Well, I swan me too, so do I.

How about you?

Yes, it's the new Swan Show with our great singing star Doris Day a.

New singing favorite Bill Farrow.

That's me.

Our guest Jack Bennet.

Irene Ryan, the four hits in a miss than you Less Brown fan, We swan exclusively.

How about you?

Yes?

How about you?

Who me?

My name is Robert hop Along.

Hope and now Bob Hope.

Swan's eye view of the.

News, Princeton, New Jersey.

Hurried conferences and frantic alibis were the order of the day.

Here it was the nation's polltaker sought to explain their disastrous error in predicting the results of last week's election.

Doctor Gallup was amazed at the outcome, but he wouldn't admit he was wrong.

Last night he was still peeking into the White House window and singing, maybe you'll be there.

He was really unhappy when he saw the election returns.

He slams, it's the last time I take a house to house survey.

From now on, I'm going to ask people.

I call up Elmer Roper and said, how can your predictions be so wrong?

He said, You see, we mathematicians make a prodigious effort to ascertain by statistical and prognostication and political press to digitation the approximate parallelisms.

I said, what does that mean?

He said, where can I get a job?

And last Tuesday night Drew Pearson said over the radio, I predict Dewey will be elected by ten thirty.

At eleven o'clock, he said, I predict Dowey twelve, he said, I predict the next morning he said, iy.

Ya ya ya yai yea.

New York.

New York Phone Company executives announced here today the telephones for automobiles were at long last ready and available for mister abridge motorists.

I had a phone put in my car last week, but the wires must be crossed every time I step on the start of the sparks.

Plugs give a busy signal and the receiver sphere.

It's a quart of hot oil in my ear.

But they are a big help to the motorists.

If a guy's feeding, you can look in the rear vision mirror, see a cop trailing him, call his lawyer and the three of them can meet at the next intersection.

But think what it'll be like later on when cars have telephones and television.

Two.

A guy's driving along.

His wife calls up and says, honey, bring home ahead of lettuce and carrots, a cucumber, and get that tomato out of your car.

Washington and DC, the greatest ovation in the history of the nation's capital, greeted President Truman as a crowd of seven hundred and fifty thousand cheered his tryal opened return to the White House.

Yes, sir, was that a reception From every window.

They were throwing confetti and old cabinet members and and the world will long remember President Truman's the historic words.

When he returned to the White House, he said, it's okay, best you can send the laundry out now.

When Harry got back to the White House, he started hanging up his coat.

Governor Warren stuck his head out of the closet and said, I'll be out of your way as soon as I pack up my oranges.

The Democrats did so well in that election they're even coming out with new products named after the President.

They got a new thing now called the Harry Truman popsicle.

It's a frozen Republican on a stick.

And with the election coming out the way it did.

A lot of people had to change their plans.

Now Margaret Truman has to go back to the White House, and she had it all set to be the fourth Andrews sister.

The three candidates have really changed that tune since the election.

Trumans changed from Missouri Waltz to its magic, Dewey's humming, say it isn't so, and Wallace is singing in a slow boat to China, announcing only eight more days of the swan nineteen forty nine Mercury Contest, only eight more days to win up brand new nineteen forty nine Mercury Automobile.

Right now here are more winners in.

The Daily Mercury Contest October nineteenth.

Missus Don Andrews of Portsmouth, Virginia a new nineteen forty nine Mercury October twentieth.

Missus B.

V.

Painter of San Diego, California, a.

New nineteen forty nine Mercury October twenty first.

Missus Arlene Brewster of Topeka.

Kansas, a new nineteen forty nine Mercury.

October twenty second.

Duplicate winners Mister fred S.

Bosinger of Denver, Colorado.

And Missus E.

P.

Williamson of Honolulu win a new nineteen forty nine mercury.

October twenty fifth, Missus Alvin M.

David, Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

A new nineteen forty nine mercury.

Congratulations winners, and remember, folks, there are only eight more days to enter.

Lever Brothers is giving away a mercury a day every day until November nineteenth.

That's right, a mercury a.

Day plus one thousand dollars in cash awards daily.

There's a new contest every day except Saturday and Sunday, and you can enter as often as you please.

All residents of.

The continental United States, including Alaska.

And Hawaii, are eligible.

Just be sure to follow the complete rules printed on free entry blanks at your store, and be sure to include your storekeeper's name.

Here's all you do.

Finish the following statement, I like Swan soap because in twenty five words or less.

Then send a Swan soap rapper, together with your name and address to Levers Mercury a Day Contest, Post Office Box three, New York eight, New York Well.

I swan a mercury a day.

That's right?

See who by Crackere.

Here's the galloo was selected as the arcad Queen of the National Flower Festival, our Singing arc and Miss Doris Day.

Every day I love you just a little bit more, just a little bit more, a little bit more ever a day, want just a little bit.

More than it did the day before.

You'll never guess souty my love it.

Not even in your wi the streams.

But just so you get a clear.

Compare to my love, myny the Mississippi rivers just street every day, just a little bit more, just a little bit more.

A little bit more.

Every day.

Watch just a little bit more than a did the jay before.

Then I.

More than downy ladies, ladies and gentlemen you probably read in the papers last week.

Got while making a picture of Paramount, Bob Hope tripped and tore a muscle in his right leg.

Now let's look behind the scenes see how an accident like this affects the motion picture industry.

We take you to the production offices.

At Paramount with the heads of the studio, Henry Geeksburg and why free Frankman are talking?

Say why f yes, geez, I've been thinking we've got a lot of money tied up on that character.

Bob Hope and if his leg.

Doesn't get any better, he may never be in another paramount picture.

How could a thing like that happen to us?

Oh I don't know.

Just lucky, I guess.

But why what'll we do about Hope?

His leg may be broken?

Yeah, too bad, he ain't triggered.

We could shoot him.

You know how this accident happened, don't you, yev Hope was doing that boat scene and as he tried to get on board, he slipped and felled because somebody had put grease all over the gangplank.

You know, it looks like someone is out to get him.

Yeah, I remember, ge if there's an investigation.

We're in this thing together.

Well, it seemed like the easy way.

And while we're on the subject, we got to get rid of a lot of the actors over here.

They're getting too old.

Yeah, how about that Crosby.

Remember when we thought we had mice in the studio.

We spent five thousand dollars to get rid of the mice, and theyn found out it was Crosby's joints.

So we're doing the squeaking.

You know why if I think Bing is about the.

Same age as Hope, Oh, I know it.

If we put them in another road picture.

The road's gotta be downhill, by the way.

Where is Hope?

Now he's over in his dressing room resting.

Oh oh, Doris, this pain is it's awful?

Oh is it really that bad?

Bob?

Let me look at your leg?

Oh my gosh, it's all twisted out of shape, isn't it?

That's the wrong leg?

Oh gee, Bob, I hate to see you in such misery.

Does it hurt much?

Well?

I don't care about that.

I just wish it had been my other knee.

Why, well, the knee I heard is the one with a dimple in it.

Now I'll never be able to wear my pedal pushes with a split up.

The side, Bob, Bob, I just don't understand how a thing like this could happen to you.

You're so strong and husky.

Am I?

Yeah?

And so loaded with vitality?

Honestly?

Sure?

Well, I always think of you as being a real he man.

You do, Yes, I have so much more than Gregory?

Why should I fight it?

Say?

It was sure?

And nice of you to drop in, though, Doris.

I want to.

Hello Doris, Hello, mister Holt.

Oh, Hello miss Ryan.

Hello?

Mi is Ryan?

How do you feel today?

Well, you know me, I always try to keep my chin up even though my archers are falling.

I heard about what happened to mister Holt, and I thought i'd come over and cheer him up.

Oh thanks.

You see, I hurt my leg and I can't move it.

It's nothing to worry about.

Oh, I don't know about that.

My uncle Julius had the same thing once in his shoulders and he couldn't move his arms.

The doctor made him leave them in one position.

Oh that must have been terrible.

Well it worked out all right.

When he died two days later, his arms were already folded.

On his chair.

That's nice, Poorsha faces life.

This gal backs into it.

Yeah, Bob, you should listen to miss Ryan.

She can help you.

She's been through a lot of these things, you know.

Oh.

Yes, I've never really been all well all my life, that is all of it, you know, And recently, mister Hope, it's been much worse.

Yesterday I thought I was losing my mind all day long.

I kept hearing voices in my head.

You were hearing voices in your head, yes, But.

I found out what it was.

The battery in my hearing aid was low and I was still getting.

The election returned.

Well, don't worry, Hoover made it.

You know.

Well, it was nice for you to drop in, miss Ryan.

Well, I do hope you get better.

Oh, that reminds me.

Before I go, I wanted to show you a picture of my uncle Julius, the one who died.

Well, what do I want to see a picture of him for?

Well, you might get worse.

And if you don't pull through, it'll be nice if you know somebody when you get there.

Keep me chin up now, all right?

If she ever gets married, she'll spend her honeymoon in the window of the Wrexall drug Star.

Well, I have to be running along, Tubabe.

I promised Hi Abbek i'd meet him.

He's making a screen test over here.

Aberbach is making a screen test.

You mean they've run out of talent.

Well, I think Hi will do very well in pictures because he tests.

Hello everybody, Hello Doris.

Oh hello, Hi?

Are you all ready for your screen test?

Yes, Doris, I just came from the makeup department.

They didn't get your ears on straight.

At least my lobes are on the bottom.

Hello Doris, how about running through the screen test with me like you promise.

Okay, I have you the script.

The scene we're doing takes place in the New York penthouse.

We're social leaders, and we're married.

We're splitting up.

Now.

You have the first line, and I want you to pay close attention to my diction.

Montgomery.

I'm afraid that you and I are through.

It's regrettable, but we can't go on.

Yes, Ellie, I'm so sorry that we must split, but I'm.

Afraid we must go off separate ways.

Don't you think you're carrying too many pounds of pressure?

There?

Lobes down upside down?

Okay, sorry, well, Montgomery, if we're.

Parting, well, Montgomery, if we're parting, I insist that you give me the house.

You have the house, and I.

Want the Cadillac and the two Mercury.

They're yours.

But there's one thing you may not have.

If you're speaking of the children, I want them.

You may have the children, my riches in my home, but I insist.

That you leave one thing.

What that cake of swan soap in the kitchen.

Jimmy Fedder will give this picture of four bubbles.

Yes, Alice, take everything, but please please don't take that Swan.

Swan is the newer, better, white floating soap.

Swan never crumples like our green castles did.

No, sir, you can use Swan right down to the last smooth sliver.

And why because Swan is made by a modern, patented process that no other soap can use, a process that makes Swan better.

For dishes and hands.

Swan is as mild as the finest castile.

It protects your hands, keeps them soft and smooth.

He's right, my hands are so soft.

When I want to point at anybody, I have to starch one finger.

Oh Alice, Alice, I can't leave you.

Just think a cake of Swan brought us together again.

I still love you.

And I love you.

I love you, Alice, I love you Monty.

I'm engaged with the Lever Brothers.

Yes, for your hands, your bath, and for babies bath.

Swan is the best soap a float.

When I swan, me too, you're.

Sir, my crackheads.

Here's our junior crooner we barred from the oasis this week, nineteen year old Bill Fairley.

There is no verse to this song, because I'd have walked away a moment too long.

To say that I'd love to get you.

On the slow boat to China, all to myself below.

Yet you, and keep you in my arm.

Severer ball, leave all your.

Love weeping on the fire, away showers out on the blinding with the moon big and shiny, merely your heart the stone.

Yes, I wanna get you on a snowboat to China, all to my jail, ball.

Yes, I wanna get you on a snowball to China, all to.

My jail.

On a real slow boat, on a slow ball China.

That's my son for Cleveland, Billy Barrel, Thank you very much, sing a slow boat to China.

Now tonight, ladies and gentlemen, tonight we're going to present a very different kind of thing here.

We have a thing here.

Musicians, Please no tuning while the stars on.

Please Now, as I was saying, please, please, hey you, hey Evelyn, stop with that magic violin.

I resent that well, Jack, Benny.

Ladies and gentlemen, Jack, what are you doing here?

Some surprise?

We rehearsed nine weeks already, Bob.

Look it, I heard about your leg and I thought i'd pay you a visit.

Well that's swellow you Jack.

But how come you're sitting in with less Brown's Orchestra.

Well, just once, I wanted to play in a band and not worry about the leader's breath taking the varnish off my vial.

Well, you don't have to worry about less.

Less hasn't been high since Patrillo picked him up to Bourpen.

But look, it was awfully nice for you to drop in and see me.

Jack.

Well, I was sorry to hear about your accident, Bob.

Yeah, it's a little uncomfortable.

But the worst of it.

Is, whenever I hobble down the street, people keep throwing money in my hat.

They do.

That's how embarrassing.

That's terrible.

I must be awful, Bob.

How much do you average a block?

Oh it varies, but take my advice, Jack, stay away from Beverly Hills.

Nothing but dewey buttons.

But I can't get over how nice it is of you to drop in on me, Jack.

Well, Bob, that's the way it is with us troopers.

You know, we show people have to stick together in these times of trouble.

Why, as soon as I.

Heard of your accident, I rushed right over here to be the first one at your side.

Jack.

You came over just to help me?

Well, yes, yes, of course, if you buy the insurance policy I have in mind, it helps me a little.

Too, Jack.

Why are you selling insurance?

Well, you see, it's a little early to start unloading my line of Christmas cards.

Well, Jack, I don't get this.

You're a wealthy man.

You're worth millions of dollars.

Whoops selling insurance?

Huh?

Well if you got a sample policy, you can show me there in your portfolio.

Jack, did you hear that?

No?

No, I didn't hear anything.

You sure you didn't hear that?

Echo?

No?

Kid, this is your show.

Well look, Jack, let's face it, this is ridiculous.

You don't have to sell insurance.

You're a star.

They write about you in the Saturday Evening Post.

You're one of the outstanding comedians in show business, one of them.

You don't mind me throwing that in there?

Do you now?

This is still your show?

Oh but you're really great, Jack.

People stay at home on Sundays just to listen to your radio show.

I have so much more than Fred Allen.

Why should I fight?

Say?

Wait a minute, that's my gag.

I'll trade you for the odele.

What'll my sponsors say?

Well?

I swam, yes, sir?

Wait a minute, ge wiz my goodness, and wait a minute, I'll say orry ye, wait a minute, yes.

Sir cracky, way out the.

Easy Jackieither we pedal the stuff this way or I have to put on a pair of water wings and sell it bathtub to bathtub.

My next line is a hum dinger.

Bath's up to bathtub?

Huh?

I have trouble with my sponsor too.

That's a dandylion, Thanks, Bob.

I rehearsed four weeks for that line.

Well, we were going to give you something you could get your teeth into, but we weren't sure you'd have them with you tonight.

You wouldn't dare say that if you were still with Pepsiden brother.

Power.

Let's get back to this stuff.

Huh.

We'll ever get through with this tonight.

Look at you know, Bob, you know who handy?

You know who has the sweetest?

Page fifteen?

You know who has the sweetest I'm not you know who has a sweet lover?

Get off?

I want to play the violin.

Yeah, wait a minute, wait a minute, are we still on?

You know who has the sweetest?

Lack of radio?

Don't you the disc jockey?

This jockeys?

You mean one of those guys who says this next record is sponsored by the Happy hunting Ground Funeral Home.

And now the Xtra plays he's a real gone guy.

We haven't got time to wait.

See why don't we try it?

Please your laughs not mine?

Please say why don't we try our hand at being this jockey jack?

All we have to do is make the rounds of the music shops and pick up a couple.

Of hundred records.

Well, I don't know, for free, shoot the wax to me.

Max.

Really great as a team of disc jockey says, it's heying radio.

I can just hear it.

Now, Good evening, ladies and Jesse when you are listening to the station SLOV the biggest on the coast.

And No and now we.

Present Jazzy Jack, Benny and be Bob Bob in the original radio record show Make Fee leave washroom.

Hi a gang?

All right, Dan, this is your old disc jockey b Bob Bob with another knocked out record section.

It's all on wax and it's real mad.

So you kids who want to get your kicks, lace up your boots and latch out of some of this frantic jibe that we're gonna stand swinging your way right now, cats are like to turn the mic over to a real help character, the man who knows all the answers in the world of jazz.

That's Solid Jet, my platter partner, Jazzy Jack Benny.

Then Hot Body O Doe.

Salid Jack.

And now before we spend our next flight, a few kids, we'd like to the next spin to half.

Our show is sponsored by Doctor Capstaff's weight Reducing Plant.

We lack a word with those of you ladies who weigh over four hundred pounds.

You have the feeling that you're being followed.

You are, it's you and you met over four hundred punds.

Do you have large stomachs?

When you gets your shoes shined, you have to take the Bootblack's word for it.

Why not try doctor capstaff weight reducing Bill.

Yes, to take off those extra pounds, try doctor Capstaff's method.

No diet, no pills, no injections, no exercise.

Once a week, Doctor Capstaff's comes to your house and beats you with a rubber hose.

And now we're gonna play our first records, a little tuone called I'm Dancing with Tears in my eyes because the girl in my arms had onions for dinner gonna be played.

By Woody Gribbinus and as you should live so long if you can.

Find the melody orchist bro hit it what he.

Oh?

Thanks Woody, that was great, Look be Bob.

A bunch of new releases A Jester Ross.

Gee, that's some interesting titles.

Look at this when you used to be the cream in my coffee, but now you're just grounds for divorce.

All old of this one.

If you were the only girl in the world, I was the only boy.

I wonder why I'd play handball with it?

The why?

Here's my favorite hair of gold, eyes of blue, lips like cherry wine.

I never should have stopped on them with my bare feet.

Say suppose we play that one right now?

Okay, but first a word from our sponsor.

Yes, this next record is coming to you through the courtesy of Slushies, the only breakfast cereal that shot out of a water pistol.

Oh, you don't just love slushies.

They don't snap, crackle and pop like other breakfast cereals.

They just lie there anud.

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They never come up again.

Listen to what one happy user of slushies has to say, abb and.

Eaton slushies for not on to thirty years, and I want to tell you something.

I'm getting mighty tired.

Thank you, f e spoon a battle crick mission, Say Jack, what's next down the turntable?

Oh, the folks just love this one, Yes, sir, it's a new release that features a duet by the fishing Young Walkken violin as Benny Cabel scheme and that new.

Cleveland singing discovery the velvet smile.

Yeah, Oh, east is east and west is west and the.

Wrong Walter I have toes.

Let's go where you keep on wearing those bills and flowers and buttons and bowls brings them.

Things and buttons and bowls.

Don't bury me in this prairie.

Take me where the sea man grows.

Let's go town me.

Down where they love a gal by the cut of her clothes, and you'll stand out in buttons and bowls.

Of practicing in our time.

Please.

I love you and log shirt at your homestung, but I love you longers longer where your friends don't.

Go would have done.

The UK four thousand the cactus hurts my tears.

A lets mam moose where gals keep using those silks and sat and down Lennon that shows and you're wrong mine in buttons and both.

Thank you, Dan, You've been fine.

That's right, Jack.

Thank you.

Next week, ladies and gentlemen, Jack, Wait a minute, Jack, we have next week.

It's all over, kids, pack up.

Okay, we have another next week we have Morton Downey.

Ladies and gentlemen that cook up.

Say okay, Jack, wait a minute, it's.

All over Jack, Jack, wait off.

The quite off a minute.

Nimes for the memory of the vote in forty eight, A chance to demonstrate whom we endorse to chart the course.

Of our US ship estates.

Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen.

We'd like to pay trivia to that fighting man from Missouri who stepped into the ring last Tuesday with the odds against him and came out the winner and still champion of the USA.

President Harry S.

Truman Mirrormor on the wall is my hafairst of them all.

It is when you use Rave cream shampoo.

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This is NBC, the national broadcasting company.