Johnson Wax Program with Fiver McGee and Molly, the makers of Johnson's Wax, Johnson's carnew and Johnson's Self Polishing blow Coote Present Fiver McGee and Molly, written by Don Quinn with music by the King's Men and Billy Mills Orchestra.

Many philosophers have pointed out to us that the one thing we can count on in life for certain is change.

It may be imperceptible from day to day, but there's a constant change taking place all around us, and in household things, it's usually a change for the worst.

Whither To help prevent or at least delay that deterioration, we paint many surfaces, and we wax our floors, furniture, and woodwork.

Today, more and more surfaces of all kinds, including leather, linoleum, and metal, are being protected with Johnson's Wax.

Why well, For one reason, wax is impervious to moisture.

The wax film, as long as it endures, offers remarkable resistance to aging and.

The wear and tear of normal use.

What's more, it's easy to apply additional coats of Johnson's Wax as they're needed, so that almost a permanent protection can be achieved against wear and against dirt.

Now you don't ordinarily think this problem true when you apply Johnson's wax to the many surfaces around your home, but it will really pay you to understand just how and why Johnson's wax does give such lasting protection to your things at such small cost, and with a large net saving in work, plus an increase with every application in the beauty of every room in your home.

Somebody is knocking up the door of seventy nine West forul Vista, the home of Feber McGhee and Mollie.

Hey, Molly, hey, there's somebody at the door with a package.

How do you know it's somebody with a package?

He knocked.

If he had his hands free, he'd ring the bell.

He had his hands free to knock.

He's got his hands free to ring the bell.

Oh, not necessarily.

You can knock with your feet or your knees.

But did you ever try to ring a doorbell?

All?

For goodness sakes, I'll get it, Okay, who is this?

The residents of.

Never end a sentence with a proposition.

And if you must know, this is the house that mister and missus McGee live.

What do you got bun package for missus Phipper McGee?

Sign here please?

Oh a package for me?

Oh?

Who's it from?

That lady?

Will forever remain a mystery with me, as I am only an individual which has been entrusted by the parcel delivery company to lay this precious poison in your pale white hands and get your.

Mits off that package docket for the lady.

I'm her husband.

Leave us not delve into the strange ways of women.

Comrade, sign here.

Please, I'll sign for it.

There you are, thanks madam.

And if you'll take my advice you want tavern duffy, you'll keep a civil tongue in your head.

Please strain yourself missive.

Was I consigned with the future in the profession of parcel delivery.

I would eagerly drink in.

Your poils of wisdom, but not as much as soever that I am tomorrow morning being induced into the armed forces.

You may button your kiss.

It fresh mug, fresh guy.

It wasn't that I didn't want to name a future second lieutenant.

I'd departed his nose with a knuckle.

I wonder who this package is from.

I don't remember arguing anything.

I want the way to find out if he'd open it up.

Heavenly these flowers?

Oh, and what a lovely bouquete.

Oh macgee, you sweet thoughtful man, give mother a key?

Well I can't, you can't.

Why not?

Well, it'd be under false pretenses.

I didn't send those flowers.

You didn't.

Well who did?

Oh?

I don't know.

Maybe they were delivered by a mistake, I hope.

Well, I'll see if there's a card in the box.

Oh, it says please think of me, signed Ralph Ralph.

Who the sam hill is?

Ralph?

Ralph Ralph?

Now let me see there was a Ralph bonslagger in my geometry class.

No, No, he has eight children and is married.

Well, what Ralph is this?

I want to know.

I'm not gonna have every anonymous Ralph in the country sending my wife flowers.

Why George, I'm.

Gonna well, hello, fair Molly Darling.

And fear for.

Uncle Dennis, Oh, Uncle Dennis, And what might.

Should be celebrating this fine day with your handsome bunch of flowers and all?

And McGee standing there with a silly expression on his pus made them his love's cats.

Forgive the loose use of the term Holsometer.

Well I seem to have received these flowers.

From an anonymous admirer.

Yeah, well he'll be anonymous, so I catch up with him.

Then he can easily be identified by his broken neck.

Well, now, isn't it a romantic thing?

It reminds me of what happened to an old friend of mine by the name of six Joseph ol Fegne, who was always trying to pick up a couple.

Of bucksh what did you say?

His name was six Joseph o' fegne.

Well, it seems you you mean your his first name was six.

It was that.

It seems they didn't know what to name him when he was born, so they wrote several names on pieces of paper and they put them in a hat, and his father unfortunately drew out the label.

His real name is sixty seven eighths Joseph o'bek his father being a small headed man.

Now look, uncle Dennis, do you know anybody by the name of Ralph who would be sending me flowers?

Oh?

My course, anyone named Ralph would who knew you would be wanting to send you flowers because you're this sweet.

Ever since you made that trip back to Ireland, and kissed the blinding stone.

You spread it on with a trowel.

Now, McGee, you know very well.

He went back to Ireland for his sister's wedding.

Oh I did that.

I couldn't resist it.

After getting a letter from Norwean that she was marrying an Ostrich.

She was marrying or what an ostrich fella from Austria.

No, you don't mean an Ostrich, uncle Dennis.

Oh, I don't lie, certainly not.

A guy from Austria is an Austin.

No McGhee, and Austin is a little automobile.

I thought that was a bandam.

Oh, no, lad, I can collect you fair.

A bantam is a lad who drops chandeliers on people's heads in the theater.

Huh did you see the bantam of the opera?

I took care of.

That one, didn't go all that was?

That was a fellow at all?

That's that bantam.

That is the bantom of the opera?

Yes, no, no, uncle.

Denn, No, that's phantom.

You mean he's a spirit?

Sure?

Oh well, fancy that now, my own little sister marrying a ghost.

I thought he was a little thin, but near he had changed.

He rattle had grown in the road was a dirty trick he played on the girl, not telling her he was dead, making her think he was a lad of spirit when all the time he was just a spirit.

Whoa whoa freservers, we're we're and other aliged dirish express.

Stage irishman.

All he needs is a clay pipe, a shamrock and his hat band and two friends named Pat and Mike.

Never mind him, age, Look at these beautiful flowers.

Yeah, I say, lovely.

Yeah, And to think of me having an unknown admirer.

Don't worry.

He'll become known when I lay my hands on him.

He'll become known as Rattling Ralph, the rat with the retractable ribs.

My sweetheart, I do believe you're jealous.

Jealous, Mike Clavicle.

It's merely that I got no use for a hothouse chasm ova that.

Hey, you know what I'm gonna do.

What I'm gonna call a private detective and have these flowers traced.

Hello, operator, give me the j Edgar Hooper Detective Agency.

It's across the street from that hot dog stand on huh oh no, no, no, the hot dog stand huh h o T d ol g Is that humor.

Oh, dear, how's every little thing?

Merch?

What they murd you did?

Oh?

Got word that he's definitely going to run again this year?

Is that official?

McGhee?

I think so well.

I always said he'd run again, Mert.

They got too much invested in him not to let him put No.

I never forget the time I saw him, merg It was the first time he'd won.

Ah, what a hero, standing there with his hair rippling in the breeze, eyes splashing.

Whinny eng, whinny?

Who you talking about?

Pearl away?

Mert says he's going to run again this year?

What they murt?

Okay, I'll call it by George.

I'm going to find out who this Ralph is.

And what.

Kelly Mills and the orchestra are playing.

Val swell, give me one dozen roses with my hearty.

I wish you wouldn't sing it, He whays.

Here I am seeing my home being busted up, my wife getting flowers from other guys, and I guess I'm just a face.

Oh don't talk like that, deary Well, heavenly days, you make me sound like I've been hooping around tom waving a pocket flask and dancing on tabletops.

I didn't ask this Ralph person to send me flowers.

Well, jesuiz, something must have give them the idea he could get away with it.

You know the old saying, never go around with a married woman unless you can go five rounds with her husband.

Yes, but nobody's going around with me, but you.

I'm very happy.

Can I help it if a perfect stranger sends me flowers?

Well, no, but my guy's a perfect Oh.

Here's Alice Darling McGee.

Hello, Alice, this is McGee.

Hello sm Hello a D.

And I don't mean Anta Dluvian.

What's Anta Dluvian?

I don't know.

That's why I don't mean it.

Jeepers, get a load of the flowers.

Oh, you're lucky, ducky to have a man who loves you enough after all these years, to send you fifteen dollars worth of flowers.

Nobody doesn't Why I do too?

Well?

I mean, of course that McGee didn't send these, Well.

I would have if i'd have thought of it, My god, just because some home record with more money than sins?

Come.

Oh, you don't think it shows good sense to send me flowers?

Why sure it does.

I didn't mean that.

I mean, he's got no right to send flowers to married women.

But who sent them to you, missus McGhee Ralph?

Ralph?

Yeah, they were sent us a dying request from one of my wife's admirers.

Alice, what makes you think he's dying?

If I catch him, I'll guarantee it.

But you mean you don't know who Ralph is?

Well?

No, do you?

Oh?

I thought simply everybody knew about Ralph.

He's always sending flowers to somebody.

Oh he is?

Is he?

Okay?

Alice?

Give me the lowdown.

Who is Ralph?

And what part of town does he crawl around in?

When I get through with him, his own mother won't know him.

Oh well, I guess i'd better not tell Yanna Conna.

I hate to think of such pretty flowers causing any trouble.

I love flowers.

I even wrote a poem about flowers when I.

Was in school.

Oh did you dear?

How did it go?

Oh?

Just fine?

She means, can you?

Oh of course it was.

I'm simply wild about flowers.

I think all blossoms are dandy, But my favorite flowers for boys to bring meat is candy.

See.

I wish Ralph would send me some flowers sometimes.

M Oh, this Ralph sends flowers to lots of women, does he?

That's disgusting.

Oh my gee, now you're acting like a jealous school boy.

I've never known such a thing.

I'm acting like any self respecting married man that his wife gets flowers from strangers.

Why, George, if they don't hate, where are you going?

I'm gonna put these flowers in a vase?

Have you seen the big blue on that Aunt Sarah gave us three Christmases ago?

All that that cheap little hunk of bric a brac.

Listen, now that's a very pretty vase.

And I happen to know that Aunt Sarah pretty great.

Deal for it.

Well, she took an awful rook and then she did the cheapest graded glass I ever saw.

My gosh, you can't even use it to crack a walnut with I'd have fallen into a million pieces of.

Vermigie, did you break up?

You know?

Hello, mister Wilcox, or well, Molly, you look like a June bride standing there with your arms full of flowers, which reminds me I think I'll send my wife a bouquet.

Oh that's a nice thought, mister Wilcox.

I'm sure she love it.

I know I would.

What she's trying to say, Junior, is that I didn't send her those flowers.

Who did?

We don't know.

The car just says please think of me and was signed round Oh Ral.

Oh him, you know them?

You know who this dom Cone will Cox?

Tell me who he is and how big?

Well, let me tell you how I know him.

Pal.

You see, I have another friend who has an attractive wife too.

Oh thanks for the two and.

One day while I was visiting them, you know, just sitting around the house talking how Johnson's wax is so wonderful, particularly in the winter time because with the changes in temperate you're in humid.

See, the wax protection does so much to keep furniture and woodwork floors in good shade.

That's what you're just sitting around talking about, this casual conversation.

Yeah, small talk.

Yeah, in reality, that's it, you know, Molly.

I've often seen those ads in the magazines where a lot of people are sitting around in evening clothes talking about how Charlie is so much happier now that he started wearing neat neck snug fast jelly collar shirts.

I never believe people did that.

But to think of spending an evening with Wilcox, oh murder.

I think mister Wilkis could make Johnson's wax a very interesting subject.

Well, I can talk about other things, you can, moor.

Certainly.

I also discussed subjects like economics.

Oooh, I can prove how much money you can save over a period of years by using Johnson's wax on luggage, lamp shades, window sills, and enamelo surfaces, because with that protection they look well and lasts so much longer.

You see me, gee, I retract, Junior.

You can change the subject.

Why, certainly you can go right from how Johnson's wax saves your furniture boom, right into how Johnson's wax saves your woodward David, What a conversationalist, yester.

How about this Ralph?

Mister Wilcox, Who.

Ralph Ralp the guy that sent the married woman the flowers?

While you were just sitting around fascinating everybody with your sparkling dialogue.

Oh oh yeah, well there we were just talking.

Yes, yes, we know about that, and suddenly.

The bell rings door, fire, school, swiss alarm, clock, church or telephone door.

Oh, well, it was a messenger with flowers beautiful too, had a card in them from Ralph.

We'll get to it, Wilcox, get to it.

Who is Ralph?

I've been trying to tell you, pal, he's the guy who keeps sending married women flowers.

I'll run over and ask these friends of mine.

If I ever found out who it was, I'll call you back.

I wonder if I would be unfair to mister Wilcox if I sometimes suspected he only comes in here to deliver a message about that.

Oh, I'm just being silly.

Yeah, that's ridiculous.

He dog gonet, Molly, I wish you'd stop bearing your face in those flowers.

You're enjoying them all together too much.

Now, look, sweetheart, the flowers don't know who sent them.

When I start bearing my face in Ralphs manly shoulder, you'll have something.

To don't talk like that.

And if I ever lay my hands on that home reckon hyena, he won't have any shoulders.

I'll tear them off so fast you'll have to go through life shrug in his hips.

Well, I'm sure it don't matter to me, dear.

He has a nice taste in flowers, and that's all I know about him.

Now I gotta get these in some water too, before they.

Will Ah, there goes a good kid.

She don't get all fluttery and giddy just because some patsy sends her a couple of petunias.

My shots won.

Oh boy, I hope that's Ralph in person.

I'll hide the body under the coal pile.

He'll spring.

I hope he's a small man.

We haven't got much coal.

Come in, hi, oh oh, hi, little girl?

Mm gee, what smells so good in here?

Smells like flowers?

Yeah?

Probably my after shaving lotion.

Syst m must be pretty strong stuff.

Mister, you haven't shaved since yesterday.

I'll betch you.

I have to.

My beard grows fast.

I have to shave twice a day unusually.

Yeah, who do you shave the second time?

The cab?

Now, don't you get infidences?

You know?

If I'd talked to my elders like that when I was your age, they'd have given me to the Indians.

What Indians?

What do you mean?

What Indians?

Indians?

They were all around us where we lived, oh, out there in Arizona.

I was practically brought up as a Sioux Indian.

For years my eggs were all out of shape from riding horses bareback.

She honest, yes, I always thought you're not net.

Man.

That's because I gripped those ponies so hard with my knees.

The minute I got off a horse, my knees would spring together.

Pee.

I had so much strength in my legs.

I could crack coconuts with my knees.

Oh, yes, sir, I was quite a lassis.

I had a little bow and arrow, and by the time I was seven, I could keep nine arrows in the air at one time.

Gee, honest, yep, what'd you do?

Tie a string around him and toss him up?

Hukay, okay, scoff if you want to.

But those days of the Old West won't come again, siss.

No, you'll be sorry you didn't listen to one who was there.

You know what happened when I was nine years old?

Sure thing boll stood up and you fell off his lap.

Oh, sir, When I was nine years old, my pappy give me a handful of bullets, a rifle, a skinny knife, three pounds of flour, a side of bacon, which side right side?

That's all it was left.

He gave me a phony.

Then he slaps me on the shoulder and says, okay, son, get out into the world.

You're getting to be a burden on my family.

You are nine years all in, not quite nine eight years and ten months to be exact.

So I leapt onto my pony, and I'm sat there to leave me.

Why because I wanted to ride away into the sunset.

Nothing dramatic about leaving home at high noon.

And there we went, a boy and his pony, facing every kind of danger with high hopes in the stoutheart.

Gee, where'd you go?

Mister?

Why aren't you search me?

Sis?

Nobody ever saw hide in her hair of us again, so you'll excuse me.

Did a man come here with some fire?

Yes he did.

They from Aren't you being just a trifle nose?

He says, sure, thanks, they were from a guy named raul.

Oh boy, I win a nickel, I win a nickel.

I wait, wait, what's the idea?

How'd you win a nickel?

Well, it's you to nice on a man, bring the package, and I bet him Nico round for sending missus McGee some flyes, hey willing, I went you onman, nickel.

Williet was round hey, wait a minute, what the don't don't gun it?

Does?

Everybody?

No ralph but me, the kingsman saying don't touch it.

When I was just a tiny top down in Tennessee, I kept my mammy on the spot looking after me.

I fool with this and fool with messing.

Round a bottle.

I'm one.

I grab my puppish her Mammy dear with shout, don't touch it.

I better leave it low.

Don't touch it, you'll catch.

It when Pappy gets home if you don't mind us.

But patty, mister Sunday had down in Tennessee.

He fuss and fussy cousin cossa doctor look for me, and pretty.

Soon I'd have a day to in the old wood said and win remorse.

I'd meditate on what my mammy said, tenching.

Can't you leave it lone?

All tense it?

Nay nay, you'll.

Catch it, and sure as you're born, if you don't mind ussy.

One day I went with pap me downtown to buy a shoe.

He said he was good for any man to have a simple brow, But.

Why are you waiting?

Have taken?

If we heard an awful roar, We turned around and there was mammy shouting through the doors, all tench it?

Can't you even a lord?

Don't touch it?

You'll catch it as sure as you're born.

If you don't mind what I said?

How happy were those childhood.

Painnessee the dear old fashioned country ways will appeal to me.

I badly be a boy, gave the mess around about.

I step one Pampy's derby just to hear my mammy shout.

Don't touch it badly, even lord a't touch it?

You catch it when haamdy get home.

If you don't mind myself, I'll let me.

Give these flowers fill three big vases.

Don't they look beautiful?

I think they're gaudy and overdone, an terrible taste.

I love to see you jealous McGhee.

I'm not jealous.

I'm merely a Hey, what'd you do to your hair?

Oh?

I just tried calling it a different way?

You like it?

Yes?

I think?

Hey?

Are you wearing your new dress?

What?

Oh?

Yes?

I just thought i'd slip it on to see how it went with the new hair do.

Oh, Molly, I don't like this.

My guys, some stranger sends you a handful of silly asters and you go all coquetties, pix your hair all different, and wear new clothes.

Now, don't be silly, though, I will admit it stimulating.

Gifts as a gorgeous bouquet, say McGue.

The next time you're in Kramer's drug store, remind me to try that new shaded lipstick.

I think they call it person to person.

That's disgusting, person to person the book.

Oh, come in, Oh hello, doctor Gamble, Hello Molly, Hello McGee.

What do you want?

Arrowsmith himself is in a bad mood today.

Doctor.

If I ever come over here and find him in a good mood, I'll bake you a cake.

What's griping you?

My boy?

Draft board?

Reclassify your LH two?

What's level headed?

Flat on top?

Never mind the wise cracks doctor.

When a guy's home is being broken up, a guy don't feel like swapping banter with guys?

Oh now, Megie, you foolish boy.

He's foolish, alright, but he's no boy.

Stop running your hands through your hair, bean bag, get your chin off your sola plexus and tell the old family physition your troubles.

It's Ralph, Ralph who we don't know?

Oh fine, what has Ralph?

Been doing writing limericks on your sidewalk.

He's been sending my wife flowers, That's what he's been doing.

And if I ever lay my dukes on him.

Oh that Ralph?

What's that?

You mean?

You know who it is?

Does everybody know this guy but me and me?

You mean you don't know who Ralph is?

I know who he will be.

He'll be the guy to find floating down the river with every bone in his body broken by a blond instrument named river McGee.

But doctor, tell us, now, who is he?

What time is it?

Four twelve?

Why I can answer you a question in two minutes?

Two minutes you'll answered right now?

Or by George, I'll pin your ear so far back you'll have to add three feet your stethoscope, y'all.

Don't get ambitious, my flabby little friend.

If I didn't know.

You were upset about this thing, I'd hang a shanty on your eye.

That would solve the housing problem.

For the next hundred years.

Oh is that so?

Why you over bearing's body?

Reckon supercharging?

False plunch?

Time is it?

What time is it?

Pour?

Party?

Will turn on the radio?

What fo okay?

All right, Dartie, don't know what do you think I mean?

McGhee.

Listen, our great pleasure to announce that the lucky winner today is missus Phiph McGee of seventy.

Nine wisk for mister.

As you know, every Tuesday, some.

Lucky lady receives a gorgeous bouquet.

Of blossoms from Ralph, the friendly flowerist Women for friends.

When you think of flowers, think of Ralph.

And now we present think.

Sinatraying to transcribe

Cat John All this is ridiculous