Welcome to Will you accept this Rose?

A production of iHeartRadio.

Here we go, Here we go, Here we go.

Okay, okay, here we go, Here we go.

Did you know that I have a tick that I say that here we go?

Did you know that I psych myself up all day every day and I say out loud leave.

My friend Lisa pointed it out.

I like this, okay, okay, okay, here we go.

Does it sound funny?

It might be the okay okay, yeah, I psacked myself up.

I started doing it in Tennis when I was getting yelled at by APA architects and they were better than me, and I go, oka, okay, okay, here we go.

And I still do it all days.

Another episode of week's.

Episodes of My Name is Arden Marine Coming to you from my bougie garage in Los Angeles, California.

You guys, it's the time of year.

It's so fucking hot.

The rest of the world in theory, let's just pretend it's not like about to burn to the ground the world in theory.

This is when I want to think I'm getting out.

A jean jacket.

Maybe maybe I'm like buying a new pair of tights and a boot and a scar for something you have to This is when La really takes it to the next level.

Shit, you you got it, and you got to make it to Halloween.

Because you think you've made it through, it's gonna cool down for a week and then like October twenty first, it's like, bitch.

Often, Halloween itself is the hottest fucking day of the year.

It is.

It is once you've decided to put on more layers than you ever normally wear.

Yes, you're like and you're gonna wearing spand.

Eggs and the worst material you're always.

Dressed as a sexy nurse.

Yeah, yes, yeah, okay, so yeah.

Halloween is hot, hot hot.

Can I just say Lamar was supposed to be here.

He told me he double booked another podcast, and then our king just told me what.

He's in New York.

Honestly, that's a name.

I'm such a Mike, you know, I'm such a people pleaser.

Yes, and you know I'm a coward.

And I would say I also double booked by that meaning I'm in a different time zone, which is double booking, honestly, but that's what makes me love it is doublelicating double booked by the way.

It actually makes me like him more.

It gives me a little thrill of the change.

And he wanted to say, yes he did, and it's a king.

And he's trying to do next week.

But next week we have our draft picks people coming back to see how they did.

But wait, just while we're calling people, can I call out that you said you're going to give me an early.

Link to watch the episode yesterday.

And I waited and waited and waited and nothing, nothing, nothing ever came.

And then it was the morning.

Still nothing.

The link is in New York, yes, and then only one hour before we recorded did I even get it.

I realized, here's where you tried to get ahead of it, and I said, I'm calling you out on air.

Of course, I know you're right, I had to, but I but here, I had a third date last night, and you know, I have a lot of anxiety.

So I was having someone like picking me up on my home, that we're going to come into my home.

No, they saw my home.

How's the first time they picked me up?

But like I but this time they're coming in and they're inspected.

They're lifting couches, they're looking under things, drawer yes, they're saying.

Do not, do not, do not open the cold.

Closet on it because that the thing that looks like a snake tank that you saw is Mitten's nebulizer.

It's beautiful.

Still, I love that mid has a nebuliz has.

A nebulizer, and people think I have a snake.

When they come over, they go, oh, you got a snake, as if I would ever get a I'm never gonna get a snake.

You should.

Should I get a snake?

You should?

I feel like you could, weirdly make it work.

You could make a snake work.

But I don't want to.

I'm gonna get a snake.

Make it works.

Whether or not you should do it, I don't know, but I do think you can make it work.

So I couldn't make it work.

So also people would go like serial killer if you do it?

Well, okay, So so I know myself and I have anxiety, and I've also been working on getting out of my house on time, and I you it is and I realized as a gal, it's not that I'm like primping for that long, but if I'm going really anywhere sort of whether it's a date or an audition or whatever I need, like an hour and a half.

And it's not that I'm like, you know, Mittens isn't like French braiding my hair and putting in in curlers.

It's more like, but.

What that little opposed she could, she could?

She wishes, she wishes I would let her.

She was like, that's how you're going out, that's what you're wearing.

She's she always, she's a little bit of a friend of me.

And so I was busy like doing like the bomb sweep, much like our sweet Dawn.

I was doing the bomb sweep at the house, just be like what do I need to jam into that coat closet?

And then and then I got picked up because it's a gentleman.

He's been picking me up, but which is sweet, which is nice.

But that's why I got my anxiety kicked in.

And I'm sorry.

Yeah, here's what I want to say.

One more thing though.

Let me just let me just introduce you guys, and then I'll tell you things.

Okay, they don't know who we are at Have.

I seen you since our live podcast?

I don't think so, okay, yea.

And gentlemen, you know him from uh you know, I just you know him from comedian Clash, and you also know him from.

Drop Out, Drop Out, Crowd Crowd Control and Dropout.

And you also know him most importantly as our hearty Pool Inspector.

Jack Keith Neil.

Yeah, Always and forever.

That's the last song that I was listening to.

Can we really?

That's before I got in?

That's yeah, I love it.

Can we talk about yes.

The level?

Now, you've done numerous live shows, I've.

Done, I've done a few.

Can we talk to a handful?

Can we talk about the raising of the bar of whoever the snack, the people in charge of the snack, the snack game that our audience came, the mount of snacks.

Not only are chocolate here?

Yea chocolate if you the best, which I'm going to have for my party this year.

I'm going to get the buck, guys.

I'm gonna let her like clatter, you know what I mean.

I love it And I'm gonna pull little sign out so people can order from her and you can do it.

She's going to deliver chocolate platter.

Dude, you don't even know it's going to be good.

You don't even know.

I'm not you know, Lauren's a chocolate person.

I'm aware I'm not as much.

Okay, yeah, I'm not at all.

Say it disturbs her the same.

I don't want that.

I want the I want like the I want the cobbler and the vanilla ice cream.

I want with these chakra, black licorice, black liquorice.

I have never black licorice.

I literally someone says chocolate.

I'm concerned too, led.

But you know what, I'm not going to you'r yung And I like that.

But so, I don't really love chocolate.

This chocolate, it was very good.

Cut a bit for this, this chocolate.

I mean.

So then people also brought.

Up bag there was there was apple donuts, We had apple str we had hopcorn, we had people just kept bringing.

So I gave us chocolate covered raisins, which you tried to share with us, and I made people give us back the donuts.

Yes, And then I got a painting.

I got a painting in me out with a humming bird.

I gotta.

I mean, the amount is present.

We have a very generous crowd.

Very generous crowd love you.

Listen, they love you.

But and you Paul did well, and how great was great?

And how great was grocery store.

Joe and Serena.

They were great.

We may we made Joe phel so uncomfortable and I loved it.

Oh my god.

But he said, because Paul kept saying that we were asking him to fuck over his friends through under the bus and say and say that cat they needed to get her back blown out, and he wouldn't do it.

You're king grocery store Joe.

Say that because that is a he is mister Chicago man.

He is, He's like sure embodiment of Chicago.

I mean, we love I love a Chicago guy.

Okay, speaking of Chicago guys, Oh, I say you are my friend.

You're also part of a couple that I love equally.

You're married to my best friend.

Yes, I was gonna say, you can put her a littleheaded.

Obviously your number one, but I mean no, sorry, she's obviously obviously.

You said you said, I did said.

The first's gonna be very mad.

I'm gonna go get run over at the trolley at the grove.

That's how it's going to go when I'm done, you know what.

I mean, Like a good way to know.

I feel like I have.

Like three weeks, three more good weeks and I'll wait till after the holidays.

Go in front of the trolley.

Yeah, I feel like I'll go to the American Girl Dog.

I wouldn't kill you.

It's too slow.

If you just lay there.

It was just dragged.

Can't get dragged.

It for a moment hosting Extra and I'd be like, hey, do you remember me from my New Hampshire Street Lottery.

Okay, but you're also married to my best friend.

We know you from from Curb your Enthusiasm.

It was so funny.

But more importantly, I'm like super fanning you this week, Like just okay, I and I'm going to tell you.

So my I'm the only person in my family that's ever gotten to therapy.

Oh yeah, my brother and I grew up in the same house.

You know my dad.

You've been to my town.

I mean, you don't know my dad.

He was dead.

You could picture, you could picture, you could picture like a walrus shaped accountant that had a main stream.

You could picture a man that was always tits out, top down in a Masda Mia.

So he so he who didn't like girls?

You know what I mean?

So, but what was my point?

Oh?

My brother?

So, my brother, my brother very rarely opens up.

But he actually texted me late at night and he was he was jet lagged and he was somebody had bullied him, and he actually said the phrase I'm a mess for that honesty.

And it was probably midnight here, so it might have been like four or five in the morning where he was.

I was worried about my brother and I knew calling him and just being like, hey, can we talk would never work.

So I was like, hey, listen, because he had to go deal with these people all day and it wasn't gonna get any sleep.

I was like, here's what I need to do.

I'm going to send you a video and I'm gonna listen to you, and you need to play it on your computer while I talk to you on the phone.

And he goes, aha, you watched like ten seconds and I'm like, no, no, no, you need to watch all the way through, and then you need to listen to it a dozen times today and need to keep it in your earworm so that when you are interacting with people, you are thinking the following.

And he said it actually nobody fucked with.

He's been doing it and he's texted me ever since like these are all a bunch of Gemas, they're not qualified.

Can I play it?

Would love it?

Okay?

So tell us.

So there was once upon a time there was a character named This is all verbatim.

The whole song is verbatim from a speech from Flavor of Love, one of the most important flavor Flave flavor flavor and one of the most important uh sort of icons and unscripted TV.

Here there was a character named New York.

She was, she was, and this speech she was talking about one of the women in the house.

Is there anything Gemma and this?

And he made like a Christian rock He's from Texas and he made like a Christian rock song about it?

What else do we need the listeners to know the entire song?

And I'm gonna play the whole song?

How do you feel?

I feel great, Katie, I promise and our dear listeners, we will get to the most important Okay, it's Mike Castle first of all, he track to the video.

Okay, and I'm also bringing in doctor Banana's not here, but we we also have kat Money, kat Money, Levine, Katie, I.

Can't wait to get to this episode.

I'm just gonna play this and then we're gonna go Ready, here we go, get ready, get.

What I will.

Let Jimmy know that she is a fat cut and the shoes that she gave me were not something that I would particularly buy for myself.

That she is a fat.

Shoes something I would It's such a hit you directed this.

I love it.

Shoes.

The Christian element is so key.

Here we go.

I'm ready, I'm ready.

That's the case she should have.

Okay, ready to.

Qualified, don't know?

Get ready, you're ready.

We're taking to the bridge of the chorus.

Here we go.

That's smart.

I'm ready.

The the woman God damn, who was actually beautiful.

For that?

I love the words pretty my job.

I love that you love this, so I can't say that.

You can't say it.

You know you can get ready, get ready, I'm ready and sex.

Anybody live, hopefully.

Times.

Fly sexy.

I love this of the sort.

Give it the grammy.

There is the thing of where you transcribe a speech directly and make it lyrics, where then as you hear it as lyrics go, this could only actually been what someone says.

Oh this is this is what shebatim.

There's a little clip.

We're see a little clip of the speech, and you've both met my brother.

So just picture that adult man, like that businessman.

Walking around Europe.

This is his therapy.

Somebody lied to her several times, told her that she was flat hot and sexy and beautiful and nothing like.

That's New York.

Can you even handle this?

Was that worth the viewing?

I love New York?

Yes, that was great.

He didn't handle that.

That was amazing.

So my entire family, my brother, I'm not even kidding the amount of text he'd be.

Like I went to the meeting and they were just a bunch of gemas and they were not qualified, and they like and I feel like he had like a wild card quality where they knew he had nothing to lose, you know what I'm saying.

And so it's genuinely moving for me to picture Aleric listening to them.

No, no, it helped him.

I'm going to show you all of his texts because we both didn't grow up knowing how to stand up for ourselves.

And so like when a bro bullies Alaric, Oh yeah, Aleric deep down the side knows like I'm fourteen times smarter than you.

Ep.

Yeahs are really scary.

But like so I just was here's my friend thing.

So I went on the date last night.

This is side note.

I went on the date last night and we went to the restaurant that your beautiful bride had her birthday at.

And this person had never been to this restaurant, and I was like, get ready, it's the best and the worst.

It's the incredible.

I'm like, it's like Pirates of the Caribbean and it's incredible.

And the clientele.

Yes, when we left that birthday part, That's what I.

Was talking about.

You how you were like even when I was twenty and single, because it's like where did they all come from?

You wouldn't know what to say, but they so they were like we order're like, we see just like six dishes.

So we ordered five.

Were like, is this going to be too much food?

And the guy's like, no, no, don't worry, We're going to course it all out, like we have like salads and beesel We're going to course it all out.

Two seconds later, we get our like chicken swarmer tacos like the main the main like they go backwards and then five things come out at one, like everything comes out.

At the same time.

The guys that the waiter's name was Drake I started giggling.

It was suggest they get it all wrong, and we keep going back, We keep going laay, okay, here we are now.

Listen, you guys weren't here for our draft drafts.

Now did you know, Katie you were filling them in on the controversy?

Did you know the controversy behind this guy?

Before I had heard, I had heard probably even on here it talked about, but I was interest to us to it.

Can I see the most surprising thing about this minute that he has a black father.

When I did the little father is black in the beginning of the episode father, they did the.

They did like the whole like we're calling pictures.

But now his dad was black.

He grew up around black people.

He grew up Detroit, dur Detroit.

Right, Yeah, the music was black.

His dad was something like Diana Rowls and ship right black form.

I want to throw that in.

I want to throw that twist in.

So basically, for those of you who didn't listen to our our draft picks, we were very skeptical, and I want to say up top, I hate to say this this, and I've been mad at ABC based on the messing.

With our they've been They've been trash with a lot of but I'm going to be real with you, this is the most important episode of television I've ever seen, including this Prana's family.

It was a perfect episode of television.

Everything that we Katie, you're here, everything that we with, every guest of the entrance that we did.

People did the like the unicycle, the bomb inspectors, eventual whose mouth fully moved, she was doing the like like everything.

Yes, everything we thought, everything we thought, But no she did.

Wasn't she the dentist, the sexy dentist?

Who's like or did she get a limited?

Maybe she did at the very least I said she did.

Yeah, she might have.

But anyway, it was the people we thought, we're gonna be horny.

We're gonna be horny like the front run of the Sexy front Runner.

Katie any thought about how like on brand we were in the overall episode based on our draft picks.

We just we like knew we hit it out of the park.

Did you pick the winner?

Carol?

I feel like Carol, Okay, I just want to say this.

Carol was doing really well until she pressured him too hard.

Carol, Carol the bomb the bomb one right?

Oh no, oh no, Freddy Freeman, that's going to go a long way.

She's gonna go.

Yeah.

I've never seen a man get more perked up.

Yeah he did free Dodger ticket.

Yeah, yeah, he did the free Dodger ticket.

Math.

He couldn't have been less interested in the woman who got a full scholarship to USC.

He couldn't cared about that, like not interesting at all, but like your nephew, yeah exactly, But but I just uh he overall, I really wanted to hate him.

Yeah, And what's frightening to me is I believe I didn't like up top when he was like, oh, there's been a misunderstanding.

They misconstrued my words.

It's like, bro, you said, I want forty to fifty five year olds and no broken hips or wigs.

Yeah, a lot a lot of times people act like something is taken out of context if you don't know the context of every single moment of their entire life.

Said about the context is what you said?

You said, you know, you dug a Gray said he jumped in and then.

Like you meant that like that It wasn't like my joking, like you weren't joking.

But then but then here's what I have to say in defensive ABC, I like that basically every single one of these women is over sixty.

They had to appreciated.

But that was like, I was sort of like you you said the negative.

They can't be over sixty.

That's the rule of.

The game was when they start.

That's why we all love the show is because we're picturing our mom, a picture of my widowed mom going getting a chance.

That laved like, so it you know, it's starting.

The rules of the game were these cool women and in order to apply, you had to be sixty plus.

And oh oh that's part of the.

Yeah you had sixty plus.

You have to be older than sixty.

You be older than okay, And so.

That's why we thought the woman was fifty nine that they slid in who looked at Malibu My but boy.

Anyway, so that was but I felt like so coming in in defense of my mom, I just felt fuck this guy, of course for sure, and I hate to say, and I don't believe him, but whoever did his media training.

Such a yeah, good media training, better than the last guy last season?

He comet freaked me.

He's also a former professional football player, which means like he's had media trained in four decades.

Even back then when it wasn't as much media, he still was around television and around professional this week.

If you're still work six year old, handsome former football player is a lawyer in Orange County.

If you want to eat forty year olds, there's a thousand of them will go marry you for the money and you have a hot piece of ass, Like why.

What in you needs to be on TV for this?

Let me tell you what I feel about.

Tell me Mel, tell me.

I'm excited for Mel, tell me everything.

I'm excited.

I love it that we don't have a.

I agree with that.

I really excited.

I'm so excited we have.

A horny divorce.

The trash who was like, I want to fuck forty and fifty year olds.

I'm kissing people on the first episode, should my wife he eluded?

My wife cheated on me?

Say I'm getting my dad wet.

It.

But I don't know that I buy.

I'm like, you died, You're like jerking off to a cam girl during Like I just don't know.

Yeah, there there there are other insighting incidents.

Do you buy that she cheated on him?

Do you buy it?

I don't buy it.

It's something like what she said, like people talk to her and the fact that apparently he had to pay her like nine hundred thousand dollars.

Yeah, oh he got money.

Yeah yeah, I just it's there's something about him that I found very untrustworthy.

Okay, so after going through.

That, but then but then it also makes sense that someone would cheat on him.

He's a wealthy white man who lives in Orange County, you.

Know, I know that's you know that, but he's not.

But he has a black dad, and he's from Detroit, and he's from detroits.

Different depth.

He's a moderate.

He presents as a wealthy white man.

Yes, okay, wait, but it's a question though, do you think did you fall for his media training?

Ass I did in the beginning, But as it went on, if you like look at his face when he's like with all the tell me, I just like got the feeling he was just like putting on an act and actually not enjoying himself.

And I felt like he would really much rather have been with like forty two year old Yes.

I agree, like that that like being happy was part of the media training.

Yeah, he's putting on like it's all this big.

He's never listened to a woman that was his ex was eighteen years younger, right.

Yeah, I mean like there was just something about it that like, and it could be he was nervous on television, but because he used to in football.

I kind of don't believe that.

I don't know.

Ye, No, Melanie Owens, it had no poker face.

I will, I will say too.

I don't disagree with that, Katie.

Yeah, I also.

Will.

I would assume, yes, that coming into a house where you know they all twenty women hate you, that they basically all brought it up.

Yeah, you also hit people in an area of vulnerability that there's nothing they can do about.

There's nothing they can do it.

But it's basically like.

Yeah, I fucking hate blondes, you know, like like like or whatever, like or not I could dye my hair, but like like I hate women with high voices or whatever, blue eyes, like whatever.

It is that that and that society also is like you have no worth if you're a woman ver sixty, Like you can't be sexy.

You're not like you're supposed to go put yourself on a shelf and just rot, whereas a man could go do whatever.

They want and so, And he said it on a podcast.

He didn't say it like in private.

Yeah, don't you were like bragging?

And he said it on the podcast about to do a show where you know the rules.

Yeah, you know the right, you know who's about to come on.

And then you gas light them on and you go they misunderstand, you don't understand.

Yeah, yeah, let me let me ask you.

Here's my here's my question about now.

Now that's a dumb question, but I was really thinking about this.

Okay, okay, could he date.

A woman named mel?

Great questions?

Do you think he could handle that?

Because I don't like you can handles?

She was thirty eight.

Yes, yeah, you want to know what I came up with over I got excited and I said this on the last podcast.

I kind of want to marry Charlie Sheen so I can be Ardent Sheen Marine.

Yeah, how do you feel about that?

I like, don't, don't you can?

I'll take you to the name change application place so you don't have to marry.

It's way easier.

Still available, Machine's still alive, isn't it.

I'm not sure if he's available though he's not available, And give.

Me a quadrupule.

You know what I was thinking about.

What I was thinking about it.

I know we got to get into the episode, but I was thinking about this.

Yeah, because like I still do, even the boring seasons of Golden I still do appreciate the women, the fact that these aren't children that I'm watching.

Yes, I can relate to these type of connections a little bit more on Golden Bachelor, but you know, like I am not in the age range of Golden Bachelor.

I'm also not in the age range of regular bachelor.

Need like a silver bachelor.

Yeah, like people who are like in their mid to late thirties to fifty yes, you know who are just starting to take viagra herding, Like we need our own bachelor too, Yeah, who.

Are like a career focus.

I want to be a bachelor.

I want to be the bachelor as a bachelor and you can have that would be so fun.

Because that's an age range now that's completely shut out, and like that's your biggest audience is millennials.

I would kill it as a bachelor.

It's also amazing when you listen to each woman and they have such like a rich life.

Yeah, yeah, like everything they talk about you're like, wow, it's so amazing and complicated like every other person, like I'm a dental dentist.

Yeah, the other one, and that's my entire identity.

And I'm also an influencer, the one who.

Stocked with the yoga instructor.

Of course, you know what I mean.

Question, I will not even questions statement.

I feel like he got some banging with some beautiful woman and some like Sondra's sister on the Twins set banging.

She's so hot, yeah, Sondra Andra the Twins.

I know.

He tells you so much about parents, that kind of thing.

I didn't they had r Okay.

So and says, are Andre's not a name, Sondra's name, Yes, right, Sandra Andre.

But honestly, respect, preach and like Gene Pool, fuck yeah, give me those jeans.

Okay, let's just let's just you know what, We're gonna take a quick break and then we're just gonna get right into it.

Sure, Oh my god, they did not.

No, they did not.

Oh yes they did.

And we're back.

Okay, here we are.

I'm excited to fall in love.

There's been a misconception about me, he said.

The misconception was that I said in English lucively that I want forty five to six year.

Olds and that's just a misconception.

So I'm just I did say I want to stay away from it, broke artificial hips and wigs.

What the fuck with the wigs at the right whom he did like one person with thinning hair or something.

I mean literally, he goes, I messed up.

I was wrong.

I have regrets.

I'm sorry for what I said.

I mean that was but also like, but then, how is it misconstructions?

It's not He goes, That's not who I am, and I wrote, yeah, it is.

And then all of a sudden, so this before I knew, we eat a black dad.

They start playing the Jackson five.

And I'm like, what an interesting choice?

Was, like Michael Jackson here with Michael Jackson's interesting choice, and then you're playing.

Jackson five and then here we are in Detroit.

It was I was the whole eighty six minutes were the.

He had that black friend and he was like.

A legend.

Yes.

First, before I realized, I was like, is he just trying to prove he's a black friend and seemed relatable.

Like that neighborhood did look nice.

I was like that would be that nice little childhood right then.

That looked good.

Give the producers of this one episode and egot they needed an Emmy a Grammy at oscard to Tony like, I could watch this on stage.

I could listen to this episode.

Okay, So then do you think they turned down that the black guy's microphone at the moment like when they were first talking, because he says something like we both have gotten old or something, and there was this moment where he's like yeah.

I was like, they like moved right back.

I was like, that's interesting, though, I want to go back, and it was weird.

I did rewind if anybody knows a lip reader, If anybody I rewound.

He was basically pointing out that they were both old, like just the last time they saw each other, and they were just trying to move right by it.

I'm sorry.

I was like, but that is what the show is.

I'm sorry again that I fucked you over, and I will hope to make it.

If I had a link, you know, it would have been easier to reach.

I thought, as who you know that?

I don't like to fuck you over because you are you are a confidant one.

You're my dating and you're complaining about my mom too.

You are you?

Are you honestly and I'm protective of you?

Yeah, edit that out.

Okay, she loves the show.

Okay.

So he played football for twenty six years?

Is that a long time to play for.

It's a very long time to play football, especially in the seventies.

But I'm assuming, I'm assuming that he is also counting high school in college.

There is yeah, there is no way he played professional football for twenty.

Okay, so I've been he was a professional football player.

He played for the ramsund Oh.

Wow, Yeah, Okay.

His dad he was also a coach at you Michigan right school?

He played there?

Or he played there?

He played there, Katy, where was he?

Oh?

And one of the sons was like, going there, I saw some of you Michigan something.

And when people are like, I'm a I'm a boy dad of yeah, of course you are, yeah, of course you are.

Yes.

Okay.

So then the dad died in twenty twenty and the wife file for divorce.

That's and I'm like, Katie, what did he do?

He did he do?

He really wants to bring up his dad, which I completely understand.

She has a dead dad, but I also have.

A d dad.

He might as well be great.

Mine was my mom was dead to me years before he died.

Okay, great, But he just really wants to ring up.

There's someone who was talking about losing one of the women was talking about losing like a husband during COVID Yes, and you could really feel him almost bring up his but.

He wanted to.

He wanted to one up her, not really because it was it was actually her husband.

Yeah, your dad was a different type of connection.

Your husband's like forty.

He was like he was like thirty eight or something.

He was young, and she had little Chill, a four year old, and he's like, my dad died at the age of ninety two.

Yeah, okay, well okay, so then he has indeed it in years and I wrote down yeah right, yeah I don't.

But just like Gary when Gary's like, how do you.

Know you don't like hip replacement?

That last year we had Gary when her his wife died, and he was like, you know, I was just loyal and it was like we found he was like, fuck, the whole town was.

I think this under underscoes Jackies's point about mel actually is that Gary was such like a grifter ass, and it was like like, oh, this sweet wanted to start to going.

I think he wants to be like the money and influencer and because.

He like broke up with the woman money related, right, So now we see mal and we go like, good, at least it's not that Grift or Ship's you are he?

For those of you who.

Didn't watch last year, he boned the backup dancer for Prince and then was like, call it off.

I don't even want to go.

And then he goes on the day with Teresa and he's like, wait, you got money, and then he proposes to Teresa and then she and then he ignores her.

I think when she won't like she she wanted a prenup.

Yes, that's what, and he was like, uh yeah, I'm gonna fuck everybody.

For prenups exact exactly.

She's like, well, my kids aren't okay.

So so I just don't believe that he is.

Indeed, so he says he's lonely and nervous.

Is anxiety, Well, I'm sure he is nervous.

To Phase of twenty women were enraged it him.

I would be nervous, Yeah, you know what I mean.

I can't believe he managed to get there like that he wasn't not the guy because of the can't know there wasn't another guy.

I didn't he said, he doesn't want literally the premise of the show r and.

They just kept him.

Why would they so he could have.

Because the other shows were so boring that like bring them in.

They are like, this is an immediate first second of the episode.

Drama, like.

He's sexy and tall and so the pretending that they're going to look for him, but like, no, we're going to use him.

Because use him and I loved it.

The plug on Kimmel.

We're like, we're gonna go with this.

We're going to go with this guy.

They made the decision.

You know what this is.

We're making great decisions and.

They knew they know, they know it's gonna this will be a non story by episode four, if not the next episode, because.

He was going to eliminate the people that can't handle.

It, which he's already doing.

Yeah, he I was like, I don't buy that.

He hasn't dated in years, but to your point, he wants to get his dick with, he stated.

And also has of course, he's emotional, not surprised.

This is bad.

This week's bad on men.

Yeah, but we are bad.

I'm not surprised that somebody who was in the NFL who has money said young women.

Yeah, yeah, you fucking groupies your whole life.

Yeah, and that's what you're seeing, like other guys in football that you admire are doing.

Bill Belichick stating a lady, he's really opened the gates for the type of things.

But then why be the because you can do are exactly filled with women that wants to be happy to hook up with him, that are put together thirty eight year olds.

Why go how much attention do you want?

You can just roll out of.

Go to the local.

When in this episode when he walks up and they meet, meets them all at the pool, the way everyone turns and celebrates him, I was like, that's exactly what he wants.

To walk into a room and every single person there is like applauding and he's walking in.

That's it's another level.

Because you can give you want to if you want to.

If he wanted a twenty eight year old, he can get that.

Like if you're a tall NFL lawyer in Orange County, you can get whatever.

You can know.

And that's definitely what he's dating, and then going, I'm not really dating anyone because.

He's like I'm dating and he's dating one hundred of them.

Yeah, disgusting.

I could not look.

And yet I loved the episode.

Going to Make Good TV.

Yeah, it is fascinating actually understanding that, and then going like and then now he's dating all these women in there, but.

Also like if he had just shut the fuck, yeah, he would have been incredible bachelor who wanted just to get his stick wet.

But like, like that would have been fun.

Like finally, but because we know what, we all have wondered, like, does he just want to like he says, sure.

I'm sure he I'm sure there's a part of him that does want the companionship.

And you know, by the way, the women are hot, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah.

But he he wants to go with like what he's been trained to want.

Yes, yes, yes, exactly, and it makes.

Him feel old to see somebody that's his peers.

You know, probably this will probably give me in trouble.

But also I'm just like, you know, stop inviting some of these people on podcasts, you know, like I wouldn't have my grandma podcast because she goes say some wild ship.

My dad.

When my dad gave my speech to the wedding, like we didn't want and all of a sudden we heard like clink clink like and he was like, oh the father and everyone everyone of the barm was like, oh that's nice.

And then my brother, me and my mom were like, who the who gave him the microphone?

Who gave and he delivered hen't know.

He was like, my name is what I'm an alcoholic.

I'm like, yeah, okay, thanks bro, you've never been to are the only time you've been to a is right here?

Okay okay.

So then so then we go.

He's nervous and and he's like he goes, age does not matter.

So first out of the.

Out of the limo Cindy, who I believe was the one that thinks she's destined to marry him.

She's adorable and warm, Cinderella.

I really medical engineers.

I really thought Cindy was so pretty mad.

She wouldn't call her colourstone.

You could tell they're like, you've got aqua eyes like she looked.

She was beautiful.

It's also there's kind of this weird high bar right before she comes up, because I did not know he said anything on a podcast until he was like, well, I said the thing on the podcast.

It's so bad that he brought it up.

Now everyone keeps bringing it up.

It was rad yes, but so then when she comes out, you're kind of going, like, you know, who's going to come out of this the car right now?

Then it's this beautiful woman.

And they also brought a beautiful woman that thought she was destined to marry him, so it was, oh, it's not so it's a beautiful woman who also doesn't care that he said it.

She's like people deserve a second ship.

So they brought some to put him at ease that she's like, give me that mouth, but like she didn't care right out of the gate.

Okay, so he's nervous, it doesn't matter.

Cindy goes, you know, I think he has pure, pure, like pure motives, and and then she and as he she walks away, he goes call it a rap.

He liked her.

I was surprised she had to get the first impression.

Rose.

Yeah, well, he also seems like a type of guy who has like a like a ready phrase like call it a rap.

I was sort of like that felt like a really literally.

He was so fickle that each new woman was like called, he rep I'm gonna get at it with that one and that one and that one and that one.

Like he felt like like completely forgot the one right before and.

It was like, well, then this is the one for me.

Her Katie's point, I feel like his facial expressions are very hard to read.

Heart going, So are you enjoying this?

Like there was something seems like it might not be hard to read.

We might be reading it and he's not.

He's actually not having a good time and he's trying.

He's been trained, Katie, what do you think.

You know, Like like when he's like with all the women, I just feel like he's tolerating that.

I don't know.

Maybe he's overwhelmed too.

I mean, it's gotten.

They also stand up so Dawn, they were up there.

That's me.

They're like seventy years old and you're making women in heels.

They kicked them all like I would have took my e to sleep.

I could have made it.

I would have made I would have been the most fun one.

Left a show.

Now it's at ten pm.

You're like, are you fucking insane?

Ten?

Yeah, we've traveled together.

You and I would be the last two standing.

In the literature.

That's true.

I never go to sleep same, but I don't want to be chatting.

But I'll stay up all night, but I don't want to.

No, I'm up on my out and about no exactly me and men's are up on.

Yeah, I'm up on my watch and tell.

To thriving like literally like it's when I come alive and I finally I get to be made.

Once ever in my house is completely asleep.

Literally, I'm like, now I'm chilling and.

Now I'm like, I'm like, I've tolerated the day.

I've made it through that bullshit rest of my life now and I can draw the blinds and like just be my fucking play dress up.

I can play my dress up.

I can literally try and I can google people I hate.

Yeah you know what I mean?

Do you have a go to person that google that you hate?

I don't.

Okay, you don't have something you went up against it once in a while, and like a real person person.

Okay, okay, yeah, I'll get like random names.

It's recently.

No, It'll be like a random person I went to grade school, and I'll go like, who's that guy doing now kind of look.

Out, I'll see his little linkedinn.

I'm like, oh, yeah, an asshole.

I did have somebody who, Yes, I did.

I have somebody who like I didn't hate him, but like he was annoying.

And then I found out like he got killed and I was like, that makes sense, sounds.

Badgot the name of what I'm about to say, Katie, but I worked with and his mother kept an enemy's list in her wallet that basically she believed that the universe will get revenge for you.

And there was like ten names on it, and then she would just write down next to them, like Mike Castle like fire like your house had burned down, or I'd be like yeah, she would keep she was like a casual witch and she would just write down once revenge had happened, which.

Is really bad.

I feel like bad drama and that's really fucked up.

Yeah, I mean I respect I respect the garage.

Yeah, I respect the grudge that there's a gross a wallet list of a hate enemies list.

Yeah, and like on behalf of her children.

Oh yeah, she didn't like me.

Let me tell you that much.

Oh my gosh, I'll tell you more at the break her.

No, she didn't like me.

She was threatened by me, as if her child was not the one dragging me to buy cocaine.

And I've never still done it in my life.

Do you know what I'm saying?

Yeah, when there, when they're like this child, I think artists a bad influences like I have, Like I'm drinking like a cinnamon schnops.

That's like getting crazy for me.

Yeah, okay, and we're back.

Okay, So Cindy comes out.

So here comes Carol, Carol, your girl Katie.

She was hotter than I thought she would be because in her photo of Carol, the botox is really kicked in in the photo.

That was just the day before.

But she looked coming out of in her and I liked how she had her Freddy Freeman jacket on and played it cooy.

She showed a little ankle, but like I thought, it was a cute jacket.

And I found her so sexy and fun and beautiful.

You have your pick has legs.

Yeah, No, I really liked her, I think.

And the way he lit up when she was yeah.

Oh yeah, those sweet seats.

Yeah, she loved it.

He also needs like the sports wife.

I think like the wife where they has to care about wag.

He lives in California.

Yes, you ate, no way, Yes, Orange County.

But that's why that's what you and Paul kept talking about.

I've been saying, this is the.

Whole time since the Golden Measure, like these people are not going to uproot their lives.

It's crazy.

And that's why the other ones have broken up.

Yes, because they don't live in.

The same place, and prenupts were offered.

Okay, so then so then she was so cute.

She definitely had new teeth.

Good for her.

You don't get her teeth good, they said her they go.

She said she was so cute.

I was almost feel like they were doing a package to set her up to be the next bachelorette.

Like I almost she got the music, like the Cinderella music where I was like, oh, they actually don't want her to wings, they want her to be the next bachelorette.

And then she said, my theory is I'm gonna call it now she's the next Bachelorette.

I think she's not gonna win.

I think they're gonna fuck her over so she doesn't win.

They get to ask the season done filming.

Yeah, oh yeah, they always they edit backwards.

I know, but this season didn't start till like July.

I think it tastes like forty.

So she said, I thought it was cute, and she goes, Hi, my name is Carol.

She goes to anybody I've ever lied about my age, I'm sixty two.

I think that, Yeah, that was cute.

I liked that, and she's adorable, And then, oh my god, can I just say.

So?

We made it.

Normally we do top three, we do villain drunk.

The first night, we made a separate category for Diane, the hockey player from Alaska, and we loved her so much based on her bio that she was a librarian hockey player, and so we had a list.

We did draft picks for who's your Diane?

And some people Diana's or Diane, Like who do you just fucking love?

Diane?

Was my Diana?

Yeah.

It was like someone I would have loved as like a little kid.

Tell me she would have been like a nice, sweet older lady who I was.

And she plays like hockey.

She plays, she goes what she goes.

I played, she cussed, she did, she goes, you're in the penalty box, mister, what the puck were you thinking?

Yeah, yeah, I didn't hear to pe at first, I was like I don't.

Yeah, like Geo, Jimmy Kimbleton changed a lot.

He was so taken it back to be called out though, Like he didn't you see, he did not register that.

No.

No, he was like no, no, when she was really calling him.

Yeah, but then she was trying to be like, it's cute, Like she was trying to be like, no, I'm being cute, like I'm not going calling out.

I'm like kind of a little bit being but I am passed.

Yeah.

Yeah, didn't you love Diane?

I want to be friends with her.

By the way, I was rooting for Diane or other Diane.

But I was basically certain he was going to send her home.

Oh yeah, Like I was right away like, no.

She's too but she's going I thought she would honestly last longer as like sort of the Gary from the Golden Bell, like the Gary that made it to Paradise This year.

I thought she was going to be the Gary in the house that everybody loved is not going to win.

But then Gary came and was like the stud of the season on the beach.

Yeah, okay, she she had the like she was the beginning of my inability to read his facial reactions or going like, is he upset?

Like like, I was like, he does not like her.

No, of course he's pretending.

Of course he doesn't short hair on a woman plays hockey, does exactly.

She's gonna she's gonna have to wear wicks.

Did she get one injury?

She's gonna need a new.

Hill, everything, everything.

So then we get to Alexandra, who I picked as my horny one, as she was the one, the one, uh, the luxury yacht saleswoman.

This woman she was like, she was like, I love that.

There's so many beautiful women here.

It's good to like you see what's out there.

She was horny.

I was here for it.

She had a great rack, and I was like, I I thought she was a fun character.

She was hot.

And also I also fucked with Carla's walk.

Carla, I was very model walked down.

Carla is no, she's completely stunning.

And then I can't believe, I know, I can't.

She's I also did dad.

I also did even more shocks.

But by the way, I think she hurt herself at the pool party.

When she put her hair down in the gray er, I don't think you could handle when it when her when it was in pigtails.

I think when it was up in like the fun updue and just like intriguing and sexy.

But I think when it was two gray pigtails, I think I think.

That hurt her.

So then we have Debbie, who I thought in the pictures looked like Parker Posey.

Yeah.

I felt like she might have been the drunk one, because we do drunk.

On the first night, she seemed boozy.

She se boozy.

She's the athletics instructor, she's never been married, and.

She's fascinated her Dobbie.

Didn't she already get cut?

No way didn't she?

No, no, no, she did not she got cut.

No, I think she's cut.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Are you sure she's cut?

They did two cuts this episode, they did two cuts.

I think she got cut.

I think that her hair was too short for him.

I think, yeah, I think she's still in.

I think she's still in.

Is she cut?

Okay?

Then we're going to get to this, and then we're going to talk about the most important thing I've ever seen on television.

Before taking Sorry, she's there, she's okay, Well she's the last she was the last one, because that's week one.

Yeah, yeah, week two.

Okay, Okay, here's the best entrance I've ever seen in my life, and we guessed it.

Here comes Peg in a fire suit with a bomb.

Screaming, screaming, stand back, and then the bomb doesn't go off and she's in a full bomb bomb squad.

He has to hold go back to one.

She does it again, stand back, stand back, the bomb still doesn't go off, and then and then they did not go off.

She's a bomb tech.

And then they cut to her riding a Unice cycle on the street and then she takes off her helmet and outfit and she's got a huge rack.

Huge had hair like like shampoo commercial hair, and a rack for days.

Yes, the rack was really emphasized in the test amonial.

The rack was the rack was like.

I see the two bombs that the rack was incredible and I'm miss straight.

Do you feel he was until she pressured him so so later on?

Do you think he was into that entrance?

I think he was.

I think he liked the thrill seekers.

I think he was into it.

I think he saw them titties, and he was like.

I think like.

Something a little horny for like, oh, she's a naughty wrist.

I think he was like, she might be a bobcat in the sack she does bombs.

And then I think he because she also said, you said do you want this?

You said you want that?

What are you looking like?

I think he self centered enough that she had quoted things of what he was looking for, and I think he I think he felt like safe and seen and not like with the pucked by her uh huh.

But I do think later on when she got a one on one with him and she pressured him of like are you still working when you gonna retire?

I want to like girl, Yeah, and he was like forever by the way.

But also like this is not even date one.

This is conversation one, Like yeah, flow and steady hunt like what.

I mean, you know on the on The Golden Bachelor they go back to it.

I was gonna say, part of the part of the charm is it we ain't got time to waste.

Yes, And she was kind of saying that she was sort.

Of going like she was pushy about it, and I felt like, just play it cool.

Maybe to like date four, like she might not be there.

What do you think his primary thing is like that he wants to be fucking.

Yeah, horny.

I think Mormon horny attraction for sure, because we even see when they did like the little preview of what like there's a lot of kissing, there's a lot of like, you know, he seems sexual tension and interaction.

If he definitely liked like.

The woman, he liked like I'm in a nurse outfit, like like he liked when somebody's like I'm an extrovert, like like he liked a little role play.

He's gonna systematically eliminate everybody over the age of sixty four.

Yes he is, uh, and then he's gonna go with who it feels like the dirtiest in bed I think yeah, which look, look, Horney always wins on the show.

Uh huh, except for last time when the bank account won and the prenup was offered because Horny.

That was the first time Horny didn't win and then a prenup got put on the table and eliminated.

Is the is peg?

Is she the one who also had two sons?

Peg?

Someone brings up that they have two sons and he was so not interested.

You have two sons, that's why she's saying that, Okay, he didn't care.

Also, when he played when we get to it, when he played would you rather he held the cards?

He answered it and then moved on before she even silly Beach care at all what the answers.

Were trying to get to that kiss card.

It was very self centered, like he could I think he's not remotely interested in the He just like, do you feel like mommy, are you gonna play nurse with me?

Are you mad at me?

From what I said?

And are you forty?

It's interesting though, because like if you think of like how each of these things make TV, Like Jerry, you could like car Gary.

I always felt like smelled like Jerry, but called I feel that.

There was like that it was all media training, that it was like one of those people is like really trying to be an influencer or something like, I'm I'm really taking your perspective that there's something more interesting about mel because we're kind of like he's kind of an asshole.

Yeah, there's some there's almost a little bit more where I feel like it's more real, Like you know, it's like Jerry.

He was.

He was pissing me.

Gary's pissed me off.

Like, here's what's fun too about this is what's fun about it now that we're pointing this out and we're all getting on the same patre.

It's a real fucking asshole with media training.

Yeah, so the other one was a grifter with media training.

Mel has money, right, and what it is, Mel has height, mel has a good body, Mel is working, mel is.

Mill's experience, Mel.

Got service for twenty six years straight playing football.

Yeah, he's not trying to make up for lost time.

No, yeah.

Yeah, his roster is like hundreds.

And he doesn't And he doesn't have a connection to his former wife.

Is she did?

Yeah, which look I'm so happy about that.

Yes, he was just like.

Something new.

I agree that is what he wants due.

And it's also like Joan who did not want to be there, who kept like crying and she would see her grift or dead husband in a hawk but she was like, She's like, oh my god, John, you remind me of John.

John was a white collar criminal.

Opened he was investing in strip clubs.

He was like channeling laundering money into chip clubs in the Greater Maryland and DC area.

That's also that she's a grief of it is it is really, it's interesting, but it's also so painful to be reminded of you.

And I'm glad he got two sons because his sons are also going to be like, get yours dad, Like the Last Golden Bachelor is like, we don't want to see you sleep with anyone on TV.

Yes, and Joan made them remove the you can't get at it on the floor as if no one's ever done it against a wall, like if there's no bed, I guess we can't get at it.

Like very Mormon, very Christian things, very.

Christian thinking, very but okay, we're gonna take a quick break, but I'm going to give best entrance of the night the bomb, the bomb with the failure to go off, failure to go off, and then the rack reveal incredible with unicycle level.

It was also perfectly timed with you know, when you you know you're being good, you're not looking at your phone at all, You look down for like two seconds and you look at me like what the fuck is that?

Like that was perfectly timed.

Before that entrance for me, I looked away for a moment only to return to the bomb.

So as a woman who probably would have stopped watching this like this franchise eight years ago, but I'm so deep in and these are the these are the barbies and the g I Joe's I signed up for me, So I need to be up to date on the newest models to play with my I guess we can all come play with toys.

But I have to handwrite it out like a serial killer.

So a two hour episode is like a four hour episode because I transcribed the whole thing.

I mean, look, this is crazy.

No, I always love your notes.

Great, if you found this, you like she's on the who okay, like.

She was my crush.

Then I looked at her notes and now I'm sort of like I don't know where I feel like I don't know where she is with me right.

Now, Like I love you notes, these notes.

I can't read them, but I love them.

The fact that I can even look at that came says Airbnb.

The fact that I can even just say for this is insane, so so so the fact that like it's rare for me to perk up with it when I thought it was gonna be one hour, which meant it was gonna be forty four minutes, and then I saw eighty six.

I'm like, oh fuck, yeah, I was getting ready for my date.

I'm like, I thought I watched in two parts.

I watched the rest of this morning, right, I got really tired.

You're oh, well, because you I would watched it earlier.

Okay, I was.

Peaking so hard.

I feel like I edged through this entire episode.

Okay, like watch the cat.

Like each new entry, I'm like.

Whoa, I mean, whoa?

They were there were some interesting interests.

I mean, I've never seen an immediate elimination, like when she came with that puppet.

Though.

Okay, we're gonna get to that stake.

We're taking a quick breaker.

We'll be right back.

Who.

I don't know about you, but things a getting so hot in here.

I think I got a take.

I'll pay your break and we're back.

Okay.

I am acknowledging to our listeners and to our people here that were an hour and so I'm gonna clip it along.

Okay, So here we are.

Jerry came in and she was the nurse.

She was the nurse and her forty seven year old husband died and he didn't really care, but he was horny for her because she said to him, I can care for all of your needs, and she ended up getting the first impression Rose, Were you shocked?

I was shocked.

Yeah, I was shocked too.

He's really hard for me to read.

I don't He's like it's almost maybe he reminds me of my own dad or something.

But I'm so like, oh you liked her, Oh okay.

I like I think he likes like a warm woman.

That's like I will be waiting for you when you get I mean, like, who's to blame?

Mom?

I mean that sounds nice, Like like I think he knew he could get at it, and she had her He was like, where's your stethoscope?

Later, like her husband died at forty seven, he couldn't have cured less.

Yeah yeah yeah, But like I think he wants like a hot mommy who's going to also like like a hot like if he can't have a sexy baby, yeah, he'll take a horny mommy.

Well.

Also, I guess she would be braved, self reliant, like like it's almost like she is like I'm all good with like how I'm raising the kid, Like I'm so used to doing everything.

Yeah I'm the solo parent or what about you?

It's probably yeah, and that she.

Was getting at It's just like it's been so long since I've done anything for myself that like this will be my next chapter is to focus on yeah.

Get getting at it with you.

Yeah.

And he's self centered enough.

I mean he's like yummy, yummy, like yeah, yeah, yeah.

And again if I can't have a young one, like it's like mommy, mommy, mommy, because.

His kids are still somewhat young.

He still has a high school.

Oh really, one of them kids is in high school.

Still, Okay, I should have got Ever since I got in my thirties, I can't tell anyone's age.

It's like young people like, like you're that's what a high school?

I have no concept of how no old anyone is.

What one of Yeah, one of his oldest kid is twenty, because I remember, say two thousand and five, they were his oldest kid is just in college.

Because I look at them and I go like, yeah, they're like my age.

I literally can't tell yeah at all.

Tell any anybody I.

Can tell, like my daughter's adrine, if they're like around four, I can likely you can.

Tell me you can.

I actually can't.

I don't know what four is versus.

I got like the the zero to like the age of eight.

I can kind of guess, can I just play great?

Your daughters and you guys are great parents?

Thank you?

I mean, you guys are, although you know it's weird actually, in watching The Bachelor or Bachelorette, I do think about the way that people use like themselves as parents as like a mark of their character, and I sort of go like, I would never do that.

It's so weird to do that.

My friend Steve Heidner would always go well, he would talk about like meeting the other parents at school, and he's like, the only thing we've had in common is that we both had unprotected set exactly, Like all we do is pull the goalie, Like doesn't.

Mean that you're like a saint.

I shut I shut down another dad trying to be my friends so hard the other day you have to lord like called it out afterwards, like, wow, you really didn't give that guy anything.

I just don't.

It's so weird to try to to have to be forced to be friends or I'm like, I don't you know that?

And it's not a natural fit and it's somebody that you're like, oh, this is a fun thing that my child brought from.

Yes, cool.

Or if if my daughter's obsessed with your kids, I'm down to be your friend.

It's not the ViBe's not there with them.

I I can't take off.

I honestly, I have not forced my I have.

You don't want to be.

Literally my friend, And I was like, the only thing I know about it is that my daughter does not like your daughter.

I can't.

I'm not going to that.

No, you gotta have your Your loyalty has to be like every.

Day I'm hearing about your daughter being I just called your daughter your doctor.

That's how tired you to your doctor and then your number one, your doctor number two, your daughter number three, fucking over the other dads.

Okay, here we come.

Now I believe that Katie, this was your Diane.

Here comes.

Lisa was your Diane.

She was an incredible character.

First of all, she was gorgeous.

She was the estate park compleee ham oh yeah, hammered big.

She was she was kooky, she was drunk.

She's like these ladies for I'm so gorgeous.

It's just like she's like, but she was also doing that thing where she's sort of like ship talking her own job, but in a way where it's it felt like she was like dog whistling someone to say that her job is cool, which I think your job is school.

She's like, there's but she kept going like oh, and I'm just sorry I work at the park, Like no, that's you know, that's cool.

She also claimed in her fun Facts that she's never had a pedicure.

I'm sorry, Hunt never.

Highlights teeth bowtox straighting, but your toes are just fucking all like Gandalf, Like.

What's happened like that?

I don't buy it pedicure.

She hasn't, like you got some weird Maybe maybe she's never gone to an actual nail salon because they come to her.

Okay, here's my theory for you.

What the reason I brought up shoes in the pool?

My ex had yellow toenails and he was ashamed of them, and so he basically never didn't have socks on.

And so when we saw his comfort shoes for the first night, I think there might be some funky looking feet happening.

She might have some really gross those.

Things, Like it becomes so much grosser if you if you think, if you like, I have friends with gross toes, like my one of my best friends, I played D one soccer and his toe yeah.

Yeah, his toes on top of each other gives a ship like it doesn't even hurt.

You thought it was gross.

Then you go like, I would never know it gross.

I would literally never judge someone by their feet in a million years.

So I'm going to wonder if maybe from playing football or whatever, Like I bet he's going you're probably I think he has shame about his feet, whether or not they are actually worth the amount.

I don't think he wants his My mom did.

It was ever and her feet are fucking Let me tell you, as the resident, that's a weird fact.

As the resident horny pool, as a person who's jumped in pools with clothes on hands, he did, let me tell you, Yeah, the first thing I did was take off my shoes.

Get them off.

I don't I'll go in the pool.

My clothes can go.

The shoes makes it way weird.

That feel the swim c eighteen years and I was like the amount of times I've seen people jump into a pool.

I was sort of like, I've kind of never seen with the shoes on.

This sho was I don't think so strange about this.

I was like, what does that feel?

Like?

We might have seen his vulnerable underbelly of panic there where actually he might for real have been nervous about these women, and like maybe there is a slight side of him that's vulnerable, like or if they stay on the show vulnerable that maybe he did just panickage ump in the pool trying to be young and cool.

No, because also that moment someone kind of called out.

They were like, are you going to get in the pool, And it was like it took away from he was trying to just surprise them by jumping in.

I think, yeah, more than he's like.

Or whatever.

I was like, he was about to just do it, yeah, but then I got called out and I was like I'm going in immediately with my shoes on.

You know, like something happened.

I kind of liked seeing him like on the back, like having it be on the back foot a little bit because he I mean, even though he did come in on the back foot because he trashed all the women.

Yeah, everything in his age range, Yeah, like critically important is his age range.

And he's like I would never commerce like forty five.

He's like, I hope I'm walking like you.

It's like he's not that much older than you, Jesse Potter, Like it's it'd be like if it's a little insulting to be like when I'm your age, you're like, funk off.

So I'm like, yo, man, I can see a limp on he ain't walking.

Yeah, that damn.

Okay.

So then out comes it's got to.

Be impossible to be a host of that kind of the way that you have to like fill in like the Kendall of the character.

Jesse's kind of perfect.

I love I used to know.

I love Jesse.

I have a little crush on Jesse.

I saw him a person.

He was hot.

He's way better than Chris.

It's honestly, it's almost like the exact thing we're talking about with these the two Golden Bachelors.

It's like it's the type you know where I go Jesse is.

Jesse is a meathead, you know, like Chris Harrison.

It was like he's acting like he's like I love this show.

You're like, here's Chris Harrison.

Is also acting like he wouldn't bone all the contestants.

But you know he would.

Jesse actually feels like he loves his wife.

Yeah, and he probably got laid way more time and Chris Harrison never did.

So you can just feel like I've settled down, Katie.

Do you have a crush on Do you have a crush on Jesse?

Like I do?

He's hot?

Okay, great, it's unexpected.

Okay.

Out comes Sondra from last season, and he's like.

I know you, yeah, and then she's first thought, you're way too well exactly for you.

And then that's why poor.

But honestly, if she hadn't said my twin, she wanted to too the chest because he knew she was.

She was the horniest one there last time, and she was seventy seven.

My brother had a crush on her.

That was my brother's number one.

Yeah, she was my number one.

Well, it's just a nice vibe.

I just was grateful.

And then so Sondra brought out her identical twin.

Andre Andre.

It was shocking though when she got out of the cars, like she looks extraordinary, like when I.

Seventies, was like, what was she looked so hot?

Her skin was yeah, so moist, her.

Arms looked amazing, Like I was like you're you're almost eighty years old.

She was hot.

I know, I know, I know, I know, trust me, I am thin skin.

I were SPF seven.

That's where my phone can't take it.

It's constantly just lubricated in SPF seventy.

Just trying to fight the good fight, living on a hell escape till Halloween every year.

I'm trying, you know what I mean.

I wear a hat the size of this table everywhere I go.

I wear gloves to the manicurist and I'm like that bitch.

But but you know what, it's working.

I mean I was fishing, but I didn't even fish.

I asked thank you, But it is working.

You got to think, I mean thank you, but really thank you.

Okay, So then we have number one.

Oh, here was great, the ripping of the number one draft picks.

Here come the other twins.

Okay, guys made my mom.

She couldn't get through the banner.

Yeah, incredible.

Also, and wants he wants to be with the college.

I thought he was like.

All I was thinking is yeah, these are.

Now we're talking about.

I was thinking that too.

Yeah, And that woman is a mamager.

She's a professional moniter of those twins.

So the twins were on and here.

The moments are like influences.

She's trying, but her job is mamager.

I don't love it.

Nobody loves it.

Okay.

So then here comes.

Yeah, because you feel like she would be the type of woman who go like I should, I should set your son's up with my daughter.

I can't.

I can't.

We can all be bony and one.

We're a big bone pile.

Okay.

So then we have Tracy with the hats coming out the Southern the hats, crazy Tracy with her like fucking designing women hats, and she wore a hat.

She brought him a hat her min julip I wasn't surprised that she got cut.

I once stated a hat girl as well.

It was like, really it was all about the hatchet.

You got like a big tattoo of a hat and hair.

You know, it's a weird thing.

It's it's a big hat is kind of anti sex.

And I I feel like I have one giant hat for the sun, but I feel like it's not it's literally just for when I'm.

But it's not your persona no, no.

I feel like if things have gone a different way, and I if I may.

Maybe he was raised like with two loving parents.

I might have just been like, I love hats, but yeah, but I wasn't allowed to adult.

I needed to blend in more than the hat is.

The thing that you kind of like fall into.

You're like, I guess I'm a hat girl.

Yeah.

None of the other things landed the hat, is it?

Maybe it feels like where you want to be so different.

You're like, you might know me from my hat, noct I think I didn't need the hat.

I didn't need the hat.

Yes, okay, Michelle, you'll you'll know me from my trauma.

You'll know me.

You'll know you'll know me from my shirt top down, tins out dad, CPA, dad dropping me off with his like cooler filled with tab Okay.

So then upcoms motorcycle.

And she was hot, an entrance hot.

It was hot, and she was hot.

I thought she was going to get the first impression roast and she made first sparkly she should have.

She started racing motocross at thirty one, and then when fifty something, title is Cheryl Cheryl Cheryl's Hot and she was a retired US Treasury They oh that she was the one that he played would you rather Mountain Beach breage?

Like, yes, yeah, he didn't understand that.

That was like he didn't understand that game.

As you're watching the rules of that game, you know, he's like, never have I ever.

I did it.

We've seen in the trailer that she's gonna get some deep feelings for him.

She should she did.

I forgot that.

I want to be the next episode, it was weird, like this is episode two.

Yeah, I thought later in the season, what happened?

I think they might not.

I just saw her like crying, saying.

Okay, okay, so she has she was hot, she's a big Greek family, and then she wanted him to apologize.

He said it was insensitive.

Okay, So there we go.

So then in they come We're finally inside Cindy.

He put no.

I don't know if they edited this way, but the first talk was the first one to go to the limo Cindy Cinderella pillar.

First she goes, it's midnight somewhere and there.

Yeah, she's got I got three daughters.

Your good dad's are the hottest things.

She's horny for horny, horny, horney for him.

I like, someday, good for her, I like someday.

I like all the open horniness.

I want the horning is we.

All want the We're very pro horniness on this podcast.

You know, it's funny.

We have a lot of people who just listen to this podcast in their cars and their children are listening.

And the amount of.

Times we've said the word, people have just grown up hearing the word because the horney is such a funny word.

When people are like, I'm horny, it's like, I don't don't say horny, Like, don't say the word.

We're at first we started saving word horny because it's the worst thing you could say.

But like, but they are horny, and we're also very pro horny here.

Yeah.

Also, their horniness is very different from the like young bachelor horning.

They're not even horny.

Yes, yeah, my friend dated she broke up with her boyfriend.

She dated like twenty five year olds, and she said none of them could keep it direction because they're also used to porn, that they can't be with a real woman.

They're twenty five.

Yeah, and I think they were all they could not keep it up because they're all so numb from porn.

Katie thought, okay, she can't do it.

She can't do it, and that's a fair past.

So then okay, so then Carol, Carol comes up and she goes, oh.

That's find.

She talks to him about Freddy Freeman the Nephew, and he loved it.

He loved that and this.

But she already made him.

That's a good one to have.

But then she'd like, because I feel like, if I know a baseball player, they must be so famous if it's crossed into my circle.

Name, he's the reason they want to Like, what's.

That thing called a Grand Slam?

He had a crazy crazy was the thing I've ever watched.

The World Series is the Dodgers last year and it was just truly amazing.

And his moment was actually it was crazy.

Actually he's like when she said that and he perked up, I was like, I'm perked up.

That's exciting.

He was like Michael jord but a baseball.

A guy of the moment.

No, like Sani would be like the yeah, they.

Who did a big thing, you know, like where it was just a huge.

But he's a and he is one of the better players in baseball.

Yeah, her red flag with it, she had him as her screensaver.

That was weird.

You shouldn't again.

You gotta play a little cool.

Yeah, that was weird.

You gotta play it a little cool.

Yeah, I don't give it like, come on man.

Hold well, that's actually my main complaint so far is that there I didn't feel like anyone was playing it cool, Like there wasn't one person when I was like, you're really cool, I'm really into it.

Was sort of like everyone was kind of like, really, this guy, you're a hundred, So this guy this soon you know, I don't.

Know Chester No, okay.

So then we have Jerry, who is, oh, he liked her.

She's like, I feel blessed, blah blah blah, and that she passed away.

He liked her.

Then we have h They played the song teenage Dream.

They're having their pool party.

He loved the dirt bike of course.

Yeah.

And then but they were.

Oh, oh, here comes Terry the dentist who has the ventriloquist thing and her mouth completely moves and she but she looked great.

Terry at seventy one looked hot.

Yes, she was funny.

She goes listen, So you're still I'm slo dentist.

You bill all drill.

Honey, Yeah, yeah, again, ready to go with that?

You know that that was workshops of friends.

Yeah, she was ready with us.

But also there is I would say nothing less like hot male or female than doing ventriloquism.

Yeah, like, if you're good at it, that's bad and if you're bad at it, but it's also bad good version of it.

I want you to know she touched them with it.

You'll touch me with your puppy.

Yeah, no, I'm definitely not.

I'm not to agree with you.

I think that is number one of the worst, the second worst.

My friend was like at a grocery store and was like, I just met a magician that you did, And I was like, I've never dated a magician.

I dated a guy years ago when I was like twenty, Why are you meeting why is he?

Why are you talking about me over melons?

I'm like lot, Like, where are you still talking?

How did I come up that many years later?

You're a stranger.

That's the greatest trick of all.

Who became that's funny?

Who became a magician?

You can't you can't make out with me, honestly, but he didn't touch my boobs running But like you can't.

You can't sleep, You can't.

You can't make out with me.

He made out with me on his sister's gray leather sectional when I was twenty one.

He can't do that and then become a magician.

Yeah, yeah, you can't ask to be.

Before I wouldn't have made out with you.

You can't.

You didn't know he was going to become a magic I can't have.

I can't have made out with a magician in my life, but now I made.

I met up with an aspiring magician.

Yeah even worse.

Yeah know about but being seriously into puppets is woes and that is like an unsurvivable reveal.

Like if I like, I love puppets, but if if he's I love it's it's a.

Scary I heard a story about a woman Jason Siegel, and then woke up in his puppet room.

Whoa at that point he was Jason Seaguel.

Yeah, yeah, which kind of trump's anything you like?

Yeah?

Then that Dracula musical is really funny.

It was very good.

Like it was pretty good, by the way, so was that movie.

Yeah, Aaron Marshall, It's truly so much funnier than you would ever think it would.

Be watched it.

Yeah, whatever is the guy like the dentist who just.

Stays in Hawaii and like co ops like like like appropriate like a tribal name.

My name was like Luke.

He's so funny, so funny.

He was like the kind of launched Russell brand that gave us Rustle brand.

That's the one one downside of that movie.

And unfortunately he was funny.

It's funny and I hate that.

Like give Him to the Greek was also very fun Everybody in that movie is problematic.

I know.

The music is actually really very funny.

Yes, it's so funny.

So what is his character and it's it's a snow Yeah, there you gos.

Movies are funny.

Yeah, there are so many.

I still love me.

The first hour of Wedding Crashers until until they have to learn a lesson to leave the island, like with him like getting motor Vince Bond getting tortured by the mom.

And then the guy that ties him to the bed for the painting.

She has to jerk him off unto the table.

He's eating his binge eating well almost is going on dates with Rachel mcconna's and he's just binge eating and then what's his name is?

Sack?

Bradley Cooper is sacked the Republican perfect name.

If you've never seen that movie, just watch until they have to leave the island with the painting and the just turned off.

Okay, so so then we have we have he liked the bomb squad, the sun was coming up, the nurse got the first impression rose, and then the Parker Posy character is hammered.

Yeah, he gave Peg the second rose.

Blah blah blah.

He cut, he cut Parker Posey, He cut Andra, he cut uh Happy.

He also cut Katie, he cut did he cut Carla?

He cut?

He cut Carla.

Later he cut Maya that we thought was gonna win.

We thought she was the ringer and she was the youngest one.

He cut her.

Why, well, you know, he has to try to beat the charges somehow.

That sacrificial lamb for sure.

Yeah.

Meanwhile, there they are and they're in there the mansion, and they clearly they're like, because you can rent that mansion as an Airbnb.

And I felt like they did an ad for the Manchion and they really were like, look at this beautiful.

Oh you can read the bachelor of mansion it's like.

A lot, but it's like you can rent it.

And it's also I feel like they had new furniture and the girls and I love Diane just immediately arm wrestling everyone.

Yeah, like incredible.

Diane really was my Diana that moment in time.

Okay, And then there's two dates and the motocross one got the first date.

Cheryl'll get the first one.

So she got to play Cinderella dress up.

Of course she landed on the red Rose dress and she starts sobbing.

She's like, it's every girl's dream to be a princess, Like, oh my god, Okay, I mean, you know, but then it's a fun date to get.

It is fun to get me to have a whole room.

I would love that.

Are you kidding me?

You're talking about what I do all night?

When the sun goes in on I can finally be free.

I just play dress up all day.

It was that would be my dream day.

I would love that.

Well.

Also, everyone has to be always aware of the meta narrative, like they're aware of like the cameras and that they are in their sixties and they're doing all like I can I really understand every emotional reaction I'm sort of going like, oh, I would feel so emotional, like cameras are pointed at me, and like suddenly every is like a retrospective of my life and.

We're getting seen as like a sexy woman maybe when you've been like dealing taking care of your dying mother.

For four years like that.

And she she was beautiful, beautiful.

I thought the first beautiful people in season, this.

Is a hot season.

I thought the first dress was the best dress.

But she didn't pick that one, Okay.

So then Neil Lane is back.

Neil Lane.

We didn't see his branding in the Paradise finale, so I was happy to see that he's back.

He's back, Welcome back, Neil.

Don't you just get the impression that Neil Lane knows what's that guy Chad?

Who's the guy he's like, he's always got like a billboard.

It's like, loh, yeah, they know each other.

It might be he might be his brother Jess, might be Neil Laane in a way.

Yes, yes, there's some correlation.

Yes, he's like Chess Layine Neil Dane.

So then so then what's very sweet about the bachelor and like they might make them do it?

But I fall for it is the female friendships where all the women got her ready for the date.

Women were her hair and makeup.

They I love that.

It feels like Golden Bachelor, right, just like there are more kind they're like better than the pettiness that.

I love that because the friendship's billed, it's so touching and again we all I'll just I see my mom like that, like you're still having this adventure even if you're not on the one on the date, you're out of your house, you're having a slumber, you're at summer camp.

Like it's still fun to have this adventure with new women.

And for them to put makeup on her and do her hair, she looked beautiful.

I was happy for her.

But I also think too because like this, like I'm imagining like my grandma on this show, and like she would hate it.

She would be like you're kissing someone, and she would like go pray over everybody and ship but like please her, it would be she would get eliminated the first she would And I love her incredible, but I'm thinking like and so I also imagined for most of not all of these contestants like that part is also unnatural for them, and it's natural for everybody, but like it's having to be in the room where everybody's dating to.

One person even more unnaturally, even more unnatural for younger kid, right, And so the friendships part of it is the biggest thing that they can connect you.

Yeah, so that makes sense that it would be that way.

I wouldn't do well in this environment.

No, no, god, no would you?

No?

No, no no.

Laura laughs talking about me being on one of these shows, She's like, I can't think of anyone would be more misplaced.

Why would just be like I don't.

Want to talk to the cameras.

I don't want to I'm not going to interview any of these things.

Like I also would I would if I was on a bachelor.

Yeah, I would not fight for the Bachelor.

I would be like, if you won't be coming back exactly.

It goes all of my ways of interacting where it's like you're amazing, You're inherently perfect.

I also feel like I asked, I don't.

I always feel like if I stand out to like the second, I feel vulnerable, and like if it's then I'm like, I'm gonna burn out in your house.

You're never gonna see me.

Okay, you know what, funk off.

I'm gonna just go play with my fun friends like I wouldn't last.

I would just I would drop my drawbridge, take my like I would take do it.

I would take my little toys and run away.

Yeah.

Also, if I'm horny and I got to compete for one person to have sex with, fuk out of here, I'm leaving, yeah, exactly exactly, I can't do it.

Okay, so then we have, but I.

Would probably use that as my tactic.

I'd probably be one of those guys in The Bachelor is like I think I'm leaving.

She's like, no stamach, no step.

I think I gotta go, like your nice girl, like Mike's a dream.

Took her in the eye.

He'll be he'll be first first person, yes exactly, and that's my whole personality.

Only night vision cameras on him when he's up alone, Like finally, I could be free because the crazy from like two to seven am, and then he's not seen any of the Rose ceremonies.

You feel like that one contestant Demi, he would just sleep through the Rose ceremonies.

Yes, and she said Abrahamley exactly okay, you only hear.

For the what I think?

Oh that was incredible.

God, have you seen the Haunted House sketch?

The Haunted the adult's only Haunted House from I think you should leave.

I'll send it to you, okay, but it's incredible.

It's incredible.

It's incredible.

No, it's incredible like the song.

It's incredible, like.

The song that you made.

Okay, okay, I'll send it to you.

It makes me laugh so hard, I can't handle it.

And I sent it to my brother once, but I wasn't with him watching it, and he was like, yeah, that's funny.

And I was like to my brother, like, fuck off, you're dead to me.

I showed you myself.

I'll never talk to you again.

I was so.

I felt it's a good trade that he didn't think.

It was funny.

Okay, So so then, uh they so he heard all about oh the husband still the baby, husband still the baby story.

Wild almost felt like who.

Told the motocross?

I felt like she lost her stakes because it was too much.

She looked overwhelmed.

Yeah, felt like it was like, oh, this is too crazy for me.

Your husband, your mom gave it, the baby he left for a year, you give the still baby.

You can tell someone's told the story a million times and so they like kind of forget what are like the crazy details or something, so then they kind of just fly through it.

And you're like, I'm sorry, the husband stole the baby and then days and I was dead.

Yeah, and he still was able to have a relationship with the parents, and.

She prayed for him.

She forgive him, but you could see that she lost him at all.

Yeah, he's like too much craziness.

Like the sea witch gave the husband the baby.

That story was fucking He left on the day, like the he didn't go to the hospital.

The hospital he shows up a year later, she lets him in.

It was crazy.

And then the other person gives him the baby.

Gives them the baby.

They go downstairs.

There a gone girl like Rosamond Pike and gone girl.

They pieced out and then and then and then you could see his eyes glaze over, like this is too weird for me.

Yes, exactly, you gotta you gotta dole out.

You're crazy.

Yes we all know exactly exactly, But there's like it's part of their math of like there I'll stay because I'm gonna have the story that lets you know, like I have some ship that's going on.

It's too early.

No.

No, here's what I've said this before.

I've had some things happen.

Oh yeah, in general, if I'm on a first or second date.

As long as like, wait, I know that you're you're like all down with my whole thing that.

Like, I didn't.

I didn't cause any of this.

So when people go, so your parents you're still filming island, I was like, yeah, kind of like it's like technically buried in the Yeah.

I'm like yeah, like so are you still close to your film kind of like I mean like I saw your parasol together, Like yeah, an eternity.

Yeah, I don't.

It doesn't.

It's the first few dates should just be like you don't just do you have a good time?

It doesn't matter a wild story.

You you got to like basically to me, first few dates are do you vibe?

Do you have a good time?

Do you do you like each other's disposition?

Do you believe because you like you see how I have this great vibe?

And then and then let me tell you great, it's irrelevant.

You're not here.

They're not your therapist.

They're not going to fill the hole in your soul.

So like, so it's literally it's do you vibe with a person?

Not?

Can I tell you my worst trauma so you can save me from it?

Yeah, no, tears on the first date, tears on the tears a lot.

It's not that's a boner killer, that's a lady boner Killer's a lot.

We're seeing all all of their their tactics.

It's not everyone's tactics.

What is your standout tactic?

Not certainly I'm going to my dead parents.

But I am happy that is the contestants and not the action.

Completely because crying at the dead.

Does make you feel sad.

Why did they Because she was the prettiest one.

They forced it on her.

So then so then they kissed and he was horny, and then they went to the Queen Mary and they had a trio.

And then and then he goes the bike was the best infort of the night.

We find out she won she won fifty one trophies, and uh, you know this and you know all the story and uh, and so they play chasing Cars by snow Patrol.

They played both like acapella and then honestly, I love I loved it Acapella, we have we have teenage dream, we have snow Patrol, and we have Jackson five.

Yeah, okay, so then there's a.

Football group date and makes I mean, the yoga person just keeps running up sticking her tongue in his mouth.

An effective tactic or two available.

I I think it could be an effective tactic, but he is probably going to cut her eventually because he doesn't want to portray that it is an effective tactic.

Like I do think that I think these people are playing the game as well, right And also there's a little, probably a little too forwardness to it that is not forward for him right now, but like different parts of the season, that forwardness is going to come out in other ways that he doesn't.

When he got boner fever in the pool with her and he just allowed them to make out in front of everybody, that felt misguided.

He should have called off.

Yeah, they were all a let's go around make out with their byther's side of the They pull around to the side of the house and grind up against the house like don't do in the middle of the pool next to Diane.

It's an imp The entire the psychological, sociological situation that this show puts you in is impossible.

It's impossible.

I'm sort of like, yeah, totally, it's so inappropriate.

But also I just go like, I don't know.

He's telling himself.

He's like, I gotta live it up, you gotta do this.

I starts kissing, goes like this is when I say, yes, you know, It's like it's all backwards as fuck, like there's no normal way to do it.

I think, Katie, did you.

Find him that he made out?

Did you find it disrespectful to make out that hard in front of everyone?

Yes, Okay, that's what I'm talking about.

It's nasty.

It's all nasty.

Like, just don't be on the show.

That's why I watch.

I go, don't ever know and should be on this.

Okay, So then they so then they have a lot of chemistry, and then so they do the football and then she's like, this is my husband, you'll I was like, okay, yeah, okay.

So then the mom they did dance, here comes Paula Abduel huh.

I was.

I got excited, my little Harry, like the hair stood up on my arms, where like these.

They were excited, and the marching and by the way.

Some of them brought it.

Cindy was a great dancer, so is so is Chesty Bomb Squad.

She brought it.

She brought it like these gals could dance.

And I feel like even the momager sold it.

She wasn't keeping to the beat, but she tried.

Like I thought that that was a fun date.

Yes, I agree, it's way better than them having I hate when it's like any talent or whatever, and then it's like two people are going to do stand up, someone's gonna do like a ring toss.

Yeah it was.

It was hard.

So then Parker Posey, She's like, you know, I got love early and then she's asked me at forty five.

I had to start over.

But I'm are you the love of my life?

Like I was like, whoa, He's pumped the brakes on the soft blanc honey.

So then we have uh, Cindy.

He had a video from the daughter m HM and the dog play and and so Cindy made a funny joke.

She said, he said I grew up next to day in the rose.

She said, oh, did you get her that gig?

He completely ignored it.

It's like his tongue down her throat.

She like, she actually yes and did what he like, she listened to what he said.

I think she's very present.

He couldn't care less.

He's not listening to anything.

He's never listened to.

You know, his ex wife would be like this man has never listened.

I mean, imagine the joy of being the ex wife.

Can you imagine getting to watch your ex beiona on these shows and just go like, here it goes again?

Bullshit?

An asshole?

I also is I have a question?

Yes?

Are the kids that he has the children of his ex wife?

Yes?

So, which means that if his oldest kid is two thousand and five, two thousand and five is when they were born eighteen years younger?

Yeah?

Right?

So like but when he was like thirty eight, like forties, that she was in her twenty Like I can't imagine.

I wouldn't want to listen to a twenty year old either.

Wow, So like, are a twenty year old?

He married a twenty year old?

Almost they were around at age.

How old are you?

I'll be thirty nine in a couple.

Years old, are ye?

Thirty six?

So that'd be for you dating.

I want to stay with something five years younger than me, and it was like insumperable.

It's really where I was like even just that when it's too much, it's too much, you're like, you're too young.

So he's trained himself.

Unfortunately, does Zach listen to people expect to be saying something interesting and all the yeah, exactly, yes.

Wow, that's a really solid point.

Yeah.

Well, and then it's also like the boomerness of it, and then like in the football world as well.

Yeah, he's kind of a perfect story.

Boomer dude.

He's also so pleased that like the woke cultures out and he could just speak freely, and like there was numerous times when he kept wanting to call them girls, and then he called he did call them girls once.

Then you would watch them go girls women.

Yeah, the girl women, Like he doesn't want to call them women.

Okay.

Also, so he got horny for Cindy and then they grinded numerous times by the bleachers, which I liked.

I liked it.

I liked it.

I'm for it.

I feel like Cindy.

I feel like that's actually like what the show should be and that he and Cindy actually have a good chance.

Here's what I'm for the trashiness, because like everything everyone is saying about like not kissing in front of in the pool, in front of people.

I agree with all of that, but I the approach that I have to this season so far is we don't often get to see people of this age had trash.

Yeah, and like the Gary the fake.

Yes, and so this is a great give them there, give them their chance to be trash.

To just like trash.

You see the way that they're exactly that's true instead of pretending.

Also, if you are attracted to somebody and you're on a day and you're like and there, you have a second to sneak off and like you're not going to see them alone and go get it, go get it.

I loved them kissing.

I thought that was hot.

Okay, I like, you know what, this is the season let them trash.

Yeah.

I think this is the thesis for the season because it's it's retroactive making like, yeah, this is the way to watch it actually is you go like, got some trashy ones.

It's like a football game.

Yeah, this is fun.

So he's grabbing her, he was into it.

They were like so then I loved one of the women was like, I'm not getting my hair wet here for that?

Oh that was that was That was the puppetry person, the one who goes the dentist.

Terry goes, I'm not getting my hair wet.

Love it it was, and she was like and she was so as they go party time, here's Jerry, Gary, Jerry whatever his name is.

So they're like take so they're like, take off your shirt.

He jumped on, the sneakers on, and then so Peg goes, Okay, talk to me.

What's your plan when you gonna attire?

You can retire forever?

Yeah?

Yeah, yeah, she was really doing like do you ask the question?

Then he gives like the kind of like he's trying to dodge it.

Yeah, and then she goes like, but seriously, how many more years dude?

Like how much you just met the guy?

Like she doesn't know you yet, he doesn't owe you that answer.

Sixty six sixty leave him alone for a second.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm like, you'll figure it out.

If it's the right guy, you'll figure it out.

You'll figure out, yea, how you can try, you could figure like you're not there.

Yet, and also like this isn't the space to figure out that doesn't have to be figured out right now.

So then they play girls just want to have fun.

Google.

The yoga teacher just starts getting at it in the pool and she looks a little hammered chow, which I like, Which is a fun.

Wine Wait Wine Responsibilities Florida.

From Florida.

Yeah, it's the wine clock.

Somewhere.

There's like a like a home goods rose all day, like live, laugh, love situation.

So then we have but people are getting jealous.

People are getting jealous, and they're like, it's rude in front of everybody.

Yes, I agree.

So then so then he cuts our girl Diane.

He cut Mylene, who we thought was Oh he caught Mylene the model, the beautiful model.

He cut Carla the model, He cut Horny Alexander, Uh huh.

So you know, look, it was nice the the way that some of them were gonna have these directions of when they were when they got their rose that were so sincere that it kind of made me get teary eyed to it.

Know, I love I feel I Look, I'm not a cynical person.

I actually am rooting for all these people.

And that's why Mylene I was in kirk Myleene I had to go to I had her great to fantasy suite, the sexy lady that worked at the at the casino.

I thought Mylene was giving me my girl for a while.

By yeah, I guess wrong.

Guys.

I fascinating to learn what these people are into.

You know, I agree to agree.

I agreed to agree.

So I am going to.

Okay, we're going to take a quick break.

We're going to come back and we're going to do a review of the week.

But the bones zone.

Let's get in the bone zone.

Guys.

Here we go.

You guys what we just love you and we have our reviews of the week and our and our posts of the week.

We love when you review us.

You can just go on Apple Podcasts at uh and good Will.

You said this rose, You go to the bottom and you leave a review.

You know, Here's here was a really love Lily one.

We got ten out of ten five stars.

Kellie KK eighty four.

Arden and Fami is the only way to get through this mess of a VIP season.

Cannot wait to hear what her and her group of the funniest, kindest humans in the podcast university about this wild finale.

If you do Love Island next summer, Arden, I will commit to watching as your commitment never waivers.

If you can commit to watching VIP at the emergency room to do this incredible podcast, we could commit to a new show.

Anymore.

Bengals show up to your bougie garage cat Sanctuary.

You all are the best.

You know that two Bengals wandered in here that we adopted out because there was like a breeder just dumping them off.

If they weren't perfect and they lived in here, they would live it.

They were great cats.

You met the cat?

Did you do it?

Did you go in Rosie?

Anna's brother had Rosie and then you met you met Daisy?

Good girls?

Okay, all right, here we go this review.

I'm not sure if the Post of the Week is going to get a sleep Crown, but I'm gonna say it does.

I mean, that's up to you.

I can't.

I mean, it's really up to Julie.

We'll give them a million dollars if Julie.

If Julie is down to send you a sleep crown, you can have a sleep clund.

Do you sleep with the sleep Crown?

I really do.

I really love it a lot, not even not even joking at all.

Do you put it on your face or do you clutch it?

I have more than one.

I'll do face, do it over a little bit on the ears.

We also have a body pillow I had that was essential for sleeping in my daughter's bed, which is yeah, we both have to do all the time.

Yeah, like we crunch up right next to and it's the saving grace.

Otherwise you're pushed up.

I gave my body one to Anna.

Web have a body one only because at the time.

At the time I think I was married and he was so tall, and then missus nor room and we owed a little bed.

Now I have a new bed.

Uh huh, so maybe I knew a new body bet who this?

Okay, here we go.

So this is going to if you want to you want to participate.

You guys know the deal that hose nate you how to do it.

Okay, here we go.

So we're gonna narrow it down to two and then we're gonna give the winner a sleep crown.

If you want your own sleep crown, we're gonna have to change the code.

You go to sleepcrown dot com backslash w y t R code baby girl.

Okay, this is from Leslie uh Leslie Stobart Okay, ready, I hate to break it to you guys, but I think Mel might just be a basic bitch.

I do too.

I think that that is an accurate assessment of.

What I think.

I think that's specifically.

I think that's half the problem is that he is a basic bitch.

Okay, here we go.

This is from missus Wright, a girl without a hat.

Mel age is just a number.

I mean, whether you're a Milf Gilf or Golden Gilf, we're all here to fuck right.

Okay.

Then we have somewhere out there, Chris Harrison is watching Mel apologize for his age's comments and still be able to do the show.

And they have a picture of somebody throwing out like a trash can through the window.

Okay, all right, here's one.

I'm here to find genuine love with a woman half my age.

Here's number two from them, the audacity of this man who says he will only date a forty five year old while unabashedly wearing.

Orthopedic slippers with the tucks.

Number three.

I mean this versus on fire.

You can cannot convince me that Mel wasn't advised by his publicist to send the youngest woman home the first night to help improve this.

Yeah, okay, and then this is the number four.

This guy is only going to go for the women who look younger.

And the quote is from my husband who only learned of mel owens existence fifteen minutes ago, enthusiastically really revealing this shocking revelation to me.

Okay, I'm gonna narrow it down to the first two of this page.

I'm gonna do it Kim Loves Chips against Kim Loves Chips.

I'm going to go with only I'm here to find Genleen in love with the woman half my age, or the audacity of this man who says he will only date a forty five year old while unabashedly wearing orthopedic slippers.

With a Yeah, I'm going to go for that one because I think it highlights the the whole thing of these shows, where it's it's like the thing I want, but I am not the thing.

Yeah, br you look like you need a hit replace and get it, dude, you should get it.

You should get one orthopedic slippers.

Very funny.

I'm going to give it to that, Katie.

I mean that is unanimous.

KP.

Kim Loves Chips.

You one post of the Week and maybe maybe a sleep Crown Jack Keith Neil Marine.

We missed you.

I missed you, guys.

I missed being in the garage, dude.

We're thinking about We're thinking about trying to do at Arden's birthday bachelorette at the Bell House where you guys do the full improvise.

Have you ever been on one improvised to win My Love?

I have not.

I was supposed to be on one, I think, And I was.

Shooting where you play a character and you tell Hanna.

You make up a name, we make you have to do a living tans, we do hometowns or you meet mittens.

Yeah yeah, And then we wanted my brother to compete for me in a wig.

And then we revealed that it's my brother and my family might be like grocery store Joe and like, uh, you know charity, yes, or dott and could be my two brothers charity, charity, could be for.

My love charity.

I mean, so we're thinking about trying to do one.

If we did want in December, would you guys come to it, because.

That's like here in la or you said New York, New York.

Wanted to do New York at the Bellhouse.

I think you know, let me know.

Okay, because after my birthday sign out.

My party's December sixth.

Oh okay, okay, it's the six matters, the six What do you want to promote?

What do you did you promote?

Uh?

You know, listen watch watch crowd control pul TV for dropout.

Yeah, dropout is wildly popular.

It has been very good.

It is from what I've heard so far.

It was the biggest premiere the platform has ever had.

Just dope.

So yeah, let's keep it going.

Let's keep it going.

Take a moment, look at your right, Thank you so much.

What day was the premiere?

Premiere?

September eighth?

So yeah, it just happened, just happened, just happened.

I'm happy.

So it's in episode two right now is out that's been going well.

And then comedian clash if this is coming out this week?

So by live stream ticket for September twenty eighth, which is my birthday.

Yeah you really, My birthday is the next day, but that's the birthday show.

I'm going to come to it.

Soon, okay, ask you, I know, but I'm going to be my musical Okay, okay, make test big test.

Say watch watch misrepresented on YouTube?

Yeah, oh yeah, that was your tell me about that.

It was just an improvise series.

We wrote and directed and we shot in two days and uh I produced and it was awesome.

Can I also just say, and I haven't made the edit yet, but first of all, you're such a good photographer.

And I made a picture.

I made it.

I got a camera.

Don't you worry.

I'm about to bust it out and take a nice picture of YouTube.

I may.

I made a present for your bride.

That's such a good gift.

It's from this place called portray Me p r O p O R t r A I me and you.

You send them ten or fifteen ideas of like what stands for a person, and then they hand paint these wash painting.

It's truly amazing and they're beautiful.

And so we're going to have a discount if you put it because they gave me one.

So because we did, I did BFF one.

So it says portray Me BFF, you get a discount.

So I need to do I'm going to do a little edit.

I just don't know.

I'm not good at making reals.

Okay, Katy, what do you want to promote as.

Always please go to your local shelter and a doctor foster a.

Cut, Katie has a Katy has a migraine.

So that's why even worse, so that means it feels like you have you have a toothache.

I always feel like when I have as infection.

Really I wish like I have a cavity.

When I have a when I have, it's really dry.

The worst headache right now, there's a headache is.

A headache, and like a rotting tooth is a wonderful combination of a headache and a rotting tooth for me.

Or maybe I just have a connected all connected.

Imagine why I just head them to your Okay, I have watched right just Gemstones.

I have three movies that just came out, so happy.

For you're killing it right, Yes, I love it for you Eggs, I deserve it.

Thank you.

Threesomes in four hundred theaters right now, or you can rent.

You can stream on iTunes and Amazon or Apple or whatever.

This is you can do.

The movie Almost Popular is really cute and it's really like a Heather's like a teenage movie.

I'm a bad guy.

And then Year of the Fox I'm also kind of a bad guy.

Another coming of age thing.

I'm a bad guy.

You are.

Exactly.

I'm so mean you Era, except for now and then I'm gonna be on I'm free Bert.

In the last week of January and Newflix were im a nice and Leanne Krazier beautiful okay, and and that's it.

Thank you so much, good.

Boy boy Okay.

Here is the Doctor Banana Dispatch about the first episode of Golden Bachelor with mel First, I just want to say Peg is my hero.

Uh there's nothing quite like her screaming stand back over and over again as she plants a fake heart bomb.

She's so funny.

I can't believe she actually up doing the bombit.

That's incredible.

I can't believe we predicted that and.

Her she she wore a.

Like bomb outfit thing and then went away and came back dressed in a gown.

Hilarious.

Second, I want to say Diane.

Diane was everything we wanted Diane to be.

She was just her rolling up on the bike, her like skirting to a stop on the ice to play hockey like Diane is a legend.

I'm sad we already lost her in the first episode.

I also want to say Cheryl loved Cheryl with the motorbike.

I mean, who are all these women?

They all just like fly in doing the most extreme sports in their sixties and seventies.

It's really incredible.

Also, I do want to say that the batcher did a really good job rehabbing Mel to be like, yeah, I may have been a real piece of shit, but don't worry.

I've learned, and now these women are more attractive than I thought they'd be.

I don't know, Mel is a piece of work.

I really don't know how this is going to go with him, but I really do hope he means what he says when he's saying he's uh, I don't know, rehabilitated from his opinions from like two months ago, like okay, and yeah, I just want acknowledge also that Cheryl's trauma was like a story about like kidnapping, Like the way she was like the kid was just my son was just gone for a week.

It's like your child was abducted for a week.

That's wild.

I'm sorry, Cheryl, you let this man who abducted your child back into I mean, I understand you want him to have a father, but my god, that was that was so casual that she revealed that.

And also I want to shout out, Honestly, I forget her name, the woman who's the mother of the influencers.

She's a real kook.

I'm actually really excited to have her on the show.

I would also like to see her in Real Housewives of New Jersey.

I think she'd be really funny.

Every person on this show is hilarious, Sandra and Andra or Sondra and Andre.

What in the world the twins Sondra and Andre hilarious?

I think that's all I have to add.

I love this show already, even though Mel I don't know, but I'm really enjoying it.

The women are all great.

I'm so glad we got another group of hilarious women from this show.

Shout out Peg, Shout out the woman who won't stop saying Freddy Freeman, Carol.

I think her name is.

She says Freddy Freeman like one hundred times this episode.

And also, you know, I want to say that I totally called Nicole being the villain.

She keeps being like I had to give him a kiss.

I could not help myself, but yes you can.

You can't help yourself.

There's like, you know, fifteen women in this room.

We are helping themselves.

So I'm excited.

I'm excited for what's to come, and I can't wait to be on the episode next week.

Okay, love you bye.

Oh yeah, I'm gonna get all up in you tonight.

It feels so good.

I's got one little question, finger when.

You except this rule?

So you accept this rule, listen to your word?

Who you accept?

The rolls into your world?

Will you accept this Rose is a production of iHeartRadio.

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