I applied for the Disney co Op, which is like where you go down to Disney for a semester and you like kind of bounce through all the different departments of Disney.

You work in every area of Disney, and anyone that knows me now and knows my career, like it would be like the mothership calling me home.

But they said no, no, thank you.

But that's also the summer that I met Michael Bivens and my music career began.

So I have a great story about how what you.

Think music career?

Then you don't know me at all?

Man, You ain't done no research, brother.

I've done You think I didn't know.

I'm not I knew you.

I thought I've just been following you.

No, I think you know this.

I was in the East Coast family.

You know this?

What's wrong on for one video?

I do not know this, keV.

I've only known.

You at this point.

At this point, keV, what are we even doing?

What are we even doing?

Man?

We got it to eye.

But what is this friendship?

If this is if you don't know the origin story of me, what are we doing?

I've learned?

You know, friendships about learning.

We're always evolving as people.

We're learning.

You better be here with this friend, rod E That just.

Oh my god, you better seen.

You better seen that.

Hold on, let me.

Fine, now listen, let's let's kick it off.

Welcome to Not My Best Moment with me keV on stage, author of hopefully New York Times bestseller book Successful Failure.

Usually on podcasts, we talk about what makes people great.

We're here with Event Nicole Brown today a ka just Event the Moniker.

Not easily.

We could talk about everything.

She's done.

Over one hundred and eighty acting credits to her name on IMDb, everything from community to inside Out.

She's acting, she's directed, She's been in your favorite shows.

She's directed your favorite movies.

She's currently on Family Business on BT Netflix at Your Age the Prophecy.

Yes, yes, yes, we know all these things.

But we're not here to talk about accolades.

That's not what this show is about.

This show is about your mistakes, your mess ups, and what you learn from them.

If anything, So we are here now.

I didn't do my googles on Event.

I've known if as a fan for many, many years, and I've known her as a friend for.

A few years at least.

Passix seven, Lee Fas six, LASIXN and Effect.

I didn't know, my producers said, y'all didn't know if that was in the East Coast family as event had a whole music career.

Please tell me.

I know I was wigging wigginy whack, I was Alloweddy wiggy Whack, and everything about the music video took me back to a time that I love to spend in the nineties.

But you know, update us who don't know on what happened there, because this is news to me.

Please inform me.

You know, it's funny we started this conference.

First of all, I'm very happy to be looking at you in a box, in an online box.

I wish you could be in person.

But we have been trying to do this for how many how many podcasts visits were us?

Was I supposed to make and life just kept lifing like cancer happened.

It was just that, like crazy happening.

But you know what, all things work together because I think this might be the best version of talking to you.

I think this is the most interesting, so you know, feel.

Good about it, talk a bit about it, so we you know, the not my best moment, like when you sent the little they send it for those that don't know, they send a little pre little thing, a piece of paper.

Let you know what exactly they want from you.

And they said pick something, you know, pick a time when you weren't at your best or life was life in and all that, And so I had to have two things.

But the reason we got to East Coast Families.

I was telling keV that my first like big disappointment in life happened when I was in college.

I was a think I was a freshman or a sophomore in college.

And so we had this thing there, and I think other colleges may have had it too.

It was called the Disney co Op and it was where you got a semester off from school and you spent that time going to Disney World and cycling through every single part of the parks, from executive to working as a guide to backstage.

You were literally you might even have time in the Mickey Mouse a costume.

Like you literally tried everything.

And I think the goal of the program was for you to decide, you know, what you wanted to do was part of the Disney family one day.

Now, anyone that knows my career now and how much I work for Disney and how Pg.

Thirteen I am you would think that would be the mothership calling me home.

So when I heard about it, you know, my nineteen year eighteen or nineteen year old self was like, oh my god, this is this, this is the moment.

God, thank you, this is about to happen.

Grueling interviews, keV like at least three or four interviews while you're in school.

So you're going to school and then you're meeting with all these different people and you're telling them why you want to do what you want to do and really selling yourself.

It was wonderful.

We get to the final interview, I'm like, this is it my moment, Like I'm about to go in there and it's about to be all that I go in and do the interview.

I'm like, this is it, Like my life is about to change.

I'm about to be down at Disney.

It's about to begin.

Maybe two weeks later, deary Vet Brown, we regret to inform you, oh, I'm not chosen you to be a part of the Disney Fellowship.

And when I tell you to this day, I mean, I'm going to say that I do know now why, But at the time I couldn't understand and what I did wrong.

You know, I knew that my school, my personality was great, my classes, my coursework, my grades were great, I had extracurriculars.

I know that I was the personality that I'm obvious, the Disney personality.

So I'm like, what is it?

What is it?

You know?

So that's same.

So I didn't get it.

I was devastated.

But then that summer was the summer that BBD came to my college town to perform, and that is the summer that I went and sang for Michael Bivens.

And that's the summer that I became a part of the East Clast family, got my record deal, met boys to men, got to travel to la and see the world.

And so what I learned from that experience is that, you know, the only thing that's heartbreaking about life is you don't have the lane of experience to realize that things always ultimately work out.

Now that ultimately might be twenty years later, might be twenty minutes later, but it does ultimately always work out.

And now you fast forward, you know, third years, I'm on you know, in Disney movies, and I'm host I'm going down the Florida in a couple of days to host something else for Disney at Disney World.

I am hosting in front of thousands of people for the Disney Company, and that's something.

So what I felt in my heart that I was being called to do it was a call from the future.

It was telling me where you will be.

Huh.

So it's not just about right, come on now.

Sometimes come on.

Sometimes God will give you a glimpse of where He's going to take you ultimately.

And we only miss out on that blessing if we stay in the muck and the mire of the disappointment.

Disappointment gonna happen.

One thing I know for sure with my fifty four years of living, there's going to be times when you don't understand, when it doesn't make sense, when it's all when all is lost.

But you know it's the third day.

Yeah, yeah, on the third day is when and the figurative third day for you is when you rise up and God reveals what he always had for you.

So he just whispered it to me a few years really, you know, but he already he told me what he had for me.

It just wasn't coming in that way.

I love you.

I love that.

I think the part that is that is so good.

I think the part that's hard about that is, you know, ultimately we believe God has and I do believe this.

I assume you do as well.

God has the whole picture, yep, the whole plan, the whole journey.

But we have the next step or two right right, And I imagine it's like a maze, like you're walking and amazing.

You get to the end and you're just like you don't know how far you are where you are.

And that part is very frustrating because in the moment we be like this is what what next?

Like I imagine you were like, well, now, what how long did it take you to, like to reconcile because you put your eggs in that basket?

In that oh that egg was down the road with the with the rabbit carrying it.

It was he was hopping on down the road with that basket.

I didn't have no more eggs.

It's like, it's like me in his house right now because eggs is expensive.

I had no leagues.

All my eggs was in that basket and I didn't.

You know.

The thing is, I was like I had planned to be in Florida like I had.

I literally told my roommates deuces, like I was ready to go to what it was supposed to be, and it probably wasn't.

This was like a fall semester into into spring semester, all the all the interviews, and I didn't meet Michael until that summer.

So it really was months, like six seven, eight months of just being just feeling like like I really missed it.

Because there's nothing as a believer, there's nothing worse.

I mean there's I mean, hell is worse, reprobate is worse, but there's very little worse than knowing that you heard God.

Knowing that you heard God and him saying nah, you know, not right now or later.

That is such a debilitating thing, especially when you're young.

When you're young, either when you're young Christ or you young in the world.

Right I was or both?

Right?

So I was both.

I was nineteen years old and I was you know, I was young in my walk with God and I was young in life.

So I hadn't yet realized that sometimes hard work doesn't pay off immediately.

Oh say more about that, either, right, say that?

Because that's yeah, that's hard to that's hard to settle.

With right because we because we're told, especially the black kids, we're told that the only way through is if we we have to excel right, excellence ten times better to get half as much.

All of that is what we're told from the time we're young, and honestly, up until that point in my life, it had been proven true.

Like I was the one that was front row center in every class.

I was National Honor Society, scholarships to college.

You know, I was that chick, like I really believed, you know, if you work hard and you study hard and you're good, a good person, the world opens up for you.

And that was the first time that I did all the things.

I did them all, you know, and and it did not that particular blessing did not come my way.

And I had to really sit with that.

And cause you have that moment, it doesn't matter where you are in Christ, you have the moment where you're like, well, what does it What does it mean when you have done what he said we're supposed to do?

And the answer is still know And that always takes me back to the scripture.

Though he slay me, yet, will I trust him?

Yet?

Will I trust?

And so listen slay is death.

Oh, now that might be you know, death to a dream, death to a relationship, death to a job prospect, death to a friendship.

But the point is you supposed to be able to be like, all right, he took me out and I don't like it.

We ain't gotta like it.

I don't like it, right, But I trust him?

Yeah, but I trust him.

And that was the first time I had to literally, you know, lean into that thing.

So how did you trust him?

Because okay, so well let me I'm gonna ask this, and I'm gonna double back.

Sure, what's the time period between when you found out you weren't getting it and then until you met Michael Bivins?

It was probably I would say I didn't get it around maybe March because they were setting us up to be able to go there in the fall.

Okay, So I want to say, like maybe February or March I got the no, it ain't you.

And then I met Michael probably that July, so four or five months from that to that.

And I gotta be honest, when I met Michael, I didn't have that instant.

That's why I didn't have that Like I was very happy that I met Michael, but I still.

Still wanted Disney.

Yeah, but what I mean I still because I didn't know what was going to happen with Michael.

I didn't know if I was gonna if I was going to actually be signed.

I didn't know.

I didn't know that the East Coast family was coming.

I didn't know any of that.

I just I just knew that I sang for one of my heroes and he liked my voice, and he promised me that I'd be doing something musical, which had been my greatest dream even before going to college.

I always want to be a singer.

So that was great, but I didn't have it.

Wasn't a bird in.

The hand for sure.

First was a Disney.

Was the bird?

The bird, the beautiful?

The dove was in the hand?

Yeah?

Yeah, you know?

Yeah, So how did you take me through those those in between months?

Like what was it like?

And you know, when you're young, we don't have a lot of life experience to even it ain't like all that one time.

Now you can say when I was nineteen this happened, or when I thought I would get this roll or book this movie.

But at that time that might might have been the most devastating being career wise for you might have might have.

Might have been wo inconsolable.

Couldn't nobody say nothing to it?

My mother was like baby, I said, my mom, okay, here now, I can't hear right now.

They didn't.

The mouse then went on without the mouse.

Don't want the mouse.

Don't want me, Mama, the mouse don't want me.

The only thing that I could even liking it to back then was just like liking some dude that didn't like me.

Back that was the only thing that was as devastating, you know, as that as that experience, you know, it's the only thing.

Everything else paled in comparison.

So you just kind of I think at the time, I think this is the way I am though in life.

I mean, we're gonna do.

I mean, what I'm gonna do with trust God, I don't know.

I don't know anything other to do.

And I'm a completest, like I want to see how this thing going in.

This is why, for the most part, I've never been suicidal, because and I've had things that have happened that have made me like, I this sucks.

I don't like it here.

But the reason I've never seriously thought about leaving here is like, well, I gotta see how it's.

Going in tomorrow.

It might get better tomorrow, to see what it's gonna be, you know what I mean, figure out what it is.

I mean, I'm gonna leave here someday anyway, so might as well wait to the Lord take me to take myself.

So that's, you know, so what I'm gonna do.

But but but whether this and have a great story to tell hopefully, so let me.

Ask you this.

And I want to know what happened with your music career as well.

But anybody, you don't have to be an actor to know this.

Very few of us get to be Denzel and audition once and never have to audition again.

That's right.

The rest of us, have you audition?

Yea?

Is there anything you learned from not getting that Disney co op that later on in life you feel like helped you navigate, you know, navigate Hollywood or the music industry.

Yet what I learned is that you not promised nothing like even if you even if you are even if you got next, even if you are the person that everybody's like, this is you, this is you son, there's no guarantees, and that actually, where some people might see that as sad, that was freeing for me because that meant if there's no guarantees for me, there's no guarantee for anybody else either, which means it's a very level playing field.

You know.

I just realized at that moment, nobody.

I say this all the time when I talk to young, young actors and young people, I always say, nobody knows what they're doing, and nobody knows what the secret sauce is for this business.

Anybody you talk to that has made it, talk to fifty people, you'll hear fifty ways they broke in.

You hear fifty ways they got their agent, their manager, their podcast, there, whatever.

There's no set way of doing any of this, which means anyone that tells you, well, this is how you do it, they don't know that's how they did it.

You know, the basics.

You have a hit shot, you know, right.

If you're a comedian, have five minutes in your back pocket.

If you're a writer, make sure you got a script or too.

That's the basics.

But as far as that script guaranteeing you're gonna have a movie please or Churchy on BT, absolutely not.

There ain't no guarantee for that stuff.

You do the work and hope for the best, but there's no guarantee.

So that's what I learned from it.

I don't regret that I was excellent in those interviews.

I don't regret that I dreamed of being a part of Disney.

Like I said, it was my future calling.

That was good work I did.

It was right for me to put that time in.

It made me better for every interview I had going forward, every audition I had going forward.

It sucks that I didn't get it, but I got it.

It's like it's like wax on wax off with a kid.

Yeah, you know he's doing the hard work and in the moment it doesn't look like it's bearing any fruit.

But getting there with one leg and fight and be able to do that faint defense.

And right right.

I think that's so good to hear, Like, yeah, it feels like harsh advice, but it's very true.

Sometimes your best isn't good enough.

Like in sports, there's this this this phrase that says good defense better offense, and there's no there's no defense for the perfect play.

Like you can have done everything.

Right, you could be in position you could have scouted, you could know their tendencies.

You can have your hand up.

Sometimes that shot still goes in and you lose a game, and I think you gotta kind of you gotta kind of own that.

Regardless of your industry, sometimes you gotta own that you did everything right, especially Hollywood.

I think for me, I was I hate auditioning.

And one thing I hate is they don't even tell you didn't get it.

They don't even just never hear.

You never hear from yost it.

You get ghosted.

You just never hear.

Like especially you, you feel like, man, I killed this, you know.

And my son used to be in the industry and he was like six.

He was auditioning and he would be like, dude, his preparation and do all this and then not get it.

He's like, Daddy, am I not good enough?

And it could be something as simple.

And I didn't understand this until I was on the other side.

We you know, when he did Little Rascals, they needed they wanted these characters to be exactly four inches, the same height, same right right like he played Buckweed in the remake and the partner Spanky, I mean, uh, Parky.

They loved him and they loved my son's partner and they wanted buckwet to be exactly four inches.

So had my son done everything else, but not have the wrong height been the wrong height?

And it's like, how do you do that over and over when they don't even tell you that.

I don't even know that because he booked it.

If he didn't book it, they wouldn't they wouldn't have even told us that.

And I think that resilience is so necessary.

Yeah, but you know, something else came to mind.

I was thinking that I always think about life as like I can't remember what painter it is that does the dots.

I don't know if it's Matisse or Monet, but one of them does the little dots, and you got it.

You get really close to it and it doesn't look great, and then you pull out and it's like, oh, they boy the river looking at the ducks.

So what I always think about is we are looking at our life very close up, and when it's a tough moment, God is working on the shadow.

If somebody is standing on the river, right, it's a shadow, and the shadow is dark, right, So when you're looking up close and you just see black and blue and dark colors, but you pull like, oh, that's the latest shadow, but you can only see it from up here, and that's the way God is looking at it.

Right.

The other thing I always think about is we are the star of our story, but sometimes we're a supporting player or even a background performer in someone else's story.

So there might have been somebody at my college who really wanted to go to Disney and they didn't believe that they could do it, and they there was one slot left and it was between me and that person, and God needed to teach that person that sometimes you can be the underdog and still win.

So instead of giving it to the one that was the shoe in in this instance, God chose to use the shoe in against the underdog for the underdog to get it so that person could have what they needed to take them where they need to go.

It wasn't my story, that was his story.

I was a supporting player in that person's version of this story, right their lifestory.

And you gotta be okay being a supporting player in someone else's story, even if it's it's one that you want to show, you really want to be in that.

Is so you know good.

That is low key.

That's a really good perspective to have one thing that I've been like, you know, implementing more wasn't a thought process that I used to have, but I've been implementing more and more, and it helps navigate Hollywood tremendously.

Is what God has for me is for me.

It's for you.

And the things you think are for you.

You know, like you're saying about that dot, in that moment, you feel like, oh, if I just did this, it would be perfect, and it seems like, oh, this would fit, this would be perfect, and it isn't because you don't have the right perspective.

I remember when we were I was very young, maybe about twenty maybe nineteen or twenty, and this is when we were doing the plays.

And I remember we had done a play and we were just sure we were going to take it on the road, and I was going to be away from my family.

And I thought, my wife a laptop and this thing was had more malware than key, just full of.

Malware, spyware.

I thought I was moving to Chicago.

We didn't even have kids yet, so I was all to go to Chicago and we're gonna make it ended up being the lady.

The promoter ended up getting pregnant.

She was like, I was ready to move to Chicago.

She was like, I'm sorry, I'm having twins.

Clinck's over.

Yeah, And I think now I realized I'm very grateful that my career has gone very slowly because I needed to learn how to be a good husband, a better father.

Like I travel a lot now, but when my children were young, I didn't travel that much.

And you can't go back in time and redo that.

Now they're like, you know, I travel a lot now, but they're like, you know, I felt super guilty about it.

And they were like, you've been a part of our.

Life, been here, you've been here and we and we've almost were almost grown.

Now go we almost grown now, And tell you that they don't even when I am home, maybe gone with their friends, studios.

They got a life camp.

Ain't got time for you now, ain't.

Got no time.

But I think only when I look back I can say I'm glad that things worked out the way they did.

But looking forward, it's often it's like fog.

You.

I got to.

Say this though, you don't want to be somewhere you're not ready for either you know what I mean, come on now.

Like we all have big dreams and things that we want to do, especially in this industry.

I want to I want to.

Lead a movie, do you?

And and you may, but are you to lead?

I'll be on a multimillion dollar Really you ready for that?

The pressure?

The pressure of it, Like I kind of like slow and study.

I like God to I let God decide when it's time for me to level up.

I don't petition and do none of that.

I'd be like Lord, whenever you say it's time, I'm gone and go.

You open the door, I'm gonna go through it, but I'm not banging on I don't bang on doors.

Care I don't bang on doors, then don't do it.

I've always joked that my career is Forrest Gump, Like everywhere I've ended up has been literally just you know, finding my way there, and I'm prepared.

I prepare, but I don't chase down things.

And that's why the other thing, going back to the what's for you is for you?

I've never understood people that act as if there's not enough to go around, and because of that they stabbing people in the back and stepping on people's necks to get ahead.

If I got to step on your neck to get it, I.

Don't want it.

I don't want to lose myself to get something from you.

Don't.

I want you to have everything God got for you.

I'm not taking nothing from nobody.

I am proud to say I've never stolen anybody's job.

I've never slept with anybody to get ahead.

I ain't never took nobody's boyfriend or try to.

I don't live like that.

I've never like lied about.

I don't lie about privately.

Girl, I don't know who they saying.

If I know who they saying, I'm gonna tell you what they're saying.

I will find out about an audition and ask any of my friends and they'll tell the truth.

I'll be like I tave you they're over there looking for us.

They gone down to Ross Lacey because I mean, TV don't need this.

Now she got to Oscar.

They be calling her.

But I'm saying back in the.

Day, I'd be like I Tavia, they looking for us down at Ross Lacey, gone, and it's a Tide commercial and they want somebody.

It's a little fluffy that got you know, little brown skin girl gone down there, tell him I sent you.

I don't care.

I'll come out of an audition and be like, there's three people in there.

The lady in the green sweater don't like to laugh, so don't put nothing to her.

Talk to the guy in the brown sweater.

He real nice.

I tell everybody everything because in my mind, it's either for me or.

It's for you.

And if you, if you my girl, min and even if you know my girl, I don't care.

I do not keep information.

I think everybody sho win.

If anybody looks at my page, I be promoting everybody stuff I ain't got.

Ain't nobody paying me nothing.

I'd be like out here for the community.

I'll be like church, you about to come back.

I will read my stories is like five hundred pages long, because every time somebody got some good news or need help, I'm reposting it.

Yeah, I'm not hiding no good stuff from nobody.

Ain't got to be able to tell you it's good.

Gon't watch you gonna watch Kevin Show and stop playing.

You better go.

Nobody pots from Tabitha silipot.

You'all better go get your pots and Donna's recipe.

I'll be I'll be the first one.

Yeah, that's the first one.

And it don't take nothing from you.

You'll take nothing.

I fully believe God has your and honestly, I even believe the more you are that way, the more people celebrate you when it's your turn.

Absolutely, this is a saying I use all the time.

Kevin says, a candle loses nothing by.

Lighting or nothing.

Oh that's good.

Nothing.

You get it that flame, that flame is plentiful.

Go go on, share your flame.

Don't share your flame.

Time for a quick commercial break.

We'll be back with more from eventing Nicole Brown.

Now that that Disney fellowship, you lost it and you won back and you got everything worked out.

Okay.

Is there anything in your life that you went through way you still to this day?

Might not his day?

I will tell you it's so funny.

I've never told this.

People know this story, but I've never told this story publicly.

So when I graduated from college, I moved out to LA to pursue the music career.

Music had changed a little bit.

I was I'm PG thirteen.

I'm always in PG.

Thirteen.

Kim Whitley caused me a little baby, Jesus, I've always been someone as I'm always fully covered.

I'm just you know, I'm just just who I am, and there's no judgment if you want to be out there like that, live your life.

But for me, I know what works for me.

So I didn't want to sing sex songs.

I didn't want to sing songs like you know, flip me up, throw me against the wall, all that stuff was just not for me.

And so between getting my record deal at I think twenty is when I signed my deal, and then graduating from college and moving to LA, the music industry, like aDNA Howard was out there like I want to get it.

She was like, come on, get remember I saw I know him very well.

So yeah, so and no shade the aDNA, but that I can't do it.

I can't do it.

So by the time I came out, I was like, well, let me just you know, work in the industry and pursue other things.

So I was working as an office temp and there was this show that came out called The Cut and it was the precursor to American Idol, and it was three judges and you came out and you sang and they and they assessed you, and then I think the winner of that show would go on and get a record deal and ended up being, you know, get a video and whatever.

And so I'm working as a temp and I'm like, I think this is this is look at me, this is it.

I don't even imitate something.

I had my teeth kicked in so much as a young person that I don't even declare that something is it anymore?

I don't.

I don't do it.

I don't do it.

I go and I leave it.

But I was like, this is it, Like this is my way to get back into the industry.

So I go in audition and I get I get it.

I'm I'm I'm gonna be on the show, which I'm taking as a sign.

And I was not.

Not to my credit, I was not.

I had just quit a job.

Not to my credit, I didn't quit the job because of the show.

I quit the job because sometimes I wake up go it's a good day to quit, Like you gotta know where.

It's time, when your time is up.

I said, today's the day.

So I'd already quit.

And so I quit the job and then gave my I gave my two weeks notice, and then within that next week I was going to be going to do this this show.

So I go and do the show, and I'm nervous and I'm backstage and I'm feeling like my throat is a little dry.

So so let me just put I'm gonna put a delicious lodging and I'm just going.

When a moisten, moisten needs vocal these vocal wars.

Now, I'm not a trained singer.

Anything I know how to do as a singer, and for the most part, as an actor, it's just me learning, being a fool or just singing.

I just I'm not trained.

Had I been trained, I would know that you don't you don't eat a lozenge because it kind of it kind of numbs your vocal cords.

You can't really control them as well.

And also training might have taught me that you don't start a song with one in your mouth.

So I got you know how it sends.

So I got out there and started to sing on this national television show and the lozenge goes down my throat as soon as I say my first note, So we go.

That is the noise that my throat made.

Now I'm thinking, do I keep trying to sing or do I try to survive I gotta get it down or it's gotta come up up.

It is probably, but all this is going through my mind while I'm singing this song in front of these three judges.

So of course it was horrible.

I got judged, Oh horribly.

The judges were like, you're trash.

I don't know how you got on the show.

Boo.

Somebody had tomatoes.

I'm kidding.

But then if they had tomatoes, they would have thrown the tomatoes.

Now, this happened on national television.

It happened on MTV, and this is when MTV played things five a million times.

So I'm leaving, I go I literally keV, I promise you.

I was leaving the set and I said to myself, well, I'm in the car already, I should just drive to Ohio.

I don't even.

I don't need anything that's in that little small studio apartment.

I don't.

I've quit my job.

I don't.

I don't really own anything because I was poor.

I was so poor.

I'm so poor back then.

I was like, I just I'll just drive home.

I tried.

I tried this, it's not didn't happen, It's okay, And then it washed over me.

How many times it would be seen.

And when I tell you, MTV did not disappoint.

When I tell you MTV, MTV ran my humiliation.

If I'm saying if it aired five hundred times, I'm not even kid keV all all day parts, all day parts, first thing in the morning, middle of the night, it was.

It was on and there was I remember, I'll never forget.

This is this girl that I thought was my friend.

Were I thought we were friends in high school.

She called me long distance, and this is before cell phones.

This is wow when this when long distance was expensive.

She found my number in that studio apartment and she called me long distance.

She said, hey, you know, I just saw you.

I just saw you on the cut.

That was real embarrassing.

Huh oh oh my god.

I said, yeah, that was that was really devas.

Yeah, I watched you.

I've seen it a couple of times.

It airs a lot.

I said, yeah, it does.

You know, thank you, thank you for letting me know that you watched me get humiliated on television.

And I realized in that moment there's always a lesson.

I realized, one, this girl is not my friend.

That's obvious.

But then I.

Also realized that there are people that enjoy someone else's downfall, and though I had never been someone that did, I really hate I'm so I'm so bad.

I can't go to comedy clubs because I don't like people to bomb, like I'm.

The fool, you know, the fool.

We see somebody really bombing, and it's one person laughing at that's me, I'm the one.

And I can't watch Apollo because they might get booed, like something dies inside when someone doesn't do well, and I know that they want to so I don't have that in me.

I don't understand the inclination to kick someone while they're down.

But I learned from her that there are people that do wish you ill, and there are people that you know, I guess they call the monitoring spirits.

Now we didn't have that framework back then, but there are people that watch you, hoping that you fail.

And I realized, you know, if I left Cleveland to come to La to chase these big dreams that a lot of people in Cleveland didn't have because we can't see our way out, and I was, you know, crazy enough to actually think that this could happen for me.

And I realized that that bothered her like she didn't like that I wanted more for myself.

And when she thought that this big dream I had had died, she couldn't wait to dance at the death party the funeral.

And I had.

Learned in that experience to never to never allow someone else's glee at my failure to affect me, because it told me more about who she was than about me.

And that lozenge on that TV show, you know what I mean, Like I you know, and I heard she lost a toe recently.

I heard she don't have a toe.

Lord came and grabbed that toe.

He said, come on, give me that, give me that right.

Quick stand in nine toes down, nine toes.

Down, and her hate and listen, I wish I wish her well.

I've always wished her well.

I ain't got no beef with her, but she's showed enough relished, you know, kicking me when I was down with the ten toes she had at the time.

You know what's so interesting about that event is that wasn't even a skill issue.

That was an unfortunate mishap.

And she jumped at something on another day.

You don't have the lozenge and you whatever happens is Yeah, it's not a skill issue, but that's that's sometimes how the cookie, how the cookie crumbles.

But yeah, you know, I think it's so interesting you your career started before social media was a big part of it, and it's gone into social media being a big part of it.

That to me, that lesson is a valuable one for having a career on social media because people they don't like you, and they just are waiting for enough people to not like you so they can finally share by this thing they've always had without reason.

It's so rough, and I think you we've had to learn to really not take that unwarranted criticism personally, right, So I think you're right, it takes a It really honestly is more reflective of the person than anything you have done.

You You are really just the target of their of their.

Own of their own sadness or their own self hate, you know, uh excuse me.

And being fair to her, you know, she might have felt trapped in Ohio or she might have felt like, you know, what she wanted to to do she wouldn't be able to do.

And who am I to dream big?

Who am I to you know?

And I've never been a braggadocious person, so it wasn't like I was walking through the streets to clean look at me.

I've never been that person.

So I didn't understand why she felt like she had to kick me down.

I'm pretty I keep myself pretty low anyway.

I'm a very humble person.

So I didn't get it.

But I realized that it was it wasn't about me, you know, And I also know God has always got me, even in the midst of devastation.

And when I say that situation was even more devastating than the Disney thing, because I didn't feel that I had done my best.

I felt that I'd made a mistake, a bad decision that.

Ended up playing out repeatedly, and I didn't know what that lesson.

What don't put.

Alazengin is that that's not a big enough lesson for it to be.

You know, played that many times.

But then I think it goes back to the lesson of the Disney co op.

I had to learn that sometimes doesn't go your way, and it goes right back to who are you as a child of God?

If God has another plan for you?

Who are you?

Now?

You quit your jobs?

You don't have a job.

You just humiliated yourself on television.

And then also, I forgot to say this, I had a temp job starting the next day.

So I went and I went to the temp job.

Now ask me, did I cry all day at the place?

Crowd all day?

Kevin?

I cried all day?

They said, this, poor girl, what is that?

Was a TV show?

And they said, well, girl, just answer the phones when you can't death Dragon teas and get these phones.

That job ended up being how about this?

That job ended up being a blessing for years were not years, for a few months, like six or seven months.

It was at a place called Apollo Investments.

I think it still exists.

It was an investment firm.

This place had a full kitchen because they wanted the men, the men and women that worked there to feel free to work as late as they wanted or come in as early.

So they had breakfast, they catered lunch, they catered dinner every day.

I had quit a job.

I was on the bus and a system was poor.

And I ate well at Apollo Investments and they enjoyed me.

They forgave my tears that first day, and I ended up working there as long as I wanted to anytime they need attempt they called me in.

So it literally, even though I was in my lowest place, God was still providing, he was still giving me provision.

And you have to always look for there's a silver lining in every cloud.

I am old, and I can tell y'all there is a silver lining in every cloud.

But you can sit there and bemoan the rain, or you can go let me dip through, look through these dots and these drops.

And ah, I'm an all girl.

Whoa that is?

That is?

And I will cling to that little sliver of a of a of a a silver lining as long as it takes until the rain stops, because rain gonna come west.

Let me tell you what life taught me, KIV.

Most of life is hard, yeah, the good time like we I think we were sold a bill of goods that life is great and fun whatever, And sometimes it's bad.

No, no, no, it's mostly really difficult, and sometimes it's good.

And so you need to learn how to cope through the part.

If you learn how to make it through hard times without you know what Tab always said, If you can't have a gooday, don't you go mess.

Up nobody else, go messing nobody else.

Go mess up.

Nobody else is here.

So if you can find a way to weather your storms without becoming a storm cloud in someone else's life, you cracked the matrix.

I th crat that cracked it.

You know, that's that's so good because you know, I imagine earlier in your career you went from tim job to booking something to back to the job like booking back to it.

Didn't you weren't You didn't have like my first road one hundred episodes like you've had, you know, And I think that has to be.

Tough to be.

Like I got a little bit of my dream.

Now I got to go back to apollow investments.

Man, let me tell you something.

Well, they had very delicious food, so I wouldn't ever say, but man, delicious chick, the leg cuckaroo they was, it was doing it.

That's a that's part of your amenities down to the job.

Be more valua than for one k when you hung I'm hungry right now, hungry today.

Every cereal cab, every cereal that they made, it was in there.

When you go on the little treaded wheat treading read on up to the fruit loops and the apple jack stand.

It all that milk two percent and whole.

You want to be.

You want to do the skill, do the skill you want to you want the full.

Experience of the cow.

Here's the hole with the bottom in d Man follow vessels was amazing, But yeah, it's it's it's all a journey.

The first the first sitcom I booked.

Kevin Hard mentioned earlier the Big House.

The Big House was picked up for I should have.

Told that story.

That's a great story.

We got the Big House, we still got time the pipe.

We do pilot.

It's my first policiason book a pilot, my first policies.

It's crazy.

It never happens.

And then the show is picked up.

They fly us to New York to do the upfronts.

The night before the upfronts, they call us into a room and they say, we're sorry, your your pickup has been rescinded.

Never in the history of network television had a show been a cast been flown to the upfronts and the show canceled before they're able to be announced.

So they told us, you know, you guys can either catch a flight back tonight, you can do I said, well, listen, I got this room until the day after tomorrow, so I'm gonna I'm gonna get me and I got this per diem.

They then told me, I got some dim on this room I got.

I left there with a robe.

We were standing at the Ritz Carlton.

I left with a ritz.

I'm leaving.

There was something I put that on it.

I got.

I got all the shrimp.

Do you understand?

I called down the rooms, I ever saying I have two hundred dollars went a lot further back in two thousand and three.

I said, I got two hundred dollars.

I would like all the shrimp, however you cook it fried freakazy.

I would like all the s So they set all the shrimp up, all of that, and then so we were sent we fly back to California, and then they because it was a black show, that got canceled that way, and it never happened.

I think there was really a lot of bad press.

And so then we ended up getting a mid season pickup for thirteen.

We're on the night before the sixth episode starts.

I go and buy a car because I'd been driving a beater.

I mean, like, check engine light on, can't go up the hill and have the radio on.

You you could add a choice.

You had radio on the heat or go up a hill.

Those are your choices.

So listen and told you the car I would get able to listen.

This is what we're doing it down and told you what we can do today, So figure it out.

So this car was.

Uphill.

You if it got to go uphill, you got to go on the way, park down here and walk walk up.

So this car was on his last legs.

And I was like, I finally have a network show.

I wasn't.

I wasn't making a lot of money per episode, of course, but it was enough to get a car note and know that I.

Could pay it.

So I buy this car.

The dealership was right across the street from we were shooting at the studio that's on in Culver City.

I think it's called Sunset Gower or Gower Studios.

Anyway, there was a Honda dealership right across street.

Bought my little hond to CRV.

Pull up to the show, got the bowl on it.

I'm excited, come in with the key.

They're like, you bet, can we have a conversation in living room set?

Anytime?

They want to gather us somewhere, ain't it ain't good.

I go in with my key in my hand, and they said, yeah, we've been canceled.

This episode is our last episode.

So we not only got canceled before Upfronts, we didn't even get to finish the first thirteen.

We got six and I had just bought a car, and you bought the car the show after I bought the car on like a Monday night, Tuesday morning, that show was canceled.

The next day you went to work, they said, with.

The boat camp.

I still had the bowl on the hood, with the boat still.

It's the first time I ever bought a new car.

I said, I need the boat.

You got to give me the boat.

I draw with the boat.

The boat was on the car.

I was like like, now that I'm telling these stories, I'm like, why am I so hopeful?

Why do I believe?

Why did you go back to the car and rip the bowl?

I listen, I enjoyed my ball.

I said, listen, I'm gonna live.

I'm gonna live in yesterday today.

I'm gonna live in yesterday today.

And this is the other thing too.

I've always been a saver, so I knew that the only big purchase I made was that car, and This was two thousand and three.

That car was maybe maybe twelve thousand dollars, which you know was like maybe three hundred dollars a month or something.

It's doable.

It was doable, but it still was, you know, another another kick in the chest, but I didn't.

This is when I say about that experience.

I learned immediately in this industry that nothing is guaranteed.

Now, what a great way to learn it.

I'd rather learn it with a twelve thousand dollars car than a Porsche one hundred thousand dollars Porsche, right, I'd rather learn it without a mortgage.

I'd rather learn it while Apollo Investments is still allowing me to come in and eat that cereal and that cuckaroo in the evening, you know what I mean.

I learned it at the right time.

And then I also it taught me how to appreciate and be grateful for everything you get because nothing is guaranteed in this life, and especially in this business.

It's not guaranteed.

So that's so interesting, right, because you've had full TV shows, you know, you you were on Community you left there, You've had like do you think that view that view of life has made it easier to navigate this very difficult life.

Absolutely, because I think, listen, either you believe my favorite scripture is Jeremiah twenty nine eleven.

That's my favorite scripture.

That's the one man.

How.

Help me that I have.

Towards you to prosper you future, not to harm you, to give you an expected in right, which means what do you expect?

You know?

And also God's got you.

So though it.

Looks like right now this is horrible, it's an expected end.

So if it looks horrible, it ain't the end.

I put that scripture on the runner of my wedding.

Jeremih tweeny nine eleven was on the runner because that's how much of a rock scripture it is for me.

And so if you believe that scripture and you believe that God is literally trying to prosper you and not harm you, that means in any time in life that you feel like you got a kick to the sternum, that's not the end.

It might be a lesson, but it's not the end.

So I always hold on to God's God's word and he says that it's gonna be alright for me ultimately, So I'm just gonna keep going until I get to my ultimate end.

And that's when he calls me home, when he says, well done, my good and faithful servant.

I know Jesus.

You know I'm good.

I know Jesus.

Why it be?

You know the Bible?

Today?

Y'all gonna do it today?

Hey, guys, taking a quick commercial break, will be right?

Man.

Let me ask you this.

If you yes, some would assume at this level of your career, which congratulations, You've had so many things go well for so long.

Some would assume, even me, at this point, you don't have anything that goes wrong, anything that you want that doesn't come to pass.

Does that?

Do you still need these lessons?

There's still things that you want for go out for.

I don't know if you're auditioning your offer only.

First of all, I think offer only is a trap.

So really, yeah, I do.

It's nice.

It's nice for somebody to say we'd like you to do this, that's or we wrote this for you.

I've had a couple of experiences like that and it is lovely.

But when when it's an offer, I want people to remember this, there's always somebody that ain't on board, so that means when you get on set, you that person's there.

It might be the director, it might be the producer, it might be the showrunner.

There's somebody there that that didn't wanted you to audition, and they're not sure.

Now the thing is, hopefully if you're offer only, you know your your skill set enough and you've been on enough sets to know and you can win them over.

But I don't want to start by having to win you over.

I'd rather I'd rather everybody say she's the one.

Now.

I'm not saying that I don't.

I'll say no to offer only, go audition me.

Now you gonna give me, don't give to me.

But I also do not mind auditioning.

And I still audition, And I'll even tell someone that they say, we are thinking of you for this.

I'm like, let me know when you want me to put something on tape or you want me to come in, and they go, oh no, no, we're gonna offer own.

Okay, you know, but the show I did Odd couple.

Right after I left community for my dad take care of my dad.

I got a call know I was on this se I think I was on the CBS Radford lot and I ran into the showrunner of The Odd Couple.

No, that's not true.

I ran into one of the writers on The Eye Couple that used to work on Community.

That's what I ran into one of the writers and she said, Emily, and she said, Yvette, you know we were trying to we're trying to get you to come over to the Odd Couple.

We have a we're recasting a role and we'd love for you to to do the Odd Couple.

And I said, okay, that'd be great, awesome, And I left her thinking, any day this audition is going to come in.

Then a couple of weeks later, I run into a show the show runner, Bob Daily, who I'd never met before.

He said, Hi, I'm sorry you don't know any My names by Daily, I'm showrunner on Odd Couple.

We really we try, we're trying to get you.

I said yeah.

I said, no one, no one gave me any information about the audition.

He said, no, no, we want to give it to you, like, we want you to play this role.

And this was the first offered.

Like and no one had ever offered me anything.

And I was prepared after jeemn off of coming off of five years on Community.

I was prepared to go on audition for this role, and he told me, no, no, no, we just trying to get the name of your eighth like we do we need you because it's all before social media and stuff.

There was no which that's not that's a lie.

There was social media, but I guess they didn't have my knowledge it.

And then I found out when I reached out to my agent that they my agent had sent me something about the odd couple, but it didn't have an audition attachment.

So I saw it, but it didn't say you know, the little attachment like with So I never opened it.

I literally and I called agent, like, yo, they're looking for me a city, but we sent you that three weeks ago.

You never responded.

We thought you didn't want to do what I'm going through even like what so you just never know how things are going to play out.

But I've kept that feeling like I I will audition for things if you don't know for sure, if somebody's not sure about me, I absolutely WI will audition.

That is I think so good to hear.

I hope upcoming actors and creatives hear that, like you you know you this this industry, there's some people.

There's you people who who never have to do it again.

But that's not the norm.

And you've you've been working good, good hunting sixty IMDb credits, got kid.

I remember you said one time, you said, listen if you want to work or work on that first season, that first pilot, because if you only watch a little bit, they gonna watch.

The first episode, they gonna watch you.

I told you.

I didn't told people this for years, and I hope people are heeding me.

The best, the best hack of this industry is residuals.

And the best way to make sure you get them from day one.

They when a show goes into syndication is try to get on the first season of a new show.

Show ain't even got to make it, sho ain't got to make it, but the first season.

I'm forever trying to get in on the first season show because then when it went five years later, when it goes into syndication, if we still get twenty two year seasons anymore, then you're automatically in that first set of residual syndication money.

You're gonna get money, and it's gonna keep it's gonna keep.

Coming for the rest of your life might be five cent by the time it's done, but you're gonna get that good money.

Yes, personal investments follow.

And don't think I won't go back.

Listen if this, If this gets tired, I say all the time I was always hiring, I will go get a job.

I'm about to get out there.

I'll be at starbus talking about what you want to vente.

I don't got no shame in it.

I got to eat.

I got to pay this for this house.

Get it the same way.

I worked for many years before I ever booked the thing.

I would have to.

Work for thirty eight years.

Yeah, in this industry before I have done enough time that I didn't work in here.

Y'all.

I feel if I'm on your uber and you see, ain't you kept absolutely five absolutely five stars?

Please get start.

Here's here's your door dash door dash order you bet?

Yes I am, Yes, I am?

And did you want Here's a chicken.

Here's the chicken and the drink.

And I put a little piece of tape over the drink drink when I was driving because I didn't want to list.

So all your drink is in there, but here's your straw.

I ain't got no shame.

I'm from Cleveland.

We work in Cleveland.

I will work, I will work.

Oh my gods, you bet this has been fantastic.

There before we let you go, we've talked about some of your moments that are not your best.

Is there anything you're looking forward to that you're hoping is going to be some of your best moments that we can look out for when it comes out.

You know, I've got two films coming out.

I'm in a Code three with Little Rell and Rain Wilson that's coming out, and then also I'm in k Pops with UH with Anderson Parker plays mom.

And then I've got, you know, a couple of little things bubbling up of a lifetime movie coming up with Tony Braxton and my husband and I.

He plays my husband husband's actor as well.

So Tony Tony up in there playing my husband.

He booked that job.

And kisses were delicious on set because I want to kiss nobody but my husband.

I don't know how these gona be kissing random people.

I'll be like, ginger vitis is contagious.

I don't know I want your ginger vinis.

I don't know you like that?

So yeah, So Tony's Tony's my husband.

He went on and booked the roles.

That's amazing.

Well, y'all, please check out event and all the things she's done, and thank you Event for joining.

These stories were great.

I hope somebody's left here encouraged.

I sure have.

I love some of your perspectives I think will be necessary for me as I continue my care.

I love your point of view on this and I think it's a necessary one.

Thank you guys so much.

And wait, wait before you go, Before you go, they don't close it out.

I got something I want to say.

Please, please, I am so proud of you.

I have watched your career for I don't know how long I have been rooting for you.

Have I feel like I've been friends with you longer than we've been friends, because I've been rooting for you ever since I first saw you.

I think that your way of doing comedy is brilliant.

I think the way that you always keep God first is amazing.

The fact that you celebrate marriage and fatherhood and you love your wife like all of it, all of it, keV is really really necessary and wonderful.

And you prove in the same way that Tabitha proves and other people that you don't have to be wretched and hateful to make it in this business.

You can make it in this business and keep your soul intact and celebrate and support other people as you rise, and you embody that.

So I want to give you your flowers, brother, and tell you that I'm so happy that I finally got a chance to work with you, and this in disrespect and I look forward to working with you and other respects as well.

I just think you're I think you're all the things.

Thank you so much.

That means a lot to me.

I had an old viewpoint when I worked at the bank.

I you know it was it was, you know, the bank would look the other way if you could trick somebody into a into a product.

And I was like, I can't do that.

I live in the city, do it.

I don't want somebody to hit me in the back of the head with a brick because I tricked.

Them, right.

I can walk around good because I know I ain't done.

You wrong or to harm somebody, you know what I mean?

Like nothing, nothing makes me happier to hear one hundred and some credits on IMDb and I know that I didn't steal want of them jobs from nobody else.

I didn't lie, and I didn't lie to nobody to get an audition I didn't deserve, or to make sure they didn't get an audition that they did deserve.

I have not done anybody any harm in this industry, and that that makes me prouder than anything.

And that means, you know, I may not be one of the cool kids.

I don't get to go all the places and stuff because you know, I'm just not the cool kid.

But I'm okay being not the cool kid.

I'm the nice kid.

Yeah, and nicest good, nice is good, coolest.

Relative cool changes, cool changes, nice is good always.

So thank you that actually that means a lot to me.

I will cherish those little words.

I'm gonna put them in my podcast.

I appreciate it.

Thank you so much.

Thank you guys.

We'll see you next time.

This has been a Unanimous Media original Now My Best Mama was produced by iHeart Podcasts and Unanimous Media.

It was hosted by me Kevin Fredericks, Executive produced by Stephen Curry, Eric Payton and Charlotte Sumter je co executive producer Maria Cutney The executive producers of the iHeart Podcasts are Sean Titone and Jason English.

This series was produced by Peter Calter and Jabbari Davis, co producer Kurt Redman.

A special thanks to Stephen Curry and Will Pearson.

Not My Best Moment as a production of Unanimous Media and iHeart Podcasts.

For more podcasts from iHeart Radio, visit the iHeart Radio app.

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