[SPEAKER_00]: This episode is brought to you by our friends at Be Parent Surrogacy.

[SPEAKER_00]: mentioned the queer family podcast when you reach out and you will receive $2,000 off any service you book.

[SPEAKER_00]: It is also brought to you by our friends at California Cryobank.

[SPEAKER_00]: Use code queerfam25 for a free level 2 subscription to their donor catalog.

[SPEAKER_00]: Let's go start your family building journeys today.

[SPEAKER_01]: The queer family about guns, love is love is love on the queer family about guns, love is love is love on the queer family about guns, love is love is love on the queer family about guns, love is love.

[SPEAKER_00]: Hi, Jersey.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm trying to get this so you can see my awards behind me.

[SPEAKER_00]: This is, this should just be in the show too.

[SPEAKER_00]: because what else are they good for?

[SPEAKER_00]: They just sit there.

[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, here comes the dog.

[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, this is just a blooper reel at this point, Jerson.

[SPEAKER_00]: You can keep it or cut it out.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't even know.

[SPEAKER_00]: All right, come on up.

[SPEAKER_00]: There she goes.

[SPEAKER_00]: She's going to shake a little bit.

[SPEAKER_00]: We're going to get that sound in.

[SPEAKER_00]: She's getting settled.

[SPEAKER_00]: Like, like, the drop, the things, the things that ensue.

[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to the Queer Family Podcast, show all about family, but with gay.

[SPEAKER_00]: I am your gay host, Jamie, and this is the show that highlights celebrates uplifts and normalizes legit bit-to-quar families in all of our fabulous identities.

[SPEAKER_00]: And this episode does not disappoint at all.

[SPEAKER_00]: I got to sit down with Naya, the founder of B-Parent surrogacy.

[SPEAKER_00]: Also, one of the sponsors of this here show.

[SPEAKER_00]: This is an ally episode.

[SPEAKER_00]: I do do those from time to time and Naya is an ally in the true sense of the world.

[SPEAKER_00]: Listen, you all know this already.

[SPEAKER_00]: Finding sponsors who truly see and value queer families is not easy.

[SPEAKER_00]: It really isn't.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I hear your two niche more times than I can count from potential sponsors, but me parent is one of the rare companies that doesn't just talk the talk, they actually walk the walk.

[SPEAKER_00]: They show up for us, they invest in our stories, and they actively work to make queer family building more accessible around the world.

[SPEAKER_00]: and beyond their support of this show, Naya herself has been in the surrogacy world for years.

[SPEAKER_00]: And she's built an agency that centers transparency and care, and she is deeply committed to helping LGBTQIA plus folks build [SPEAKER_00]: our families safely and with dignity.

[SPEAKER_00]: Today, in this year's little episode, we get into international surf sea options, cost differences, emotional quiet times, the realities of the journey, and Naya even opens up about her own experience searching for a sperm donor and freezing embryos as a single person.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's real, it's heartfelt and it's exactly the kind of conversation that makes this show what it is.

[SPEAKER_00]: We are deep diving into surrogacy as it pertains to doing it through an agency and it's really, really great.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I also want to add that this is our final episode for season 20.

[SPEAKER_00]: 20 y'all.

[SPEAKER_00]: I can't even believe I'm saying that out loud season 20 final episode will be taking a little breather before we're back with brand new episodes in February, but don't worry y'all your feed isn't going to go quiet.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'll be sharing some favorite archived episodes and maybe dropping a little bonus magic here and there.

[SPEAKER_00]: So just make sure you stay subscribed and stay close.

[SPEAKER_00]: I have a new project on the horizon which will also be coming hopefully in February.

[SPEAKER_00]: I have been working behind the scenes with Jose Roson and YC Gay Dad who I have interviewed a couple of times on this year's show about his family building journey.

[SPEAKER_00]: But he and I have embarked on a new little project.

[SPEAKER_00]: a new podcast called Love Take Two and it's an in studio podcast like actually like fancy like we are in studio with our actual guest what I can't even believe it and we've been filming episodes the past couple of months for getting everything together and that is set to launch in February as well.

[SPEAKER_00]: Think of Jose and I as the gay Kelly and Mark.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's how we're thinking of ourselves.

[SPEAKER_00]: And we're interviewing guests about their take-to moments in life.

[SPEAKER_00]: The sequels in life, oftentimes, turn out to be the better, better versions of life.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's a really great little show.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm so excited for y'all to see it.

[SPEAKER_00]: So make sure you're keeping touch and you're checking in and we've got some great stuff coming on their horizon.

[SPEAKER_00]: And of course, the queer family podcast will continue [SPEAKER_00]: really important work and these are really important stories and I would never ever this is my purpose and I'm not stopping this your show either.

[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe someday it'll be in a studio though how exciting would that be?

[SPEAKER_00]: Anyway let's get into the episode I'm so excited for you to hear all about be parent and what it's like to go through surrogacy at an actual agency that holds your hand through each and every step.

[SPEAKER_00]: All right, let's do it.

[SPEAKER_00]: Helen, if you, oh, not to mention my son is home sick and I'm sorry if you have been hearing power Rangers in the background because that's what he's watching right now.

[SPEAKER_00]: He's got some tummy troubles today.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yay parenting.

[SPEAKER_00]: Am I right?

[SPEAKER_00]: All right, let's get into the episode.

[SPEAKER_00]: Helen and Bueller are watching Power Rangers with him right now, smoking their cigarettes, drinking their whiskey.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to ask them to roll this tape.

[SPEAKER_00]: Helen, Bueller, they're not real.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't have assistance.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't have anybody helping me with my son today or this alert here, little podcast, except Jerson, my editor.

[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you, Jerson.

[SPEAKER_00]: Helen, Bueller, let's roll that tape.

[SPEAKER_00]: All right.

[SPEAKER_00]: Let's go.

[SPEAKER_00]: Let's get into it.

[SPEAKER_00]: Clear family, but good, love is love.

[SPEAKER_00]: Hi, Naye.

[SPEAKER_00]: How are you doing, me?

[SPEAKER_00]: How are you?

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm good.

[SPEAKER_00]: It is so wonderful to be here talking with you.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm super excited to hear your story and everything you do for actually our community.

[SPEAKER_00]: So thank you for being here.

[SPEAKER_02]: Thank you for having me and I'm excited for our interview as well.

[SPEAKER_00]: Well, let's do it.

[SPEAKER_00]: Let's jump right into it.

[SPEAKER_00]: Can you tell everybody at home who you are and why you're here talking to the queer family podcast?

[SPEAKER_02]: I'm Naya.

[SPEAKER_02]: I've been around in the service field almost eight years.

[SPEAKER_02]: I found that the be-parent service agency, which is International Agency, and the be-parent is like home for everyone, like regardless of their family status for the same six couples, singles, like heterosexual couples for everyone who looks to build the family with the help of servicing options.

[SPEAKER_02]: And oh, so I do have a personal experience with ideas on how I get patient myself.

[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, what helps us like to be like close to the antennae parents understanding so how to build the family.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, and we're going to hear about your personal experience and we're going to hear a lot about be-parent surrogacy as well.

[SPEAKER_00]: And we just heard Anish and Miguel's story with be-parent surrogacy.

[SPEAKER_00]: And that's another reason why I'm so excited to talk to you, because Anish and one of the big takeaway from me from Anish and Miguel's story is how much they loved the personal touches that be parents or see gave to them on their journey.

[SPEAKER_00]: And that was my hugeest takeaway from them.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I love that.

[SPEAKER_00]: And when it comes to family building journeys in the LGBTQIA plus community, we know we're gonna have to [SPEAKER_00]: accept health.

[SPEAKER_00]: Help.

[SPEAKER_00]: We're going to have to accept help in most instances.

[SPEAKER_00]: Many, many instances.

[SPEAKER_00]: We need help.

[SPEAKER_00]: We're missing one part and we need help, right?

[SPEAKER_00]: Finding the organizations and finding the agencies that are really, really there for our community and who really, really do their best to uplift and celebrate and help our community is priceless.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I feel like I have found one in [SPEAKER_00]: super excited.

[SPEAKER_02]: So happy to hear that.

[SPEAKER_02]: So like what helps us like to understand everybody in the world and to serve as a journey like starting with an intending parent or like the surrogate or a donor or a sperm donor or everybody do contributes to the surrogate stays like.

[SPEAKER_02]: V-parent team is like, has their own experience with their fertility treatments surrogacy because some of our co-workers are like intending parents themselves, so they've been through the surrogacy process, some of them are like, don't or surrogate.

[SPEAKER_02]: So, and the sperm donor, so like it's like puzzles like from each side, which helps us like to tailor all the syrogacy journeys like based on their inquires and what they are looking for to achieve within a year time frame with the front face syrogacy journey.

[SPEAKER_00]: And that's what the feeling I got from a nation Miguel is that you were there every step of the way and they didn't feel alone because on this journey there are quiet times there are and they explained that to you know those quiet times are the hardest times when you're just waiting to hear about how many embryos you got are you're waiting to hit you know it's a busy journey waiting constant like be like so and also like ways what what is with LGP key comedy kids [SPEAKER_02]: like waiting is a different than what it is with a heterosexual couple so like we're like quite huge differences regarding that so but like waiting is hard and like especially when you're approaching to serve a sea like with LGBTQ communities easier because they are like fresh with a service [SPEAKER_02]: Harder, obviously, or waiting somebody is manageable, while in a heterosexual family, when they are approaching to surrogacy, they've been 10, 15 years of the failed IVF treatment.

[SPEAKER_02]: So, waiting for them is more stressful.

[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_02]: And there is no patient's life.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, well, I find that to your point.

[SPEAKER_00]: I call us the Ligipataquac community.

[SPEAKER_00]: I love how you say that.

[SPEAKER_00]: I like to speak at San Fancy in French.

[SPEAKER_02]: It's more fancy and like because like it's hard to keep up and like say like fancy because like when you did just go with LGBTQIA, it sounds very like lovely French.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and so what I find it because the logic to call community, we know from the, from the get go that we're going to have to use help.

[SPEAKER_00]: We come with kind of like a little bit of joy, yeah, we come with joy and patience to the game right away because we know this could take some time and we're excited to finally like start on this journey, whereas a lot of heterosexual couples.

[SPEAKER_00]: I call them non-clear couples a lot of non-clear couples.

[SPEAKER_00]: Like to your point, have already been trying for so long and they are, they are inpatient and rightly so, rightly so, it hasn't been working, and there's a level of sadness and disappointment in the fact that they couldn't do it the way they wanted to, whereas for us, we already did the talking through, we already decided which path we were going to take, and now we're finally to the point where we're getting on the journey, so we're like excited, but that being said, there's still a lot of quiet time.

[SPEAKER_00]: having the agency there, having personal attention, personal people who you know and who you speak with regularly to hold your hand through it.

[SPEAKER_00]: I think is a really wonderful added bonus.

[SPEAKER_00]: Now before we get into the intricacies of your agency and the things that you offer and the things that you really care about.

[SPEAKER_00]: I really want to dig a little bit into your personal story.

[SPEAKER_00]: your family building journey because they feel like there's a story there that I could know a lot about perhaps and I would love to like talk to you about it.

[SPEAKER_02]: I'm currently in like looking for a sperm donor which I can say was like easy for me because it's been a year seeing [SPEAKER_02]: And like I'm seeing for the one so I think sometimes I'm very picky, but I'm not picky, but also it's very hard.

[SPEAKER_02]: So like what is hard is like when is it patient like intending parent going on a donor databases and you have loads and loads and options?

[SPEAKER_02]: Like to choose the ones.

[SPEAKER_02]: So like I think like it's confusing because the last time I did that was like 300 dollars and I was like, okay, we every evening time.

[SPEAKER_02]: It's like bad time reading story.

[SPEAKER_02]: So I am like [SPEAKER_02]: 100, then time and you know how it is.

[SPEAKER_02]: You went through that part.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, hard to find a donor.

[SPEAKER_02]: Sometimes I wish there was an animation.

[SPEAKER_02]: So I don't know.

[SPEAKER_02]: I don't want to hear anything.

[SPEAKER_02]: I don't want to see the picture.

[SPEAKER_02]: This is what I'm looking and like find for me.

[SPEAKER_00]: interesting and well you can start your own agency for folks who want that but I'll tell you what I call this search and I have spoken to over 300 people who like over 300 people and many have used donor sperm.

[SPEAKER_00]: I call this search lovingly the search for the superhuman.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, because we get crazy when you have suddenly all of the choices in front of you why wouldn't you make sure you're picking the very best one and so we do get like I ruled somebody out because they had acne as a teenager who like who doesn't have acne [SPEAKER_02]: You get like, it's not the accident pregnancy.

[SPEAKER_02]: So it's not unplanned pregnancy.

[SPEAKER_02]: It's a plan.

[SPEAKER_02]: So every single plan and you want to make sure you do every single step.

[SPEAKER_02]: So what what aligns to you.

[SPEAKER_02]: Regarding hobbies, the personality traits, everything you want to make sure.

[SPEAKER_02]: even though like genotakes like okay 50% is yours 50% is others but 50% isn't like mainly for the environment you're gonna raise your kicks so like most of the time when we see the donor consume the kids you don't see the donor resembles you see the mother or father who raised that like you see lots of treats like to each other so jeans like sometimes are like [SPEAKER_00]: We do and it's true and it's a cross the board and that's why it's so important to tell these stories so that everybody knows this is normal It's okay that you're like really going into this and making spreadsheets and it's taking you a year Now you're like my next year.

[SPEAKER_02]: That's what I saw by February We should we should get going there's no time to wait So yeah, you're fine.

[SPEAKER_00]: We'll be right back [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, also speaking of the donor search.

[SPEAKER_00]: This is literally the perfect moment to shout out the place where you can find the donor, California Crying.

[SPEAKER_00]: You know them, you love them, I love them.

[SPEAKER_00]: They've been supporting this show all year and listen, we know.

[SPEAKER_00]: the search can get a little intense.

[SPEAKER_00]: And we all turn into amateur, geneticists scrolling for the perfect human, but California crowd bank really does make it easier with detailed profiles, medical histories, childhood photos, some adult photos, the whole thing.

[SPEAKER_00]: So, if you're in the stage of your journey or you're ready to start looking at donors, go take a look.

[SPEAKER_00]: And of course, use Code ClearFam25, which will get you a free level two subscription to their donor catalog.

[SPEAKER_00]: You can also use that code towards a discount on a level three subscription, which gives you even more information about the donors.

[SPEAKER_00]: And as we have illustrated, the more info you know, the better.

[SPEAKER_00]: If you're gonna go down the rabbit hole, you might as well save a little money doing it.

[SPEAKER_00]: go to cryobank.com and use code queerfam25.

[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, let's get back to this show.

[SPEAKER_00]: Can I ask you, can I get a little nosey and ask you, why do you need a sperm donor and what's happened there?

[SPEAKER_02]: I had a partner, but we kind of got the divorce.

[SPEAKER_02]: So now I'm like running like the people in like, and like there is no personal time.

[SPEAKER_02]: And I'd rather have like kind of insurance policy at least having a divorce.

[SPEAKER_02]: when I'll be ready to become a mom.

[SPEAKER_02]: I think it's going to come in a couple of years.

[SPEAKER_02]: So, and I want to have kind of insurance for myself for the future.

[SPEAKER_02]: Because there are loads of social, increasing, this and that, but if you're going to check with embryologists and doctors, everybody will tell you, if you have a chance.

[SPEAKER_02]: create the numbers and freeze the embryo rather than the all suits because all sick you need at least two, three rounds to have as many all suits as possible to break later and create the embryo.

[SPEAKER_00]: Right, once it's from frozen, yeah.

[SPEAKER_02]: New friends and little bit of guarantees, once again, IVF is not 100%, but have a little bit of security over there, it's better to have frozen and [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I mean, and you know firsthand because you run a surrogacy and IVF agency.

[SPEAKER_00]: So you know firsthand.

[SPEAKER_00]: And so you're going, you're going to go into single motherhood, or you're just going to start out and who knows what'll happen.

[SPEAKER_00]: But you're, it's an insurance policy.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that's wise.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I don't think it should be stigmatized.

[SPEAKER_00]: So you go through this IVF process.

[SPEAKER_00]: But that's very exciting for you.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I wish you all the best in this search because I know we get [SPEAKER_00]: And no matter the lowest cost of, yeah, and no matter who you choose, you're going to love that baby.

[SPEAKER_00]: Like, it all is just a move point to your point.

[SPEAKER_00]: Like, it doesn't, none of this, I mean, it matters.

[SPEAKER_02]: But, and it feels like the biggest decision of your life, you have to be ready because that decision will change your life.

[SPEAKER_02]: You have to be ready to have a sleepless night to be as patient as possible, because you can erase the newborns.

[SPEAKER_02]: And there is no, like, [SPEAKER_02]: You are not going to have like the proper communication.

[SPEAKER_02]: First three years will be like surrounding with your kids.

[SPEAKER_02]: So you have to be ready for that.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, 100%.

[SPEAKER_00]: And so I want to know what brought you into like the surrogacy world.

[SPEAKER_00]: What, what prompted you to to go towards creating this agency?

[SPEAKER_00]: And what's the story there?

[SPEAKER_02]: the agency was like idea of creating this one was like I wanted to have a safe place for everyone and to provide the transparency of the options to everyone in world because we know like every country has like a good and bad like agents and I wanted to make sure.

[SPEAKER_02]: This is the safe place for everyone, for the surrogate carriers, for the donors, and for the intended parents.

[SPEAKER_02]: And there is no hard feelings from each other like everybody feels as a community.

[SPEAKER_02]: So to make sure like everybody's perspective throughout the journey.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and it feels like you do a good job with that.

[SPEAKER_00]: And your and be parent is for people all over the world.

[SPEAKER_00]: So it's totally international.

[SPEAKER_00]: So US citizens can use be parent and and build their family through you regardless of where you are in the world, which is which is very interesting.

[SPEAKER_02]: It's great and clear like with lots of changes, they send out like what's happening in US.

[SPEAKER_02]: Like we've seen lots of intending parents are like seeking help like internationally.

[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.

[SPEAKER_02]: Through obviously options are internationally, are more affordable than unfortunately in the US.

[SPEAKER_02]: And also like the time frame.

[SPEAKER_02]: Some of the people have exactly a time frame.

[SPEAKER_02]: They don't want to be in the service for two, three, four years, waiting for surrogate carriers or like they want to have like affordable options as well as like knowing exactly what their journey will look like for a time frame.

[SPEAKER_00]: And it sounds to me like you have like you figured I don't know how you do it but you have a way that when they come they can start the journey like right away and there's no waiting time like you get on that you get on the ride and you're here we go.

[SPEAKER_00]: Let's do this.

[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, pretty much we don't delay in turning parents in turning current.

[SPEAKER_02]: So how would it work like if say say I was going into the service journey and I'm in New York City like how does that work with this international thing I'd love just like a rundown of we call it like we have it be bodies we have it be bodies so be bodies like kind of brand ambassador of that be current so we will be assigned to we have a new us like we have in New York we have in Washington we have in other states as well.

[SPEAKER_02]: who was our former attorney parents and who will kiss through the process so you will have a little like like an ambassador so you'll be like assigned a sign to the local local ambassador who's gonna walk you through what they're like they're how are you gonna move like the legal wise decent that's all the process to have a local support in your in your home time.

[SPEAKER_02]: However, like surrogacy journey starts with firsts like the medical screening to understand what are we standing are we okay to start the surrogacy journey next week or we need some more like the treatments improve the opposite quality improve the sperm quality depends every case is individual.

[SPEAKER_02]: After that is like legal screening to see like them criminal records and everything to make sure you're legally cleared.

[SPEAKER_00]: And then it's like because because internationally you have to be.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, interesting.

[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I'm also to make sure like everything is done like.

[SPEAKER_02]: as correct and as integral as possible.

[SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_02]: And after that is like your trip, your plan, your trip to our locations, which will be near right to Mexico.

[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, and instead of going to Europe, you have locations in Mexico.

[SPEAKER_02]: You have in Europe, we have in Mexico as well, but it was citizens.

[SPEAKER_02]: It's easier to come to Mexico because it's like where our five hours like top flying, rather than having your overseas trip, which is around 12, 14 hours.

[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, if you're looking for like summer vacations in Europe, this is a perfect destination.

[SPEAKER_00]: like might as well make a vacation out of it.

[SPEAKER_00]: I know that these are expensive journeys for taking.

[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, usually what we call this like once a baby will be born, we call it that baby won't face.

[SPEAKER_02]: So like while you're going to enjoy your baby more than a different country, like we can work on your documents to make sure baby will get the passport and you will leave that back to your home country.

[SPEAKER_02]: For the U.S.

citizens, the waiting time in any of the locations [SPEAKER_00]: So it's your baby one four four weeks sounds good to me and you're on baby leave so let's let's take the most advantage of it So let's say I get started with you.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm ready.

[SPEAKER_00]: I go to Mexico.

[SPEAKER_00]: I go to one of your clinics.

[SPEAKER_00]: Do I do the testing here?

[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it is usually recommendable to do home test things in your home country, home city because like in case of some abnormalities or like irregular like thing is better that way we can now you will get the treatment in your home town and then you will be traveling to us to make sure your trip will be productive and like you don't need to come back and live over and over.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, okay, perfect.

[SPEAKER_00]: So you get your testing and then you're ready to go to the clinic and then when you make it like then I go to Mexico to retrieve my eggs or no that wouldn't be no okay, let's pretend I'm a gay couple.

[SPEAKER_02]: No like for we that with a little retrieving we we do have that cases as well like when we for example if you're going through the idea of treatment.

[SPEAKER_02]: And like if there is option, like if you have a time to spend like in our like locations like around two weeks like we prefer we're going to start your preparation and we're going to want to reach from the day one like until there's going to be a virtual but sometimes they're like there there is no flexibility from the work and like we use like we start the preparation in your hometown and you're going to arrive at the end of the virtual in a Mexico or like anywhere wherever [SPEAKER_02]: your preferred destination will be got you.

[SPEAKER_00]: And like for a sperm deposit, you just have to schedule it and they go down and they make their deposit doesn't take as long.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's a lot easier.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's a lot easier.

[SPEAKER_00]: And also, this is because it, you know, we deal with inch medical insurance, which is a joke and it's terrible here.

[SPEAKER_00]: in the states, service is not covered.

[SPEAKER_00]: Everything is out of pocket for us anyway when it comes to these even IVF most of the time is out of pocket for us insurance isn't going to cover it.

[SPEAKER_00]: So it's still going to be we're still going to be paying for it like at your at the Mexico clinic.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's just that it's the prices that prices might be slightly different.

[SPEAKER_02]: I'm assuming that for the world then you're going to have in the states.

[SPEAKER_02]: and also like they we do have an insurance sale replace so because you know pregnancies like as can go in a different scenario during the pregnant states I call it like a panderer books when they when somebody is becoming a pregnant you don't know like what kind of like the journey will look like so we do have an insurance in a place in case of any like the like you enrollment or like preterm care like it is covered so there is no need to find [SPEAKER_02]: funds like on your surrogacy journey.

[SPEAKER_02]: So everything is planned and there is no unexpected surprises regarding the financial site.

[SPEAKER_02]: And this is also very helpful because recently, in the States, like we hear in like an unexpected and preterm known at all, here are like them bills, which exceeds like the little gazillion money.

[SPEAKER_02]: So like this and that.

[SPEAKER_02]: So like when we plan your journey, we want to make sure.

[SPEAKER_02]: You are financially ready.

[SPEAKER_02]: You're mentally ready to engage in the journey.

[SPEAKER_02]: And you are, you're gonna, because with all the sarrogacy journey is like the year, every year.

[SPEAKER_02]: So within a year you're gonna be a parent.

[SPEAKER_02]: So to make sure everything is planned and you're ready for that treatment.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it sounds like you look at this holistically, and you're not only looking at just the process.

[SPEAKER_00]: You're also looking at after the process happens.

[SPEAKER_02]: We do have a do line place because most of the time people who come, we just do a legacy.

[SPEAKER_02]: They're lacking with a do-la.

[SPEAKER_02]: So do-la is like the person who's going to be with you during the pregnancy to explain you what this old person means about the baby start developing throughout the trimester.

[SPEAKER_02]: And also after 20 weeks of the gestation, we are starting your preparation for their eye-rolling in any of the location where you're baby or little born to guide you with maternity clinic and especially have to take care of the newborns because also the time they have no idea what the newborn will look like.

[SPEAKER_02]: They read in the book or they sew like a friend's baby and they send that.

[SPEAKER_02]: So like we give you the [SPEAKER_02]: all the support as it's possible within newborns and we do also checkups to make sure you are staying sane.

[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, we fine.

[SPEAKER_00]: We're very busy doing fine after the birth as well.

[SPEAKER_00]: So you check in after and I have never thought about this, but I love the idea of the two dads having a dula with them.

[SPEAKER_00]: You know, it's not just for the pregnant person, it's also for [SPEAKER_00]: like, yeah, I never even thought about that.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's awesome.

[SPEAKER_02]: Is it like society assumes that as a woman, you're naturely born like you have to, but yeah, like, especially for the two data, it's like very handful, like, out like bigger, more.

[SPEAKER_02]: you know like more confident when they see the new ones because this is a foreign country and like they're you gonna you are not gonna have your friend or your mom or your cousin who's gonna help you like with the first couple of days and I think Dula and us will be there for you.

[SPEAKER_00]: I love that that's amazing.

[SPEAKER_00]: So then once this process starts say it's a two-day couple and they they did their thing in Mexico and then you help them find the egg donor and you help [SPEAKER_00]: find the surrogate.

[SPEAKER_00]: Can you tell us a little bit about who your egg donors are and who your surrogates are and, you know, the whole story surrounding, because that's a huge part of it.

[SPEAKER_00]: Exactly.

[SPEAKER_02]: So especially, I've been like experiencing was finding the donors.

[SPEAKER_02]: So I know the pain.

[SPEAKER_02]: With the egg donors, we do have a local egg donors.

[SPEAKER_02]: We have all types of [SPEAKER_02]: occasion at donors, mediterians, like the Asians, depends what is your work, the phenotype you're looking for.

[SPEAKER_02]: What we do regarding that donors is like since like some of us have the experience finding the donor and it's been the challenge thing.

[SPEAKER_02]: So what we do is like we do the person allies match.

[SPEAKER_02]: So we ask the based on your preferences and we do like five-ton profiles each time to [SPEAKER_02]: tailor your needs regarding the egg donor.

[SPEAKER_02]: And we found it's very easy while very easier to choose the egg donor than going on the database and having all of the options.

[SPEAKER_00]: Right.

[SPEAKER_00]: So you walk, you're like kind of like a dating service for the egg donors.

[SPEAKER_00]: You walk through it.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_00]: which is great.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's good to have a hand-to-hole, but I have spoken to some two-dad couples and actually I actually have spoken to a couple lesbian couples that actually used an egg donor.

[SPEAKER_00]: Who some of them get to know their egg donors and talk to them.

[SPEAKER_00]: Is that something that you all do or like, what are your thoughts surrounding that?

[SPEAKER_02]: They're like different types of egg donors.

[SPEAKER_02]: Some of the egg donors are anonymous egg donors, though like we don't disclose any information about egg donors, so you will get just a basic characteristics of the egg donor.

[SPEAKER_02]: And some of them are open ID, so that means like that her identity is close to you and some of them are like okay to be contacting after that several years later.

[SPEAKER_02]: if he's something you want to you are looking for let's say after 15 years or 10 years you want you to be contact the governor so yeah that can be arranged as well right but not knowing them and staying in contact with them some of them are okay with that some of them doesn't want to be in contact with the recipient family so they want to [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, got it.

[SPEAKER_02]: Like intending parents has their set of preference.

[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, replies to their donor.

[SPEAKER_02]: So there is no this side is like okay to do or this side is okay to do whatever they want.

[SPEAKER_02]: So it's based on the preference they say.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_00]: So but whoever you are, you can find the right got it.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's yeah.

[SPEAKER_00]: Because I know that anish and Miguel, they they chose one that they could contact when when the baby was 18.

[SPEAKER_00]: And [SPEAKER_02]: good to know that you have your choice of what you're looking for and and surrogates same applies to surrogate care during the mastering process we're asking intended parents regarding the communication if they want to attend during the pregnancy appointment what they think about that and the same way we're asking the surrogate care is what they feel about the communication they want to be involved or where are sending with that.

[SPEAKER_02]: Majority of the time I can say like during the mashing process because serogacy comes like with all of the options so sometimes you don't know like if we want to do like within this three months you will not have a communication with serogate or you don't want to have a communication so in case of there is no preferences what we do is like after first semester like we are slowly slowly starting to introduce in the parent and like serogate to each other [SPEAKER_02]: because majority of the time, they want to be in the same room in the maternity clinic, and we don't want total stranger to go, hi, I'm your like, I'm friends here.

[SPEAKER_02]: So we want to have a little bit of communication built before that.

[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, only thing what we do is like throw the syrogacy journey.

[SPEAKER_02]: We are facilitating like all the communications because like intending parents are coming from the different countries and they're different [SPEAKER_02]: and the surveys are local.

[SPEAKER_02]: So we want to make sure everybody is like respected and they're a guidance regarding the cultural communication and things and because every country are bringing in different.

[SPEAKER_02]: So we want to make sure you feel locally and you're respected over there and you respect the culture you're going in.

[SPEAKER_00]: Right.

[SPEAKER_00]: And it sounds like you can, you can kind of tick as intended parents.

[SPEAKER_00]: You can tailor it to how you want it to be with your guidance and making sure that everybody's respected and cared for, which is great.

[SPEAKER_00]: And how it should be.

[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.

[SPEAKER_00]: Last question regarding the surrogates.

[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I might not be the last question.

[SPEAKER_00]: But where do you, where do you find them?

[SPEAKER_00]: How do you find surrogates and egg donors?

[SPEAKER_02]: So like pretty much over the years like all of our server gate care, some of the like channels are like marketing channels, but majority of our server gate carriers are like coming because some of them heard like they did the server security with us and like they heard like all the treatment they got like, throw the process or like some of them did the server get to journey and are returning like they are getting the sibling journey for another couple as well.

[SPEAKER_02]: But one of the important things like when having a surrogate carrying your team is like to make sure she completed her family building and is she's now ready to help others to build the family.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I know you do all of the psychological testing and make sure, of course.

[SPEAKER_00]: So it sounds like they come from all different kinds of ways, but they're all excited to do this.

[SPEAKER_00]: See, like, I didn't like being pregnant.

[SPEAKER_00]: I would never, ever, ever be a circuit.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's not for me.

[SPEAKER_02]: But so they're unicorns in my opinion.

[SPEAKER_02]: one year for someone else to help to build the family is like, is like the truly amazing like behavior.

[SPEAKER_00]: I agree.

[SPEAKER_00]: 100%.

[SPEAKER_00]: I think they are heroes and their unicorns and I will lift them up forever.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yay.

[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you.

[SPEAKER_00]: Anne egg donors.

[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you.

[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, Anne's firm donors.

[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you, firm donors.

[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.

[SPEAKER_00]: So that's awesome.

[SPEAKER_00]: And then so once you get your surrogate and your egg donor and it's all done and we've [SPEAKER_00]: you go through that and then you have services that you still offer after.

[SPEAKER_02]: So you don't it's not good by it's like, I think like we don't end like our communication as soon as the baby is born like we're gonna be on your side to make sure you want back home safely.

[SPEAKER_02]: You have all the things you need.

[SPEAKER_02]: You got all the supports how to, I [SPEAKER_02]: have to be a new parent and everything all they aspects and also like even though like after the years and years like we are still in touch with our intending parents like on the Christmas we will get all of which we turn five which we're in here.

[SPEAKER_02]: So this is like the third, like I think one of the things what we do like when you get randomly on the day like message like, oh, baby, just eat the first walk or eat the first dogs and like this, this is like reminder why we do what we do.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I love it.

[SPEAKER_00]: And listen, it takes a village to make our families in the legit particular community.

[SPEAKER_00]: So it's good to have good village around you.

[SPEAKER_00]: Can we go into cost?

[SPEAKER_00]: Are you okay talking about costs?

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, money a little bit because I know in the States.

[SPEAKER_00]: If you do it in the states and you do it with an agency and that you know you have your I mean you're spending at least a hundred thousand possibly two hundred thousand dollars in the states how how does it compare and it's not going to be cheap like we all know this like we're we're saving we're deciding against getting a house or having a baby in our community in many instances so it's in the loans mortgage in your house and like lots of things nobody has extra money for the circus [SPEAKER_00]: Right.

[SPEAKER_02]: We're like with the international options, like I would recommend you to go to the S4VL GPT community, especially like I would recommend for them like to go on the locations where there is a surrogacy is fully regulated and there are the lows and your rights are also protected.

[SPEAKER_02]: because there are lots of countries who are so far in this bureaucracy but not everyone everybody has like the legal surrounding over there and it's for the international options let's say for the Mexico like we are looking health health course, what you would go through this bureaucracy so we're going to go start around $60,000 and go in the hundred k so it depends [SPEAKER_02]: Depends what you want to do.

[SPEAKER_02]: Do you want to do attendance to Roga City?

[SPEAKER_02]: You want to do like the single service or you will already have a existing address.

[SPEAKER_02]: So courseware is like but like it starts from 60,000 and go, can go up to 140 if you're doing dual service, we call it attendance to Roga City.

[SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[SPEAKER_02]: Usually for two gate deaths like they want to start together, two surrogate to like, you know, to pregnancy same times if it's possible.

[SPEAKER_02]: So that's amazing.

[SPEAKER_00]: I feel like it's just worth it to have your hand held through it.

[SPEAKER_00]: And then also, however much money we can save on these journeys is such a lifeline.

[SPEAKER_00]: You know, and we're all, when we go into this journey, we're all looking at price and we're all weighing our options and really trying to find the best option and the best price because it's not cheap, it's not cheap.

[SPEAKER_00]: I know I took out loans, you know, and that was just for sperm.

[SPEAKER_00]: And IVF, so it's so nice to know that there are really agencies out there that are really doing their part.

[SPEAKER_00]: I only speak for my community to give my legitimate to clock community the best options and to help normalize families like ours.

[SPEAKER_00]: And it means a lot.

[SPEAKER_00]: And it means a lot.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I said it before we were recording.

[SPEAKER_00]: It means a lot to have agencies like yours who actually like, [SPEAKER_00]: Sponsors shows like this that help get our stories out there, right?

[SPEAKER_00]: You're helping to normalize our family building journeys.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that says really so much about who you are as an agency and what you stand for.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I really appreciate that.

[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I think like, thank you so much for that.

[SPEAKER_02]: And I think like it always comes down to surprise, but also you have to like what I recommend every [SPEAKER_02]: Whoever calls like whoever they initial calls Sunday in consultations, I'm doing like don't jump on the first agency.

[SPEAKER_02]: Do as many research as possible.

[SPEAKER_02]: Ask as many difficult questions as possible because at the end of the day, you are building your family.

[SPEAKER_02]: So you are making the call.

[SPEAKER_02]: So you want to know exactly something goes wrong and especially it's a pregnancy, it's an IVF, it's a medical loss of thinking of wrong and read you'll be spending a standing like financially like the program wise and everything like the time wise so [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah.

[SPEAKER_00]: I love that.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that laying your options is great and ask all the, yes, everything you just said, where can people find you?

[SPEAKER_00]: And like, if they're ready to start this, what would you recommend?

[SPEAKER_02]: Ah, we'd recommend to first, like, share the initial consultation, like, to see, like, where are we sending?

[SPEAKER_02]: And if we are right fit for them, there are, like, lots of agencies, lots of clinics, everybody has a different values and different sending, regarding surrogacy, and I think, like, for youth, like, to find what if we are sharing the same values and understanding about the surrogacy.

[SPEAKER_02]: So, [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_00]: And the consultation is free.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's free.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_00]: And if you mentioned the queer family podcast, and you are going to get services at the parent you get $2,000 off, which is amazing.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's not how applied for you.

[SPEAKER_00]: Any extra help goes a long way.

[SPEAKER_00]: Any extra help, really.

[SPEAKER_00]: So everybody go to beparencyergacy.com, right?

[SPEAKER_00]: That's the website.

[SPEAKER_00]: Beparencyergacy.com and book that consultation.

[SPEAKER_00]: Try them out.

[SPEAKER_00]: Ask the questions.

[SPEAKER_02]: We're here to go.

[SPEAKER_02]: I do as much as we can.

[SPEAKER_00]: I love it.

[SPEAKER_00]: And just after hearing an ancient Miguel story, I think you guys y'all are doing good work over there.

[SPEAKER_00]: So thank you for being here for our community.

[SPEAKER_00]: A huge thank you to our sponsors of this year episode, California Cryobank and Bee Parent Circusy.

[SPEAKER_00]: Learn more about them, find the promo codes and the links to their websites in the show notes.

[SPEAKER_00]: Make those babies y'all and then come tell me about them.

[SPEAKER_00]: Whew, well folks, I hope you enjoyed that episode as much as I enjoyed it.

[SPEAKER_00]: And if you did enjoy it, feel free to listen to another or watch another.

[SPEAKER_00]: I have so many episodes for your listening or viewing pleasure.

[SPEAKER_00]: Just go pick one and enjoy.

[SPEAKER_00]: There's a lot.

[SPEAKER_00]: They're really good.

[SPEAKER_00]: And also, if you really do like this show, please, I know I say it all the time, but please do consider supporting the show on Patreon.

[SPEAKER_00]: You're just gonna go to patreon.com, slash the queer family podcast.

[SPEAKER_00]: You're gonna pick a tear, you're gonna join, and you're gonna get that bonus content.

[SPEAKER_00]: And you're also gonna get my love and adoration for the rest of my life.

[SPEAKER_00]: I love you all.

[SPEAKER_00]: Thanks for tuning in, keep on tuning in.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I'll see you next time.