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I woke up just kind of feeling this heaviness on my chest, like it was difficult to take a deep breath in, and my eyes were burning, and you can smell the exhaust and you heard this rumbling sound.

Where is that coming from?

Is that his truck?

Is that his truck rumbling?

I'm Andrea Gunning, and this is Betrayal C Season four, Episode three, Revisionist History.

April eleventh, twenty twenty two was Caroline's d day, the day that split her life in two.

It was the day her husband, Joel Kern, told her that he had received oral sex in his police vehicle while on duty.

It was also the day he was placed on leave pending termination, threatening the job their family had sacrificed so much for.

For Caroline, this wasn't just about infidelity.

It was about twenty years of lies, a picture perfect family that never truly was.

To fully understand the impact of Joel's betrayal, we need to go back in time to a few key moments in Caroline and Joel's marriage.

There were two realities happening, and we're going to show you the split screen, on one side what Caroline experienced in the moment, and on the other, what Joel was really doing behind the scenes.

Let's start with the life Caroline thought she had with Joel before April eleventh, twenty twenty two.

We had, in my opinion, what would be a fairy tale family for a law enforcement family.

We made the best of everything.

We were traveling together and we had these kids who were just rock stars.

We were talking about what it was going to look like to retire and not have a care in the world for day to day life.

We had this dream together.

We were not perfect, but we damn sure lived a beautiful and blessed life before that day.

But after April eleventh, I was lost.

To say I was numb is an understatement, like I have been with this person for more than half my life.

He is all I have known.

It just was this feeling of what the hell am I going to do?

In the days after D Day, Joel made a series of confessions.

Every time he spoke with Caroline, he revealed new details about what he had done, and Caroline began to replay the tape of her own life with Joel.

That process brought up old memories, Moments that had been buried deep in her mind now took on new meaning.

Let's start back in two thousand and one.

Caroline was twenty five years old when she and Joel got married, and in episode one, we shared that Joel's childhood friend read this passage at their wedding.

Love is patient and kind.

Love does not envy or boast.

He invited a childhood friend to do a reading and she was excited to be part of the ceremony.

Only six months after the wedding, something happened.

It was two thousand and one and email communication was still new for some people.

Caroline's aunt was using email for the first time, so Caroline decided to send her a message.

As I logged on, I couldn't get into my email account.

I noticed, though, that Joel's was already up, and so I thought, oh, she'll get a kick out of this.

Even more because she'll think it's coming from Joel as well as myself.

Caroline sent the email, but then she saw the preview lines to other emails Joel had recently received.

And I noticed the friends who did their reading on our wedding.

There were several email correspondences with.

Her, and the preview lines made Caroline look twice.

And so I clicked and started reading through them, and there was email after email exchange between the pair discussing what it would have been like had they married each other, or if they ever had a opportunity for romantic a and they got pretty graphic.

Just months after their wedding, Joel was having an online sexual conversation with a woman who was part of their ceremony, a woman who had read the words.

Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.

Caroline was stunned.

She left a note next to the computer letting Joel know that she had seen the emails.

Then she fled to her parents' house.

Eventually she returned home to confront him.

I pull into the garage, opened the door, walked through the house and he's on his knees waiting for me, and he's crying and crying and over and over, just assured me that it was just merely for attention and that you know, look, I'll do anything.

And then he said, you know, I'll go to counseling to assure you that I'll never let this happen again.

And so I said, yeah, because at this point there's no trust.

Joel said he was committed to showing Caroline that he was serious, and they found a marriage counselor.

During counseling, Joel attributed his behavior to job stress and residual grief from his father's death three years prior.

Joel said and did all the right things.

He apologized with tears streaming down his face.

He promised it would never happen again, and Caroline believed him.

After all, it was only a few emails.

I convinced myself there was no physical cheating, and so we were able to work through this.

Early on, when he did this, I thought naively that this was going to make us stronger.

After D Day, Caroline returned to this memory and she realized this was the first time she chose to see the best in Joel.

Once Caroline forgave Joel, their love appeared to grow stronger.

Just like she'd hoped, and a couple of years later, Caroline became pregnant with her first child.

In the final doctor's appointment before she was due to give birth, Joel didn't show up.

He said he had an important work lunch.

But at that appointment, Caroline's doctor recommended she'd be induced right away, so she called Joel, begging him to meet her at the hospital.

When he got there, he seemed off.

Joel had been complaining he was super tired and it's hard to like confess and admit this now, and very few people know this.

But when it came time to push, the doctor came in and sat me up and said, you know, here's what we're gonna do.

What started explaining things, and Joel raised his finger and said, can you guys just all hold on for a minute so that I can use the bathroom, And everyone just got real quiet, and the doctor said, why don't you go ahead and take care of yourself and we'll stay with your wife.

And the nurse who was in the room, she asked if I was okay and safe at home?

It was humiliating.

After our son was born.

He said that he was just incredibly tired, that he had gotten no sleep because of work and said that he was going to go home and get sleep.

Meanwhile, I was alone at the hospital with our newborn son.

This is one of the most difficult memories for Caroline to revisit.

The very first day of her son's life.

Joel was mia.

Starting bright and early in the morning.

His colleagues and his coworkers were coming in to congratulate us, and Joel wasn't there.

And so I called him and said, all of your coworkers are coming in and people are asking where you're at.

Are you going to come to the hospital see the baby and I And so he said, I just really needed a night to catch up on sleep.

Caroline assumed Joel really was exhausted, maybe he was overwhelmed by the reality of becoming a father.

But now she's forced to look back and ask herself.

Did he leave that night after I had our son to go be with someone or do something?

I don't know.

I would hope not.

I hope that he went home just to get some sleep.

But it's something now that I've replayed.

Caroline knew what she was getting into when she married a cop.

Her eyes were wide open.

There would be times when Joel would have to prioritize work and she would be the one to pull the weight.

But when it came to big moments like the birth of their child, she thought surely the family would come first, and if anything ever happened to their children, she expected Joel to be by her side.

We're going to fast forward to January of twenty nineteen, when their daughter, Nicole was admitted to the hospital.

She was thirteen.

She had a very severe bacterial infection that grew concern for her being septic, and so she was admitted to a children's hospital for about a week.

That was one of the first times I ever saw my mom cry.

I just was not doing well.

I was weak and lost twenty pounds in a week.

The timing couldn't have been worse for Joel.

He'd just been nominated for the permanent public Information Officer position.

Joel was insistent that he couldn't take any time off work to come stay with her because it would be a bad look.

I wanted him around, but I just constantly had this notion in my head that my dad couldn't sacrifice work like he had to be there, and so I don't think it was even really a choice in my head that he could be there.

They were used to Joel putting work first.

He couldn't be there to support Caroline or care for his daughter.

It was disappointing, but not surprising.

I now know why he really wasn't there.

I found very clear evidence later that he had made arrangements to meet someone for sex.

When Caroline first told her mom she met the man she was going to marry, her mom said, Jesus Christ, you'd better not be a cop.

But over the course of their marriage, he became incredibly close with Caroline's family, so close that when her mother passed away, he served as the executor of her estate.

Among the assets passed down to Caroline was a rental property she didn't want to keep.

However, Joel convinced her that it would be wise to hold onto it.

It would provide passive income.

He promised to manage it for her, and he did.

He found the runners and handled all the communication with them, But unbeknownst to Caroline, he was using that property for another reason.

We're going to go to April twenty twenty.

When Caroline looks back on this day, she sees it as Joel's closest call, a near miss, A day that could have been her d day, but it wasn't because on this day, Joel was able to stay in control.

Here's their son's memory of what happened.

I was still in high school.

I had to be sophomore junior year.

I get home from school and I usually my mom will greet me or say something when I get home, but I didn't hear anything.

And so I go up to the office and I see my mom just in tears, and she's beside herself, and she showed me.

She said, look at what this person just messaged me on Facebook.

The message claimed that Joel was sleeping with the tenant that was living in their rental property.

And then my dad gets home and he's confronted with it by my mom and he denies it.

And I remember confronting him and I told him, I said, if this is true, like we're done.

I'm never fucking talking to you again.

Joel told Caroline somebody was messing with them.

Who and why he didn't know.

But here's the thing about Joel.

He didn't get anxious or crazy.

He was calm.

Caroline insisted on going to the rental property with Joel to get to the bottom of it.

Not knowing what to expect, Caroline taped the encounter.

Hello, what's going on?

Well, you tell me.

The tenant blamed her ex boyfriend, saying he was looking for revenge after their breakup.

She strongly denied there was any relationship between her and Joel.

Why.

I don't know if he's just trying to get to me to hurt me.

I had no idea, because the thing is I was trying to break up with him.

We have art time's arguments, and then he's trying to be nice to Caroline was furious with the situation.

How did her family get mixed up in the runner's drama and how did the runner's ex boyfriend even know who Joel was?

So you said something, You said something to make some psychopath think this about.

My husband, and here's Joel defending himself in the moment.

This psychopath is got me on the road to a divorce.

My kids want me out of the house.

Remember this was the before times.

Caroline and the kids believed Joel had nothing to do with the tenant.

He proved his innocence, Seemingly to us.

Joel was able to keep his family together and put this mix up behind them.

That didn't change how their son felt when he first heard about the accusation.

I mean, I was an asshole to him after this, and I remember we were in the car together driving, and this was a very memorable moment for me, because it kind of takes gall to admit when you're wrong or are seemingly wrong.

Initially, their son didn't believe Joel.

In fact, he came at Joel pretty hard, but after the renter cleared it up, he felt guilty for attacking his father and he humbled himself.

I was in the passenger seat and it was just us in the car, and I apologized to him for how I treated him, and he accepted my apology and said thank you for saying that.

But no, come to find out all of it was true.

On the day Caroline and her kids confronted Joel in the RV, he admitted that he had in fact been having sex with the renner where we.

Got and you had sex.

At the We're in the house.

In the basement, so you go down to that dirty, filthy basement and then had sex, unprotected sex.

The entire scene at the rental property was pure theater Joel and the tenant played their parts.

Well.

We asked you, did you do this?

Did you do this?

You said no.

Nicole couldn't believe it.

Joel admitted that he contacted told her she got her not say anything to me.

So when Caroline went to the rental property to investigate, Joel had already told the tenant to keep her mouth shut.

Joel had sex on numerous occasions with the renter, but stood by while she took all the heat and he played the victim.

It's a stark example of the split screen reality.

The family has Joel on tape, at first playing the victim and then years later confessing in a cold, flat tone.

Caroline has lived through this dichotomy many times.

After D Day, Joel admitted to lies that were so disturbing.

They weren't just a betrayal of his marriage vows.

They were a trail of his oath as an officer.

In episode one, we mentioned the George Floyd protests of twenty twenty.

Joel told Caroline he was on the front lines as tensions escalated.

People were throwing frozen water bottles or rocks, and he would say, oh, look look at this bruise that popped up.

This was from a frozen water bottle.

Years later, he confessed to me that all of the bruises that I was massaging or rubbing icy hot on were not a result of the riots at all.

He admitted to me that he had been having an affair during those hours with a coworker, and he was having sex with her at their offices, at the police department, in various areas of town, or in his police car, and the marks and bruising were a result of his escapades.

He accepted her sympathy and care, all the while knowing that he actually got the bruises from having rough sex with a coworker.

We're going to come back to this coworker, but before we do, there's one more example of Joel using work as a cover of how low Joel was willing to go to avoid the truth.

January of twenty twenty two, he had a moment where he was called out to an accident in the middle of the night, and he said it was a fatal accident and that he would be out for a little bit.

This was uncommon.

Part of Joel's job duties entailed supervising the major accident unit.

This required him to go out to the scene of fatal accidents and oversee the investigation.

He was called at all hours day or night.

I was awake because he needed to get up to get ready to go out.

He said goodbye to me, give me a kiss goodbye, and I said, you know, be safe.

I'll see you when you get home.

Like many families, they shared an app called Life three sixty, which helped them keep track of each other's locations.

Why I couldn't go back to bed, I couldn't fall asleep, and so I'm sitting there kind of scrolling through social media, and then I see from one of the news sites that the accident that he was called out to had actually been cleaned up an hour hour and a half before that.

It was already moved and done.

So I looked at our Life three sixty and I saw him in just kind of this random location, not too far from our home.

I texted him and I said, hey, where are you at.

He didn't text back, and so I thought that's strange, because even if he was at some type of accident or call for service, almost always within minutes he would text back or you know, do an auto reply from his watch or something and say, can't talk right now, But I didn't get anything.

So then I got a little concerned and I called him.

He put me to voicemail immediately, and so I waited for a little bit, and then I texted him again and I said, Hey, I'm a little worried about you.

And then he texted me back and said, I'm at a second accident scene.

I'm headed to the hospital right now to help.

I'll be home in a little bit.

And so as he's saying this, I'm literally watching the phone where I can see him speeding to our house.

He's not at another accident, he's not at the hospital, He's coming from somewhere.

And so when he got home, I said, are you lying to me?

And he said, what are you talking about?

His location on the app didn't match what he told her.

He was saying one thing and she was seeing another.

Joel blamed the technology.

That must be a cell phone tower pinging wrong.

I was at the hospital.

Oh my god, do you think I want to be out in the middle of the night any longer than I have to be?

And so he just kept saying this to me to the point where I started feeling terrible.

I felt guilty for questioning him.

It's hard to look back on those moments, because when you love someone and believe in their love for you, you accept answers you believe.

After we learned about his true colors and what he was really doing, I asked him about that night and he said, yeah, I had met someone on the internet and we arranged to meet at an exit close to the Air Force Academy and that's where I was at, and you caught me.

The data didn't lie, Joel did.

This punctured Caroline's perception of her husband.

She used to see him as a hero to their community.

Now she sees him as nothing but a liar.

As for that coworker, Joel confessed to having sex with the one he actually got the bruises from.

Caroline found her number and texted her, and to her surprise, she responded.

Caroline was able to make contact with the woman that Joel had an affair with at CSPD via text, and she shared those texts with us.

And so I wrote, Hi, this is Caroline Kern, the wife of whose husband you've been fucking.

I look forward to discussing your affair that you started and conducted during work.

Hours with internal affairs investigators.

Caroline wanted the CSPD to know that this affair was going on during work hours on the taxpayer's dime.

His former mistress responded.

No, sorry, I ended what he started because he said he was leaving you and he was lying to everyone about himself.

That was almost two years ago.

Now I don't know what has happened or why he lost his job, but I'm not involved, nor have I talked to him since twenty twenty.

Ish.

You should look at getting HIV and HPV tested after his being involved in all that.

I'm really sorry for whatever has happened, but he is a total lying piece of shit and you deserve better run.

The woman may have been really sorry, but when my producer eventually contacted her, she didn't seem to have much sympathy for Caroline.

What she did say, though, was illuminating.

We recorded our conversation with the woman, and we've distorted her voice to protect her privacy.

Oh yeah, she won't let this go.

We'll see.

She told us what she thought she knew about Caroline.

Everybody seems to know Caroline and know what like.

Everybody says that she's kind of a problem.

And I'm not sure what that means.

I'm wondering how much of a background you've done on her, because from what I understand, it wasn't and this is not coming from him.

From what I understand is that you know, she was very controlling and not nice and something with some other family members.

Shouldn't let him talk to his mom or something like that.

This description went against everything we've heard about Caroline from her friends and family, and it helped us put together another piece of the puzzle how Joel kept his double life secret.

You see, Colorado Springs isn't that big.

One way to keep anyone from telling Caroline the truth was to paint her as the problem, and it seems like Joel did exactly that.

Did you ever meet his wife?

No, this coworker turned mistress wasn't the only one who heard similar things about Caroline at the department.

It seemed that everyone at CSPD knew Joel's wife was kind of a problem.

Here's a former CSPD officer we're calling Dan.

Other officers I think that were much closer to him socially would always make some comments about like how maybe he had to get permission to just do anything with anyone else from her before he could do that.

And you know, she kind of wore the pants in the house.

That seemed to me to be somewhat common knowledge in the department.

Joel's coworker was under the impression that he was leaving Caroline because that's what he told her.

He lied to Caroline, and he lied to his mistress, and eventually she figured it out.

Previously, I told you about Joel having a mental health episode.

He and Caroline were attending their son's high school sporting event.

It should have been a fun time out, but Joel was distracted.

He became extremely withdrawn and very agitated.

And so this is about twenty nineteen, now fast forward, after our life blew up.

He actually admitted to me why he was desponded and behaving the way he was.

It was because he had broken up with him.

It wasn't anything to do with our son and driving and the concern or anything like that.

The woman who texted Caroline saying I ended what he started had ended their relationship.

Within a year of the affair, he planned an elaborate bow renewal.

He stood before family and friends and professed his love for his wife.

First time around, we did church bows.

This time around, we're going to speak from the heart.

And so we're before our friends and family out in this beautiful setting on the beach, and when he gets ready to start his vows, he gets down on one knee and he says, you know, over twenty years ago I impulsively asked you to marry me, and this time I want to do it right.

Would you marry me all over again?

And has this new, big, beautiful ring.

And it was just such a shock and the surprise.

I mean, I felt like life was perfect.

On the day of his revelations.

What was once a cherished, loving memory was destroyed.

Here's their son.

That was their firsthand and I witnessed the whole val renewal ceremony.

But I don't think you can look at his actions now and say there could be any truth in it.

Maybe he thought there was truth, but and his actions absolutely not.

It's just you feel betrayal and just kind of a phoniness to it.

And so to me, there's no point in even thinking back on it, because it was rooted in a lie.

After April eleventh, as Caroline was going through Joel's emails, she found confirmation he had been sexting with someone just eight days after the vow renewal.

It was with a person he'd met online.

The person was asking for nudes.

Instead, Joel sent them a selfie.

In it, he's staring at the camera, lying back on the family couch.

Caroline was so disturbed at the thought of their home being in Joel's pictures that she sold all the furniture in their living room.

In the months before Joel was placed on leave, he could see the writing on the wall.

He knew for months that he was being investigated work, but he kept that to himself.

While Caroline was reflecting on her dual realities, she told us about an experience that happened just months before d Day.

We weren't sure what to make of it, but it affected her so deeply.

We wanted you to hear what happened.

In November of twenty twenty one, our daughter had left for school for something very early in the morning.

Joel had told me that he too was going to go into work early that day and that he'd semulater that night.

I'm still in bed.

He comes and kisses me goodbye and tells me to have a great day.

And I was asleep still, and when I woke up, I woke up just kind of feeling this heaviness on my chest.

It was hard to breathe.

She was disoriented, Their daughter was already at school.

Caroline was alone in the house.

Like it was difficult to take a deep breath in, and my eyes were burning, and I heard this rumbling sound.

Where is that coming from?

Is that his truck?

Is that his truck rumbling?

Caroline's bedroom is on the first floor, just down the hallway from the garage.

And so I got up and the auxiliary door to our garage.

Was just a little open, and when I opened it, it was like a rush of fire almost hit my face, just kind of this warmth just hit me.

The truck had been left running in our garage.

I was panicked and didn't know what to do, and so I hit the garage open, and I went out to the driveway and I'm kind of walking around trying to get my sense about me, and I'm trying to take a big deep breath in, and uh, you know, I'm finally able to gather my bearings and I go over to open his truck to shut the engine off, and I can't open it's locked.

So she ran back into the house to get the spare key.

We have a key ring holder where we put all our keys.

His police car was gone, and our daughters were gone, but his truck keys were hanging there, and so I got the truck keys down I was able to open the truck.

I opened the truck and I turn off the engine, and I'm sitting there for a second, and I'm like, what the heck just happened.

She had no idea how long the exhaust from Joel's truck had been seeping into the house.

Caroline called Joel, flustered and upset.

I said, you left the truck running with the garage door close and the door between the garage and the house just a little open.

And he said I did.

And I said, yeah, you did.

And he was like, well, there's no way I did that.

And I said, how would that happen?

Then then he started saying that his truck keys must have been in his pocket and he must have accidentally hit the off start when he was pulling away in his cop car in the morning.

I said, there's no way you could have done that.

Both sets of truck keys are hanging on the keyring, and so we went back and forth, and he had me convinced that it had to be a manufacturer defect or something something happened.

If it was a defect, it was one that could have lethal consequences.

They never figured out how the car started.

Caroline now wonders if she had really been safe in her home.

That brings us to Sunday, April tenth, twenty twenty two.

It was the day before their lives would change forever.

Little did Caroline know the two worlds she didn't realize she was living were about to converge.

During this time.

One constant for Caroline and the kids had been their faith.

Here's Nicole, I.

Have my own little path I suppose with my religion, and so I was going to Mass pretty frequently before that.

This is something that the kids might did together.

He never went.

He had always been a proclaimed atheist.

And as our daughter and I are getting ready, he emerges and says he's going.

With us again.

This was Sunday, April tenth, when Joel suddenly showed interest in going to church that day.

Nicole was excited and.

Our daughter said, Daddy, are you serious, You're really going to go?

To church with us, and he said, yes, I want to go with you guys.

I want to be with you guys.

And I think that maybe it's time I give church a chance.

I thought like, maybe this is the beginning of something new or something.

I was really happy that he wanted to have family time.

The family thought Joel may have been reconsidering his relationship with religion, but in reality, his secrets were teetering on the edge of exposure.

Cole reflects on that day.

Now she sees Joel's desire to go to church in a completely different light.

Looking back on it.

Maybe it was his last resorts, a call upon the Big Man.

I suppose call it a hail Mary.

Or maybe Joel wanted to remind the family about the virtue of forgiveness.

But at the time it felt like a lovely family.

Sunday, we went to breakfast together after church, and I still have silly pictures we took at the coffee shop we were at.

We even went to Costco together.

We just had this really good day together and I just remember thinking to myself how thankful I was that Joel was wanting to be healthy, and that maybe some of these changes that felt scary, were about ready to be just really positive things for him.

It was the last good day they'd ever have as a family.

Joel's deception didn't just destroy his career, his marriage, or his family.

They destroyed Caroline's memory of her entire adult life.

Even the best memories, like the birth of her first child, are tainted forever.

No memory is sacred, you know, At.

Random, we'll see a picture and it's like, oh, gosh, there we were at Disney World together, and then my brain goes too, God, that was such a great trip.

But what were you doing when we weren't looking.

On the next episode of Betrayal, we'll take you inside CSPD Internal Affairs on the day Joel's double life finally caught up with him.

The slip up proves that you're unable to keep track of all your lives, and quite frankly, I question how many other women are out there that may bring forward allegations in the future.

The department finally realizes what they've got in Lieutenant Joel Kern, But how do you catch a master manipulator and a lie Thank you for listening to Betrayal Season four.

If you would like to reach out to the Betrayal team.

Email us at Betrayal Pod at gmail dot com.

That's Betrayal Pod at gmail dot com.

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Gunning for all Betrayal content, news and updates.

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Betrayal is a production of Glass Podcasts, a division of Glass Entertainment Group, in partnership with iHeart Podcasts.

The show is executive produced by Nancy Glass and Jennifer Fason.

Betrayal is hosted and produced by me Andrea Gunning, written and produced by Kerrie Hartman, also produced by Ben Fetterman.

Our associate producers are Kaitlyn Golden and Kristin Melcury.

Our iHeart team is Ali Perry and Jessica Crincheck.

Story editing by Monique Leboard, Audio editing and mixing by Matt Alvecchio, editing by Tanner Robbins.

Special thanks to voice actors Kitlin Golden and Rocky All, and special thanks to Caroline and her family.

Betrayal's theme is composed by Oliver Baines.

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