These are, in most cases the fathers of my grandchildren.

I love these men and that love doesn't go away when we experience really challenging times with them.

Chris Jenna, Welcome to on Purpose.

I'm so excited to be here.

My kids have come before me to get the lay of the land, and well, you know, we love you dearly.

I'm such a huge fan.

Love listening to the podcast, love listening to anytime I get the opportunity to see you online giving a motivational speech or you know, different things that you do.

It's so inspirational to me, and I know how much my girls love you, so I had to come see for myself what was going on over here.

Well, as I was saying, Chris, you and your family have been so gracious and kind to me from day one.

I am remember the early days of Chloe sharing something that I'd done in twenty nineteen, or Kendall was starting to follow me and then connect thing and then Kim has just been amazing over the last couple of years and finally getting to meet you.

And I want to start with this because I remember when I came over for dinner, uh huh, and everyone afterwards like what was it like in a Chris's house for dinner and like, And I was like, and it was me, you and Kendall, And I said to everyone, I was like, I felt like I was at my friend's mom's house.

I was like, all you wanted to do was make sure I'd eaten enough, hr was well fed and taken care of.

And I was so touched by just that amazing energy that you have of making everyone feel at home, making everyone feel welcome.

And whenever I see you, whether it's at a party or an event or one of our mutual friend's birthdays that we were just at, I always just feel so happy when we're talking.

So thank you so much, truly, it means the world.

Oh well, thank you for having me.

It really means the world to me.

And I really enjoyed that night because I got to know you a little bit more on a personal level and just heard about what you were all about, what your intentions are with people, and how you want to help people and bring people together.

And in a world where everybody's torn apart, especially in the last decade or so, how crazy everything seems, I think for us to have that beacon of someone we can look up to to say, hold on, you know, let's look at this a different way and try to find something peaceful in all of it.

And so for that I appreciate you so much.

Thank you.

Well, I want to get to know the Chris oh boy that I believe we forget existed because today we live in a world where we're so preoccupied with what everyone does today we forget how they became and how they were creating.

I wanted to ask you, what's a childhood memory that you remember that you feel defines who you are today.

Oh, my goodness, a childhood memory, Well, I think you know.

Growing up, I just I was really raised by my mom and my grandmother and two really strong business women who worked and showed me that how powerful that can be, just not just out there in the world to show others, but for yourself, like how to beat somebody that you were really proud of, but also provided for their families and then taught their children and grandchildren how to be strong, intelligent, caring, you know, loving moms, but also you know, you know, working women who really were of a different generation.

You know, when my mom was very young, when she was in her twenties, she had me when she was twenty.

My grandmother was forty, and you know, I was just born, and so there's always been a twenty year age difference, and then of course forty years with my grandmother.

And they taught me that working and having a career was just part of our lifestyle and our family.

And that meant so much to me because they were such an inspiration.

And my mom also showed me what it was like to you know, get dressed up every day.

She loved fashion, she loved this is how you want to present yourself to the world every day, Like how do you want to look when you go to third grade, you know, or even Junior.

I or high school.

And it really was something when I look back on it now, I'm so proud of those two women who raised me because they showed me what it's like to you know, have a career and how to take care of a home, and what it was like to be married, what it was like to have children.

And I know, when I was sixteen years old, I really realized That's when I knew I wanted to have a lot of kids.

And I actually had the number six in my I had at that very early age.

Wow.

Really, uh, huh.

I used to think I'm going to have six kids, and then when I ended up getting divorced and I had four kids, I thought, boy was I off a couple of kids, And then I ended up having two more.

But growing up with the family I grew up with, I felt, I do feel so blessed to have had a very privileged, caring, loving home and childhood, and I think it's something that I'll always be grateful for.

And I talked to my mom, who's ninety one, about it all the time.

I think I always thank her for all the sacrifices and working late, and sometimes, you know, she wasn't necessarily you know, at home when I got home from school with chocolate chip cookies fresh out of the oven and making me, you know, a roast beef dinner.

But she was there working her ass off, you know, for me and my sister and for that.

And then my grandmother, you know, lived across the street, so my grandmother was doing all the grandma things, and so it really gave me a good sense of family unity, closeness.

You know, it fed my spirituality because I went to church every Sunday and was you know, had you know, communion and all the things that you do as a young girl whose mom is taking them to church every Sunday and teaching you all the things.

And it was a huge part of my life, that childhood of just being not only I had so many friends and went to public school which was down the street.

My mom's priority when I was a child was always moved next to the school because you can walk to school, So we were walking to school, not a care in the world.

We had no seatbelts in the cars, driving around in the back of my mom's My mom had a convertible tea bird when I was a little girl, and throw us in the back on a shelf and we'd be bouncing around.

And by the way, I did the same thing with my kids, Courtney and Kimberly when I had them, and Chloe and then Robert.

Everyone in the back of the station wagon, no seatbelts, just fifteen kids in the back section, shoved together like sardines, taking everybody everywhere.

So so many memories of things that were so different from I remember my first color TV, when and where I lived in what house I could like imagine what corner of the room it was in, and how exciting that was so, you know, I can also remember getting my first iPhone, you know, I mean, talk about bizarre.

You know, the contrast of the two.

Did you those brick phones, the really big.

Oh yeah, nineteen ninety nineteen, nineteen ninety one, and you'd make a call.

You thought you were so cool cruising down the highway with a brick in your hand, you know, and there was no rules on.

You could talk to anybody, you could talk on the phone while you were driving, you could eat a burger while you were driving to on the street.

It's amazing all the different changes culturally, you know, and just personally, just all the different chapters I've had in my life.

It's like every single one is so clear.

But if you take it like the first, you know, one through ten, ten through twenty twenty through thirty, and just keep going, it's like there's so many huge, magical things that have happened in each chapter.

And I think that's the way I look at it now.

At my age, you know, you have so much perspective, and it changes from decade to decade, So I consider myself really lucky.

Yeah.

Wow, it's incredible hearing about it, because I love that your mother and your grandmother were just such big influences and role models in your life.

What what did they do?

What were they doing at the time.

My grandmother was an accountant and then later opened a candle store called the Candle Ober in La Joya, California, and my mom opened another candle store nearby under Gararge Street.

And they were entrepreneurs.

And they got up every morning at five o'clock and they had a routine and they had structure, and they had their coffee and had breakfast and got dressed like to the nines, you know, like gorgeous, went to work, worked all day were so you know, it's very satisfying to in the day with a full day's work under your belt.

You feel like you've really accomplished something.

And I knew that feeling because I lived it my whole life, so it was kind of embedded in me that I too couldn't wait to have a career or start working.

I mean, my first job was I worked in my grandmother's candle store and I was the gift drapper and I would be I was twelve years old, and I love to go to work with my grandmother and my mom, but I was at my grandmother's store, and she'd put me in the back room and she taught me how to gift, drap and make bows, and I was the best gift I could possibly be, and I made the most beautiful bows in my mind, on the planet.

And she taught me then, no matter what you do, you do the best job you can possibly do.

If she was the one who I had to brush my teeth for some reason a lot when I was young, every time I had anything to eat, brush your teeth, brush your teeth.

But she had this rule that if you brush your teeth at my grandmother's house, then you had to clean the sink with like comet or ajax or one of those crazy things.

And I would scrub that sink like it was like my only you know, polish, polish polish, and she would sit there and say, you have the most beautiful hands, and you have She would just give me these the most sweetest compliments about and then said you you are really the best sink washer in the family.

And I was like, wow, okay, you know.

So it gave me confidence that if you really you know, she taught taught me that no matter how big or small the job, just do the best you can and you'll be praised for it.

And that just instilled something in me.

Yeah, and then of course I tortured my own children wash the sink the best.

You know, they're like their eyes.

As you's not.

No, I'm the best sink scrubbery you'll ever see?

Do you still wrap Christmas presents?

Presents every all day?

I wrapped one this morning before I came here.

Yeah, I didn't do a bow because it was a different kind of a package.

But I think my kids really we have a big contest during the holidays and at Christmas, it's like who's got the best wrapping paper?

But we don't tell each other what gift drop we're doing.

We like it to be a surprise.

Well, I do Christmas morning and all the kids' gifts are dropped off at my house and we all have a section like you know of there and so we know, oh, these are all Kym's gifts because they're wrapped like.

Well, She's stopped by my house last year because she wanted to check out how her gifts looked, to make sure they were positioned perfectly right.

I'm like, oh Lord, So she comes by and little did I know she whips out her phone and she starts doing like it was either a live or something on Instagram, and she shows the entire world all of our packages.

So now all the sisters and everybody knew and.

What you're yeah, yeah, so she gave it away.

Yeah, and then yeah.

So these are just all the pranks.

I think we play on each other, you know, constantly, all day long.

So Kim was trying to expose you, that was I think.

So.

I think she was being you know, she was being cute.

She's always so great.

I love it.

I remember, I remember when we were speaking when I came over.

You're talking about you being an air hostess, as you're one of your own.

It was a flight attendant, flight attendant.

Yeah.

I went from the candle store and I learned so much there.

And then I worked at the donut shop by my house in University City in San Diego, and I would take my job was to get there before school and before I had to get on the bus to go to high school or junior high school, I guess, and I would take a scraper and scrape the glaze off of the floor that the donuts, you know, when they were glazing the donuts.

There would be this glaze all over the floor, and I would scrape the glaze off of the floor.

And that was my job every morning before school.

And I then worked at my mom's store again, and then I applied to be a flight attendant for American Airlines and that was an amazing job.

But looking back on that, I learned so much from that job.

So every single thing I did, I learned enormous organizational skills and people's skills and social intelligence, and you know, some other skills like how to pour a great cup of coffee and how to you know, serve people and how to interact with people and personal service business is incredibly demanding, you know.

And now I look at all of the people in that kind of a business a different way and have so much respect for that kind of a career.

But I learned a lot along the way of how to deal with people.

And I think that working from a young age and continuing up to this day, I learned a thing or two about so many different things that you wouldn't think would apply to later in life.

Tell me some of this, you know, well, just I mean organizational skills for one, and how to keep calendars and how to be on time, and how to be fifteen minutes early, and how to negotiate and how to get what you think you want or deserve from an employer.

I know, one of my things I talk about is if somebody says, no, you're talking to the wrong person.

And I learned that if I got a know from these three people in ski scheduling, for example, with American Airlines, then I would go to another person and you know, try my best charm.

You know that I could possibly think of, you know, of what were all the reasons why I should fly this flight to get to la you know, to see who I wanted to see.

And you just hone different life skills at the different things you do at a young age, especially in the workforce, and it's really amazing.

You never quite know what or where life is going to lead you and where it's going to be.

The best lesson you ever learned.

And that's what just to expect nothing but breathe in everything.

Like just like I was, so I was like a sponge and I think I just had to surrender to the process, if you know what I mean.

It was just like I knew instinctively I'm on a learning journey, and I'm going to get the most out of these experiences that I possibly could.

At the time, and I knew that.

I really did know that intelligently and in the moment, and I don't know why, but I just knew I had to pay attention.

Yeah, I think there's such an important lesson in what you're saying for everyone who's listening.

I feel like we've done a disservice to a lot of young people today where we believe it's all about finding the perfect job or launching the perfect company, right, And actually, from your experience, what you're saying is I learned a lot from the candle store.

I learned a lot from scrapetas floors.

I learned a lot from being a flight attendant.

It's like each of these experiences, even though they weren't your perfect job or your ideal life, there were really valuable lessons that have made you the powerful, incredible.

It developed who I am and was at that time and then came to be all through each decade.

And the more I, you know, went through life and was knocked down or brought up or had you know, experiences and had these things that I went through, I think added to.

But I also believe that everything happens for a reason.

I'm very spiritual.

I pray about everything before I do it, and I learned that a lot about that from a very young age, and it just really has helped me through so many great times and so many, you know, challenging times.

But I also think that I come from a place now in this decade of great gratitude, and I think that's what people don't always experience daily.

I think it's been a learning experience for me.

Of course, I'm grateful.

Of course I have gratitude for everything that my life is, this beautiful life with my beautiful family, and I couldn't ask for more.

But to really be conscious of being grateful has been something I've worked on for the last few years and try to be more present because we can be so easily distracted, and everybody's going so fast, and I feel like everybody needs to slow down, you know, it's so fast.

And I see the younger generation, but I think the younger one then the next one down from Kindle and Kylie.

I don't remember what they're called anymore.

Gen Z and gen Alpha Okay, Alpha, yeah, Alpha, I guess it's alpha, right right, I think the gen alpha.

It's like I wish you could just slow down and experience and be in the moment a little bit more, because I always struggled with that.

I always onto the next something to look forward to.

That distractions are everywhere, and so then you don't feel what you're living through or going through.

And we're so busy taking photos of it or videos of it, we don't sit and feel it or enjoy it.

I remember I went to the sphere the other night and it was a Wizard of Oz.

Oh, well, I want to see that.

It's really good.

And I was there with my girlfriend and I now, mind you, I was ten years old or nine years something when at the first time I saw the Wizard of Oz and or that I remembered it and enjoyed it.

And I've seen it one hundred thousand times, so I didn't need to video anything.

I knew what the movie was about, Like what am I doing?

And I caught myself and I why am I filming this whole thing?

Like I want to sit and experience it.

And that's just a good example of how I think that a lot of us go through life is trying to capture the moment when we can just slow down and feel the moment, you know.

And that's what I want for me and my family because we do get very distracted and it goes by so quickly in a heartbeat.

And I think that's what when you're my you want to scream that from the top of a mountain.

You know, everybody slow down and enjoy every second, because all of a sudden it's gone, and you know, everybody has to figure it out for themselves.

But that I wish, you know, because I've had all these different decades to compare it to and have a different perspective every so often every few years.

That's one of my notes to note to self.

Just try to enjoy it and not get distracted by the noise.

Yeah, this is a lot of noise.

This episode is brought to you by eBay.

When I was growing up, there was this piece of art that hung in our home right by the staircase.

I'd walk past it every single day.

At the time, I didn't think much of it.

It was just that, But when I moved away, I started to realize how much that piece meant to me.

Me and my family.

Dinner's laughter and the warmth of being home.

It became this quiet symbol of comfort and belonging.

Years went by, and somewhere along the way that artwork got lost.

I assumed I'd never see it again.

But one day, on a whim, I searched for it online and there it was, the exact same piece on eBay.

When it arrived, I took it out of the box and I just stood there for a moment looking at it.

It felt like I'd brought a piece of my childhood back into my life.

It's amazing how an object can carry so much emotions, so much memory.

Sometimes it's not about what we buy, but what it brings back to us, the people, the places, the feelings we thought we'd lost.

That's what I love about eBay.

It's not just about finding things, it's about rediscovering memories, reconnecting with who we were, and keeping those stories alive in our homes today.

Shop eBay for millions of fines, each with a story.

eBay Things people Love.

You were making me think about.

There's a meditation practice that I love that I practice when I feel i'm disturbed by the noise.

And it's really simple.

It's called five four three two one, and it's let me look at the five things I can see.

So you look around this memory and you look at the colors and the texture.

I love that apes.

And the visuals so wizard of ours.

And then four things you can touch.

So it could be your daughter's hand or your mother's hand, it could be the clothes you're wearing.

The texture that you can feel, whether it's smooth or harsh.

Then it's three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste.

Oh wow, And anytime I've ever done this, and I was thinking about a particular moment.

I went to Bhutan last year and I was actually teaching this meditation.

I can close my eyes today and be back in that place in Ah.

I love that because it was so real, because you took it in and so yeah, to really to really let it sink in, it's such you're you're absolutely right.

Well, you know, I think somebody of my age has a different perspective because I spent you know, when I was twenty two years old, I got married and twenty three had Courtney, and you know the rest is history.

But there were no cell phones, there wasn't a computer.

There wasn't a laptop, there wasn't an iPad, there wasn't music on a little box.

There wasn't If you wanted to talk to somebody on the phone, you had to walk into the kitchen and dial a plastic telephone.

And if you wanted to know what was at the movies, you dialed a number like whatever it was, and you found out what was playing at the movies.

And if you wanted to know what time it was, you dialed.

I think it was five five five one two one two, And if that's right, I will be so excited about my memory.

But it was, you know, a different time, and today, with so many things that just supply instant gratification, it's extremely seductive, and I think that it's it's something like I think about it all the time, and I think, what a different world, but yet such progress, such amazing.

The world we live in is wild and amazing.

I mean when I was a young girl, a little girl, I used to watch the Jetsons kind of remember that, and it was sort of intimating that by the year twenty twenty, we would be flying in cars around the city.

You know, we wouldn't even have cars that were on the road anymore.

And so you know, we're almost there.

Yeah, almost, but it you know, we used to imagine this modern world and here we are.

So it's very exciting.

But you never know what's going to happen next.

I mean, I worry a little bit.

I worry a lot about my grandchildren and social media.

That scares me a bit because it can be so dark, and I really want them to have the best parts of anything.

I mean, in life, there's good and bad, but in this case, you know, I worry about that.

I just want them to and I think their moms, you know, all my kids are really responsible about trying to control screen time and all of that.

But it's different, it's a different place.

Yeah, there's a lot of noise.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

You're approaching your seventieth birthday.

Yeah, just so exciting.

Uh huh.

And what an incredible molestone.

What's this chapter of your life called?

If you can name it, what would it be called?

Oh, my goodness, the best, the best chapter.

I'm happy to be here and to really have this beautiful family and just enjoy the ride because, like I said, just to be present at this time and place.

I did learn a lot from my family from my grandmother and my mom, who both worked and said they were in their eighties and I saw.

Wow, yeahble.

And my mom often says she retired when she was eighty two, and she often says that really kept her so purposeful.

And we all want to find that life of purpose, but for her, it gave her a great purpose and it gave her great joy, and she was so satisfied with the work she did every day and got to you know, I think when somebody has structure and has a schedule and has something to look forward to and has something like that in their life and feels needed and wanted, useful and useful, and that's a very good feeling.

And I think that's that's the road I'm going to go down.

I just want to, you know, be.

Never never, No.

I love what I do, and I often say this wouldn't be as easy without my entire family and doing what we do together, because you know, there's a lot of people out there that have, you know, a job in entertainment or in the media or whatever it is, and they have a big career and they do it by themselves, and they're the only one in their family who has that kind of a career, that kind of a job, and I thought how lonely it would be if there is just one of us.

It would be so hard, And so I feel super blessed that I have this incredibly fabulous family and all this love and support, and it makes it really a very sweet life.

Yeah, what a special achievement to have that.

How have you?

You know?

One thing I've noticed spending time with all of you and having as I said earlier, Kim, Chloe and Kendall have all sat in this chair preparing it for you.

There's there's such a love between everyone and the family, and of course there's the fun of the what's the right word, the fun of the teasing each other and the bandage.

But at the core of it, it's it's so evident that there's love and it's real and it's and it's and it's genuine.

How do you create a family in which competition isn't a negative thing and growth is everyone's focus, Because I think what we see across the world is, you know, you have six children, but it's like people may have two and then you have one person who really ambitious and driven and one person who just wants to eide away.

Whereas you've got a family of people who are all ambitious in different ways.

They all have their own fascinations, their own passions, and they're pursuing it to the best their ability, which is such a beautiful thing to see.

How how do you create that energy?

What does that require?

I think, first of all, when they were very young, I think they learned so much from the examples set by their dad or just myself in different areas, their stepdad, their family, their friends, and we've always had a huge group of family friends, and I think they watch and had great examples set before them.

But I think that one of my biggest and strongest desires in my path to the success that they've had is just really helping them along the way identify what was really important to them.

And they were passionate about and we threw a lot of spaghetti at the wall.

Believe me, it was crazy.

But when they finally found their destiny, their passion, the opportunities that came their way that they wanted to embrace and were so happy about, you just feel when something's right, and that makes me really happy.

Every time I felt like somebody found their their their thing, you know, their their passion was was that strong that they were able to really make this something they wanted to focus on.

And the determination, the energy they put into it, their work ethic is second to none.

And they would get up with this you know passion every day, you know, getting up at five and you know, getting into the gym and taking care of their health and their well being and then at the same time having kids, raising children, getting to work.

You know, it's just they all have such focus and determination, but they also have great structure.

They're organized, and then they learn how to find their peace at the same time, which I think is really important.

And I think that's something that Courtney's really good at that, and she's taught the rest of us, you know, like wait a second, you know there's you've got to you know, find the peace and all of it too and protect your soul.

Yeah, you know, so that's been really really important.

I think it's just working together, encouraging one another, and when someone is successful, we're all so excited for that person's success, no matter how it comes.

And it could be the smallest little you know, not everything moves a needle, and it can be the smallest little wind and we get really happy for each other.

Like last night when I was blonde.

All of my kids this morning were screaming, Mom, and then Kim goes, did you dye your hair?

And I said, yes, of course I didn't dye my hair, but I had her going for a while.

Yeah.

We were trying to figure out this morning when they were going to get blonde hair of that care.

Yeah.

So it's fun to work together.

It's fun to you know, go through challenges together.

It's awful to go through really bad times together, but we're together, so it's important, and it's you know, when we get to celebrate each other over the smallest things or the biggest things.

I think the kids are just happy for each other and there really isn't any jealousy, which makes me really proud, you know.

And they're very vocal and loud when something bugs them or when something needs to be said.

Don't you worry.

They're there, my loudest voice at times in my head.

But we all I think we're just all happy for one another, and we know we're doing this together.

And somebody's success in my family is sort of a halo effect.

I feel like it is good for everyone, and you know, especially business wise, but it's just really good for all of us personally because we get to see each other grow and thrive and evolve and elevate different things, like we'll get notes to each other.

Okay, well this was great, but if you only did this, it would be so much better.

So everybody you know is a backseat driver, yeah, or what do you call it?

Sideline quarterback?

Yeah, everybody's weighing in on everybody else's stuff.

So it's fun.

It makes it a we're our own little you know we have I have thirteen grandchildren.

Imagine that's a lot of humans, and we have an amazing little, you know bubble that we live in and that we are so dedicated to one another and very loyal and looking for that piece that we can surround ourselves with when we can with family time.

Yeah, I just wanted to acknowledge how how hard it is to do that.

It's it's hard.

It's so hard to be able to create a non competitive, non envious, non jealous family space system.

I think it's it's not easy.

Yeah, whether it's happened naturally because of all these great values, or whether it's happened through hardship, it's probably the most significant achievement that one could ever have is it's lovely.

It really is lovely, and I'm so proud of them for being there.

And if somebody gets into trouble or somebody you know needs help with anything, everyone is right there to jump in and make it okay.

And it's it's interesting that you know, they're very, very loyal and very protective, and they surround each other with a lot of love, and the fact that they're also amazing parents is the biggest gift.

I watch them as my son has a daughter, and everyone except for Kendalls, you know, has a son or a daughter or both, and they're amazing parents.

And I often sit and tell them.

I'll sit and watch Kylie or Chloe, all of them, Kim Rob Courtney, but I watch them with their kids and I just take it all in and I say, God, I wish I would have been this good as a parent with you, because I feel like they take it to another level.

I've never seen anything so amazing, literally in my life.

I talk to my mom about it all the time.

I go, can you believe the way they do this and that and the other, And my mom and I are in awe of what great parents they are, and I think they are.

You know, people ask me all the time, how do we keep our kids as close or how do I?

And I think it's just the time you spend and what you focus on and the way that you, you know, spend time with your kids and and show them that you're never going to you know, I didn't have kids to on their eighteenth birthday kick them out of the house.

My girlfriend used to say, you're too nice.

You know, you're not their friend, you're their mother.

And I looked at her and I said, oh, no, I'm their friend because they're going to be eighteen one day and I'm not going to be left out of this big, beautiful life that you know that I want to have with them.

How do you love someone that you don't agree with?

How do you love someone that you have got something with that didn't work out?

And by the way, I'm saying this because I've had private conversations with you where you've talked to me about these things and I'm r gown away by it.

Right, So I'm like, how do you love someone even when something hasn't worked out the way you wanted to?

Right?

Because I know it's deep for you.

That's what I'm asking.

Yeah, I think you start with communication, and I think that's where you have to start to really feel and understand.

Cry.

Sorry, I don't know why I'm emotional about this, but I think you just have to understand where somebody's coming from.

Sorry, Jay, Okay, is there a tissue you guys?

I don't know why that hits so hard, But I think communication, I think compassion is key into really feeling what somebody might be going through, even though you don't agree with them.

If you once love them, then love is love, you know.

And I always fall in love with people, and then if they disappoint you it Sorry, I don't know why I'm crying.

See what I said, It's right there under the surface.

Sometimes you just get me.

But I think communication is I pre communication, And I think if if somebody's misunderstood, I get on a soapbox sometimes to try to say no, no, no, you just don't understand.

You know, this didn't happen like this and they really didn't mean it like this, or you know.

I'm always the one who tries and communicates that.

But I think, God, what's wrong with me?

But I also think that compassion.

If you don't have an open heart and you're stuck with trying to understand someone, you will be lost forever until you can try and see and forgive.

And I think if people can't come from a place of forgiveness, then they'll be stuck forever.

You know, you have to be open to understanding what's someone else is truly all about.

And why I stand up for people who are the underdog.

At times it makes me really sad that they're the underdog.

And I feel like some people get really misunderstood, and I think that we all need to stand up for each other, especially when we need it the most.

And that comes from a conversation.

It comes from a communication, It comes from a compassion, and it comes from forgiveness.

And if you can't learn to forgive someone, whether it's their behavior, their words, their actions, you know, I think my kids tell me all the time, I'm a very forgiving person, like a mom.

It's wild You're just like this person treated you this way or that way, or you experience this with this person, and I try to see where it came from, what is the root of this, why are they acting this way?

And then again, if I can't change it.

I can't control it.

I can't control somebody else or their actions, right, you can't control other people.

So you know you have to either ignore it, fight for it, help explain it, help communicate it, and forgive it.

I don't know, I don't know how else.

That's how I live my life.

And if somebody, you know, a lot of people are struggling and there's a lot of.

You know, it's.

Sorry, you just need a second, I'm sorry, Okay.

So there are a lot of people out there who struggle with their mental health and we don't know some times with the differences because we're not inside their brain or their body.

So who are we to say, you know that somebody's not really struggling sick, you know, having a hard time, And there's so much of that and not really immediate answers and help for everybody.

You know, when you can't figure it out, sometimes you think how does everybody deal with this?

You know?

So that's I don't know.

I have a lot of compassion for people that are in a family where there's mental health issues.

It makes me really sad.

Yeah, it's something definitely trying to support and help, and I'm glad you need to here, because it's.

Oh, it makes me.

I mean I sometimes I you know, hear about people or you know, hear about what somebody's going through and I literally don't even know them, and I'm in tears and it just breaks my heart because of the situation right now that we're in, and I think we make it worse for one another, you know, the criticism, the negativity online and the struggle that a lot of people have and the amount of suicide for young people.

Yeah, I mean it's truly heartbreaking, and I hear stories and it just really is so upsetting and that it you know, I struggle with that in my heart because I just wish there was more that we all could do just to love each other and be there for each other, and maybe there was a way that we could help in a bigger way.

You know.

It's very confusing.

Yeah, yeah, we just I literally just had the head of suicide from Harvard on the show.

Really yeah, I just interviewed him maybe a month ago, oh wow show, and it was so illuminating to hear just how much help people when mental health or thoughts are even seeking.

But even in that yeah, just how like how hard is and how heavy it is, and I think heavy.

So it's heavy in my heart and I don't have an immediate you know, child or family member that's struggling with that at the moment, and I think about it for some reason a great deal as if you know, maybe there's some way to There's a lot of things, a lot of issues that I right now I'm in the process of focusing on and getting more information on.

One of them is dementia and Alzheimer's.

And that's why I love doctor Amon so much because he's such an educator, absolutely, but the mental health thing is very confusing to me because it's so I don't feel like my in the chapter I'm in in my life right now that I've ever experienced this volume of people that are hurting and struggling, And yeah, is it probably because our communication is enhanced with being able to see it all on the internet and you know all of that.

But it's still a lot, and it does get very heavy and it heavy in my heart.

It does.

I'm not definitely offline about that to see, Yeah, you know, it's I feel the same way.

It is why I invited Matthew Knock from Harvard and I'm so so glad because because I couldn't agree with you more.

I was just hearing so many stories and learning of so many people.

And he told me that his friend committed suicide, even when he knew his friend was the head of no.

Yeah, we're studying that like so, and he said, I just didn't know, like we just didn't know.

No one knew, no one knows, no one knows.

And that's what the the tragic part of it is.

And there's been so many times when I mean even you know, parents of my you know, kids, friends or you know, there's always one degree of separation, and it's you know, every single person has something like that or they know about it, they've heard about it a close friend happened or right in their own family, and it's devastating.

I know people that have lost people close to them and there's just no closure there for a lot of people.

But how they get to that place is really a struggle.

Boy, Can we talk about something happy?

How did we get here?

I'm crying, I'm hysterical, a mess.

Let's talk about disney Land or something.

Are you a disney fan?

Oh my god?

Yeah, you know it's the happiest place or not.

It is definitely is.

I went last week with Courtney our Small World, Pirates of the Caribbean and the Haunted Mansion because they just opened it for Yeah, and I go to Disney.

I work for Disney.

I want to be white.

Yeah, all of it.

I love it.

Yeah, I'm excited to go to the Epic Universe and Universal.

Oh yes, they just opened they opened it with the new Harry Potter World and all the rest.

Wait, is that Disney.

That's universe a university.

This is not.

It's theme park world.

That's your that's your thing.

Okay.

Have you been to the Star Wars ride Disneylands?

So good?

Yeah, it's insane, it's amazing.

So oh there you go.

See we have something else in common?

We do?

We do?

I am, I'm completely I've completely drank the kool aid on Disney.

Yeah, me too.

Is the happiest place.

Every day, happiest place on earth?

Yes, sir, Yes, sir, Chris.

When we've spoken offline, I've always been blown away by how you've When you keep talking about family, I think people think, oh, yeah, they're six kids, right, But to you, the family is even your kids' exes.

Right, Yes, partners, Yes, people.

Like it grows.

Even if one of your children has been through something really difficult with their partner or an ex partner, you still love them as part of the unit and the family.

I do, and that is incredible.

Talk to me about how you expand that radius of care and love.

First of all, I believe in my heart and in my soul love is love.

And I fall in love with people and have lives and years spent with their partners or their boyfriends or their husbands, and have all these memories and travels and Christmas mornings and celebrations and birthdays and all the fun, the laughter, the joy, the tears, the babies.

These are in most cases the fathers of my grandchildren.

And I love these men, and that love doesn't go away when we experience really challenging times with them.

It just doesn't turn off like that for me.

And I think that goes back to communication, compassion, forgiveness, and moving through that so you can get to a place where they know they can always come to me.

Every one of my kids' exes know that they have an open door, and I think that's how I was with my kids when they were little and I got a divorce and I got married to Bruce, and when that happened, Robert knew that he come walking in that back.

It took a couple of years, but it was what I had learned from people that were in my life in previous years.

I saw the co parenting skills that other couples, two couples in particular, But these two couples handled their experience of how they loved their kids.

It was all about the kids.

Because if you sit and berate your partner over and over and over again to the kids or your ex partner, your ex boyfriend, your ex husband, you know it's their dad or it's their stepdad, or that you can't do that.

It really creates so much damage psychologically, emotionally, physically, spiritually, all of it.

The children don't know how to process that kind of It's a grief, it's a separation.

So my goal with my children was always their dad comes for Christmas morning, and we spend New Year's together and birthdays and celebrations.

Robert Kardashian came to Kendall and Kylie's first birthdays and he was there for every celebration, and they called him uncle Robert.

And he walked through that back door whenever he wanted, knowing there would be dinner on the table at six o'clock and he was always welcome.

And it's the same way I now treat all of my kids' exes, which a lot of people don't understand because if they treated them badly, but we've all dealt with those issues internally and privately, and we don't need to talk about these things anymore.

It's been done, it's dealt with.

We've done it, we've talked about it.

We all know what happened, you know, we've had it on the show or whatever's happened in our lives.

Now it's time to grow the fuck up, be mature.

And I love who I've loved, and I don't like what they've done, No I don't, but it doesn't make the love get any less overnight.

And I'm there for them always.

And these are the fathers of my grandchildren.

What would my grandkids think, you know, twenty years from now if their grandmother treated their dad poorly or I wasn't loving and kind and compassionate and forgiving.

So I teach my kid's forgiveness.

It's one of the biggest lessons that I can teach them to forgive somebody who's treated you badly and.

Move on.

You may not completely forget, but you need to forgive.

You need to let it go.

It's not good for your soul.

It's too much pressure on your heart, you know.

And I do love them, and I do love who they are, and I love their families.

It's like with Travis Scott.

I'm close to Travis, and I love his mom and his dad and his sister and his brother.

They're family to us and we share celebrations together.

And same with Tristan who comes walking in the back door and has you know, hey, Mom, what's up?

You know, I'm like okay.

So they're always around and we embrace them.

You said that before you start something, you pray.

I do wondering what does that prayer?

It's Dear God, please you know, surround me with your angels if I'm doing something that's dangerous, or when I go to bed at night, and just help me to see that what you want me to see and be the person that I need to be today and just help me through these difficult times.

Or I come to God in my prayers with lots of gratitude and thankfulness for the life that I have, or just the ability to help somebody else, because I think giving back is so important, and my girls and I talk a lot about that and just that we've been given so much, and to whom much is given, you know, much is required.

And that to me is something that I was taught very young.

And I just pray about safety.

I pray about peace, not only in my heart but in the world.

I pray about my family constantly and their safety and the grandkids and you know, all the things.

And I really it's important to me to calm myself before something important and really think about it and be thoughtful about it and be prayerful about it and then be grateful.

For it's beautiful.

That's my routine every day.

But I wake up with a prayer.

Thank you for waking me up, thank you for giving me another beautiful day, Show me how you want me to spend my time today, and help me through these seventy five thousand meetings and zooms I have to do.

And then thank you for protecting me tonight when I go to sleep, and bring me some peace and so I can recharge and be there for somebody else, because if.

You don't.

Get yourself ready for and get that energy going for the next day to your tank is going to be empty.

And I can't really run on an empty tank.

Yeah, well said, well said.

Is there a truth that you feel or a lesson?

Is there a lesson Chris that you feel?

Life is God to teach you the hard way.

I think that the challenges are growth.

I think when I go through something that's really hard, I have to remember to be grateful for it, and I have to remember that it's part of the process and it's what got me here.

Because, by the way, if you just started your adult life at eighteen and just got everything you wanted, I think that it would be a very different life.

It would be full, it would be harder at the end of the day.

But I love the things that I've I wouldn't change anything that I've been through because it's taught me so much, so many things in my life, decades worth of things.

You know that you think back and I think, what were the hardest the hardest times you know, and those are the times that really, I think for me personally, I experience the most growth as a person.

And believe me, I've made so many mistakes, and you know, I'm not always right, and I have to apologize to somebody, you know, all the time if i'm you know, I'm I'm human and I'm definitely not perfect and I'm flawed.

But I just try to learn something a little bit different and be a little bit better every day.

What's the lesson that you feel you're really realizing right now in your seventy years that's kind of at the forefront of your mind, a principle or a lesson that.

There's probably a couple.

I'm trying to be more patient.

I'm trying not to lose my temper over things that don't matter and that I can't control, because I know that I have a purpose.

I know that I have this beautiful life and this beautiful family.

So just relax.

When you can't control something, who cares.

It's not going to change anything.

Me getting upset isn't going to change a thing.

I can renegotiate, I can talk to somebody calmly, I can try to deal with things that the challenges that come up day to day, and if I can't control it, I've got to let it go.

I've got to say to myself Okay, you know it's funny, do you know, doctor Amen?

Yeah, of course.

Yeah.

He's been on the story of four or five times.

Oh, I love him so much.

So I talk to him from time to time.

And he said, what's on your mind today?

And I says, you know what's on my mind is I keep thinking I'm a complainer and I've my daughter Chloe has really brought this to my mind top of mind and said, Mom, you've got to stop complaining about nothing, like you have the most beautiful life.

And I go, I know you're right.

I'm a control freak.

So when you're a control freak, like my idea of a great Saturday afternoon is rearranging my drawers, it gives me peace, It helps my brain.

It helps me to get organ I'm a very organized girl, so to reorganize everything just to I don't know, blow off some steam helps me to relax.

It's my form of zen.

So when I can't control something, it I get annoyed, like the littlest things like why did that person do?

Like that doesn't even make any sense.

So common sense isn't very common, as we all know, right, So I always say that, and so so doctor Amen, said, I'm going to give you the rule of twelve.

He goes, you have to wait until something goes wrong for the twelfth time and.

Then you can let loose.

And I said, oh, I love that.

And so of course somebody forgets a bag, so we have to wait, you know, whatever half hour for somebody to go back drive somewhere.

Then somebody forgot a passport.

Then you know, it went like that for a while, right and one by one, okay, number one, and I just smiled, you know, tried to breathe.

Number two, Okay, I'm going to distract myself.

I'll get on Instagram or something.

Right then number three, you know, and I kept trying to distract myself from being cranky.

Got to number twelve and I thought, okay, next one, I'm going to you know, shit's going to hit the fan.

And of course number thirteen came and I just went okay, And it really helped to put me in my place a little bit, like like nothing's this serious, Like why are you complaining?

What do you have to complain about?

And then just trying to find your piece, inner piece where you feel like we've all had days.

I know everybody's had the day that they wake up and they realize today is such a great day, Like everything's going right, my family's healthy, I have money in the bank, I can pay the rent.

I this relationship is going really well, and I have lots of friends, and everything's just coming up roses.

And that's the feeling that I love to have and recognize when it comes along.

So that feeling of gratitude and gratification and just thankfulness, like thank you God for all of these wonderful things.

But it's not just about oodles and noodles of blessings.

It's about a feeling, do you know.

What I mean.

It's about really recognizing how special that is.

And sometimes it doesn't come along every single day, so you have to appreciate it.

Yeah, you've got to look for it.

You got to find that feel do Yeah, you got to find that feel.

You have to find that feeling and then really kind of just you know, let it sink in.

Yeah, you're reminding me.

There's a tool that I love.

It's called the perspective scale.

So if you looked at your life from zero to ten, Zero is the way you feel when you wake up and everything's amazing, and ten is you wake up and the worst thing possible could happen?

Are you all the opposite right now?

If you looked at the today's problem of someone forgetting their bag to the airport, yeah, it's like a two on that list.

Yeah, because compared to the worst day ever, it's nothing.

But when you don't have that perspective, everything's a ten.

Everything feels like a ten, Like the meeting that felled through, the person they show up, the text you got that you didn't want to.

It's like everything's a nine or a ten.

And when you look at it in perspective, actually that's just a one.

That's a one, it's a two.

Yeah, it's you know what, and it just lets you what you're saying.

You can't control it.

So what are we going to do?

Just get ourselves all twirled up?

No, I can't do that anymore.

I'm too.

I want to protect my peace.

And that's part of what I talked to doctor Aimon about, is protecting my peace and just showing more kindness and more generosity and more just being the kind of person like my grandmother used to say, you better treat others the way you want others to treat you, know, And so of course and also she always said, if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all.

And that's what I want to plaster across my Instagram.

It's such a different world.

It's a great rule to right, great rule.

Yeah, they still hold true all of these decades.

They all do, they all do?

You know?

I have a lot of them.

And no, I mean, you know, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make a drink.

I mean, all those silly ones.

And my kids make fun of me all the time because you say it to that I'm old fashioned.

Well though I was about to say, just so, just so everyone knows how organized Chris is.

She game here thirty five minutes early today, like thirty five minutes early.

No one does that.

And Kendall, Kim and Chloe never been late to the podcast, never late to an event, didn't like It's just everyone operates so professionally.

There's so much respect for everyone else's time and energy.

Yes, and it's and it comes from that place.

It's not just a check box.

It's like whenever I've spent time with anyone, whether it's with Kim and Chloe in India or you know, whatever it may be everyone's always on time, and the energy's right, and everyone's excited, and there's excited to be there, excited to be there and to be I.

Love the girls because they love to build other people up and they have this great group of friends.

And to look at these humans that you know, I've you know, just just so very proud of the women and the man that they've become because they make me so happy and they have, you know, very happy lives because they have each other.

I mean, not everybody can have six kids, but it's a lot of people.

Yeah, it's a raise, but.

It certainly it makes for a really, you know, amazing family.

How did you make sure you got to know them all individually and intimately in a way that you could guide them towards their passions and help them find it because that's such an individual process.

It is, it's such a personal thing.

It's I think with the first four, I was lucky enough to not be working through the pregnancies or raising them when they were small, and I took that time.

And then later when I was you know, I really came into this growth and you know, television success.

When I was fifty two, when we started our show Wow.

Isn't that crazy?

I know, and people, by the way, thought that we just sort of appeared out of nowhere.

And I had a life for a couple decades, several decades that I was very immersed in Hollywood and knew everybody and had this beautiful life with Robert and then Bruce at the time, and you know, just had this glorious, you know life together with my kids and really experienced so much with them from when they were babies and they were always doing things and in sports and we went to everything, and you know, it was just a typical childhood for them that they were involved in everything and we were right there, you know, as you know, having a front row seat to their childhoods.

And that makes a big difference, you know, when you're just all in a thousand.

I had some friends who didn't experience what I experienced, and the difference in the outcome and how their kids were raised versus you know, there are differences, it's like, and it's not just about somebody who throws themselves into, you know, one of their kids.

It's definitely how a child's makeup is, you know, you know, they're individuals.

But what was so fascinating for me was how different every every single child was, Like I had my first baby, and you don't know what to expect with number two.

One is like one.

Two is like twenty for me.

That's how it was for me, And it was very overwhelming to have two and I thought, oh, what's one more, you know, and then it just kept going.

But I think what you don't expect and what people would say to me at the time, people that were my age but didn't have any kids or one kid, and they would say, Wow, how are they so different?

And they were just obviously had their own, you know, amazing personalities and all the things that come with that, and just learned each one little by little, yeah, and just were part of each other's you know, obviously DNA, but it truly like they're just the biggest part of my heart.

But it's it's so interesting to hear that that having that time with each of them and having that quality time in those early days, and I assume you'd build up the skills by the time you had Kindle and.

A break had like an eight year break in there.

And so when I had Kendle, not only had the world change and the you know, I mean there was a time.

I mean I had a good, solid decade when I had like three high chairs lined up and you know, strollers and two car seats, and and then I went through a stage of having a little bit of a break with being pregnant and then started all over again, and everything changed.

There were telephones, there were computers.

It was huge, a huge change in how everything worked.

And nineteen ninety five came along and Kenda was born, and then I really had another chance at sort of continuing my family with Kendall and Kylie, and thought, oh, now we need another one because you don't want Kendall to grow up kind of so far apart in the gap.

So we had another one.

And Chloe was like my angel because Chloe really helped me.

She was ten, maybe or eleven, and she really helped me with Kendall and Kylie.

Because now at this point, I've got a full time job and I've got to figure out how to keep the lights on truly, and I thought, oh, this is like so from morning till night, working and trying to make it, you know, a career was very interesting, and that little Chloe was like a little mama's helper with everything with feeding and bathtime and you know, help me babysit on the weekends.

I was in the house, I was in my office.

But you know, if I said, you guys play out here, I'll be right.

You know.

But was such a great set of hands and such a she gave everything to those girls.

Wow, and really helped me with that so that I'll always be great.

Was her.

That was ural, That was her right energy that she had.

I could have called Chloe at ten years old and said we're having folks for dinner tonight, can you just throw on a little something for dinner and set the table for eight ten people?

She would have nailed it.

I mean, she was something else.

She still is just remarkable.

That kid beautiful.

But yeah, so you know, if I hadn't had the older ones to really help me with the younger ones, it would have in a lot more difficult.

But that's what great big families are.

So that's why they're so special.

You're promoting big families, Chris, that's the.

Everybody get out there and have some kids, some kids.

Yeah, that's what we need.

It seems so thoughtful though, like you were like, all right, I don't want Kendall to be the last one who's left alone, and so we'll have like there's there's so much.

It's intentional.

It was very intentional, very intentional.

Yeah, I didn't want somebody to be left without there, Like it was Courtney and Kimberly, and then it was Chloe and Rob who were still connected at the hip.

They're both all of them, and then it's Kendall and Kylie.

Yeah, so they all had their little I had different litters, they had different pals.

You know, it was it's really and I just I felt really good about that.

Yeah.

I love that it goes through the kids to go one thing that each of them have taught you.

Okay, Courtney taught me probably how to be a mom.

She was my first born, and she was you know, she gave me a run for my money because she was very caliky, and that was interesting and very challenging for you know, those long nights and all of that.

So that was like, oh, okay, this is what it's like.

Okay, and you would do anything to make her life and have her feel better.

And you know, this little tiny thing that was you know, really had an upset tummy for nine months at least and then I wanted to do it again.

Kim taught me multitasking, and Chloe taught me probably oh, I mean, they all taught me love.

But Chloe united everybody and taught me a lot about how grateful I was for humor because she was so funny.

And then Rob the same.

Rob was just a joy, but he was the boy.

You know.

Robert Kardashian Senior came from a big Armenian family and they were praying for a boy from day one, so you know, it was always, you know, I hope it's the boy.

I hope it's the boy, and it's going to be Robert Junior, blah blah blah.

And I was like, okay, it's a girl, you know, another girl, another girl.

And so when Robert was born, it was like all the Armenians were rejoicing.

They were My mother and father in law were so happy and all their friends.

And I remember she ran to the hospital with this beautiful broke diamond broach that she gave me, and I was, you know, it was so joyful, and it was like New Year's Eve, you know, and it was a celebration.

So that was really special, and it taught me a lot about their culture and how to celebrate on another level and all of the experiences that because suddenly, when Robert was born, the Armenian side of my in laws really kicked in over at my house.

You know, it's like, we're going to make, you know, these Armenian meals and I'm gonna show and we're trying to teach the kids to speak a little Armenian, which you know didn't go that far.

They're not fluent or anything.

But it was a lot of fun to learn about that and finally to have the boy that they had been hoping for for all that time and then so that was joyful.

He taught me a lot about what that meant and what you know, having probably what they considered, you know, more of the head of the family because I had a son and what that was like.

That was just such a beautiful experience to have a boy.

And then Kendall, I think taught me a lot about patience and serenity because I had two miscarriages before I had Kendall, and that taught me a lot because you think you're invincible, I'm just going to pop out another baby, and then you don't, and it becomes a little bit of a struggle, but when she came, you know, it was just so amazing too, and it made me realize how appreciation.

I think a lot of that lesson too, was how much I appreciated and then sat in awe of all the other times I had done it and thought, Wow, this is not just so easy for everybody.

And by that time, when Kylie came along, I also appreciation and just joy.

And I got just stational diabetes very badly, and I gained about one hundred pounds and that was hard, and it taught me a lot about patience, and it taught me a lot about being healthy and healthy choices, and the world was changing, and a lot of my friends at the time we were all in our forties.

I had Kindle when I was forty and I had Kylie when I was forty one, and that when you do that in your life after having four other children, that's very you know, it's a decision you're making.

It's very intentional, and you don't just accidentally pop up and get, at least for me, get pregnant for no reason.

And so it was very intentional to add to my family.

And Kylie taught me a lot about being grateful and having gratitude for all of my children because now that I'm in my forties, a lot of my friends were also in their forties, and everybody was struggling with infertility, that hadn't had a baby yet.

And here I was on my you know, fifth and sixth and you know, and some people were really struggling, and I thought, wow, so grateful that this had been this, this was my journey.

So I felt like, very grateful for that.

That's beautiful.

So sorry for your loss, I mean those two miscarriages.

Yeah, I mean I've had a lot of my friends in the last twelve to twenty four months have experienced miscarriages, and I feel like people are starting to talk about it a bit more now.

You grief, It's a terrible thing that you do because it's so silent almost you know, it happens, and people go, were so sorry.

And I carried that for months, months and months.

You know, you still think about it from time to time, but don't dwell on it at all.

Just grateful that I am and I got to have my journey and my experience, and my kids are thriving health wise at the moment, so you know, you just have to be there and support and love on the friends that you that go through that, and that that was a lot of my friends were experienced around that time, and.

That was real.

That was a big moment for me during those years.

It wasn't a moment.

It was several years of just just trying to be there and being supportive and being a friend and trying to go to doctor's appointments and you know, doing different versions of IVF and all these different medicals.

But by the way, we're just becoming something that worked.

In those years, like it was very still very new and thirty years ago, almost years ago, and I just always would hold my breath when one of my friends would get pregnant again, you know that it experienced loss in such a difficult way and praying, and then every time one of my girlfriends would have a baby after a long journey, I would go to the hospital and we would celebrate and it was just yeah, I remember doing that quite a few times.

Yeah.

So anyway, yeah, no.

Thank you for sharing that.

It's I think it's going to be useful for a lot of people to hear that because it's I don't think it's ever going to get easier when people go through something.

No, it's always going to hurt, and knowing that others are going through it is probably the only thing right help.

It's devastating to people that have tried for so long to have a baby and it just doesn't happen for them.

And that used to break my heart because I always experience the joy and that joyful part of it.

I never really had the side that ended very sadly.

I had.

I mean, I had a couple of experiences that was, you know, traumatizing to say the least at the time, But I went on with a happy ending.

And some people don't get that happy ending, and that always used to break my heart, you know, to have anybody struggle with that.

But now, my goodness, there's so many amazing, you know, ways to overcome just due to all the new technology, all the things they're doing now and the way people are using surrogates.

That's such a wonderful gift to be able to give someone.

I used to think when I was really young and not thinking it through.

After I had a couple of kids, I said I would I was watching something on TV once about a surrogate and by the way, we're talking nineteen eighties, and I used to think I would do this for somebody.

If somebody like it would well, I would do this.

And then you know, then a few minutes later, you're like Chris, snap out of it.

But no, I used to think that, truly.

I used to think that would be a great thing to do.

So I really do admire women who give their life to somebody for a couple of years, basically of helping them carry a baby.

I just shout out to anybody who's ever been a surrogat what a beautiful, sacred gift.

And now, from your position of having this wisdom and being in this place in your life, what's a piece of advice or wisdom that you're sharing with each of the kids.

What's the different lens or direction that you're giving each of them right now?

I think be kind, treat each other with love and kindness, and everyone that you encounter, and you never know what somebody's been through or what they're going through at the moment or that day.

And if people are you know, cruel and nasty.

We talk about that a lot lately, just about the you know, the way people can get worked up online and some of the negative energy there and just really trying to not listen to the noise, don't read that kind of stuff, and try to be more joyful and just to be there for one another because all we have is each other.

That's all we've got.

It goes by so fast, and it's especially when you have kids you realize how fast time goes by.

And Kylie shared in our group chat, our family group chat, a picture of Stormy yesterday and I haven't seen her in a week, and I was shook.

I was like, this is just going by so fast.

She's you know, she grew afoot what's happened here?

So I think just to appreciate the moment and drown out the noise as much as you can and love each other as hard as you can because you only have this one life and it goes by really fast.

Yeah, you keep talking about this interview, that's drowning out the noise, and yeah, there being so many disturbances.

You have to Yeah, because there's so much going on.

I have so much incoming constantly in my life.

You know, there's always something to look answer to, look at a contract, have a zoom, do a beautiful podcast.

There's always so much to choose from, and so many beautiful things we can do, But there's also a lot of it's work, but it's stuff we need to do, or it's conflict, or it's something you need to deal with personally.

There's always something you know going on during the day, and I think you have to edit, edit your life and really focus on what you want to put your energy into, put your heart, your soul into, put your love into, and then edit what you can get rid of to find some joy and some peace in all of it, and through all of that be grateful.

What I love learning about you more and more the more time we spent together is that I feel like you're this incredible powerhouse, amazing business person, incredible strategy.

About the heart of it, there's this really soft, loving, soulful, you know individual And is that how you see yourself when you feel most seen for people who know you the deepest and the best?

Yeah, how did they see you?

What did they see?

I think the way you described Anyone who knows me knows I'm just a big baby and I'm a big softie and I cry at commercials.

I will literally have it right into the surface at all times.

But then I go to work, and I'm like, okay, listen, no, I'm really not, but I'm you know, I love what I do, and I know that through experience and time and you know, just all the things we've been through, you know.

I try my best every day and try to get through the day with as much integrity and the best character I can, you know, put out there and be myself and do what I think is right, and teach my kids to be good human beings and my grandkids and just have so much fun and enjoy every minute.

And yeah, you did it right, Chris.

I don't know, you know, listen, I make a lot of mistakes throughout my life and during the day, and you know, all of it, you know, just like everybody does.

That's normally.

But I think if we just go out there and put our best foot forward, like my mom used to say, my grandma used to say, and do our very best and be the best sink scrubber you can possibly be, You're going to be.

Okay.

I love that, Chris.

We end every on Purpose interview the final five.

These questions have to be answered in one word to one sentence maximum, so you have a sentence.

For each Okay, I'm responding to your word.

Yeah, I'll ask you a question.

You can have a sentence, you can have a sentence.

Yeah, So Christianity is your final five.

The first question is what is the best advice you've ever heard or received?

Lead with your heart.

Second question, what is the worst advice you've ever heard or received?

Probably somebody telling me how to raise my kids, and then I do the exact opposite, and I think I did it.

Because you disagree with that.

Yeah, what was some of that bad advice?

Like what kind of things did people say?

Just you know, when you're going through life and people are telling you, you know, different ways to just you know, approach a problem and how they would handle it.

And I've always just done my own thing.

Yeah, I think you have to re really go with your intuition and your gut when you're raising kids, or you know, any any real important decision that you make in your life.

You have to follow what you like, your your soul tells you to do.

And I've been really I think intuitive, you know about what I think is right and wrong.

Question number three, what do you feel your soul is here to experience right now?

I think I have a strong purpose in raising my family and raising great kids and created a legacy that I pass on to my grandchildren and their children and just showing and learning from one another my family.

I think it's all about my family.

I was born to be a mom and help them find their passion, their truth, their joy, their their legacy, and so I have a lot of I'm so proud of that that gets to be my purpose.

So it's so clearly what it feels like you were born to do.

And I feel like that, Yeah, I feel so strong.

And it's amazing that you're thinking about not only your grandkids but their kids and oh yeah, like you really do think about generational.

I think I'm a very sentimental person.

And I made an app for my family that we have all of our home movies from the time they were born and they're up on the screen and I try to think of really interesting things to give them about their childhood, and you know how what they can do for their kids, and you know, it's just it all comes back to the kids, the grandkids, and is celebrating, is celebrating anything is so special in my family and being able to celebrate Christmas and Thanksgiving and Halloween and fourth of July and Valandi like everybody's birthday, it's every month there's something really big that happens around our crew, and I think just having that joy and that to look forward to if it's just being together and like you were saying, you're celebrating your special time with your life and that's something that you're looking forward to and you can't wait.

We feel like that all the time because there's so many of us, and so my purpose here is to be this you know, conductor of all of those stuff and to teach it to all of them and then they'll teach it to their kids and their kids they'll teach it to their kids, and you know, just the tradition, the sentimental times, the memories, the scores of photos that I used to put into albums before there was ever an I phone, and you know that all means so much.

Yeah, question numb before you are obviously there for all of them.

What do you still go to your mother for, who's ninety one?

Everything?

I talk to her every day on the phone.

Really we help each other with what we're going to watch.

She loves Dateline as much as I do, so we're like, what murder mystery or we're going to watch tonight and then she'll say, Okay, I was sad today, so we're going to watch a comedy and we'll say, okay, which one?

And so we have great fun, just you know, doing that together, even though we're She lives a mile from my house.

I try to get her to move in with me, but she refused.

She's so independent, which I admire and love, you know.

And she lives part time in La Joya down in near San Diego, and she's got beautiful views.

So she sends me photos every day of how much she appreciates the ocean and her surroundings.

And you know, we just have great fun together.

Yeah.

One ninety one.

It's amazing.

Yeah, Yeah, it's beautiful what she passed down.

Your grandmother passed down, so it's already been three Did they have that as well or were they the ones to start it off?

I think my grandmother she started it.

Yeah, she started it.

Yeah, so lucky me.

It's already been five generations.

Lucky me.

It's amazing.

Fifth and final question, Chris, we asked this to every guest who's ever been on the show.

Okay, the question is if you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow.

What would it be?

Love one another?

Simple?

Simple?

Why do we find it so hard?

I don't know.

I don't know, but that's mine, that's my advice.

I'm so grateful to you for your time, your energy, you know, sharing your soul.

I'm waiting now all I was thinking about this whole time while you were speaking.

I was like, we need a Chris memoir, Like, we need all of the these incredible stories of you scrubbing that donut floor.

And yeahs the glaze of the gaze of the floor.

I am the best donut glaze, scraper washing, and the us we need.

We need a memoir from from the from the matriarch, you know, we need it.

We need a memoir.

You know.

They're silly stories and something that you know most people won't you know, think are significant, but they were growing up and you know that's everybody's life is so different, and that's you know, part of mine.

So I'm grateful for every moment.

Yeah, will you impact millions of people across the world.

So your story matters for people to know how you became who you became.

And I'm grateful that we could share that chapter here and celebrate your upcoming seventieth birthday and just you, so grateful for you your family, and.

We're grateful for you.

And I'm proud of you for spreading all the messages you spread around the world.

And everybody listens to you and gets such strength and knowledge and comfort and hopefully turns their lives around in some way.

And that's a very special position to be in.

And you know that's your very special man.

So thank you for all that you give to everybody in the world, including me and my family.

So thank you, Thank you, Chris.

You're the best.

If you love this episode, you'll enjoy my interview with doctor Daniel Ahman on how to change your life by changing your brain.

If we want a healthy mind, it actually starts with a healthy brain.

You know.

I've had the blessing or the curse to scan over a thousand convicted felons and over one hundred murderers, and their brains are very damaged.