Straw Hut Media.

Cheers.

My cheesm.

Was a big sip.

Well delicious, not as delicious as your kiss.

I mean, I'm waiting for a kiss and you're just sipping and sipping it.

Nineteen forty two.

We're drinking Don Julio in nineteen forty two, which is a very special, special favorite tequila of virus and it's delicious.

Pour yourself a glass of your finest tequila or whatever you drink from straw Hut Media.

This is Tequila Talk with Daisy Pointes and Richard Mox.

It was delicious and it's also a follow up.

Usually we have our tequila and we record Tequila Talk just prior to dinner, but tonight we're doing it just post dinner.

And I want to give a shout out to massa veggie Takarilla ooh, which is uh in Topanga, California.

Yeah.

It was really good, really good.

It's it's vegan Mexican food.

Yeah, it was really good, so that you had like a bowl like a taco bowl.

It was a cheesy taco bowl with rice and beans and impossible with impossible taco meat, and it was delicious.

And I had a jackfruit burrito that was like a spicy It was really spicy.

I take yours and it was so good way to go, which reminds me.

I've been watching some of the episodes of Hot Ones on YouTube, h and I know you did your own deep dive into that.

Do you think you could do that interview with the hot sauces?

So let me just explained to people who haven't seen it.

It's a show called Hot Ones and it's really it's been on for years and it's become very popular and a less celebrities go on there to promote whatever they're going to promote, and you know, you do an interview, but you have hot sauces lined up and you.

Take a bite that get progressively hotter.

Right from hot to like, you know, blow your head off at the end.

And do you think you could do that?

I don't know.

Your your buredo reminded me of that because I took one bite and I'm like, I don't know how many I could.

I'll tell you why.

I mean, I don't think I could just sail through it like some people like name dropping.

But Dave Grohl, who.

You were talking to him just prior to him going on there, and he kind of.

Prepped for it, didn't he trained for it.

So I had lunch with Dave girl about a month a month ago, and we met at a Mexican place in la which is famous and if you saw the movie Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, there's even a whole scene there and it's called Casa Vega.

And he brought me.

First of all, Dave Grohl is a He's known within food fighters fans particularly, almost as much for his barbecuing skills as his musicianship, right, And he's a phenomen He's one of the most talented people I've ever met in my life.

And I really really liked the guy.

I really like him, and we laugh a lot together.

And he sent you home with his hot thought barbecue sauce.

He brought me some of his homemade barbecues.

It was so good, and it was cool because he he said, I don't you know, I don't know.

One thing I don't know about you yet is what your tolerance is.

So he made it more sweet and I said, well, and by the way, it was phenomenous.

Drank the whole Mason jar in a matter of like two days.

Yeah, I put it on everything.

Yeah, but I like spicy, Like I can take spicy more than you I think, even which is weird.

I love spicy, but I just get really ugly with my eyes start tearing, my nose starts running, I.

Start sweating a little bit.

There was the one with Rob Low where he's interest in sweat by the end of the episode.

But do you get through it?

Yeah?

Yeah, So the answer is it would be interesting.

I don't he's I don't think he's ever had anyone on who didn't eat chicken wings.

Yeah he has.

He's had Billie Eilish who's vegan and she had vegan nuggets.

Oh so yeah, if they asked me, I would do it.

Yeah, I would do it.

But I think it was Rob.

I think it was Rob Low who at one point like seven or eight sauces in was like, this is can't be good for us, this can't be a healthy thing, Like it's burning our insides out.

I think I could get past the the throat and the inner mouth burning.

What I would worry about my lips, Yeah, because you tend you just instinctively lick your lips and then you're fucked.

Yes, And people were like sometimes we'll go touch their hair by their face or face.

To your ey Yeah.

He's always does be careful with your face, don't touch your face.

Yeah.

So yeah, Dave Grohl, uh, I think two days later sent me a picture of a hot sauce called pucker Butt and he went, I'm doing hot ones and I'm in training and he was having some every day.

Yeah, and he You got to watch Dave's episode of hot Ones because it's hilarious and he's one of the few people who he brought whiskey, so that for every hot sauce they had to do really had to be a shot.

I would do the same thing with tequila.

Wow, if I do ones, not that they're asking me, but if I did, I would say, I'm going to bring some really nice tequila.

And that guy Sean, who's from my neck of the woods in Illinois, uh, I would get him hammered and he's only fair.

I think the more I drank, the easier it would be for me to sustain it.

Here's the thing with with hot sauce anything, especially when it's super super spicy hot.

Anything that you drink is going to enhance it other than you know, like a creamy milk type of situation or like a yogurt type of situation.

If you have water, if you have beer, if you have alcohol, it's going to enhance it.

You feel it really.

Immediate blitz that I don't mind, you'll mind.

Maybe I would just start crying.

I've seen a lot of people kind of just bite some ice and that seems to alleviate the spiciness.

I think it's a genius concept actually, and I enjoy I did go down a YouTube rabbit hole, yeah, really quickly before we leave this.

I wasn't planning on talking about this, but you mentioned Dave Grohl.

We lost Taylor Hawkins, the drummer from Foo Fighters.

I think I'm pretty sure.

I mentioned a couple episodes ago.

I even played a little clip of the song from my album that's coming up, and he played drums on a song called Shame on You that's going to be on my next album.

Taylor and I met about eight years ago through Dave, and it was just instant comfortable.

It was instantly comfortable.

He was so warm and kind, and it's such a sweet guy and a monster talent, not just a monster drummer, but a really good singer songwriter.

He was.

He did all these side projects away from the Foo Fighters.

He was playing me some tracks that he was working on when we worked together, and he played drums on my record a month ago.

And and we ran into him and that.

The next night.

He said something that night that I'll always remember.

The last time I saw him.

We ran.

We were with some friends and we took them to dinner in Malibu, and we ran and we walked in there as Taylor and his wife Alison.

Sitting at the bar, and immediately, you know, started Actually, she looked at me, She's like, you look familiar, and she looked familiar to And I hadn't seen Taylor yet because he was still turned to the bar, so we still going, oh, I don't know to what do I know you from?

And then he turned around and saw you walking up and I recognized him at the same time, and I was like, oh, it's you guys.

It was just the sweetest moment.

And they're just such sweet It's such a sweet, lovely couple.

And yes, my heart breaks because he's such a talent and such a sweetheart, but I can't help but think of his kids and his family, his wife, and they just seem like such a sweet couple and so young and vibrant and in love, and it's heartbreaking.

It's I don't know what I would do.

I just my heart goes out to her and to his kids.

It's just heartbreaking.

But I will remember actually my laughter with him.

We laughed and we would just completely nerd out about bands that we loved.

And but that night I introduced him to our friends and when he and I hugged, our friend, Katie said, oh, you guys are friends, and I went yeah, and he and Taylor turned to her and he said, we're not just friends, we're friends who make music together.

And that's even cooler.

That's beautiful, and like that's the that's one of the last things he said to me.

Like, what a wonderful thing to take with you.

And I feel like we all need to say those things to each other.

Poside died.

When Taylor died, I sent and received quite a few texts to people and from people who I love, who I don't talk to that much or see that much.

I'm pretty good.

We've talked about this on the show before.

I'm I'm pretty good at keeping in touch with people.

You really are, But we're all bad at it.

If we have a busy life.

Sure, you just it's and you get busy and caught up.

And you know, my best friend, my lifelong best friend, Fee Wayville, he knew Taylor a little bit and he texted me the day after Taylor died and he said, Ricky always He's always called me Ricky, Ricky boy, he texted me, he said, Ricky boy.

This thing with Taylor is just another wake up call.

I don't see you enough, I don't hang with you enough.

You're my brother, and when can I see you?

And I was just leaving for the road, so I'm having I'm spending the day with fee on this coming Thursday.

Great.

And it's kind of a drag that it takes tragedy to wake us up.

Yeah, but we the truth is that we all need to use all of these wake up calls.

Yeah, we need to use them.

Ex remind us of our mortality and what you want to leave people with.

You know, everybody talks about the big picture and they talk about like, oh, what's your legacy want it going to be?

What do you want to leave behind?

How do you want people to remember you?

And I really don't think that that's important.

People like you have left you know so much great music that will be remembered, and that will people can always play forever.

But for most of us, once we go, what you leave behind is the people who you've touched, the people who you love, and things like what Taylor said to you, And it just we should all say goodbye to the people who we love like we're never going to see them again.

Yeah, because you may not one day.

You won't, I know.

But it's a tough it's a tough thing to maintain because just we as human beings, especially in this era.

That's a beautiful thought.

And yes we should.

I just I get why we don't.

I do get why we don't.

I just want to work harder.

But you do.

Actually, because I hear you on the phone with your friends and people you hang up, you all tell each other you love each other, which is one like for men to be affectionate with men and to let each other know how much you love them and how much they mean to you.

You have the type of friends, male friends who do that.

One hundred percent.

But I got that from my dad.

Yeah, And I think beautiful, and I.

Think that I've just instinctively sought out other men who are comfortable with that.

So every dude who I'm great pals with, and even the people I'm acquaintance some people some guys I'm just acquaintances with, we hug each other, yeah, and we we always say I love you man, or you know, even in texts, love you dude or love you bro.

And then there are certain people who you go it's the difference between love you bud or love you dude versus I love you.

Yeah, there's a.

Way, but it's still all about love.

It's still about letting people like love you.

I don't like.

I know we're not as close were We may be new friends, we may be acquaintances, but you know, I love everything I know about you, like I just I love spending time with you.

And that needs to be said because I think the older we get, the more insecure we get with you know, making friends, and sometimes we feel like we're taking up too much time or we're being a nuisance to people or they already have their friends.

And I think that when you do meet new friends, even if you don't know them as well as the friends who you have years of history with, yeah, it's important to let them know, Oh my god, I love hanging out with you, like, I just love your energy and it instantly creates a.

Little bit of a bond, just like me and Corbett.

Yeah, you know.

I mean, I have a collection of male friends for decades who I maintain relationships with.

I have a really great group of friends that range from really good acquaintances and people that I love to hang out with who I don't necessarily it's not like a daily or weekly interaction to guys who were like the brothers that I never had.

Yeah, and so I don't really need or seek out new friendships.

In fact, it's difficult for me sometimes with we've talked.

We talked about I'm sure we talked about John Corbett on this on the podcast.

We met him last year and it was the first time in a long time where we just clicked within an hour.

I knew instantly that you guys were going to be good buddies, and we should say, we should remind people.

You guys we were on a flight.

We were on a private flight to an event in Switzerland.

Yeah, and I know Bo a little bit, so we instantly like said hello, and we were sitting next to each other.

But you guys, from the very moment you said hello to each other and started talking.

Yeah, I was like, oh my god, these guys they are just like long loss like that.

Yeah, we were looking at each other like we're really good friends already, right, And then sometimes you think, okay, well it's a time and place we're going on this trip.

And we did spend a lot of time together in that day.

And I think that that's what connects people.

It was like that flight was what ten hours?

Yeah, so on a ten hour flight, we spent the whole time talking and I mean we slept a little bit, but yeah, by the time we landed, it's like we're all better friends, you know.

But beyond that trip, coming back home to your lives, it's very easy to just sort of carry on and maybe once in a while go hey, Merry Christmas or whatever.

Right, Corbett and I started, we maintained a We've hung out, we text each other or call each other a lot, and he's my friend, Like I love him, I really care about him.

I would be there for him in any circumstance, and I feel that he would be the same with me, Like if I needed him or if something happened and I needed a friend, he would drop everything and he would be there for me.

And obviously I don't know him the way you do.

You spend a lot more time with him, But I've spent some time with Corbett and with you.

Yeah, and he just feels like one of these guys that I've known my entire life.

Feels like like a guy went to high school with.

Yeah, where instantly there are no walls up.

It's so comfortable, it's so comfortable.

It's so funny, fucking funny.

Yeah, it's fun.

To be with.

Yeah, Like there are people who you know, who are wonderful people and kind people, but then there are people who are those things but fun.

And he is so much fun.

And he's of course married to the beautiful legendary Bo Derek.

Every once in a while when we're together, I twelve year old me or fourteen old me or whatever, it's like, oh my god, I can't believe, or I'm sitting here with Bo Derek.

Yeah, yeah, Yeah, she's absolutely stunning and between five year old me.

Yeah, I can't believe I'm married to Daisy f.

I love you.

We'll be right back after this short break anyway.

Yeah, we kind of drifted off into the friendship thing.

And I I'm terribly sad to the Tailor's gone because we were just becoming pals and he I think he would have been another one who I would hold deer and that.

But he's our neighbor.

He was our neighbor.

Yeah, And he was our neighbor, you know.

And he loved you with a wonderful gift music and with beautiful, beautiful words that you'll always remember the last thing that he said to you, which is so beautiful.

Yeah, it's just so sweet.

So that happened on a Friday night, two Fridays ago, and I was leaving I think the next day to go on the road.

We were in Miami when when wet, and it was the next day or two that I started touring again, going back on the road.

And I just need to spend a few minutes on this.

I'm not someone who needs to be reminded to be grateful.

I've talked almost to the point of nauseating, like nauseatingly about how grateful I am to do what I do, and that it's only become more important and precious to me as I've gotten older, and that the people continue to come to my shows.

But being away from that experience, that communal bond that an artist has with his audience for two years and change.

Coming back to it in the way that I did in this last ten days has been euphoric.

And I'm still I just got home a couple of days ago.

I'm still floating on that.

I still feel tingly from it.

The shows in Florida where you got to come to a couple of them or one.

Of them, Yeah, I went to the one in Fort Laudadale with all our friends.

Everybody who we knew from Miami was there.

And that audience was insane.

It was wonderful, so fun, so much fun.

And then I did a couple of other shows in Florida, and then I went to Kentucky, and then I ended this run with three nights at a legendary theater in Nashville, just outside of Nashville called the Franklin Theater in fin Tennessee, and it's a place I wanted to play for a long time.

So the shows were just so much fun.

And I got to see you couldn't go because you had work to do, but and that really bummed me out.

But I got to see some friends who lived there Peter Frampton and Vince Gill, Yeah, Jimmy Harnan and Alison Jones and all these people who I've developed friendships with over the years, and it was just so joyful for me for sure, but I could tell that audiences are so grateful as well to be back going and listening to people perform and watching people perform.

And there was so much laughter and just pure joy at that bond that audiences have with a performer.

It was next level.

Well, your bond with your audience in your shows, especially your one man shows.

Yeah, which is what this was.

Yeah, your solo shows are unlike anything that I've ever seen that you really connect with your audience.

It's the you tell stories, the attention from your audience, and the way that they leave almost you for work as well.

Yeah, you know, like they've just seen one of the best shows of their entire lives.

And they all say it.

They all say it.

The the comments are really wonderful.

It's been incredible to read what people post and you know, their comments and.

One of the little little what's the right word for it.

One of the things that has happened in this last week that has happened occasionally over the years, is I'll sneak in a new song or two.

I'm a performer who generally just does the songs that people know.

I do the hits.

Well, you have too many hits.

You have so many hits, you really can't fit it into two hours.

I am so blessed to look down at a set list that's full of songs that people know.

I've been really blessed in my career to have had, you know, a multiple hit songs.

But I'm still very much an active songwriter, and I'm putting out a new album, as I mentioned, And so I thought, you know, I don't want to overload a show with new material because that's not what people want to I go to concerts too, and that's not what I want to hear, no matter who, no matter how much I love somebody's work, I want to hear what I know.

Yeah, you want to sing along, I'll totally.

Stand for a few new songs, but that's it.

So I only do two new songs, but I do them back to back.

And I finally said to the audience, like the third night, the reaction to these songs was so palpably incredible, really incredible, that I finally want like the third night, instead of just saying I can't thank you guys enough, I can't thank you guys, because the applause was like extended and people were cheering these new songs.

And finally, like three nights in, I said, you, guys, I need to tell you something.

To play a song or two songs for an audience that you know going in they have never heard before, and for you to respond that way.

That's why I keep writing songs.

That's the muse.

That's why I'm still inspired and still want to create because I could easily, like most performance, I could just just play my heads for the rest of my life and not think about new songs.

But writing is and creating new things is a big part of who I am.

It's like you can't help it.

You go on a hike and you come back with a new song in your head.

It's true.

I do write a lot on it, so you have to put it out, but I just can't again.

Gratitude, Gratitude, gratitude.

Incredible last ten days, culminating with playing three songs at the Grand ole Opry on last Saturday night.

The video that I saw from the Grand all Opery was breath.

Holy shit, it was again like, that's not where I would normally play.

I've made my Opry debut.

You were there with Rosanna and Bernie five years.

Ago, I guess, yeah.

And the legendary venue.

Legendary venue.

When you're asked to play at the Opry, it's kind of like every country singer's dream.

It's the thing to do.

You just wait until you're invited to play.

Career for non country artists to get asked to be there.

But in fairness, you've written a lot of country hoods, and I think it's very Yeah, it is, it's a big part of it.

I've spent a lot of time in Nashville.

I've worked with countless country artists.

I grew up as much on Merle Haggard and Will and Jennings as I did the Doobie Brothers and Elton John.

And you can hear that.

It's you can hear that influence.

Great admiration and respect for for the for the history of country music.

But still you never know, Like I was on a bill on that last Saturday night with some country legends and again you just never know.

Well, they were like it's like they adopted me.

They sang along with every song, well not every song.

I only did.

Everybody at the Oprya, by the way, only does three songs.

And so I was I was gonna do three hits.

I was gonna do MDS Summer Nights, Don't Mean Nothing, and right here waiting and at five minutes before I walked on the stage, I thought, I don't I'm going to do this silly, funny country song that I wrote, and I swapped out and the Summer Nights for that.

So I did Don't Mean Nothing.

And then I did this this country song called how Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away, which.

Is such a great song.

I can I believe you've never recorded because every time you play it live, the reaction is because it's live.

It doesn't work on a recording.

But people can play for other people and sing along to it.

It's a great karaoke song.

It's a great sing.

Along unless I released a live version of it, because you got to hear the audience cracking up.

It is Also it's a great TikTok and and Instagram Yeah song, maybe one hundred percent.

You need to put it out there.

It is so funny and so clever.

It's just a goof it is, but it's great, Like loved it.

Yeah, and then I started to do writing waiting and they sang every word louder than I could have sung it, and it was just and so this I'm still flying from this last week.

I cannot even imagine.

Yeah, I'm really really grateful.

So anybody out there listening who came to any of the shows or was in Nashville or thank you.

You have the best bands I do.

They're loyal, they are hardcore, they're real music people, and they just love you.

And you can see it.

One of my favorite things to do.

Yes, I love watching you from the audience, but I also love watching you from side stage, from backstage, where I can see the audience.

I see the reaction, I see the intensity in their listening and their focus and the connection.

And that's a beautiful thing to see that not many people get to see it from that from that perspective, right.

And the other thing that was kind of interesting and worth talking about is that, for the first time in years, you and I were apart for a week.

Yes, it was just a week.

It was horrible.

It's horrible.

Even though I was having some experiences that were so like I can't I'm just belaboring it.

Practically, I'm just the euphoria of what I experienced was muted because I was just telling you about it and I wasn't sharing it with you.

I love that after all these years, you still feel that, and you feel the excitement, and you feel you know, you look forward to it, and you come out of it as if it was the first time you'd experienced that, when the truth is that what you have experienced, especially in the beginning of your career, when you were having number one hit after number one hit and you were in your twenties, that's something that very few people in the world get to experience.

And for you, two over thirty years later, still feel the way you do and have an experience on stage with your audience move you the way it does because it makes you emotional.

That's so beautiful, and that's something that I'm so glad you've never lost.

No, I haven't become jaded by it, if anything, Like I said, I've only become more appreciative of it.

But what I've experienced over the last seven years is having that excitement and that just overwhelming gratitude and then walking off the stage into your arms hold.

It's literally holding out a martini for yes, or filming me coming off stage, and then we're off to dinner somewhere.

And because you've been with me on the road so much, and anyway, the point is when I realized that you had stuff to do and you couldn't go on this last week trip with me, there was a little part of me it was like, Okay, I'm going to make the most of this.

Like I like to be.

Alone, yeah, we both do.

We do both enjoy it being all alone time.

Yeah.

And we carve out our alone time even when we're just in the house together.

Yeah, And so it's a very healthy thing.

So I was thinking, Okay, well, I'll be on my own schedule and I'll eat when I want.

You don't have to worry about me and being bored or not have.

To write or what I do feel like, I don't want you to be bored, or so I thought it'll be, it'll be.

It's just a week, it's no big deal.

And the first thirty six hours it was like, oh, okay, this is nice.

And then I hated it.

I hated it.

I hated it, and I thought it's a testament too.

Yeah, I'm code dependent.

I can't be without you.

I love that I as well so much.

And I love being with you and spending time with you.

And yes, I don't mind being alone.

I can certainly be alone.

I have no problem with being alone.

I don't want to.

I want to be with you.

I want to be with you.

Yeah, And I think part of it is that, as we've talked about in the show many times, it's like when you meet your person later in life.

Yes, we don't have all that much time together.

Yeah, a lot of times, yes, you know, and when we talk about those people who we love and they just die too soon, and you know, we're all going to and hopefully for us it'll be when we're well into our nineties and healthy and you know, enjoying each other's company until the very last breath.

But we don't know.

Nobody knows how much time you have left.

And I hate spending any of it away from you because I don't know how much time I have left with you.

And I think that if more couples thought about that, it would really reignite something within that relationship, or at the very least, if you hate that relationship.

It will remind you of who you do want to spend time with, and do it.

Just do it exactly.

If you're with the wrong person.

If you don't feel any of that, and you feel it for somebody in that person.

Yes, do it.

Leave that person and be with the person who makes.

It feels easier said than done.

But I you know, I really believe that that that's true.

Yeah, you can't like what good comes out of sticking with something until it's too late to or you just die where they die and it's too late for you to find that happiness, or like that you only get one round, you only get one time around.

Yep, so far that we can know of.

So yeah, I hated it, but it was in a weird way.

It was it felt I know you'll understand this.

It also felt really wonderful to me to miss you so much and to be like, yeah, I don't like this, yeah, because it was just a reminder of how madly in love with you I am, and just you have to be with me.

You have to cancel everything else, okay, and as you're busy, and then I'll cancel my shirt because we know that I love that too.

We'll be right back after this short break.

My god.

You guys.

Every once in a while over the last you know, since you and I'm mad and fall in love, Daisy will have to go somewhere.

Usually it's been New York, and I go with you.

I have no business there.

You'll be there for three days, four days.

You've got meetings, You're busy all day, and I'm left in the hotel to just read the paper and go to the gym and go get a massage if I want, and have a little room, serve and.

Just lay around, have lunch with your friends.

Yeah, of course I call Hugh Jackman and say, hey, bro, you've been Yeah, it's not too bad, but I well, I want to have lunch with you Jackman.

Two.

Why don't I have to work?

But we have I love that.

I like, yeah, that's kind of cool too.

Yeah it's and then you come back and we have great dinners.

And yeah, I'm just saying, not too okay.

Now we're going to lose listeners to be but like, these people are.

So annoying, so annoying.

But I'm just saying, I'm so grateful for this life.

Yeah, I'm so grateful for my existence.

For our existence, yeah, for our particular circumstances.

Well, I hope people take it as a reminder to step it up in your own life.

With you with the person who you love, who you live with, and maybe you've been with them for much longer than we've been together, you know, maybe you've been together for twenty years, maybe you've been together longer.

But this is a good chance to to be reminded the way we've been reminded that life is too short and to love your person like you may never see them like you don't know when your time is going to be up or their time is going to be up.

You know, we've seen it too much lately with our friends.

Then you you mentioned Bob Saggatt.

You know, he had just been married to lovely Kelly.

But they met right around the same time that we met.

I think they were married for maybe half a year less than we were, which is too soon.

It's not enough time to be with the person who love.

How do you even deal with that?

So I know that people can get jaded when you've been with somebody for you know, twenty years or longer, But when you really think about it that way, and if.

You really feel that way.

And if you don't feel that way, and you maybe think you feel that way about somebody else who you're not with, r take the right make the right steps to be with the person who you need to be with.

You know, not just because a relationship ends after twenty or twenty five years or thirty years, doesn't mean that that was unsuccessful.

You had a wonderful relationship as long as you did.

You've been married for a long time.

People change, you know, especially people who get married young.

Doesn't mean you've had a bad way, that you've had a wonder You have a family with that person.

Yes, I was married for almost I was married for twenty five years.

Yeah, and I think the world of her.

Yeah, And we just figured out that it was like right, it was a very successful marriage.

We had three amazing sons who are wonderful men.

It just wasn't forever, right, It doesn't have to be, you know, to stay in a relationship that is no longer going in the direction that you both wanted to go, Yeah, to stay in it is what who wins.

One of the things that really that I really admired about you when I first met you, and when I first met you.

I didn't realize that you were separated because you didn't really talk about it and we were just, you know, very lightly.

We barely knew each other.

Yeah, so I thought that you were happily married when I first met you, But when you told me, oh, we're separated.

One of the things I really admired about is how highly you spoke of the relationship and of your ex wife, that you had nothing really horrible to say other than you know, it's just it's come to the end of that relationship and we've of course, as everybody does after a relationship that long, you try to work on it and you try to make it work.

But when you're both mature enough and intelligent enough to realize that you're done trying, I really, you know, at first I didn't really believe it.

I was like, oh, sure, you know, is what's the real story here?

But then the more I got to know you, the more I realized that, you know, that is how it is, and that that's a great way to look got relationships, even when they come to an end, especially after after so long, when you will always be family because you share children.

That was really beautiful, and I, you know, instead of bad mouthing the ex like most people do.

You were really polite and elegant about it.

Thank you.

Well.

I have immense gratitude towards and you always have still to the day.

Many things.

Yeah, and for the person that she is and always was, And you know, I mean, look, I understand I know some people who who whose marriage is ended.

And some ugly yea, some very.

Horrible, and you know, and they're justified maybe in talking the ship that they talk about their ex is toxic and you know, but that wasn't the case with us, so you know.

But also for those people, I want to even remind those people that sure, maybe people do change and things can get ugly.

Things happen, people make mistakes, people really offend the other person, hurt the other person, Relationships can turn abusive, and that's never okay.

So I understand how that's what you want to talk about, but especially if you have kids, don't do that.

Don't do that because there was a time when you were in love with this person, and you love this person so much that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with that person and create a family with that person, and that's what you should focus on.

Yeah, you talked about this once before, and I think it's bears repeating Yeah, a relationship that you had, and then when it ended, people around you, Yes, we're bad mouthing him right and talking about him and you finally I'll let you say what you said.

But I thought it was really powerful and strong and cool that what you said.

Yeah, you know, they would hear about him, or hear a story about him, or see something.

And and I after I let it go for a while because I kind of, you know, secretly took joy in that sure that you know, it's not just me, Like he really wasn't a nice guy.

But then as time passed, and as I chose to remember only the good times, because there was a time when the relationship was good, that's what I wanted to feel like.

I never wanted to be with him again.

I was not in love with him during a period of time when he was your world and you adored him.

But I no longer know this person, you know.

Now it's been a couple of years since a breakup.

I don't know that person anymore.

I don't know who he is now.

So whenever my family or my friends would refer to him with some nasty name or something you know, mean or cruel, or I would say, okay, I stop stop with the name calling and stop because we don't know what he's going through.

We don't know what his life is like now.

And yes, I have my history with him, and I went through some not so wonderful times.

But you all knew him, and you all had a great time with You all liked him very much.

He didn't do anything to you, He didn't do anything to you.

He was lovely to you.

Guys.

I remember you tell him how much you liked him.

So now, for my sake, don't feel like you have to do that.

I want you to also remember the nice part about him, because what happened between me and him did not happen between you guys and him.

Yep.

And if I can get past it, you sure should get.

Past that's extremely evolved.

Well, I just came to the point where I found.

It elegant, like I'm returning the compliment of what you said to me a few minutes ago.

You you've always maintained that, and that's elegant too, and it's mature and it's evolved.

I just thank you, But I also feel like it was something that I needed to do for myself, because it's toxic to constantly be hearing negative things about someone who you know, I got to the point where I started feeling almost embarrassed that everybody thought he was such an idiot, such a fool, and I fell in love with that guy for you know, for a while, I felt stupid.

I was like, oh my god, how could I you know, so I wanted to put an end to that, and I wanted to remember why I entered that relationship and the good parts about it, because who cares?

Why Why am I going to do that to myself and create space in my mind with so much toxic negativity, right, you know, it's it makes no sense.

And for these people to feel like they have to say these horrible things about him to me just because they think that that's going to make me feel better, it didn't.

It just made me feel a little bit gross.

It was like, I don't I don't like anybody talking about anybody that way.

Yeah.

Well, these are the kind of things that I think as we get older, that these are all choices.

It's you choose how you how you feel about a relationship you've left and You can choose to be toxic about it and have your thoughts be toxic about it.

You can choose to be angry, you can choose to be bitter, or you can choose to focus on Look that was really there were things about that relationship that were great and it no longer is great, and so I'm now in a different place.

But you don't have to spend time like internally venting about the past, right, It does you no good and it doesn't affect them at all.

Yeah, Like if I see something about an X, I just you know, I see a photo or somebody mentions that they've run into them, or that they've seen something or heard something.

You know, I wish them the best.

I always hope that they're not in a bad place and that they're happy and that they're doing well.

And you know, I guess that comes from a place where because I'm so happy and I'm doing well and and I've found like real love and true love, and I hope that they did too.

Any decent person deserves.

That, absolutely, But I don't think that you can find it in your own life if you're still feeling so negative and toxic about somebody else.

I think it will affect your own energy and what you bring to your life, so that it's important, I feel.

For me, it's important to clear my mind of those thoughts and to not wish anything negative and to realize that also what happened happened, And I no longer know those people like I knew them, but I have no idea what their life is like now, so I can't say whether they're assholes or not being good people or not.

I can't wish anything on them but happiness.

Yeah.

Well, on that note, I hope our listeners have been understanding about us not being weekly, but there's a lot going on.

Yeah.

I think we also will not be back next week, probably next week.

Vacation, sexy little vacation.

Yes.

As much as we love doing tequila talk and we love you guys, yes, we just like you, we need a break and.

We do want to disconnect a little bit from social media for the for the four days that we're away.

It's gonna be almost a week actually, but I will take lots of pictures and videos, and once the vacation is over, we will post.

And we'll be back here to talk about it.

Yeah.

So following to a.

Really sexy undisclosed location.

It's actually a really unknown, unpopular, unpopulated island, right.

It's part of the Caribbean, and we'll tell you all about it.

We'll see how it is.

It could be total shit, but it could be really great.

Yeah.

So if you follow us on Instagram, we will be posting some some photos and we'll fill you in on the details when we get back.

Yes, And in the meantime, you guys, be safe, stay healthy, and we'll see you in two weeks.

Yeah, see you.

Thanks for listening to Tequila Talk with Daisy Fuentez and Richard Marx.

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