Gambling was something that I did.

This is Dan Patrick takes a gamble.

One of my bookies died at the Kitchen Table, a podcast vehicle for Dan to talk about his love of gambling.

One bet, another bet, another bet without doing the actual gambling.

You're a coward.

It's easy to have a scapegoat.

And now joined by Bad Larry, Shayan Irving and Dylan the graphics guy.

I have friends.

Here's Dan Patrick.

All right, let's guess where Bad Larry is.

Dylan, I'm gonna start with you.

Where's Bad Larry in the world?

Keyev you Gran Okay okay uh shay uh.

He is in the Straits of Gibraltar, Big d Ray.

How about you.

On a boat in Italy?

Okay Ooh, Marvin the south of France.

South of France.

I'm gonna go.

I'm gonna go.

Monico, Monic, where are you?

Where are you?

Larry?

I am an Stapona.

I'm gonna have to give it to Shay.

Although Dan, you're very close with Monica.

I can see it.

It's right across the border.

Most expensive horse in the world, Monico.

Yeah, everything the rockets of Walter's closer.

They got talent though, how do you know that Monico has the most expensive escorts.

I've never been to Monico personally, but a lot of the forums I used to go and read on, you know, travel tips, they would tell you, wait, what was the second bag?

You know?

Trip advisor?

Yeah, trip advisor for trick trick.

Okay, just a review board.

Let's review the football units?

Bad, Larry?

He won three last week?

Is that right?

Larry is correct?

Okay, Dylan lost four, So Shae is up eight units, bat Larry is up three and Dylan is down eleven and a half.

Something's never change.

That sounds about right, unfortunately.

Okay, there is a new Danny cast coming up this Sunday.

Packers, Cowboys and uh you guys are all invited to have a watch party.

It's not a live stream with Shaye and myself and Marvin came last time and sat there for a little while.

Big Da Ray was there.

Dylan, if you'd like to join.

I will be here this weekend.

Okay, are you cooking?

I'll cook.

I'll cook something.

Yeah.

I mean, it's nice to just offer me up to cook.

I'm gonna bring some I'm bringing Puerto Rican pork shoulder.

You're bringing But you're not cooking it.

No, I'm not cooking it.

Here bringing it.

Oh, it's already gonna be cooked.

I'm gonna watch a game.

Ain't cooking Okay, So you.

Think I want to I don't want to watch the game.

I know football isn't really a pastime of Yours are a low.

Betting on it.

It's not much hockey is.

Yeah, but I worry about this one.

Oh no, yeah I do.

I'm deaf.

I'm really scared.

This is the game.

This is the game, this is our super Bowl.

Yeah yeah, this is where I can't we can't go live.

No, there's no way.

Okay, so bad that Cowboys money line is like very very tantalizing.

Your fucking nuts, dude, And yes, I think it's going to be a nightmare.

I think it's really going to be bad.

I think Dak is going to get killed.

I think I think Napoleon's going to dial some ship up for him.

You're only bolstering my case right now.

I don't know, man, you're down to eleven and a half units.

I think I think the floor is going to beat the shit out of us.

Okay, how many sacks does my com parsons have is there over under one and a half.

Right now, the line's not posted, but it's usually a quarter of a sack and over they'll juice it.

And however they want, like minus two hundred.

You might get a half a sack plush easily over.

Okay, I'll take the under, because, yeah, who isn't betting on over a quartersack in this way?

Should be a quarters gonna be half for sure?

Okay, who's not betting over half sack?

Who's not betting to us sack?

Sometimes they give you free ones, like Mayweather versus Connor.

Sometimes they just give you free ones.

Yeah.

By the way, Dylan wins the Diego Pavilla Award this week after betting the Dolphins money line Bengals Vikings the race you had neither team getting to fifteen points and.

It was a boat race.

Actually Carson Wentz though, who like the score was like they had like thirty five points and I looked it was like Carson Wentz was like seven for twelve with like one hundred and five yards.

I was like, nice Vikings defense going through clutch.

Bat Larry, Yeah.

I heard I had a bad loss on my Tampa Bay Jet game.

I didn't know what.

I just saw the scores and it wasn't a bad loss in the score.

But I was kicking a field goal to win the to cover and I got locked and taking back for touchdown.

Yeah, but yep, nothing is worse as the Rams and he Auburn.

The Auburn game was bad.

That was bad.

Do you think the pick six?

Okay, Rams Eagles was worse?

Rams Eagles was by far the worst.

Yes, But the Auburn safety at the end of the freaking game.

Oh, I thought you were talking about years ago where you had the pick six, the inner shot.

Oh yeah, no, No, No, this Saturday where I was covering by two points two minutes left and fourth quarter, Auburn is on like Oklahoma's ten.

They're just fucking sitting there.

All they gotta do is not fumble and not give up a safety, and this son of a bitch and I literally went to take a piss covering and I come back and they're fucking.

What the fuck happened?

I missed it.

It was ten seconds of my life.

And I went from winning all day long, going four to one or whatever the fuck to push it.

It was awful.

Do you think Jordan Davis knew the points spread when he blocked the field goal and took it back for the gy.

Yeah, I do one hundred percent, dude, I listened to your Florio talk.

I have one hundred percent think he knew the point spread.

I mean it's also Philip, let's be honest as a degenerate city.

He's cooking up a lot of gamblers by running that thing back.

But no, I actually disagree.

Like, you're a big man, you get the ball, you're taking it to the house.

I don't know, but then if that's me, But.

Then you had Lane Kiffen, Lane Kiffin saying take the over in the game against l A Shu because his girl, his daughter's boyfriend mind games talk about that.

She's dating the linebacker for the team that he's and she announced she is the relationship on the Instagram.

She's sitting in his lap.

Her name is like Landry Kiffen, right.

I lounge the relationship on the Instagram.

Shut the fuck up.

Your day was yesterday.

Today's my fucking day.

And she's door two battle happened on this day.

She's fucking that kid like she's well, we don't know that.

Oh, come on, man, she is foreign.

She is I don't know that.

Okay, I don't want Lane Kiffin to come on and say, who's this shay guy?

Mormon?

I don't know is he?

Can we get it?

Ray?

Can we get an update?

There they are?

There are Mormon linebackers out there?

Is Lane Kiffin Mormon?

No, definitely not absolutely not.

Well, why would you wonder if this guy's Mormon?

Well, because if he's not, then they are for otherwise they're just soaking allegedly allegedly allegedly.

Okay, bad news.

Yeah, I can't imagine one of my daughters was ruined my life like that on the internet.

It's so fucked up.

Yeah, why would you do that?

The date, the week?

I hate, no idea day.

But she lives with her dad.

No, well she's down on Old Miss she's on camp.

There's no way she lives with him.

Well, he's there, so she as close as you can get to living with your dad without Actually I.

Saw that thirty for thirty, The Many Lives of Blane Kiffin, and she's in there and she was the ex wife, the.

Ex wife, and it's kind of funny.

She's down there and uh, down there in Oxford sippy two.

What a mess?

Yeah, they've really started scraping the bottom of the barrel with the thirty for thirties.

I don't know, it's a pretty good thirty when it come out.

I watched it last night, but it's I think, in the many lives of Blane Kiffin, it was good.

You know, here is really set in the standard, like I can get away with a lot more ship because of what Lane Kiffin's done in his life, like yeah, failing up, yeah, being the son of money and then just like torching his career over and over.

Yeah, he's done well, o miss, he's done greater, old miss.

I mean it's usc day.

He's a Tennessee debacle.

Well, the Tennessee thing was terrible, Yeah, terrible.

And then the women, oh you know at f AU running through allegedly well well, allegedly just Lane Kiffins leftovers.

Uh uh, Larry, have you gotten in trouble over there in uh?

In your No?

No, No, it's been an unbelievably really perfect five and a half a week.

I thought I would have flown home by now already, but no, I.

Don't know how to book venture.

Yeah, how are you going to get home?

You've never gone on the internet to book a flight.

I have never gotten the internet.

I know you.

Yeah, you with two women who could have sent me home anytime.

Yeah, but you guys, there's no tension there with you and your wife and her sister.

Honestly, I thought there would have been by now, but there's Every day is absolutely beautiful.

They go out to breakfast.

I sleep till like ten thirty or eleven, and then like they come back, like one o'clock and we start bouncing, bar hopping.

I'm I'm gonna I send you guys a picture.

While I was after Marvin called me so big big brain gamble and has a picture.

I'm inside the bar to be quiet with the window, looking at my wife and my sister and Will and the rest of the people in this square.

And all these guys do is from three to nine we drink and then go home to bed, and the regulars come out at like six thirty or seven and all the rest of the night.

It's unbelievable.

It doesn't look like anyone works.

It's a late night continent.

Larry.

Yeah, the GDP.

Definitely late night, and it's definitely ah.

I guess the apartments in the house over here are so small that you'd rather spend two hours sipping one beer at a table outside in a square than be in your living room.

It's the only way I can put it.

I think he cracked the code, Larry Weird.

When are you coming back.

Monday?

We leave tomorrow, go to Madrid for a couple of days, and we fly home Monday.

So besides the Brighter Cup my Monday night, I can actually bet and watch my bet.

I haven't seen one play of football yet this year, college or pro.

That's sad.

Yeah, it's nice to still bet on the games but not have the burden of having to.

Watch them though.

Sweat dude, I love it too.

But like just throwing in bets and being in Europe and just galavanting around and being like, I'll get around to it later, that's kind of nice.

It's carefree living.

I'm looking forward to betting the Monday, I mean the Thursday night game tonight.

Is there one on assuming areas where I don't even know?

Yeah, it's Cardinals and Seahawks.

I'll probably bet that tonight at you know, ten o'clock when I'm going to bed, which will be you know, four o'clock in the afternoon for you guys and wake up tomorrow and morning to see how I did.

Is there anything to recoup here?

I mean, Dylan, this is all bloodshed here.

Yeah, well, smu over every game, Dan is turning out to be ill advice.

I will say, Dolphins made it a game with the Bills.

I did not win, but my Lions Ravens prediction was correct, sort of.

I had the Lions covering with the Ravens winning.

Other than that, not really, Dan, I just got smoked and I really should stop.

Betting on the NFL, I think, Yeah, me too.

Yeah, but that's part of the podcast.

No, I'm not going to but I'm just I should be better about that.

Okay, a little bit of a requirement.

All right, let's turn her attention to this week's college football schedule, Shay, since you're the clubhouse leader.

Yeah, Danny, I got Herbert Goniphile's versus TCU Herpoes lad in three.

I got the Golden Gophers laying five and a half against the Sopranos.

Then I got the corn fed White Boys plus seven and a half versus the Cigarettes.

I think I think you're missing something there.

Albany u n H under fifty and a half.

Two banger bingo banngo.

Don't trust UNH's offenses.

You're a habit all year.

By the way, I've bet against him again.

And Alby's blah blah blah.

Bad is U n H New Hampshire or New Haven New Hampshire.

New Haven's got a team too, and they suck?

Yeah, but I think they're playing to Kisne, I can never say that Namecane.

No, fuck that, it's Duquane.

Shut up?

How did you pronounce fuck?

Yo?

If it does?

Is it red?

If you read it?

Is it creole?

Is I went to school, would have girl named Duquesnay, she wasn't like, Actually it's.

Duke and you've been.

Faces Yeah wow to Kesney, Duk, I should love that, David du Kesney.

All right, yeah, well I think it knew Hey has got duk this week?

Okay, all right?

Two units on Albany No, no, no, on the under, dating on the under, oh the under.

Okay, my man, just want to make sure that big Dray gets those.

All right, bad Larry, you're college football.

Okay, Dan, I'm back to my roots now.

Notre Dame minus a four and a half against Arkansas.

I don't know how I've missed JMU all year.

I think they're three and zero against Bred.

Yeah, I'm taking JMU minus is seventeen against I don't even know they're playing.

Georgia Southern maybe seventeen and a half, seventeen a half.

Fine.

I have LSU minus to one and a half against myths.

Okay, I have Ohio.

I think they're plus one half.

LSU is getting one and a half.

Thank you, thanks.

Ohio State minus the eight against Washington eight.

And a half.

That line has moved like crazy.

Yeah, how's it moved?

It's opened it like thirteen, right, thirteen and a half.

They got bat down.

It was seven and a half yesterday.

That's gonna keep bouncing around and sharp money poured in on the dog down.

Yeah.

Tennessee minus seven and a half against Mississippi State.

Eight and a half, eight and a half.

Okay, that's fine.

And Georgia minus the three against Bama.

Okay, Dylan, all right, Dan, I got another funky line.

Syracuse plus five and a half against Duke uh UCF plus the six against Kansas State.

Our guy Diego minus twenty two and a half versus Utah State Venderbilt laying twenty two and a half is crazy times.

And just because Lane said to take the over, I'm taking LSU all miss under fifty five and a half.

And then Tennessee minus eight and a half against Mississippi State as well.

Okay, what happened to Kansas State?

Oh, buddy hole, bad things.

That season opener crippled them.

Yeah, bad things in the little Apple dude.

Yeah, the Dad and the Sun need to wrestle.

Yeah, maybe play for the team the old line form, or how about let's go NFL Shay, NFL Danny, which has been sucking ass for me, Like every year, I feel like the NFL.

You know what, I don't even like Bett.

In the NFL.

College is so much more fun.

I don't.

I don't like Anna lucrative.

I got the Higant's lane six against the Harballs, I got the Texans lane seven against the Titans, and I got I think this is a rat line, but Chiefs plus two and a half, I don't get it, So I'm betting it.

And every time I say that, I fucking lose.

So let's do it again, bad Larry your NFL picks?

Okay, Dan, Tampa Bay plus three and a half again, Philly Kansas City plus three against Baltimore.

Kansas City's getting two and a half Kansas City.

Okay, just finally gonna win the game.

By the way, if the Buccaneers beat the Eagles.

Yeah, Baker Mayfield is the leading candidate for the empty pick.

Oh yeah, one hundred percent.

Right, Okay, what are the odds of that?

What were the odds of that?

Preseason?

I'd love to see that because Bankers having them.

He is like the fourth or fifth best odds.

Now, unbelievable.

Man, All right, what else do you have?

Yeah, Dan, I want to cancel my Charger Giant.

Bet.

I put that in before I knew they'd switched to Russell Wilson's not quarterbacking for me anymore.

Yep.

So I'm just getting rid of that Charger.

You know.

This is the new future of the Giants.

I got a root for us, so I can't take the Chargers, okay, So just Ray, just put a line right through that bet.

I'm not taking it, Okay, And I have the this is for Shay say, I'm roving for you guys.

I took Green Bay over forty five and a half against Dallas.

Yeah it's forty seven and hit it twice.

Ooh, I'll still keep it at forty seven.

You know, Larry does this every time.

He'll go, oh, all right, I'll still take it.

He's backed off the one before it's happened, all right, Dylan NFL.

All right.

Then tonight sea Hawks minus one and a half against the Cardinals.

Ratty, but it opened at plus one.

And a half.

Sea Hawks, Yeah, no, smellfunk the doors.

Not overthink it.

Trey McBride first t D score plus nine fifty.

I really need to hit when I hit two of them motherfuckers.

This guy doesn't score touchdowns though he does not a lot of yards, a lot of touch no touchdowns.

Chargers minus six against the Giants.

I'm not a coward like Larry, and I had the Packers minus seven against the Cowboys.

But more I have been thinking about it, the more I like Cowboys money line.

I knew it.

I knew it.

I knew it.

Okay, I can't take Cowboys money line.

Jesus right, plus two eight is out?

Yeah?

Okay?

The romblant okay?

Uh and oh yeah right?

Do we have Ryder Cup stuff?

Oh yeah, what is it?

Are you all betting on Europe?

Is that true?

Yeah, what the fuck when they're trying to win?

Funny, So you're not trying to win.

Might win a deportation?

Is what happened that there's no German players.

I shows up and they're not taking me.

The Ryder Cup all start point in the mount.

Yeah, there he is taken.

There's a leftist.

They might take you.

Yeah right, like you're clearly we don't know where from, but you're illegal from something.

Take me to the White House and give me a job.

That's what they're going to do, Johnny Johnsy of the Inferior bad Larry, do you have Ryder Cup action?

I have right, I'm over here, Dan.

I have Europe to win.

He's been probably.

I got John Rahm to be the top European score at plus four twenty five.

Okay, Europe to win is plus one seventy.

Larry, you're welcome.

I only had I looked this morning and it was so you give me one?

Yeah, yeah, you want that, Larry, Yeah.

I know I want that.

Doesn't Europe spank us?

I mean five years in a row?

Yeah, I think they spank us and golf.

I don't care if it's in New York.

Okay, that's page bab They definitely seem like on paper a stronger team too.

Uh, Dylan, you got ryder co.

Yeah, I've got Europe to win plus one seventy.

I guess it's not quite the Patriot of shape, but we currently have our European correspondent boots on the ground over there, and he likes it.

I like it.

Mortgage bet USA and.

Then Larry cannot be farther from it.

You do in five units.

I'm hammering him.

I'm hammering the USA.

I can't wait for.

Camber Town, just like Bud Crawford.

Bengo Bengo.

But are you doing this because you're blinded by red, white and blue?

Five years in a row.

It's just like black Jackie, who's five in a row?

You just double up?

Right, Martin Gale America America, America.

There's definitely some blindness there.

But yeah, man, it's payback time.

Fuck Europe.

But if you have if you lose four hands of black jack, do you double up?

No?

Five?

Then I double oh five?

You double up?

Yeah?

Well I max Quin tupple up.

Yeah, Larry?

Have you gambled over there?

Any casinos?

I went into the one casino in like you needed to show your passport to get into the casino.

So the first night we didn't have a passports on us, so we just blew it off.

But the next night I walked down with the girls with our passports.

But there's no live gambling.

It's all video ships.

So no, I haven't gambled at all.

But I've been into a couple of parlors.

What town, Larry, I'm in where the casino was?

Oh, there's casinos almost in every one of these beach towns.

Which one did you go to?

I'm right next door to where I am now?

And he doesn't know enough, Larry.

You got to buy like a membership for fifty year.

Oh, they give you over here.

I want to be So you're risk in five units on America, you gotta be.

If I'm getting plus one seven you what do you minus two fifty or two?

What it's like one fifty?

Yeah, then go minus what one fifty?

I'm risking to win five too, That's what I'm fucking doing.

It can't be minus one fifty and plus one seventy.

It is so really Yeah, you know it's because you have the line, Larry, with the ties like plus like eleven.

Hundred right.

Through way line, just like your vacation.

Oh so Larry, you should you should actually go to Monico, to the casino there and be like where's the Chris crossboker table?

You know well that you need a jacket first of all.

And then I talked to you son.

You said, Dad, you got to hire a bodyguard to go.

It's not worth it.

So we blew Monica off.

Wait a bodyguard.

Imagine Larry gets assassinated in Monica.

Oh man, it's like said and the bodygud is more like your your driverbody keeps you away from your trouble spots.

Boo, fuck that guy.

I don't want who following to the trouble spot?

Wait?

Are there bad trouble spots I went to?

I went to Monica and is I didn't see any trouble would No?

Yeah, Morocco, Right.

That's not Monico.

What Larry was looking at Morocco from Jibralthar and he's like Monica.

His sounds like Doco.

They were without a bodyguard.

That you need a camel and a bodyguard.

Morocco makes sense to have.

A hour starting with three guys like.

Stop, how much beer could you drink in that amount of time to get that hammered Larry, and you know what.

We're banging on the window for me to come outside right now.

Okay, good luck, mache.

I think I'm gonna be leading off next week.

Okay you're America about Well, we're not.

It's a football season, so it's not Eve gonna be on the show.

But yes, I'm risking to win five.

I'm gonna hammer that.

Go America, Viva Larry.

Good luck.

Yeah, his wife and his sister in banging on the window.

They were for vacation.

If my wife had a sister, would you take him to Europe for five weeks?

No?

Yeah, the way you check in and out if you want, But no chance.

If your if your wife had a sister, no chance, dude, No fucking way.

Five weeks with an no hail.

Now they've got something special that I think they do.

They do travel a lot together.

I still have to hear that Larry is afraid of flying because they always seem to be driving everywhere in the un.

Yeah, that's why he's like, I'm never going back to Europe.

It's not because he's having a bad time in the English thing that's bothering.

I think his wife brings her sister so they can actually go and do things.

Larry's not getting fun.

Larry would just want to sit at a bar.

Actually makes a lot of sense.

And that's it.

Like he does it once again.

If he thinks someplace is Monaco and it's Morocco, like he has no clue, that's.

All you need to know.

If it's like, you know, the desert place would make all the what about Hey they.

Got pyramids here Monaco?

He just keeps going around.

I've been in Monaco.

I didn't know they had trouble spots.

I was like, trouble parking, trouble paying for ship.

Yeah, the trouble zer taxi might be a Mercedes instead of a rolls Rice.

Monaco and Morocco.

I don't want to go to Monaco.

It was honestly, I've been there, but I was Did you gamble there?

I don't gamble?

Come on, did you walk in the casino?

I did with a jacket and ship?

I guess I don't.

I don't.

I walked in.

I mean it was very elegant.

It was you know, a lot of a lot of gold.

In theres live in Monica.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Well.

Shooters I tried going into shorts on they really I was rebuffed.

I don't we were this is college.

But can't you wear something that looks elegant while wearing shorts.

I see these you know, athletes that they have these shorts on, you know, with a suit.

The School of Rock does Jack Black?

Did you see the Ryder cup photo from the gallery?

Man, I'm so sick of this ship.

Put a tie on you.

Thank you every all the ESPN guys with the sneakers just wear loafers.

We're drivers, dude.

Yeah, Like, what the fuckw about bare feet next time?

Rather be natural like a teenager a fucking kid.

You know that's not allegedly either.

You look like a fucking kid.

Yeah.

It's a bad look.

Yeah, I don't know when that the Europeans.

You know, dressed up.

That's a power move.

It's intimidation.

You're in front of like a sixteenth century castle and these schmucks show up with chest hair hanging out.

Looking like you really like me.

Yeah, that's embarrassing.

I would have churched.

I would have looked ten times as good as I would have said.

It is a bad omen and just looking at the side by side of the picture like those guys are gonna kick the ship out of them.

Not a good bet, damn it.

Someone's here for business, someone's here for leisure.

Yep, I want the business man.

Yeah, for the gram They're here for the.

Graund Graham doing it for the Graham.

Okay, I think we've done enough.

That's it for another week.

Dan Patrick takes a gamble, and of course Shay and Irving wherever you get your podcasts, doing a show tonight.

Have a special guest on Dylan no barbecue connoisseur from Amazing Ribs dot com.

Me head.

Oh, okay, to cook finally.

The science of cooking.

He's got the science behind It's pretty cool.

Is he going to help you with the Puerto Rican pork that you're going got.

A whole list of questions?

Okay, yeah, all.

Right, and then we'll have the not so streaming party on Sunday night.

Wait for I can wait.

Actually you have to wait.

You have to because this this could be bad.

Or you guys could win.

Don't you imagine there's going to be like a police getting called if they if we win, Milfred is gonna freak.

I mean here, yeah, why a noise complain oh, you get sort of fire.

No, no, if the if the Cowboys win, all right, Shay is allowed to burn the studio down.

Yeah, I get one fire a year.

No, yes, please, Well, where what do you build?

How about we build a fire?

Okay?

Yeah, sure, we just build a fire okay and then light it.

Yeah, that's how.

You build a fire.

We sacrificed fire.

I thought you might build like a funeral pyre.

Yeah, exactly, we threw there.

It's just a Shaye and irving wherever you get the podcast, and then Sunday night will be sort of watching the game live.

M hmm, yeah, the Danny cast.

Probably.

I'm gonna skip my meds the night before.

Why, because it's going to be a party.

Are you gonna take anything else?

No, That's why I'm giving my mets, because that'll make me feel.

Like like you're cheating a little.

Yeah, exactly, like you hold your breath too long.

Playing the pass out game.

Yeah, do that a cubicle at work just to feel alive.

What's she doing?

He's just trying to see how long you can I gets.

Called it sober dude.

Can you come over here and choke me?

Here?

Here?

Take my belt off?

Hey, head of HR, can you come choke?

That'll do it.

Have a great weekend everybody for Marvin, Shaye and Irving, Larry and Monaco and Morocco, Dylan, Big day, Ray and yours truly.

We'll talk to you next week.

Hm, Hm,