[SPEAKER_00]: Cheaters have read it.

[SPEAKER_00]: What dirty secrets are you hiding from your partner that you want to confess on the internet?

[SPEAKER_00]: Story one.

[SPEAKER_00]: I cheated on my husband and I don't feel bad.

[SPEAKER_00]: I am a 28-year-old female and work privately for a family with their disabled daughter.

[SPEAKER_00]: The mother retired at the start of the pandemic and the father who has a very important job began working from home.

[SPEAKER_00]: During that time, I became even closer to the family.

[SPEAKER_00]: Once everything started opening back up and the father had to return to work and travel again, we realized how close we had become over the past two years.

[SPEAKER_00]: When I messaged him to wish him a safe flight, as I normally did, our conversation just kept going.

[SPEAKER_00]: We talked about everything.

[SPEAKER_00]: At this point, we know just about everything about each other.

[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes I even know things before he tells his wife.

[SPEAKER_00]: It started as harmless texting.

[SPEAKER_00]: Then, he asked if I wanted anything from the mall he was at.

[SPEAKER_00]: I jokingly said Victoria's Secret and mentioned pajamas.

[SPEAKER_00]: He responded that he wasn't going in there for just pajamas, so I sent him a sports bra I liked in my size.

[SPEAKER_00]: He bought it and various other things.

[SPEAKER_00]: There was lots of texting and photos.

[SPEAKER_00]: He even gave me gift cards so I could buy new things.

[SPEAKER_00]: Always Victoria's Secret or Lulu Lemon, then the texting began.

[SPEAKER_00]: Then came the meetups.

[SPEAKER_00]: It was the first time I kissed him, and to be clear, I kissed him, not the other way around.

[SPEAKER_00]: The first kiss was just a peck, but when we were saying goodbye, it was full of passion.

[SPEAKER_00]: This became almost a weekly routine.

[SPEAKER_00]: Every Saturday while grocery shopping.

[SPEAKER_00]: We would meet at one store, do some shopping, take separate cars to another store, and then walk and shop until he finished everything he needed.

[SPEAKER_00]: I just got what I needed from the first store.

[SPEAKER_00]: He took two weeks off work this past summer and it was nice having him around again.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's when things started at the house.

[SPEAKER_00]: Little pecks away from the cameras in his office when I had to ask him something about his daughter or buy something.

[SPEAKER_00]: He worked long hours and one time he asked if I could help him in the basement.

[SPEAKER_00]: I said sure, went down to his workspace and everything was done.

[SPEAKER_00]: He just wanted to kiss me.

[SPEAKER_00]: I wanted more.

[SPEAKER_00]: It was the first time either of us had crossed that line.

[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't want to stop, so I did.

[SPEAKER_00]: It was a great two weeks.

[SPEAKER_00]: Then there was an event happening, and the mother was hesitant about going.

[SPEAKER_00]: They would have to spend the night in another city.

[SPEAKER_00]: I assured them it was okay.

[SPEAKER_00]: I would stay over and watch their daughter so they could go.

[SPEAKER_00]: They deserved it.

[SPEAKER_00]: They needed it, and they went.

[SPEAKER_00]: The next day the mother had to leave to pick something up, and I was upstairs packing my overnight bag when the father came in.

[SPEAKER_00]: He kissed me, I kissed him back, he pulled me over to the bed, and things escalated.

[SPEAKER_00]: He was home on various days since then, and in the mornings I would see him before he left for work.

[SPEAKER_00]: About two weeks ago, I grabbed a few things for them while I was out and was dropping them off at their house.

[SPEAKER_00]: The mother was out, the father arrived a few minutes after me.

[SPEAKER_00]: I put away the things I bought and helped put away his stuff.

[SPEAKER_00]: I then happily followed him downstairs, under some silly excuse.

[SPEAKER_00]: We were kissing, and then we realized there was a bed there, and while you can guess what happened.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't feel bad.

[SPEAKER_00]: The thing on my mind afterward was, when can we do it next?

[SPEAKER_00]: We went right back to normal immediately afterward.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not proud of it, but I'm also not regretful.

[SPEAKER_00]: story too.

[SPEAKER_00]: I can't stop thinking about the woman I cheated on my wife with.

[SPEAKER_00]: Background, my wife Michelle and I met in our senior year of college and have been together ever since.

[SPEAKER_00]: We've been married for five years.

[SPEAKER_00]: We both work and have a three year old daughter.

[SPEAKER_00]: If I had to describe our marriage, I'd say it's pretty good.

[SPEAKER_00]: We argue a bit more than we used to, and I'd like us to have a little more sex.

[SPEAKER_00]: But overall, I have no major complaints.

[SPEAKER_00]: A month ago I was out at a bar with some friends when I ran into an ex co-worker Sarah to describe Sarah, she's kind of your typical hot blonde type.

[SPEAKER_00]: Pretty, fun, bubbly, and nice.

[SPEAKER_00]: While we work together, I did have a little crush on her, but I never acted on it or said anything inappropriate.

[SPEAKER_00]: I made the mistake of telling my wife about this once, and she got very jealous.

[SPEAKER_00]: So I never mentioned Sarah again.

[SPEAKER_00]: To sum up the night, Sarah and I ended up hanging out after my friends' left.

[SPEAKER_00]: We had a great time, got a bit too drunk, and ended up doing it and sleeping together at her place.

[SPEAKER_00]: In the morning, we agreed that we should probably never contact each other again.

[SPEAKER_00]: I've never told my wife about the incident.

[SPEAKER_00]: I told her the reason I didn't come home was that I got too drunk and stayed the night at a motel because I didn't want to drive.

[SPEAKER_00]: She believed me, and we've never discussed it since.

[SPEAKER_00]: I have no intention of ever telling her, and I'll let this be a one-time mistake.

[SPEAKER_00]: now for the problem.

[SPEAKER_00]: I can't stop thinking about Sarah and that night.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not obsessed with her, but I often find myself thinking about being with her or hanging out with her again.

[SPEAKER_00]: Lately, I've started comparing my wife to her in my mind.

[SPEAKER_00]: Even during intimate moments, I start thinking about Sarah.

[SPEAKER_00]: How do I stop?

[SPEAKER_00]: I will not contact Sarah again, and I will not tell my wife, but this is starting to affect my ability to be happy with my wife.

[SPEAKER_00]: I love her, and I'm afraid that if I keep this up, it could end up damaging our relationship.

[SPEAKER_00]: Story 3 I revenge cheated on boyfriend.

[SPEAKER_00]: My boyfriend and I have been dating for four years, and things have always been good until now.

[SPEAKER_00]: Starting in June, I was struggling with my mental health for personal reasons.

[SPEAKER_00]: We began fighting more and growing a little distant.

[SPEAKER_00]: At the time, I thought it was just a rough patch in the relationship and that we would get through it.

[SPEAKER_00]: Then, in September, he cheated on me with a friend of his.

[SPEAKER_00]: I found out in October through a mutual friend.

[SPEAKER_00]: I wanted to break up, but he begged and cried so much that I couldn't gather the courage to leave.

[SPEAKER_00]: He cut off the friend group entirely, because many of them had encouraged him to cheat, started going to therapy, and did all the things he claimed he would do when he asked me to give him another chance.

[SPEAKER_00]: I couldn't bring myself to appreciate his efforts.

[SPEAKER_00]: In my mind, the only thing that mattered was that he had slept with someone he had told me not to worry about.

[SPEAKER_00]: I had suspicions that the friend he cheated with liked him and wanted him for herself.

[SPEAKER_00]: But he always brushed it off, saying she was possessive by nature and didn't mean any harm.

[SPEAKER_00]: He assured me he wasn't planning on being with her because he loved me.

[SPEAKER_00]: When I asked him why he did it, he said he was having a rough time due to problems in our relationship, and she was there to listen and help him with his morbid thoughts.

[SPEAKER_00]: Now to the present, we argued after a long time and it got ugly fast.

[SPEAKER_00]: I left to get away because I was having intrusive thoughts about hurting him.

[SPEAKER_00]: I went to a nearby bar where I'm a regular and had a couple of drinks before someone from my high school days approached me.

[SPEAKER_00]: We talked and there was an instant connection.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'll be honest, I liked the attention.

[SPEAKER_00]: To be clear, revenge cheating was never my intention.

[SPEAKER_00]: I've always thought revenge cheating is stupid, and that you should leave a cheater, not cheat back.

[SPEAKER_00]: But here we are, I was a little drunk and ended up spilling everything that had been going on with my boyfriend.

[SPEAKER_00]: He was sympathetic and shared his own experiences of being cheated on, talking with him felt incredible.

[SPEAKER_00]: It felt like I finally had someone I could share my thoughts and opinions with without hesitation.

[SPEAKER_00]: He is such a good listener, it's almost ridiculous.

[SPEAKER_00]: We left the bar, wandered around, and then went back to his place.

[SPEAKER_00]: We caught up on old high school memories, there were small touches, and one thing led to another.

[SPEAKER_00]: We ended up in his bed.

[SPEAKER_00]: In the back of my mind, I know I did it partly to get back at my boyfriend, and I wouldn't have slept with my old friend if my boyfriend hadn't cheated first, though there was undeniable chemistry between us.

[SPEAKER_00]: The friend did mention that my boyfriend wouldn't like it if he found out, and I vividly remember saying that I couldn't give a crap.

[SPEAKER_00]: When morning came we made breakfast together, blasted music, and then I left.

[SPEAKER_00]: I kept thinking about whether I should tell my boyfriend, but in the end I decided to just cut to the chase.

[SPEAKER_00]: I sat him down and confessed.

[SPEAKER_00]: He didn't say much just asked me to leave him alone for a while.

[SPEAKER_00]: I stayed at a friend's place for a few days before he called and asked to talk.

[SPEAKER_00]: When I went back, I was shocked by how terrible he looked, but I'll admit, a part of me felt good.

[SPEAKER_00]: He was finally feeling the pain I had to carry because he didn't respect me enough not to cheat.

[SPEAKER_00]: It had been so easy for him to cry, beg, and expect forgiveness, while I was the one left shattered in a lone, watching my mental health spiral.

[SPEAKER_00]: Now he stood there powerless, and for the first time he knew exactly what it felt like.

[SPEAKER_00]: He asked me if I regretted any of it, and I said no, I didn't regret it, and I still don't.

[SPEAKER_00]: He asked if I was remorseful.

[SPEAKER_00]: I said no to that as well.

[SPEAKER_00]: Then he launched into a monologue about how he understood why I did what I did and asked me to go to couples counseling with him.

[SPEAKER_00]: I was taken aback.

[SPEAKER_00]: I expected him to finally break it off.

[SPEAKER_00]: I had no intention of getting back together because one thing was crystal clear to me, everything I ever felt for him, evaporated the moment I found out what he did.

[SPEAKER_00]: Part of me even thought, if only I hated him enough to cheat on him again just to see how much it would hurt him.

[SPEAKER_00]: I told him that I wanted to break up, but he kept insisting.

[SPEAKER_00]: He claims this is just an obstacle, and that we can recover, and that couples' counseling will help me deal with my resentment.

[SPEAKER_00]: He said that what we had before the cheating was too good to throw away.

[SPEAKER_00]: I snapped in yelled that it wasn't good enough for him to stay loyal.

[SPEAKER_00]: It was a long, exhausting conversation that ended with me leaving again.

[SPEAKER_00]: He then told some of our mutual friends everything.

[SPEAKER_00]: Even his sister called me and asked me to try couples counseling.

[SPEAKER_00]: Almost all of my friends suggested the same, and the friend I'm staying with now also advised trying counseling before making any decisions.

[SPEAKER_00]: I feel very conflicted and confused.

[SPEAKER_00]: Should I go back?

[SPEAKER_00]: Should I try couples counseling?

[SPEAKER_00]: Can it actually help me work through my resentment?

[SPEAKER_00]: Is it even possible to recover from this?

[SPEAKER_00]: Story 4.

[SPEAKER_00]: I am cheating on my wife and living a double life.

[SPEAKER_00]: I got married young and impulsively.

[SPEAKER_00]: I had only known my wife for about two weeks before we tied the knot.

[SPEAKER_00]: At the time, I was desperate to settle down.

[SPEAKER_00]: I wanted stability, a family, and a sense of purpose.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm in my mid-30s, and I've been unfaithful.

[SPEAKER_00]: Before anyone jumps to conclusions, yes, I know it's wrong, and yes, I know the herd it would cause if it were exposed.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's not why I'm writing.

[SPEAKER_00]: I want to understand myself better, and hear how others view this situation.

[SPEAKER_00]: On paper, it looks like I've built the life I wanted.

[SPEAKER_00]: But inside the marriage, I feel disconnected and numb.

[SPEAKER_00]: My wife is not a bad person.

[SPEAKER_00]: She's a good mother and loyal partner, but I've never really felt a spark with her.

[SPEAKER_00]: And over time, our emotional distance has only grown.

[SPEAKER_00]: Our marriage has been strained for years.

[SPEAKER_00]: I feel more like a roommate than a husband.

[SPEAKER_00]: I've tried talking, but she often shuts down or dismisses my attempts.

[SPEAKER_00]: At some point, I stopped trying all together.

[SPEAKER_00]: Then I met someone who gave me what I had been starving for.

[SPEAKER_00]: Attention, warmth, emotional connection.

[SPEAKER_00]: It wasn't supposed to happen, but it did.

[SPEAKER_00]: What started as conversations turned into intimacy, and now I'm living a double life.

[SPEAKER_00]: With her, I feel alive again, [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not writing this for sympathy.

[SPEAKER_00]: I know the easy answer is divorce first, cheat never, but when you have a child involved a house, finances and years of history, it isn't so simple.

[SPEAKER_00]: Walking away feels impossible, but staying feels like a slow death.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to demonize my wife.

[SPEAKER_00]: She deserves better than half a husband, but I also don't want to demonize myself.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm human, flawed, and I made a choice that gives me what I cannot get at home.

[SPEAKER_00]: So my question is, is it possible to justify cheating in situations like this?

[SPEAKER_00]: Or am I just making excuses for selfishness?

[SPEAKER_00]: Should I leave?

[SPEAKER_00]: How would I even do that without hurting her?

[SPEAKER_00]: Story five.

[SPEAKER_00]: I cheated, and I'm pregnant.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know what to do.

[SPEAKER_00]: I am a 23-year-old female and have been going out with my really wonderful 26-year-old boyfriend for almost four years.

[SPEAKER_00]: We currently live together, but we have been slowly drifting apart for nearly two years.

[SPEAKER_00]: He has finished university and works a lot at his new job, saying that putting in the work now will pay off later.

[SPEAKER_00]: The problem is that it really takes a toll on him.

[SPEAKER_00]: I have asked him to try to spend more time at home, but when he is home, he is too tired for anything.

[SPEAKER_00]: Dinner, movies, dates, even being intimate, as of now we have not done it in three months.

[SPEAKER_00]: I know this is not an excuse for cheating, it is just context.

[SPEAKER_00]: After a while, I started feeling pretty lonely and began talking to his friend more.

[SPEAKER_00]: Whenever we saw him, I always felt better, and when my boyfriend had to leave the party or pub we were at, I would chat with his friend.

[SPEAKER_00]: A few weeks ago, my boyfriend and I had a huge fight, and I told him exactly how I was feeling, but he said it didn't matter.

[SPEAKER_00]: I think he was just angry, but me being a total idiot, I took it personally.

[SPEAKER_00]: We were supposed to go out that night, but he stayed home, and I went out.

[SPEAKER_00]: Unsurprisingly, the other guy was there.

[SPEAKER_00]: We both got drunk, and I told him how I was feeling.

[SPEAKER_00]: He was there for me that night.

[SPEAKER_00]: I was incredibly low and lonely at that point, wanting some affection, and I asked if I could go to his house because I didn't want to go home.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm sure you can guess what happened next.

[SPEAKER_00]: I stayed the night there, and we did it.

[SPEAKER_00]: Stupid and drunk with no protection.

[SPEAKER_00]: I came home the next day, and my boyfriend didn't say anything or ask where I was.

[SPEAKER_00]: Last week, I found out I am pregnant, and I don't know what to do.

[SPEAKER_00]: My boyfriend isn't a bad guy.

[SPEAKER_00]: I love him.

[SPEAKER_00]: story 6.

[SPEAKER_00]: I cheated on my partner with his dad.

[SPEAKER_00]: Before getting into the main story, what I did is unforgivable.

[SPEAKER_00]: And yes, I'm fully aware I'm a crappy person.

[SPEAKER_00]: No, the backstory is not to find justification.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's to give context to how it started.

[SPEAKER_00]: I've been with my partner David for nearly three years.

[SPEAKER_00]: We met while working in Ireland.

[SPEAKER_00]: After a year of dating, we decided to move back to his native country because he got a very good job opportunity there.

[SPEAKER_00]: The language here is completely different from mine, or any other language I speak.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I've been struggling to learn it and make friends.

[SPEAKER_00]: David has always been very supportive, helping whenever he could, and never leaving me alone in social situations, because he knows I get anxious easily.

[SPEAKER_00]: His family has been pretty much the same.

[SPEAKER_00]: From the moment I was introduced to them, I felt like part of the group.

[SPEAKER_00]: They always found a way to communicate with me, even though we initially had no common language.

[SPEAKER_00]: Despite all of this, I've been feeling very isolated lately.

[SPEAKER_00]: I see my family only once a year, and that's just for a week.

[SPEAKER_00]: My job is also on the line, as my company is planning another restructuring that could leave 10,000 people without work by the end of the year.

[SPEAKER_00]: David sees this as an opportunity.

[SPEAKER_00]: He's always wanted kids and has been talking about it a lot lately, but I'm not sure I'm ready for that yet.

[SPEAKER_00]: Two weeks ago, David's family had a huge celebration, and everyone was invited to a restaurant for lunch.

[SPEAKER_00]: We were supposed to meet at 130, but as always, David took ages to get ready, and we arrived 45 minutes late.

[SPEAKER_00]: I was upset and so were the others, but David brushed it off and sat down like nothing had happened.

[SPEAKER_00]: As we sat, I told him to apologize because, in my opinion, his lateness was extremely rude and had ruined the mood for everyone.

[SPEAKER_00]: In front of the whole family, he told me to stop being a bishop out of it, sit down and stop making a scene.

[SPEAKER_00]: I was shocked, he had never spoken to me that way before, and I left to cry in the bathroom.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't think I've ever felt this humiliated in my life.

[SPEAKER_00]: The whole family started arguing with him to defend me, but I couldn't gather the courage to face them again after that.

[SPEAKER_00]: After 15 to 20 minutes, I heard someone knocking at the door to check on me.

[SPEAKER_00]: It was my father-in-law, Alex, 50 years old.

[SPEAKER_00]: He apologized for his son's behavior and tried to convince me to come back with them, saying that everyone wanted to see me.

[SPEAKER_00]: I was feeling so overwhelmed that I couldn't express myself properly and kept switching to my mother-ton, which Alex clearly had a hard time understanding.

[SPEAKER_00]: Then he kissed me.

[SPEAKER_00]: I want to make it clear that he did not force me.

[SPEAKER_00]: It was way too much for me, and I left immediately, taking a taxi back home.

[SPEAKER_00]: A few minutes later, David joined me and apologized.

[SPEAKER_00]: He had been under a lot of stress and wasn't up to handling the whole family that day.

[SPEAKER_00]: He promised he would never take it out on me again.

[SPEAKER_00]: Two days later, Alex showed up at my home in the middle of the day, knowing that David wasn't there to talk about what happened.

[SPEAKER_00]: Long story short, we did it, and have been seeing each other almost every day since.

[SPEAKER_00]: The more it goes on, the worse I feel.

[SPEAKER_00]: Not about him, as I think I've always had a little crush on him since I met him, but about what I'm doing to his son and to the family who took me in and made me feel like one of theirs.

[SPEAKER_00]: I know I messed up really badly, and I truly love David, but I also have some complicated feelings for Alex, even though we decided today not to see each other that way ever again.

[SPEAKER_00]: I want to confess what happened and be honest with him, but it would hurt him beyond imagination and could destroy the entire family.

[SPEAKER_00]: Edit.

[SPEAKER_00]: I talked to my mom this morning and told her everything.

[SPEAKER_00]: Once the anger passed, she told me to leave David and confess about the cheating, but to keep Alex out of it.

[SPEAKER_00]: She thinks my duty is to give an explanation for why I'm leaving, but it is up to Alex's conscience to decide what he wants to do.

[SPEAKER_00]: In this country, the notice for leaving a job is two months.

[SPEAKER_00]: So I'll stay with a friend during this time and organize my return to my home country.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm leaving our flat by the end of the week, but I don't know how to have this conversation with him.

[SPEAKER_00]: Thanks to the few people who actually answered my question instead of just insulting me.

[SPEAKER_00]: Story 7.

[SPEAKER_00]: Two Timing Tim.

[SPEAKER_00]: I had a secret relationship on top of my first one.

[SPEAKER_00]: Let me preface this by saying I am trying to learn from this lesson and not repeat my mistakes.

[SPEAKER_00]: A year or two after college, I met a guy and we hit it off.

[SPEAKER_00]: A year later we moved in together, and then the pandemic hit.

[SPEAKER_00]: We quarantined together and both worked from home.

[SPEAKER_00]: Things were good until I started to feel like I needed some space.

[SPEAKER_00]: Needless to say the relationship suffered, I started working nights in a hospital and would sneak out during my shifts to meet other guys.

[SPEAKER_00]: Usually one night stands, nothing serious until I met the guy.

[SPEAKER_00]: We met once, then went on a date for the second meeting, and we hit it off perfectly.

[SPEAKER_00]: This continued for about a year, meeting his friends and family, going out, and getting to know each other.

[SPEAKER_00]: Meanwhile, my original relationship suffered.

[SPEAKER_00]: During that time, the first guy went back to working in an office and worked on himself in his previous baggage.

[SPEAKER_00]: He is now a well-developed mature man.

[SPEAKER_00]: In the second year, I broke things off with Guy No.

[SPEAKER_00]: 2 because I felt I was stringing him along, but we got back together because I fell for him.

[SPEAKER_00]: He is perfect in every way as well.

[SPEAKER_00]: In the third year, I got a rental so I could see Guy No.

[SPEAKER_00]: 2 more often.

[SPEAKER_00]: Always making excuses between the two guys and essentially living a double life.

[SPEAKER_00]: When the lease ended at the end of the year, Guy No.

[SPEAKER_00]: 2 asked me to move in with him, but I broke up with him again.

[SPEAKER_00]: Then we got back together.

[SPEAKER_00]: He moved to another city in the same state and asked me to come with him, which I accepted.

[SPEAKER_00]: But after three months of excuses as to why I was delaying the move, I broke up with him again.

[SPEAKER_00]: I felt guilty because I love Guy No.

[SPEAKER_00]: 2, but I also love Guy No.

[SPEAKER_00]: 1, and that relationship had gotten a lot better.

[SPEAKER_00]: I miss Guy No.

[SPEAKER_00]: 2, and I am sad that I left him.

[SPEAKER_00]: We ended on bad terms, and I just found out that two months after I broke up with him, he is already in a relationship with someone else, which hurts.

[SPEAKER_00]: I miss him and I love him, but after almost four years I couldn't bring myself to leave guy number one for guy number two, and now I'm dealing with heartbreak from a second secret relationship.

[SPEAKER_00]: I haven't told anyone except a few really close friends who offered support and acknowledged that it was wrong but at least I ended it instead of wasting guy number two's time and future.

[SPEAKER_00]: Story 8.

[SPEAKER_00]: He cheated, but he doesn't know that I cheated too.

[SPEAKER_00]: My husband of six years cheated on me with a woman at his work.

[SPEAKER_00]: The truth unfolded slowly over several months.

[SPEAKER_00]: At the time, our two children were three years old and 18 months.

[SPEAKER_00]: I was completely devastated.

[SPEAKER_00]: He even said that he thought he wanted to be with this woman.

[SPEAKER_00]: After a while, I didn't leave.

[SPEAKER_00]: Through many deep conversations about what led him to do what he did, we ultimately stayed together, not just for the kids, but because, thankfully, the love between us was still there.

[SPEAKER_00]: The healing process after the affair was far from easy.

[SPEAKER_00]: I hadn't set out to have someone else just to get back at him, but one night, after his affair and our reconciliation, I went out downtown to a club I used to frequent when I was single for old-time sake.

[SPEAKER_00]: I used to know a lot of people back then in the club scene.

[SPEAKER_00]: I was really good friends with one of the DJs and would always dance in his booth.

[SPEAKER_00]: Back in the day we flirted and knew there was an attraction, but never acted on it because he was and still is married.

[SPEAKER_00]: The night I went out he was still DJing there and was happy to see me after about a year since I'd last gone out dancing.

[SPEAKER_00]: After his set we caught up on life and he walked me to my car.

[SPEAKER_00]: He confessed that he had always liked me and that he was having troubles in his marriage too.

[SPEAKER_00]: We ended up making out in my car and the tension built up over the years made it clear we both wanted more.

[SPEAKER_00]: Honestly, I thought to myself, I for an eye and felt like this made us even.

[SPEAKER_00]: We ended up doing it in a nearby park at 3am.

[SPEAKER_00]: After that encounter, we secretly talked for a while.

[SPEAKER_00]: We did it a handful more times, and then had conversations about whether this was just casual, or if we were willing to throw away our marriages to be together.

[SPEAKER_00]: Ultimately, we decided to stop talking and stay in our marriages.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's been about four years since all this.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm still with my husband, and our relationship and family are happier than ever.

[SPEAKER_00]: Honestly, I never plan on telling my partner about what I did after he cheated, and I don't even feel guilty about it.

[SPEAKER_00]: In a strange way, it helped me get over his cheating.

[SPEAKER_00]: Edit.

[SPEAKER_00]: To give more backstory, the woman my husband cheated on me with did so more than several times over the course of a year.

[SPEAKER_00]: She was married, had no children, and was ten years younger than him.

[SPEAKER_00]: They apparently always met at his workplace where he was her superior, and had a private office.

[SPEAKER_00]: At the time, I had just had our second child together.

[SPEAKER_00]: Before this affair came to light, I had never cheated on him and never would have considered it.

[SPEAKER_00]: I also never would have thought he would cheat on me, but what happened had happened?

[SPEAKER_00]: Going through this time was the hardest thing I have ever experienced.

[SPEAKER_00]: I rarely left the house while we tried to figure out what to do.

[SPEAKER_00]: He was very confused as well, feeling like he had fallen in love with her.

[SPEAKER_00]: Long story short, as soon as her husband found out, he left and filed for separation.

[SPEAKER_00]: We ended up rediscovering what we loved about each other and decided to stay together.

[SPEAKER_00]: The woman my husband had an affair with later, wanted to date other men, which made him realize she was not who he thought she was.

[SPEAKER_00]: That made it easier for him to cut ties with her.

[SPEAKER_00]: As for my own cheating, the DJ is still married, and as far as I know, they are just staying together for their child.

[SPEAKER_00]: We had been intimate three times and never really intended to be together.

[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe just acting on an attraction we felt years ago.

[SPEAKER_00]: I guess two wrongs don't make a right.

[SPEAKER_00]: At the time, I did feel justified, though I know now it probably wasn't the best choice.

[SPEAKER_00]: I think the DJ and I will never tell our significant others what happened, because it wouldn't serve any purpose.

[SPEAKER_00]: We have all moved on, and have had zero contact since then.

[SPEAKER_00]: Through all of this, I realize that humans can be messed up sometimes, but that doesn't mean things can't be fixed or that everything is lost.

[SPEAKER_00]: We are approaching 10 years together now and we learn to work through a very difficult time as a team.

[SPEAKER_00]: My family is happy and I'm grateful that we are still together.

[SPEAKER_00]: Story 9 I cheated on my husband and I have no regrets.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not going to sit here and list all my husband's wrongdoings or flaws to justify my actions.

[SPEAKER_00]: However, I do feel like I've done my marriage some justice.

[SPEAKER_00]: I love my husband.

[SPEAKER_00]: We just celebrated our seventh anniversary.

[SPEAKER_00]: I know it sounds typical, but we've been going through some rough patches.

[SPEAKER_00]: I've realized there are things he can't fulfill in me and things that interest him that I simply cannot care about.

[SPEAKER_00]: But these things aren't worth divorcing over.

[SPEAKER_00]: I've always valued individuality in my marriage.

[SPEAKER_00]: I wanted to keep a sense of self.

[SPEAKER_00]: For example, I didn't change my last name.

[SPEAKER_00]: Still, I did feel like I lost myself.

[SPEAKER_00]: When I first met him, I was a vibrant, funny, sociable person.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not that person anymore.

[SPEAKER_00]: I lost her.

[SPEAKER_00]: I became a typical black cat emotionless.

[SPEAKER_00]: I stopped getting myself ready.

[SPEAKER_00]: I stopped going out.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not depressed by any means.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm content.

[SPEAKER_00]: But I'm not the same anymore.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't laugh as much.

[SPEAKER_00]: I love who I was and I miss her.

[SPEAKER_00]: Long story short, my husband crossed some boundaries, and I felt vengeful.

[SPEAKER_00]: On top of all our little bumps and feelings of being unfulfilled, I downloaded a dating app.

[SPEAKER_00]: I filled out my profile, chatted with a few men, and met one who really stood out.

[SPEAKER_00]: He was the only man who could hold a conversation.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's like talking to a wall on these apps.

[SPEAKER_00]: I was up front about being married and he accepted my conditions.

[SPEAKER_00]: We faced time for hours the night before meeting in person.

[SPEAKER_00]: At first, I just planned to go on a date.

[SPEAKER_00]: I wanted my mind to be stimulated.

[SPEAKER_00]: My husband doesn't stimulate me mentally.

[SPEAKER_00]: His thoughts and our conversations are very surface level.

[SPEAKER_00]: This dating app guide picked my brain and I picked it his.

[SPEAKER_00]: We had intellectual conversations and it felt so good.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not falling for him.

[SPEAKER_00]: I couldn't care less if we stopped talking or if he was seeing other people.

[SPEAKER_00]: Sure, I'd miss our interactions, but it's not that serious.

[SPEAKER_00]: So, after our little date, I went to his place, and we did it.

[SPEAKER_00]: The experience was more than I could have anticipated.

[SPEAKER_00]: He respected all my boundaries, didn't push for anything, and treated me like a true gentleman.

[SPEAKER_00]: My husband doesn't know how to do it right.

[SPEAKER_00]: He doesn't glide his arm along my back or my hip.

[SPEAKER_00]: He just puts his arm around me like a buddy.

[SPEAKER_00]: I try not to blame him much, although we're American, his culture doesn't encourage much public affection.

[SPEAKER_00]: My husband does care for me in his own way, but I was craving a man's touch, the little gestures that aren't sexual but show desire and affection.

[SPEAKER_00]: This man knew exactly how to take control.

[SPEAKER_00]: I got what I had been craving.

[SPEAKER_00]: I have communicated this to my husband, but he has yet to act on it.

[SPEAKER_00]: Now I think [SPEAKER_00]: feel the best I've felt in a long while.

[SPEAKER_00]: I feel confident.

[SPEAKER_00]: I feel sexy again.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm happy.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't feel any resentment toward my husband anymore.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's like I'm healed.

[SPEAKER_00]: My husband even noticed this shift in me and he's happy to have my smile back.

[SPEAKER_00]: He hasn't questioned anything.

[SPEAKER_00]: He doesn't know and I also don't plan on telling him.

[SPEAKER_00]: I thought maybe an open marriage could work for us.

[SPEAKER_00]: If we keep things separate, I could find someone who mentally stimulates me, while he could find someone who shares his hobbies and interests.

[SPEAKER_00]: If it gets more, we keep it at that, but at least we both get our fix.

[SPEAKER_00]: I feel good.

[SPEAKER_00]: Could this be a temporary high?

[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe, but I don't feel regret.

[SPEAKER_00]: I can still look at my husband the same way.

[SPEAKER_00]: In fact, we've had a deep conversation recently and things are improving.

[SPEAKER_00]: Could this affair be saving my marriage?

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm planning to see the guy again this weekend.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know how long it will last, but I feel good.

[SPEAKER_00]: Am I wrong for that?

[SPEAKER_00]: Story 10.

[SPEAKER_00]: I almost cheated on my boyfriend.

[SPEAKER_00]: I 20 was at a rave recently with my boyfriend, 22.

[SPEAKER_00]: We were dancing at the very front of the dance floor during our DJ friend's set.

[SPEAKER_00]: My boyfriend isn't really controlling.

[SPEAKER_00]: He lets me wear what I want.

[SPEAKER_00]: Isn't overly clingy or insecure and trust me.

[SPEAKER_00]: He was dancing behind me with a little space between us.

[SPEAKER_00]: When a random guy pushed in and started dancing with me.

[SPEAKER_00]: Mind you, I'm not I'm going to push your boyfriend out of the way to dance with you hot.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'd give myself a six at best.

[SPEAKER_00]: So this felt crazy to me.

[SPEAKER_00]: My boyfriend pulled me away and walked to the other side of the dance floor.

[SPEAKER_00]: We both just brushed it off.

[SPEAKER_00]: We were rolling and kept dancing.

[SPEAKER_00]: About 20 minutes later, my boyfriend said he was going to find our friends [SPEAKER_00]: I told him that if he waited until the end of the set, I'd go with him.

[SPEAKER_00]: But he hadn't seen his friend in a while, and was worried, so he would literally less than two minutes later, the same guy from before came straight over to me.

[SPEAKER_00]: I was so nervous because I'm generally shy even when I'm on M, and I already felt guilty seeing him walk over because I found him attractive.

[SPEAKER_00]: The music was incredibly loud, but he said something like, how do you do that then?

[SPEAKER_00]: I was puzzled, and he saw that, so he added, how'd that guy you were with even pull you while laughing?

[SPEAKER_00]: The problem is he kept talking and he was serious.

[SPEAKER_00]: Everything he said when he wasn't missing my boyfriend was vulgar and immature.

[SPEAKER_00]: His idea of a compliment was very bangable.

[SPEAKER_00]: Here's the real problem, I kind of liked it.

[SPEAKER_00]: Not the part where he disted my boyfriend that was hurtful to both of us, but the vulgar things coming from a guy I would totally guess was out of my league made my breath quick and he held my waist again and I let him.

[SPEAKER_00]: His hands on my body felt like a whole sin but so good.

[SPEAKER_00]: He went to kiss my neck and that's when I stopped it.

[SPEAKER_00]: I snapped out of whatever was happening, pushed him away, said I was sorry and walked away quickly.

[SPEAKER_00]: I know I didn't actually cheat, but I feel horrible.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know whether to tell my boyfriend about it.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't even know why I let it all happen.

[SPEAKER_00]: I think I just liked the attention.

[SPEAKER_00]: Story 11.

[SPEAKER_00]: I am a serial cheater, trying to mend my relationship with my girlfriend, who is married.

[SPEAKER_00]: I am a cheater, a serial cheater, likely because of being emotionally immature and needy.

[SPEAKER_00]: I was an emotionally abused husband, but I tried to make it work after too many rounds of do it my way or I will leave you or just being yelled at for being too honest or too nice.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm the kind of guy who will help a neighbor carry groceries or aid a stranded motorist.

[SPEAKER_00]: I started looking for positive attention outside of the marriage.

[SPEAKER_00]: Not good, I know.

[SPEAKER_00]: I met a nice woman and built an emotional connection, but I let it fall away.

[SPEAKER_00]: She deserved better than to be my other woman, and I wanted that for her.

[SPEAKER_00]: Years later, my marriage finally ended.

[SPEAKER_00]: I came home from work to my soon-to-be ex-wife, telling me how she spent money we had been saving to help buy our first house on her summer vacation plans.

[SPEAKER_00]: I gave up and started divorce papers.

[SPEAKER_00]: She moved out in a single weekend, leaving me with all the debts.

[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't care.

[SPEAKER_00]: I was free from her abuse and manipulations.

[SPEAKER_00]: A few years later, I reconnected with a nice woman, except now she was married with a child.

[SPEAKER_00]: Got a love social media.

[SPEAKER_00]: I saw her venting online about not feeling appreciated at home, so I invited her out for coffee.

[SPEAKER_00]: We talked for hours.

[SPEAKER_00]: The next month, I invited her to my place.

[SPEAKER_00]: We're both nerdy, so I introduced her to Doctor Who.

[SPEAKER_00]: Then we kissed.

[SPEAKER_00]: Within a month, I was calling her my girlfriend, and we were getting together whenever we could, well beyond just kissing.

[SPEAKER_00]: 10 years later, we are still dating when we can.

[SPEAKER_00]: She is still married, changes in work schedules, COVID, and family obligations have made things hard at times, keeping us physically apart.

[SPEAKER_00]: Her son is growing up and getting through high school, but I am four hours away and frustrated.

[SPEAKER_00]: Recently, while visiting a nearly lifelong friend in his wife, I met up with the wife's best friend, an old flame from before I was married who we never actually dated.

[SPEAKER_00]: Old habits of flirting reignited, and we were sharing spicy messages.

[SPEAKER_00]: She's married.

[SPEAKER_00]: I have a girlfriend.

[SPEAKER_00]: I convinced myself that we are just old friends harmlessly having fun with the flirting.

[SPEAKER_00]: I was blindly going along with it all, even swapping private pictures while sending money to help with her bills, just like the good old days from way back when.

[SPEAKER_00]: It didn't even click in my head that I was emotionally cheating on my girlfriend.

[SPEAKER_00]: I told my girlfriend about the old friend slash flame.

[SPEAKER_00]: I introduced them to each other.

[SPEAKER_00]: I even shared some of the conversations we had and admitted to sending money.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yet I am blind, like an alcoholic, believing he has his drinking under control.

[SPEAKER_00]: One day, my girlfriend was visiting me.

[SPEAKER_00]: While I was in the shower, she hopped on my computer and went through what was by then five months of messages.

[SPEAKER_00]: Some casual, a lot spicy.

[SPEAKER_00]: She called me out for cheating.

[SPEAKER_00]: She was hurt, and I felt bad.

[SPEAKER_00]: She told me to cut off the old flame.

[SPEAKER_00]: I did, right there on the spot.

[SPEAKER_00]: I am still with my girlfriend.

[SPEAKER_00]: The old flame is cut off and blocked.

[SPEAKER_00]: Mutual friends are informed so they know and can stay out of the drama, and so I can be clear that I am not holding a backdoor open to talk to the old flame.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yet my girlfriend still keeps questioning me.

[SPEAKER_00]: She has mood swings where she remembers the spicy messages she saw.

[SPEAKER_00]: She asks me if I am sure I want to be with her.

[SPEAKER_00]: If I really love her, I know I hurt her.

[SPEAKER_00]: I know I betrayed her trust.

[SPEAKER_00]: And if it had gone on much longer, I would have likely ended up in bed with the old flame.

[SPEAKER_00]: So, when my girlfriend is upset, when she is feeling angry and hurt all over again, I accept the fault of what I did.

[SPEAKER_00]: I apologize.

[SPEAKER_00]: I try to reassure her.

[SPEAKER_00]: I've spent more time apologizing than I did sending spicy messages.

[SPEAKER_00]: I know I have a problem given my history of cheating.

[SPEAKER_00]: When I was suffering through the later years of my marriage, I slept around, and this is something I admitted to my girlfriend when we started dating.

[SPEAKER_00]: My problem now is trying to find a way to help my girlfriend move forward, instead of repeatedly rubbing my face in the mess I made.

[SPEAKER_00]: How do I get her to stop reopening both her emotional wounds in mind?

[SPEAKER_00]: All the while I am the other man, waiting for her to decide to cut away from her marriage that she complains about to me.

[SPEAKER_00]: Story 12 [SPEAKER_00]: I cheated on my boyfriend of 10 years with a colleague and friend from the office.

[SPEAKER_00]: My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 years, most of which has been long distance.

[SPEAKER_00]: We've had our fair share of differences, and I was obsessed with him up until last month.

[SPEAKER_00]: There is this colleague 29 from work who has also been a friend for over two years.

[SPEAKER_00]: He is in a relationship of more than 10 years and we are best friends.

[SPEAKER_00]: We went on a group trip last month, not the first trip together.

[SPEAKER_00]: After coming back, I called him to discuss the trip which led to a long call.

[SPEAKER_00]: Again, not the first time.

[SPEAKER_00]: Those calls soon became a pattern.

[SPEAKER_00]: We had to talk even after spending the entire day together at the office.

[SPEAKER_00]: It became an addiction and obsession.

[SPEAKER_00]: We discussed it and realized this had gone way beyond friendship and genuine feelings were involved.

[SPEAKER_00]: Then he came home for a while, stayed the night, asked if he could hold my hand, held it, and stared at me the entire night.

[SPEAKER_00]: It felt weird, but also good.

[SPEAKER_00]: Then we decided to stop whatever it was because we wanted to be loyal to our respective partners.

[SPEAKER_00]: I was shattered, but tried.

[SPEAKER_00]: He tried, too.

[SPEAKER_00]: A week later, I felt nothing.

[SPEAKER_00]: I was happy about it, but then we started flirting again, held hands again.

[SPEAKER_00]: It became an everyday thing, sometimes lasting for more than two hours.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yesterday he came over again.

[SPEAKER_00]: We decided not to do anything but ended up kissing and making out.

[SPEAKER_00]: We joked about it in the morning, but now I'm a mess again.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know what I feel, but I can't stop trying.

[SPEAKER_00]: Even after everything, openly confessing, I love you.

[SPEAKER_00]: He has no doubts about the current relationship he's in, while I'm confused about who I really love.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know if this is a traction, obsession, infatuation or nothing, but I know it's there, and I'm not sure what I really want.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know why I'm so okay with letting my current relationship go, because at one point, I wanted nothing more than to be with him.

[SPEAKER_00]: Please help me sort out this confusion.

[SPEAKER_00]: Story 13 I cheated on my boyfriend within our friend circle.

[SPEAKER_00]: We're all in our late 20s and early 30s.

[SPEAKER_00]: First, I met my best friend, and the guy I ended up cheating with.

[SPEAKER_00]: We all worked together and had stayed friends for the past four years.

[SPEAKER_00]: Both of them were in very committed relationships back then.

[SPEAKER_00]: Somewhere along the line, I met and fell in love with my boyfriend.

[SPEAKER_00]: She got together with her new boyfriend, and the other guy separated from his wife.

[SPEAKER_00]: My boyfriend and I have been together for two years.

[SPEAKER_00]: We had our ups and downs, but were essentially in a great place at the time.

[SPEAKER_00]: Honeymoon phase in love and quite happy.

[SPEAKER_00]: Or at least that's what I thought.

[SPEAKER_00]: I've been in a deep depression for many years.

[SPEAKER_00]: In and out of therapy, jobs, and meaningless non-relationships, I suddenly met my boyfriend and decided that I wanted to be better.

[SPEAKER_00]: He is the first man I've ever had a serious relationship with, and he taught me how to maintain a healthy and enjoyable sex life.

[SPEAKER_00]: He didn't ask for anything other than being with me and saw me through the lowest parts of my supposed recovery with a patience beyond my comprehension.

[SPEAKER_00]: Of course he's no saint, and we've had our quams, but I know he always meant well and acted in good faith when confronted.

[SPEAKER_00]: In two years, I went from a sorry a mess to an increasingly functional adult.

[SPEAKER_00]: I went through absolute hell in the process, and I messed up first time.

[SPEAKER_00]: It happened when he and I were drifting apart earlier this year.

[SPEAKER_00]: He was very preoccupied with work and other serious matters, shutting me out, and we were barely seeing each other or even talking.

[SPEAKER_00]: Without trying to justify what happened, I'll just say that this other guy gave me the zoom attention I was craving, but surprise surprise.

[SPEAKER_00]: It only left me with a terrible feeling that made me swear never to do it again.

[SPEAKER_00]: Now I feel I need to give some context about how this guy and I grew closer and why things became so complicated.

[SPEAKER_00]: He lives in the same house as my ex-best friend, her boyfriend and her two children from other marriages, one of them a teenager.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's a sort of communal setup that has worked fairly well for them, except when drama hits, which happens often since there's plenty of alcohol, drugs and mental health issues involved.

[SPEAKER_00]: In this case, the drama was mine.

[SPEAKER_00]: As I mentioned, I was hurt, sad, and in a very self-destructive headspace when the first transgression happened.

[SPEAKER_00]: It was early in the pandemic.

[SPEAKER_00]: We were all binging on too many substances and spending far too much time together in isolation.

[SPEAKER_00]: I told her immediately hoping she would comfort me and help me figure out what to do next since I had done the same for her more than once in similar situations, namely cheating.

[SPEAKER_00]: At first, she did.

[SPEAKER_00]: She advised me, never to tell my boyfriend what happened.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I agreed.

[SPEAKER_00]: It turned out she was furious at both me and the other guy, she ghosted me for weeks.

[SPEAKER_00]: Convinced there had been an affair happening right under her nose.

[SPEAKER_00]: She said she didn't want to be part of that kind of secret, which put our entire friendship in jeopardy.

[SPEAKER_00]: At the time knowing her as I did, it felt like a huge leap to assume there had been anything more than that one incident.

[SPEAKER_00]: Given the discretion and understanding I had always shown her, I couldn't see why she needed to be so judgmental.

[SPEAKER_00]: I want to make it clear that I understand the moral weight of my actions, and that my boyfriend never deserved what I did.

[SPEAKER_00]: Still, I believe that by working on myself and on our relationship as we eventually did, it could lead to something better because there was so much love between us.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't feel justified but I did manage to forgive myself for that first mistake and swore I would never tell him and never let it happen again, as I've said before.

[SPEAKER_00]: It was difficult, a lonely process, and I carried the guilt until it slowly faded.

[SPEAKER_00]: I stayed away from the group for a while, stopped binging, and they did too.

[SPEAKER_00]: I got back to writing.

[SPEAKER_00]: We were all working on new exciting projects that actually inspired us.

[SPEAKER_00]: I was deeply in love with my boyfriend and with life itself.

[SPEAKER_00]: And then, that night, it happened again.

[SPEAKER_00]: I got so drunk, I could barely stand, barely speak.

[SPEAKER_00]: My memories of how it all ended are just flashes.

[SPEAKER_00]: This time, it was obvious to everyone in the house, my best friend, her boyfriend, and her eldest daughter, since I slept in his room.

[SPEAKER_00]: There was no hiding it, and honestly, I don't think there ever is.

[SPEAKER_00]: My boyfriend doesn't know, nor does he suspect of that I'm sure.

[SPEAKER_00]: The secret will stay between them no doubt, but keeping it buried like last time will take so much more out of me that I don't know if I can do it.

[SPEAKER_00]: And then there's the friendship, which feels broken beyond repair.

[SPEAKER_00]: She made the other guy cut me off that morning, refused to speak to me until yesterday, and now we're sending each other texts to the length of novels.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's entirely possible she'll evict him at this point.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's all awful, and I can't believe I caused so much damage in a single night.

[SPEAKER_00]: I know I broke my own heart and others have been and could still be broken too.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm so consumed by anger and shame that I can't even begin to imagine what comes next.

[SPEAKER_00]: The thought of telling my boyfriend of hurting him that deeply, maybe forever, makes me physically ache.

[SPEAKER_00]: Whether we stay together or not, I fear the pain would destroy him, and what terrifies me most is the possibility that all the growth I thought I'd achieved was nothing but an illusion.

[SPEAKER_00]: More than anything, I fear I've already lost him.

[SPEAKER_00]: story 14.

[SPEAKER_00]: Had a briefling with my sister-in-law before things got serious with my wife.

[SPEAKER_00]: My wife, let's call her O, and I have been happily married for six years.

[SPEAKER_00]: We have one beautiful child, a great life, and everything seems perfect on the surface.

[SPEAKER_00]: But there's a history here, and her sister, J, is at the center of it.

[SPEAKER_00]: I met oh years ago when she was engaged to another man.

[SPEAKER_00]: I wasn't romantically interested at first, but over time we became close friends.

[SPEAKER_00]: Really close friends.

[SPEAKER_00]: Oh was beautiful, intelligent, and full of energy.

[SPEAKER_00]: And before long, that friendship turned into something more, something secret.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, O cheated on her fiancé with me, it was messy and wrong, but the connection was undeniable.

[SPEAKER_00]: For about a year we carried on the affair, and to everyone else, I was just her good friend.

[SPEAKER_00]: The intimacy was passionate, even tingeed with a bit of comparison between me and her fiancé.

[SPEAKER_00]: Morely and ethically, it was completely wrong, but that's how it happened.

[SPEAKER_00]: Around this time, I met Jay and Wow, she was absolutely stunning.

[SPEAKER_00]: She was taller and more athletic than Oh, and I figured she was completely out of my league.

[SPEAKER_00]: I barely registered on her radar, or so I thought, fast forward a bit, and to my surprise, Jay started flirting with me.

[SPEAKER_00]: She believed I was single, unaware of the affair I was having with her sister.

[SPEAKER_00]: I flirted back, mostly for fun, never thinking anything serious would come of it.

[SPEAKER_00]: Jay and I became good friends, we texted, sent snapchats, and eventually went on a date.

[SPEAKER_00]: We were both technically single at the time.

[SPEAKER_00]: The date was a mix of tension and playful banter, with lingering looks and an unexpected question.

[SPEAKER_00]: Jay asked me point blank if I was sleeping with O.

She said I seemed like a better match for O than her fiance, and wouldn't be too upset if I was.

[SPEAKER_00]: I panicked and denied it.

[SPEAKER_00]: Jay seemed relieved, went back to flirting, and then asked if I wanted to go back to her place for ice cream or stick with our group plans.

[SPEAKER_00]: I chickened out, worried about messing things up with O and suggested we stay with the group.

[SPEAKER_00]: Later I sent Jay a ghost app message, I'd be dumb to say no to you, referring to another date.

[SPEAKER_00]: She saved it.

[SPEAKER_00]: I saved it.

[SPEAKER_00]: We never went out again, but that moment has been etched in my mind ever since.

[SPEAKER_00]: Fast forward a few years, I'll eventually broke things off with her fiance, and we got married, had a child, and built the life I had always dreamed of.

[SPEAKER_00]: Jai also moved on, married, and had a child of her own.

[SPEAKER_00]: But here's the thing, there's still tension between us.

[SPEAKER_00]: We never hug hello or goodbye like everyone else in the family does.

[SPEAKER_00]: She will occasionally repeat things I say in a teasing flirtatious way.

[SPEAKER_00]: Part of me thinks there's still something there, though I might be wishful thinking.

[SPEAKER_00]: This past summer, J.

found excuses for us to hang out alone with our kids while our spouses were at work.

[SPEAKER_00]: Pool days, play dates, you name it, and the bikinis she chose for those pool days.

[SPEAKER_00]: Let's just say they were hard to ignore.

[SPEAKER_00]: Every part of me wanted to bring up our past, but I held back worried that her feelings might not be mutual, or that I'd ruin everything.

[SPEAKER_00]: Jay still has that ghost app message saved, and so do I.

I have no idea if she's ever told her husband or OO about our little fling, or if you even want to call it that.

[SPEAKER_00]: And honestly, I'm not sure I want to know.

[SPEAKER_00]: Part of me wonders, is she still interested?

[SPEAKER_00]: Or am I imagining it all?

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm committed to my wife and our family, but I can't deny that Jay has always caught my eye whenever she walks into a room.

[SPEAKER_00]: There's a magnetic pool I can't explain.

[SPEAKER_00]: Am I crazy for thinking she might feel the same?

[SPEAKER_00]: Or am I just reading into things that aren't there?

[SPEAKER_00]: Story 15.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm cheating on my boyfriend with a girl.

[SPEAKER_00]: I met this guy in April of last year, 2021.

[SPEAKER_00]: Long story short, we really liked each other from the start, us both being stoners.

[SPEAKER_00]: And we began dating around October.

[SPEAKER_00]: Our relationship was rocky at first, since we were both dealing with our own mental health issues.

[SPEAKER_00]: But somehow we made it work, and I felt closer to him than ever.

[SPEAKER_00]: Come May of this year, I met a girl who seemed to appear out of nowhere.

[SPEAKER_00]: We met when she asked me for a light while I was smoking and pulled out one of her own.

[SPEAKER_00]: We talked for a bit.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I found her really sweet and cheerful.

[SPEAKER_00]: She invited me back to her apartment, where we smoked more and watched love death and robots on her five-year-old laptop.

[SPEAKER_00]: One thing led to another, and we ended up doing it.

[SPEAKER_00]: Later that week, I went to see my boyfriend and had to act like nothing happened.

[SPEAKER_00]: After returning to my town, I continued to see my new friend almost every day, and we still see each other.

[SPEAKER_00]: I think I like her way more than my boyfriend.

[SPEAKER_00]: I feel more compatible with her.

[SPEAKER_00]: She acts really caring and sweet toward me.

[SPEAKER_00]: We also share far more interest compared to my boyfriend, who only shares my love of cooking in marijuana, and she treats me far better than my boyfriend ever had.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't have the heart to tell him because I know he really loves me, and I love him too.

[SPEAKER_00]: Unfortunately, I'm in love with someone else more than I am with him.

[SPEAKER_00]: What makes it worse is that I feel more loved by her than I do by my boyfriend.

[SPEAKER_00]: story 16.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm a 26 year old female and cheated on my boyfriend who is 27 after three years together.

[SPEAKER_00]: Some background on our relationship.

[SPEAKER_00]: We met during the worst year of my life.

[SPEAKER_00]: Around the time my mother was diagnosed with cancer.

[SPEAKER_00]: The year that followed was incredibly difficult.

[SPEAKER_00]: I had to drop out of school, quit my job and become her primary caregiver.

[SPEAKER_00]: During this time, my dad decided to leave.

[SPEAKER_00]: They had been married, but their relationship had been hateful my entire life.

[SPEAKER_00]: My boyfriend stuck around like the amazing person he is.

[SPEAKER_00]: I was a mess.

[SPEAKER_00]: Always angry at the world, heartbroken, the whole shabang.

[SPEAKER_00]: I had no business being in a relationship at that time.

[SPEAKER_00]: I tried breaking up with him several times because of my emotional turmoil.

[SPEAKER_00]: I felt a lot of guilt that he was experiencing this with me when he didn't have to.

[SPEAKER_00]: Fast forward, my mother passed away a year after her diagnosis.

[SPEAKER_00]: Two weeks later, my dad kicked me out of the house, and I moved in with my boyfriend, entering the second year of our relationship.

[SPEAKER_00]: I was obviously deep in grief.

[SPEAKER_00]: He would often wake me from nightmares where I was screaming and crying.

[SPEAKER_00]: This happened throughout the entire second year of our relationship.

[SPEAKER_00]: Entering the third year of our relationship, one year after my mom passed, I started feeling better.

[SPEAKER_00]: I finally got into therapy after being on a nine-month wait list, started working again, and began doing things that brought me peace.

[SPEAKER_00]: I also went back to school.

[SPEAKER_00]: I graduated in the summer of 2023, after completing an abroad internship.

[SPEAKER_00]: A graduation requirement for two months, then spent another month traveling for leisure before returning home.

[SPEAKER_00]: While abroad, I slipped into a deep depression.

[SPEAKER_00]: At one point, I probably slept for three weeks straight.

[SPEAKER_00]: To counteract that, I decided to continue my internship in another country.

[SPEAKER_00]: It was a remote position, but I stayed within the local time zone to maintain structure.

[SPEAKER_00]: I was trying to find my piece again through that depressive episode.

[SPEAKER_00]: It helped for a while, but then I had a conversation with my dad that completely unraveled me.

[SPEAKER_00]: Long story, I'll spare the details of.

[SPEAKER_00]: It was extremely emotional.

[SPEAKER_00]: He had met another woman in another country and was starting a new life there.

[SPEAKER_00]: I have severe abandonment issues according to my therapist, and hearing that triggered everything all over again.

[SPEAKER_00]: My dad had emotionally abandoned me my whole life.

[SPEAKER_00]: My mom's death felt like another kind of abandonment, even if it wasn't her fault.

[SPEAKER_00]: Why would my dad rather start a new relationship than men the one with his daughter?

[SPEAKER_00]: Was I not worth it?

[SPEAKER_00]: I've always considered myself a good person, successful in many ways, and I've repeatedly offered him all of branches to rebuild some kind of relationship.

[SPEAKER_00]: During that conversation, he told me he had known for 20 years that he had an immature personality disorder with schizophrenic tendencies.

[SPEAKER_00]: I had never known this.

[SPEAKER_00]: I was devastated.

[SPEAKER_00]: And to make matters worse, my mom's second death anniversary was only a few days away.

[SPEAKER_00]: I felt like a shell of myself again.

[SPEAKER_00]: Reliving all the grief, rejection, and feelings of unworthiness.

[SPEAKER_00]: I cried all night.

[SPEAKER_00]: The next day, an old coworker messaged me.

[SPEAKER_00]: He was always flirtatious with everyone at work.

[SPEAKER_00]: It wasn't something I had ever worried about or felt disrespected by because that's just how he was.

[SPEAKER_00]: But the conversation quickly escalated from casual messages.

[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't send any pictures or anything.

[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't describe what I would do or wanted to do.

[SPEAKER_00]: Most of it was the sarcastic wow, it's bigger than I thought type of comments he sent.

[SPEAKER_00]: He did most of the talking, but I didn't stop the conversation or say no.

[SPEAKER_00]: I mostly entertained it because I was bored at the airport.

[SPEAKER_00]: At the time, I felt numb to the conversation I was having.

[SPEAKER_00]: It lasted about one hour in total, split into two separate conversations because I had to board my plane.

[SPEAKER_00]: At the end of the second conversation, I told him I had a boyfriend and loved him very much.

[SPEAKER_00]: He was the love of my life.

[SPEAKER_00]: He replied with something like, well, when you're going to break up though, I told him he wished that I loved my boyfriend and planned on marrying him.

[SPEAKER_00]: He responded along the lines of, yeah, my bad.

[SPEAKER_00]: I was just bored and lonely, and mentioned he was looking for a girlfriend.

[SPEAKER_00]: Out of pity, I told him he was a great guy who would find someone good, and that I date him again.

[SPEAKER_00]: Something I 100% did not mean seriously, but set out of kindness.

[SPEAKER_00]: I had worked with him for about three years and knew he wasn't a bad person.

[SPEAKER_00]: I was and still am in no way attracted to him.

[SPEAKER_00]: It was messed up, all of it.

[SPEAKER_00]: I regretted it.

[SPEAKER_00]: That conversation snapped me back to reality and with a clear head, I knew I had messed up.

[SPEAKER_00]: I was going home in three weeks.

[SPEAKER_00]: I hadn't decided how or if I should tell my boyfriend.

[SPEAKER_00]: I kept the conversation on my phone in hopes of talking to him about it.

[SPEAKER_00]: Fast forward, I got home.

[SPEAKER_00]: Two days in, I was just so happy to be back.

[SPEAKER_00]: I love this man truly, I do.

[SPEAKER_00]: I still didn't know how I was going to bring it up, but I knew we needed to talk.

[SPEAKER_00]: That night, either the second or third night back.

[SPEAKER_00]: My boyfriend went through my phone and found the conversation.

[SPEAKER_00]: I noticed he was out of bed in the middle of the night and went to find him, not thinking much.

[SPEAKER_00]: I found him sitting at the dining room table.

[SPEAKER_00]: He asked me, what is this?

[SPEAKER_00]: His face broke my heart.

[SPEAKER_00]: I sat down slowly and said, I know what you're looking at.

[SPEAKER_00]: We need to talk.

[SPEAKER_00]: We went into the bedroom to have the conversation.

[SPEAKER_00]: I was open and honest about everything.

[SPEAKER_00]: I knew that if this was going to work, everything needed to be on the table.

[SPEAKER_00]: It was heartbreaking for both of us.

[SPEAKER_00]: We are strictly monogamous people.

[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't think I was capable of doing this.

[SPEAKER_00]: Let alone to him.

[SPEAKER_00]: He tried to break up with me, but I begged him to try.

[SPEAKER_00]: We had to try.

[SPEAKER_00]: He agreed.

[SPEAKER_00]: For the next two months, he kept asking for space.

[SPEAKER_00]: He needed time to sort through his thoughts.

[SPEAKER_00]: I went to therapy to understand why I did what I did.

[SPEAKER_00]: My therapist and I came to the conclusion that it stemmed from my abandonment issues, depression, and the emotional weight of the anniversary.

[SPEAKER_00]: It took several difficult sessions to unpack everything.

[SPEAKER_00]: While I was working through my issues, he was processing his emotions.

[SPEAKER_00]: We hadn't worked on much together during those two months, because I wanted to respect the space he asked for.

[SPEAKER_00]: I assumed that once he was ready, we could talk about it, make changes, create a plan to rebuild trust, and maybe go to couples therapy.

[SPEAKER_00]: But he didn't want anything to do with therapy.

[SPEAKER_00]: Ultimately, he decided he couldn't get past the broken trust.

[SPEAKER_00]: He asked me to move out earlier this month, and by mid-month I had all my things out.

[SPEAKER_00]: I still think we can make it work, but it doesn't seem like he wants to.

[SPEAKER_00]: He says he still loves me and wants to be with me, but he can't.

[SPEAKER_00]: I should also mention that he has a lot of trauma from being physically cheated on in past relationships.

[SPEAKER_00]: I can't blame him for the decision he made, but I can't express enough how much I love him.

[SPEAKER_00]: He is the love of my life, and I would never do something like this again.

[SPEAKER_00]: Story 17.

[SPEAKER_00]: I revenge cheated with my boyfriend's best friend after he cheated on me.

[SPEAKER_00]: Last year, up until around February this year, I was dating a guy I'll call C.

At the time, I was really insecure and always felt like he was way too good looking and talented for me.

[SPEAKER_00]: He's a few years older than me when I was 18, he was 22, has his own house, a full-time job, and even his own business.

[SPEAKER_00]: I just want to mention that because I don't think the situation would have gone down the same if I hadn't been so insecure.

[SPEAKER_00]: Anyway, we broke up for a couple of reasons.

[SPEAKER_00]: First, I realized I needed to be by myself for a while because I wasn't happy with myself.

[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't even love myself.

[SPEAKER_00]: Second, it bothered me that he would pressure me into sex when I wasn't in the mood.

[SPEAKER_00]: If I said no, he would continue anyway.

[SPEAKER_00]: I liked him a lot, so I let it slide for a while, but if it were me now, I definitely wouldn't stand for that.

[SPEAKER_00]: After we broke up, I started talking to another guy who messaged me on Instagram.

[SPEAKER_00]: I wasn't really interested in him, I was just messaging because I felt like I needed a rebound to get over my ex.

[SPEAKER_00]: We talked on the phone a lot, and eventually he mentioned that he actually knew seeing that they were really close friends.

[SPEAKER_00]: I was immediately suspicious, why would he be messaging me if he knew I was sees X?

[SPEAKER_00]: I friend zoned him right away, but at the time I was really lonely and depressed, and when he said he was fine with being completely platonic, I believed him.

[SPEAKER_00]: He would talk to me about other girls, and I would talk to him about C.

[SPEAKER_00]: Then he told me that C had been cheating on me throughout our entire relationship.

[SPEAKER_00]: Bragging to him about being with other girls the same day or the day after he was with me.

[SPEAKER_00]: I believed him.

[SPEAKER_00]: Partly because they were friends and partly because C is very attractive mixed race over six feet tall and he never let me see his phone, so I had always been suspicious.

[SPEAKER_00]: I've never tried to check any other ex's phones because I trusted them, but with C, I think my insecurity got the better of me.

[SPEAKER_00]: His friend also secretly didn't like C.

I can't even remember why.

[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe he thought C was sneaky.

[SPEAKER_00]: After a few months of talking, we decided to meet up.

[SPEAKER_00]: I went to the barbers with him, then to his house, and we just chilled and watched movies.

[SPEAKER_00]: We kept doing this quite a bit after that.

[SPEAKER_00]: just hanging out at his house as friends until he started planting the idea that I should hurt C since C had hurt me.

[SPEAKER_00]: The plan was to act like we were getting together so that C would get jealous.

[SPEAKER_00]: We even took a snapchat of me sitting on his lap and sent it to C.

When C asked who it was, his friend told him it was me.

[SPEAKER_00]: This idea became kind of fun.

[SPEAKER_00]: I remember the friend once called C and added me to the call while I muted myself.

[SPEAKER_00]: He asked C questions about me like, is she a good girl and is she a good beat?

[SPEAKER_00]: C responded horribly, saying things like, nah, she's a war.

[SPEAKER_00]: A few days later, C called saying he wanted me back.

[SPEAKER_00]: I assume he was trying to say face with his friend, but I said no because I was seeing someone.

[SPEAKER_00]: I never actually asked him about the cheating.

[SPEAKER_00]: I got so obsessed with this plan to make him jealous that one day, while I was chilling with the friend, he started getting close to me, and we ended up doing it.

[SPEAKER_00]: I honestly didn't fancy him at all.

[SPEAKER_00]: He was kind of annoying.

[SPEAKER_00]: I think I just thought it would be the ultimate way to piss see-off.

[SPEAKER_00]: After I went home that day, I told him I didn't want to speak to him again.

[SPEAKER_00]: It had gone way too far, and I hated myself for acting that way.

[SPEAKER_00]: It was so out of character.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't just sleep with anyone, especially people I don't fancy.

[SPEAKER_00]: Long story short, the friend caught feelings and tried messaging and calling me for ages, but that's kind of irrelevant to this story.

[SPEAKER_00]: Obviously the friend told C.

What happened?

[SPEAKER_00]: He even lied, saying we did it multiple times and that I didn't use protection, neither of which was true, C.

didn't believe him, so he called me and I admitted everything.

[SPEAKER_00]: He was extremely angry so I cut the call and didn't speak to him again.

[SPEAKER_00]: That all happened at the beginning of the year.

[SPEAKER_00]: I got into a relationship with someone else around April, and we broke up last month.

[SPEAKER_00]: I called C last night, and I could tell he was still angry with me, but he said he forgives me and wants to see me again.

[SPEAKER_00]: He wants to be in a relationship now and said he'll treat me right this time.

[SPEAKER_00]: He admitted he didn't realize before that some of his actions were wrong.

[SPEAKER_00]: He insists he never cheated on me, and that his friend is a snake.

[SPEAKER_00]: He's no longer friends with that guy, partly because of what happened between the friend and me.

[SPEAKER_00]: And also because the friend was trying to chat with other exes or girls he'd been speaking to.

[SPEAKER_00]: Now we're talking like nothing ever happened.

[SPEAKER_00]: I've really missed him and want things to go back to how they used to be, obviously with some changes.

[SPEAKER_00]: Still, I don't know if there's any point in trying, given everything that has happened.

[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for watching.

[SPEAKER_00]: If you enjoyed this video, be sure to give it a thumbs up, subscribe, and hit the bell icon so you never miss an update.