Hi, Sarah.

Welcome to the Soulful Speaking Podcast.

I'm so excited to have you.

I'm just so pleased to be here and to share this space with you.

Every conversation we have is one that sparks something different inside of me, but also brings some level of enlightenment.

So I'm looking forward to this, friend.

Me too.

Me too.

And I have been on Simply Sarah a couple of times, and Sarah is graciously letting us borrow her recording studio today.

Sarah Stockham is the host of Simply Sarah, a TV show and podcast that supports service-focused leaders with stress-free strategies, mystical inspiration, and real-world tools for leadership and healing.

With over 30 years in education and a deep background in Reiki, she brings wisdom, warmth, and transformation to everything she does.

Ah, thank you again for being here.

Yes, thank you.

This is just good.

And I loved what we did before we hit record, that time of being together and connecting and grounding is such an important piece.

And it's a part that typically the audience doesn't know about or doesn't realize happens, it allows us to come into this space ready to share, knowing that we are in alignment and it's going to be a great conversation.

Yeah.

I would love to start as I start with almost everyone.

Sarah, where did your speaking journey begin?

I was in high school overseas.

My parents worked overseas, and I remember having an assignment, and we had just moved back, and so we'd been here in the States, and I had felt very comfortable.

We'd actually lived here for about three years, and so I had felt really comfortable in the high school that I was in, and you know, I had been on stage and had done um and part of the musicals, and it just had felt good, right?

Had this assignment, and we're supposed to come in, and we have three minutes, we're supposed to have our cards ready and everything.

I walk into class and sit down, and I'm not ready.

Like it hasn't even registered to me that I'm supposed to be doing anything at all.

And people get up, they are seniors, I'm a junior, they completely have their everything perfectly scripted, their cards are immaculate, and I I just flub.

I don't know what else to do.

And remember looking out the window as I'm trying to speak, don't want to have make any eye contact with anybody, and I knew in that moment that things were gonna change for me.

So that's where we began.

How did things change for you after that moment?

I have a beautiful background as being a musician, and so I had been on stage.

I knew my closet for years has been had a lot of black in it because I played piano, though it happened to be for worship services, or if it happened to be for musicals or weddings or funerals or how you kind of name it.

I knew how to be that secondary part that was bringing in part of the emotion for the moment.

Um, and then I became a classroom teacher, and that gave me an opportunity to have my own audience multiple times a day, every single day.

But in there then, it was really as I was we were closing down an elementary school in Southern California, and as a result of that, of low enrollment, uh, we began shifting people around, and they moved me into a space, um, and we did have conversations about it before this happened, that I would move into teaching music, and I had a music background, so it made sense, right, Lori?

But that space of I wasn't a vocalist.

I had I had been in choirs, we had recorded, I had never been a soloist in those particular in college and beyond.

And so for me, that space of how do I show up, and I know that there are important things to do when you stand.

I know there are important things, and as a classroom teacher, you're able to teach and keep moving, right?

When you're in front of a choir, you're not supposed to necessarily be doing that, and then keeping 400 kids focused when we are going to be performing for a sold-out audience just gave me spaces to again look at what I was doing, how I was doing.

Were there ways that I could choose uh tools that would help me to not stutter or get ahead of myself?

Were there ways for me to stay present in what I was doing?

Because you rehearse the day for this big performance, you go home, you're tired, you're hungry, you're supposed to somehow pull it all back in together, and then the evening you have a whole different crew that's there to manage the kids.

So people who've been in the morning are not necessarily the adults who are there in the evening, and so you're walking into a whole different thing.

And how do you keep your energy up?

How do you stay focused beyond having the notes and having the music in order and all those things?

How do you make it all happen?

And so it began uh quite a different trajectory for me in terms of what I was looking for for myself, for that quality of bringing in the emotion, bringing in the right feel, narrating at different times the right feel for what we were wanting the audience to feel.

So moving as from a musician perspective, having lots of black, into needing to be the conductor, being the conductor, being the person who was making sure that all the things were happening as they were supposed to be, had an incredible support team.

Cindy Tier, I will love her the rest of my life for all that she did to make sure that those 400 kids were on stage where they were supposed to be and all that she did to make that happen.

Um, I am also so grateful for her input also in those spaces.

How do you think that early childhood experience influenced you in particular in this experience and perhaps others along the way?

I think that having that experience as a junior in high school was so helpful for me.

And there were other experiences also, but that one was so pivotal for me, and I've never spoken about it until today because of that space of knowing what rock bottom feels like.

I was able to walk out of that class.

I didn't get the grade at the end of the time that I had expected to get, however, I was still alive, right?

And I was at the rock bottom, their only ways to go were up.

And as we did these uh small group critiques in class, um they could say, Hey, this is where you were, and this is where you are now.

And I could feel the embarrassment of where I had been, but I could also feel that yes, we are moving forward, and so super helpful um that to have for me in that space to have that experience and to be able to go, okay, we're still breathing, we're still alive, we're all right.

Um, I don't think anything's gonna ever be worse than that experience of being, you know, in front of a class or in front of an audience teaching.

And so let's just move forward.

What was it in you that had you keep going?

I've talked to a lot of people.

If I'm having a conversation with them, they may have had a rock bottom experience at some point in your in their life and they stopped at that point.

What was it in you that called you forward to keep going?

Laura, that's such a deep question.

And I'm just kind of processing it from different points what that was.

Part of it was the community that I was part of overseas.

Having grown up overseas, um, there weren't a lot of expats there.

And so um we didn't see each other just at school.

We hung out in the evenings together, we did square dancing.

I know that I'm in some ways dating myself, but overseas we held on to things longer perhaps than we did here in America.

Um, things that worked, right, for community.

And so um, there was one part of the community that was incredible at making donuts, and so everybody would be invited over when they did, you know, the big donut thing, all of us would show up.

So I think also there was this this um the adults and the kids who were growing up, uh, we would call them aunt and uncle, even though there was zero blood relationship between us, just out of respect because Mr.

and Mrs.

was way too formal, and because we did so much life together.

And so I think that there was this being part of a community and watching other people, my classmates, not do as well in other things and yet still be okay.

There was this space of movement to we just keep moving forward and we're all right.

And we had gone through a number of really big political upheaval events together at different points, and so there was also this sense of I got your back, we're gonna be okay, we're gonna be together.

So I think that part of that was this underlying having a community that um, even though all of us were jumping in and out of it, because people had different furloughs, people worked for um different agencies, and so not all of us were on the same, which was good for continuity as well.

But I do think that having that space of community um and having the older people there and being able to watch them.

Um I mean, we had people who were just of such high quality.

Um one of them went before the UK Parliament to say, we need a million dollars for this particular project and got it, right?

Sitting on your hands trying to fumble through something and be able to have that kind of uh thing happen.

And so I think also watching people around me working on different things, growing in different ways.

I have two older sisters, both of them were very proficient, not just in school, not just in their writing, but being able to communicate how they wanted to.

I was the one who had the blonde hair, I'm so different than them.

I had them as people who were um people to look up to, right?

And so they were that type of, you know, watching my older siblings because I was the toe head and they came out with black hair from the beginning.

So yeah, so even though you were different than your sisters, there was a community that you belonged to that was really supportive, which is such a blessing anytime, and particularly in high school.

Like I'm just imagining the fork in the road of the direction that this could have gone for you in high school, and instead of having that, you had a supportive, nurturing community with uh people having an impact, people contributing both in the community and in the larger community of humanity that you could follow.

And I think also, I mean, going back to being, I would may have been four or five, there's a recording someplace of um everybody playing um recorders, a wooden flute, um, because it's really, really easy to teach children.

And so there were children, there were adults.

We were way out in we were in the rainforest in Africa for this particular memory.

And I wasn't able to play the recorder yet, and yet they said, Sarah, we need a triangle player.

So, you know, this is where you're going to play the triangle, and so even at four and five, that that whole space of inclusion, right?

We're gonna do this together, but everybody gets to be involved at the level that they're able to be involved in.

And I think that that was really, really pivotal for me as I reflect back at this point in terms of um everybody has something that they can contribute, and maybe it's not gonna be it the same way as everybody else.

But the story that you have to share is really an important story, and the fact that you have survived it is radically important, and the courage that it takes to share, if you just impact just one, it's such an amazing, and you may not even know who the one is, but that space of desiring to have an impact on others.

I think that those are all pieces that have really played into me continuing forward.

Yeah, and then you also shifted from this is a common theme, being sort of in the background, playing music, supporting the stories of people in that way, to then becoming the teacher who's standing in one spot, which is in the center in some ways.

What was it like to make that shift?

That one was a very interesting one.

I came into teaching, being the third and fourth generation, depending on the side of the family of teachers.

And so it was in my blood to teach, and I would get through my lesson, and then you know, I had I had my curriculum and got through it, and then there would still be 10 minutes left of class, and what do you do with that?

And so learning how to fill in such a way that it is supportive of the lesson and maybe has a space for connection with the students or the audience, maybe even asking them how it impacts them or how they connect it to previous learnings.

And so now you begin to have a bit more of a dialogue with the first several times that that happened, I was just a sweaty mess, and I was teaching first grade, right?

And so I don't think that they cared that I was a sweaty mess, but that whole space of the palms of your hands and the stomach just going around, and I hope nobody walks in right now because I finished my lesson and there's still time before recess, and what do we do with that time?

Yeah, again, I hear the the you that keeps going.

Um and the first time we do things, I don't know about you, I was kind of a teacher's pet.

I wasn't kind of a teacher's pet.

I was a straight A student, teacher's pet.

I was used to a lot of things coming easy for me, which then sometimes when I would learn something new, would make me expect it to feel like it did once you've learned it.

And what I hear in your first few times teaching, where there's 10, 15 minutes left at the end of class, is it was new.

So instead of stopping and going somewhere else, you kept going and you went through the sometimes painful, isn't really the uncomfortable, the uncomfortable newness of that in order to get better and in order to serve the students.

One of the things that I, when I later on became a mentor teacher to brand new teachers, is we would share with them a couple things.

One is if you're gonna have a conversation with anybody, parents, children, doesn't matter, have something there, a document, a book, something that you can both be looking at to have a conversation about.

So this now has you have a third party or something else, right?

And the second thing was to new teachers, this feels really uncomfortable.

You're gonna have some part of this that's gonna feel really, really good, whether it's your delivery, whether it's your curriculum, whether it happens to be the timing, the spacing, whatever.

There may be a part that feels uncomfortable with interacting with adults or children, or the somebody who just walks at them in the door and says, Hey, we need to have this, or all of a sudden the middle of this incredible lesson, you have a fire drill.

There's gonna be something that's gonna feel, but once you teach the curriculum five times, you own it.

And now you can change the order, you can change the pacing so much better because you own the curriculum.

And so I think there's something also to be said about that when we do public speaking, but give yourself opportunities to speak, give yourself those uncomfortable moments, and just like what happened for us before we hit record today, there was something that never happened before, and you say, What are our options?

How are we going to move forward with this?

And we did, we moved forward with it, and so I think also that space of internal grace, and I think that also, and I call myself a recovering teacher because I also lived like so many teachers have in the past, um, that you have this state grade, state test that you have to give at the end of the year, and that all your kids need to jump to at least this, whatever.

I mean, when I started teaching in Southern California, we had STUL objectives, S-T-U-L-L, and that was you know, 85% of my students will do, you know, and you just kind of go through 85% of the curriculum, they will test to 80% just all the way through.

And you were looking to have these benchmarks, and at the end of the year, then how you were seen was graded on that.

However, you are teaching, however, you are speaking, however, you are in the space of sales, whatever that is, every single one of us is trying to convince other people of something at almost every single moment.

Whether it happens to be, let's do this for dinner rather than that, whatever it happens to be, there is something behind that that we are desiring some type of end product out of it.

And whether that happens just to be to say, I marked it off, I got the taxes done, I spoke to the tax person, we're done, I can mark it off my list.

Whatever it happens to be, there is an end point that we are looking for.

And I think that becoming really clear what that endpoint is for ourself, it could be a very, very helpful place to be also with that.

But give yourself that space of grace of doing something multiple times and to notice how you are growing in that space.

Yeah, what a wonderful mentor it sounds like you were.

Not only to let them know some parts of it are gonna feel good, some parts of it are not gonna feel so good right away, to remind them.

I have a tendency to just not even notice the parts that look good, the parts that went well.

So the reminder of that, and then the freedom of once you've taught it five times, you own it.

And there's even a musicality in how you talk about that, which I love, that there's a flow, and the way I might teach the exact same lesson plan.

If we give ourselves that kind of freedom, would be very different than the kind you have, and the the kind of class you would teach and the end product, you made me think of two things.

One was I flashed on Brene Brown when she was on something of Oprah's, and she said to someone, this is after she'd been in the arena, as she would put it, for a while, and she was talking to someone else, and she said, You are going to be judged one way or the other.

That's human nature.

So you might as well decide how you want it to go, with a real fiery intensity that I flashed back on.

And I remembered a moment two weeks in a row when I was doing my Fitzmorris voice certification.

And the first time I went in there really had my heart set on Catherine Fitzmorris's son, Saul Kotsube, taking off his glasses and saying, I was very moved by your performance because he did that for a few other people.

I did not get that.

I got raked over the coals in front of everyone.

So the next week I went in, that was for the performance of a one-woman show.

The next week they said, Would you like your feedback publicly or privately?

And I was like, um, I'll take it privately.

Thank you.

And that time I decided pre-Berney Brown, I decided what kind of class I wanted to teach, and was like the imposing panel of five people with Catherine and Saul and somebody from Yale.

They can like it or not like it.

I'm gonna do my thing.

Yes, and completely surrendered, took the feedback privately, and got completely glowed upon and told by even the people from Yale that they were going to steal and credit things that I had done.

And you made me think of that in that moment.

Yeah.

I'm really curious where where else your voice, your speaking has taken you, because now you're a recovering teacher.

So you've gone elsewhere.

Where else have you gone?

So one of the gifts of just following the serendipity of life is that place of knowing that leaving the classroom was going to be difficult, knowing that we were relocating to come help my then 88-year-old mom, who was ready to have people here.

Um, and knowing having these pieces and knowing that I hadn't, I was 58 when I took early retirement.

And even though I'd been in for 35 years, the state of California really would have preferred for me to stay for two more years, if not four more years.

And so I felt like, again, recovering teacher.

I felt like I was leaving, exiting early, right?

And all of the pieces in life were saying, Sarah, now is the time.

Even within the last couple weeks, my husband said to me, and we haven't talked about it for a really long time, said it really was the right decision, and you really were ready to leave.

I just couldn't see it because I couldn't imagine my life not teaching anymore.

I couldn't imagine not being in that space of encouraging people to look at other ways of being able to do things.

So, in that, in the serendipity of life, uh of somebody I met during the shutdown and had taken classes with and had grown to really appreciate her and love her integrity, Julianne McCurris.

She had her own television show and was beginning to have her own, had been offered her own network.

And so E360 TV had said, We love what you are doing, Julianne.

Have your own network.

What do you think?

And so she reached out to several of us and said, Are you interested?

And she'd been watching my work on YouTube, putting little tiny things in.

I was recording them outside at lunchtime and um on my lunch break, and just would have these, you know, spirit moving, and I just oh yeah, I can do that.

And so nothing amazing, but the content was out there, and so she reached out to me and said, Would love to have this conversation.

What do you think?

And I said, I have never done anything like this, and technology and I can become friends, but we're not necessarily friends right off the bat.

And um, I need to have a conversation just with my husband about this, just in terms of what are we thinking it's gonna be like after we relocate?

What is life gonna look like?

Is this wise for me to take on something new?

And he looked at me and said, Absolutely, try it for a year and see if you like it.

What a fabulous off-ramp, right?

Like just so amazing.

And and Julianne went back to Julianne and said, Okay, these are the things that I'm concerned about, things that I can see right now.

I don't know what I don't know, but help me in this process.

And so if you go back and look at, you know, season one, episode one, um, it's Julianne and me talking about how we're having this, you know, new show and she's asking me some questions.

And but the second person I interviewed, um, when people listened to that that week, he um he was in Colorado and Denver area.

He got a call from somebody saying, I want to have want to fly you out to Florida and have you come speak at this group.

And I didn't know this for a while.

And when I heard that, I was like, how amazing that somebody, I don't know who's watching, but somebody heard this, right?

And this person is saying, I want that person, and so since then another person, I don't ask everybody I interview, but one person signed a contract because they were on the show for $10,000 with a client.

Another one is working with somebody, a listener for a full year, the listener paid them $48,000.

I don't know what's happening as a result of that in their lives, but I know that for me, this is gifting me that space of continuing to impact the world for good.

There is so much out there, and there's so much good out there as well.

And having people share their stories and the spaces of hard and how they got through that for me is one of the most enduring pieces of humanity.

How do we how do we keep encouraging each other?

I think it's through listening to stories of other people who've gone through hard, and they go, Oh, if they did it, I'm gonna give it a try.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

And when you were saying you couldn't imagine not teaching, not helping people to consider things from different perspectives, I thought, well, you just found another way of doing that.

You know, it wasn't, it's a different format.

And the you that is supportive and nurturing and helps people look at things from different angles and helps um hold space for people as they leave the nest.

It used to be kids, and now it's become people on your show.

And just like when you teach children, anyone actually, you don't always get to see where it goes.

And every once in a while, when you do, you're getting evidence of synchronicities.

Yes, and then you can know there are for every one of those, there's probably at least 10 more that you're not hearing about, and then another 10 that are coming that haven't even happened yet.

Right, right, yeah, and being in that space, I think also as you are doing, elevating the work that you know, elevating the work that you have done, elevating all of the things you have gone through difficult and have gotten to this place.

You have wisdom, you have things to teach people.

And this space of having your own podcast is another way of reaching so many people, and it's also a space of legacy, um, a space of later on, 50, 100 years from now, people will be listening in.

Listening into how we were talking about voice matters, and I love the title that you've chosen because the voice does matter, but also there are matters of the voice that matter as well.

Um, such a great, great title.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I am I'm curious, what are your wildest dreams for your voice and your legacy?

It's something that I still am processing nearly every day.

What is it that I'm wanting?

Um, I believe in speaking positive into people's lives.

Some might call it a blessing.

Um, and I've had people speak those blessings into me and onto the show.

And the first time that happened, I saw the number 100,000, and I thought, well, that's interesting.

But every single cell of my body was saying 100,000.

And so I thought, we'll do whatever we're gonna do, but okay, if we're supposed to have 100,000 listeners in the first year, great.

And then I had a coach who said, Whatever your goal is, can you do it in half the time?

And I thought, oh, that puts a whole different spin on things.

But going back and looking at that first year, we were at 100,000 within the first six months.

And at the end of the first year, we were at end of the second year, we were at over 380 some thousand people who were listening.

And so our goal for this third year is a million, why not?

Right?

And so we'll see.

I'm not wedded to.

That outcome say that this is successful.

However, I know that our audience continues to grow around the globe.

We have the majority of people listening in America and then Canada, a group listening in Europe, we have Australia, South Africa.

We are opening up India this year.

And so I don't know.

We'll see where it goes.

And I think that as I listen to some of my mentors talk about never retiring, I I'm sensing that as well.

Just turned 60, my mom's 90 and doing great.

I don't know.

We'll see where this goes, but I'm not, I can't imagine not having the desire inside of my heart to help someone else along the way to help their life be better, especially when they're in a hard place.

It's impact and serving and touching that many people's lives.

And I also hear and feel trust radiating off of you from the moment that you left teaching.

Even though, you know, the the world, society gives us these arbitrary, somebody decided that making it until 60, or making it until 62, or making it until 65, you know, they put this thing out there and we get shooted all over.

So there was that, and then there was a part of you feeling this feels right.

I don't know exactly where it's going.

There must be another way.

And that same surrender and trust is in you now to trust that you will reach the right numbers and the right countries and the right people in the right timing.

Yes.

And I think also in the relocation, there was so much unknown.

So for your listeners who are leaning in and saying, okay, Sarah moved across the country, was able to kind of figure this out.

I will share with you that how full my life was before.

People here were like, oh, and now you can't give me sign you up for let's do, and to find that space of saying, wait a minute, I get to choose.

I get to choose.

And no is a complete sentence.

Although we typically will say, no, and here's the reason why.

The timing just isn't right.

It's a great idea, it's a great, but for your listeners to also know that every single speaking engagement isn't necessarily the right, next best one for them to take.

Listen into it, feel into it, make sure that you have the support that you are supposed to have for that.

And I think also the second part is uh when we start something new, that space, this is full circle in our conversation, but the uncomfortability of it, gifting yourself the time to become more comfortable with it.

Sometimes that takes longer than what you think, sometimes it happens very quickly, doesn't matter.

Gift yourself that space and time.

Yeah.

And if it's new, including saying no to something that might have been aligned for us in the past, rather than filling it up and doing it in the way we used to, it's going to feel somewhere between different and uncomfortable and liberating sometimes.

And then when you lean into it and wake up one day and go, oh, this feels really good.

I have found my voice, I have found the audience that resonates, I have found the way to deliver, I have found people who are supporting, sponsorships are paid, however, that is for your audience, right?

But all those different pieces are all are all part of the game.

And I'm so grateful that I still had, I may call it my day job as I was working through some of these pieces, right?

Um beef and I knew that.

I knew that I wouldn't be asking for any sponsorship for at least six months.

This was my choice, but also following that following the the nudge of you need to know what you're doing and which buttons to press as you were doing this.

And that was a really helpful piece for me, also, just to have some of those pieces that I could lean into and know that things were taken care of.

Yeah, yeah.

And the for people out there who are thinking, because I know some people are saying yes to things that they feel like they should or that they used to, and some people are sitting back wondering, I want to speak, and I don't know which one is right, and they're not moving.

So I'm also gonna highlight that Sarah heard her husband when he said, Why don't you try it for a year and see how it feels?

Rather than why don't you sit there and think about whether or not you ever want to do something like this or the other thing.

It's really helpful to have supportive people around us who can mirror back what's going on, back to that community.

And sometimes to take a leap and then to be ready and willing to say, I'm done.

That's not aligned for me anymore.

Yeah.

Yeah.

One of my favorite places to go shopping for things for our garden is a place called Meadow View.

And we they just announced last week that they are closing up shop, they have sold to somebody else.

And I went there today and I prepared myself for this may feel really sad because they've just had the most amazing people there.

I think the next people will as well, who come in to sell in the garden place.

Um, but that space of just acknowledging that all things do come to an end.

She has grandchildren that she wants to spend time with, and she's tired.

Yeah.

To her from making the right decision for her, and the rest of us are going to get it figured out.

Yeah.

I'm I'm very happy that we're hearing stories of women doing that.

Women doing what is right for them, not what they've been told they should.

Exactly.

If our listeners are drawn to you and want to connect with you even more, where can they find you?

SaraStockham.com.

They can also find me at YouTube.

The majority of people who watch Simply Sarah are not on YouTube, but it's an easy one that most people have that app.

The other app where the majority of people watch, either live or on demand, is E360TV.

It's an app that you can get in your preferred place.

And you can find us on Simply Sarah.

And so I look forward to conversations with people.

If this has touched their heart, um, would love to hear from them.

Wonderful.

And now it's time to slide into our Pivot pivot.

Yes.

Do your best to answer with one word or a short phrase.

Yes.

What is your favorite word?

Possibility.

What is your least favorite word?

Don't.

What turns you on creatively, spiritually, or emotionally?

Nature.

What turns you off?

Dense energy.

What's your favorite cuss word?

George.

Literally.

What sound or noise do you love?

The sound of a cat purring.

What sound or noise do you hate?

Intense, loud screeching.

What profession other than the ones you've already done would be fun to try?

Brain surgeon.

What profession would you not like to do?

Snap beans for a living.

And Sarah, what do you hope people say about you on your 100th birthday?

She embraced life.

I have a fondness for that one.

Thank you so much for allowing our lives to touch and coming here to be on my show.

I've enjoyed all of our conversations, and I look forward to many more in the future.

I do too.

Thank you so much, Lori.

And your audience is gifted with getting to listen to you and to lean into what you are sharing.

And I um just find our time to be together to be so good.

And I'm just so grateful for you.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

And listeners, go connect with Sarah, follow her.

And if this episode has touched you in some way, please share it with a friend.

Rate us, like us, all the things so that more of the people out there who would love to hear Sarah's story and other guest stories can find us.