
ยทS1 E8
8 | The Rear View Mirror
Episode Transcript
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Speaker 3You're listening to Krook County.
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Speaker 4Hello.
Speaker 5Friends, We've come such a long way since we launched Krook County, and I want to thank you for sticking with me as I tell this story, and for all the incredible words of kindness and support showed.
Speaker 2Me over these past eight weeks.
I'd like to show that appreciation by having an open and honest conversation with you, the listeners, on a bonus episode which will air in a couple weeks.
So please visit our instagram at Crook County Podcast and leave me a comment or an audio message with questions about the show or anything that you feel is relevant and I will do my very best to answer as many of them as I can.
Thank you so much.
Our family is so grateful to know that we are not alone in this journey of discovery and healing, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Previously on Crook County, I.
Speaker 6Really wanted to get back into civilian life.
I was ready for it.
Speaker 2Ken leaves the outfit for the Chicago Fire Department.
Speaker 1Just when you think you're away from all this shit, I'm covering up.
Speaker 6Fucking murders that these cops are doing.
Speaker 2The cops are just as crooked as the criminals.
Speaker 7So the brother of the cops, you know, and you're so dependent on them that I wouldn't even be here today if I hadn't stayed on the right side of that.
Speaker 2And Kenny learns that putting his past behind him is an impossible task.
Speaker 1And I always had that pendulum swinging over my fucking head that I could be called in at any time.
Speaker 2My name is Kyle Tequila.
Welcome to Crook County.
Speaker 1Just that.
Speaker 6Yeah, he's a soldier, but he's a higher end soldier.
Speaker 1I've had experiences with them in the past, and I never liked him, never appreciated him, never even wanted to recognize him as a human fucking being.
And that was my mission to snuff the fucking light out of this sky.
Speaker 2Episode eight, the rear view mirror.
Speaker 1I can remember heading off to work with the fire department still and I'm on the Eisenhower Expressway heading east.
Speaker 6I see him.
Speaker 1There's a lot of traffic in the morning, so there's stop and go, stop and go.
So anyway, I managed to warm my way in and stop and go up to him.
I was on his left, roll down the window with my we had electric windows even back then.
Speaker 6Hey believe it or not, roll.
Speaker 1Down the window, spit and of course I knew I were good as Iri up.
He heard it, he saw me, He spun out of control, and the race was on.
Speaker 2The question I asked him was simple.
You spent all these years running around the streets of Chicago working for the outfit, but you are also working these same streets as a firefighter and a paramedic.
So what happens when you inevitably run into somebody anew from your days in the mob.
Speaker 6So we did weaving in and out of traffic.
Speaker 1On the pull off sections right and left, and people actually getting out of the way for two and a half miles with this one hundred mile an hour fucking chase.
So I led the son of a bitch right into a kill.
We have these concrete embankments in Chicago that the left is the exit and the right is where you continue traveling.
So I led this son of a bitch because I knew he was raging.
Speaker 6It wasn't even thinking properly.
I knew it.
Speaker 1So I led him right the right into the exit.
I can't remember what street.
I led him right into the embankment, and I made a quick chop left and kept going at about seventy miles per hour.
But he wasn't fast enough.
He hit that concrete embankment and his fucking car exploded.
I watched it in my rooview mirror, so I knew nothing was going to happen with this guy.
Speaker 6He was just simply dead.
Speaker 1So now you're going to ask yourself, how does a guy working for a fire departm go out and snuff out a fucking mobster in front of three hundred people and go home the next morning and feel good about himself.
Well, you got to understand this.
People.
I'll use civilians out there.
These people are evil garbage.
They deserve to be dead.
The world is a better place without them.
You have no idea what these people are capable of doing, and have done, and will continue to fucking do, not unless their lives are snatched from them.
And this particular incident, I knew this fuck.
I knew his fucking history, and I knew I had a snatch the life bier this fuck.
So did I feel bad, No, not one fucking bit.
I slept, woke up the next morning, and did whatever he had to do without even thinking about it.
It was just a normal fucking kill, that's all, and my mind at that time that needed.
Speaker 2To be done.
Speaker 1I actually feel okay about doing it because I really believe I did the world of favor because the only thing this man could have done was make things worse.
That's the people.
I don't know what else to fucking tell you.
And if you can't live with that, then.
Speaker 4I don't know.
Speaker 6Grow the fuck.
Speaker 1Up to the top of the porch, to the top of the wall, now, dash away, dash away, dash away.
Speaker 2Along.
It's Christmas Eve in twenty nineteen, So up to.
Speaker 1The housetop the courses they flew with sleigh full of toys and Saint Nicholas too, Santa Santa Santa.
Speaker 6That's St Nicholas.
Saint Nicholas and Santa are the same.
Dude, do you know that.
Speaker 2My dad has been staying with us for a few days while we recorded these final interviews.
Speaker 6Ludoffs.
No, there's no Rootoff in this No.
Yeah, I don't think there's a Rudolph in this one.
No, there's no Rootoff in this one.
Speaker 4Whoa, they messed up.
Speaker 6I'll maybe they just forgot on this particular Christmas.
That doesn't mean he's not gonna be here.
It's nice.
I can almost guarantee he's gonna be here.
It's nice.
Speaker 1He might have been out for this Christmas here though, you know, maybe he had a cold.
Speaker 6Who knows.
Let me think.
Speaker 3I don't see any shiny.
Speaker 1I don't see it either, But we're not gonna worry about that, right.
Speaker 2It's so strange to see my dad switch from this cold, hard killer to the loving grandpa almost instantaneously.
Speaker 1Look at that beard, say look at us, what's that cookies and milk?
Speaker 6Just like that?
Speaker 1Right over there?
Speaker 6Buddy?
That what is that carrots?
Yeah, that's a carrot?
Speaker 1Yeah, we're gonna go with that one.
That's oh, that's right, that's for the reindeer they gotta eat too.
Speaker 6Yeah, smart guy.
Speaker 2But it's the perfect example of just how easy it was for him to hide this dark double life from us for all these years.
Speaker 1I heard him explain as he drove out of sight, Marry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.
Speaker 2As my wife and I sit here by the fire watching our five year old son Lincoln reading the Night before Christmas with his grandfather, I'm also reminded of just how much I loved my dad when I was that age.
Speaker 6Good Night, Lincoln, I'll see you a morning, lady.
Speaker 2And even after everything that's happened since, I'll always remember the man that he was when I was young.
I'm back with my dad's old ambulance partner, Mike.
I tell him what I know about Ken's mafia passed and he sits there calmly listening.
It's mostly me talking, and I can't tell one way or the other if he's heard any of this before.
He's certainly not telling me.
If he has, how do you feel in me telling you these things about his mom life?
Speaker 4Well, I'm not surprised.
Speaker 7You know, none of it's shocking to me because I you know, I knew him at the point where he was transitioning, you know, that's when I first met him, you know, So, I mean I knew he was way different than the other people I was working with, you know, But I saw all the upside potential of your dad, you know, because he was really good at being a paramedic and a firefighter.
Speaker 2Amidst all of the awful things that happened in Ken's life, and perhaps maybe even because of it, he threw his entire self into his work as a firefighter.
Speaker 7He had a passion for it, you know, he was really good at it, and he loved doing it.
Speaker 2I dug up some articles from local papers mentioning Ken's exploits as a first responder.
One article from nineteen ninety two interviews Ken, who was fighting for fair pay for his fellow medics and in a sort of twist of fate.
Another article from the Daily Herald in nineteen ninety one mentions Ken as the first firefighter on the scene of a fatal plane crash at DuPage Airport.
Just a little over a decade after that, American Airlines crash that inspired Ken to join the fire department in the first place.
Speaker 7You could see that he liked it.
You know that he appreciated the fact that he had helped somebody.
Speaker 2There were many occasions over the years where I got to see him in action at the station, on ride alongs, neighborhood events.
I witnessed first hand the respect of his peers and his chief.
One of my favorite memories of all time was probably in third or fourth grade, when my dad was invited to speak in front of my whole school about fire safety.
After the speech, there was a Q and A with the students and one smart ass kid takes the microphone, points at my dad's pants and goes, did you know your fly was open?
So my dad looks down and sure enough, his zipper has been open this entire time.
So he just looks at this kid right in the eye and he goes, I just wanted to make sure you all were paying attention, and he zips it back up and the whole place just went nuts.
I mean, people were crying, laughing, the kids, teachers, everyone.
One of the funniest things I've ever seen.
Speaker 7The firefighting thing.
He liked that more than I did.
I mean, sure, you know, it's a lot of fun.
It's exciting.
You know, there's always the thrill of are you going to get blown up or not?
You know, so, I mean it's kind of an adrenaline rush kind of thing.
But your dad was more, way more into the firefighting thing than I ever was.
He always wanted to be the first guy in, get there and get his airpack on, and get in before anybody else could get in there.
Speaker 4You know.
Speaker 7He always wanted to be at the front of the line for that.
I remember a couple times he got hurt at fire scenes and I was just like, geez, settle down, man, you don't have to be the first guy in all the time.
And he was like, I got to get in there.
He had to be the first guy in.
You know, he really wanted that.
Speaker 2And then sometime in the late nineties, the guys at the station had just finished their dinner when the alarm bell sounded and a call came through that would forever change Kenny's life and set in motion a disastrous chain of events that would eventually destroy our entire family.
Speaker 7The scariest call I ever did in my life.
We had a fire at a It was a grocery store, but it used to be a bowling alley, so it had the bowstring truss roof, you know, the arched roof like that, and it was very high roof in the place.
So they had to get a thirty foot extension ladder to get up there.
And this thirty foot banger weighs a ton.
It's like three guys got to carry it, you know, And they had one guy healing it, and that was your dad.
And they had this firefighter and full gear in an airpack going up into the scuttle.
Speaker 4And he was a big guy.
Speaker 7He was probably a two hundred and sixty pound firefighter and you had fifty pounds of gear in an airpack, so three hundred and ten pounds you're talking about.
He was all the way up at the tip of the ladder going in the scuttle, and the ladder kicked out and it fell on your dad, and the firefighter came down and he landed right on top of your dad and he is down on the ground and he looked like shit.
He was gray, and I thought, oh my.
Speaker 4God, he's really hurt bad, you know.
Speaker 7And it was probably the worst call I've ever done in my life because I was so emotionally invested in the call, and everybody's running around and screaming, and people are flying back and forth, and I'm telling him slow down.
They're like running with the stretcher.
I didn't want him to dump it over and hurt him again, and so everything got under control.
We got him in the ambulance, and my partner Joe, was on the phone to the hospital and your Dad's tell him he started coming around a bit, and he says, tell him this, tell him that, tell him this, And my partner hands the phone to your dad and says, do you want to talk to him?
Speaker 4Or do you want me to talk to Stills?
And your dad goes, no, go ahead.
That's when I knew he was going to be okay.
Speaker 7But it was really scary because I've seen a lot of people look like he looked at that time that.
Speaker 4Have died on us on the way to the hospital.
So it was really scary.
Speaker 2You know.
Speaker 7The doctor even said that, you know, if he hadn't been in such good physical condition at the time that.
Speaker 4He would he would have never survived.
Speaker 8It.
Speaker 1Fractured my left hand, fractured my right and left knee, some damage to my face and skull, and had some surgeries, got a lot of painkillers, and you know, where the hell have you been my whole life?
You know, it took a really liking to that, took a really liking the painkillers, and then that's when I started having problems with my addiction.
Speaker 6Was after getting those pain pills, after those surgeries.
Speaker 1Catalyzed my addiction, and then fueled it after that, after it got catalyzed.
Speaker 2In the years following the accident, the painkillers became a constant companion, and as the addiction got worse, Ken gradually shrank inward and distanced himself from his family and friends.
Speaker 7He knew he was struggling with stuff, but I couldn't tell what.
And I didn't really ask him because I felt like he wasn't gonna tell me anyway.
You know, he likes to play his cards very close to the chest when it comes to his personal life and feelings and what he's going through.
Speaker 2When the pills stop being enough to satisfy his addiction, he turned to heroin, which isn't as easy to hide.
You would look at his arms, they were clear as day.
You could see the veins from his fucking his inner elbow all the way down to his wrist and following up towards his shoulder.
Speaker 6They were just gross.
He knew something was up.
Speaker 4You know, it's fucking horrible.
Speaker 2I don't need to rehash the pain we all went through during this period of self destruction.
But as the years went on and the family fell apart, Holly Corey and myself eventually separated ourselves from Ken physically and emotionally.
After all the pain and abuse, what else could we do.
I had been a strange from him for nearly five years when he finally reached out to me for help in twenty thirteen, and I checked him into rehab in California, and I always wondered why now, what change had occurred to make him suddenly surrender himself to getting clean.
I think Ken's brother Rich may have the answer.
Speaker 9Right before he moved out to California, he called me up and we were talking and.
Speaker 4I just knew it.
Speaker 1You know.
Speaker 9I don't want to call it a twin thing, because we never had that, but there was something about his tone, something, And I left work and I went to the apartment and I walked in and he was sitting there in a chair, and that pistol was sitting right next to him, and I looked at him and I said, what are you doing.
I remember the response, but I said, you should probably give me that, and he said, I think you're right.
So, as far as I'm concerned, I saved his life because he was in a really bad place.
Speaker 2Over the last ten years, as my dad sobered up and embarked on the long, painful path to healing, he began to open up to me for the first time.
And even though the truth is so much more fucked up than I could have ever imagined, I'm thankful for theopportunity to finally see the man I call father for who he really is.
Speaker 6And I just hope that God I get forgiven for this.
I just hope he could forgive me.
I really do, because I think about it all the time.
Man, regret it the second of it.
Speaker 1Be careful with choices, people, Be careful the choices you make.
Speaker 6We can come back and haunt your lifetime.
Speaker 2Throughout this entire process, I have been constantly shocked about how I can still be constantly shocked.
Whenever I learned some new, awful truth about the world my dad lived in.
My first reaction is how is that even possible?
But then a second, even more powerful reality hits me that I have been completely sheltered from the evil that played my dad's entire existence.
If his goal to keep this world away from us, then he succeeded, and despite everything else, I'm grateful to him for that much.
I also want to express my deep gratitude to the people featured in this story who were so gracious and brave to open themselves up to me during these difficult interviews.
To my amazing mom for her strength and perseverance during these last twenty years as she watched her life crumble around her.
To my best friend and my brother Corey, who still carries the weight of our father's abuse.
To my uncle Rich for crawling back into his painful past and shedding some light on their own abusive childhood, and of course, for saving my dad's life that day in twenty thirteen.
To Jeff Cohne of the Chicago Tribune for sharing his unmatched expertise on all things mafia.
And finally to my dad's old buddy Mike, who also wanted to share some words of gratitude.
Speaker 7He changed my life just being friends with him.
He helped me stand up for myself and be more assertive in my life and changed my life, you know, forever.
And when I was going into treatment center and I was struggling, I went and sat and talked to your dad.
He probably doesn't even remember it.
It really helped me get on the path I needed to be on, you know.
He really steered me in the right direction, which is kind of funny because he was probably messed up at the time himself, you know, but put me on the path for my recovery.
I wish he understood how important that he is to me.
I'm basically here because of him, But he doesn't probably realize that.
Speaker 2So where does that leave us now?
Who the hell knows.
I suppose it depends on who you ask.
My brother Corey and my uncle Rich have already made up their minds.
Speaker 9With everything in consideration.
I just I can't, you know, be the better man and forgive and forget.
I just can't do it because there's just too many things for too long, you know, just can't do it.
Speaker 2My mom has a similar take, but focuses on the good.
Speaker 1I have many video tapes to look back on on the happy times.
I don't have any tapes of the horrible times.
Speaker 6Thanks.
Speaker 2This makes me happy.
For me, I've come to peace with the past.
It has tempered me, made me stronger.
I am not ashamed of it.
I do not run from it.
I look it right in the eyes and embrace it.
Learn from it, share it with the world, And one day, when he's old enough, I will share it with my son and he will know how far we have come together in spite of it.
That is the real legacy of my father, and that is what I will choose to remember.
Crook County is a production of iHeart Podcasts and Tenderfoot TV in association with Common Enemy.
All episodes are produced, written and hosted by Me Kyle Tequila.
Executive producers are Donald Dolbright and Payne Lindsay.
Original score by Makeup and Vanity Set.
Main title song is called Crush by the band Starry Eyes.
End credit song is called Dying Islands, also by the band Starry Eyes.
Sound mix by Cooper Skinner.
For more podcasts like Crook County, search Tenderfoot TV on your favorite podcast app or visit Tenderfoot dot TV.
Thanks for listening to Season one of Crook County.
It's been an honor to share this story with you.
But don't worry.
There's more to come.
Speaker 8Die in islands, fade away, leave in me alone, Nansi, my sab it you the show, the deep basbus a call and the deepest bes calling me.
Speaker 10Stops call tonight, indifference.
Speaker 8Who have everyone leaving?
Now?
Can't believe.
Speaker 10Southeast he was to do all the things I've done.
I lay awake at.
Speaker 8Night trying to say, here's got some of the first bodies that nobody knows.
I can't be.
Speaker 10Alone and tell you that straight away.
Leaving me alone, that's say my stagger to the shore, the deep basins a calling, stap me a contact colin the deep basbooes, the collarm.
Speaker 8Love my Ma, so die a sad way