEAKER_01]: No, no, no, you don't need the light thing.

[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, to take it off, you mean you get a really good, like a course file.

[SPEAKER_01]: And then you try to, you know, you get as much of the gel off before, you know, you get to the nail.

[SPEAKER_01]: You know, before you get to the top layer of the nail that you pulled off when you took it off with your hands.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_01]: And then you get, and then you get the cotton, and you're so good.

[SPEAKER_01]: And then you put it around foil, and you just, and then you put on a show that you don't need to stop and start 14 times because you won't be able to do it because you'll foil on all your fingers.

[SPEAKER_01]: And then you get, and then you get a less coarse nail file.

[SPEAKER_01]: I've done it, I do it at home because I don't like to go back, but here's the other thing.

[SPEAKER_01]: I don't get gel very often, unless I'm like traveling, you know, and I'm going to be, I want to look nice like if it's green or something, but yeah, because it takes the top layer, and then you've got the peeling nails for a month afterwards.

[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I just never going to do this again when will we learn I know I'm never going to do this again and I just feel like I mean I feel like I'm glad I didn't make a mistake on my face and feel like this regret for my face, but you know like doing something that might have fucked my face up, but it's just kind of story about that that I'm going to laugh what Lee is tell me let's go for it.

[SPEAKER_01]: So probably at least a decade ago when there was zero need for anything going in my face.

[SPEAKER_01]: Um, and so I don't.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_01]: Um, I'm also kind of embracing like, I'm not going to lie.

[SPEAKER_01]: I've tried a couple of things over the over the years.

[SPEAKER_01]: Like, um, I went to a Botox house party because I had a friend whose cousin was a med spa, like a real nurse that did this for a living and she'd show up with like a briefcase, filled with injections and stuff.

[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, what?

[SPEAKER_01]: So people are, you know, flipping around the living room and shit, and I go, well, I said, what do you think?

[SPEAKER_01]: What would you recommend for me?

[SPEAKER_01]: Mind you, I don't even know if I'm 50 at this point.

[SPEAKER_01]: And I look like I'm, you know, 36 at the post, you know?

[SPEAKER_01]: Right.

[SPEAKER_01]: And so she goes, maybe a little bit of bow talks because you got these wrinkles above your eyebrows and I'm like, sure.

[SPEAKER_01]: So she hits me.

[SPEAKER_01]: with a little bit of above eyebrow Botox on both sides.

[SPEAKER_01]: One eyebrow straight across one eyebrow straight up like a cartoon.

[SPEAKER_01]: Oh my God.

[SPEAKER_01]: Oh my God.

[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.

[SPEAKER_01]: And you know me, I've got short hair.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_01]: So thank God it was in the era of the longer bang because I just pulled my bangs forward.

[SPEAKER_01]: I [SPEAKER_01]: I have a dermatologist that I've been seeing since I was like 25 years old and now my kids seem and stuff and I go, I sent a picture via email to the office and I said, what do I do?

[SPEAKER_01]: And it goes, you got to wait that shit out.

[SPEAKER_01]: You got to wait that shit out, it's going to take four months.

[SPEAKER_01]: Wow.

[SPEAKER_01]: But it takes you a picture because I saved it to Larry, so needless to say, you know, I'm going to I want to play by the Linda Hamilton rules, which is going to talk about her.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_01]: I've earned this man.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_01]: I've earned this.

[SPEAKER_01]: I got a wrinkling neck.

[SPEAKER_01]: I call it a skin scarf.

[SPEAKER_04]: I have around my neck and you know what I'm 60 so I should I should look this way You know what that's what I keep telling myself because I I'm gonna be 60 in two and a half years And I feel like okay, you know like the other day when I it was like a Thanksgiving photo I took off myself and I could see two lines vertical not horizontal on my forehead like the in between your and they're not even that bad [SPEAKER_04]: But I just completely freaked out about it.

[SPEAKER_04]: Nice to be apologizing to Bob.

[SPEAKER_04]: I keep apologizing to Bob.

[SPEAKER_04]: I'm sorry, I looked at him.

[SPEAKER_04]: And he's like, he's like, what the fuck is wrong with you?

[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, I'm going to kill him.

[SPEAKER_04]: I'm apologizing to him.

[SPEAKER_04]: But I started thinking about it last night.

[SPEAKER_04]: Okay, I just hear me out.

[SPEAKER_04]: I do not want to sound like this is going to sound so up my own ass and conceited and gross, but I swear to God, just give me, just let me get through it.

[SPEAKER_04]: So it's like, when I was a little girl, I, you know, I mean, I remember my mother always told me that I was beautiful, but I didn't [SPEAKER_04]: I didn't really feel beautiful.

[SPEAKER_04]: And I think every parent thinks their kid is beautiful.

[SPEAKER_04]: So it's like, I didn't really think anything about it.

[SPEAKER_04]: And then I got, you know, I had a stomach, like my whole thing, I was never fat as a kid, but I was kind of like thick and big.

[SPEAKER_04]: I was always big.

[SPEAKER_04]: Like all the Mexican people always coming good on both that.

[SPEAKER_04]: It's like, please don't call me that, but whatever, all the fucking time, I'm the webbing, that's a term of endearment.

[SPEAKER_04]: I know it only, like, yeah, I know it is, [SPEAKER_04]: I'd hear Weta, Weta, good end all the time, the white big girl.

[SPEAKER_04]: So, anyway, my whole thing was like, when I would take a bath, when I was a little kid, I would have a stomach, and I'd have rolls in my stomach, and so I would just look up.

[SPEAKER_04]: That's what I did.

[SPEAKER_04]: And so, okay, but then I get older, and I'm really gross, right?

[SPEAKER_04]: Because I just go through that phase of gross, you know, 12-year-old grossness.

[SPEAKER_04]: And then I'd become a swans.

[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I was super awkward.

[SPEAKER_04]: I was just so gross.

[SPEAKER_04]: And I kind of knew it, and I kind of didn't care.

[SPEAKER_04]: And then I turned 13, and I started blossoming, and then I realized, oh, I'm pretty.

[SPEAKER_04]: Everybody's telling me, oh my God, you're so beautiful.

[SPEAKER_04]: You should be a model.

[SPEAKER_04]: You should be a model.

[SPEAKER_04]: And it was like, everywhere I went, that's all I heard.

[SPEAKER_04]: It's that I should be a model.

[SPEAKER_04]: And it was so...

[SPEAKER_04]: It was like to the extreme where when I was, this is so funny and embarrassing, but you know, you're a kid.

[SPEAKER_04]: So I was 15 and I wrote in my diary, I literally wrote this.

[SPEAKER_04]: I wrote, I cause a sensation wherever I go.

[SPEAKER_04]: Oh my god.

[SPEAKER_04]: But it's because I did.

[SPEAKER_04]: Like I was six feet tall and blonde and pretty.

[SPEAKER_04]: And at the time, I fit in with what the models of the time looked like, right?

[SPEAKER_04]: Like it slowly went into heroin chic.

[SPEAKER_04]: And then I no longer come.

[SPEAKER_00]: Cause the sensation.

[SPEAKER_04]: When I first read that as an adult, I was laughing so fucking hard, but it was really more like I couldn't believe it because I had to write just totally not the ugly duckling, but I was just like the geek.

[SPEAKER_04]: And then here I was this swan and all these men were paying attention to me and women were like, oh my god, you're so beautiful, you're so beautiful.

[SPEAKER_04]: So here I am walking around with the understanding.

[SPEAKER_04]: that, okay, I am a beautiful woman, and everybody's telling me I'm beautiful.

[SPEAKER_04]: And then, I decide I'm gonna be an actor.

[SPEAKER_04]: And, you know, and at the time when I was a little kid, I'm like, I said, I was kind of fat, and I was just, that's kind of never left me, okay.

[SPEAKER_04]: This kid, this geek kid in me, has always been there, and there's always a part of me that no matter how glamorous I could look.

[SPEAKER_04]: When I came home, [SPEAKER_04]: I took off all my makeup and, you know, I would feel like that kind of chubby kid.

[SPEAKER_04]: And it led to eating disorders, it led to fucking not eating enough for years, it led to me hating myself.

[SPEAKER_04]: So that's why I want to be really clear.

[SPEAKER_04]: This is not me being at my own ass.

[SPEAKER_01]: But it was like, I had this different, never apologize.

[SPEAKER_01]: We're being really, we're real with you.

[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, and it's like, I had this gay friend, or I still have him, his name is Steve.

[SPEAKER_04]: And he was an actor.

[SPEAKER_04]: And I asked him, I said, am I beautiful?

[SPEAKER_04]: Or am I really beautiful?

[SPEAKER_04]: And of course, that he's laughing at me acting like, oh my god, that's the most conceited thing I ever heard.

[SPEAKER_04]: But really what I meant was, am I beautiful enough?

[SPEAKER_04]: is my beauty is my beauty gonna hit in Hollywood.

[SPEAKER_04]: It wasn't and it sounded so conceited and he just laughed at me and it was really coming from this deep insecurity that's like yeah yeah I know everyone says I'm pretty but am I pretty enough is my are my looks enough?

[SPEAKER_04]: and I so desperately I heard all of this feedback from age 15 to like early 20s.

[SPEAKER_04]: Oh my god you're so beautiful you should be a model you should be then I get into Hollywood and nobody wants to really have anything to do with me and it's a completely different situation in Hollywood so anyway [SPEAKER_04]: I, you know, I go through my life, I leave Hollywood and, you know, I recognize that I'm an attractive woman and I, and people consider me beautiful, but really you haven't seen me when I don't have my makeup on and you really don't know what I look like.

[SPEAKER_04]: I've just, I'm presenting this illusion to you and, you know, when I go home, that's the real me and nobody can really accept through them like that.

[SPEAKER_04]: That thighs.

[SPEAKER_04]: And my eyes are gross and I have veins of my legs and you know, and I bite off my nails and I have acne and I sweat underneath my arms and all these reasons why I was just really ugly, you know, it's like I put on a mask and you can see that's that's the outside me, but this is the real me so anyway, now I'm at the face where [SPEAKER_04]: I'm starting to dull.

[SPEAKER_04]: I thought of this last night.

[SPEAKER_04]: My beauty, my youth, all of it, it's starting to dull.

[SPEAKER_04]: And that's why I wanted to apologize to Bob, because I feel like you met me when I looked when I wasn't dull, but now I'm dull.

[SPEAKER_04]: And of course he doesn't see it that way.

[SPEAKER_04]: But I do.

[SPEAKER_04]: And I think what I experienced when I was younger was a little bit of resentment.

[SPEAKER_04]: And this sounds so weird, but it was like, I thought, okay, God, you made me beautiful, [SPEAKER_04]: And it's like, that is such a fucked up way to think, but that's how insecure I've been.

[SPEAKER_04]: And now that I'm older and I feel like I'm doing, I'm like back to that Chubby 13-year-old geek.

[SPEAKER_04]: I'm like, that's who I really am see.

[SPEAKER_04]: And okay, now I hate unjust laying a bear for all you people because it's like, it either sounds conceded or it sounds like I'm fishing for compliments.

[SPEAKER_04]: I'm not.

[SPEAKER_04]: I'm not, and then what I do is I realize, wait a minute, I'm going to be 60 and doing it half the year.

[SPEAKER_04]: So there's one little spiel, but it's hard.

[SPEAKER_04]: It's hard to lose your youth.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yep, it is.

[SPEAKER_01]: And you know what?

[SPEAKER_01]: Sometimes I'm bummed about that.

[SPEAKER_01]: but other times unlike I have this joke I have a girlfriend who's who's she's exactly to the day three years younger than me we have the same birthday and we do this funny southern voice where we're like Angie her name's Angie.

[SPEAKER_01]: And I, and I always go, you know, what, Angie, we're going to love.

[SPEAKER_01]: Hey, you've, yeah, I've, and we're playing rock and roll music in a band and we're, you know, what, we got, we have our help.

[SPEAKER_01]: I still have the majority of my mind, and I, you know, I actually, you know, I actually, [SPEAKER_01]: I got kind of a bad haircut right now, which for me is a bummer because my hair is so short, you know, it's like, I'm going to make, I'm going to make this work for the next four weeks and just hope for the best, you know, but listen, it's weird when so much of our value as women.

[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm going to say women of a certain age because we're, you know, we're, we're the elder gen X's and we know what that's like it's like, we've heard it all.

[SPEAKER_01]: We've seen it all.

[SPEAKER_01]: We've been objectified in every way humanly possible.

[SPEAKER_01]: We've been touched.

[SPEAKER_01]: We've been cast aside.

[SPEAKER_01]: We've had our ideas sold and stolen.

[SPEAKER_01]: We've been told to suck day for a promotion.

[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, we've like, we, there ain't nothing.

[SPEAKER_01]: We grew up in the era of size zero.

[SPEAKER_01]: Of course.

[SPEAKER_01]: And I've never been a size zero.

[SPEAKER_01]: OK, I mean, you're six feet tall.

[SPEAKER_01]: Like, you're a size zero.

[SPEAKER_01]: I don't think you'd be the cryptkeeper at this point.

[SPEAKER_01]: But like, you know, so so much.

[SPEAKER_01]: And then I'm going to throw something else in there.

[SPEAKER_01]: I'm a brown girl, right, from the jump.

[SPEAKER_01]: Like there's no hiding that.

[SPEAKER_01]: So there was a whole other standard that I could, you know, I had tips, I had titties.

[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I've been like pretty much this size since, well, close to, but you know what I mean?

[SPEAKER_01]: Like I had big boobies.

[SPEAKER_01]: Now they're now, they're, you know, they're dangling at my freaking belly button, right?

[SPEAKER_01]: Now with my freaking hands, I was gonna look like you, but hey, look.

[SPEAKER_01]: They look decent in a brawl today and so that I'm taking the wins right, but to be held to these standards, yes, are really tough and then you think about, you know, folks that, you know, you're not everybody can be [SPEAKER_01]: the uh, pausing a sensation wherever they go and I'm not making funny, but you know what I'm saying.

[SPEAKER_04]: No, I'm telling them because that was funny.

[SPEAKER_01]: And so I loved that.

[SPEAKER_01]: I think that's amazing because you were like, what is going on?

[SPEAKER_01]: Like a few years ago, they were poking fun at me because the tallest kid in the room with a pair of coke bottle glasses on.

[SPEAKER_01]: Like, uh, oh, what's happening?

[SPEAKER_01]: But so now I'm taking the power in knowing that I do everything I possibly can to like be a decent human being us to show up for my family to show up for my friends to if I fuck up or I do something shitty to somebody I want to [SPEAKER_01]: own it.

[SPEAKER_01]: And I want to correct it.

[SPEAKER_01]: I want to stand up for myself.

[SPEAKER_01]: I want to take care of my body because I, you know, I'm also almost 25 years sober and there were periods in my life when I didn't really want to be around.

[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I was doing a lot of self-destructive shit that made me, like, I, I questioned, do I want to die on accident because of what I'm doing to myself?

[SPEAKER_01]: Or do I want to die on purpose?

[SPEAKER_01]: And is that why I'm doing this to myself?

[SPEAKER_01]: Like, I had to ask, you know, it's time to ask yourself the question.

[SPEAKER_01]: And I did, and I took, I decided to get sober.

[SPEAKER_01]: So I'm coming up on 25 years.

[SPEAKER_01]: But so I'm like, I had some girlfriends over at the house last night, and they're actually, they live out of town.

[SPEAKER_01]: They're standing in the next room right now.

[SPEAKER_01]: They're asleep.

[SPEAKER_01]: I made coffee, don't worry.

[SPEAKER_01]: And they said, my friend Heather, who's 25 years younger than me, goes, you need to write a book.

[SPEAKER_01]: And it's titled, I shouldn't be alive by Stephanie Dominguez Walton.

[SPEAKER_01]: Well, like honestly, the fact that I'm here and I got this second chance at life, [SPEAKER_01]: truly.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_01]: And I have, I mean, I never would have met your ass.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_01]: I never would have had these fucking amazing kids and this husband who is my rock and my partner to the bone till the day we kick.

[SPEAKER_01]: I got this man.

[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_01]: You know, like so I'm okay.

[SPEAKER_01]: having a fucking skin scarf around my throat.

[SPEAKER_01]: And, you know what, I don't care about the wrinkles in the forehead.

[SPEAKER_01]: I am, I'm sorry about this TED talk, but like it feels really good to scare.

[SPEAKER_01]: Right now.

[SPEAKER_01]: because we go through things as human beings, just life is really hard sometimes.

[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm going through some things right now, but you know, but I got, I got this moment, this is a gift, this is like, you know, I think it in shows past you and I have talked about maybe dabbled and like, I think I might have said my religion is my people.

[SPEAKER_01]: the love that I have for my people and the love that I receive and that's like my that's my thing you know what I mean and this is part of it this is what gets us through and so you still do cause a sensation where you go because when you walk into a room sister you're kind of tough to not notice okay but I just want to be clear I don't need to cause that it was something that like I observed right you know I observed about myself and it was surprising [SPEAKER_04]: You know, it just wasn't what I ever thought when I was younger.

[SPEAKER_04]: I, because I just, you know, I was a little kid who was in the bath and saw the roles in my stomach and go, look up now.

[SPEAKER_04]: Oh, you don't look at it, baby.

[SPEAKER_04]: Come on, but here's a little funny story.

[SPEAKER_04]: There was, I was young.

[SPEAKER_04]: Because I've always loved food.

[SPEAKER_04]: My grandmother called me the bottomless pit.

[SPEAKER_04]: But anyway, I wanted to donut.

[SPEAKER_04]: And my mother was like, no, you can't have a donut.

[SPEAKER_04]: And I think I was like three years old.

[SPEAKER_04]: And I'm screaming and I'm pissed.

[SPEAKER_04]: And I want the donut.

[SPEAKER_04]: And I'm throwing a fucking stick.

[SPEAKER_04]: And I'm sitting on the toilet.

[SPEAKER_04]: I don't know why but I was and my mom and I like I'm screaming in the toilet And I flushed it and then like I fell into the toilet and I thought I was gonna be flushed away Yeah, right down the whole thing panicking and my mom was just laughing For me the jerk child Don't know Oh my god, I loved my food.

[SPEAKER_04]: I still do [SPEAKER_01]: But I do so to I I can't wait work on I'm going to breakfast after this with Mike with my little girls and we are going to I'm going to get the crispy home fries and have like the way they do them with I'm not a big fan of raw scallions, but they do that they fry the scallions in with the potatoes and then they saltly put whatever kind of seasonings on them and they're and then they put a dollop of sour cream on my god.

[SPEAKER_01]: Mama Scott Bay on Broadway and 40th and Oakland.

[SPEAKER_01]: It's an institution.

[SPEAKER_01]: The woman that has been delicious.

[SPEAKER_01]: One of my dear friends worked there when she first moved to Oakland.

[SPEAKER_01]: She was in her late teens or early 20s maybe and she was kind of, yeah, she's part of that punk rock.

[SPEAKER_01]: Gilman that famous scene with Green Day and stuff and she used to work in there and they used to come in for breakfast all the time.

[SPEAKER_01]: You know, Oakland worked as as my as my mayor, Barbara Lee, who used to be my Congress member for 27 years.

[SPEAKER_01]: She always she came in here and she just got she started getting shit done in the town and Oakland is on the move.

[SPEAKER_01]: That's what she always says.

[SPEAKER_01]: I was at her I was at her holiday party.

[SPEAKER_01]: She had like a holiday party fundraiser on Friday night.

[SPEAKER_01]: And, you know, I'm active in the campaign, I always, and she's, you know, just about to run for reelection for a full-term as mayor of Oakland.

[SPEAKER_01]: And this is, this is how much people love Barbara Lee.

[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.

[SPEAKER_01]: This is why Oakland is on the move.

[SPEAKER_01]: So, [SPEAKER_01]: We're just, you know, we want to get people into the room, we're trying to raise funds for her office holder account so that she can give back to the community and like, you know, one of the things she did recently was after the snap benefits were cut, she used the money from her office holder account to feed people in town, you know, people who's not benefits were going by and, you know, she puts on these.

[SPEAKER_01]: lunch, you know, lunch is in breakfast for kids at some of the public schools who want to find an opportunity in maybe the trades or want to get into Laney College, the community college right here in town.

[SPEAKER_01]: And so she's just this, that's just, that's just two things that she did, you know, before we had our coffee in the morning, you know what I mean?

[SPEAKER_01]: And so I was part of the program, like I usually do a big ask at the end of whatever fundraiser we have for the for the mayor or the and so we're we're here and the people are starting to roll in and it was at this task restaurant called Lucy blue if you're ever in Oakland it's an uptown it's amazing.

[SPEAKER_01]: And so we're there and I'm in the upstairs like this private area and I look down and there's Barbara having dinner.

[SPEAKER_01]: before the event gets started and who's she having dinner with?

[SPEAKER_01]: Well, Senator Adam Schiff.

[SPEAKER_01]: who was her colleague at in the U.S.

House of Representatives and who she ran against, percent it, but Barbara, she don't hold any judges, right?

[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, he beat her, parents were, but Adam Schiff comes to Oakland to work with the new Congresswoman, Latifa Simon, to do a housing bill to get low-income people and unhoused people into freaking housing.

[SPEAKER_01]: Wow.

[SPEAKER_01]: So, Schiff's there.

[SPEAKER_01]: And I go, I'm going to say hi to Adam Sha.

[SPEAKER_01]: And so I go down and I, you know, I walk up Barbara is my queen.

[SPEAKER_01]: We have a model in our house that says, what does Barbara need.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, like the theory of being right.

[SPEAKER_01]: She, because she does, she'll say to us, what do you need every time.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_01]: And so we got to give it back to her anyway.

[SPEAKER_01]: So I talked to Shev, he, you know, I told him about the, she's such a barba goes staffs are really big advocate and the reprojustus space and blah, blah, and I said, well, and Barbara has been our, our most vigorous.

[SPEAKER_01]: proponent, ally, advocate, blah, blah, blah, we named a health center after her.

[SPEAKER_01]: The largest health center in the country, plant parent at all center, and Adam shift goes, well, you know, I love plant parenthood, but my favorite health center is the one that's named after Barbara Lee.

[SPEAKER_01]: And he showed up to do this housing thing with her.

[SPEAKER_01]: And then he asked her, she goes, I gotta go to an event out of my not a hearing, and he goes, [SPEAKER_01]: Well, can I come?

[SPEAKER_01]: Wow.

[SPEAKER_01]: So we showed up in his like in his puffer jacket that said Senator Adam Schiff on it.

[SPEAKER_01]: He's in the room talking about how everybody loves Barbara.

[SPEAKER_01]: Wow.

[SPEAKER_01]: And we and and we and and whatever she needs.

[SPEAKER_01]: We want to support her at the federal level.

[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, I don't how did I get on that tip.

[SPEAKER_01]: I don't even know, but it was so exciting and you're such a political junkie, but like this is what.

[SPEAKER_01]: I guess maybe I just want people to know, like we got the best mother fuckers on our side.

[SPEAKER_01]: We got, and when you have leaders like Adam, shift and Latifa, Simon and Barberley, and that's just California.

[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, let's not forget Alex Padilla.

[SPEAKER_01]: and Gavin Newsson.

[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_01]: And I don't, I don't want anybody talking shit about Gavin Newsson.

[SPEAKER_01]: I do want to talk about purity and democratic politics.

[SPEAKER_01]: Well, maybe we can maybe we can segue to that.

[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, because I do have some little thing about this.

[SPEAKER_01]: But my point is we, we show up.

[SPEAKER_01]: We do the work.

[SPEAKER_01]: You know, we do it in our own ways.

[SPEAKER_01]: Whatever that looks like to anybody who might be listening right now.

[SPEAKER_01]: You know, like I like to get in it.

[SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[SPEAKER_01]: but some of us don't want to get on the phone.

[SPEAKER_01]: We don't want to stand up and take the mic, but we can make a contribution to the, you know, it's not what you give.

[SPEAKER_01]: It's that you give kind of mentality.

[SPEAKER_01]: You can write postcards.

[SPEAKER_01]: There are ways because it's going to take every single one of us.

[SPEAKER_01]: to combat this plague that is whatever you want to call that public and party right now, right?

[SPEAKER_01]: Fascist, fascism, these fascists, these fascists racist pigs, you know, and I don't want to say, I mean, I hesitate to say pig because you know, but they're not, I don't know what else to say.

[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know what else to say.

[SPEAKER_01]: Christiana Mampor was doing a podcast with someone recently.

[SPEAKER_01]: I can't remember, because I was just fixated on her.

[SPEAKER_01]: And she said, you know, if I had been in that pool and he said that to me, I would have said, I'm leaving now.

[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_01]: And I encourage all of you to leave with me.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I made it because they said nothing.

[SPEAKER_01]: They said nothing and no men in the room, no doubt.

[SPEAKER_01]: Um, I would never succeed in life because I would fight like I would have flipped a table in there honestly and then I'd be fired.

[SPEAKER_01]: So like, I wouldn't be in that pool.

[SPEAKER_01]: But like where are the employers?

[SPEAKER_01]: Why I didn't, why didn't Bloomberg come out and say right absolutely unacceptable.

[SPEAKER_04]: You know, because it was a woman because it was a woman and we still live in a patriarchy.

[SPEAKER_04]: God damn son of a bitch.

[SPEAKER_04]: I think we're I think we're moving away.

[SPEAKER_04]: I think.

[SPEAKER_04]: I don't think we're going to be out of the patriarchy any time soon, but I think we are more moving in a direct, we're going to be moving in a direction because of what's happening now.

[SPEAKER_04]: This is the pendulum.

[SPEAKER_04]: I think the pendulum, regardless of the fact that Biden was president in the middle of all of this, the pendulum was still on the side of fascism, because of Fox news, because of all the shit that he was saying, and [SPEAKER_04]: The fact that he was even alive because he is a charismatic fascist leader, even though he's falling apart in front of our fucking race.

[SPEAKER_04]: Right.

[SPEAKER_04]: But, you know, I think now that there are no guardrails, everybody's kind of waking up, not everybody, but a lot of people at this point are waking up to it.

[SPEAKER_04]: And of course, there's always going to be a core group that's going to support him or support fascists.

[SPEAKER_04]: But more and more people, [SPEAKER_04]: are like wait a minute, you know, I don't like the shit, groceries are too expensive.

[SPEAKER_04]: I'm soon enough they're gonna not be able to afford health care.

[SPEAKER_04]: And, you know, he's falling asleep every five seconds.

[SPEAKER_04]: But you know what, I just want to hear this in here about Gavin Newsom because, yeah, and I said this for a good start.

[SPEAKER_04]: Bring it on.

[SPEAKER_04]: I am not interested in him being our president.

[SPEAKER_04]: However, however, if he is the nominee, [SPEAKER_04]: He gets my vote period.

[SPEAKER_04]: Oh, man.

[SPEAKER_04]: It's like I talked to Brian Keram this week.

[SPEAKER_04]: He's like the shoe that I threw away last week I would vote for so yeah, I don't care who it is.

[SPEAKER_04]: I don't know.

[SPEAKER_04]: I don't care.

[SPEAKER_04]: I do care But I mean it's like whoever it is.

[SPEAKER_04]: That's who's got my vote, but then when we get into preference There's a fee I didn't want him to be president before [SPEAKER_04]: Or, I'd say, let's say during, I think he's doing a fan-fucking-tastic job right now of not only trolling Trump, I think that diminishes what he's doing.

[SPEAKER_04]: He is fighting fascism in the proper way.

[SPEAKER_04]: He's doing it with humor, he's treating them like they're ridiculous, mocking them, and here you've got this attractive, fit, full-headed, full-hair, everything that Trump isn't.

[SPEAKER_04]: going after him and I think it's great but there there's always been something about him that I haven't loved right and it doesn't matter because again I'm gonna vote for the Democrat if he's the leader, but I think [SPEAKER_04]: Like, you know, just in my own little bubble of how I see politics, I think right now, and I really was realizing this when I was talking to Brian Keram.

[SPEAKER_04]: I think Mark Kelly is somebody that might be able to capture the nature because the thing about and on to something.

[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, and it didn't occur to me.

[SPEAKER_04]: I mean, I was seeing him.

[SPEAKER_04]: But then Brian and I were talking about I'm like, you know what?

[SPEAKER_04]: This might be the guy.

[SPEAKER_04]: And because of the way he's standing up to Trump, he's a fucking astronaut, he's married to Gabby Gifford's.

[SPEAKER_04]: And please, you know of, yes.

[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, and the thing is, if he has some centrist views, right, that maybe you don't agree with.

[SPEAKER_04]: he's not writing fucking legislation he's not going to veto progressive legislation so he's going to be for it right he's going to be a democratic president who's pro-democracy so maybe he wouldn't you know take on certain things like for instance Barack Obama took on the health care system i think he would too but um...

there might be some [SPEAKER_04]: you know, like you were saying the pet issues and stuff that he may not take on.

[SPEAKER_04]: Fine.

[SPEAKER_04]: But he's not going to be writing laws.

[SPEAKER_04]: Presidents don't write the laws.

[SPEAKER_04]: So, you know, that's why wouldn't be so overly concerned if Gavin Newsom was president.

[SPEAKER_04]: He's not, he's not my first choice, but somewhat.

[SPEAKER_04]: There's a lot of people.

[SPEAKER_04]: Joe Biden wasn't my first choice.

[SPEAKER_04]: But you know it's so it's like who cares, but yeah, I mean whoever it's going to be but I think Mark Kelly and I said this on Bob show and I know it's not a popular opinion But I don't care.

[SPEAKER_04]: I think this is realistic Mark Kelly aside from being an astronaut on that he is a white older man and right now in our current situation [SPEAKER_04]: We are a very divided country that's extremely racist and, you know, of course there's a whole bunch of people we saw the people that voted for Hillary and more people voted for Hillary than Donald.

[SPEAKER_04]: We saw what happened with Kamala and of course there's always that group of people are like, you know, it was stolen.

[SPEAKER_04]: Maybe it was whatever doesn't matter.

[SPEAKER_04]: It hurt numbers were not enough.

[SPEAKER_04]: to overcome whatever they might have done and like Joe Biden's numbers I know they cheated in 2020 but he had too many people voting for him and so I would rather if it were me making these decisions let's go for the white guy in the top of the ticket not because women can't handle it women can do great wonderful jobs we've seen them running other countries very well and putting [SPEAKER_04]: But our voters right now mixed with the electoral college and I want to say the electoral college, because that's the problem.

[SPEAKER_04]: They can manipulate things with the electoral college.

[SPEAKER_04]: So I just would love to see, and then, okay, so I'm just going to throw this out to you and see what you feel, what your first reaction to this.

[SPEAKER_04]: Let's say the ticket, just for Shitsing Giggles, was Mark Kelly at the top and Pete Buttigieg's VP.

[SPEAKER_04]: What would you think of that?

[SPEAKER_01]: Well, okay, I don't want to be a web blanket, but listen up.

[SPEAKER_04]: But what do you think?

[SPEAKER_01]: I, you know, Brian Keram is a lot more clean than I am.

[SPEAKER_01]: He said he'd go for a shooty through a way.

[SPEAKER_01]: I vote for an ass pimple.

[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, me too.

[SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm saying?

[SPEAKER_01]: I vote for a clean, extra little boogers.

[SPEAKER_00]: If it had a d by it.

[SPEAKER_01]: Like, I mean, let me just be who I am.

[SPEAKER_01]: And that's mild, okay, friends and neighbors.

[SPEAKER_01]: I think, you know, to your earlier point about, you know, he's an older white man.

[SPEAKER_01]: That's all, you know, you had me at an older white man, right?

[SPEAKER_01]: Because that's the world that we live in.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_01]: Because we don't elect women.

[SPEAKER_01]: We don't elect any more people of color.

[SPEAKER_01]: We don't elect gay men.

[SPEAKER_01]: Well, we did elect Barack Obama twice.

[SPEAKER_01]: We did, but we don't, that's why I said any more.

[SPEAKER_01]: That's what, that's what, that's what, that's what.

[SPEAKER_01]: So you think that raises something back on the rails?

[SPEAKER_04]: So you think he would be a liability because of his sexuality.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and I think he'd be the best one because of who he is, right?

[SPEAKER_01]: I think he'd be my top choice.

[SPEAKER_04]: But, okay, wait, wait, wait.

[SPEAKER_04]: What about the fact that he has consistently gone to Fox News?

[SPEAKER_04]: So he has a presence over there, and he never loses his temper, and he's always fucking like, he's a man, and he's, [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, but they're he's that he's the reasonable one there the freaks of nature with no, you know, they, those viewers and even those hosts, you know, the hosts, we all know they don't believe anything that they say unless it's like your paychecks over, then of course they mean it, but they, you know, these these people are grifting.

[SPEAKER_01]: They're the most disingenuous, of course, for themselves people and their accolites or their, you know, their followers are done.

[SPEAKER_04]: But I mean, you think that, but do you think that, okay, so like there's the, I know magas splitting.

[SPEAKER_04]: There's, there's definitely like a little civil war going on within the Republican party.

[SPEAKER_04]: You got the maga faction.

[SPEAKER_01]: She stayed long enough to get her pension though, right?

[SPEAKER_04]: Of course she did, of course she did.

[SPEAKER_04]: But you know, I think it was Brian Karam, and he pointed out, if it wasn't him, it was somebody pointing out in her resignation letter.

[SPEAKER_04]: There were dog whistles to Kewanon, basically the Emperor has no close.

[SPEAKER_04]: So we've got Nick Fuentes, who is a lightsopremist, and he's, you know, he's got a lot of...

[SPEAKER_04]: Fair, I don't know what you would call it.

[SPEAKER_01]: It's a lot of white supremacist.

[SPEAKER_01]: Isn't that bad?

[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, there you go.

[SPEAKER_04]: Jesus God.

[SPEAKER_01]: I know that's just going to get together.

[SPEAKER_04]: Well, and then Candace Owens, you know, she's also part of it.

[SPEAKER_04]: So this is the new party that is kind of, it's like the new faction of maggots splitting off.

[SPEAKER_04]: And [SPEAKER_04]: So the whole point here is that, yeah, there's going that I know some of these people voted for Joe Biden, right, maybe some of the mega who initially voted for Donald Trump in 2020 changed over to Joe Biden, because he's another white man, so I'll just trust him.

[SPEAKER_04]: we don't okay like what I'm trying to say here is do we need that vote because the majority I think what we're going to see in 2026 providing I'm correct is a massive blue wave bigger than what we saw in 2018 because there are no guardrails and if we're you know and then there's just gonna you know we can probably [SPEAKER_04]: they're still going to be awful no matter you know i mean if trump's president or jd is president or whoever they're going to be awful but if if they're clipped because you know we won the midterms and and maybe sell big that we got senate and the house um we it we could make it harder for them to do but you know they just break the law and they do whatever they want anyway so i think that when we come around to time to vote [SPEAKER_04]: when you take a look like if if if Pete were in the number two position, do we need the mega the hardcore Republicans on this?

[SPEAKER_04]: Do you think that matters?

[SPEAKER_04]: And so therefore if there were another white man or somebody, I mean Joe Biden's, okay, and then there's also this.

[SPEAKER_04]: Joe Biden won with a black woman.

[SPEAKER_04]: So she was not, you know, she was not their main focus.

[SPEAKER_04]: Like, so would people to judge dampen Mark Kelly because she didn't dampen Biden?

[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know.

[SPEAKER_01]: I feel like there's a hierarchy in the racism, you know, the world.

[SPEAKER_01]: I agree with you.

[SPEAKER_01]: And I think that a gay man, you know, [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know.

[SPEAKER_01]: I just don't trust the rest of the, I know what you mean.

[SPEAKER_01]: And I've got PTSD you know, after all this time, we've been through too much.

[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not, you know, I'm still not over Hillary.

[SPEAKER_01]: I'm still not over Hillary 10 years later.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I know.

[SPEAKER_01]: I'm just not.

[SPEAKER_01]: And, you know, I'm not over, you know, you look walk around in the regular world and try to be a woman of color or an LGBTQ human being.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I [SPEAKER_00]: Immigrants, we hit the job done.

[SPEAKER_00]: Gaze, we hit the fucking job done.

[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, but it's gonna be a VP that we can count on as it gonna be another white says mail.

[SPEAKER_04]: Is that what we're looking for?

[SPEAKER_04]: That's what I, you know, I don't want that.

[SPEAKER_01]: Well, don't want that.

[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want it.

[SPEAKER_01]: I'm sorry.

[SPEAKER_01]: I'm trying to keep my voice down.

[SPEAKER_01]: We've got people up in this house that are still asleep, but I'm walking, you know, yes, I want the best most capable person.

[SPEAKER_01]: But when do we open it up?

[SPEAKER_01]: I listen to Joy Reed talk about DEI in affirmative action and she's like, She didn't say bitch, but I'm gonna add it because it makes me feel better.

[SPEAKER_01]: She's like, if Harvard didn't bring my brilliant ass in.

[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, it had just been another legacy white guy who had rich parents with a building with their name on it, and I'm tired of that too, but like, how do we get there?

[SPEAKER_01]: How are we getting there?

[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, I'll tell you how we get there.

[SPEAKER_01]: back to.

[SPEAKER_01]: We all have to make our voices heard.

[SPEAKER_01]: We have to encourage the marginalized human beings in this, you know, disabled folks, fucking LGBT folks, women, women of color, people of color to step up and use their voices.

[SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to tell you, I want to tell you a very exciting story.

[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I work in a world where we serve the marginalized community and the people who have the very least, you know who those people are, they're all the people I just named.

[SPEAKER_01]: They're queer, they're women, they're immigrants, they're, they're people of color, like let me just tell you this country out to help those people.

[SPEAKER_01]: So we have to rely on the philanthropy of folks who have money, right?

[SPEAKER_01]: And people who are willing to show up every day and do the jobs to try to raise that money to provide the healthcare or whatever the education would.

[SPEAKER_01]: Very fucked up racist society like that was before Trump showed us.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, okay.

[SPEAKER_01]: All right, so let's be real on that tip But we got a step up.

[SPEAKER_01]: We got a use our voices.

[SPEAKER_01]: We got to speak out even if we're One of those marginalized people [SPEAKER_01]: You've got to sometimes if you can, if you have a voice use it and if you have and if you don't have a voice know that there are people out there who will put it all on the line like my loud ass right you know what I'm saying like I don't you know I don't I'm not going to sit back and be like yes abuse me take advantage of me [SPEAKER_01]: You know, make that journey in life.

[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.

[SPEAKER_01]: So, that's what we do.

[SPEAKER_01]: We speak up.

[SPEAKER_01]: And if we have the privilege and we aren't, you know, look, if you've got the, you're, you're just a, you know, a badass white person who believes what we all believe and do it and speak out for these four folks who don't have the voices.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, that's the most important thing.

[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, and we do that and then we support candidates not out of purity like, you know, Hallie Berry's mad at Gavin Newsom because he didn't put the men up.

[SPEAKER_01]: Line item into the budget.

[SPEAKER_01]: Well, it's for next year, but she goes out and it's like, if you're going to fuck with people and you're going to do that.

[SPEAKER_01]: That is division within a party and we can't afford it.

[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not saying be quiet, but let's do our research.

[SPEAKER_01]: Let's do our research before we start taking people down and let's really think about how I remember hearing Valerie Jarrett say this one time at a she was talking about the Affordable Care Act.

[SPEAKER_01]: And you know that the haters were saying well it's only you know 20 million she goes that's 26 million people who have health care that didn't before progress is incremental.

[SPEAKER_04]: But that's what we realized.

[SPEAKER_04]: It's like in order to really see progress.

[SPEAKER_04]: We are working with a racist country.

[SPEAKER_04]: So we're not just going to get it in five minutes.

[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, and it's racist right now in 2025.

[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, yeah, this racist when my dad was fucking, you know, when my mom and dad were in the streets during a civil rights movement.

[SPEAKER_01]: And it was bad in, you know, 1983.

[SPEAKER_01]: when kids were saying, oh, I can't go to the prom with you because you're a beiner.

[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, that's real.

[SPEAKER_01]: And it's, and it's real in 20 to 25.

[SPEAKER_01]: But yes, okay, it's worse.

[SPEAKER_04]: It's gotten worse.

[SPEAKER_04]: I mean, the thing is, this is always been there.

[SPEAKER_04]: But that band, it's not a bandaid, but you know what I mean?

[SPEAKER_04]: It's been ripped off by Donald.

[SPEAKER_04]: And it's not just, it's not just him because the Tea Party was already going there.

[SPEAKER_04]: I mean, the horrible things they were doing when Barack Obama.

[SPEAKER_04]: I remember there was this one guy.

[SPEAKER_04]: who had a, like a watermelon, a watermelon hanging from a tree and, you know, he was wearing a, he put a black jacket over.

[SPEAKER_04]: But it was as if they hung, oh my God.

[SPEAKER_04]: And it was endless, right?

[SPEAKER_04]: It was just endless fucking racist shit coming.

[SPEAKER_04]: So I think that that's one thing about the people to judge thing, even though he would be vice president and I'm not sure how that would go.

[SPEAKER_04]: the idea.

[SPEAKER_02]: Amazing.

[SPEAKER_04]: What I'm saying would be amazing, but what I'm saying is, I don't know what it hinder.

[SPEAKER_04]: If he were the VP from Mark Kelly, what it hinder Mark Kelly is what I mean.

[SPEAKER_04]: And then if he were to be ever become president, does the same thing happen that happened to Obama, because obviously Obama was, you know, reelected, and he, both times he had really good numbers, but, but, [SPEAKER_01]: But we lost that.

[SPEAKER_01]: The back last.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, the backlash was insane.

[SPEAKER_04]: The backlash against a black president resulted in Donald Trump.

[SPEAKER_04]: And I feel, and yes, there was cheating and the country voted for Hillary, but there was enough racism to let the cheating, you know, it made it succeed.

[SPEAKER_04]: Because there was enough racism.

[SPEAKER_04]: So I feel like, you know, the idea here is what happens to, you know, [SPEAKER_04]: When are we going to be a people that can accept a black woman, a gay man, somebody who's from another country, a natural citizen, but from a, you know, originally from another, when are we going to do that, I don't know why it's going to be a while and it and you know, I just want to reiterate and be very clear here, you and I know that people of color women all of it, all of these groups of people that we're talking about.

[SPEAKER_04]: It could do just a fan-fucking-castic job.

[SPEAKER_04]: It's not about them.

[SPEAKER_04]: It's about the racism that keeps them from it.

[SPEAKER_04]: So I just bet it's right.

[SPEAKER_04]: I don't want to be clear.

[SPEAKER_04]: And I want to ask you this question because last year at this time, I was really not in a good way.

[SPEAKER_04]: And part of it was because I about a large part of it was because I was terrified my mother was going to leave the country.

[SPEAKER_04]: This election was just such a fucking smack in our faces and you know, she's like, I'm leaving I'm going to Portugal and I'm like, ah, so obviously she's not going to Portugal and thank God I'm so grateful I have my mommy, but you know, there's still the whole are we gonna survive this shit and so we were at a place last December Where we were like, we don't know what's gonna happen.

[SPEAKER_04]: Now we're a year into it.

[SPEAKER_04]: What do your thoughts?

[SPEAKER_04]: Like, where do you think this goes?

[SPEAKER_04]: We're from our trajectory today, like democracy.

[SPEAKER_01]: Democracy, I think, okay, I'm going to tell you something that is really exciting to me.

[SPEAKER_01]: I think that [SPEAKER_01]: You know, I live in a bubble.

[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.

[SPEAKER_01]: I really do live in a bubble.

[SPEAKER_01]: I'm in Oakland, California.

[SPEAKER_01]: All right.

[SPEAKER_01]: Like, so we're all super like in it to win it, right?

[SPEAKER_01]: I'm excited about democracy.

[SPEAKER_01]: I think we're going to save it.

[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, does that sound crazy to you?

[SPEAKER_01]: No, I think we will too.

[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, because I got kids who my daughter's turning 18 in February, so she gets to vote in 2026.

[SPEAKER_01]: Oh yeah, wait, my son who lives in New, he goes to school in New York and he's graduating in May, and he goes mom.

[SPEAKER_01]: I really want a vote for Mom Donnie and I said you're going to have to change a residence to New York.

[SPEAKER_01]: And he goes, no, no, no, he goes, can't I vote in both states?

[SPEAKER_01]: I know.

[SPEAKER_01]: So that's voter fraud, babe.

[SPEAKER_01]: He goes, well, I don't want to give up my California voting status.

[SPEAKER_01]: Because he likes voting for Barbara Lee.

[SPEAKER_01]: He likes voting for, you know, Oh, it's by the, he likes voting.

[SPEAKER_01]: You know, all the things, Latifa Simon.

[SPEAKER_01]: So that excites me because young people [SPEAKER_01]: are my Mike, well, I don't even know.

[SPEAKER_01]: I think my kids are Gen Z.

I'm not 100% sure, but whatever, they're that generation.

[SPEAKER_01]: There's 21 and almost 18.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, then Judges.

[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.

[SPEAKER_01]: So they're very concerned about their future and they're seeing old bitches like me and raise them.

[SPEAKER_01]: So they know like, okay, my mom and dad are actually like me.

[SPEAKER_01]: My Mom and Dad are really in this that we talk about it with them and thank God for my Mom and Dad who told me This is a pretty good.

[SPEAKER_01]: You better get your act together and look You know research your candidates research your issues because you're not You need your vote.

[SPEAKER_01]: You have to cast your vote.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that's the only way.

[SPEAKER_01]: Now that was in 1984 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, and here we are.

[SPEAKER_01]: So it's an experiment.

[SPEAKER_01]: We've had some good years.

[SPEAKER_01]: We've had some wins, but we've always had this underlying [SPEAKER_01]: um, just this theme that kind of drives us and it's the racism, right?

[SPEAKER_01]: So they're now our more mixed race people.

[SPEAKER_01]: My kids or my kids are proud Latinos.

[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.

[SPEAKER_01]: Um, they are, this is, this is where it's changing.

[SPEAKER_01]: So let's, let's, the, the, the, the experiment, the democracy, all the shit that we're doing.

[SPEAKER_01]: We got these kids coming up, and none of them supporting the racism, the fucking genocide.

[SPEAKER_01]: You know, let's take all of the social services and the safety net stuff out of the picture so that people suffer worse.

[SPEAKER_01]: They don't want to see ice in their communities.

[SPEAKER_01]: these are their friends parents and their friends, you know, this could be me.

[SPEAKER_01]: Like if I move off too hard, you know, like my brother and I used to joke about it, but it's like we're on that first bus over the border.

[SPEAKER_01]: But it's not funny, like because it's real.

[SPEAKER_01]: It's real now, you know what I mean?

[SPEAKER_01]: Like, okay.

[SPEAKER_01]: So, and then we have people who are just getting like, I've got a girlfriend.

[SPEAKER_01]: who I work with at Planned Parenthood and she's our chief public affairs officer.

[SPEAKER_01]: She's a 33-year-old black woman raised in Detroit, Michigan, but has been out here doing her whole career and it's been public service for the last, you know, 10 years in this region.

[SPEAKER_01]: She lives in Sacramento.

[SPEAKER_01]: When Prop 50 passed new districts were drawn and she's running in a new district as a democratic candidate for the United States Congress.

[SPEAKER_01]: Her name is Lauren Babb Tomlinson, just that the endorsement of the Congressional Black Caucus.

[SPEAKER_01]: uh...

leaders we deserve uh...

vote mama which is a national pack my pack the voter protection project we are in it to win it with her this is how the change starts to happen and you've got you you've heard of my girlfriend Heather who she ran the and her jans campaign i don't you remember we talked to her [SPEAKER_01]: ages ago, she's the executive director of VPP.

[SPEAKER_01]: This woman is in her car all over the region, flying here, flying.

[SPEAKER_01]: She is, she gives a shit so much about the future of democracy, which is all based in, you know, voting rights and, you know, [SPEAKER_01]: There are so many people that we haven't heard of who are all in on democracy that I have the faith.

[SPEAKER_01]: Did that kind of answer the question?

[SPEAKER_04]: No, it did.

[SPEAKER_04]: And you know what?

[SPEAKER_04]: I'm going to add to it because I know you've got to go to breakfast.

[SPEAKER_04]: But I'll add to it and then I'm going to let you go.

[SPEAKER_04]: But I think that Greg Oliar did an article, a sub-stack.

[SPEAKER_04]: I don't know several months ago.

[SPEAKER_04]: to Nazi Germany and he was saying some real key differences are that in Nazi Germany at the beginning of Hitler's run, he didn't have resistance from anyone.

[SPEAKER_04]: We've got resistance from people, from the voters.

[SPEAKER_04]: We've got resistance from at least a portion of our government and we've got resistance with some.

[SPEAKER_04]: Like Costco and Netflix, you know, some of them capitulated and that was upsetting.

[SPEAKER_04]: But we're seeing a certain amount of resistance that Nazi Germany never experienced, right?

[SPEAKER_04]: It was kind of like people were either too afraid or they were all in.

[SPEAKER_04]: So we do have a strong resistance and then after that second no kings rally, people were like, wait a minute, we've got some fucking steam here.

[SPEAKER_04]: And then we have this amazing, you know, Tuesday where we see Mom Donnie win in New York and then we see Abigail Spamberger and all these special elections granted the Tennessee election, um, didn't go, now Brian Keram and I differ on this because he was kind of like, you know, he was really going after Democrats, which I agree with basically what he's saying as far as Democrats need to message better.

[SPEAKER_04]: And this is, we've just heard this forever, right?

[SPEAKER_04]: Because it's true.

[SPEAKER_04]: Democrats do need to message better.

[SPEAKER_04]: When you look at how Republicans message, they have a very strong cohesive message.

[SPEAKER_04]: It's easier for them because they use fear, and it's just very easy.

[SPEAKER_04]: It's much more difficult for Democrats to get that message that it's going to appeal to all the different, [SPEAKER_04]: factions of our party.

[SPEAKER_04]: But I still think it could be improved upon.

[SPEAKER_04]: I think it should always be something we, you know, the Democratic Party should, and it's not always the party that comes up with a messaging.

[SPEAKER_04]: It's usually the strategist.

[SPEAKER_04]: So we need some really strong strategists.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_04]: Look at fucking Gavin Newsom's team.

[SPEAKER_04]: Take a cue from them.

[SPEAKER_04]: They know 26 by the way.

[SPEAKER_01]: Exactly.

[SPEAKER_01]: Like, let's start paying attention to what those folks have to say.

[SPEAKER_04]: Right.

[SPEAKER_04]: And unfortunately, yes, mocking does matter in a case of fascists, because one of the ways you undo fascism is mocking.

[SPEAKER_04]: And so, you know, I don't want to discount that and say, oh, they're just nanny, nanny, booboing him.

[SPEAKER_04]: No, this is a real strategy.

[SPEAKER_04]: And it misses him off.

[SPEAKER_04]: So, and we want him pissed off.

[SPEAKER_04]: And we want them, we want people to, your him to know that we're pissed off.

[SPEAKER_04]: So, anyway.

[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_01]: I, I, I, I couldn't agree more.

[SPEAKER_01]: And [SPEAKER_01]: I also think one of the things that we need to figure out like we know as a democratic party where against right and sometimes we're against shit that happens within our own party.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_01]: Which I, and of course, if there's corruption or, you know, further marginalization of people, yeah, you got to call that shit.

[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.

[SPEAKER_01]: But I want to find out, what do we stand for?

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, what's our line?

[SPEAKER_04]: Well, that's also Brian was basically saying that one of the things that he says is Democrats have a tendency to talk down to voters where they tell you mega is bad, mega is bad, which obviously we know it is.

[SPEAKER_04]: Um, but he's like, I want to hear, you know, what they're going to do, what are their solutions?

[SPEAKER_04]: How are they going to do it?

[SPEAKER_04]: I do think Democrats do that.

[SPEAKER_04]: I think they could be stronger.

[SPEAKER_04]: You know, I'm not going to be overly critical of Democrats because, you know, I, I look at everything that they've done and nobody's perfect.

[SPEAKER_04]: There is corruption on both sides, but to the degree, I mean, Democrats just have some corruption.

[SPEAKER_04]: Republicans are corruption, right?

[SPEAKER_04]: There's always going to be corruption, no matter what the fuck is going on.

[SPEAKER_04]: If you have the most progressive party in the world, there's going to be corruption because that's politics.

[SPEAKER_04]: So you can't be so fucking naive to think that that's never going to happen.

[SPEAKER_04]: But regardless, yes, Democrats are the ones that have the needs of the nation, you know, and that's their priority.

[SPEAKER_04]: And there's some really great Democrats.

[SPEAKER_04]: There's some really weak Democrats.

[SPEAKER_04]: But in the end, you know, we've all we got.

[SPEAKER_04]: But I think that we should always be improving, right?

[SPEAKER_04]: Isn't that a fucking point?

[SPEAKER_04]: Isn't that what they do in fucking football?

[SPEAKER_04]: They go back and they look at their plays and they go, okay, we fucked up here and this was really good and let's keep this and let's lose that, that's how we need to look at it.

[SPEAKER_04]: Instead of, I don't want to see these people ringing their fucking, you know, [SPEAKER_04]: undergarments and, you know, and clutching their pearls and going, don't produce those Democrats.

[SPEAKER_04]: No, we can do both.

[SPEAKER_04]: We can be critical in a loving way because fascists are the ones we're fighting, but we want our leaders to fight harder.

[SPEAKER_04]: So we can say that and it doesn't mean we're attacking them.

[SPEAKER_04]: It's there's a difference.

[SPEAKER_04]: Attacking is, yeah, I think, you know, when you say, don't vote for this person.

[SPEAKER_04]: don't vote for Gavin Newsom because he did a thing I don't like.

[SPEAKER_04]: That's not what I'm talking about.

[SPEAKER_04]: I'm not going to ever tell anybody not to vote for the Democrat.

[SPEAKER_04]: But I'm going to tell the Democrat, hey, could you step up your game a little?

[SPEAKER_04]: Because the fucking fascist are never going to stop.

[SPEAKER_01]: Right.

[SPEAKER_01]: Right.

[SPEAKER_01]: And we need more.

[SPEAKER_01]: We need more.

[SPEAKER_01]: We need more.

[SPEAKER_01]: We look to you for more.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_01]: And that's right.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_01]: That's right.

[SPEAKER_04]: So anyway, yeah, I mean, and it's like, I love the Democratic Party.

[SPEAKER_04]: I love the Democratic principles.

[SPEAKER_04]: There are always going to be players in that party who I do not like.

[SPEAKER_04]: I do not trust or whatever.

[SPEAKER_04]: But in the end, I am a faithful and loyal pro-democracy Democrat.

[SPEAKER_04]: And that's just...

[SPEAKER_04]: That's how it's going to be.

[SPEAKER_04]: Same.

[SPEAKER_00]: Same.

[SPEAKER_00]: Same.

[SPEAKER_04]: Of course.

[SPEAKER_04]: We're both the same.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's why we love each other so much.

[SPEAKER_04]: Okay.

[SPEAKER_04]: I know you got to go eat your potatoes.

[SPEAKER_01]: Oh.

[SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to get that.

[SPEAKER_01]: I'm getting that sour cream.

[SPEAKER_04]: Please have a bite for me.

[SPEAKER_04]: I will.

[SPEAKER_04]: I'm going to bite for Kimberly.

[SPEAKER_01]: We're going to get some.

[SPEAKER_01]: We're going to get some fucking pancakes for the center of the table.

[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_01]: You know what I'm saying?

[SPEAKER_01]: But the bun, and then I might get the corn beef hash with that scoop of butter, just dripping down, bring it to me.

[SPEAKER_04]: Bring it out.

[SPEAKER_04]: Well, I'm gonna have my very healthy breakfast that is, you know, like my protein oatmeal with a whole whole bunch of blueberries.

[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, that sounds good too.

[SPEAKER_04]: It is good.

[SPEAKER_04]: It's yummy, so.

[SPEAKER_04]: All right, well, what, you know what, love you too.

[SPEAKER_04]: I love you too.

[SPEAKER_03]: Yes.

[SPEAKER_04]: Happy New Year.

[SPEAKER_04]: Happy Hanukkah.

[SPEAKER_04]: Happy Queues.

[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, all of it.

[SPEAKER_04]: I have fun.

[SPEAKER_04]: You know, I love talking to you.

[SPEAKER_04]: So we'll, we'll chat again in the new year.

[SPEAKER_01]: Don't worry about my performance.

[SPEAKER_01]: Anytime you know it.

[SPEAKER_01]: Anytime.

[SPEAKER_01]: All right.

[SPEAKER_03]: You take you so much.

[SPEAKER_03]: Love you.

[UNKNOWN]: Okay.