Gambling was something that I did.

This is Dan Patrick takes a gamble.

One of my bookies died at the Kitchen Table, a podcast vehicle for Dan to talk about his love of gambling.

One bet, another bet, another bet.

Without doing the actual gambling.

You're a coward.

It's easy to have a scapegoat and now joined by Bad Larry, Shayan Irving and Dylan the graphics guy.

I have friends.

Here's Dan Patrick.

He's back bad.

Larry is back in Jersey.

Yeah, Larry, Hello, Hello, We're definitely bad.

Let me try that again, all the way bad.

Larry's back in Jersey.

Yeah, Hey, congrats Larry.

I'm sitting at the table at Rays.

Okay, weird.

I totally I totally forgot about it.

But that's fine.

I got my picks.

I'm ready to go.

Don't even I should hang up.

You forgot about doing this?

Yeah?

I didn't even think it was Thursday.

Man, You think I know what day it is?

Dan?

You got back Monday?

I know?

And I got a baby shower on Sunday.

I've been going crazy.

I'm sure you're going crazy for a baby shower, Larry.

Dan, if you saw my punch list, I have to do today.

I'd like you to punch you.

And don't think I don't have a two o'clock box you tournament, of.

Course, of course.

Yeah, and you're ten there drinking Budweiser.

Man, you really got a punch list there, Larry.

I gotta get it done before too.

Also, Larry, you, what shade would you say your skin is at the moment?

Because you are, you gotta get it.

I know I'm gonna do it in Milford whenever you got no things have changed.

We want it done before the baby shower Jersey Special.

Yeah, for the Jersey baby shower.

Yeah, that's Sunday, so that it's not gonna happen it's Thursday.

Put it on your checklist, your punch list.

I have my boy Metcalf's son, Pete Metcalf's wedding on Saturday.

I got to rehearsal.

Perfect Friday morning.

Sometime.

We'll see about that.

Wow, all right, Larry, Well, you guys wanted me.

I thought you guys wanted me to do it.

I would have done it in Europe.

We wanted you guys wanted me to do it in Milford.

Is there a Is there a place in Milford that that is trashy enough though that it competes with New Jersey.

No, we we.

Could find a place, but it's there.

They're rarer.

But but he doesn't come up here anymore.

Exactly.

I was going to stop in, but MB wouldn't let me.

Exactly.

That's literally verbatim what he said for all right, big day.

Ray, she knows I, she knows I owe the spray can.

So you know that just might be a solo drive up for the day.

Oh well, she's gonna benefit as well.

And you have that spray tan Larry.

Yes, Ray, there's a beach bum tanning and secret Larry that does I can make you.

Uh, I can make any appointment today.

Yeah, I can't do it today Friday morning.

Yeah, I'm not doing it before the shafer Ord Larry.

This is our decision.

This is not your decision.

No.

No, I was willing to do it in Europe, but you guys didn't want that.

You made it sound like you wanted to set it up.

In Milford because we don't know anybody in Europe and you wouldn't be embarrassed at all.

You got to do it stateside, where people will look at you and say, what the fuck Larry.

Guys, so set that schedule anytime next week.

Then all right, no, no, no, you're going to a wedding and you're going to your daughter's baby shower and you walk in with a tan you look like David Hasselhoff.

Believe me, that's not happening.

Unbelievable.

Wow.

All right, let me well, it's good to have you back state side.

Larry, thank you, Dan bad Larry won one unit last week.

You're at plus four week.

Okay, okay, that's that doesn't sound like Yeah, I agree with that.

Shay won five units last week.

You're up to plus thirteen.

Rah.

Yes, Dylan lost five he said minus sixteen and a half.

Uh.

The Diego Pavilla Award goes to who's got to go to Dylan?

Dylan?

Yeah, I've got four Dan, Yes, Wow, the Diego Pavia.

And actually, speaking of Diego Pavia, I'm not gonna speak ill of our hero, but they really blew the cover on that game big time.

I mean, but Diego's getting drafted.

I think that's and it's big tilt this week.

It can be.

Yeah, he could be the next Baker Mayfield.

Yeah, the Mexican Baker Mayfield.

I saw where Johnny Manziel said, don't be like me, don't be john No, don't do don't be Johnny off the field.

You can be Johnny on the field.

Sure, Okay, that's.

Strikes me as that he dabbles in a little Johnny off the field, not to the same degree.

But I don't think we should be speculating.

I'm like a fun like it looks like it has fun.

It goes to church a lot, you think, so with his mom.

I don't know how many pews she's seen.

Wow.

Allegedly Allegedly, she seems like a party boat kind of girl, like a lake house girl.

You know what I mean.

No, I don't know.

Oh, I don't think you do.

No, I don't know.

I don't dan you're a lake house guy.

She's like a jet ski girl.

You know, see her on the back of the jet ski.

Oh yeah, like Lake Louisville party girl.

Okay, tie the boats together, going from a boat to boat, drinking, having a good time.

What's the few of those?

Does it have a sue like?

Yeah?

In Arizona, good lord, oh my god, danger town.

I know a lot of silicone in that lake.

Really, yeah, a lot of boobs boyancy, A lot of boyancy, A lot of chest pieces.

Are you again?

Is that?

No?

God?

No, I'm a for It's most American thing ever.

Fake boobs, fake lake too, I'm pretty sure.

Yeah, it's a reservoir.

Yeah, yeah, fake everything.

Yeah I haven't I haven't been out there.

Yeah dangerous.

I missed my window.

Yeah, it's ever too late.

Then you can't be the old guy there.

You can't it.

With enough money, you can.

You're good, you get it, you get a nice The problem is.

The phones on the boat.

That's the problem.

It would be.

Yeah, dude, there's funny of what you do when.

You pull out that bag of two sea, Dan, Someone's gonna have their phone.

Right after the retirement, when we went to Notre Dame USC, I don't know, ten years ago and we were looking for beer pregame, I believe it or not.

We were like, didn't couldn't find beer.

And then I kept I was walking by and I said, hey, you got a beer, and they're like, oh, Dan Patrick, come on, hey, we're doing shots.

And I go, you know, hey, do a shot and then we'll give you guys beer.

And then I got ready to do a shot, and there's like fifteen cameras that came.

I go, no, no, we're not doing to those cinnamon fireball camera.

Yeah, no, no, no, even not on camera.

I don't want to do a fireball.

Who do that?

Yeah?

Grow might have been ya.

That's actually worse.

That is worse, gold Schlop.

That's sixteen year old girls taking out in that bar.

What the fuck mind is a high school?

Is it?

Yeah?

Gold shot or too, that's a school ship.

Terrible?

Yeah, that's terrible.

Okay, Uh, let's see, by the way, the semi streaming party bad, Larry, do you want to do that one night with with Shaye where we watched the game a Sunday night game here at the Man Cave.

I'll come up for Sunday morning, Spraye hand and then do the do the show.

Actually, that's a good consolation.

Press, that's fair.

That'll be the reveal.

Okay, all right, big day, Ray, Can you find a Sunday night game that we can circle now it's here at the Man Cave though, Larry, just so you know, I understand that.

Is there a Giants Cowboys Sunday night gave by any chance?

Yeah, let me see what do we have Sunday night?

Yeah?

Ring this weekend is Chiefs and Jags.

Can I can't do it this weekend.

Larry's busy this weekend.

I'll jump in.

I find a good one.

Okay, all right, all right, let me recap.

Boy.

Somebody thought Team USA was going to dominate the scrub.

It was about to be the best comeback in the history of sports.

Terrible about to be you.

You said five units.

Didn't you?

I did.

Because I'm a patriot, I would like to propose that that counts for football units because Shay is in the lead and he had them to you know.

What, it should it should count for citizenship, and you should all be deported everyone you bet against our country.

Yeah, but we wont What about the winnings?

The most American thing?

Ever, how about the team that lost gets Deported's tough them, know, I'm just saying, you want to be a patriot, let's go all the way.

Keith and Bradley can get deported.

Bryce back to Saudi Arabia.

Kegan, It's got a lot of answers.

He needs to answer some questions.

That wind up was fucking.

Also, definitely, in hindsight, great move not picking himself because if they got like that, and a team.

There's that's a.

Lose lose that could be I agree, I agree anything to recap here Shale start with you.

It looks pretty clean except for the rider five units dude, Well.

I mean that cancels out in my Bud Crawford bet that I gave out which was five units as well, and it was actually more money because it.

Was a plus anyway, sound like Larry Well, Actually I had a good bet before.

I can't wait until the next Ryder Cup.

I'm putting thirty units on America or just I'm thinking maybe we take the show over there.

Oh I love that idea.

Then, yeah, I got a passport valid?

Way do you have a passport?

I have a passport.

But I'm thinking maybe Seaton did some research and we could stay in Limerick.

It's about thirty minutes away.

Probably have a better chance of getting a nicer set up there.

Then we could go to a day.

I stayed at Adair Manners.

That's where they're where they're playing their castle.

Yeah it's like a legit.

Yeah, beautiful, stay there?

Yeah?

What are the rooms like big Castle?

Are they?

Yeah?

Beautiful, but we're not gonna be able to stay there.

No, just so you know, the castle's got like fucking tiny rooms cause we're small back then.

Yeah, no, these the room I stayed in was, you know, large.

How old is a castle?

Was it made?

Probably seventy eight, seventeen hundred probably, I don't know.

But it's beautiful.

The land there, golf course, a couple of golf courses, beautiful.

It's got like this stream that runs all the way through it.

It's fishing there.

Yeah, there's probably some salmon in there.

Is this?

Is this a real possibility then?

Or I don't know, that's two years away.

A lot can happen, yeah, you know, just well, but also nothing can happen true.

Everything I'm betting on something happened.

Something probably will happen.

Okay, all right, bad Larry.

Any anything you want to complain about.

Yeah, so, say lost five units on the forty and five units on the golf what forty nine?

Good fucking try, layer.

I lost five units on the Ryder Cup, and we're counting it because it's not football, just like we didn't count my Bud Crawford bet.

But if you want to count the outside ship, then I'm even I'm still up more than you.

Fuck you eat I thought.

I thought we weren't counting, not during football season.

We're not.

We're not.

It's it's football season, you're not counting.

The ryder Cups told them that I didn't get my win on a my plus one seventy.

I didn't even pay attention to.

Either one of those got counted.

Yes, we've said that.

Yeah, I had Europe too, Larry, there there's football.

Yeah, I had Europe too.

Everybody did, all the smart people.

Yeah, all right, that's fine.

I didn't know we were.

I thought we weren't counting stuff before the football season, like Taylor Swift's next boyfriend or something.

But we didn't kill about either.

He got a plus nine fifty.

We didn't.

We're not.

We're just tracking it for the people's benefit.

But it's not lumped into the football you know.

It's something that's happening, and then these guys want to bet on it.

Then they bet on it.

But we're only we're only counting the football bets.

Okay, we're only okay, so say still winning.

I thought, I said last week on the show, I'm going to take the lead because I knew Europe was going to spank America, and I.

Know they won.

That was an asking, No it wasn't.

It was Sunday, and asking what Sunday.

You didn't even care about the singles matches.

They just tied.

They didn't even play the twelfth match.

And it cast that in the morning, right.

I think we woke up and it was three and a half to eight and a half right on Sunday morning.

Odds did change change from like.

Plus five thousand plus four to fifty.

It was not an as kick on Sunday, good fucking try.

It was a good tournaments on Sunday.

But the match was over already.

It was over.

But no, it wasn't.

And by the way, why does Victor Hobbling get a half a point and he can't play?

I don't know.

Yeah, they split Each team gets half a point, right, but each side and you can't play?

It should be team U, I say, gets a half point you can't answer the bell?

Yeah, I don't know.

That must be an old rule.

Gentleman bullshit?

How often is that they did not treat Rory like a gentleman?

Did not?

Right, well, he didn't treat her like a gentleman either.

Allegedly allegedly a big fan of the media, allegedly.

Rick was during the pot a little bit.

He was.

He was he can't turn around you to bet page and not expect to get shipped for being a dirt bag.

What do you even though yes, you can't answer that with the same thing that they're giving.

And he was like, I just never seen anything like.

It's so bad for golf.

It's bad for golf first off, as you being outed as a filannerer allegedly, and then you turning around to the patrons and saying fuck you to them, that's what's bad for golf war and then you refusing to talk to the media unless you want to piss and moan and cry.

That's what's bad for fucking golf, You big fucking baby.

I like you throw patrons in there.

I went to the.

Masters' diets, amazing masters.

Don't call them gallery, don't call them crowd.

It's not rough, all right, patrons?

Okay, at leads us to this week.

Wait, Dan, you didn't want my free cap.

It's breaking good?

Yeah, okay, Well, every time I look at your bets, it looks at like all of my high school papers with all the red ankor and c minus my daughter, my eldest daughter was like, hey, look over my homework.

My teacher cradd it.

And I looked it over and it was all just trash, Like she got smoked and she was like, I gave it back towards She's like, no, you get to keep it.

I was like, what the fuck?

Why would I keep this?

It's going on the fridge.

You got destroyed.

I thought she was asking for help with it, and I.

Was like, good looks dude, chat GBT for that.

Yeah, what's nine times four?

Do you find the volume of a cube?

What the fuck?

That would Actually, that would get me.

Too, Dyn't.

Do you want to recap anything?

Yeah, well I'll recap the Wednesday because it's shorter.

Unless you all miss under fifty five and a half, Lane Kiffins would take the over.

Obviously that was an under fact, and I crushed that Seahawks bet the Cowboys money line that goes with that same bad beat.

And then, like every other smart person, man, I had your up to win the Ryder Cup.

Yeah, okay, that brings us to this week's shay.

You're the clubhouse leader, give me your college picks please.

Yeah, we got the Cyclones plus one and a half versus nasty.

We got Heroin Huskies over fifty three and a half.

Now it's fifty two and a half.

Daddy'll still hit the fifty three and a half.

I'm taking the boiler Makers off the line.

I'm taking it off.

I'm taking the boiler Makers off, Howard.

I had them at plus ten.

I was plus nine and a half.

I don't like it anymore, howardly taking it off.

That's not very American of Youah.

I don't care everything.

I got NC State lane forty two and a half versus camp Ancy State got upset last week.

Right, they're gonna have fun with fcs this week because next week is Notre Dame.

They're losing that fucking week too, So they're gonna have some fun win by fifty this week.

So the Camels of Campbell.

Yeah, camble Campell's yeah, okay, cool helmet actually yeah, because the camel.

Don't you just have a uh camel Fielder cigarette like that camp Joe Campbell?

Yeah, just have Joe up there.

Oh we should that would be a that's the alternates.

We can get Campbell to sponsor the show.

Yeah, well you'd have to switch off American spirits, which again immediately the coward cigarette.

By the way, why do you say that they take thirty minutes to smoke and there it's the illusion that they're healthier.

It's still a cigarette.

It's the fact that they take so long with So when I say Baddy's got to go to the garage, I can sit out there for half an hour and bang a heater.

But you could smoke one normal cigarette and then just stand out there.

No, because then when the kids come out, they don't see any smoke.

They know that I'm not doing.

Shit, So it's better for them to see you smoking longer.

I tell the truth to my children.

And then we got the curries L one and a half Orsu's stets in which this.

Is a good bet, gentleman, if you are yes at all.

Only one of the curries went to Davidson.

That's fine, that's good enough for me.

Curry.

I like them spicy.

Maybe the goat with the peas, goat curry with the peas.

Yeah, david Son Lane one and a half alleged bad Larry, you're a college picks, okay.

I have Wisconsin plus sixteen and a half against Michigan Pittsburgh lay and six and a half against Boston College, Illinois minus the nine and a half against Purdue just ten.

It's nine and a half.

No, it was ten when I bet at yesterday, but now it's nine and a half.

Okay.

I'm on Texas minus the six and a half against.

Florida at the swamp.

Interesting, James, Damn you minus ten and a half against Georgia State.

It's twenty and a half.

That's fine.

Sam, You Miami minus four and a half against Florida State.

Okay.

I'm taking Ohio State lane at twenty three and a half.

Against the Gophers, the Mighty Gophers, Okay, Dylan, all right, Dan, unlike Shay, I'm not a coward.

I'm leaving Purdue plus nine and a half against the ALIGNI on the board, Arizona minus twenty and a half against a fumbling and bumbling Oklahoma State, a rudderless Oklahoma State.

And then Dan, this is just an obligatory bet.

You just made a face.

Because you're gonna take Vandy in the money line.

I'm gonna take Vandy money line against al Dan plus three thirty.

The line's ten and a half.

Vegas is giving them a fighting chance.

Oddswise, Well, they're just screwing everybody.

Yeah, that's more likely it's happening.

But they're tricking us.

Albret's gonna kick the shit out of them.

But you know what, I'm a loyalist.

Notre Dame minus twenty and a half against Boise State Boise State at Notre Dame Greenfield automatic.

L Grass Grass, green Grass Speed their toast, fucking blind.

Syracuse SMU over fifty eight and a half.

I'm back on the smucas I'm a masochist.

Okay.

And also Miami minus four and a half against Florida State.

This one I switch.

I like Florida State.

Initially I switched, but I'm I'm sticking with money.

Wow, all right, Shay.

NFL.

Yeah, Danny, after going undefeated last week in the NFL, I am back all the way back.

Did you hear Jackson dart uh Mormon?

Yeah?

From Utah?

You all knew that he looks Does he not look like one?

No?

He does not.

He's got a huge chain on.

Okay, well, and no, he does not look Mormon.

It'd go to Ole, miss too.

That's not very good that factor in.

How whatever factors.

I'll tell the troops later off air.

There's a lot of great Mormon quarterbacks in history.

A lot.

Steve A.

Zach Wilson, Steve Serkesian.

He's a Mormon, he went to b Yu.

No, he's Armenian.

He ain't Mormon.

Jim McMahon went definitely not a Mormon.

He just brings.

Steve Young of caps of coffee.

Gifford Nielsen, Come on here are you pulling these names from Gifford Neils Just making guys.

He sounds like a Mormon ty debt.

That's not a Mormon.

You know, there was a Jewish kid that went to b Y.

You remember the one that kicked out of school of his name, uh Shabbist Shabbist Rosenbaum, No Sage Rosenfels that he.

Went to not there or something.

Last year he didn he transferred to Lane because he was alleged.

Allegedly.

All right, so what what do you have?

NFL was Ravens plus one and a half versus the Texans colts Land seven.

My phoenix is the Daniel Jones is laying seven against the Raiders and then laying two and a half the Harbaughs versus the Native Americans.

Okay, bad, Larry NFL.

Okay, I send you in the Rams, and I'm gonna change that back because evidently somebody's not playing.

The line was five and a half and now it's like nine or ten or.

Something, and brock Perdy is not playing and their receivers aren't playing.

It's eight and a half.

Right, I'm gonna bet the under in that game.

I think he said it was forty five.

Let me see, right, forty five, forty four and a half, forty four and a half.

Well, I want the under in that game.

And then i want my Giants getting one and a half from the Saints Vikings minus three and a half against the Browns.

I also have the four and a half, four and a half against the Browns.

I'm giving four and a half in the Viking game.

Yeah, Ravens are the getting one and a half, yes, okay.

Then I want the Buccaneers getting three from the Seahawks.

Three and a half, three and a half at Seattle, right and a.

Half against the Commanders, and sorry, the Chiefs against the Jaguars on Monday Night.

I believe minus three and a half, three and a half.

That's fine, okay, Dylan.

All Right, Dan, as announced on the show earlier, I've got the wounded animal.

Parlay right, Yeah, I didn't even know about that.

Fuck Sky Moore anytime touchdown forty nine ers plus eight and a half and mccorkl Jones over two hundred and eleven and a half passing yards thirty two to one.

Baby, how could it lose?

Sure?

I know, I all your bets.

I say, how can it lose?

And then they do sometimes?

Right, Bill's minus eight and a half against the Patriots in Buffalo and the Eagles minus three and a half against the Broncos.

And I'm gonna go back to one of my old systems that usually work.

Then Shay and Larry both have the Ravens plus one.

My Ravens plus one half against the Texans.

I will be taking the Texans minus one and a half against the Ravens.

The Ravens are an abject mess at the moment.

And that's your team.

That is my team, and they look bad and is your team?

Anything else that needs to be mentioned during this program?

Yeah, the Big ten is trying to sail out to private equity.

You see that?

Yeah, like I do me, I care well for one private equity gets involved.

Nobody wins.

I thought you're a capitalist.

I am not a hyper capitalist.

I am not a slave to capitalism nor democracy.

What do you think this means for the Big ten?

If they get the hedge fund guys coming in higher ticket prices three two beer, three two beer, three two beer, Yeah, they're gonna make more money off a beer instead of five zero beer.

Then make more money off of the three two, and they're gonna make and they're gonna make the fan base more docile and easier to control.

I don't.

What I really find interesting is that the NCUBA fumble the bag so hard that now you have the actual commissioners of the you know what I mean, going after private equity instead of the nc DOUBLEA having something to do with it.

They screwed the pooch so bad.

Now you've got it, you got money flowing it off.

They got nothing to do with it.

It's a joke.

I know.

There's no actual committee or infrastructure to set rules or bounds to any of this shit.

And it could just go.

It could be a free for all.

They could have a whole new football league next year the Saudi's run.

The problem that I see is now the SEC has to do this.

Yep, what's it?

It's going to prevent probably a Premier League type or NFL type system for college football, where you would have let's say forty of the best schools and they would be playing in their own conferences.

They'd be facing each other.

This probably will preclude something, and that'll kill all these small programs completely.

We're also just starting to get a slightly more even playing field.

With exactly'll shoot him in the foot.

It's disgusting.

Yeah, well, ask these presidents and chancellors.

It's all about money, all of it.

Yeah, as if tuition is not enough for years, ye, well they're the most.

Wait till your three daughters get ready to go to college.

That's why I'm trying to get the German citizenship through my old man, because they can go to Europe for fucking four grand or four thousand euros for the whole damn year.

Send him the Army Rangers school.

Well, I mean, the middle one might be inclined for that, but the other two definitely not.

Do you have anything you'd like to add doing.

No, it's a good show today, Dan, Thank you for having me.

Yeah, you've got to sit in for Fritzy.

Yep.

They're holding down for the tribe.

But you don't observe the holiest of holy.

This is the holiest and I may have atonement and what did you do?

Probably made a Palestine Joe Wow, Shay a legend, really bad, Larry, anything that you would like to add to this program?

Not right now, Dan, I will Ray.

I'll check check with Ray for when I'm getting the sun whatever it's called sprays hand.

Yeah, and just coordinated with whatever night that Sunday night football is in all kill m Meum coming up.

He's staying with you.

No, he's not staying with We know he's not.

Imagine you Larry and the airstream together.

Yeah.

I stay here on campus in the airstream.

I was just going to ask, does anyone ever slay in that airstream?

Stay there?

Dan, Yes, A couple of times a week.

I take a nap in there.

It's nice.

Yeah, somebody's yelling your name, Larry.

You got it bad?

Larry's back?

What bad?

Larry's black?

No?

All right, see Larry, thanks guys, Okay, good luck?

All right about this week?

Then he's always got something going on always.

I feel bad for me.

Just had to suffer through five and a half weeks in the South of France goes back home.

Spain and gild to Jersey.

Well, that's a depression.

But where he lives though, it's nice.

It's really nice.

Ware to drive from Newark to his place is not.

Gross now the Jersey Turnpike but.

He's in Segurt beautiful, and that's really a very nice place.

Yeah, it's surprising.

Yeah.

Uh, Shay and Irving wherever you get your podcast?

Is Dylan back on?

Yeah, we did a show last night, Dan Oh you did yep, and we I think it went well.

Yeah, we wore sunglasses.

Wore sunglasses.

Is very bright.

Uh.

We have a special pot coming up, the Roommate Pod, The Great Debate, The Great Debate.

The Roommate's making her debut.

You've been you've been kind of teasing this.

Yeah, so it's actually happening next Wednesday, and then who knows when it'll come out, if it even comes out, I don't know, but I'm scared, and Dylan's going to be moderating.

I gonna wear a tuxedo.

Okay, it's gonna be better.

I'm definitely not going into it completely biased against one of the parties, but.

It feels like things are going well with the roommate, I haven't heard any negatives.

Seems like you're in love.

Yeah, super duper in love.

You know, kids are all in school.

Roommate kind of just gets the pitter patter around the town, around the county, going to lunches and tennis, and she seems pretty fucking satisfied.

Chardonay, oh, chardonay.

She'll believe if she's getting made fun of.

We went, Oh, we went somewhere in Westport for my mom's birthday dinner the other week, and I was like, where are you going?

I said what it was?

He was like, I've never been there, but the room has been there, like fucking twenty times in every restaurant.

She's like, oh my god, have you not been there?

I was like, you, I don't go anywhere.

You have all fucking day to do.

All you're eating beans out of a can and you're driving.

Sardines are the fucking work parking lot and you're having a fucking shabilee at casame.

Why.

Uh, she's a very bright woman.

Why didn't she working, dandy, That's a whole other episode.

Cut.

Yeah, she is working.

She's a mother.

Okay, are you a father?

Though?

Well, that's debatable.

I mean, yes, legally.

Are you're a husband, you make a better uncle.

No, you're a father.

Are you a husband?

Yeah, I'm a good husband.

I'm a good husband.

I'm a father.

Legally yes.

As far as my parenting style goes, I'm not.

Like.

We had a bunch of people over the other day and a bunch of kids running around and all this other shit, and the roommate.

Was like, no iPads, none of you get iPads.

Go outside and play.

And so my middle one is like, I'm going to make a fort and with all the other kids.

And they make a fort and they have like iPads under there and they're watching the iPads and I see them.

And she shows me.

She's like, look, daddy, look And I'm like, what are you doing?

She goes iPad.

I was like why.

She was like, because I want to.

I was like, okay, wait, why are you showing me.

She was like, cause you're cool.

You won't do it.

That's like my history.

I don't I don't do shit.

I just hang out and say hi.

I don't punish them or anything.

No, no, god, no, no, they have daughters.

No, they don't do anything bad to me ever.

But they were like yell at the roommate like be mean to her and ship.

But they're like, hey, daddy, I'm like, hey, what's up, Like can we watch a movie?

I'm like, yeah, give a ship.

You know we have candy?

Look yeah fuck yeah, you're the good cop.

Yeah it chocolate like cool?

Have something right?

Yes, Marvin Shaye, did you say your kids yell at your mom, yell at your wife?

Well, no, yeller.

They're like mom, And I'm like, damn, that was rude.

Oh that's age appropriate.

You thought I thought you meant.

I thought you meant like yell.

No.

It's like it's like it's like, you know, they get hormonal or whatever.

Like the eldest is ten and she's starting to be like, oh, mommy the worst.

And then she's like, hey, daddy, could we get some ice cream?

Like yeah, sure, it's gon ice cream, great idea.

She loves me, but her mom used to girl.

Fucking Yeah.

I think that that is how it goes a lot.

Need to have a boy.

I know, if you have a boy, roommate all fall in love with the sun and then she'll be happy again.

Yeah.

It's a good point.

I know.

I wonder who give me a son?

What do you think if I bring it home any son, like if I just bring home a adopt one, if I bring home my son just from somebody else, she would still.

Fall in love or its odds are stacking.

Has to be okay, Well, I think we're Do you think you have a kid somewhere?

Yeah?

I do, for sure, you do.

I do think that, yeah, absolutely, But you don't know.

You haven't had any contact, No, not yet.

But I've talked to the roommate about this, that you might have a kid out there.

Yeah, and if somebody comes, you know, years later and it's like you dear my dad, you know, we test them immediately, but it's how you know it's possible.

So likely.

Butting around in the Midwest somewhere.

Well, I told my entire family never to do twenty three and meters ever because they'll find me.

So they've agreed to do that.

Who's finding you my son's.

It would be funny if you just like six more daughters out there, that would.

Be that would be fucking perfect.

That that will teach you.

They all come knocking one day at the same time we're all getting married.

Pay for it.

Yeah, Yeah, it's only started for you dude, gonna get bad.

Yeah, it's gonna get real bad for you.

Yeah, real bad, real bad boys start showing up.

Oh that's already, dude.

That's like a thing like all our family friends that have boys around the same age, just like our elbits.

You know, they've played up, played their whole lives growing up.

And now it's like we're gonna go in the other room and watch a movie.

When the fuck you are.

That's the one thing where I'm like, oh, you want to bet I'm sitting down to this fucking couch to a movie.

You'll watch it.

Oh you ain't watching that ship that's inappropriate.

Nope, you're not watching that shit either.

Good luck.

Go back to the kids fucking option on Netflix and go watch Demon Hunters for the fiftieth time.

I don't give a fuck.

You ain't watching Billy Madison or some shit.

Hey that's Samdler, I know it is, but it's an appropriate for ten year old girl.

Fine, you guys going Silence of the Lambs again.

Schindler's List.

Not in house?

Yeah, nope, not on today, you know Tonament David?

Yeah, holy today.

Then you're an ally.

I'm an ally.

You're an axis I'm an ally, I'm one percent Jewish.

No you're not.

I am.

We did twenty three and me, you're a kidding, I'm one percent.

Where did that go from?

I have no idea.

I didn't ask any questions.

And then I'm one percent West African.

There we go.

That's not how it works.

So the way they do that DNA shit, it's like where people lived, Okay, but that's all I know is that means it was a colony in West Africa.

Doesn't mean you're black.

I know I'm not black, but I'm from there.

Dave Matthews isn't black.

And where's he from?

I don't know.

South Africa is son of apartheid?

I don't know, but he's know that.

No wonder he's so liberal South guilf.

South Africa.

That's guilt.

Yeah.

But now is he an African American?

No, he's not South African American.

Hey, but he's from Africa.

Sorry, there's a different connotation in America when you say African American.

But he is.

Yes, he's Rhodesian America.

Yeah, we call it Zibabwa, now do we?

Uh?

Okay, yeah, I'm from what is it?

Escanazi?

Yeah?

You want to be as those are the smart Okay, so I'm one percent that and I'm not zero no way.

The the iron Cross back that day.

Okay, that's it.

We've had enough fun.

Now it's time for naps.

Okay, all right, thanks for joining us.

For Marvin who has to listen to this every single week for Big Day, Ray for Bad Larry, for Dylan and Shayan Irving.

I'm Dan Patrick.

Good luck this weekend.

We'll talk to you next week.

H