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[SPEAKER_00]: My husband, 45 male, got my daughter, 21 female, pregnant.

[SPEAKER_00]: My, 45 female, daughter, 21 female, came home from college after her university shut down due to COVID.

[SPEAKER_00]: It has probably been the longest since high school that she's been in the house.

[SPEAKER_00]: In February, I underwent a tummy tuck to correct my diastasis recti from having my children.

[SPEAKER_00]: It didn't go so well and I was left with a badly shaped belly button and a high-writing scar.

[SPEAKER_00]: My husband would call it to my Willy Wonka belly button.

[SPEAKER_00]: He nicknamed a bump in the skin near both of my hips to be dog ears.

[SPEAKER_00]: As such, quarantine was a very tense time for the both of us.

[SPEAKER_00]: I was scared to be going back and forth to doctors because of surgery complications, and hated that I came home to a dirty house with no effort made to clean things up.

[SPEAKER_00]: I thought since lockdown lifted that things would get better, but though we thought less, my husband continued to act strange.

[SPEAKER_00]: And my daughter spent all her time away during the day.

[SPEAKER_00]: Finally yesterday my daughter started crying at breakfast and confessed that, she was pregnant and, that it was because she had been sleeping with her stepfather.

[SPEAKER_00]: She admitted that it started around a year and a half ago, and resumed during quarantine.

[SPEAKER_00]: She claimed that he was sweet, charming, and fine to her, and one thing led to another.

[SPEAKER_00]: I was shaking in anger because I knew they were having sex when I was in the hospital getting treated for a condition that made me lose my self-esteem, a condition that made me not feel like a real woman.

[SPEAKER_00]: I confronted my husband about it and he said that I always held the fact that I earned much more over his head, that he didn't feel like a respected man in his own family, and that he felt mocked by my female friends parading their higher earning husbands around, and that they and I collectively tore his self-worth to shreds.

[SPEAKER_00]: He is a filmmaker but has not worked for nearly two years, and that pretty much coincides with when he started sleeping with my daughter.

[SPEAKER_00]: I have never done anything but be supportive of his passions, long after his parents gave up on him.

[SPEAKER_00]: I would actively try to connect him with people and skimp on my own expenses so that he can invest in his career.

[SPEAKER_00]: I was sobbing, yet he continued to say that we never even had sex anymore.

[SPEAKER_00]: But how could we when he'd lift up my shirt and grimace?

[SPEAKER_00]: When his grimace would make me cry in front of the mirror.

[SPEAKER_00]: I wasn't thinking clearly in the moment, and part of me also was fuming at the irony that the separated abdomen and body pains that brought my daughter into the world was now being used as justification for her and my husband betraying me.

[SPEAKER_00]: I told both of them to get out of the house.

[SPEAKER_00]: My daughter obeyed immediately and left for her friends but my husband said that this house had his name on it too, and he was staying, but I could leave.

[SPEAKER_00]: I fairly couldn't stand being around him, so now I am staying with my sister until I get my bearings.

[SPEAKER_00]: I lost them both in a single day.

[SPEAKER_00]: What do I do?

[SPEAKER_00]: I can't believe I'm saying this, but a visceral part of me really hates my daughter right now.

[SPEAKER_00]: I hate her because this wasn't just a one-time thing she betrayed me over and over again.

[SPEAKER_00]: As did my husband, but I was always able to accept the fact that I might be furious with a romantic partner.

[SPEAKER_00]: I never expected to feel these emotions of disgust and betrayal towards my own daughter.

[SPEAKER_00]: What do I do?

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to talk to either of them right now.

[SPEAKER_00]: I want to file for divorce, but I'm afraid I'll be finnically ruined.

[SPEAKER_00]: But I am also scared that once this comes out I will be laughed at by everybody for being a sexless ugly old woman who is past or prime.

[SPEAKER_00]: Who now realizes that the reason her husband would be cheerful when I went to another doctor's appointment was that he could finally cheat on me with my daughter.

[SPEAKER_00]: This.

[SPEAKER_00]: Is it possible at all he was grooming Ops' daughter since she was a minor?

[SPEAKER_00]: Opted not say how long they were married.

[SPEAKER_00]: I agree what the daughter did is very wrong but if she was also in part raised by this man, then he took advantage of a parental, authoritative relationship to form a sexual one.

[SPEAKER_00]: Especially if the daughter had no father figure before him, it's not uncommon for daddy [SPEAKER_00]: I'm so sorry up.

[SPEAKER_00]: I really hope you can take your husband's post as to the cleaners.

[SPEAKER_00]: You deserve love and do not deserve what you are going through.

[SPEAKER_00]: I know you hate your daughter right now, but it is possible that the same garbage man emanipulated you also manipulated her.

[SPEAKER_00]: I know I will get downvoted for saying that, but despite 21 and being illegal adult, many young adults still lack the capability and emotional maturity to make good decisions.

[SPEAKER_00]: In her case an abortion would probably be the best option, so that both of you can remove him from your lives permanently, possibly working towards reconciliation.

[SPEAKER_00]: However being young and without a lot of experience or support, she may very well wind up down a bad path, one where she is chained forever to this terrible man or worse.

[SPEAKER_00]: Things will get better up, do not give up hope.

[SPEAKER_00]: Focus your energy towards your legal battle and towards rebuilding yourself image.

[SPEAKER_00]: Therapy will really help too.

[SPEAKER_00]: Best wishes.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know about this one.

[SPEAKER_00]: Respectfully, I think there is a huge difference between making impulsive and bad decisions, sometimes and repeatedly having sex with your stuff other for over a year.

[SPEAKER_00]: Also up, I am so, so sorry.

[SPEAKER_00]: This has nothing to do with your being sexless or past your prime.

[SPEAKER_00]: You don't deserve to believe those horrible things about yourself.

[SPEAKER_00]: Your husband cheated on you because he's a horrible person, you did not cause this.

[SPEAKER_00]: I hope you're able to heal from this and become the best, happiest version of yourself one day.

[UNKNOWN]: 3.

[SPEAKER_00]: Well, the person you're answering to just talked about the possibility of grooming which [SPEAKER_00]: with his attitude of guilt dripping up for his cheating, and without knowing how long this guy could already be manipulating both, we can't know for certain and the possibility is very real.

[SPEAKER_00]: I think it's important that possibilities are talked about.

[SPEAKER_00]: If he was abusing his position to get close to a young woman, that would be fucked up.

[SPEAKER_00]: Don't you think in that case, the two women could solve it with much therapy?

[SPEAKER_00]: this.

[SPEAKER_00]: We can also co-analyze the situation all day long.

[SPEAKER_00]: The reality is that as everyone here says he is a predator who will need to be dealt with in some way, and that your doctor at least understands why you would kick her out.

[SPEAKER_00]: You did the right thing by making sure you get some distance from the both of them.

[SPEAKER_00]: Get lawyer to deal with the house and divorce proceeding, and get a therapist to help you figure this out emotionally and how to treat your daughter in the healthiest way considering the situation.

[SPEAKER_00]: Do not wait on either of those things.

[SPEAKER_00]: I've never given in a ward or whatever before but here have one.

[SPEAKER_00]: I hope I did it right.

[SPEAKER_00]: I picked the comp one because your answer is absolutely the good comp one.

[SPEAKER_00]: Ops daughter is a victim too.

[SPEAKER_00]: She may have betrayed op but it sounds like a grown adult in a position of authority over her probably groomed and definitely prayed on her.

[SPEAKER_00]: the daughter needs to get help as much as opt does.

[SPEAKER_00]: The husband is irredeemable.

[SPEAKER_00]: op might not be able to have a relationship with the daughter but she's not a bastard in this, she's a victim.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't agree with three.

[SPEAKER_00]: The daughter was an adult when this shit started its oceanew what she was doing.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's not like she was brainwashed as a small child.

[SPEAKER_00]: She should not be forgiven as well.

[SPEAKER_00]: You can't just live with the kind of information and forgive a person like this.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's sick.

[SPEAKER_00]: She was a teenager when this shit started.

[SPEAKER_00]: And we have no idea how long ago the grooming started.

[SPEAKER_00]: Depending on how long ago op-met and married this man, the grooming could very well have started when she was a small child.

[SPEAKER_00]: The law calls an 18-year-old an adult, but the law is dead wrong.

[SPEAKER_00]: The brain doesn't reach maturity until age 25, so even a 21-year-old is still immature [SPEAKER_00]: The stuff of there is a predator whether the law formally recognizes him as one or not.

[SPEAKER_00]: Oh God, imagine if he has been helping to raise her since she was a child.

[SPEAKER_00]: How long has he been sexually attracted to this small person that he was supposed to raise and protect?

[SPEAKER_00]: What a disgusting predator.

[SPEAKER_00]: Thanks for listening so far, if story haven't update, we will post here.