Dating questions?

Me giving dating advice?

Yes, me giving stay in relationship and choose a good, viable partner for the long haul.

No.

Can people give advice that are not good at the thing themselves?

Yes?

Did I write a book called I Suck at Relationships so you don't have to?

Yes?

So can I get a guy?

Can I get the guy bag, the guy bag, the elephant?

Yes?

Have men bought me gorgeous gifts and worshiped me and treated me like a princess and wanted to marry me over and over and over again.

Am I good in bed?

Yes?

Doesn't mean I'm an expert.

Doesn't mean I'm giving stay married for thirty years advice that is not me.

You can ask me, but you'd be a fool.

But it also doesn't mean that a person who can do it themselves, or hasn't been able to do it themselves, or is blind when it comes to themselves can't give advice.

Thank you, you're welcome.

Is it ever okay to text your ex's new girlfriend asking for a friend.

No, this is psychotic, This is sociopath This is insane, This is giving disperado mental No, how do you know the difference between love bombing and actual enthusiasm.

It's disproportionate to what's going on.

You first meet someone, they're a stranger.

After the first date, they're still a stranger.

After the third date, they're an acquaintance.

Doesn't matter if their penis has been inside your vagina.

You still don't know them.

You don't know how they operate, function, morals, values, kids, therapy, money, politics, parents, where they're going to live, private school or public all the things.

Okay, no, you don't know.

So they are a stranger.

So if there is a disproportionate way that they are doting on you, assigning to you, you need to know it.

And you could be a love bomber.

You could be a love bomb receiver.

You could love it because you're so needy and desperate and in a low point and insecure that you just want to absorb it.

But it's not real and it won't work.

It has to be layered in and you have to get to a certain age to realize this.

So learn from other people's mistakes, because I've been there, and you want someone and like them and they're hot and whatever, and it crashes and it burns because it's not based on reality.

It is frosting, no cake.

It is a house with gorgeous drapes and no foundation.

You cannot get to a trusting place with someone until you get to a trusting place with someone.

So yes, in the beginning, you would be infatuated.

You could have the oxytocin, you could have the endorphins going, all of it.

But no, it is not real.

You don't need to put twenty five pounds of shit in a five pound bag and do everything right away.

If a guy says he's emotionally unavailable, he's not interested in you at this time.

You can't change that.

That will not change now.

If he met the right person, he'd become completely emotionally available.

So piece the fuck out, Do not go for scraps.

Do not be a beggar.

You could be in love with him.

Keep it to yourself.

Look hot, glow up, do what you gotta do.

If he wants you, he'll find you.

Do not waste time.

Do I think ghosting is worse than bread crumbing.

No, ghosting is better than bread crumbing.

When he's feeling low and he texts you, he knows that you're still there, right there, nipping at the bottom of the hook to the little piece of bread because you're a desperado.

You do not tolerate bread crumbing whatsoever.

You know what the ironic thing is, you get bread crumbed, you ghost and I don't know what coward behavior is.

Ghosting is usually based on something where the guy doesn't owe you anything you decided.

He owes you something you decided because you made out with him, because that night was fun, because you decided to sleep with him with your body and your choice, which is difficult, so difficult that it's hard for me to tell my daughter and her friends how to navigate this in the future because adults have a problem with it.

That being said, just because you did something doesn't mean someone owes you something.

If you've been dating someone for three months and they don't call you one day, they are a sociopath.

But ghosting is overused by people who are sad that someone didn't act the way that they wanted them to act, based on false promises when you were drinking, when you were out, when everyone was feeling the fantasy of we're going to have this together, We're going to do that.

Oh my god, let's go there, let's go.

I want you to meet my mom we're going to do it.

Yes, we should go there together.

None of it's true.

None of it's true.

So you have to wait, You have to be patient, you have to stick with it, and something can become something, but you cannot rush what it is.

And in the very beginning, the person is a stranger.

And if they don't call you because they were super nice to you and pretended they were in love with you, it isn't really ghosting.

It's the fact that they're a man.

It's the fact that they're immature.

It's the fact that they were feeling it in the moment and they change their mind the next day.

It's the fact that they have five other things going.

It's the fact that they're good compartmentalizers and they can easily have an affair and with their wife act like they're madly in love and the best family guy ever, because they're super charming, and they can say to you on a date night out, how beautiful you look and how they can't wait to get together with you and have Fourth of July plans and meet your parents, and then the next day they can forget you ever existed.

They're missing an emotional chip that we have, so breadcrumbing and ghosting both suck, but know the definition of both and tolerate none.

But ghosting is ghosting.

It's over.

Someone doesn't talk to you, they don't want to talk to you.

Someone wants to talk to you, they want to talk to you.

That's so easy.

You put a pair of shoes on, it doesn't fit, it gives you blisters, Do not buy it.

Toss it to the side or at your house.

You wear them and it rubs and it hurts.

Get rid of it.

Somebody is not acting in a way that's absolutely rational and normal.

Piece the fuck out, or if you're at a certain point, you can express yourself on a confident, secure way what you will or won't tolerate.

Let's see what they do.

That's completely mature.

That's not immature.

Just to sit there and like wait to see.

Oh, but he did, but he texted me.

But he did do that.

He brought me one flower last time, though, so it's weird that he's not.

It's not weird.

He could bring you one flower.

He can also ghost you.

None of this is weird.

And also, there are many selfish pieces of shit out there, so don't assume somebody something that you assign on them.

They could all be pieces of shit.

You could be dating five pieces of shit at the same time.

So dump the pile of shit and hopefully you'll get one good fish on the line.

Men in their fifties are they're a different breed of dating.

Okay, I've been through all the errors of dating sadly, but truly, men in their fifties fit into two categories.

Okay, one is bread crumbing.

They bread crumb.

They like you, They send messages, they want penpals.

They lob a call, not a call.

There's never a call.

They're like infants with calling.

They've completely lost their entire sense of communication skills because they have been married, they've been working the corporate ladder.

They've had to deal with their kids and activities and vacations and the sports and the wife and the this, and like all they do is just like run on the same program all the time.

They're almost like robots.

They're in the same whole program, and they don't have any capability of working to communicate or connect because they've totally disconnected.

Presumably their wives have done everything, handled everything, and they just really have like disconnected emotionally, so they have no ability to date and really like connect on any version of an emotional level.

And I've seen this with like ten guys.

And so they'll send you a text, hey, how are you doing.

You're like, I'm doing great, how are you?

And then you may not hear from them again, and then there could be like a little back and forth and then you might see them.

But it's like they literally want pempals and you have to tell them to get the fuck out of here, and they won't even notice if you did.

They won't even notice if you ignore them.

They won't be like, is everything okay?

Because they're disconnected.

They don't care.

They're fucking bread crumbers, and it's so for the birds.

The bread crumbs are for the birds, okay.

But the other men in their fifties trait and habits being a love bomber.

They're insecure pussies who have also been married and their relationship people.

They need to be in a relationship.

So the minute they meet you, if they like you at all, they want to chea, pet you and take you to a ten and like all of a sudden, you're instant relationship.

But like nothing that's actually gone on has supported that you're already in a relationship.

Like it's like they want to put the frosting on the cake when there's no cake.

They want to put the drapes on the house when there's no foundation to the house.

Like what are you doing?

Why are you facetiming met after us meeting one night and connecting?

Like why are you facetiming me with no clothes?

Why are you sending me a picture of yourself every day?

And why are you sending me pictures of your kids?

Why you saying high beautiful be Why are you saying how gorgeous my eyes are?

I don't fucking know you.

You're a stranger and you're freaking me out.

And the ick is at a twenty and the bread crumb is ick.

Also, it's just a different The bread crumb is fuck you, the love bomb is dick.

I don't care.

I'd rather be single for the rest of my life than date a breadcrumber or a pen pallor get out of here.

So the other thing about Lauren and Jeff Bezos as far as dating, is like he who makes the gold, makes the rules, he's running the program, like he's the one who has the public company, the hundreds of billions of dollars.

And while a woman having a certain amount of power in a relationship and holding in many cases the sexual bank account, the relationship to a big billionaire, powerhouse guy has to be I've spoken to enough people about this has to be that the woman has made him her king.

It's really his program.

There are some categories that she gets to be in charge of, but ultimately he's the king.

He's in charge.

Don't fucking forget it for a minute, okay, And you have to sort of be in that role.

There is a role that you're performing in because he's the big swinging dick and she has to travel with him, be there, support him, treat him like a king, and that has to be something that would be okay with you.

And I don't think that I would be good at that.

You know, I would not be good at being a member of the royal family.

I would not be good at being with a billionaire type that like has to be in control and it's his program and we're like just traveling around and my kids have to get on the program and I just have to like do what he wants me to do, and not in a controlling way.

He could be a lovely, wonderful person.

It could be the greatest life of all time, and it could be the best program ever, by the way, But you know, the best program, ladies, is our own and you make your own money and you get to make your own rules.

So that's just something that I've noticed in these types of dynamics.

In meeting enough sports team owners wives, in meeting enough billionaires wives, they all tell me there are many rules that they really need to abide by because of the public nature of their husband's businesses, and they can't just say what they want.

They're not allowed to be outspoken.

They kind of have to play by a rule book, a playbook, and I don't think that I'd be very good at that.

So the other day I did a post about men in their fifties, basically saying that they are the worst era to date.

And I've been through all the eras except for like the ninety eighty and seventy or one hundred.

But the fifties, men have been married, have made a little dough, have a job, a career, have like I said, some money, work out, they've had a glow up like Jeff Bezos adjacent.

They might have a sports car, they have children.

They've been used to being married and planning trips and transacting and being doctor hero by going in the morning to the sports practices or going on the weekend to the club volleyball.

And they think they're mister Dad, et cetera, because they're good dads and they're very involved dads.

But their wives have done mostly everything in the relationship and taken care of most things, and the men have been in like the Austin Powers freezer.

They've been frozen in time and they have no ability to emotionally connect.

So they want a fucking pen pal.

So they lob in these texts, how's your day, how's it going, love to see you, want to get together, blah blah blah.

But then you either get together or you're just texting with them, and they want a fucking pen pal.

They lobbed the call.

You respond in a very normal way like I'm doing great, how are you?

And then you could like not from them for a couple of hours, or you could go out with them and not hear from them for a couple of days.

And I had shown my friend like ten examples of this, like ten examples of very engaged, interested people in their fifties that just check the fuck out and dissolve like a balloon floating, and they think that we think they're hot shot cool.

Like it's one thing if you're like a bro in your thirties doing that, and that's different, Like you're kind of sleeping with a girl and you get drunk and you have fun and like you're that dick.

But like being your fifties, people are like, are you an infant?

Do you suck your thumb?

You fucking loser, Like we think they're the biggest losers.

And after I posted a post about this, women like and women on TV and famous women and normal women and men and famous men and men that I know and men that I've dated, reached out in droves, Like I got so many texts like wait, I think this is me?

Or is this me?

Or I'm not like that?

Such defensiveness.

One man, Hey, how you doing?

Are you in X City?

And I'm like, no, I'm not, How are you anyway?

Are you texting me as a single man or a merryman?

Dissolve Like there's that too, that's the scumbag adjacent version, But like these guys are losers and they think we think they're cool.

And the guy that sent it to me and said he thought it was him, who is like a good looking guy and his successful guy.

I said to him, no, we don't think you're cool.

We think you're losers, and we want to piece the fuck out.

And we also only tolerate it for a certain period of time because we're bored too, and we're like not dealing with it.

But the minute we realize or we have something better, we're piecing the fuck out because we think you're losers also, And you are hanging out with those girls who are dangling there waiting for a Chanelle bag.

You don't even realize that you don't respect those women.

How could you respect a woman who's willing to accept a pen pal?

Like?

What do better?

I guarantee Laurence Sanchez didn't accept a pen pal.

And the other one is a love bomber.

That's the other needy motherfucker that's in their fifties.

It's the opposite.

That's the guy who also has been in a relationship and been married and is sucking his thumb and so needy because he can't be alone for a minute.

Someone has dealt with everything for him and whether he was cheating or not.

He liked the feeling of just having someone for the holidays when he felt low.

When you know, it's the scraps, it's the Sunday night, it's after the golf game, it's after he's dehydra he doesn't feel well, he's played golf and he wants someone to cook him a meal, or he's hung over and he just wants to lay in bed and like treat his wife nicely, or it's the vacation, or like I said, you know that shit.

That guy then clings on to the next person in a disproportionate way to what's going on.

That's the guy that will look just out of nowhere just FaceTime you when you didn't even like agree to, like, Hi, I'm facetiming you now, would you like to FaceTime someone just lobbing in a facetiming you out of your fucking mind, you sociopath.

Or they're sending you pictures of them like shirtless pictures are in a bathing suit, or pictures of their kids when you basically don't even know them.

You're like, you're a love bomber weirdo.

That's strange too.

We don't trust that you're so beautiful you're stunning, or like, what do you have a fever you coming town with like fucking bird flu.

Relax, I'm a woman over fifty.

Like, I'm not stunning.

Take it easy.

I look pretty good, but relax with the fucking staggeringly stunning