So what happens when a narcissist is jealous of their friends, family members, or whoever, right?

Jealous of you?

They could be jealous of you.

Your partner could be jealous of you, your narcissistic partner, ex, or whatever could be jealous of you.

So what happens then?

What goes, what goes on?

What's going on inside the mind of a narcissist when they're jealous of you?

That's what we're talking about today, y'all?

Of course, if you're new here, Lee Hammock diagnosed narcissist and welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.

Boom boom boom, boom.

Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back y'all.

Before we hop deep in today's episode, make sure you check out my kids book.

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Thanks but y'all old jealousy.

Y'all seem to like these story times.

I I got so many stories off because I'm 40 years old and I'm still making stories now as we go that here's another one for y'all.

How what happens?

What happens when I'm jealous of my friends?

So I have a yeah I back in my day when I had a bunch of friends.

I know y'all watched my recent video about how I've been cutting all my friends off.

But before I start cutting people off, I was a jealous mess with my friends and I was not cutting people off that I was jealous of.

Now, there are a lot of narcissists that will absolutely cut you off if they're jealous of you, If you're doing better than them, they will slice you out of their life immediately.

Immediately.

I'm not one of them though.

I'm the type of narcissist that'll be jealous and jealous of their friends and keep them around because I want to learn from you.

I want to become more like you.

I want to kind of like assimilate into your life.

I want what you have, so I want to be around you.

I want to observe you.

I want to analyze you and break you down to your core level so I can possibly be more like you.

I'm not the just say to me.

And for me, right here, there's the difference between jealousy and envy, right?

To me, envy means that like jealousy and envy, not the same thing.

To me, jealousy means I have some type of feelings towards you.

Whatever.

I don't maybe I don't think maybe I want what you have, right?

Envy means I want what you have.

You don't deserve it.

So I'm trying to replace you.

That's the difference to be that's that's the difference right there for me, right.

Jealousy.

OK, a little jealousy can motivate you to do better, become a better person.

Envy means I'm trying to take your own up out of here.

I'm trying to replace you.

If it's a if a if it's an envy situation at a job that I want.

I want you to get fired so I can take your job.

I want to take your wife.

I want to, I want to be, I want to take your husband.

That's envy, right To me.

So I was jealous.

Now the envious narcissist, we'll talk about that later.

But the jealous narcissist like myself, I want to be around you.

It makes me uncomfortable to be around you, but I like it because that makes that makes me mean.

That means I have room to grow.

There's a friend, right?

I'll call him.

I'll call him Bron.

No, not Bron.

I would call him.

I was going to say Matt, but I actually have a friend named Matt.

I want people to get confused.

They watch the video.

We're going to call him.

We got him Marcus right Marcus.

So I have a Fred named Marcus just super out.

Just Marcus is also a narcissist though.

Outlandish loud ass narcissist, loud boisterous over.

He's an overt narcissist if you've ever seen one of your life.

I'm more of a covert narcissist who who can be over if necessary, but Marcus is an absolute overt narcissist.

You if you met him in real life, you would be like damn that's a narcissist right there.

He doesn't even try to hide it because he doesn't care.

He thinks so if you, if I'm a narcissist and you deal with me, this is what you get.

Like you're if I'm a narcissist and you're choosing to actively deal with me or have me in your life, this is what you get.

That's that's the type of mentality he has.

But his, his nature, his loud, boisterous nature is what attracted me to him because we used to work together, right?

And they always just compare me and him.

You know, he's a different race, right?

He'd be like, but y'all just like y'all act like y'all both fast.

Y'all do both do both do that.

I'm like cool.

So me and him actually became cool, really good friends to hang all the time, party together, all kinds of stuff, right?

Take we used to travel together sometimes.

It was crazy insanity, right?

But he was so loud and boisterous and outgoing.

I loved it.

I was jealous of it, but I loved that about him.

So I like, how do I be more like you?

So I studied them, I would take a look at it.

I would just watch him because I was jealous of it.

I was jealous of his loudness.

Now some, some of the stuff like that, I wasn't jealous because he was insane.

They would do some crazy stuff like I don't want to do that, right?

Hell no.

I'm jealous of some of the stuff you doing.

That's not one of them, right.

So does I like the loudness?

I like the the carefree attitude that they have.

But his carefree attitude would get him into trouble because he didn't care.

He was too carefree, right?

I wanted to be carefree with, with with limitations.

So I would just study him.

I would be around jealous of him.

Still friends?

Yeah, I wasn't doing anything.

Sabotagers, man.

You got loan that man money not do long ago, right?

And we only talked about it.

We only hardly even talked.

He called me after some money.

I get the money.

I let her cool, you know.

But that's where I went in that situation.

But I was super jealous of him.

Like I was like, I I need what you have, I want what you have.

And I studied him.

I got around him.

I noticed what he would drink, how he would walk, how he would talk, how he would act, and I was super jealous of it.

So the things that I was jealous of, I was taking from him emotionally, mentally, right?

I wasn't doing anything insidious to him.

I was trying to bang his girlfriend or cheat on him.

Like no, no, my wife actually hated that we were friends because she's like, yeah, he's he's a bad influence because the stuff that he's doing about it.

I like, girl, I can't be influenced.

You mean like influence me when I don't want them to influence me?

I'm I'm the influencer.

And this is before, this is before social media, y'all.

But that's a piece of it right there, man.

I'm telling you.

But I was super jealous of them.

I really was.

And if you have a jealous narcissist, they'll tell you they, they, they like, they can be uncomfortable around you or sometimes they'll go hard to be around you.

You know what I'm saying?

You're jealous friend.

You're jealous sibling won't, like I said in the beginning, won't always cut you off.

Some of them will absolutely try to get closer to you, to study you.

And again, the envious ones will get closer to you to try to study you in order to replace you.

The jealous ones don't necessarily want to replace you.

Now, could jealousy transform into envy over time?

Yeah.

But jealousy, a little jealousy, I don't think hurts.

It can be like friendly competition and things like that, that me and Marcus used to compete on certain levels.

Like, I'm fasting on this.

I'm doing it.

I'm better than you.

This.

I kick harder.

I run harder.

All right.

We do a lot of stuff together.

I miss him, but that ends up being a lot.

What goes on?

You know what I mean?

So I would be super jealous, but I wouldn't cut people off.

I'll be jealous of people around me who had money, right?

I really would like they have more money than me.

I was like, how do I get this?

I you make me uncomfortable to be around you, but I want to be around you.

My friend Cliff, who I used to sell houses and stuff with, I told you about my last video, the betrayal video.

Like he had more money than me at the beginning, right?

And I was jealous of that, but I didn't cut him off.

You see what I'm saying?

I was jealous of it.

I wanted to, but I stuck around with him.

I was a good friend with him.

Asked my wife.

My wife can confirm these things, right?

I'm going to get my wife on her duty.

She going to, I'm going to get my wife to start doing her own video, maybe alive or something like that.

She going to start doing video.

She wanted she wanted to be more part of it.

I think it's time.

I think it's time.

But yeah, that's it.

That's such a big piece of it right there.

You know what I mean?

So I say that to say this right here, like my friend Cliff, he was jealous of me.

He was a jealous narcissist.

I was jealous of him.

We were both jealous of each other, but we were cool.

We knew we were jealous.

We were talking, we were talking junk about the stuff that we were jealous about, man, I got to get my money up like you, man, I got to do this like you.

We were going back and forth for the jealousy type of stuff right there, right?

But it was a kind of friendly competition.

His jealousy as a narcissist undiagnosed, right?

Unaware narcissist, right?

His jealousy transformed into envy and that's why he tried to ruin my life.

Go back to watch the video said my best friend trying to ruin my life, right.

I'm telling you about the how he literally at the beginning of our friendship when he had more money than me, when I was barely having enough money for gas, he was buying everybody drinks.

I was jealous of that.

It made me uncomfortable, but I wanted to be like it.

I needed it, right.

I needed the energy.

I wanted to be around it so bad, right, But I was like, you know what the hell with this?

I'm going to do this, I'm going to do that.

So I got to go into this space like he became envious my social media when I started getting money.

That's the first time I bought him a drink.

He I could just feel the jealousy transforming, right?

It morphed, it mutated.

It mutated like what should they for?

Like like darts from like what?

Season 2 or season 3 or stranger things dart, the little monster to turn into if it's sport alert, he transformed like dart grew up into that big monster.

Yeah, that's why I was it was like a little jealous little dart and then turned into big ass yellow butt dark.

But he was envy dart and it was crazy.

But he really was envious because he tried to rule my life.

He started going behind my back, doing stuff, lying to people, lying to people about me, like doing envious stuff, not jealous stuff, envious stuff, lying to women, telling them that I wanted them, that I wanted to sleep with them and I was cheating on my wife's all kinds of crazy stuff, telling people that just because he wanted to sleep with trying to ruin my life.

Craziness, insanity, insanity.

But we worked through it.

Now I'm not we I worked through it.

I cut him off my life.

Like, I ain't even had to cut him off because he tried to ruin my life.

I didn't cut him off because I was envious of him.

Now I was going to try to catch me for you.

You don't try to catch me like Lee.

You just said you don't cut people.

I go back, watch him go watch, go back and watch the video because I had to cut him off.

He was literally trying to ruin my life.

It wasn't any kind of in between.

He literally 100% was trying to ruin my life 100%.

So he had, he had to go.

But yeah, a jealous narcissist will keep you around.

Sometimes they will cut you off, right?

But jealous narcissist will keep you around so they can study you, so they can integrate into your integrate into your life.

Sometimes they'll try to replace you in your friend group.

They don't necessarily mean they'll kick you out of the friend group, but they're just trying to replace you, right?

You've had a jealous narcissist friend that you introduced to your friends and now they're hanging out with your friends and not inviting you.

It's crazy, isn't it?

That's what they that's a jealousy.

But they they was trying to make it seem like you're envious.

You're jealous.

You don't want us to be friends.

You doing too much.

Why don't you like us being friends?

Why don't you like us being together?

Why don't you like us being cool?

You see how that works right there?

You could be a sibling that's always had to be a friend.

It could be a sibling.

It could be your partner.

It could be your look alert, alert.

You could have a jealous, envious, narcissistic parent and those bastards will try to ruin your life, boy.

They will try to hold you back.

If they think you're better than them at something that they feel like they were good at, they will try to hold you back at it.

They will try to stop you.

They will try to stifle out your glow.

They will try to dull your shine because they feel like you're competing with them and they cannot stand it.

They don't want to be competed with.

They don't want to be messed with.

And this is the crux that so many people fall into when you're dealing with narcissist and people that jealousy and envy contingent, like I'll be real with you.

If I close my eyes and people like, well, leave this describe jealousy.

I'm blind when I'm jealous of somebody, it's like a little bit a little bit of shame, right?

Shame is there.

It's present, but it's not overwhelming.

It's like a if I were to describe, if I were to describe it in weather terms, it's like a light mist.

It's raining, but you can go outside and you can't.

It's raining, but it's like misty.

You mean just like I'm getting a little wet, but I don't really need a jacket.

It's warm.

It's one of them warm, misty rains, right?

It's not even making puddles in the ground.

It's not even really wet.

It's just misty in air.

That's what jealousy feels like.

And yeah, could it could.

It start turning into a slow drizzle.

Yeah, start turning into a slow.

Drizzle Envy feels like a storm, like a like literally, you know when a bad storm is coming.

The darker the it's like the darker the clouds get.

The worst the storm is, it's pitch black and it's lightning.

That's what envy feels like.

Envy feels like it's a scary ass.

Shame is all around now.

Shame is in the sky.

Like I know I keep using Stranger things references like the the mind flare, you know the mind flare.

I beat the mind flare.

I got literally like that shame look like the mind flare how big it was and how dark it made the sky blacks out the sun.

It was like the Persians from a 300 arrows but black out the sun.

Then we will fight in the shade.

That's a good tic tac style arrow to black out this side.

But yeah, that's the difference between jealousy and envy for me.

Y'all.

You can have a narcissist that can be just a little jealous.

You can have a narcissist that can be extremely envious trying to replace you and trying to ruin your damn life.

Envy, envious ones you need to cut out because we'll keep a very if you can't cut them out, keep a very close eye on them.

Jealous ones, just keep a keep a watchful eye.

Keep a wonder eye on the horizon.

Shout out to Orlando Bloom pies of the Caribbean.

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