Episode Transcript
Manifestation is not magic.
Manifestation is not wishing and waiting.
Manifestation is not writing it once in a journal and closing the book.
Manifestation is not saying affirmations while avoiding action.
Manifestation is not the universe delivering without your participation.
Manifestation is not a shortcut around hard work.
It's clarity, belief, and consistent action.
In Alignment, the number one health and wellness podcast, Jay Sety Jay Chatty, Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose.
I'm Jay Chatty, author of New York Times bestsellers Think Like a Monk and Eight Rules of Love, and today I want to talk to you about a topic that I feel we're all completely fascinated by, but I think we really don't understand station.
There is so much about this word out there.
There's so many interpretations, there's so much about how to do it and what it is, and I feel like often we set ourselves up for failure by subscribing to a word that we don't fully understand, by subscribing to an idea that sounds good, it makes us feel good, but it doesn't really transfer into reality.
How many of you have ever tried to manifest a vision board and not seen it come to life.
How many of you have tried to repeat something constantly in affirmations and not seen it come to life.
How many of you have tried to manifest something big and beautiful in your life and actually felt like you went down the wrong path.
If that applies to any of you, this episode is for you, because I'm going to talk about the myths of manifestation and how to actually build the life that you truly want.
Myth number one, manifestation is magic.
We think if I think about it hard, it will appear.
Here's the reality.
Your brain isn't a genie, it's a GPS.
If you don't type in the address, it can't take you anywhere.
Do you ever get in the car and just start driving without a destination.
You'd waste gas, You'd waste time and energy.
That's what wishing without clarity does to your life.
Research from Locke and Latham's goal setting theory of two thousand and two show specific goals lead to higher motivation and success than vague intentions.
So here's what I want you to do.
I want you to swap I want to be successful for I want to grow my business revenue by twenty percent this year.
Vague wishes drift, clear goals direct.
So anyone who's saying manifestation is just I want abundance, I want to be free, I want to create greatness.
These are beautiful inspirations, there's nothing wrong with them, but without clarity, we don't know what action to take.
Your goal has to be clear, Your vision of what you're building has to be clear.
Now, I'm not saying that it's going to work out just as you think it is.
I'm not even saying you're going to get exactly what you envision.
But the truth is to start any journey, you need clarity.
Manifestation is not magic.
Manifestation is not wishing and waiting.
Manifestation is not writing it once in a journal and closing the book.
Manifestation is not saying affirmations while avoiding action.
Manifestation is not the universe delivering without your participation.
Manifestation is not a shortcut around hard work.
Manifestation is not about getting everything you want instantly.
Manifestation isn't magic.
It's clarity, belief, and consistent action in alignment.
For so many people, they may tell an amazing story about how they manifested something.
It's not that they didn't vision it.
It's not that they didn't have clarity.
They also aligned their action, their time, their energy, their resources in that direction.
Manifestation truly is the alignment of what you think, what you say, and what you do.
When those three things are aligned, that's what creates impact in the world and in your life.
Whereas when you think in your head, I want abundance, you say it out loud, but your actions are completely the opposite.
Nothing changes.
The problem is we think manifestation means if I think abundantly, then I'll be abundant in my business.
No, you might actually have a beautiful habit for happiness, But the strategy for sex is watching the patterns of success.
It's analyzing the journeys of success.
It's being locked into a different mind.
Myth number two is that positive thoughts alone attract success.
People think if I stay positive, the universe will deliver.
This sets us up for a lot of disappointment because I know so many people, good people who think positively, but then difficult things happen in their life.
Hard things happen in their life.
The reality is positivity is fuel, but it's not the vehicle.
It gets you moving, but you still have to drive.
Imagine this.
Think of going to the gym telling yourself, I believe in myself.
That won't build muscle unless you pick up the weights.
But it's great that it made you show up, So it's important.
It's just incomplete.
Barbara Fredrickson's Broaden and Build the shows positivity expands our creativity and problem solving, but without action, it just fades.
Here's your step.
Pair every affirmation with one action.
If you say I'm building wealth, then at the same time, set up an automatic transfer to savings as soon as you get your paycheck.
The moment you take action, your life will change.
The moment you take action, clarity replaces confusion the moment you take action, momentum begins.
The moment you take action, the right time finally arrives.
The moment you take action, you stop waiting for permission.
Notice how affirmation and action together creates alignment.
Affirmation on its own is wishful thinking.
Action on its own doesn't feel like it's fueled with a higher way of living.
Affirmation and action together are an unbeatable formula.
And so I want you to really think about in your life about the things you've been struggling with, the things you're always trying to pump yourself up about, and ask yourself, what habits have I not built?
What actions have I not built?
What systems have I not built?
We're not failed by our desires or our expectations.
We're failed by the systems we don't build.
We're failed by the processes we don't create.
We're failed by the criteria we don't have.
We're failed by the boundaries we don't make.
That's what fails us.
Myth number three, Writing it down is not enough.
We think I wrote in my journal, so it's on its way.
Here's the reality.
Writing helps focus the brain, but it's step one, not the finish line.
Think of it like making a grocery list.
Everyone needs one of those.
You need to know what you're missing, what you need to fill your fridge with what you need this week.
But if you never go to the store, the list doesn't feed you.
Research known as the generation effect shows writing improves memory and focus, but memory isn't momentum.
Here's the step after journaling, ad what's one step I can take today toward this?
If you write, start a podcast, your next step could be outline an episode, learn how to record a podcast, research a podcast.
For so many of us, we write down what we want.
We don't write down how we're going to get there.
It's the how we're going to get there that makes things seem manageable.
What our mind does is when we say I want to start a podcast that feels so big, we feel overwhelmed.
We feel overburdened by doing this huge thing.
When you break it down into all the multiple steps of how to get there, the key is to figure out the next step you can take right now.
The next step you can take right now, which is calling up a friend who has a podcast, watching podcasts to find out a format that works for you, looking up a YouTube video from a creator telling you how to start one.
Without those steps, you can think about starting a podcast for months and years, and nothing will ever happen.
Manifestation is clarity about what you want and what it takes.
Manifestation is writing it down and then building it step by step.
Manifestation is persistence when motivation fades.
Manifestation is aligning your choices with your values, not just your wishes.
If you just make it about your wishes, if you just make it about what you're writing.
If you don't ever make it about the how, right people say, start with why really important.
You should know why you're doing what you're doing.
You should know what you want to build.
But if you don't know how you're going to get there, it's almost the hardest thing.
If you don't know how you're going to get to the party on a Saturday night, if you don't know how you're going to get to your vacation destination, if you don't know how you're going to build that company, it becomes a lot harder.
Spend more time figuring out the how, and you'll know that you're making momentum.
You'll know you're making progress, you'll know you're moving in the right direction.
So the thing is, I really want you to get there.
I really want you to experience the joy of building something you love.
I don't just want it to remain a dream in your mind and your heart space that never gets to see the light of day.
Myth number four, The universe rewards wanting.
If I want it badly enough, I'll get it.
It does not work that way.
Desire its fuel, But direction is the map.
Without it, you spin in circles have you ever desperately wanted a job, relationship, or whatever it may be, but you had no strategy.
Desire without direction is like stepping on the gas with no steering wheel.
The reticular activating system, also known as RAS, filters what you notice, define a goal, and your brain literally starts spotting opportunities.
For example, once you think of buying a red car, you see them everywhere.
So here's the step.
Each morning, write down three things you want to notice that day, maybe new clients, learning opportunities, or ways to connect.
Your RAS will tune in.
This is so important if you have a goal to write a book, start a podcast, build a company, ask yourself what is it that you need.
I was talking to a friend the other day and I'd said to him how important it was for him to show up to networking events.
I said, if you're out of those events, you're going to meet people.
People are gonna see you, You're gonna get to connect with them.
He was avoiding it for months and months and months.
He finally went to one, and he was shocked at what it felt like to be front of mind.
When you're present, you get to have the conversations you would never get to if you weren't there.
So many of us avoid the actual action, even though in our mind we're wondering, why is this business not taking off?
Why is it not starting off?
Because we're not positioning ourselves in the places that we need to be.
Remember, you don't see things as they are.
You see them through your own fears and hopes.
You don't see yourself as you are.
You see the story you keep repeating about who you are.
You don't see the future as it is.
You see the version you believe is possible.
So many of us have the wish, we have the one, we have the desire.
We don't have the direction.
We don't have the drive.
And where does that drive come from?
Comes from picking something that you really value.
I mean, everyone would want to be financially free, everyone would want abundance.
Those are things we all want.
What does that look like for you?
How does that manifest for you?
When I say that, what I mean is how do you envision that?
How's it unique to you?
And how are you going to get there that's unique to you?
Myth number five, The path will be smooth if it's meant to be.
We think, if I face obstacle, maybe it's not my destiny.
The reality is, struggle doesn't mean you're on the wrong path.
It usually means you're on a real one right.
Struggle doesn't mean you're making a mistake.
Struggle could mean that you have a lot to learn to get to this goal.
If you have something you really value, don't change what you value, change the path to get there.
Ask any athlete, artist, or entrepreneur.
I've interviewed so many of them on the podcast.
The dream always comes with resistance.
You'll get to where you want in life, just not in the way you imagined it.
Pain isn't proof of misalignment.
It's proof you're growing.
It's proof it matters, and ultimately it reveals to you whether it matters enough.
If you give up because something's hard, it means you didn't care enough about the thing.
We do the most difficult things as humans for things we care about.
Parenting is one of the most thankless jobs.
It's one of the hardest jobs, but people do it because they love their child.
Their love outweighs the pain.
That's what purposes, That's what manifesting really is.
Is where your love for something, your dedication, your devotion to something is more than your pain, stress, and difficulty that you go through to get there.
Angela Duckworth's grit research shows sustained effort through challenges predicts achievement more than talent.
Here's a step.
When you hit resistance, reframe it.
This is the workout, not the wall.
Write down what this obstacle is teaching you.
Just because something is right for you doesn't mean it will be easy.
Just because something is meant for you doesn't mean it will come quickly.
Just because it's your purpose doesn't mean it won't test your patience.
Just because you found your calling doesn't mean you won't doubt yourself along the way.
And just because you're ready doesn't mean life won't make you wait.
If number six manifesting is passive, I just have to wait and trust.
I was at an event the other day and someone asked me about how do you surrender?
How do you create detachment?
How do you do something but then leave the result up to what's going on?
And here's what I said.
I said, surrender only starts when you've already done everything under your control, if you have given one hundred percent of your energy, if you have left no stone unturned, and if you have given it all you've got.
That's when surrender starts.
Sometimes we only do fifty percent of that, and then we're thinking, there's fifty percent of surrender.
That's not surrender, that's just hoping, wishing, and waiting.
Surrender says I've done everything I possibly could.
I've put in all the energy, knowledge and wisdom I have.
At this point in my life, I'm now detached from the result because I realized whatever comes is what's truly meant for me, and I have no idea of what I'm being prepared for.
I'll give you an example.
Eight years ago, when one of my videos went crazy viral on social media, a TV company in LA reached out to me and said they wanted to make a TV show.
I had no idea what that meant.
So I spoke to a friend who I thought made a TV show, someone who I was producing with.
We created a sizzle rule, we made a deck, We flew out to La on our own money.
I used to live in New York at that time.
I went and built this and went back and forth.
We went around and pitched it to every major's TV network and streamer at the time.
Everyone rejected it.
No one wanted it.
Now I had done everything I possibly could.
Was I upset?
Yes?
Was I disappointed, of course, But I'd done everything I possibly could to make that the best pitch I could have.
I was detached.
I was surrendered.
It's only because I got rejected that I started on purpose, something that was built by me, something that I started from scratch, something that I get to define who I speak to when I speak to them, what we talk about, where we go.
So I would never have this if I got given a TV show that could have lasted two to three seasons and got canceled, I will never have this opportunity.
Surrender begins when endeavor is complete.
If your endeavor is incomplete, there's no surrender.
It's just wishing, hoping, and wanting.
Put in all the energy that you possibly have, all the wisdom and knowledge you possibly have, and then surrender to the fact that what you receive may save you for what's to come.
I was given something better than I imagined in on purpose, than I could have ever imagined from any show I could have created.
Waiting isn't manifesting, it's stalling.
Action is what flips vision into reality.
Imagine planting seeds and then sitting indoors hoping they grow without watering, sunlight, or care.
That's what waiting does to your dreams.
Research by Bandura's self efficacy theory shows confidence comes from doing small things successfully, not from waiting for a big break.
Here's a step.
Break one big dream into a seven day goal.
You want to change careers, update your resume this week.
Momentum builds confidence.
Myth number seven, manifestation is about stuff.
We think if I manifested money, a car, a house, I'll be happy.
And here's the reality.
Stuff is a byproduct of meaning and value that you create.
It's not bad, it's great to have, it's wonderful to have, but it can't be the goal in and of itself.
Here's the context.
How many times have you gotten what you wanted, the promotion, the gadget, the trip, and still felt empty after a week.
That's because fulfillment is about alignment with values, not just getting the thing I SAIDs From the Harvard Study of Adult Development.
This is the Grant study that lasted over eighty five years shows quality relationships, not wealth or fame, are the strongest predictors of long term happiness.
Now I'm not saying and I always want to clarify this.
Wealth is important.
Success is important.
That's why we have so many amazing money experts on on Purpose to help you figure that out.
When you write a goal, add your why.
So don't just write I want one hundred thousand dollars salary or whatever it may be.
Right, I want one hundred thousand dollars salary so I can have freedom to travel, take care of my parents, and live without stress.
When you make the end goal about a thing or stuff, it ends up letting you down versus when that is just a byproduct of creating value in success.
If you analyze patterns, you'll become successful.
If you learn how to market your product, you'll become successful.
If you learn how to solve someone's problem, you'll become successful.
If you do all those things, the car, the house, the travel, that will all come from that.
So that's what you want to put your energy into, not the vision of what that thing is that you want.
That doesn't drive.
That doesn't make you a better salesperson, It doesn't make you a better marketer.
It doesn't make you a better coder.
It doesn't make you a better user of AI.
It doesn't make you a better videographer photographer, but looking at a picture of the car or the house you want every day.
That will come by becoming better at your art, better at your skill.
That's what you want to focus on.
Don't overvalue the goal and undervalue the growth.
Don't overvalue speed and undervalue direction.
Don't overvalue success and undervalue sanity.
Don't overvalue approval and undervalue authenticity.
Don't overvalue being right and undervalue being kind.
Don't overvalue recognition and undervalue can and see.
Don't overvalue the outcome and undervalue the process.
Don't overvalue what you gain and undervalue who you become.
It's not about wanting for the universe to deliver.
It's about getting clear, rewiring your brain to see opportunities, and taking consistent steps until your vision becomes a reality.
Thank you so much for listening to me.
I hope you enjoyed this episode.
Pass it on to a friend, Tag me on social media and let me know what resonated with you, and I'll see you on the next episode.
Remember I'm forever in your corner and I'm always rooting for you.
If you love this podcast, you love my episode with Lewis Hamilton Lewis and I talk about why you should stop chasing society's definition of success and how to be more intentional with your goals.
You don't want to miss it like it's not about being perfect.
It's about just every day, one step at the time, trying to be better, trying to do more.
I'm learning a lot about myself.
I have to break myself down in order to be out to be better.
