[SPEAKER_00]: You love the feeling of drama.

[SPEAKER_00]: I am experienced so many people.

[SPEAKER_00]: They literally cannot stop themselves.

[SPEAKER_00]: They get this rush, this overall feeling of destructive behavior, seeking out emotional intensity to fill this void, this coping mechanism, this issue, this underlying issue, and they love the intensity of that emotion.

[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to the secret life podcast.

[SPEAKER_00]: Tell me your secret.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'll tell you mine.

[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes you have to go through the darkness to reach the light.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's what I did.

[SPEAKER_00]: After 12 years of recovery in sex a love addiction, I finally found my soulmate, myself.

[SPEAKER_00]: Please join me in my novel, Seeker Life of a Hollywood Sex and Love addict.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to secret lab podcast.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm Brianna Davis Gantt.

[SPEAKER_00]: Today I'm pulling back the curtains of all kinds of human secrets.

[SPEAKER_00]: We'll hear about what people are hiding from themselves or others.

[SPEAKER_00]: You know those deep dark secrets you probably want to take to your grave.

[SPEAKER_00]: Or those lighter or funnier secrets that are just plain embarrassing.

[SPEAKER_00]: Join me each week as it would take a deep dive into one subject matter.

[SPEAKER_00]: Exploring the how, what, when, where, why, it'll.

[SPEAKER_00]: get ready for a more focused, more revealing journey of the human experience.

[SPEAKER_00]: This is secret life.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm excited for you to join the ride.

[SPEAKER_00]: Today, we are talking about...

D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d [SPEAKER_00]: So, what is this?

[SPEAKER_00]: You love the feeling of drama.

[SPEAKER_00]: I am experienced so many people.

[SPEAKER_00]: They literally cannot stop themselves.

[SPEAKER_00]: They get this rush, this overall feeling of destructive behavior, seeking out emotional intensity to fill this void, this coping mechanism, this issue, this underlying issue, and they love the intensity of that emotion.

[SPEAKER_00]: So they will not stop these habits that cause emotional highs and lows.

[SPEAKER_00]: And so we got to rewire the brain.

[SPEAKER_00]: We got to start helping them stop loving that high and the low and the high and the low.

[SPEAKER_00]: And the high and the low.

[SPEAKER_00]: So let me just get it.

[SPEAKER_00]: And so I was literally going all these people.

[SPEAKER_00]: I am working with.

[SPEAKER_00]: Just love the feeling of having this hit of emotion.

[SPEAKER_00]: What the fuck is this?

[SPEAKER_00]: What the fuck is this?

[SPEAKER_00]: And I started literally going, what can this be called because it's like, they are emotionally addicted, emotionally addicted.

[SPEAKER_00]: And then I looked it up.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's emotional addiction.

[SPEAKER_00]: I was like, oh.

[SPEAKER_00]: There's an actual thing called emotional addiction.

[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't actually know that.

[SPEAKER_00]: There's no group.

[SPEAKER_00]: A group that's emotionally addiction group.

[SPEAKER_00]: I haven't had a chance to look it up.

[SPEAKER_00]: But I looked up this quote.

[SPEAKER_00]: It says, the person becomes addicted to the feeling a certain way, especially in a situation of fear, uncertainty, rush, love, hurt, pain, will therefore constantly go back to their default emotion of that intensity.

[SPEAKER_00]: Exactly.

[SPEAKER_00]: I legit.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's a philosophy.

[SPEAKER_00]: There's a whole philosophy.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's a dopamine hit.

[SPEAKER_00]: They love the feeling of this rush of that dopamine hit.

[SPEAKER_00]: So their brain goes in this cycle.

[SPEAKER_00]: This whole cycle, your brain forms this habit around an emotion.

[SPEAKER_00]: So it repeats this pattern.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's like a muscle memory.

[SPEAKER_00]: So it starts dopamine hit of this intense emotion then it goes that emotion goes away Then your brain is like, oh my god, I need that emotion again.

[SPEAKER_00]: I need that emotion again So it starts this pattern and then there's the stress and the trauma They need stability they get bored Then the brain goes, oh my god, I need that intensity and then it starts that feeling and then that craving and then that hit and that feeling happens And then the rush of that dopamine hit and it's this dopamine release [SPEAKER_00]: So anytime you find yourself bored and then all of a sudden all this drama happens I want you to look at your fucking life and go Am I causing this to get the dopamine hit high and I bet you are addicted and an emotional addict Emotional addict and here's the problem with this cycle here.

[SPEAKER_00]: Here's the cycle.

[SPEAKER_00]: So [SPEAKER_00]: you're sitting there in your hormones and trying to feel something and you're feeling sad and emotional and abandoned and all that stuff so you start looking on social media, stalking people, consuming content, doing all these things to find some emotional hit.

[SPEAKER_00]: And then you get this feeling and you feel alive and not that that and all that stuff again and then you go through the Shane cycle regret apathy, disassociation, not yourself and then you need it again.

[SPEAKER_00]: They hit again and then you reach out to someone, get that feeling, get that sadness, get it's just this horrible cycle but the effects of it is terrible.

[SPEAKER_00]: Your net is never enough, so you have increased anxiety, increased depression, mood instability, difficult finding, contentment, frequent conflict and drama, like I said, co-dependency with things like emotional boundaries, stress, chronic stress, fatigue, burnout, self-destructive behavior, it's on and on and on and on.

[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm finding these people that I cannot get them to stabilize because even if I get them away from toxic relationships They will find something a TV show even though like Ben's a TV show and I'm like, oh my gosh You do not need to be watching seven episodes of that TV show to get a hit of dopamine about yellow stone [SPEAKER_00]: I'm just using Yellowstone, I feel like Yellowstone, okay.

[SPEAKER_00]: But like, one episode, go out into the world, connect with the Earth.

[SPEAKER_00]: So it's like these dopamine hits highs and lows and highs and lows.

[SPEAKER_00]: So if you're doing this to yourself over and over again, I want you to look at, there's a part of you that just can't be.

[SPEAKER_00]: The gist can't sit in your skin and the uncomfortableity that you have to create these dopamine hits in your brain of emotional highs and the problem with that is the lows get worse and worse so that's why here's what I'm going to have you do the next time you reach [SPEAKER_00]: To binge something, to binge somebody, to create drama for the sake of drama, to start a fight, to go into a dramatic situation, pause your shit.

[SPEAKER_00]: don't do it, just be staying your skin, sit in the uncomfortability, it will pass, try to do some active meditation, ground yourself, just be in yourself because the moment you start doing that, you regulate and then you won't need those dopamine hits and then your [SPEAKER_00]: levels in your brain start evening out and you won't crave it anymore and then normal things that get people excited normies.

[SPEAKER_00]: Let's call them like the sunshine in a certain way that hits a flower.

[SPEAKER_00]: You actually that will stimulate you and release dopamine in a normal way and you can appreciate beautiful things.

[SPEAKER_00]: So that's what I want you to look at is the dopamine that you're [SPEAKER_00]: not good for your brain.

[SPEAKER_00]: And then you can never appreciate just every day beautiful things.

[SPEAKER_00]: And that's why I wanted to do this short episode to try to get you to stop going for the easy hits of drama to release the dopamine.

[SPEAKER_00]: Because that's the same thing as heroin addicts, as drug addicts, as alcoholics, they go for the easy hit of dopamine.

[SPEAKER_00]: So if you create drama in your life for the sake of drama, to get that dope and mean head, you're no different than a fucking drug at it.

[SPEAKER_00]: You just use drama for the sake of drama.

[SPEAKER_00]: And that's from TV shows, Benj and TV shows.

[SPEAKER_00]: So here's other things that we do.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm gonna name a couple more things.

[SPEAKER_00]: You retell a tragedy over and over again to intensify it in your body to release those dopamine hits.

[SPEAKER_00]: What even while you're living in the present moments, people do it in a, they tell the trauma over and over again in the meetings.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I even say, I don't want to retell my story anymore.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's been over 15 and a half years.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not going to do it.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not going to relive it.

[SPEAKER_00]: You know, I don't enjoy telling negative emotions or going into that tragedy just to feel alive.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't go into bad relationships or talk shit about people to feel alive.

[SPEAKER_00]: Gossiping is another form of feeling that negative dopamine hit and false intimacy.

[SPEAKER_00]: So don't talk or gossip about people with other people because that causes also that dopamine hit.

[SPEAKER_00]: So sit in that feeling of apathy, dawn is boredom, and it will regulate itself, and you can get back to normal appreciation for the beauty of life.

[SPEAKER_00]: So I hope this episode helps you.

[SPEAKER_00]: I hope you can get out of the drama.

[SPEAKER_00]: I hope you can get out of the toxicity of the dopamine release of emotional addiction.

[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for listening to Seeker Life podcast.

[SPEAKER_00]: I hope you enjoy this episode.

[SPEAKER_00]: Please reach out if you need any support like people needed for this one and send them to Seeker Life podcast at iCloud.com until next time.

[SPEAKER_00]: Thanks again for listening to the show.

[SPEAKER_00]: Please subscribe, rate, share, or send me a note at secretlifepodcast.com.

[SPEAKER_00]: And if you like to check out my book, head over to secretlifenavel.com or Amazon to pick up a copy for yourself or someone you love.

[SPEAKER_00]: Thanks again.

[SPEAKER_00]: See you soon.