The public has had a long held fascination with detectives.

Detective see aside of life the average persons never exposed her.

I spent thirty four years as a cop.

For twenty five of those years, I was catching killers.

That's what I did for a living.

I was a homicide detective.

I'm no longer just interviewing bad guys.

Instead, I'm taking the public into the world in which I operated.

The guests I talk to each week have amazing stories from all sides of the law.

The interviews are raw and honest, just like the people I talked to.

Some of the content and language might be confronting.

That's because no one who comes into contact with crime is left unchanged.

Join me now as I take you into this world.

In Part two of my chat with the very funny Nicki Justice, we carried on from where we left off in part one, when Nicki was telling us about her stripping career.

In this part, we talk further about Nicki's life as the wife of a bike motherhood, becoming a tattoo artist, and how she found her true self performing as a stand up comic.

Again, this was another interesting chat with a wild woman, Nikki Justice welcome back.

Yes, good to be here.

Well part two.

We made it through through part one.

Yeah, we covered a lot.

Where are we up to?

We could have gone down rabbit holes all so many different and varied stories.

Yeah we did leave you performing your first strip teas in part one.

Okay, So this is when I first became a stripper.

I started doing started out just wait to seeing and then from there i'd start So I never I didn't.

I wasn't a club stripper, so I never worked in a strip club.

There was one time where I accidentally accidentally.

I worked in a club environment.

It was because wherefore lost your clothes accidentally?

So I thought I was getting booked for a waitressing job, but it was at a pop up strip club inside Sexpo, because I think they have that over here, And I thought because my friend owned the Vodoo Land strip club in Perth, which I did used to work out but as a waitress, just a floor waitress before I started stripping, so that was like one of my side hustles.

So I just used to do normal waitressing there and then once I started doing the topless waitressing.

Because I was friends with her, she asked me if I wanted to work at Sexpo and or shift there, and I just assumed she meant as the topless nude waitressing because that's what I did.

And then when I got there, they were like, you're up next.

You got to do fifteen minutes on the podium, and I was like, with the pole and I'd never pulled ants before and it's actually hard.

There a lot of skill.

They used it as a like a gym session, and.

I kind of just thought I so I just I gave it a crack like.

I but I didn't know that the pole moved on it.

So when I thought the way they're flipping around is they actually so I kind of just clunkily threw myself around really badly, and I was like, okay, I'm not gonna I don't know how to do this, and so I literally just sort of pranced around the podium, apologizing to everyone sitting all the people sitting around the podium and saying, oh my god, this is my first time.

I'm so sorry.

They were laughing.

I thought it was hilarious and so we were just like I just walked around in a couple of Benett snaps.

I was this is why I have a joke about like I was like the ray Gun of stripping.

It was so bad, our world famous Olympians.

Yeah yeah, let's if you should describe yourself that way, mate, I.

Think our moves were on par Like I I distinctly remember doing abandoned snap, which is which is like the striper equivalent of doing the bloody sprinkler or something.

But everyone was lovely there was I got my first lap dance from that, so I did I did a lap dance, which I also didn't know how to do, and I got carpet burn on my knees.

But that was my first and early time in a strip clop all my other stripping so I would do the waitressing jobs and then from that led to so I was always at like parties like so it was usually like Bucks parties or footy wind ups and things like that, and then I would do so I started doing dance shows, so you would that was where you know, the stripper puts on a show at the party.

But I just did the like the entry level strip show.

So the tamer One, right, so there was like the tamer One was just like you know, you dance badly for me?

For me, dance badly.

There was like there's a couple of like signature stripper moves that you get taught, and then most of it was in the the sort of games, so you'd you know, have some lollies and play with those, and there was the cream so you do it was called a hot cream strip, so you would get shaving cream, men shaving cream and you would.

Put it on their bodies and light it up.

And I can't.

Believe we evern there's no ock health and safety in this industry, and there probably should be, because I don't feel like these men should be at our mercy because I had not.

I remember I remember being taught once and just sent to a job and this is how you got to do it.

And I was like, if I burn this man, we're both.

Like I'd been a bit reluctant to go to the hospital saying how did you get burnt off?

Yes?

Yeah, So that was just it was like a theatrical thing.

I feel a bit of a bit of fun, and so that was that was what I did.

And then there was always there was other other other other levels of stripping, but I never did those, but I saw them.

There was there's some some people were out there, there's I saw.

I've seeing some crazy things from strippers like that are trying to like have a point of difference, I guess, and make their show unique.

Okay, So how long did that?

That career?

So that was actually quite short lived because I came back from America, went straight into it, and it was only I reckon maybe six weeks into my little striper career that I met my ex husband, and so I continued doing it for maybe three or four weeks after we met, and then stopped because now I had a boyfriend.

Well, so your parents were right, you need someone to straighten you out.

Yeah, okay, tell us about we touched on it, but tell us about love at first sight when you've you've gone to the clubhouse, because I would imagine there'll be a bit of reluctance going to a biking clubhouse.

Yeah.

Yeah, Like I was pretty wayward at the time, and I was quite reckless.

But even for me, why do you say that, nicking Well.

Because we didn't go into what I did in America.

But I was partying.

I was, I was partying way too hard.

I was also I was still struggling with my mental health.

My mental health hadn't been good pretty much since my teens, and yeah, I was quite reckless.

I think I had to live fast, die young mentality, and I kind of was like probably doing things to try and make that happen.

And then I met my ex husband and that'll stop for quite a while.

It did.

It kind of settled me down and behaved myself and ended up.

I guess I had a version of happiness for a while, even if it wasn't perfect.

Well, yeah, relationships, yeah happened.

You have some good, good and bad.

But yeah, exactly, there's always good and bad, so it always starts out good.

That's how you get sucked.

So okay, well you're not going to start it.

It's bad that sometimes I have, but anyway, we'll move on with the recklessness.

You were really live fast, die young type attitude.

You're going for it, Yeah, and that you put that down to mental health or just your attitude to life.

Or I think so.

I actually think I was a lot like my dad.

Like my dad was really spontaneous and ye reckless as well with some of his decisions.

I think I think it was a mixture of my upbringing and my mental health, which was probably caused by my upbringing, I guess, but also I guess some of it's hereditary.

Like both my parents struggled with their mental health a lot, but they also had like they didn't have the best childhoods either.

So as much as you know, they messed up a bit, they were doing better with us than what they had, And.

I think that's that's important.

You can't look back at people that are brazy children the wrong way if they've been raised the same way, like where I learned from you.

Yeah, from as I used to.

I used to there was a period of like, especially in my earlier twenties, I used to be quite resentful and mad at my parents.

And then as I got older and you kind of just realized that we're all humans and they were doing the best they could with what they had, and they were in their own way, they broke cycles because you know, we had a better childhood when what they had.

And then I'm trying to do that same thing with my kids.

I'm trying to give my kids a better life than what I had.

But then I've still you know, still ended up.

They're probably gonna still need therapy, but who doesn't, Well, my kids, My kids have a much more stable life than what I had.

I'm sure your kids can come to you and tell you anything than that.

Yeah, we have a really good relations.

Which I think is a good good thing to have.

I have a really good relationship with my kids.

My kids have probably like rarely seen me drink like I have made sure like that's the thing I never wanted my kids to experience.

I didn't want my kids to be around mum, you know, drunk or andred.

So so my kids haven't seen me in that state.

I think it's important with kids that them we're diverging a little bit here, but with kids that parents should be parents first before they become friends.

Like you can be you can be friends with your kids, but your parenting hesitate the priority.

And I see a lot of kids go off track when their parents are treating them like friends and they're not raining the mint.

Yeah, And I think that's what happened with me, is my parents weren't definitely like I didn't have any boundaries.

I was sort of maybe maybe some mild ones, Like I do something wrong and they be like, oh, you shouldn't do that, but then nothing to forget about, yeah, which I won't be doing with my children.

I will be trying to keep my children as young.

Like I've got a fourteen year old now, and that was the age where I started misbehaving and mucking up and doing drugs.

And my son is so like, he's just a regular fourteen year old kid, and he's quite innocent, and I'll be horrified if he was suddenly doing speed or you know, so I want to keep him away from that for as long as possible.

Yeah, well, you've got the experience, so it can be hard.

While he'd be hard to keep it away from.

He's a very sensible kid, though he's autistic, and he's very black and white, and you know, he's very sensible.

And I think he's seen he sees people.

He's seen people, you know, be drunk or whatever, and he's just like, I don't think I like that, Okay, yeah like that.

So I think he'll probably, like all kids will, eventually, you know, go through there, you know, experimenting phase or drinking and stuff.

But I feel like he's got a good head on his shoulders.

I hope, oh fingers crossed you lose them from I reckon from about thirteen till coming out the other end of about eighteen nineteen.

Yeah, and you just got to keep a close watch because they can go either way.

Yeah.

Yeah, that informative period the time in their life.

Yeah, they get wrong friends and that okay, but we're not saying you've got the wrong friend just because you've met your future husband.

As you've walked in to do a show at a bikey clubhouse.

Yeah.

So I was just going to be waits sing yep, and we ended up.

So he answered the door.

So because I wasn't going to take the job at first, they rang me back because I'd already They were like, you available, I said yes, and they said it was a clubhouse, so I said no.

Then they rang me back and they said we can't find anyone, and they talked me into it.

So I went.

He answered the door, and I guess it wasn't what I was expecting.

So in my head because I hadn't been around barkies really, so in my head they were all all the bikies that I had been around were like these old, old, fat, scary looking men, and he wasn't.

He was like younger.

He was like early thirties, and so I was a bit surprised that it wasn't this big dirty barkie that I was expecting.

And yeah, we hit it off and we ended up starting to see pretty quickly after that, and then we were living together within a few weeks after that.

Okay, so the nikki warning signs worked up or whatever.

Well, I suppose what you've been through this doesn't seem so strange.

But did you consider what the life of a partner and future wife of a biki Withinta?

I don't think I considered it properly until I was already like in it, and I was like, oh, this is my life now because we because when we first met, I was young, single and didn't have any kids or anything.

So we partied a lot when I first met, But then within seven months I got pregnant, so all of a sudden, I was instead of instead of us just being young and partying, it was like a serious relationship and we're settling down and having kids.

And that's when I realized like, oh, this is going to be hard, because suddenly I stopped parting and he didn't.

Right.

Yeah, and the old daddy the club comes first?

How did that?

Those words?

And here all the time, all the time, it is still thrown around a lot.

Yeah, it's something that gets said a lot, and it used to it would be upsetting.

But I think if there was like a family emergency or something, then the club themselves would always want their members to go and sort that emergency out.

But some members would take it more seriously than others.

Like some members would be like, yeah, club comes first, but I'm also I've got to go watch my kids footy match or I got to do this.

There were some that would and then others were just like, no, I've got to I've got it.

Like everything was club club, club club, So there was people dealt with differently.

And how did you find the fellas in the club?

How were you treat that there's a partner of one of the.

Members hit and miss for I would say for the most part, most of them were lovely, but there was definitely some that I despised.

Yeah, there's some members that you know, like would be sleezy and you'd be like, how don't you be sleezy, like I'm.

Your friend's wife, brothers.

Yeah, And that to me used to I'd like so much.

You all go on about loyalty and respect and it's like, well that's not loyal or respectful, and you just kind of have to, oh, just laughing off his old or Yeah, and there was also you know, there were some members who I knew had done some really bad things and I didn't respect or like that.

So it was it was, it was.

It was definitely hard knowing that you were around some people and it went against your own moral values.

Yeah.

Yeah, you kind of just had to swallow things sometimes and ignore suppress it, I guess.

But there were Yeah, there was good and bad.

It's like it's like in any any circle of friends or any industry.

I think there's good and bads.

Like even in the police force it's got cops and bag pops, and there's actually there's actually quite a lot of men who, you know, they might be what society deems as a criminal, but they were like, they were good family men, and they were really like they were nice friends and good people in a moral sense, I guess, apart from the little crimes they might commit.

Him.

I know, and I've had this discussion.

I'm sure some people push back on it, but I'd like to see good in most people.

Sometimes when you identified some sleeze bags or committed a certain type of crime, they don't get a chance.

But quite often when you sit down, you step away and talk bikis generally here step away from the bravado that they have to put on when they're around the club.

You can have quite a good conversation.

And they've got values are not that dissimilar to the values that I have.

I've seen that, seen that with them.

So what was about your fellow that attracted you to him?

Besides you said he was a hot, good looking biking that you didn't expect.

I wouldn't go that far.

I guess it was like it was an instant kind of like attraction thing there.

But I definitely think at first I thought the barking thing was exciting, I guess, but that ended up wearing off.

Okay, to talk us through that, because I often ask people why did you join the gang?

And they said the excitement part of belonging.

You know, you walk into a club and everyone looks at you.

You know, you're on your Harley's riding down the highway on the run, that type of stuff.

What was the glamor and excitement from a partner's point of view.

Probably it's prettymost the same thing like it was I don't know.

There was obviously the bad boy and that kind of thing when they would go on like the runs, or if there was like a big like anytime there was a funeral, like everyone there would be hundreds of bikes, and there was something exciting about that being part of that procession.

And I don't know, I don't know.

I think I think a lot of young girls, well not not not no, probably not the girls that had good upbringings, but to see something exciting and glamorous in that, like you know, it's just exciting underbelly kind of lifestyle.

And I think they've glamorized it a little bit as well, like seeing you know, gangsters on TV and things like that.

It was because I used to love underbelly, which that was a you're part of it as.

Well, yeah yeah, underbelly badness.

Yeah, so yeah, I think it was just yeah, I just had this idea in my head that was, did you like.

Part of the attraction was you being the bad girl too?

Like maybe look at me, Yeah, I live outside the norms of society.

Yeah, maybe maybe, But I think it all wore off pretty quickly, like like because once I became a mum, I really like, you know, I think.

I think in my teens and early twenties, I was like quite a little bit lost.

And then when I became a mom, I was like, I never I suddenly it was the first time in a laugh, I never questioned my place in the world.

And I was.

But that's when the sort of shine started to wear off, because I was like, well, I just want to make this beautiful family, and I want to have a happy family.

And I had this idea in my head of what a happy family was going to be like when I had one, or now that I had my own, and I was trying so hard to make it like that.

But it was really hard when you're you know, partner's are biki and he wasn't prioritizing your family the way that you wanted him to.

You wanted the white picket fence and three.

Yeah, and I was trying to sort of force that and convince myself that I had it maybe, But because for a little while we ended up with a house, we had dogs, and we sort of had it, but it wasn't Yeah, the club comes first.

Stuff.

It used to get thrown around a lot because it was not home a lot during for periods of our relationship, so I was doing a lot of the family stuff by myself.

Did you get included in club functions like I know, Yeah, they have their runs and different.

Things, not the run so the runs was always men only, but like they would always so their club had.

They used to put on quite a lot of functions.

So they used to do bin Doing Rock, which used to be this huge rock music festival in Wa and then and then it became the Dirt Drugs, so they have every year they do the Bingeing Dirt Drugs.

It's a huge event.

It ended up growing quite big and they have like a burnout competition and.

Stuff, so it's quite a big deal.

They get like a few thousand people come in and with women would always help out with those kind of things.

They also put on a music festival one year and I ended up getting a job as like so I was my job was to deal with all the bands and book bands and deal with them actually like leading up to it.

But then it was like the stage manager of the bands on the day.

So whenever there was like events and stuff, the women would always be involved in that kind of stuff and like the parties and stuff.

We'd cook all the food.

Okay, so for this exciting and outlaw lifestyle sounds like the local football team getting there.

Yeah, it's very similar.

It's a lot like a footy club environment.

Yeah.

Okay, what about kids?

Were they included in stuff?

Yeah?

So a lot of a lot of the guys actually are beyond the fan like and the club.

The club themselves, I think actually were quite well.

I don't know what all clubs are like, but this club had quite a big family emphasis.

I think a lot of the older well I've heard not just I think, I've I heard some of them say, like the older members, you know, they messed up quite badly when they were they had their kids growing up and so and they probably weren't there for their kids.

A lot and a lot of their kids ended up.

A lot of their kids.

Ended up you know, you know, on drugs and m ding, and a lot of them don't have relationships with their kids, and so they ended up having a bit of a family like.

We used to have family Night, a monthly thing where each month a different member would be in charge of all, you know, bringing the food and have a family night where the kids and everyone would all come.

And most of their parties.

Would you know, earlier on would be kid friendly, they wouldn't bring the strippers out till later they would have they would still have the waitresses.

So I remember picking my kid up once.

So I was I was working, I was doing a fringe show.

I was in a cabaret show, and I came I had to leave my kids with my ex husband and they had some event on at the clubhouse, and so I went to the show.

I came back and I've walked into the clubhouse and my little like two three year old old son, I think it was like two, was being bounced on the knee of this stripers and boos were just bouncing up around and she's got my kid and my kids?

Is that this is cool?

So yeah, different, different family orientated, but it was still a little bit of inappropriate.

What about where the wives or partners.

Was there jealousy with the other girls that hang around with the clubs.

Yeah, for sure, So the wives don't were A lot of the wives didn't like the strippers.

And because when I first met my ex husband, I was the stripper.

Yeah, so I think it took a while for them to warm up to me because they saw me as like the enemy.

I guess.

So there was a bit of Oh yeah, there's a lot, there's a lot of bitchiness.

There's a lot of bitches the moles.

That's that's one of the nicknames for the moles, barking moles.

Coles is more the derogatory term.

And there was a status being the partner or there was.

A wife, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So there's definitely there's like there's strippers, and then there's hangarounds.

They call them onions.

The onions are the girls that will sleep with the guys, but they're just sleeping with everyone.

They don't really belong to any particular person.

That just gets sort of passed around.

And then there's then there's you know, girlfriends, and then wives and or wives and girlfriends are the same category, I guess.

But there was a definitely a like a hierarchy of the moles.

And there were certainly some women that would like not give you the time and day until you'd earned your place here and you had to be a part of this for because we see people come and go all the time and you might not be here that long, and so some of them were really fucking mean.

Did some did some try to mentor you once they accepted.

Your No, I wouldn't say mentor me, but I definitely because I was like, I have no filter and I don't hold back, and so some I got told off a few times for being out of place and shouldn't I shouldn't be saying this, especially when I was knew, But I'm just like, well, you're just a person to me, and I'm going to treat you, I actually any person, and if you're being a dick, I'm I'm gonna be like, hey, don't do that, because it's that like a woman.

One of the women was mean to my friend at my birthday party.

She was like a proper wife that had been around for ten years, and she was really rude to my friends.

So I sort of called her out on it and I was like, but I did it politely as well.

And then I got told off like I shouldn't do that because she's been around for so long.

I'm like, no, but she's been an asshole.

I don't care how long anyone's been around, Like, if you're being an asshole, I should be allowed to say, hey, don't do that.

So the structures and rules that they have in place also sort of filtered across to the women.

And yeah, I guess so, because I'm not saying I'm seeing here laughing at Bikey's, but where rebels were going to do this, And I'm not talking about the rebel gang.

I'm just saying rebels, we're going to rebel against society.

And then you read all the rules that you got to work bye bye, and you think she is Yeah.

No, I laughed at that as well.

It's like you're you're meant to be, you know, you don't want authority, but then there's a lot of authority.

But every club is different, so the Coffentiners don't have a.

Formal hierarchy at all.

They might have I don't know if they did, like when they first started back in the day, but they got rid of it, so they don't have a president.

Or like people have their roles and stuff.

I think I think there's people.

It doesn't go it's like unsaid, but there's definitely people who probably think they're in charge and are treated like they're in charge, but it's not.

There's no official president or anything like that.

Did you get a sense on the functions where they were on the piece and everything else.

Did you get the sense of menace in the air all the time, because it's.

A yeah, like there was definitely so like.

A family time at Christmas is all.

Almost every party would end with someone getting punched, right, So I was always like nervous about bringing outsiders in, like to come to a party, because you just be like my brother used to hang around, and I was always worried that.

He'd be the one who'd end up getting punched into.

Yeah, because and also sometimes like some of these members are just being dickheads, like because it's their domain and they can get it do so sometimes sometimes someone might be out of line and that's why they get punched.

Sometimes they're getting punched purely because a member wants too.

They can't really do anything about it.

So yeah, I didn't like that.

Now, I wouldn't imagine that's a very relaxing atmosphere.

Well I think, yeah, it was a very different environment when you were there sober or when you were there partying.

Because if I was partying, it was fun.

If I was there sober, it was stressful.

Yeah, Okay, did you any did you ever start any problems?

Oh?

Definitely.

I wouldn't say I used to I think I would have said I didn't start things, but if someone, like if someone started something with me, I was quite feisty and voice dress as well, I'd have to strip it with a thong once, like a foot thong.

She stole it, she stole my song.

So okay, but she started it.

I'm sure you were in the roight.

I'm sure that the club would have backed you one hundred percent.

She's still your thong, a foot thong.

Where we're podcasts, so people wanted to see, well, I.

Just in case you got any American listeners or because they a thong to them is the G string?

Yeah?

Yeah, okay.

Tattoos, when did you start delving into tattoos?

So not only on your body but also tatoo are.

Yeah, so I was always into tattoos, like even before I met my ex husband, because the tatoo and biky world quite linked.

But I got my my first tatoo, I actually know.

My first tatoo was a little one.

But then my second tatoo I got was a big one.

So I got my whole back tattooed for my like my second or third tattoo.

Yeah, I think I've got two little ones.

In Bali and then my big one Nikki, and so yeah, I've been I don't I think you should put more thought into your tattoos because I don't like a lot of my tattoos.

It's not like I don't care that much.

Like I just think, you know, we're in this skin suit and it's all gonna we're all gonna age, and I don't think it matters too much.

But in hindsight I would choose differently, or even some of them I just wouldn't get at all.

Do you care to offer advice on the ones that you don't like?

Well, because so tattoos are like, it's like fashion, and there's trends and trends change, and so now what was cool you know twenty years ago makes.

You look old age?

Yeah?

Yeah, And so you know, I think my sleeve, I like, I think my sleeve is fine.

It's nice, but I think it's quite dated.

Uh.

And so there's that.

I think there's there's trends that go around that people are going to regret because I became a tattoo artist and there's a lot of these, you know, girls that didn't have any tattoos and now they're covered in these little, tiny, fine line ones, but like everywhere, they're gonna hate those.

They're gonna, you know, they're gonna spread as they get older, and they're gonna go and spend thousands of dollars and a lot of pain getting them lazy.

So I do think a little.

Bit more thoughts could be put into your tattoos.

And that's just coming from someone who regrets a lot of So what what.

What would you recommend to someone getting the tatoo?

And I suppose that depends stage of life and all that, but what what's the type of cautionary tail you would say?

Don't do it impulsively?

Is because most of mine were chosen on impulse or like last minute sort of doubt.

And I think I get decision paralysis.

So I would be like, I don't know what to fine, I'll just get that.

And then I was like, oh, I wish I got you know.

But I also don't think it's that deep.

I don't think it's a big deal, even if like I don't necessarily like all of my tattoos.

But I also am like, wow, I don't care.

You've got the what said the butterfly on your theme?

Yeah, so this is one of the ones.

I regret.

This is going to be the first one our laser.

When when did you get that?

And what were you?

What were you?

So I got when I got this, So I became a tatoo.

I was still in a tatoo apprentice and at that point, like I'd started doing comedy, but I was very new to comedy and I never really at that point didn't picture myself being able to do it full time like I am now.

So at the time, I was a tatoo apprentice and I thought that was going to be my future.

So I was like, well, I'm as well just cover myself in more tattoos.

And so I got this one and I was kind of talked into it, and this is the first one old laser because it's actually not a bad tattoo, but it is slightly it's slightly tilted on the wrong angle.

You can fear it's not straight.

And we had an argument over this during the placement because he was putting it on my neck and I was like, oh, it's not straight.

Can we change it?

And he got mad at me because I was the apprentice, and he was like, don't question me.

I'm like, but it's not straight.

And then so we got someone else involved, and you could tell he didn't want to question him either, and he was trying to be like, He's like, oh, I can sort of see what Nick he's saying, but you know, he's also right, it's not that big a deal.

I'm like, it's my neck.

It will always be seen.

And so he.

Moved it, but they ended up pretty much in the same spot, and so then it was like, do you want it or not?

And I was like, oh, fine, just do it.

And I regret saying that I should have either made him change it and move it again or not done it, but I just went through it, and I regretted it ever since because it annoys me that it's on the p it's a bit and I also I think I think it was the fact that it was not a good day.

We didn't we didn't get along, we were arguing, and so I just like, I would like it.

Gone, okay, just bad memories.

Yeah, And it was a dick.

I don't need any memories.

Get rid of it.

He's like the most embarrassing blyp on my relationship history.

No, I can't give the guy a paul chance of response.

So I won't delve into it.

No, no, no, we don't need to go.

Okay, the art the street.

Were you into art?

Yeah?

Yeah, So I always was into art, and so it was actually when I was in America because I I've always loved drawing.

We're going to fight.

What happened in America, Well.

It was while I was over there that I started drawing again.

I hadn't drawn since like my earlier teens, it had been a while since i'd put a pencil of paper.

So I was doing a little bit of drawing over there, and and I was like, Okay, when I get back, I'm going to try and become a tatoo artist.

Then I met my ex husband, and obviously there's a lot of crossover with Barkie tatoo shops and Barkie, so I was like, oh, that'd be easy to get a job, but the reality of a tatoo apprenticeship is very long hours.

And because I'd started a family that my ex husband didn't really want me spending that much time in an apprenticeship.

So it was always like.

You know, one day, one day, one day, and then it never happened.

But I still kept so I used to do so I studied art for.

A little while.

So when I when so, so, after we got married and I'd had a kid, I went back to work and I was That's when I started working in project management in a for a construction company.

And it was while I was there I started studying.

I was first I was studying.

I was trying to get into law.

Actually I actually, uh, I've studied a lot.

So there's many jobs as I had, I've probably studied just as many degrees and they never finished.

But the very first one I ever studied was security terrorism and counter terrorism.

And then I quit when I realized the only outcome of this is to become a cop.

Yeah.

Well, in hindsight, I look back and go, maybe I shouldn't been a cop, but.

Well I joined.

I signed up to that one because I, in my silly little hair, I wanted to be a spy.

I was like, I want to become like a secret agent spy because I watched some spy movies and thought it was cool, and I was like, how do I become one?

Like I wanted to be an assassin.

So I sign up for that degree.

Spy Spies Spies article, and I keep talking about Jack bowmon.

I mean, if you're out there you need one, I'll still know it.

Good cover comedian.

I want to be that law what was what was law?

Even more?

I think because being around a lot of crime and they needed lawyers all the time, It's lucuraive for me and I could also help out a lot.

But I actually really enjoyed studying law.

So one of my ex husband's all the club's lawyers, I got along with her quite well, and I got and she was their criminal lawyer, and I just had a big interest in it and I actually did really well.

So I was studying.

I had to sign up first for a different degree to get into law, but I only had to finish four units and then I could have got in and I was able to use to electives in law, and I've got hardest actions on.

Both and I really really easy subject.

Because despite as crazy as I found, I was always a nerd at school before I went off the rails.

I was a nerd.

I was always top of my class in primary school before I started going off the rails in high school.

But I actually like I was always a bookworm and I loved I loved studying, so I would study but I study last minute, so I would stay up all night the night before it was dub due at eight am, and I'd stay up all night and I'd like, just get this rush, and I'd just do my assignment and it would be and it would be great.

So I was my written assignments, I'd always nail, so i'd always get like top marks.

For those exams where I had to remember stuff, That's where I struggled.

Okay, yeah, all right, well if I had a look at a lot of different stuff.

Yeah.

But then so I digressed.

We were talking about art.

So I was studying law, and I was going to be a lawyer.

I want to be a criminal lawyer, obviously.

And then and that was when my dad passed away.

And it was where my dad passed away that I gave up on that because I decided instead I would follow my heart and be a hippie and do art.

And so I changed to an arts degree and I did maybe four or five units of an arts degree before I gave up on that as well, because I was like, I don't feel like I need to spend twenty grand to learn how to do art.

I'll just watch it on YouTube.

Yeah, yeah, you can pick it up with your father dying, and it's always a warter the shed moment, but that's changed your outlook on life.

So my little reason.

So my dad passed away twenty twelve, So by then I had been married for one year and with my ex for almost three yeah, three years, two and a half three years, So by then I had I had a toddler, and my dad and I were quite close, but my dad had so my dad.

My parents, like I said, they got on the straight and narrow pretty much after the circus.

For quite some time, they were doing quite well.

They both ended up having good jobs.

They made this like new life for themselves and they'd really settled down.

And then my dad was definitely still a dabbler, so he used to party with us at the club.

Like he I think he was quite enamored by the barkie thing.

Mom would always jog at last my daughter's Finally, Mom used to say, I think dad always wanted to be a barkie and he was in a Christian biker group when.

When I was a kid, he joined a Christian.

Yeah yeah, so I think it was something he'd probably would have liked to have done, and he was.

He was probably around it a bit.

You made your dad proud, Yeah.

I did.

And so he's to party with us and occasionally.

And so I actually have like some great memories of doing acid with my dad, which I am glad I have those memories, because you know, you laugh NonStop and you have silly, deep conversations when you're high that you wouldn't have when you're straight.

So I've had some very good or very bad.

Yeah, but for.

Me, it went good, and I'm glad I have those memories with my dad.

And then so so my dad, he still parted a little bit, but he had he had had a good job.

He was mostly you know, living quite stably, and then he had an accident at work, which meant he could no longer work, and I think that was his downfall.

So idle hands became the devil's playground, and he got back into drugs quite heavily, quite quickly, and then he went downhill really fast after.

So I could think he had the accident in October, and he was definitely still leading up to the accident, there was you know, maybe some problems.

He was maybe dabbling a little.

Bit too much sometimes when he would because he was five four, so it was when he come home.

But then the accident just meant he had nothing to stop him from because usually he would have to you got to go to work, you got to not take drugs because you've got to get drug tested.

And then as soon as that was gone, he just Yeah.

So by December he had things got like really bad.

There was so many like messy family problems.

Yeah, December twenty twenty twelve, heinded up taking his own life, which sucked.

Yeah, we had a complicated relationship.

We were close, but I also was at the time.

I was not very happy with him, Like I was telling him he needs to pull his head in, Yeah, and I wanted him to pull his head in like he was even for even for the bikies.

He was doing too much because my ex husband's club sort of had a rule about meth heads and stuff like that they didn't associate with them and you weren't allowed to do it.

Their associates weren't allowed to do it.

And I think my dad was on thin ice like with my ex husband as well, because he knew what he was doing.

And yeah, so we did.

We did have many chats, Like I think we spoke a few days before he did it, and he knew he was struggling, and he told me he was struggling mentally, and you know, we sort of thought it was in part because of his job, but he was also you know, he wasn't perfect before before that.

But yeah, we had we had a big chat about everything because there'd been a big family argument and I had to go over there to try and sort of settle it down and sort it out.

And so we had a huge chat a few days before he died.

And the end of the chat, like he definitely I remember him bringing up suicide or having suicidal thoughts, and because I have also had suicidal thoughts where we talked to you know, you know, yeah, we have these thoughts sometimes, but we will never do that to each other.

Because we actually had a family friend whose son committed suicide a few years earlier, and we saw like just how devastating it was, and so because that was only quite recent as well, I thought, we left the conversation on the same page that, yeah, we get these thoughts sometimes, will never do that to each other.

We love each other and you know, always be here for you.

Blah blah blah, and then a few days later.

He was gone, Yeah, I can see why that's that's painful for you.

Yeah, so it definitely sucked, but it also was the catalyst for changing my life because that was it took.

It, it took.

It was a long process, but that was when.

So losing my dad is what sort of put me on a path of wanting to have a better life, I guess, and I was.

I became a little bit spiritual during that time as well, and I didn't want to I didn't want to party, and I didn't want that lifestyle anymore.

And it also, I think because I became a little bit spiritual and startup folks, and I think I was trying to heal myself from losing him.

But what it ended up doing was also heal myself and make me realize, I don't want to be in this situation anymore where you know, I wasn't in a happy relationship and I didn't like I didn't like the boundaries that you know, were always been crossed and stuff.

So eventually that's what led to me not wanting to be married anymore.

And so yeah, all these things a domino effect.

But yeah, losing my dad was awful and hard, but it also taught me a lot and made me grow a lot as a person.

Yeah, well you still feel like a kid when you've got your dad to sound things past and once they're gone, it makes you makes you reflect.

Yeah, so, okay, we've gone through that, the relationship eight years you were married, separation that that would be, well, any separations hard.

Is it hard separating from a biking You have to get approval from the club or no, the.

Club's not involved in it in any way really, But it was real.

It was a really messy breakup.

It was.

It was quite difficult, and it was quite hostile as well, and uh yeah, it was.

It was up there with one of the worst things I've been through, like losing my dad and that initial breakup it was.

It was pretty.

Brutal and it took took a long time for things to settle down, but eventually they did.

And now fortunately we actually get along and we co parent nicely and the kids, you know, get to see both parents that you know, functions and events and we all we've even been on holidays together and stuff.

That is the way we go.

Yeah, and the difference it made on my kids, like once we started getting along.

You could see it was huge.

So I think that's really import for families and for kids to see their parents getting along.

And you have to you have to forgive things that people don't say sorry for.

You've got to.

You've got to suck it in, you really really do, for the sake of the kids if you can.

And the one and also, in hindsight, I didn't handle everything perfectly either.

No one's faultless.

No, I don't think anyone anyone does.

But if you can give that priority to the kids, So congratulations to both of you.

We're very lucky to be in a situation we are now.

So this whole life that you've lived is just to give you stories so you could be a stand up comedian.

I've been working under cover all these years.

It kind of made it worth it, doesn't it, at least at least because I've always had these crazy stories, but like just sitting around, you know, having a drink with someone and oh wow, now I actually have a platform to tell them and make them into jokes.

And so how do you find your way there doing stand up comedy?

So as you've tried a lot of things.

Yeah, yeah, So after I left my ex husband.

It was twenty twenty one when I started stand up.

By twenty twenty one, I'd gone back to stripping as soon as we broke up because we had a business together but closed it down.

I started closing the business, so I knew we were going to break up before he knew, But he probably knew as well because he was also I was.

We'll both makeing moves.

He got a new girlfriend, I closed down our business.

It's like a game of chess.

So I think we both knew we were on the rocks.

And so my therapist had actually suggested closing the business down and starting to get my ducks in a row because I talked about wanting to leave.

And then.

So we had a memorial business.

We used to make headstones and photo engraved memorials and stuff.

So I went back to stripping as soon as pretty much as soon as I became a single arm because I suddenly needed income and it was the easiest and quickest thing I knew I could get straight back in to.

And uh, fortunately I also lost a lot of because I only just.

Had a baby.

But I lost a lot of baby wait because I going through a heartbreak does wonders for the figure.

I've seen that the breakup dot.

Yeah, everyone like you look great.

I'm like, yeah, I got my.

So much.

Yeah, so I went back to stripping.

So I was still stripping when I started comedy, and I think it was one of the lockdowns had sort of triggered it.

So we were in a lockdown and I posted like a parody song making fun of my failures.

So it was it was to the sound of silence, but I called it the sound of failure, and it was about my failed marriage and my failed only fans and my face because the only fans didn't.

Actually end up happening.

My joke was that I only had one fan.

He was my only fan, and anyway, so I made up this silly little thing, and I was posting.

I was always posting silly stuff on my stories.

And a comedian because I'd been to a few comedy shows, and a comedian followed me and he commented on one of my things hashtag comedian and that I think that's what planted the seed.

And then not long after that, the seed had sort of been planted, and then I just made that parody that people thought was funny.

And yeah, so I started.

I think I started like thinking, oh, maybe I could do some jokes, and then they kind of just came to me naturally, Like I remember being in the bathroom doing my makeup, and then I just started laughing at my thought process and I was like just reliving stories, but I was making them a bit funnier and throwing on a punchline.

And so I recorded myself.

I pretended I had an audience.

I recorded myself doing a couple of these little ideas in my head and I sent them to some friends and I was like, is this funny?

And look, they were probably just being nice to me, but they said yes, and so I was like, Okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna do an open mic.

And I got onto an open mic like a week after that, and I was really fortunate because I got onto like one of the best open mics in Perth.

So the best club in Perth is the Comedy Lounge, and they used to have a Wednesday open mic night and they stopped doing it like about two weeks after I got on, so I was quite lucky.

I got a really good gig for my first one, and it went quite well, and in hindsight, I have watched that video.

It is so cringe.

It was so bad.

I was the.

Audience was laughing, but also a good chunk of the audience were my friends.

So I had a little I had a support crew.

I was also a little bit high.

I had my friend who I hadn't seen in years.

It was just this chick who saw that I posted about doing it, and she came along and I hadn't seen her in like eight years, and she had mushrooms in her bag.

And this is like, because I was on in the second half, and so we're just watching the first half and she's like.

I've got some mushrooms.

Do you want a mushroom?

And I was like, okay.

So I just had one little one, not enough to like trip balls, but enough to make me laugh at my own jokes.

I thought I was hilarious.

And so I was on stage and it gave me confidence, I guess.

So I feel like I'm glad I had the mushroom because of very differently.

Yeah, what you just said there, if you've got confidence, I felt good.

There's nothing worse than someone on stage.

It's feeling yeah.

And then I, because I do struggle a lot with anxiety and nervousness, and sometimes it does come through on stage.

I get the shakes, so like.

Sometimes I can control I can calm myself down enough to control what's coming out of my mouth.

But there'll be like physical signs, like sometimes my hand will be shaking, and the hand I'm like, fine, people notice it, but it's not that big deal.

If my legs start shaking, I'm fucked because it's all so obvious.

Yeah, that sucks when but that hasn't happened in a long time touch wood.

But the handshake, I get the handshakes.

But you're as good as without putting pressure on you.

You're good as your last performance.

Like you're doing stand up comedy.

You're out there, this crowd there come to pay to see you.

Yeah whatever.

Yeah.

You're always feeling like you're trying to get good enough, and then when you finally feel like you're good enough, you get you do another gig after and you're like, oh, fuck I just because my show at Perth Fringe, well this year I won Best Comedy and I thought that was my moment.

I was like, oh, now I'm good enough.

And then I went to the next festival and it didn't do as well, like it was just harder, and I was like, ah, I'm still well.

I think you've always got to look for that improvement, like never be satisfied, because if I think you went out there without the nerves, you're going to crash.

Yeah.

Sure, And I'm actually excited knowing what I know now.

So when I first started comedy, everyone would say, oh, you've got to do it for at least three years before you've you know, before you're actually any good.

And I was like, I'll be fine, and that was so right.

It takes it takes years and to develop.

And you know, there's a few exceptions to the rule, who you know, take off quickly, like Andrew.

We'll talk about Andrew later.

Here's an exception to the rule, but most people do have to And so even though I know I've got heaps of room for improvement, and I always feeling like I'm not quite good enough, but I know I'm doing pretty well for where I'm at and how long I've been doing comedy, and I'm excited to see where I'm at in another three years, four years, five years, because you can only keep getting better.

The more stage time, the better.

You get I imagine like stage presence is sprucial.

You've got to have that.

Your jokes could be funny, but if you're not delivering at the time, and I can.

Feel the difference.

Sometimes sometimes you just have a set and you're just like that was really like you just felt really present and grounded, and it was like a really flowy set instead of just reciting things.

And I know that once eventually that'll come naturally and it will happen all the time, whereas now it's like I'm still I'm still battling with my nerves a lot.

Do you go out there with and I'm curious because I think I can understand the challenge of getting out there and trying to make people laugh.

Do you go out there and know you're at the bathim like the timings and all that.

Or do you go out there and you've got a rough idea and then you look at the audience and go, Okay, this is working.

That's not How do you prepare?

So when you're first writing, like when you're first writing new material, it's more well for me, it's more of an idea, like I'll sometimes try and write it out, but often it'll just be like I've got this idea, and sometimes it's better to go You've got to go to open mics.

You don't do this when there's a good gig.

But so you kind of just work it out and you'll say it the first time and be like, Okay, this bit work, this bit didn't, and you just have to keep going to open MIC's risking that it's going to not work and bomb.

Until you get it right.

And then once you get it right, you kind of you kind of you can change it up a little bit sometimes and sometimes things will happen naturally on the spot.

So sometimes even though I've got my set sort of verbatim, a new thought will pop in or something might have happened that night that you can call back to and work it in, and so it does sort of become a little bit fluid, but you sort of know what you're going to say.

That's a real talent, But there' isn't going out there with the confidence that you know you've got something that can become fluid and I'm going to nail it now is my time?

Yeah, and annahil it.

What's your what's your big crash and burn story?

If you had one.

Story, I've definitely bombed.

We're all bombed.

We've all bombed.

I had so my I've.

Got a very bad memory, probably partly from add partly from all the drugs I took when I was younger, But my memory is really bad, and so when if something throws me off on stage, it's really hard for me to find my way back to where I was.

And there was one time.

It was only one time, but I couldn't remember.

I just could not remember where I was.

I couldn't remember what to do next.

I just went blank, like complete mental blank.

And I get mental blanks in life a lot, but on stage it was the first time it happened where I went blank and I just couldn't dig myself out.

And I had because normally you have a mental blank, and then you might, you know, you might delay things a little bit without the audience really knowing, and then you will find a way out of it.

But this time I just couldn't, and I had to literally just say I've gone blank.

I don't remember what I was saying, and it was so awkward, and it was at a gig where it was already I was quite nervous.

I think that was probably partly why I had a mental blank.

So I was really nervous because it was like.

A sea of older people and I thought, oh, this is I'm a lot for these My stuff's going to be a lot for these people.

So I was really nervous already and yeah, that was that was brutal.

I did end up continuing, so I eventually changed tech, went to a remembered a joke that I could tell and went on with it.

But because it just ruined by set, because I was like, I was halfway part way through a joke, couldn't finish it, and then had to do this awkward that that son.

Yeah, I've had that moment once and it was terrifying.

And I was doing a live show and I had a monologue to know twenty thirty minutes, lights were too low or whatever, and I've just got I was like a deer in thet Yeah you do, and as you described that, that's exactly who am I.

It just went blank and then saw the real gathered.

But yeah, it sticks with your mind for the rest of the rest of the rest of the time.

So it was always It's always been my worst fear to go blank, and then it happened.

Yeah, but I think what I like to say is when people, you know, afraid of things, because one of my mottos is feel the fear and do it anyway.

And when the worst happens, at the end of the day, it's actually not that bad.

Like, yeah, it sucked, it was embarrassing.

Those people probably think I suck, and you know, I don't know if they ever see me again, and they probably think, oh, she's terrible.

But that's I mean, that's the worst of it.

And then you can go on and have a really good gig.

And I think everyone's had a bad gig as well.

I don't think you've done comedy properly if you haven't had a bad giar.

And I would imagine with it it's about and you said you at the end of the open mics, and it's about paying your dues, isn't It's about taking those knocks and getting those laughs and getting the field, getting the room.

And I just think it's fascinating.

I think it's a real challenging career.

You put yourself out there, more confronting than stripping.

I think, oh yeah, stripping way easier.

So with the woke society today, how how do you navigate the way of through there, because sometimes I always laugh at people's probably the wrong way to say it.

But when people go to a stand up comic that's there to shock you, and then they complain that the comic has said something that's offensive or someone takes offense to it, how do you navigate your way through that.

I generally, if I come up with a joke that I think is funny but I know it might be a little offensive, I'll still try it.

And sometimes it works.

Sometimes it doesn't.

Like I have one joke that I got rid of because I was like, okay, it is funny, and most people do laugh, but then a lot of people like you.

Shouldn't say that.

Yeah, and then.

And I'll probably still pull it out.

If I can tell we're in a kind of crowd that will be okay with it, I'll probably still do it.

If we're in like a big, browdy, you pub kind of crowd where they full of bogans, they would love it.

Just a way of getting through.

Like some could say, you've had a traumatic life in different things that's happened, But to be able to laugh, doesn't that make a difference.

Yeah, you're talking about your childhood.

Others could be saying, oh, my parents do this and hide behind that.

You embrace it, deal with it, and take some humor from.

Yeah, well, I think you know, these are my own life stories.

People.

We laugh at our traumas and our misfortunes all the time.

I think that's a human thing to do.

Keep it up because I think I know through time in homicide and not just from the policing point of view, the victim's point of views, and that you've got to find some brightness in the darkness, Like the world's dark enough.

So yeah, let's have a laugh.

Laughing there, like a lot of your jokes, I would imagine the laughing at your own expense.

So yeah, that's a good attitude.

Speaking of laughing at own expenses that I'm not sure if they put it in the love category, but you are seeing a person that's known to I Catch Killers, Andrew Hamilton, that we're allowed to mention these names.

Yeah, that's fine, Okay.

Andrew Hamilton, who's appeared on this podcast, and people might remember him as the man that got locked up for selling mushrooms, and he also hosted our Christmas special last year, which was quite funny.

He turned the microphones on me.

I just want to ask you a question without putting shit on Andrew.

He told me what I thought was one of the funniest arrest stories.

And I've heard a lot, seen a lot where he was on the back of a three day bender and the cops have knocked on the door, They've come in.

He's run up up the stairs to get rid of his get rid of his stash, and was complaining about how long it takes the flush stuff down the toilet when the cops are running up the stairs.

And then Andrew and his drug fucked mind at that point in time decide to hide behind the door like a little kid playing hide and seek.

And when the cop came in, he claims Andrew claims, and we haven't been able to verify that the cop knocked him to the ground and called him a fat fuck with a small penis Should Andrew sue the police over that or is it because part of the defense is well, it's.

True some people are growers, not showers.

At that.

Well, look, I reckon you two together would be hilarious, hilarious combination.

And thank you for coming on here and sharing your stories.

It's been fascinating.

I wasn't Memory Lane, I wasn't sure where or how the prepared and I think we've discussed things on eye catch killers today that we'll probably never discuss again.

But it's all about having a bit of fun, all the best for your future.

For people that want to see your act, where can they find out what you're doing?

So I'm touring at the moment.

I'm always adding new tour date, so if you just follow me Instagram or Facebook.

So Nikki Justice Comedy on Instagram or Facebook.

Also Justice Comedy.

Good stuff.

Thanks Niki, thank you, thanks

For having me.