welcome to Music game master Monday the podcast that plays a new one shot in a new system with a new cast every episode.

I'm your Dean Grant and today we are playing Model Our Nations by Eric Silver and my players are.

So I'm Grace she and they pronouns, and I'll be playing Cardinale Lestrassi who uses any pronouns.

That was really beautiful.

Hi I'm Kim Sheer Pronouns and I'm playing Cardinal Jean which will be using them pronouns.

Howdy I'm Meadow she they pronouns and I will be playing Cardinal Matelli who uses she they pronouns as well.

Hello I'm Navarre I use he hymn pronouns and I will be playing Cardinal Matthew Damon Matthew spelled French and demon like demon who also uses he and pronounce.

Welcome to Model Our nation's everybody.

This is a diceless game, all about arguing, compromise and politicking.

Our players today have come to a meeting of the minds in order to settle something of great international import.

And this game will not end until it's settled.

But we'll be doing a special homebrewed setting for our one shot this week.

For as you may have guessed by our player intros, we are here to determine who should be the Pope.

That's right, we're doing Modeler Nations as if it were a conclave.

Our Cardinals will be able to submit motions, which we are interpreting as a major decision that must be approved in our game.

This will be a major change to the Catholic Church.

Motions must pass a majority vote in order to be ratified.

The Cardinals will argue out each motion and seek support by any means necessary.

All the while, you'll secretly be earning points by achieving secret goals.

Whichever Cardinal winds up at the most points at the end of the game will become Pope.

I'll be serving as facilitator, referee and scorekeeper.

Kind of playing a character but not playing the game, if you will.

You all may refer to me as Dean Winchester.

All right.

No, OK.

Pack that one up.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I am an award nominated Game Master.

With all of that out of the way, are you all excited?

Yeah.

Absolutely.

Then, like we were until about two seconds ago.

OK, here we go.

The scene, the Vatican, the setting, A conclave.

A smattering of Cardinals have entered due to the recent passing of the Pope.

Which the Pope?

The Pope?

It doesn't matter.

This is a game outside of time and logic.

Shut up as we see the Cardinals enter, all of them heavy with thought, some of them considering.

What direction will the church now go?

Will we honor the old ways or pursue new ones?

Will we continue to seek progress, or will we revert back to our previous ways?

Will I be the one who has chosen to lead us to that point?

And I dare say the four front runners for that position are arriving at the Vatican now.

Grace, tell me about Cardinal Lasrasi.

Cardinal is wearing the most resplendent red robes you can possibly imagine.

We are talking the full ostentatiousness of the Catholic Church on display, a little crushed red velvet zucchetto.

That's the little fancy hat that they wear.

You know, we're just, we're all out.

We're going all out.

It's probably a little too much.

But instead of, you know, Gaudi, we're going to go with camp.

And that is how we that's how we're presenting today.

You enter the the the Cardinals quarters as you were, and you were greeted by Dean Winchester, who is an older gentleman, beginning to bald, robes a little disheveled.

But if there's one thing you can say about him that he's organized and that he shakes your hand as his Cardinal welcome.

We are expecting you.

I I hear rumors that you may be in the running for the papacy.

How are you feeling?

Oh.

Grazie, grazie.

I'm feeling, I'm feeling all right, I think.

I think it's a coffee break soon.

Cigarette.

We smoke.

Inside the time to get those breaks, it'd certainly be now Cardenal because once we close the doors, no one can get out of.

Course, of course, of course.

I look forward to seeing everyone again and return to tradition, so important these days.

As they always are in all days I would say.

Well said Dean.

You enter the conclave and we we pan out on those audacious Marvel steps and we see Kim's character.

Tell me about Cardinal Gin.

Cardinal Gin, you see, is very much not as gaudy as as Lestrasi very much walks in a more casual ish demeanor, definitely a little bit more like AI don't entirely would say joy on their face, but it's more just like we're here and we're going to do this now.

You can see like their robes and stuff are very like well taken care of.

They're not too, nothing too crazy, very simple, very just kept to themselves and they just kind of walk in and then they're like, ah, we are here.

You are here.

You're greeted by Dean Winchester of course, who shakes your hand, gives you a balances.

Cardinal Jean, an honor to have you.

I hope your travels were not too cumbersome or or bad for you.

No, it was, it was a perfectly normal travel.

So I think that means good omens for today.

We could certainly use Good Omens and hopefully we can make this a quick and efficient conclave.

I've heard rumors that you may be considering going for the papacy, so your name is on lips for sure.

We'll see what's ends up happening for sure.

Who knows?

I think only one person knows Cardinal, and hopefully they can tell us in the next couple of days.

I mean God Cardinal.

Oh, yes, yes, yes.

I thought you're talking about yourself.

And I was like, I don't know how you know.

That, Oh no, I could not dare to interpret the will.

Perhaps get yourself some water and get settled.

I will.

I will.

Excellent.

Excellent.

We return to perhaps a train, perhaps a plane, something pulling up.

We see your character, Meadow.

Tell me about Cardinal Matelli.

Before you see Cardinal Matelli, you hear the clopping of horse football as there is an echoing of that sound.

And it stops outside those big doors, clearly not all the way up those marble steps.

And you see a truly giant woman walking in.

The cardinal robes are kind of just like a suggestion.

They're kind of like a Cape that's drawn over flannel and a button down and a huge belt buckle and denim jeans and really high cowboy boots.

And on her hip, on each hip there is holsters.

And inside the one on the right is the Bible, and the one on the left is holy water.

And she takes off her cowboy hat and kind of fans herself off.

She's sweating, obviously, and walks up to Dean Winchester, eyeing all of the not gaudy godly architecture, and is judging visibly.

Pleasure to see you as always Cardinal.

I've always appreciated your take on the traditional clothings and traditions of the Church.

Is something bothering you?

Dane, your greed disgusts me, but the Lord does forgive.

My greed.

Whatever could you mean?

Oh, I'm sorry, I misspoke.

I meant it's nice to see you as well.

As I said, always a pleasure and always interpret your unique perspectives within the church.

I believe it's that very demeanor of yours, that perspective that has caused your name to appear on some tongues in regarding the papacy.

Thoughts on the matter?

Well, let's pray that the Lord's will be done, and soon, so I can get back home to my ranch.

As in all things, we are in agreement here.

I too am hoping for a speedy and effective conclave.

I believe the other Cardinals are waiting for you all.

Right, Hubert's out front.

You get him in a stable, won't you?

Oh yes, we'll have the sisters arrange that for you.

Not a problem.

Put the hat back on where you can see it is covering the little cardinal hat and just puts the cowboy hat back on top of it.

We see a final Cardinal arrive.

Navarre, tell me about Cardinal Damon.

You see a big Ford F-350 truck pull up to that it is clearly rented.

Clearly so expensive because this is Italy and they have no reason to have Ford F3 fifties foreign cars in Italy.

The truck pulls up and finds parking because I am a Bishop after all.

You see a character who is about 5 foot 8 black man.

He's got a short Afro and he begins to step out of the truck and then he stops and closes the door and says Lord be with me and takes off his cowboy hat, sets it down underneath he has the cardinal hack.

He slips off his cowboy boots, puts on slippers, modest Bishop slippers, and digs out his robes from from the side of the truck.

He steps out, he's got jeans on and he has, you know, one of those denim Western shirts, slides the Bishop, ropes over it and locks over to the entrance.

Cardinal Damon, You approach the Vatican steps and you are greeted by Dean Winchester, who knows that when greeting Cardinal Damon, you give him the hardest handshake you can.

Yeah, and he he grips back and smiles.

And when he smile, this is a Dean Winchester.

It's a nice to see you.

Always a.

Pleasure hot day, hot day out here in Italy.

Yes, I, you know, bless the the the Pope in his infinite wisdom, though I do wish he could have passed in the cooler autumn weather instead of the punishing Italian summers.

And yet here we are.

You know God's plan.

You know, as they say.

Knows more than us.

As we say, and it'll make such a.

We are the they, it would seem.

Now, Cardinal, I don't know if you've heard the rumors, but more than a few of the fellow Cardinals and bishops have told me that your name has been coming up as a potential papal candidate.

Oh, I mean, you know, rumors don't make it that far out like that, but I can't say I would.

I don't have ideas.

And certainly I'm always going to be a man for the church.

So you know whatever God wills will be done and and not support.

Better time than now to propose those ideas, I suppose.

We'll be starting shortly, so I'll escort you to whether the Cardinals are.

Yeah, you got any of that holy whiskey inside?

Oh, now you know I can't provide that.

I know.

I'll go.

I'll go find the mine.

It's fine.

OK, well I can't provide that either except in specific circumstances, but who am I to stop a cardinal?

You see, you see the cardinal do the the sign of the cross.

We're gonna get some holy wine in here.

That brings us to the conclave quarters.

You see 2 bishops, you know, young 50s, close the doors, shut all the people outside cheering here, the clanking of wood and locks and the blackout curtains come down so that no media can spy through the windows, and you all take your orderly seats in the Chapel.

This is the time where Cardinals have an opportunity to propose and debate ideas.

Then these ideas can make or break your potential candidacy to be the Pope.

So we're going to open up the Diamond Knot.

You will each have two opportunities to propose a motion.

The more motions you get past, the more points you will earn.

But keep in mind those secret goals you have both for yourself and for your respective ideals of the Church.

Achieving those will also earn you points.

And at the end of everything, we will of course have a moment where we will vote on superlatives.

And earning superlatives can gain you points as well.

So enjoy the political theater of the Catholic Church.

Dean Winchester stands in front of everyone and says we will now open the floor for friendly conversational ideas.

Those who are looking to move the church in a new direction, those who are looking to endorse a candidate for papacy, this is your opportunity to speak now before God and your fellow Cardinals.

So I'm going to, as your facilitator, open this to whoever would like to go 1st, and then we'll go in alphabetical order from that person.

Cardinal Zine, you have the floor.

They sort of like dust off their robes a little bit before they stand up and they're like Cardinals.

I know we're gathered here today to vote on some new and important changes and well, I have one that is near and dear to my heart, and that is I believe that there should be no more Roman numerals in our names.

You see, Roman numerals implies a before and you're the after.

And I believe under the Church we should all be seen as equals.

Therefore the numbers so that off.

And also I don't want to remember each time what number it is when I just see an X and an I and AV to be frank with you.

Right, Cardinals, the proposal is on the table.

No more Roman numerals in the church for artificial titles.

As the other Cardinals here, you now have the opportunity to ask questions, show support, show dissent, push back whatever you feel is right for your objectives with this motion.

Once everyone said their piece, we'll vote on it.

Now, Cardinal, I got a question for you.

If we drop Roman numerals on names, do you think we can get also?

See, where I'm from, we obviously Sunday is the holiest of days.

We got church, we got God, we got football.

Oh yeah, the Super Bowl still uses Roman numerals.

That's true.

And I just feel like if we could get away from maybe the church using Roman numerals, we could also probably get away from football using Roman numerals.

That's it's a, it's an archaic thing, you know, I, I.

Agree.

That's that's my thought.

So my question is, do you think we?

Do it.

Yeah, that's my thought, Cowboy.

Matt Damon.

I think that if we get away from it in the church that possibly football may follow suit.

No, you're right.

How did you know my nickname?

Cardinal Jane?

That's incredible.

Question for you.

How do you propose we keep track of which John we're talking about?

Which John Paul which?

You know, there's so many names, they are the same but also different.

Do you think they should all become one person?

That's an interesting proposal.

I think that'd be interesting if they eventually became one person.

If you choose the name, and you have the knowledge that that name had already existed, then you.

Then you assume choose the name responsibility for all the war crimes they committed, that kind of thing.

Exactly, Exactly because you have that knowledge prior to choosing the name.

Again, it's that thing that you have coming into it.

I think that's a beautiful way to honor the tradition, I must say.

I as as much as I do appreciate not being framed for war crimes any longer, I would like to propose instead of using letters to represent numbers, we use numbers to represent letters in the form of Bible verses at the end of names instead.

316 different.

You know if your name is John.

It could be 12/8 of course, as we all know it keeps it religious and takes the guesswork out of XS IS and VS.

You know what cowboy?

I'm telling you, I think that's AI think that's a fantastic point.

Then I would like to propose an amendment to my proposition in adding Bible verses instead of instead of Roman numerals to keep.

To keep that consistency, but also it it matters to the church.

OK, whatever you need to do to help your motions pass, I suppose, which we will now be voting on.

All those in favor of ratifying, removing Roman numerals from the Catholic Church, and replacing said Roman numerals with regular numerals to resemble Bible verses, please say I vocally.

My man, I mean I.

I I.

So the eyes have it, whoever is Pope will be moving forward with ratifying a lack of Roman numerals.

From Cardinal Zine we then move forward in the alphabetical order.

Cardinal Matelli, what is your first motion you have to propose to the conclave?

You know the shiny gold leaf edge on the Bible's.

I want to get rid of that.

Thank you, that's my time.

And stands remove the gold Leafs from the Bible pages.

You've said your piece, it would seem, so we'll open the floor to questions and rebuttals.

What do you want to do with it?

I've made a plan to distribute it to the poor and to charitable forces, as we should be doing with wealthy Accumulate nonsensically.

That that is a good point.

So I do have a question.

I mean, obviously this is, you know, getting thrown into the face of of tradition and all of those former monks who did illumination on these Bibles to make them what they are and all that filigree.

I mean, my question to you is, does God not deserve to have golden Bibles?

I'm not sure if you're aware, but there are Bibles and God don't have any.

Like they're the ones that we have here is the ones I want to take the gold off the edge of and take those out of circulation.

So it would be like God could have whatever kind of Bibles he wants, but if like our Bibles should just be books.

Yeah, yeah.

But I mean, if God is in all of us and in everything, are those Bibles not also his Bibles?

Oh, right, I see what you're saying.

Right?

No, they're not.

All right, well, I am thoroughly confused, so I'm just going to let that go.

I appreciate your time and curiosity.

Cowboy Matelli, I have a question.

I wanted to see if you have considered replacing it with another type of material.

I'm open to suggestions as always.

What do you mean like lambskin?

What do you mean?

Like blood of a first born of a cow?

I'm not sure where those ideas came from.

Oh, directly from the Bible.

Oh, OK.

OK, all my ideas come directly from the Bible.

I actually have was told as a compliment that I have never had an original thought and Jesus speaks through me so.

Beautiful, I really do.

That is actually the greatest of compliments.

It's why I wear the clothes that.

Is a massive.

Yeah.

And the hat.

A little peek, a little raise.

I'm gonna, I'm gonna piggyback on the, on the back of what Cardinal Jane just said.

I, I do wonder if maybe not change the material, but if we could, if we take the gold out, that's fine.

I think we take that gold out.

You know, people are poor.

They can use that to, you know, get back to the church.

I think that that's great.

So if we do that, what if we put little pictures of dogs, a different dog for each of the books of the.

Like a cattle dog and a sheepdog books.

Like could I have one of each of my 17 dogs on there?

Absolutely.

I would like to make an amendment.

I would like to make an amendment.

An amendment has been proposed to add little dogs on the side of the Bibles.

Now I have a question, where where in the Bibles are they going to be?

Are they going to be on the spine?

Are they going to be on like both?

The front on the page, like you know how people can paint them on the side like an entire, I'm thinking like a nice landscape, a biblical landscape, but dogs.

But dogs?

Like Last Supper, but dogs on the side.

It's.

Beautiful.

It's classy.

It's.

Time playing a poker, It's beautiful.

Yes, we could employ so many artists.

Think of how good it would be.

OK, Bella.

I mean all the children that need to get indoctrinated early.

We indoctrinated.

Indoctrinated.

Oh my God, I think we just became best friends You.

Have this thing a Paw Patrol?

Yes, you could make a Paw Patroller Bible.

Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah, Revelations could be a German Shepherd.

Is correct.

Yeah, we all know why.

See.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You could put that at the bottom and then teach kids, you know, you don't have to learn the name of of each of these.

You could just, you know, go to the dog.

Just, hey, we're on Cana Corso today.

That's that's our chapter Cana Corso 316 and it's full circle.

Full circle.

Well, I think we've all arrived at a godly and doggly conclusion.

I guess we'll see who is truly on your side or not here, Cardinal.

No one should ratify.

This, and yet all those in favor of removing the gold filaments from the Bible and replacing them with pictures of dogs, please say aye aye, the eyes do in.

Fact have it.

You mean to tell me we can only ratify one more you?

Got to be very choosy this.

Is the most efficient.

We're all so agreeable.

It's.

Really unfortunate.

We we, no wonder everybody wants us to be popes because we're so, so great.

Cardinal Damon, the floor is yours.

What motion do you bring before the body?

Well, as you all know, we're standing here in the Vatican and beautiful, gorgeous place.

Absolutely.

I do often wonder, as an American citizen, if the Vatican might be just.

I don't know if too far is the right word, but maybe just not the best place for the center of our religion.

Now we all know Mormons.

They made decisions OK, but maybe they were almost on to something, right?

Utah.

We know Utah is not Zion.

We all know this.

We're Catholic.

However, maybe we bring the Vatican to the United States.

Now bear with me, Italy it's a pretty small country.

Lord knows there are multiple states in the United States that are bigger than the country of Italy.

The population of Italy isn't even all Catholic.

Surprisingly a lot of the Catholics are in South America.

Now that's colonization.

We can't do nothing about that now.

But seeing as English is probably, I didn't look it up, but probably the most spoken language across the world, wouldn't it be better to have all these Catholics come to America where they could see the Vatican and all its glory?

We'll really, we'll rebuild it.

This one will still be here.

It's like a museum.

We know Italy loves museums.

People come, they can get to see it.

They can get to sit down where the Pope sat down.

They can ride around in a little car.

We can do events.

But the real center of Catholic power will be in Dallas, TX.

I'll leave it to y'all.

What y'all think?

What do y'all think?

Indeed, we will open the floor.

The proposal is move the Vatican to Dallas, TX.

Yes, I see you, Cardless Rossi.

You may go first.

I I really cannot begin to state no absolutely not that I ugliest place in the world.

It's so ugly I'm forgetting how to sound Italian.

You understand how distressing this is?

OK.

I mean, Dallas was just my first choice.

It can be somewhere else.

Do you have a preference?

Where it is now, I like where the Vatican is now.

Vatican City.

There's like a whole thing already established and also the most spoken language in the world.

It is not English, it is Mandarin Chinese.

My goodness.

I mean, you showed me those facts and I believe them, but I think that if we could just think about when Jesus came to earth, did he not change the way things were?

Isn't that what not what we have the opportunity to do right now and move the Vatican?

Surely there's enough money to build a new Vatican in Dallas, TX.

Cardinal Telly, please, you sound like you should be on my side and I don't want to stereotype at all, but I feel a kinship between us, right?

And that's probably because we are all the Lord's children.

You're so right.

I have a question for you.

What is your personal experience with the sport of football?

Well, when I was a child, my dog and I, we played football every Sunday in order for Texas, you, you pick it up pretty quick.

I was 4 I mean.

Are you telling me you had an air bud situation with a doll?

I did have an air bud situation.

I'm actually the reason they made that movie Air.

But I don't like to talk about it because I'm humble.

But that's where it came from.

But yeah, I, I played football for most of my life until I broke my knee and then no more got me.

But you know, God's plan brought me into the church.

Here I am having this conversation with you.

Jesus speaks through.

And and why?

Why Dallas?

I mean, there's a lot of reasons, right?

You know, where the church, we don't got to pay no taxes, but also our employees don't have to pay no state taxes.

We it's a big enough state to house it.

They got really good building infrastructure in Dallas.

They figured out a way to do all this construction all the time without interfering with what people got going on every day.

So I mean, like I said, it's my first choice.

I'm open to others.

It doesn't have to be Dallas.

I just think logistically, if we're talking about the expenses of taking on something so massive as moving the Vatican or really replicating the Vatican to make it the new center of Catholicism in the Big D, it's got to be Dallas, TX.

And I do hear you also know.

OK, this is not going as planned.

I mean, I'm open to suggestions.

If it's got to be a different way, it's got to be a different way.

Moving the Vatican just feels like making Jesus's crib a trailer home.

Maybe.

Maybe the Manger shouldn't be an RV.

Maybe it should stay where it's at.

I mean, it didn't stay where it's at though.

There's a whole situation going on where Jesus's Angel is right now, Free Palestine, right?

So like, I think that we probably got to figure out a way to, to find.

OK, here's the thing.

When it comes down to it, let me just let me be real with y'all.

I do have an ulterior motive.

Jesus is not Italian.

And it just seems crazy to me that we have the seat of our religion in Italy and are.

You saying that Jesus is text?

I'm saying here.

Whoa.

OK, not texting necessarily.

What I am saying is that the United States is largely known as the melting pot.

Jesus's people are all around in a mix of melting into that pot in Dallas, TX and also the rest of the United States.

I think that it would just be better for people, multicultural people, to be able to reach this incredible foundation of power.

Not really.

I'm stuck.

You mentioned the Mormons earlier and I, I feel like I've got to say like, is this part of a like we're beefing with the Mormons?

We've got to really show them, you know, they've got their American seat of power, so.

Do they they have?

More money than us right now.

I'm not going to lie, you guys, it's dire, OK?

Listen, you know, we're we're all God's people.

And some people have been misled.

But do you not think that if we could bring in more of God's people to the correct path of the Catholic Church by way of proximity and awe, show them the awesome godliness of this beautiful palace?

Of Dallas.

Dallas and Palace rhyme.

You just said it right after I said it.

OK, Cardinals, I'm going to move us along here.

We have many motions.

Welcome back to us here.

It's a it's a long conclave, so let's make a vote here.

All in favour of moving the Vatican to Dallas, TX in the United States.

Please say aye.

All opposed say.

Nay, nay.

Resounding nay from the other Cardinal, so this motion will not be ratified, which will then bring us over to the motion to be submitted by Cardinal Lestrasi.

The floor is yours.

Fratelli Sorelli, let me say here our our previous process for canonizing people making Saints so involved, so long take centuries.

They must be dead.

Ridiculous.

Our church is suffering.

We need the way to revitalize.

So I humbly suggest that we canonize living people, starting with celebrities.

We just make them.

We make them Saints.

The motion is proposed we change the nature of canonization for sainthood to include living people, specifically starting with celebrities.

So Cardinal Pastrami, I have a question.

Is there any certain guidelines you're thinking for these celebrities being named?

I mean the you.

Have anyone in mind?

Of of course I do.

But of course we begin with in the early days of our most beautiful church, Saints were were popular.

They were submitted by the vox populi, the voice of the people, our body of the church.

And now there is this whole archaic process.

It's ridiculous.

We should return to popular vote.

So names are submitted to our conclave.

We vote yes.

No, it's a simple majority.

St.

No.

St.

Very simple.

Cardinal Peschami, I'm going to piggyback off what Cardinal Jing said.

Do you What about celebrities that are Scientologists?

A lot of them are, a lot of them are secret Scientologists.

And I just want to know what is your screening process for keeping those people out of saying?

You know, I, I think it's truly important to have forgiveness in your heart.

It's not their fault they've been conned by a cult.

Who among us, right?

I don't think we should necessarily seek to prevent.

We can help sort of a holy duking it out of you know who is more powerful in the end, I think.

We win.

Do.

We have like a God's champion situation.

Exactly.

Exactly.

And think how exciting.

Oh my gosh.

Mass interest.

What more could we ask for?

I just before I say more, I just want to ensure I'm hearing you.

You want to make the sainthood process Celebrity Hunger Games.

I'm going to be so real with you.

That is so much further than I was initially thinking of taking it, and I think that's beautiful.

Look at this gorgeous collaborative process we engage in together.

You see what happens?

Stricken from the record, Your Honor, That's not me adding into that at all.

I think you said Holy Duke in it out.

Oh, in the terms of someone is a secret Scientologist, I mean, we are not perfect, right?

We are only vessels of God's will here on earth.

So if we make a little oopsie every now and then.

And oopsie.

And who is a St.

and?

Who is might be a secret Scientologist.

I mean, obviously we won't be like, oh sure, Tom Cruise can, you know, be ASAP.

We know a little better.

But the secret ones, you know.

I got a quick question for you.

You mentioned vessels and I'm just curious if you've listened to Sleep Token and you have to be honest because that's my move.

Ah yes, Cardinal Damon using his his guileless move where he may ask an honest question to anyone and get an honest answer, but that person may also ask an honest question of you Cardinal Damon.

OK, well, Cardinal Cowboy demon, no.

And what's up with wanting to move the Vatican to Dallas?

Huh.

I just think it would be the best place to have.

The.

Center of our Catholic Church and all of its holiness.

I bring up Sleep Token because their lead singer's name is Vessel and they do seem to have some sort of following and I do wonder if people might take this opportunity that you're presenting to make Vessel a St.

I think what we should hope this encourages is that for people to live miraculous and holy lives still, we should seek, you know, we should hope they're seeking to do good.

They compete for this, the Nobel, a Peace Prize, whatever that means.

Why not?

Why not also compete for sainthood?

There are so many reasons listed in the holy text of why that's a bad idea, I think.

I think we should we should still we should want miracles.

We should want the, the, the the farmer Sancti Tatis, the the fame of sanctity.

We want good actions.

But also, you know, you could Google them you.

You want Googleable Saints?

OK, All right.

I have no further questions and I appreciate your fervor and innovation in these trying times.

With that compliment, we will go to the vote.

All in favor of changing the process of canonization to include living celebrities.

Please say yay.

Yay.

Like a damn birthday party.

All all opposed.

Vote nay nay.

Nay.

Motion does not pass.

So we're about halfway through our motions now to have been accepted.

The the the cardinal body seems to have gotten a little bit more picky as they've gone along, but we're going to loop back around now.

It'll be our second round of motions to submit.

This will be the final round of motions we're going to submit here for our game.

You may choose to propose the same 1 you did before with a new argument.

You can tweak that previous motion if you wish, or you can abandon it all together and propose something else.

And as we did before, we will start again with Cardinal Jean.

Cardinals, we've had some interesting conversation here, and I would like to propose something that I've been seeing a little more often.

Some of you in this room may agree or disagree.

I'm proposing DIY hats.

Cardinal D, Can you elaborate further?

Please well.

Well, you see, as yourself, as Cowboy Matelli, also you're wearing your cowboy hats, right?

But we are also required to wear these little hats.

And I feel as if if we're moving in the direction of a little bit more self-expression, that we should acknowledge that further in the church.

And if we are dropping the Roman numerals and replacing it with Bible verses, that way we can also have a little bit of that distinction as well.

So that is, that is my proposal there.

Can I get a more visual understanding of your concept Cardinal gene?

Do you mean as in like graduation cap style?

Like bedazzles and memes on the back where we all hang out and paint and bedazzle our little hats together.

Yeah, community building.

I vote yes.

I do wonder, as a person who is not as crafty as some others may be, I do wonder if maybe what we do instead is standardize a certain iconography that we can attach to whatever kind of hat we want to wear, right?

If I want to wear like a fitted hat and I can just put that iconography on it, you know what I mean?

Like like a fitted baseball cap.

And I want to put that I can argue so people know he looks fine, but he's also a Bishop, right?

Like, is that something that we could do instead of me having to go out and be like, well, I got to wear this thing that the church gave me or I got to learn how to sew.

Now I got a lot of time for the Lord.

I ain't got a lot of time for someone.

So I just wonder how much of this is going to be on us as individuals versus just getting maybe like a like a strip of of cloth or something that we can place over I.

Do like the idea of a patch.

Yes, having a good either patch or or ribbon or something we could put on.

Just a little hat sash from a cowboy hat.

That sounds stylish.

That sounds stylish.

I would like to add my amendment that there should be something standardized and we could figure that out together.

And so the motion is proposed.

All those in favor of introducing Do it Yourself hats to the governing body of the Church, please say aye.

Aye.

And what with the amendment that?

Yeah.

With the amendment that we don't have to actually do it ourselves, yeah.

Right, it's just someone does our hats for us hats.

Individualized flair.

I.

And I do believe the eyes have it.

Let us move on with the motions.

Cardinal Matelli, your second motion, please.

Never made it this far before, so hold on.

I wrote a list somewhere.

And she pulls out like a crumpled piece of paper and kind of smooths it out.

And she's about to read out like whatever motion she came up on the ride over here, and the doors to the conclave burst open, and this little kid on a tiny pony comes like clopping in.

He's my footman.

It's not my big horse.

My big horse Huberts in the stable.

This is my little guy Huey on his pony horse coming in to deliver a note to me, and he like clip clops all the way through.

This kid is steely, like precocious, wise beyond his ears and his matching eyes with every cardinal in the room, clops up to me, hands me a envelope, and then tips his hat to me.

I tip my hat to him and he slowly clip clops out, but in my head it's backwards, like dressage horse backwards clip clopping out.

And I open that up, read it like a tensing of the jaw.

And then I look at the crumpled piece of paper I was going to read, which says change all the Angel depictions to biblically accurate versions and I'll just crumple it up and throw it over my shoulder and I'll say I feel.

I'm forced.

To make this motion out of good faith and I.

Mean that in more ways than.

One I have in my hands.

Devastating breaking news this is.

The will of our.

Last Pope, So I move that Cardinal Gene should indeed be the next Pope using the footman.

Ability that the good Cardinal has.

Cardinal Matelli has proposed that Cardinal Gene should be Pope regardless of what happens here today.

The floor is yours, Cardinals.

Cowboy Matelli.

Is there anything on there that explains why I put down the?

The will in front of everybody.

I don't want it to seem like I just, like, have empty papers, so I put it down so everyone can examine it.

I'm sure they give us cute little magnifying glasses and I say your guess is as good as mine, but the words are clear.

From Pope to Pope.

Your name.

Is on the to.

Pope.

It's not like it can be bequeathed.

But if this is the final wishes, it's something to be considered.

Certainly not legally in God's eyes binding, but enough for me.

Cardinal Jing.

I think it's the.

Perfect time to ask you do you?

Do you want to be the Pope?

Gasp.

Not, not.

Not not as setting this forward as a motion, but I just want to ask you personally, honestly, I was like, are you using your honest?

Thing.

Oh, Navarre.

I will say.

Honestly.

I haven't thought about it.

I came here to support my fellow candidates and I I'm unsure why my name is the one that is being requested.

My honest question to you is do.

You want to be the Pope?

I mean only in so much as.

It would allow me to move forward with the Catholic Church in the way that I feel God's vision moves through me in Dallas, TX.

I mean.

I got it OK let.

Me just can I just propose my next idea?

Perhaps now might be a good time for me to at least give you an alternative option.

OK.

I propose since.

Since y'all adamantly did not want to move the Vatican to Dallas, I understand.

I propose that we make a replica holy site in Los Angeles, CA.

Now Dallas.

I know I understand the reasons why you want didn't want to do it.

It's not as economical to move to California.

However, people like going to Los Angeles, CA.

We might be able to get some of those celebrities.

Cardinal Petrami.

Was talking about to bring in.

To to get them convinced and move to this church out of Scientology, imagine the beautiful coastal city with a giant golden replica Vatican anointed by Cardinals like ourselves and the new Pope, whoever that may be.

Another place for people to go.

To experience God's love and.

Power and golden wealth.

I didn't make the rules of the church.

I'm just here, but if I became the Pope, maybe we could talk about how we actually filigree some of that building.

My question is where in Los?

Angeles, Whatever would be.

The most structurally sound in the case of an earthquake, I'm not a.

Geologist.

I couldn't tell you what would be the best place for it, but I think, you know, I mean, you know how people say like, oh, I live in LA and, and it's actually like, not LA, It's a different city, right?

I think we could do something similar where it's like come visit the Vatican in LA and it's like a sub LA adjacent.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Or how the San Francisco.

49ers are actually playing in Santa Clara.

Or how the New York Giants and the New York Jets all play in New Jersey.

Wild behavior.

I could go on but.

You get my point.

Can you at least give us one more example?

The Dallas Cowboys.

Play in Arlington, which is not Dallas.

It's a separate city that's a sub.

Why would they call themselves that?

What this?

Width of the Vatican.

Copy Los Angeles, maybe.

No, not a worse city than Dallas, but people want to go to Los Angeles.

No, they don't, unless they have to.

But if they had to for God.

God is everywhere.

Why?

Why Los Angeles and yet OK?

You say God is everywhere, and yet here we sit in the Vatican in Italy, a European country shaped like a boot.

I just, all I'm saying is that this might be arbitrary where we are right now.

And so maybe we can make another decision to make it less arbitrary because we're giving people a new place to go.

Italy is not the place that Jesus grew up.

So I don't even know why we're here right now.

Well, we've had.

Two proposals brought to the conclave here, so I suppose we'll just have to vote on them both.

All those in favor first and foremost of in stating Cardinal Jean as the Pope.

Vote aye aye.

Those opposed vote aye.

2 for aye.

Is that like a tabling?

What does?

What does that mean?

Come back to it later.

Yeah, we.

Could do.

Worse, you know, is that like an air?

Like a hesitant I.

Cardinal or you?

Know what is that?

What is the car?

I feel like if Cardinal Sheen doesn't vote, you know, for themselves, then I can't in good faith, even if it is what the Holy Father, you know, wanted election your.

Vote nay.

A Nay.

From Zeen.

That nay for you, then it's a nay.

Now, of course, this will.

Trigger Cardinal Lestrasi's special move, which is all tiebreakers go the way they would like, so in the event of a tie, Cardinal Lestrasi breaks it.

Love that classic.

Classic.

That's good.

Cardinal Lasagna coming in with a.

Save, you know, all of these all.

Of these little.

Nicknames.

They feel like you.

Know anti Italian hatred and I'm really not here for it.

Well Speaking of being anti Italian.

All those in favour of building a replica Vatican in Los Angeles, CA, please vote aye aye aye.

Aye, that's three ayes.

From me that's not.

Three people saying that just I understand.

Thank you.

All those opposed.

Please vote nay, nay, nay nay.

The Vatican will not.

See Cardinal Lestrasi.

Our final emotion, if you would be so kind, listen.

Perhaps I was.

Too far.

Reaching in my first proposal, opening up the wide range of canonization to all potentially living celebrities.

Dangerous territory.

I'll I'll give you all that one.

So instead I say we canonize Beyoncé and make her a St.

That's it.

The motion proposed.

Canonize Beyoncé into sainthood.

The floor is open for follow up.

I have.

No questions.

Again, I respect her innovation with this idea.

I cannot again, in good faith, canonize A billionaire before I eat it.

But if we if we can.

Canonize her into the church, then we have a stronger argument for appropriating and redistributing her wealth.

Billionaires.

Cannot be reasoned with, but.

I appreciate your time.

Got some woke popes in this time.

Wow, I feel.

Real conflicted as a person who did go to two different concerts in the Cowboy Carter tour.

So I just wonder, I don't know, I might be, I might be with Cardinal Matelli on this a little bit.

I think I like, I like where you're going.

I like the I like, I like the adjustment to the plan.

But I do think we we're still running into some some dangerous territory here.

I don't even think Beyoncé is Catholic.

She's not, but the Catholic.

Church has historically canonized non Catholic people into sainthood so we don't even have to change that much.

She I would like to make an amendment.

She has performed.

That we stop canonizing people.

Who ain't Catholic?

She has performed miracles.

And yeah, name a good Catholic celebrity.

I'm listening.

Oh, I don't follow any of them.

I'm sorry.

I'm saying she did a great.

Thing with a stained.

Glass window.

She sang a beautiful audio.

Come on.

I mean, you really gotta you just you girls got Pat and you.

And you did choose one from Texas.

That's if you're going to get another Cardinal on your side.

Grabbing a Texan celebrity trying to compromise here.

You know, like, come on.

Yeah, I respect it.

She has a song.

Called Church girl No.

I.

Really don't think about the lyrics but you know if it was called.

Mass girl we might be.

Talking about this thing.

Incoherent Italian.

Sounds Italian.

Mumbling, yeah.

Oh my.

My fellow.

Cowboys.

Here have brought up very good points all those in.

Favor of canonizing.

Beyoncé with an amendment that going forward no more canonizing.

Any non Catholics please vote aye aye.

Come.

On aye.

Aye.

A second.

Aye, for.

The canonizing of Beyoncé.

Those opposed vote nay nay.

It is a tie.

Which means Cardinal Lesrassi, due to your ability, all ties go in your favor.

So the motion passes.

The Catholic Church will canonize Beyoncé billionaire.

Non Catholic the.

Saint or what?

Your grief sickens me of.

Whatever she wants.

You know, truly, truly.

The queen of bees, and that's two hands.

To heaven.

Amen.

I've.

Already seen her on those candles.

I know what's happening here.

Cardinals, the time has.

Come, we will of course be announcing who the Pope is in a brief moment.

But first, we have some superlatives to give out.

This is something you will all vote on and nominate people for, and earning A superlative can earn you further points.

So first and foremost, we're going to ask the question, who is the smartest Cardinal?

Damon, who is the smartest Cardinal here?

I think that it's probably, it's probably got to be Cardinal Matelli, the only one of us that has reason at all in the brain.

Cardinal Matelli, I think it.

Is I'm going to go with the person I voted with the most, and that's going to be Cardinal Gin.

Cardinal Gin your vote.

My vote is Cowboy Matelli.

No, please no.

Well, with those resounding.

Nose from Cardinal Matelli Cartel Lestrasi, Who are you voting for?

For the smartest cardinal I have to go with the.

The large cowboy Matelli.

Meadow devastated right now.

For being voted.

For as the smartest person in the room.

They'll bring.

Us to our our next.

Superlative who is the least capable but still has the job?

Cardinal Lestrasi, your vote please.

The least capable, but still has.

The job Is it too late to vote for the Dean?

That hurt my feelings.

I thought we were.

Friends, after all those ties I broke for you.

So true, bestie.

You know what?

I'm going to vote for the the Cowboy Lady again.

Smartest and least capable.

Why not?

Doesn't seem super.

Into being a.

Cardinal, which is fine, yeah.

That's true.

I.

Feel like I'm the most into it.

Actually.

You're into it in the correct way, like.

You feel spiritually moved, but you do not care about tradition or sanctity.

That's the kind of Pope I can get behind.

Yeah.

Hey.

I think I have to cast my vote for Cardinal Pastrami.

I am going.

To.

Go Cardinal Damon because of the Vatican moving project that I feel like has like an entire cork board with red string all over it and like how to move the Vatican.

Well, Cardinal Damon.

There's a three-way tie right now.

I'm going to go.

With Cardinal Lestrassi.

Congratulations, Cardinal Lestrassi.

You'll pick up a point for being the least capable Cardinal.

I got the job because I'm.

Italian.

The final question.

Who was your character closest to leave?

You know, I felt a special connection to the.

Big cowboy lady, I voted for cowboy Matelli over.

Cardinal.

Matelli, Cardinal Matelli.

I, I feel like it's going to hurt me to say this because I would love to say Cardinal G, but it's the other cowboy in the room.

Solidarity forever.

Cardinal Damon, you know the answer.

It's Cardinal.

I saw that cowboy, Yeah.

And I was like, yeah.

Cowboy Cardinals.

Is the buddy.

Cop Vatican procedural show we need.

I'd watch it.

Cardinal Lestrassi, who are you?

Closest to you, Dean.

Sure.

I'll.

Allow it.

So, Cardinal Zean, you've earned a.

Point because you called everyone by a nickname.

Yeah, you.

Want to know the one I?

Had for the Dean.

Yeah, it never came up organically, but I had Dean, Worcestershire would have been pretty good.

Would have been.

Pretty good Cardinal Matelli will not get their bonus point because sadly they were too well liked.

I begged y'all not to vote for.

Me, I shouted into the void.

No, no, please, Cardinal Matelli.

Had a special condition.

Where if they only had one point, they won.

Wow, that's nice.

Cardinal Damon will get a.

Point for being able to name three dogs.

OK.

Unfortunately, I don't.

Think Cardinal Mastrasi got everyone to compliment them.

So I don't think you earn your bonus point, but I can divvy out a few extra points here as we go along.

Cardinal Lestrassi, what was your secret goal for the church?

Oh, my secret goal was to.

Have Beyoncé canonized as a St.

as a favor to be Illuminati because I owe them money A.

Point to Cardinal Lestrassi.

Hey that.

Motion carried.

Cardinal Zine.

Will you reveal your secret church mission?

And if you achieved it, you know I don't think I did.

It got too silly.

Mine was just to uphold the moderate stance of the church and well, thanks, got a little lackey.

So no, Cardinal Matelli would.

Just.

Reveal your secret goal for the church.

Yeah, I'm trying to make.

Catholicism.

Austere.

Make it less gaudy, less glitzy, less golden, less rich, less wealthy.

I'm torn on this one because on one.

End We did vote to remove all the gold filament from the Bibles, but on the other end we canonize Beyoncé.

I voted nay on.

Those things and also we made sure that no second gaudy Vatican happened.

That's true.

And now?

There's dogs and Bibles and now there's dogs and Bibles.

There's.

Puppies then, I suppose.

We'll.

Consider that gold achieved 10.

Cardinal Damon, I don't think it's any mystery, but what was your secret goal?

Yeah, I should have done.

The Straussi negotiation, because mine was just to get the Vatican into US.

Dean Winchester comes.

To the Conclave congregation holding the box that has all the little papers where you put the Cardinals name in them.

I always wondered if they can read all the handwriting to the Cardinals, but I guess we keep having Pope so they must be able to and reads off the votes.

Receiving the least amount of votes for Pope.

Cardinal Damon tied.

For the second most.

Votes for Pope, Cardinals Lestrasi and Cardinal Jean if he knew.

Don't do this to me.

Please.

Don't do this to me.

Matelli.

If I may speak from the heart as you're a Dean.

Cardinal Matelli, I do truly believe that the most qualified popes are the ones who choose to refuse the station.

You've been called upon by God, Cardinal Matelli, so we have two things for you to do next here.

Meadow 1.

You may choose your new Pope name.

Remember no Roman numerals.

And then you may give us.

Your.

First speech or first sermon as the Pope, I think.

She takes the.

Holy water from the side of her holster and like chugs it and corks it, puts it back in the holster and it's going to whistle for Hubert, her horse.

And you can hear him start clip clopping up the stairs and she says.

I stand before you.

Today as Pope Holiday 319.

You cannot catch me.

Fast enough on this horse to make me assume this position within the next 24 hours.

And I have things to commence and loose ends to tie up.

And there is indeed some debts to reap.

And I can't do that once Pope.

So may the Lord be with you.

May you know all your popiness be protected.

I'm real sorry things turned out the way that they did.

And I will be working with Cardinals to make sure certain celebrities, certain Hunger Games, certain Vatican City replicas never happen.

Your minds are creative.

And the Lord works through you in the most mysterious of ways.

Yeah, and just get the fuck out of there on Twitter.

The Pope riding.

On the papal horse across the streets of Vatican City, people cheering members of your home nation rejoicing that they now have a seat at the most powerful table in all of creation.

And that is model our nation's insane.

Insane fever.

Dream insane I have.

Not.

Laughed.

This hard.

In a game in a long time, that was.

So funny.

Outstanding.

Everybody, we've done it.

We fixed the capture, we did it.

We did it.

Model our nations that's.

A wonderful game by Eric Silver.

A link to purchase the game is, of course, in the description.

It absolutely rules.

We're big fans of it.

We've been a big fan of it ever since they played it on a little show called 5 GMs in a Trench Coat.

So thanks for letting us ride your coattails, Kim, everyone, thank you for playing with us here today.

For those who enjoyed you, let's find out where they can find more of you.

Grace, thank you for playing.

Where can people find more of you?

People can find more of me on the tabletop.

Tailspinners network on our 5V podcast Magnificence and sometimes on the Internet, but not really, so good luck.

You should be listening to Magnificence.

Anyway, I've only talked about it 100 times.

Kim, where can people find more of you?

Oh, snap.

Hi I'm.

Kim, you can find me on the Internet at Do on a Tree DEW Like the drop.

You can also find me mostly over on Five GMs in a Trench Coat.

We are a award-winning TRPG actual play podcast where we rotate GMs and tabletop systems each season.

By the time that this is out, there should be a Kickstarter going to raise some funds for our Season 5, which is going to be releasing on September 15th.

If you like 80s retro horror Rd.

trips across America in 1987 coming of age stories, you should tune into that.

That season 5 on September 15th, we're using Kids on Bike second edition.

It's going to be a great time.

Sounds cool, TuneIn I.

Wonder if anyone here is going to be in it.

You know, I wonder.

I really.

Really, Wonder Meadow, thank you for playing.

With us here today, where can we find more of you?

Howdy, I'm Meadow.

I have been Meadow and will hopefully continue to be Meadow in the future.

You can find me everywhere on the Internet that matters at Howdy Love Darlin or Howdy Love Darlin GMI write games, run games, play games, and eat games for breakfast.

And I'm a Pope and that's always been my tagline.

This just is a coincidence that we played this game tonight.

It's why we cast her.

You can find.

Me over at my own.

Twitch channel.

I am a first time gamer and I am a scaredy cat among scaredy cats.

I play horror games, I play solo games, and I run Hex Heist, an all black table full of an incredibly talented cast set in a cyberpunk future where we steal increasingly dangerous and more powerful magical items.

So you can catch us doing that on Fridays in September to wrap up our season.

And that would be great if you join.

Thank you for having me if I may have to.

Realize Hex Heist.

Fucks I love hex heist.

That's our new tag.

All yours, yeah, yeah.

You ride off.

You ride off under the.

Sunset.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Navarre.

Thank you for joining us here.

Today, where can we find more of you?

Yeah, Thanks for having me.

You can find.

Me on Blue sky.

That's pretty much the only one I use now at Navarre.

SNP dot blue sky dot social or B sky, whatever, you know how it goes.

Navarre is spelled NAVAARSNP.

Like secret nerd podcasts where you can also find me where I make actual plays that are highly produced and really, really sad and gorgeous and there's more of them coming when I finish editing.

I also design games, so check that out.

Navarre SMP dot ish IO to play the corrupted, which is a incredible zombie game.

If I do see myself that was inspired by the narrative aspects of the Last of Us.

And also, I have a new game coming out called Soothe Wardens, which is about being deeply, intensely emotionally connected to another person as you try to save the world from monsters.

It was played here on Game Master Monday.

Alyssa ran it and it was incredible.

So check it out.

Damn straight.

I think that's it.

And.

Listen, I love everything Navarre does, especially secret Nerd podcast.

If you've been liking the sound of Game Master Monday recently, you can partially blame Navarre, who I've been stealing ideas from.

I appreciate that everyone.

Thank you for playing with us.

Today, if this is your first time at game master Monday because you are rightfully a fan of one of these four.

Hi, I'm Grant.

I'm usually the game master around here.

I'm not always a faceless Dean.

We do a new one shot and a new system with a new cast every episode here.

So if you plan on sticking around because you like the vibe here today, please do so.

Maybe you'll find more, more games you like and more creators to follow.

We will see you again in two weeks with our next episode.

So before we see you then, bye bye.

Bye bye.

Dean Winchester, I do want to point out that you made us say yay last time and I this time.

And I just really feel like as the Dean, you should keep us consistent.

That's all.

It's what the it's what the church deserves.

Everyone please give me 20.

Minutes while I repent, and I shall return it's.

Beating yourself just.

Walks into the confessional.

And doesn't come out for a while, you know?

Five Hail Marys and think about what you've done.

Exactly.

Exactly.

And excruciatingly quiet 20 minutes passes and Dean Winchester returns.