We all want it to ripple beyond just our presence on a stage or on a camera light or when we're formally speaking.

It makes the choices of how we live out our calling easier, because we're like pulling away the grips of what our family and or society has done to us and or society has done to us.

And one of the sentences that fell into my head a little while ago is yes, and when we go on stage, our whole entire life and our whole world is coming with us in our body and, as you know from times I've told stories before, there's like a connection between how free are we willing to be in our lives and that has a ripple effect to when we do go on stage or on camera, and how free we are on stage or on camera also ripples back to life of what is the connection or the relationship between rawness and your good girl, and it may be an inquiry to like sit with longer term and I feel inspired to share.

As you know, there was like Lori's story and then this good girl thing came in and then my story changed a little and it's continuing to become clearer and I'm doing my talk in a week and one of the things that I know.

That is like a bullet point to put in there, no matter how many of my little sub stories I get through.

There's the being seen in the acting class story that you guys have heard many times.

There's a story that I don't always tell of playing a goddess with a mask where, like, the sound of the first words came out like a primal moan and I primal moaned my way to having that character's voice.

And there's a moment in a leadership ropes course where I had a crying birthing tantrum on the side of the tree.

And there's a moment that may get put in there of being the good girl for a lot of my life, going 371 miles away.

I remember seeing the signs on I-5 from my family to go to college, like I got into USC, I got into UCLA, I went to UC Davis because I grew up in Burbank, california, and I knew like I need to go away to find myself.

So it was like a safer feeling school but less safe, more out there because it was further.

And I auditioned for the Crucible.

And there's a character in the Crucible, mary Warren, who's like the meek, least power among the girls.

And then there's Abigail, and Abigail is fiery.

And at one point I was standing in the green room and one of the grad students I said you know, I really want Abigail.

And one of the grad students said, yeah, but you look more like a Mary Warren.

And I had just been in the room auditioning and like embodied Abigail, and the fire came out in the green room.

And this is probably not that surprising to you because you're probably like, yeah, that's the Laurie we know.

But I was more like meek, thought I was overweight, hiding in big, huge t-shirts, mousy brown hair, and I went, yeah, but it's a much more interesting choice for the play if she looks like an angel.

But then she turns the whole fucking society on their head.

Why would you believe someone who looks evil?

And she was like you know shit, you know who is this.

And I ended up getting Abigail.

The doorway to my voice, the doorway to the oneness from that acting exercise, the doorway to the range of characters and the Abigail moment.

Every single time I was going through a doorway of all the things that the world had told me not to be Don't be too wild, don't be too weird, don't be too out there, don't be too emotional, don't take up too much space.

Be logical, be good, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah and don't be too emotional has always been underlying for you.

Growing up, I told the story of some of the fire there's like a fiery self, my fiery, wild woman.

It was all inspired by this belief that I have that, particularly in our Western world, we are given all of the messages of the shoulds so our family, you should be a good girl, you should do this, you should do that, and then we go to school and the school system does the same thing.

So we have two choices that feel blind to me and, like I'm not a neuroscience expert and I was just having a conversation yesterday about how, like, we know things intuitively that eventually science catches up with.

So, with our not fully formed until we're 25 years old on average brains, people are shitting at us and we either blindly follow all of the shitting to be a good girl or good boy, or get the A, or we blindly resist.

Why, like, do you want to blah, blah, blah?

No, why, because you said so, and that's the like, teenage rebellious for the sake of rebellion.

It's like I'm trying to find myself.

You're not helping me find myself and I don't think it's wrong.

I think it's a natural part of the evolution in the society that we currently live in.

And then there is what I'm calling wild woman, because there's a resonance to it.

It's the clearest, strongest, most empowered archetype for me that I'm called to now and that is helping a hell of a lot of people so far.

And I say that so that if you're like I don't respond to wild woman, then choose something else Sovereign, creator, creative soul.

In my coach training, they would do an exercise where you wore a name tag of something that you didn't want to be and you actually went to lunch as the thing that you didn't want to be, as the thing that you didn't want to be, and they drew like a circle and shaded out like if this is the potential of you, and you've got like I'm not allowed to be emotional, not allowed to be wild, not allowed to be unstable, and you're like crossing out all of this stuff in the potential of you that you're afraid to be ever you end up like overshooting it.

So in trying not to ever be too wild or rabid because some people hear the word wild and they're thinking like rabid and I'm like that's not what I mean by the word, and I'm not going to pull back from the word because I think the fear of rabid is like know that rabid and wild are not always the same thing.

Go through the good girl following the rule, breaking rebellious for the sake of rebellion, and then eventually we find our own way without the help that would have been nice.

From like six years old to 25, to who am I really?

My wild woman is my intuitive self, who feels rhythms and the natural world and knows things to be true and doesn't need to be a human being, doesn't need the mind to be able to explain it all to the more left-brained patriarchy.

Good girl I looked it up A deeply ingrained social pattern where individuals believe their worth comes from being agreeable.

I resonate with some parts of that Emot emotions like rage or true desires like it's great if you're happy but if you're really angry.

As a woman, like a primal kind of anger or grief, sometimes avoiding conflict.

I never responded to perfectionism, but I do have like a feeling of good.

I want things to be good, good enough, and I'm wondering who is your good girl?

Who is your good girl?

How did it serve you and what has it cost you and who is your rule breaker.

How did that serve you and what has it cost you?

What has revealed itself about who is your good girl, how it served you and what it cost you?

It feels like the rebellion is.

It's a natural part.

There's nothing wrong with it, and there's probably not even anything wrong with having a good girl or equivalent of like, a good girl or equivalent of like.

What do I do to keep myself safe?

What are the shoulds and what do I do to keep myself safe?

And then learning oh, I don't need that was great, it's a tool that's there if I need it, but I don't want to use that tool anymore because safe is not my highest goal, or I am safe.

I am not in the place that I was now, in this present moment.

So I don't need that.

Physical habit, mental habit, whatever it is.

Physical habit, mental habit, whatever it is.

And there's a difference between healing and emerging.

So, as we're here today, there may be a process of like feeling like we're going, like back down into the dirt in order to heal, and then come back up, emerge again as a different plant, and I feel inspired to say like they don't need to happen.

At the same time sometimes.

Sometimes I feel like in my world they do Something is healed by coming out and being seen, and sometimes it's more like the flower folds for a second and like nourishes and gets stronger and then opens back up.

The next question I want to ask is who is your wild woman like?

Does she have a name?

Is it different than wild woman?

And why?

Like what is calling you to step more into her?

All the reasons and it can start with Like I was intuitively called to it.

There was a resonance when this sentence fell back into my head For the new talk.

There's some kind of an energy there that feels really powerful, like it is calling me forth to the true me, the unstoppable me.

It feels vibrant and alive and like the more I embody her, the more awesome my life, my business, my relationships, my everything are going to be.

My relationships, my everything are going to be.

Who is your wild woman and why step into her?

As uncomfortable as it is, it's like you're choosing that life is happening for you, that there's always.

It's all part of the like coming back home to the unfiltered soul, even though sometimes that's like amazing.

You're in a soulful speaking class and everybody's telling you what they love about you, and sometimes it's like, oh, the universe just put someone in my path or something in my path to grow me, to help me come home, to my unfiltered soul.

So what's next?

Choosing the wild woman choosing to speak from the fire.

The wild woman choosing to speak from the fire when the old thoughts and urges come up, notice them without acting on them and trust that that is the process.

It's like it's being burned off.

It's like reducing wine as you're cooking Nothing to.

Oh God, I had the thought of I really want to price my services to whatever this client needs me to price them to, so that I get to work with.

Oh, there's that thought.

My rate is $6,000.

I'm not doing that behavior, but I'm also not blaming that thought for coming up, because it's coming up.

So we can not choose to act on the old but to act on the new.

Okay,