I'd rather have a rallie.

I'd rather have a rallie.

I'd rather have a rally.

I'd rather have.

A rally because Rawley's are right, right for taste and rite for throat From Hollywood, The Raleigh Cigarette Program starring Red Skeleton with David Forrester and his orchestra are singing Star Anida, Alice, G.

G.

Pearson, Vernic Falcon, Pat McGee and our guest, wonderful Smith and yours truly, Rod O'Connor.

It's a pleasure to bring you a Metroc Golden Mayor's popular comedian and the star the Raleigh Cigarette Program, Red Skeleton.

Thank you, thank you very much, And good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

Wow, hello, Red, What are you those?

I don't know nothing.

What do you know?

I don't know nothing?

Well, what do you know?

Nothing like good material?

I wish we had something.

You know?

All my jokes are new ton all knew jokes, really all new jokes right ow tonight the corn is green.

They once new this week rod Well, they hit the moon?

What they hit the moon?

Must have been a woman driver.

I don't know much about the moon, Tommy.

Does the moon rotate around the sun.

Yes, red, All planets revolve around the sun.

Boy, Los Angeles really takes a deep dirt on it.

It's interesting.

I wonder what the moon really is.

Well, I've heard several definitions, but I think it's a cold, clammy, lifeless body that glares down at us.

Oh, sort of like an income tax collector.

Well, not to change the subject, I wish you would, but I like to say, your trip to Las Vegas last week?

Did you good?

You look fresh as a flower, a potted one.

Yeah, nothing, Yeah, he said to me, let's put that junk in for a laugh.

Where is it, doc?

I'll never take another trip across that desert though it took me five days.

Five days?

Why it's only two hundred miles.

Yeah, I can only travel at night though my thumb sunburned so easily.

Well, did you see Boulder Damn?

Yes?

I took my father to get his mind off of drinking, you know, really in and help now.

He took one look at Boulder dam and he says, look, no, wonder, you can't get a chaser.

They're holding it back.

I saw a Papa beaver talking about twenty little baby beaver's.

You got them all together and he says.

Look, kids, that's what I mean.

That's like I was pretty crowded in Las Vegas.

Tell me, Rad did you do about finding a place to stay?

Well?

I finally told the mayor that I was tired of sleeping in the park.

Yeah what did he say?

Nothing?

He just laughed and played back down on the bench and went to sleep again.

But where did you stay?

Red?

At the last Frontier hotel?

That's really a nice place to have gambling there, you know.

Really, Yes, in case you ever go there.

Noticed that white flag over the hotel?

That's my shirt, I'll say.

I noticed a beautiful hat box in your dressing room.

Something good inside.

Yes, it's a present for Anita.

Ellis a present for me.

Red, Yes, and need it.

But I'm a little nervous about giving it to you.

Oh well, you know how women are.

You give them something and then they get all mushy and want to kishy.

You know, alright, I don't think I'm like that, you know.

I mean, I carry that thing all the way up here for nothing.

Well, now here's Raleigh's Rod O'Connor.

Ladies and gentlemen, Now medical science offers you prove positive.

Yes, medical science offers you prove positive no other leading cigarette is safer to smoke, because no other gives you less nicotine, less throat irritating tars than the new, smoother, better tasting Raleigh.

Yes, raleighs are right, right for taste, right for throat for medical science now offers you proof positive no other cigarette gives you less nicotine, let's throat irritating tars, so no other is safer to smoke.

Next time, ask for Raleigh's.

Thank you very much, gentlemen, and now lovely.

Anita Ellis sings some Sunday morning, Some.

Sunday morning is going to be some Sunday morning for someone.

And therese will be chiming little a specially for someone, and they'll be an organ play.

Friends and relations will stay.

Can't you hear them saying, gee, what a feature of a pin.

Some Sunday morning.

We'll all down me.

I hear the so nervous, and I will.

Try the smart.

Things surely a gross me for song one And some Sunday morning you see.

Be an organ play.

Friends and relations will stay.

Gee?

Can't you hear them saying, oh, what a feature.

Of a pale.

Sun sonlrmony we walk dommy on.

He'll be so nervous, and I try to smile.

Things surela grosy for s one and Sun the sunnimon you see.

Thank you very much, good night.

We opened the skeleton scrapbook of sattire to a story entitled Looking for Trouble.

My characters are fictional.

If there's any similarity to persons living, they should go down to the morgue and give themselves up.

Chapter eighty one.

Of Looking for Trouble is entitled The Man Who Stole me Gal.

This is the story of Dead Eye and his long search for gentlemen Jim Harkins, the man who ran away with the girl Margie the Clipper.

It's midwinter in Montana.

The blizzard is raging.

Boy, it's abaute Montana.

That is.

Whooa woo holcome horse warm eh you okay, wonderful?

Yeah?

But Dad, why go to all this trouble to get even with some critic who stole your gal?

Why didn't you ever fall in love?

No, but I fell in a revel once.

That's the same thing.

You get soaked either way.

Sodada, I'm turning back.

Turning back.

Is that all our friendship means?

No?

You know, I'd faced death for you.

Oh yeah, then how come you ran when that grizzly bear challenged it?

He wasn't dead, was he?

So I gotta find gentleman Jim Harkins, the guy that stole my gown.

Well, let's look in California.

California.

What's that?

That's the place where you get hit by a woman driver and you take a sun bath while waiting for an ambulance.

There's an ambulance.

There's people up in these mountains.

I can hear them, looked as a cabin just ahead of it.

Let's inquire in there, and if they ain't seen Megal and gentlemen Jim, then we'll head for California.

Okay, come on, let's race for the captain.

It was a tie.

Yeah, but I would have won if i'd have hit a horse.

Yeah, I'll go up knock.

On the door here, dead I What did you follow me up here for?

Dead eye?

I'm playing the piano with you, Gail, talk to me, I.

Said, what did you follow me up here for?

Because I can't live without you?

Gil?

Why can't you live without me?

Because you got all the money.

Gal, It's good to see you again.

Gal, Come on, sit on my lap.

Here, pull up a knee and sit down.

Okay, hmmm, still bow legged a zebra, ain't you?

Yeah?

I've been that way ever since I swallowed that chicken wishbone.

I'm proud of that.

Why don't you come back to the Flathead County with me?

Gal?

It's no use that I'm gentleman Jim Hawkins.

He's promised me a love nest.

Where you go with me, I'll give you some sneakers, after all, white?

Should the girl in the balcony have all of them?

You know?

How about kissing me?

Gal?

No?

Dead I I don't want to kiss Why, I'd rather have a Raleigh?

Yeah?

Who's that?

Oh?

Did I?

Jim Hawkins just rode up?

I thought I recognized your horse?

Did I stand back?

Gal?

Here's a cowboy that's seen too many of them Errol Flynn pictures?

Did I?

Why don't you let us be Maggie the clipping and Iris happiest two bugs in the rock.

Well, you better pull in your ears because my guns is loaded with DDT.

Don't trip me.

That I you can have your gal, gentleman Jim, you wait, No, gentleman, you're so yellow you could give transfusions to bananas.

Yes, well that skins me.

I'm proud of that.

Why don't we be fair and square about this.

We'll fight a duel for her hand very well.

Count three, and we'll both go now.

He ordered no better than that.

Okay, come out side.

Very well?

Did I'll take that?

Why you didn't even give deadI a chance?

I'm done for a girl.

I'm on my way to that cabin in the sky.

Oh I den, you can't go to that cabin in the sky yet because.

I love you.

Goodbye, girl, roll me over on my face.

I don't want to see where I'm really going.

You better go in, and I'm coud of that.

You better go inside out of the cool gal.

Gentlemen, Jim were through Well, I didn't know you loved him so much.

Come in, hoy, folks, did I?

I thought you were going to that cabin in the sky.

He wouldn't let me in.

Why no vacancy's up there either.

Chapter eighty two.

I give.

Chapter eighty two is entitled I've been insulted.

When a girl has been insulted, she usually looks for her man to fight to protect her honor.

If she can find him, it's usually clim cadittle hopper.

So someday mode do do do do?

Do?

Do?

Do?

Do?

I wonder if terre are doos all alone?

I'll get sneak up to the door and listen for a minute.

No, I'd better stop that listening beginning to.

Hear thine, Well, how they claim will share the do?

How they duty to you too?

Sure is a nice day today, ain't it?

The sun got back from Florida early this year?

Isn't they.

Say?

What did you want to see me about?

How clam?

People are talking?

Well, of course they're talking.

What do you expect them to do?

Bart?

That's too fast words?

He didn't get it?

Well, what just to hear about you and the widow Brown?

It's a lie.

I don't even know the woman.

And that's a lie.

Too, Oh, Clam, you're a morong.

Yes, and medical science can give you a proof positives.

I'm proud of that.

Well, you took that widder to the movies the.

Other and I didn't.

I did not he took me.

Did you hold her hand?

I sure did?

Why he was sneaking the popcorn?

Well, tell me, truly, clam, have you ever kissed her?

Only on the cheek.

Well you sure it wasn't her lips?

Well she was grinning a little at a time.

Hey, wait a minute, who told you I took her to the movie.

Well, I heard it at the drug store.

A fella said, there goes out Sarah, I do when she plays second fettle for clam cud, it'll hop her.

I didn't even know you had a union card.

No, cleam, either you make that briber mouth apologize or we're through.

Really well, then come on, I'll go down and make him take it back.

They won't stand for that.

A tall A tall, I don't stay.

You're going the wrong way.

Sometimes my feet a lot smarter than I am.

Now, come on next door.

Here's the rug store.

Oh and there is the fellaw who insulted me.

Oh yeah, well take care of him right now.

Come here, you hey down, Well.

I'll put you down.

What kids talk?

You started about me?

I'm gonna beat you to a pope.

You're the type of a guy I can handle.

You want me down?

He didn't say it, He didn't.

No, I'll put that midga down.

Well, if he didn't say it, who said it?

That did?

Tell her?

He's the one go on claim make and take it back.

Oh, surely he didn't say it?

Well, yes he did, Yes, he did.

Didn't You didn't you say claim was a two times?

Yes, I didn't.

Don't start anything, or I'll knock your conscious.

Come on, put up your mix now.

Look, I'll give you one last chance to apolog.

I apologize to you, you lily livered, chicken hearted nkum poop that mighty d.

If you don't hit him, I'm just through with you.

You heard her.

Oh look dog me go home and play with your toys, or I'll slap your faith.

You slap my face.

Now, bite your fingers off.

I'll bite your fingers off.

You slap me, or you will, Yes, sure, I'll.

Gun the morf I will.

Now.

Medical science offers you prove positive.

Yes, medical science offers you prove positive.

No other leading cigarette is safer to smoke, because no other gives you less nicotine less thrown irritating tars than the new, smoother, better tasting Raleigh Myron Nelson, America's number one golfer, says.

Quote, It's true.

I've seen the certified test with my own eyes.

Medical science has proved no other cigarette gives you less nicotine less throat irritating tars, thus is actually safer to smoke.

Raleigh's must be right, right for taste, right for truth.

You're right, Viral Nelson, Raleighs are right.

Exhaustive scientific tests of America's six biggest selling brands, thirtified by fourteen distinguished doctors, including eminent throats specialists, have proved conclusively no other cigarette gives you less nicotine less throat irritating tars, so no other is safer to smoke.

See if you don't agree, Raleighs are right, right for taste, right for throat, cry Rallys enjoy Raleighs.

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They're smooth and more satisfying Raleigh flavor.

Remember, medical science now offers you proof positive no other leading cigarette is safer to smoke, because no other gives you less nicotine, less throat irritating tars than the new, smoother, better tasting rawlegh.

And.

Now David Forster and his orchestra plays Tumbling Weeds.

I could very much way to play.

Chapter eighty three of Looking for Trouble is entitled time to go to Bed Kitty.

When a child is reminded of bedtime, there's usually a little trouble.

But with the little child psychology it can be handled pretty nicely with everyone except the mean with okid to me.

Now it's time.

All good little boys, we're in dead.

That's what they get for being good.

You know, I will come in.

Wait, get me wagon here.

You can't bring that wagon in the house.

It isn't you.

I got it from the widow head next door.

No widow deal.

I hook up at my wagon.

What did you give it for him?

He was happy with the whole deal.

You know what did you give in for it?

A black eye?

Hurry upstairs and take your back and get ready for bid.

Okaya know what happened?

The door was a jar.

Now me, poor widow nose, it's a jam.

My grandma?

How long will before old?

Enough?

I don't have to take back no more.

Never kind of a go out, look in.

Get bout the city.

Stop wasting time.

Get cool?

Okay, I will play Johnny White's murr.

I will run and dive in through the water.

Here I go.

Who pulled that?

Stop?

Are out?

I better throw the cup up again.

I better throw the cub full of water.

Yes, don't command, don't comment, I not nor don't command.

Put your jamas.

Only get out of that.

Okay, okay, goodness everywhere you go these days peeping car you know, And I did want to lay in the bubble back and try to choke a widow.

No, I get my pajamas on now, I will get out of there.

Get you.

You're soaking with well, you said, put on my widow pajamas and get out at her, Junior, don't put your pajamas.

On in the tubs now she put this here.

You're still dinky.

Didn't you use any soap?

Yes?

I did, but the way I usually it last longer.

I leave the whapples.

Yeah, take into these dry pajamas and get into beds.

Okay, I am sleepy, but I will try get for you.

I will try, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Now what are you doing?

I'm taking a cat nap?

Grandma?

Are you writing down or do I have to tie the ropes?

No?

I think the change will hold me.

Okay, well when I Grandma.

No, you can't have a drink of water.

What are this information?

Please wait for the question.

What do you want?

I'm thirty, just starling, Junior.

Are you're going to sleep or your aunt going to get any of that tie?

I may for tomorrow, Queen nice French, never tax your better watch me?

Wait you know, Juan, did you hear that noise?

No?

You think.

Now?

You don't use.

Care of me?

Now you know nothing.

They wouldn't keep you when they saw who they had.

You sure don't love me, and it might be a stranger they want me to Lenny, wouldn't let anything.

Yea blessed little hard Yeah, bless you.

It's all right.

It's only the man next door.

No, that's what I figured.

But don't you think I handle this dramatic stuff pretty well?

Go to sleep?

Okay, Hey, grandma, why did that man next door come out every night and look up on the guy for the student of astronomy.

He's studying the stars.

Oh, I want to start you see plenty.

If you don't go to sleep, I'm gonna have the glass the water for Oh, get it yourself, do anything you're like, grow up to be an idiot, and stay away from that pie.

Okay, crushing old shawl and oh boy, I'm off you the kitchen.

I'm off to the kitchen.

Now.

I wonder where that pie could be.

I wonder if it's up here on this shelf here I would take a little.

Yeah, what happened?

Why what happened?

I broke the crystal and me mickey mouth, Well, she watched up on this.

Next she olf here a mouse trap, a mouse crown whore.

Boy, that's gee boy.

That shore is strong in it.

Boy, but them old mice have to back up to that stuff.

Oh there's the pie.

There's the pie.

Oh there, I'm wondering I could take a nice big hunk.

Grandma, my good mad you know.

And then again she might say that little kid was hungry and it's okay, And then again, I don't know why I was wasting my time thinking about it.

I'm gonna do that anyway.

I'm old boy.

Boy, that's because metter than me.

Tell me, I can't put.

This back, because Grandma would smell a two legged rat named Junior.

I just throw it out the window.

You know, that man standing there sounds.

Like a bull dy.

Oh dear, he shouldn't have been standing there.

I say, he showed me.

I better get sleeping and get the bed real quick.

Well, good night, Grandma, good night.

Got to say your prayers.

I set him on your way up there.

You think they'll be answered?

Not now?

No, No, Junior I'll see if.

You can go to sleep.

If that's for me, I'm going to be born next week.

Probably someone got pie id and has the wrong house.

If he's pi, he got a light house.

Yes, where's that little grandson of your house?

With indigestion?

No doubt?

Look at my suit.

I wouldn't be seen in it.

Why didn't you have a clean.

I'm going to and you're going to get the bill.

Hey, what all annoyed about?

Kind of willow gets him.

Sleep around here?

And I'm telling me what this is all about.

I was standing on your window looking up at the stars.

Suddenly I turned to look at the big dipper, but there wasn't a dipper.

It was that kid's hand with a big hunk of pie in it.

Do care?

Why did you hit me with that pie?

He wanted to drink of Watery Junior, come here.

I don't want to jump with me.

I will be good.

Don't go.

I don't know what it is with me.

I don't have a carol in the world.

But every night quite me, jumpious.

To me, and remember what all do with you on every pilsday night.

At the same time, let Skelton, David.

Forrester and his orchestra, need to Alice Vernon Falton, G.

G.

Pearson, Pat mckainn and yours Puli Rod O'Connor.

I'm the next jersday to them.

This is Red Skelton saying goodbye Down, Thanks for listening, and listen to Bob Hope next week when he presents the Look Magazine Award, and remember the March of Dyna.

Good Bye Down, Remember listening to Hilde God tomorrow night and the People are Funny.

Without Lincolnter friding out of.

The most of these stations, read Skelton has hurting his programs with the courtesy of Metro Goldenlare.

Sir Walter Rawleigh, that's the tobacco that leaves your pipe as clean as a whistle.

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