Welcome to in Bed with Cody and Sumner.

I'm Cody and I'm Sumner.

It's time to get in bed.

The best as we explored the world of love, dating, and relationships from a reality an adult film world point of view.

So take up your clothes.

It's time to get in bed with the duo that does more than each other.

Well, welcome back.

I have not been shirtless in bed in a while, so I thought i'd be shirtless today.

I just didn't even think about it.

Honestly, I know.

We're having a little bit of a stress afternoon.

We have family.

We have a family trip this weekend that we have been planning, and I mean you tell them.

Yeah, I mean, I mean in general, American Airlines has been letting me down for a few days now.

I was away in Maine for work and was supposed to be back Tuesday night and literally sat at the airport in Charlotte all day and they finally canceled it at the end, and then they put me in a hotel for three hours and I got back Wednesday morning, but I was exhausted because I got to sleep.

And now I'm trying to find my mom here in American Airlines had her sitting in Harrisburg all day and now she's sitting on a plane in Harrisburg, still flying to a different city, and probably he's not gonna make it here tonight.

So yeah, so we've been dealing with this all afternoon.

The idea of the family trip, or the excitement behind it is, you know, we're having your mom and her boyfriend come out to California for the first time together, so that's exciting.

And then we're gonna go meet my family, so to be, my grandparents, my parents, my brother, my sister, and all their kids, and we're gonna go meet them all in Pump Springs.

They're staying at a resort like a Marriott resort, like a timeshare in Pump Springs, and then we're gonna stay because we have a home near there, and.

We figured, you know, a lot of our family hasn't seen our new home in Indio, and we're gonna have a like a family party with my mom and her boyfriend and then some's family.

Yeah, so we're going, but we're yet.

We're gonna stay there with your mom and her boyfriend all weekend and then you have all of them over on Sunday for a barbecue.

That's the idea.

So now it's just a matter of getting his mom here, which we're having a little trouble tonight.

It's Thursday night right now.

Tell the stress and anxiety in my voice.

So it's Thursday night.

Really, they get here tonight, we hang out in La tomorrow, do a couple of things with them, and then drive to pump Springs tomorrow night and then spend a bunch of family time with all my side of the family and then everyone my my family's met his mom, but they have not met her boyfriend.

Yeah, he's never My mom's been here a few times, but her boyfriend has not ever been to California ever.

Oh he hasn't.

I didn't realize that part, Okay, I forgot.

Yeah, so he yeah, it'll be his first time ever coming to California.

Oh yeah, that's why he wants to see like the.

Hollywood Side Walk of Fame.

You know, we'll get him some in and out all the that's right, good, another reason to get in and out.

So yeah, Which, you know, the last time that my family was around your mom was our engagement party and that was when you know, your dad came.

No, my dad was not here.

You diving him?

No, No, they already sorry, they already split up, Okay, and we're going to dive into that right now.

No, Okay, So yeah, I guess the point is is that your mom's bringing her boyfriend and they've been dating for about a year and a half and it's really awesome because he's so nice.

He's so nice.

I can tell my mom's very happy, you know.

I you know, it's crazy to say, but it's like, I feel like she's feeling like love for the first time.

I don't know if my dad ever really showed true, honest, genuine love to her, you know.

So that's kind of what we're going to break into is kind of, you know, a whole theme of gays and her daddy issues.

But you know, I've always been a gay without daddy issues.

Oh, we're going to find out this episode.

I always, you know, joked about.

It because I always assumed gays with daddy issues were, you know, was a gay man whose dad did not accept them for being gay.

And you know, there's a lot of things to say about my dad, but that was never an issue for us.

Yeah, well, daddy issues, I mean, it can be not accepting for that.

But it really just comes down to someone who has dealt with like emotional neglect or distance or unapproving father figures in their life that leads them to like seeking that kind of validation from whether it is dating older men, like fantasizing about men with power, or or seeking that elsewhere because they didn't kind of get that, and I've never really, I don't know, I really got you do have.

Growing up relations with your dad?

Yeah, growing up, I always thought had a very normal relationship with my parents.

My dad's in a small town, a small town, didn't know anything different.

But as I get older and I go to therapy and I learn things about just educate myself on manners and behavior and all that stuff that you kind of learn as you grow older and become your own person.

That you know, my brother and mom and I we really put up with a lot of emotional abuse from my father.

You know, he was very temperamental.

You know, I always say undiagnosed bipolar because you know, he'll never go get tested for something like that, but you know, he's very temperamental, very angry man.

Has very high highs, very low lows.

But the main problem.

The main issue that I have with my father is it was twenty twenty two my grandparents passed away.

My mom.

You know, I just want to preference like that, Like the kind of the theme of this topic, why we're going to talk about it is just you know, sometimes people don't know like when when when is enough of now to cut off a parent, like just because they're your parent.

And I think this story is very important because it's been a few years now, and I think there was a time where we wanted to protect your mom and we wanted to protect you know, people that were involved.

But now it's been enough time to where like there's no salvaging that relationship, and like we want to talk about it because it is important to recognize, like it is okay to cut someone off if it's not mentally healthy for your your sanity, and it wasn't and that's why we want to talk about it.

I just want to preface that.

And I think, you know a lot of times when when I don't somebody don't know very well and they're like talking about my parents or ask my parents, like, oh, I don't speak to my father and they're like, oh, well, he's like your blood relative, like you know, you should really.

Yeah, you should fix it like it's on you.

And now that sort of response triggers me a little bit because that's not a person.

My father is not a person that one deserves to be.

My life too makes anyone feel better about themselves or benefits anybody in any way.

And you know, and there's one major thing that has happened, which I'm going to get into, but it did make me kind of look throughout my whole past with him, and you know, finally it was the cat real's actually happening and kind of at the end of the day of the day is my grandparents on my mother's side passed away, and you know, everybody got you know, a certain amount of money, and my mother's portion of her money, you know, she was hers, not my father's, and she kept cash in to save She had, you know, money in a bank account.

My grandparents are very old school.

They you know, always believed in having cash kind of stored somewhere, so my mom always did that too.

There was like an ambulance in the background.

I'm not sure you could hear it.

That's fine, no, no, no, no, no, keep going.

But so what had ended up happening is we ended up finding out that my dad was siphoning this money that my mom's in parented's pretty much without any of us knowing, and giving it to this woman that he met online.

And this woman that he met online was Russian, right, well, no, no, she was from she said she was come California.

And it's been a while, so yeah, refreshed my memory.

When I found out my mom.

So it just this is the crazy story.

Yeah, dad got in a car accident.

He rolled his truck in the snow, and that weekend, Mom went into the safe to get money out and like all of it was gone.

That would have been that was April May two, yes, when it was still snowing, because.

Yeah, yeah, so and then that happened and she confronted him and said that he had a gambling addiction and that's what happened, and you know, and all of us were like, okay, gambling addiction, Like let's help you.

You know, damn, all the money's gone, but like you have a problem, you know.

But then we did more digging and we found all these messages with this woman online and he was just over the years, it's been like it was like two or three years, sending this one money, give cards, buying her laptops, like doing all this stuff for this woman that he's never met in person and never met in person, and honestly, looking through the chats, she didn't even send him any news.

Wait, let's let's let's tell the audience how you were able to see the chats, because that's actually so freaking funny.

I was able to see the chat because I am the one who created him and AD's email.

Because he's kind of stupid.

Yeah, my dad's not very big, not very bright, so I was able to get on his email and literally watch the chat.

Your mom found him first, though, right, my mom, but a burst and then you were able to log in.

Yeah.

She didn't tell me about this for a few months after finding out.

Yeah, she didn't want.

She was trying to She was trying to figure it out.

Figure it out her herself.

Bes who she told me, And I was like, all right, get him out of there, like this needs to be over, you know, I mean, from what I knew, they weren't having sex for years and years and years.

Anyway, whatever, you want to get.

A divorce, you're unhappy, that's fine.

But after dealing money and sending it to a random person.

Yeah.

But then but then we just started digging and digging and digging in we learned that he was probably spending money on hookers, and he was sending money into this woman.

And when we confronted about the woman, he packed his bags and said, this woman's name was Sierra.

Packed his bags.

He was going, Sierra was coming.

He all the money he's been setting her, she's been saving away, and they're gonna run away and live together.

It was like to pay off some taxes on some house that he was going to get.

She got like someone died and left her this like two million dollar home, was the story, and she couldn't accept the property until she paid the taxes.

So she was telling my father that if he helped her pay the taxes so she could get the property, that she would sell the house and then pay him back for what he was giving her and they'd be together, and then they'd be together and they'd pay mom back.

You know, crazy crazy.

So you know, as soon as I start reading these, I'm like, this sounds so shady, so shady.

He's ready to pack his bag, he's ready to leave.

I'm looking and he's like ask, like in a panic, like wanting her to answer him and not answering.

Now, and I do some research.

He was getting scammed by someone who knows where they were.

They could have been in Russia, they could have been in Iran, they could have been in some in our hometown who knows.

Basically, yeah, she wasn't real.

She's not real.

And honestly, to this day, I don't speak to my father, but my brother does.

My brother still thinks that he might be sending this person money, which is crazy, ye me, like crazy, the craziest thing I've ever heard.

But anyway, so we uncover all of this, and of course, once at this point, we change the locks on the doors, we kick him out.

He's living with his mother, and let's let's let's talk about his reaction though, too, because that's important that when he was confronted, there was no there was no remorse.

Let's talk about that.

You Yeah, so, yeah, literally no no remorse.

Like how he treated your mom when she confronted him and how he reacted to her.

Yeah, so it's pretty much like he make he made himself a victim.

It was very narcissist behavior.

But it wasn't he remember, he was like he was like she she confronted him, and he was like, this wasn't working for years.

I'm not happy with you.

I don't want to be with you anymore, Like I want to be with this woman.

Yeah, Like he did all that right, yes, yeah, and he was like we're done, We're over.

I don't need you anymore.

I'm gonna be with this woman.

Yeah.

So like just like dismissive of dismissive right to.

Pack his bags and then you know, when we uncover it's all fake.

And even to this day he I don't think he's ever admitted it was.

He like, won't say the words out loud.

Yeah, she was fake, oh from saying.

And It's been what almost two years since I've spoken to the man, but the last I've heard he stawsn't like, you know, accepted the fact that this he was scammed and he is an idiot.

But but anyway, it was a huge mess.

I don't live but my family's in Pennsylvania.

I don't live there, so my brother had to go kind of physically deal with it and like kind of tell my dad he needed to get out of here, and all this stuff but as soon as you know my dad, I guess accepted that she's fake.

He came crawling back, wanted to get back together, wanted to move back in the house, wanted to just work on the marriage, all of this stuff.

And that is the craziest thing and the thing I love the most is all the emotional abuts that my mother has taken throughout the years.

Stood her ground.

She did, she stood, she didn't take him back.

She and because it didn't feel like, oh I want to work on this because I want to be with you.

It was when that person started ignoring him, and there is a hint that oh wow, I'm not going to get my money back this this relationship with this other.

Whether he thought it wasn't that he thought she was fake at that point, it was that that relationship might not happen.

So I need to I need to survival mode, a survival mode of let me go fix what I just broke, because like I might be screwed.

It wasn't because we look back thinking it's not because he felt like he wanted to be with your mom.

It's because he survival mode.

It was still very selfish what he was doing.

And that's what was so screwed up.

The craziest thing, too, is that this safe that had the money in it, he was not supposed to have the access to it, the code, the code to the safe.

How did he get it?

You know, it's it's the craziest thing.

But anyway, you know that kind of all happened.

You know, we all have a little bit of a trauma from that situation.

You know, it's not a normal family divorce.

It's kind of you know, sounds like a soap opera in my opinion, which is why I think we're telling the story.

But you know, it took me a while, and I think it's you know, we're we kept strolling our wedding because I didn't know where my father fit in my life anymore.

I didn't know if I wanted him to be my life.

I didn't know exactly what I needed from him.

And then there was a moment where, you know, I went home and I saw him and it was very comfortable being around him.

But you know, I did give it a try, and it got to the point where I was like, I need you to do this, this, and this for me and show me that you're going to like either get some help or at least realize why you did what you did, or just take some accountability for what has happened.

And instead of saying yes, I love you, like I'll do that, it was just attack at me, like literally just act like a child, like calling me names, saying I'm the worst than ever told me I need a DNA test that I'm not even his, which is insinuating that my mother cheated on him, and I like I have a different father, which is crazy.

But I did take a DNA test recently just to find out, and the results are coming in the mail.

But I'm pretty sure i'm his, unfortunately.

But you know, you know that if there is a god, maybe I have some really rich father out there.

That I never knew about.

You know, that would be fun.

I know that would be fun hunt him down.

But you know, it's just I gave him, and I don't think the things I was asking of him, I didn't even honestly on the list.

I didn't even ask him to pay the money back.

Now I think of it, you just wanted it sounds like you just wanted some acknowledgment that he acknowledged what he did, yeah, and that there was some remorse.

Yeah, I think that's all you and your mom really kind of at least like the bare minimum we're asking for you.

And I mean, so how do you feel like it?

Uh, just like kind of asking you, you know what, like what like what did this do with your relationship with your mom?

Because you already had a really good relationship with your mom?

So what happened after that with you and your mom?

I mean, for all I wanted to do was be as a support system for her and even for my brother, because I felt bad that I was so disconnected from the situation.

They all live in the same same small hometown and had to physically deal with his presence daily, you know, and I didn't.

So I was just trying to be a supportive for my mom if that came to finances or like questions with divorce and her lawyers and all that sort of stuff.

But honestly, she didn't let me let me help much.

To be honest, my mother is a very proud woman and kind of did it all of herself, and she took over a mortgage, you know, by herself, needed to salaries to pay, and honestly, all the money my father stole could have paid off the mortgage.

So you know, there's just so.

Much where was your mom left financially, like at the end of it, like at that time, you know, so.

He still he's not only did he steal what was probably like one hundred thousand dollars more, I don't know the exact number, that could be less or more, but he also opened up all these credit cards in her name and was like charging.

She had all this credit card debt in her name that she had to deal with, and it's just the craziest thing.

I will say today, all of that credit card debt is paid off.

I can't believe she did it so quickly.

You helped her out a lot though, like just just advice wise, you know, because they do live in a small town, rare, rural Pennsylvania, and there's not a lot of education behind finances.

Like your parents, like you said, they got married at eighteen or together eighteen, like you know, they didn't have a lot of edge cation with that stuff.

So I mean, what were some of the ways that you were like able to help out with.

You know, I kind of helped out financially if I could.

We would go home, and I think we we went home on time to see her and the basement was flooding, so you know, we to deal with that.

I don't know, I mean, is there something you're asking.

No, I just want you to be able to share, you know, because I think you did help out a lot.

I think a lot of I think a lot of you were.

You were a big emotional support too.

Yeah, I mean, I mean you.

Took on a role that you really should never have had to and no one should ever have to take on that.

I would say definitely.

I definitely was the person that I like, let she I just let her vent.

You know, we call each other on our way home from work every day, and probably for a year or two.

It was the same complaints about my dad for the longest time, and you know that can get annoying, especially if with friends or anyone.

But like I knew she needed that, and I knew she didn't have anyone else.

To do that with.

So it was hard for you, I.

Didn't think at the time.

But again I was trying to be a support system for them, and I never really grieved this situation, and I think, as you know, it did affect me later, you know, I my behavior became a little erratic and I was, you know, lashing out a little bit, and I was getting moody, and you know, an normal, normal person.

I went to therapy to talk about it and I'm working through those things.

But that's the thing too, is with my dad, even my mom or brother, none of them will go to therapy.

Yeah.

It so looked down upon where we're from, but it's just like the one thing that is probably the most helpful in this world, especially in this such a unique situation.

Yeah.

Well, and what your mom was doing with you was their therapy, but that was never your role that you should have had it taken on like that should have been someone else.

Yeah.

I mean it's amazing that you were able to be there for her for that, but that shouldn't be the role that you should have to take on.

It should have been seeking help.

Yeah, And honestly, over the year over it was like it's probably a year and a half, two years.

My dad is very nuts and he was doing really crazy stuff.

Just like one day he'd be super nice I am, one day he'd be nasty, you know.

Like again I said, he had these highs and lows.

I think he's my polar but it wasn't till my mom, I think was they were divorced and it's been like two years and she finally started dating somebody.

He went off the rails.

He literally was like just harassing them.

They had to get security cameras.

He was like taking their mail and just throwing nails and screws around their car tires where they were parked and just doing them the like it was like Marky Mark from Fear crazy movie Fear.

I don't have you ever saw that.

I don't know if anyone watches The Valley, but Jack's Taylor this season and how he treats his wife and you know, her name is Brittany and they divorce.

It was very trick.

It's very triggering season to watch because he does remind me how how my father acts, very much like oh, I'm sorry you saw that.

No, I'm sorry I did that, or you know what I mean, it's that's that's who my dad is.

I guess.

I guess we can kind of come to the that that this episode's kind of like what do you do when your parent is a narcissist?

Yeah?

And I do you have to cut him off at some point?

You?

I mean, you have to do with as a adults ourselves, like we have to.

You have to cut relationships that aren't mentally healthy no matter what.

Yeah, and you tried, you did try.

I mean I talk about over the years, like the things that you you know, did you know to to try to like I don't know, I mean, you were upset for a really long time, but I wasn't.

Your mom wanted you to have a relationship with him.

Yeah, everybody, everyone did, And but honestly, after all this happened, looking back, it was like, I don't think I ever really had that great a relationship with him to begin with.

You know, he always has made me feel a certain way, Like my brother was the more athletic one.

I was the like the book smart one, and you know that was more important to him, you know, so and being gay and they were accepting of that, you know.

But I do feel like there was always you know, there were he would always prefer me to be straight.

You know, It's just they're just I never was treated equally with my brother, with him specifically, you know, and I and after this all happened, and how he couldn't take responsibility for it or even kind of kind of understand his behavior.

It's like, I think I just literally tolerated my father for my mother and brother over these many many years.

And the moment I decided that I'm done, which was New Year's what two years ago?

Mm hmm, he literally got drunk on New Year's and told me.

He told me I have thirty days to change my last name.

That's what he said to me.

And I was like, this is this is where you need to educate yourself, dad, because that's not how it works.

Number One, you can't name a child and then take their name from them.

You don't own me.

You don't own my name.

That's not how it works too, saying it to me like it is an honor to hold this last name.

I've been a small town where everyone knows everyone's last name, and I'm embarrassed to have this last name.

So it was it's just the way his mind works and the way he thought that was a diss or.

I think text though he did call your mom a cheater and say that, say that the point was to change your name because your mom definitely was doing it and had you because of someone else.

But also it's like, dude, just we have life seats of you talking to other women.

Yeah, I mean there's nothing, there's nothing to prove anything about my mom.

And you know what, I hope that my mother did.

I hope she did.

I hope she went around and fucked to ever because my dad is a piece of shit and he always was.

And I wish I was more aware about I wish I was more aware of it sooner in life, because it would have, you know, we could have avoided a lot of pain.

Of all the stories and incidences that I know, I mean, it sounds like he traumatized you and your mom for many years, and it was to the point that where it just felt like it was normal, like living there under that roof and him and his anger issues and lashing out, like it was just like, oh, well, this is just normal.

This is just what dads act like, you know, and like that's such like that's just how he is, That's just how he is.

Like that said so much.

Yeah, that that's like how what it came to in your mind of like oh that that was what was normal Like that.

That sucks.

And that's why with the new boyfriend.

On a positive note, like him treating her so just with even the bare minimum.

I mean, it's way beyond that, but just like a little bit of kindness.

She's like, whoa, is this what it's supposed to be, Like it's so sweet.

Like literally, literally they were together a month and my mom snores and snores pretty badly, and uh my dad would just swear at her and yelled her about it.

Within the first month, her new boyfriend took her to a respiratory doctor and got her an apap seapap seapap machine.

Yea, literally, and now she sleeps fine and there's no complaints.

Like it's just wild to me.

And I think the biggest thing out of this is I don't I'm which is why I talked to about therapy, is I do not want to become my father because I do have very low patience.

I do.

I am temperamental sometimes and it's like something that it's like if iend like, oh, I don't want to be my mom.

But like most people's moms and dads are normal, like me saying, I hope I don't turn my dad like he's like the devil, like you know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, And it's just I.

Think I think the goal is to always be a little do you know, just be a little bit better than your parents were emotionally, financially, all of that.

But I mean, when your case, it's like, no, let's be like one to eighty from I think we don't want to be that at all.

I think overall, this whole thing and everything he's done has made me be more aware about my behavior because I don't want to be classified anything like him.

And yeah, and honestly, to this day, I don't talk to him, but from what I hear, he still harasses my mom and her boyfriend.

And you know, my brother has children, so they share grandchildren, and you know they're at the same sporting events sometimes, and you know, just I don't think it's the best situation.

And the sad part is I think he's gonna act like that till the day he dies.

Probably.

I mean, no, he's he hasn't shown, from what we know, an ounce of remorse about anything.

And why she dated this person two years after they split up and after he did what he did.

And he also brags about being going on dates all the time.

I don't know if they're real or not.

But he from what we last turned to your brother that he's talking about going on dates all the time.

Those women should run.

I'm also like, there's literally five people that live in Sunbury, so I.

Don't know who, but literally they he just and I think at the end of it, the way he tells this story to people, if they don't talk to my mom or me or my brother, they think my dad is a victim.

Somehow he's making himself look like a victim.

And he's not a victim.

Like my mother was an amazing wife.

You know, me and my brother were very very well behaved children, like never got in trouble.

So I do not understand stand the only victims in this situation are my mother, my brother, and I and and he has you know, just destroyed any sort of normal relationship with his children.

You know, my brother keeps them around, he says for their grandchildren.

I just smile and say, okay, I still don't really agree with that.

But never be around our grandchildren.

I mean, even if we had grandchildren right now, like children, or had children right now, like, he would not be you know, there's there and we see his picture.

Yeah, like if they just got a divorce because you're not happy or you cheated on each other with that I'm okay with that in the sense of like it it's not gonna take you from being around the kids, you know, but like you're now, you're you've stolen money, you have no you're not you have no apologies.

You've also put put you put your mom in danger by putting nails in the dry.

Criminal activity, criminal activity large, you know, like you should be in prison.

You should be in prison.

That's where I think it kind of crosses the line because there are so many people aren't happy in their marriages.

People you know, have affairs whatever like that should have nothing to do with whether you see the grand kids or not.

But this behavior, I think, does warrant Do.

You want that to be your role model?

I don't think.

I don't think that's a good role model.

No way, no way.

Of course, you know, and that's not us condoning cheating.

Of course you should also that sucks too.

But you know, people on happy in marriages.

I can understand that, and I can I mean, you can forgive that they have they not sleep in the same room for years.

And I even told my mom when should be happy, You're gonna get divorced years ago, and I just think they just they didn't know, they didn't know any better.

They you know, they've been together since they're eighteen.

So you know, the pros of this story is, my mother is happier than she's ever been.

She crawled her way out of the debt that my father put on her.

She is with a man that is treating her as a man should treat her.

And you know, I'm just I'm happy for her, and it sucks that she had to get here through all of this bullshit, but you know, at least she's here.

At least she's there.

At least she's living a happier life hopefully and hopefully soon tonight here or it'll be tomorrow.

But yeah, well anything, should.

We play a game?

Yeah?

All right?

Else you talk about today?

Miss anything?

We can totally keep going.

If if there's anything you feel like you want to talk.

About, we could.

I mean, I could go on that with.

This feel free.

I mean, if there's anything you feel like you missed.

I mean, I think this is an important topic.

I would like you.

I would I would like I would like questions if anyone's interested, because I could totally I definitely left things out.

You know, you did very It's a very long, very There are so many details about this.

Story because it's years I.

Hope the way I told it makes sense.

I hope you understood it.

But I will totally a part two and talk about more if there are enough questions for sure.

Yeah, yeah, let's do your game.

I think I think it's very important to talk about like when when to cut off a parent, because I think so many people get so I don't know, they get so traumatized about it, and I feel like you've done a really good job.

Well it was a traumatizing experience, but you put your foot down and you're like, no, I'm not going to have a relationship with you because it's not good for me.

And that's okay, even though he's your parent.

Yeah no, So yeah, listeners, let us know we can keep we can.

We can have another episode about this and talk more about it because there was so much that happened.

Yeah, all right, it's time to find out if my sweet spicy bottom brained boyfriend is living his life free of fatherly trauma or or if cutting off his bio dad only cleared the way for forty plus Jim daddies to ruin him emotionally.

This is daddy issues confirmed or cleared?

All right, so Cody's going to answer these fifteen questions?

Do you have on your phone just to write down?

Just you'll just write down A, B or C.

Okay, just so we know which ones you answered.

So all right, so we've got fifteen questions, so you'll just type like when you write it down, just type one and then whether you're answered A, B or C.

All right, okay, all right, all right, ready, ready, all right.

When someone calls you good boy in bed, what's your body's first response?

A tension like daddy flashback, tension, be a little spark, but you pretend not to like it or see full submission, immediately do what you're told.

Do you want me to say it?

Yeah?

H B B all right, so a little spark, pretend not to like it, you like it a little bit?

Okay.

How do you feel about authority figures who ignore you unless you perform perfectly?

A?

That's my dad blocked B.

I'm used to it.

I kind of want to impress them.

See that's my type.

Turn the cold shoulder up, i'd say.

A.

Okay, so that reminds you of your dad?

All right, you hear the phrase you need someone to keep you in line?

Your response triggered be curious see legs in the air.

He A, I don't think I don't think I would like anyone saying.

Okay, all right?

Four?

Be honest.

Do you prefer when a guy is emotionally unavailable but built like he could bench press you?

A?

No?

B yes?

See the literally see that's literally the only thing I swipe right on?

Uh just a all right?

Five?

Do you secretly crave approval from older men, even ones who barely acknowledge you?

A?

Not anymore?

I block my dad for a reason.

B.

If they remind me of someone, it hits harder.

See yes, please tell me I'm doing a good job.

Say A all right.

Six?

You get disciplined in bed?

Are you a uncomfortable and defensive B?

Slightly arouse and ashamed?

See fully thriving.

What's the question again, you get disciplined in bed?

What was a uncomfortable and defensive be slightly aroused?

C fully thriving.

I'll say A okay.

Seven.

How many past sexual partners had coach, boss or mentor vibes?

A zero?

Be a couple see a lot zero zero?

A okay, someone tells you you were never you were never enough for him?

Who comes to mind first?

A, my dad, be my last three boyfriends honestly or see honestly say man different fonts, so like everybody, I guess A.

I don't come That one is question more of a question mark.

You're never enough for him?

Dad comes to mind first?

Okay.

Nine.

When your partner raises his voice during a disagreement, you shut down, B, try to fix everything.

C get flustered and accidentally horny.

I'll say shut down, okay, okay, depending on the argument.

Yeah.

Ten.

Has anyone ever said you just want someone to tell you what to do and you didn't argue?

A?

I did argue, B.

I smirked, see no argument, assume a physician.

I'll just say B.

Okay.

Eleven, I'm proud of you.

If a man said this, would you a cry?

Be blush?

See ask him to say it again, slowly while holding your face.

Just be.

Twelve Have you ever had sex with someone specifically because they reminded you of your father's body type?

Oh?

No, no?

Wait wait A is ill?

No already?

No, that's okay, all right?

When you cut your father off, what emotion came next?

A relief?

B?

Rage, see rebellion relief.

Okay fourteen.

When a man says I'll take care of you, you think, a that's sweet.

Be what's the catch?

See, yes, daddy take my credit card to my soul.

Hey, that's sweet.

Okay, finish this sentence.

I'm most attracted to this last one.

I'm most attracted to men who a respect me and my community well or sorry, respect me and communicate well, be challenge me and keep me guessing.

See could emotionally destroy me and fix garbage dispos on one visit?

What was?

What was?

Again?

Respect me and communicate?

Well?

All right?

How many seas did you have?

None?

You know, have any sees?

Right?

All right?

Gosh, all right, Well for this one, you are daddy free and functioning.

So this is kind of what I thought I really feel like from meeting you.

You know, we've been together six years.

I've never once thought you had daddy issues, and not that daddy issues would be a bad thing, per se.

And it's also, if you're wondering, it's not even a clinical diagnosis.

This is a cultural diagnosis that people put on for this whatever reason.

So whatever, if you're attracted older man, you're attracted to authority.

You want validation from that, go get your validation.

Who cares.

I don't think I've ever dated an older man.

Yeah that's also the thing, you've never dated an older man.

So I really, you know, kind of I didn't know how many seas you would get, but the fact that you got none the.

Sea answers kind of grost me out a little bit.

Yeah, they were just there.

They're a little more.

I've always just been very independent.

Yeah, they just felt very not that.

Yeah, that's fair.

So, I mean I don't feel I feel like you are still processing the trauma of the divorce and that.

But as far as processing the trauma of like you're you're the neglect and emotional strain from your father, I do think you may be a process to that because zero to four c's concludes that you've processed your trauma and maybe you're even a daddy now, proud of you, emotionally evolved king.

Probably daddy.

I think I think what it is, it's not it's not even about my dad, it does.

It's about this person who is still acting out and you know, even doing things in my opinion, that should put you in jail.

And it's not like no one.

People are enabling his behavior, like his side of the family, and people are just like, I don't know, he's just like getting away with nasty shit.

And that's I think the part that I'm not over.

I want to see retribution, you know what I mean, Like, I want to see justice in some light when it comes to him, because I gave him an opportunity to at least like get forgiveness and it was shoved in my face.

And now I just wanted to see him burn.

And I maybe that's the part I need to work on.

The rage maybe yeah, maybe it fuels you.

I don't know.

Only you will figure that out.

Yeah.

Well, well I love you.

I think this is good to talk about.

It was very free love to hear from the listeners.

Yeah, I'm you know, if it didn't make any sense, I am so willing to explain more details about things.

But yeah, very traumatic and I hope it was entertaining for the last forty minutes.

All right, Well, we will be back next week.

Thanks for joining us and getting in bed with us.

Thanks guys, b.

That was another episode of in Bed with Cody and Summer, the.

Duo that does more than each other.

Please like share, comment, and subscribe until next time.

Stay maked