Mel: Look, there's a street in Atlanta where I did this once.

Mel: More successfully, I will say.

Chas: Hi, I'm Chas Fisher.

Mel: And I'm Mel Killingsworth.

Chas: And welcome to Draft Zero, a podcast where two, I was going to say Australians, Chas: but one Australian and one almost Australian whenever their number comes up.

Chas: Try to work out what makes great screenplays work.

Mel: And today we're talking about physical comedy on the page.

Mel: We're talking Bringing Up Baby, the 1938 movie written by Dudley Nichols and Mel: Hagar Wilde, starring Katherine Hepburn and Cary Grant.

Mel: We're talking about the Happy Endings pilot, written by David Kasp.

Mel: And we're talking about Bridesmaids, written by Annie Mumulo and Kristen Wiig.

Mel: And my impetus for doing this is I'm writing a comedy of remarriage.

Mel: So a feature rom-com that is all about lots and lots of misunderstandings and Mel: slapstick and physical comedy.

Mel: And so I wanted to look at physical comedy on the page.

Chas: Yeah, and I leapt at this opportunity.

As long-term listeners can hear, Chas: we are missing one of our main co-hosts.

Chas: Stu is away on show, but Mel has very kindly stepped in and not only brought Chas: the topic, but also helped in the selection of the homework, Chas: which was also assisted by our Patreons.

Chas: And this is a spiritual sequel episode to one of our very early episodes on white space.

Chas: And we were looking at how can you use the page, the words on the page, Chas: to recreate the feeling of pace.

Chas: And we saw how, you know, different techniques could make time as a reader to...

Chas: Feel faster or slower and that there were different ways Chas: of doing that and when mel mentioned writing Chas: different kinds of comedy i thought all right yes physical comedy and i really Chas: we it was hard to like guide our poor patreons as to what we were looking for Chas: because i think what is in trend in comedy now is to have physical comedy moments, Chas: but there's fewer and fewer of those, you know, like Mr.

Chas: Bean kind of extended physical comedy, you know, Fawlty Towers, whatever it is.

Chas: I'm showing my British heritage here.

Chas: You know, Charlie Chaplin, Marx Brothers, like slapstick still exists, Chas: but it's often just in moments to get a laugh.

Chas: And for me, the challenge as a writer is not those Chas: moments we we thought about doing everything everywhere all Chas: at once but we're also going to table that for a future episode but Chas: so much of those when they use physical comedy in that film Chas: it's like moments to to draw a Chas: reaction and to me the Chas: challenge of just writing comedy in general Chas: is making it funny on the on the page to recreate that feeling in the in the Chas: audience but writing physical comedy just even when we were thinking about it Chas: and mulling homework i was just thinking it must be so hard because you can Chas: describe action and a lot of physical comedy is essentially like writing an action set piece.

Chas: But to write that action such that it is as funny as it looks without saying, it's hilarious.

Mel: And that's the director's problem.

Chas: So, yeah, I was really excited to get into this episode.

Chas: Mel, can you let our listeners know the constraints we were putting on in our homework selection?

Mel: Yeah.

So, we wanted to do, and throughout the discussion of this, Mel: we came up with this really interesting thing where we were working to distinguish Mel: What is screwball versus farce versus slapstick?

Mel: Because we came up with a lot of films and then it felt more like they were Mel: farce or it felt more like they were a screwball but didn't have the slapstick Mel: physical comedy we wanted.

Mel: And so I sort of was trying to nail down what is different about those.

Mel: And screwball is something that has language, plot and physicality.

Mel: Slapstick is physicality.

And it may involve language.

It may not.

Mel: It may be entirely silent.

and farce is language Mel: and plot it may involve physicality but it may not um and so plot involves like Mel: you know sometimes people are just barely miss each other going in and out of Mel: rooms it's not really physical comedy they're just sort of uh the camera is Mel: showing you you know proximity and then there's a lot of language going on um.

Chas: Yeah absolutely and i was i mean as someone who Chas: was kind of raised in in my drama degree we Chas: did a whole semester on commedia de latte so Chas: i was like ah slapstick and farce they they Chas: go hand in hand and and we got into a debate about it and ultimately you were Chas: correct that farces often have slapstick but not all farce is slapstick and Chas: and like for a recent example i think veep is satirical but it is farce.

Mel: So much farce but.

Chas: It's not slapstick.

Mel: A few moments yes slapstick and that's Mel: fine but it is overall farce um and Mel: then you have something like screwball which uh i'm Mel: bringing up baby is what we landed on but there Mel: were several that i wanted to do so you look at something like Mel: charade which is definitely a farce that has some slapstick you look at um one Mel: of my all-time favorites his girl friday which is a screwball because it has Mel: all of the above every scene has plot language and physicality and they're all Mel: going at 100 miles per hour yeah.

Chas: And i mean stew and i uh whenever we bring you on mel Like, you're always like, Chas: oh, we should do this amazing film from, like, the 1940s.

And we're all like, no.

Chas: Cinematic and screenwriting language has moved on from there.

Mel: That's like saying we shouldn't study Shakespeare anymore if we want to write novels.

I mean...

Mel: Yes, there are differences.

I do admit there are absolutely differences.

Mel: But every couple of months on screenwriting Twitter, the argument pops up that Mel: like once you learn the rules, you should break them and you should do what works.

Mel: And so if you're going to do what works and you're limiting yourself to reading Mel: stuff that has been written in the last 10 to 15 years, I think that's a massive mistake.

Mel: And one of the really interesting things although of the scripts that i could Mel: find i really wanted to do a scene from charade couldn't find the script of Mel: all the scripts that i could find bringing up baby is actually probably the Mel: most that is obviously quote-unquote of its time.

Mel: There's actually a lot of things it does similar to Mel: bridesmaids which is really interesting but i do think it's Mel: of its time and yet i still got a lot out of reading how Mel: it did it and one of the other things that i think with the Mel: three scripts we landed on that is really interesting is that we Mel: chose three scripts that do three different types of Mel: slapstick so bringing a baby is mostly Mel: involving vehicles and a car there's there's there's cars Mel: going on and things like that in happy endings Mel: it's the whole scene has a lot of slapstick moments but Mel: it's an it's an ensemble piece and they're small moments and at one moment Mel: they involve this item and the other moment they Mel: involve a different item and it keeps moving on moving Mel: around the room and doing different things and then bridesmaids it's Mel: essentially one big event with all of these characters and the event goes for Mel: like four minutes so you've got and and it it's physical comedy as opposed to Mel: something like bringing a baby which is you know this giant machine being wielded Mel: around so it's definitely three that uh i think have had different strengths which is great and.

Chas: It was it was challenging for us to find scripts because this is a an episode Chas: where there was no point if we couldn't find the scripts for projects.

Chas: So, Sue and I in previous episodes, we've looked at Game Night, Chas: where that entire amazing, you know, stitched together, seeming one-shot chase Chas: of the Fabergé egg around the house.

Chas: In the script, it says, Boomer pursues whoever holds the egg and it turns into Chas: a high stakes game of hot potato.

Chas: You know, like that entire sequence, that's screenwriters enjoying themselves Chas: and handballing the problem straight to the director.

Chas: Um, although I think there might've been right directors on that.

Mel: Uh, Stu has a whole breakdown of it on ShotZero and he talks about the previs Mel: and a bunch of other things.

So, you know, insert plug here.

Chas: All right.

So the screenplay credits are by Mark Perez, uh, revisions by Dana Chas: Fox and Catherine Silverman.

Chas: Current revisions of the version I'm looking at is Jonathan Goldstein and John Francis Daly.

Chas: And then, you know, we've looked at that wonderful bit of clowning that Ryan Chas: Gosling does in Nice Guys in the toilet stall where he drops the cigarette and Chas: it's brilliant and it looks like he's improvised it.

Chas: But then when we went to the script, it's actually beat for beat in there.

Chas: But A, we've done those projects and we want to look at new ones.

Chas: And B, we, like I said, we want, I wanted in particular extended Chas: ones so that you could get that sense of geography what's Chas: the movement within the the scene and um Chas: and above all how to make something that is going Chas: to become more and more technical in terms Chas: of what you're trying to explain to the reader is going on Chas: and how do you make that funny because i Chas: think you can make technical stuff in an action scene Chas: feel tense and dangerous quite easily Chas: uh you know maybe that's just me betraying my biases as a writer but you know Chas: bam dash dash oh no like i feel like you can inject the feeling that you want Chas: more easily in straight up action than it is to inject humor into a more technical scene and.

Mel: Even with that with the thing you're saying about action right you have the Mel: crashing you have you know bam you have gunshots you have things going off you Mel: can't just tell the writer haha.

Chas: Funny you.

Mel: Know you have to it has to be funny.

Chas: I mean i can't remember what script it is now if you were here he would remember Chas: but i think we did look at one bit of big print which ended with like it's hilarious Chas: full stop like it's just telling us how to feel about the what we've just read no.

Mel: Pressure on the.

Chas: Actors or anything there well uh no pressure on the director in the end of this Chas: sequence from bringing up baby so.

Excerpts: No, but if you'd only let me explain.

You see, I just gave someone that bad girl and that...

Excerpts: I hope you've realised that you've made a perfect fool of yourself in front Excerpts: of everyone.

Have you finished?

Yes, yes, I have.

Thank you very much.

Oh.

Excerpts: You lied to me.

Yes, but just a little bit.

I mean, no, no, no.

Excerpts: It's a ridiculous story about a leopard.

But it is a ridiculous story.

Excerpts: I have a leopard.

Where is the leopard?

In there.

Chas: But what I thought we might do for each of these scenes is obviously we've brought Chas: scenes from different parts of the of these films.

Chas: So we have to give kind of a broad summary of the film, where we are in the story.

Chas: And I think what happens in the scene will probably play audio from the scenes.

Chas: But the whole point of this is you're probably not, dear listener in this audio Chas: format, going to understand necessarily what is going on that we want to describe on the page.

Chas: And then we'll probably dive into favorite moments and techniques actually on Chas: the page in the big print.

Chas: And I do think in comedy, it's especially challenging to get readers to read Chas: the big print.

You know, so much of the humour comes from the dialogue, Chas: and comedy is such a dialogue.

Chas: Often, certainly contemporary comedy is so dialogue-driven.

Chas: I can imagine readers just never reading the action lines at all.

Chas: All right.

Well, Mel, given Bringing Up Baby is your baby, do you want to pitch or summarize?

Mel: I'll summarize.

This is quite, it's actually easier because this happens near Mel: the beginning of the film.

Chas: Yeah.

Mel: So David, who is played by Cary Grant and Catherine Hepburn, Mel: who plays Susan, have met just once before.

Mel: And this is essentially, you know, it was hate at first sight.

Mel: And now we have their second big meeting.

Mel: And so the idea of like first impression, second impression is terrible.

Mel: So David is out golfing and trying to make a good impression on Mr.

Mel: Peabody, who will factor into the scene later.

Mel: And then the scene commences.

Uh, if you, the screenplay is available online Mel: and it essentially starts on page 10.

Chas: We'll put, we'll put links in the show notes.

Mel: And this scene starts with very little dialogue.

Mel: It's almost entirely what's happening and describing all of the physicality Mel: and for, for a couple of pages until suddenly the dialogue really starts cracking.

Chas: Yeah.

I mean, so broadly the movement of the scene, you know, Chas: Susan steals David's ball and plays it and he's kind of grumpy and interacting with Susan while Mr.

Chas: Peabody's getting frustrated that David isn't playing with him.

Chas: And that is delightful back and forth.

Excerpts: You shouldn't do that, you know.

But that...

What shouldn't I do?

Excerpts: Talk while someone's shooting.

Excerpts: Well, anyway, I forgive you because I got a good shot.

But you don't understand.

Excerpts: See, there it is, right next to the pin.

But that has nothing to do with it.

Excerpts: Oh, are you playing through?

No, I've just driven off the first tee.

Excerpts: I see you're a stranger here.

Excerpts: You should be over there.

This is the 18th fairway, and I'm right on the green.

Excerpts: If I think this part, I'm going to beat my record.

I'll be with you in a minute.

Mel: It's 207...

The screenplay's 207 pages, and the movie's about 90 minutes.

So it whips.

Chas: Yeah.

So Susan finishes the 18th hole with David's ball and leaves.

Chas: And then David resumes playing with Mr.

Peabody.

Chas: And Susan begins, gets to her car and starts driving, trying to drive out of Chas: the car park while seemingly crashing into every car in the car park.

Chas: But in particular, David's.

Excerpts: Hey, mister, I think that's your car.

Excerpts: Hey hey oh i'll be with you in a minute mr peabody.

Chas: And what i actually love about this is so Chas: i'm i'm on page 10 now and what you have is the david is at the first tee and Chas: uh susan is in the car park and this is one of those times where like my modern Chas: instinct is to establish the two locations and then ease the reader in, Chas: you know, and I think this is my big observation from actually how well Bringing Chas: Up Baby does on the page is its geography and the sluglines actually help.

Chas: Because it gives you a mental bit.

It's almost like an edit.

Chas: You know that you're cutting from her to him whenever you see a slug line.

Chas: And I guess because it's only two locations, you're not having to read the slug Chas: line necessarily.

You just know you've moved from her to him.

Mel: Yeah.

And the other thing that's interesting is it tells you, Mel: it kind of tells you whose point of view you're in because especially at the start, Mel: he ends up walking over to her at the Mel: car and then everything's sort of happening there and then Mel: you're cutting back to where mr peabody's looking on but at Mel: the start david enters and doggedly tees his Mel: ball again rather grimly he takes a driver from Mel: the caddy so you're with david right and then the automobile starts honking Mel: the sound throws him off balance he drops his club he gets startled you're still Mel: with him cut to the exterior parking space day so the first time we see there Mel: there's a little uh there's a slug line And then under that in all caps is what Mel: he sees colon in the parking space nearby.

Mel: Susan is trying to move.

So you are still with him and his point of view.

Chas: Yeah.

Mel: He's thrown off and he looks over and sees Susan trying to back her roadster out.

Mel: Then you're back with David exterior at first T day, all these things happen.

Mel: And then it starts doing that cutting back and forth.

And it's, it's quick.

Mel: It's, it's, there's two lines and then we're back with David and there's two Mel: lines and then we're back and then there's four lines and they're back.

Mel: And so it, you're right, the slug lines mimic the editing and how quickly this is all happening.

Mel: And it really drives the pacing because yeah, it's just action lines so far, Mel: but it's not, there's quite a lot of white space on the page because you're Mel: going back and forth between what's happening in each location quite quickly.

Chas: Yeah.

I mean, so part of my resistance to doing like older screenplays is like Chas: the, not just the fashion, the style of how screenplays written have changed since then.

Chas: So one of the things that seems unusual for me is that there doesn't, Chas: they don't seem to use paragraphs within a scene very often in action lines.

Chas: So at the top of that page, we've got a one, two, three, four, Chas: five, six, seven, eight, nine line.

Chas: Paragraph but it's still they've still Chas: like carefully measured the sentences it reads very quickly Chas: they use m dashes like other than Chas: breaking up those paragraphs now there isn't Chas: much that would change to to update this script and i just want to make an observation Chas: on this particular page that we'll come back to i think we'll we'll do it again Chas: and again because i think it's important for what's one of my takeaways from Chas: writing physical comedy is that the the words on the page.

Chas: Mimic the repetition that we're seeing in the comedy so Chas: you know as he lifts his club for the swing an automobile horn Chas: toots nearby he doesn't look around but the sound throws him Chas: off balance he drops his club and raises for another swing Chas: another horn which distracts him as he raises Chas: his club again determinably there is a crash of a Chas: bumper against the bumper he lowers his club grimly and Chas: looks around so there's lots of words like hooking Chas: in from sentence to sentence like they don't try Chas: and look for different words for raising his club they Chas: use you know repeating the word another um Chas: across sentences to tie it together and then Chas: going down the page like he raises Chas: his club again and this time there is a terrific crash slowly he Chas: lowers his club and looks around like and finally uh david suddenly drops his Chas: club and strides out so that like the words on the page and the repetition are Chas: yeah mimicking the edit we can see we can visualize the humor and the and the repetition of it yeah.

Mel: There's the even the like like some of the onomatopoeia words you've got like Mel: smacked repeats a few times and like toots and like things like that so you've Mel: got the you know and a lot of comedy is you know rule of threes and all that.

Chas: And It.

Mel: Happens in the writing as well.

Chas: I mean, so then it moves from him being distracted from his golf game to her Chas: accidentally locking her car bumper with his car bumper and she's like towing Chas: his car around the car park and he rushes to try and get in the car.

Chas: Now, I have seen Bringing Up Baby, but it's been 20 years.

Chas: So, I can't actually visualize this.

I was, uh, what I, what I do appreciate Chas: about the script is it very much made me see what is, what I imagine is going on on screen, uh, Chas: very well without feeling like it's over explaining, you know, there's some, uh, Chas: camera direction and stuff like that, that we probably wouldn't do now, but.

Mel: But most of the camera direction Mel: in this scene is for things that are actually Mel: required because of a visual gag not all Mel: of it there is more but there's a couple of visual gags where Mel: for example we're in peabody's point of view and the Mel: part of the point is that peabody can see what Mel: david's doing but can't see that he's on the running board Mel: of the car for example and so it shows him so that the Mel: camera it says you know camera medium long shot above the hedge that sort of Mel: direction is important because otherwise because the humor is coming from the Mel: fact that we the audience know what's happening below the hedge but peabody Mel: doesn't and the camera rather the camera direction is what's pointing that out to the reader yeah.

Chas: Because uh like you said and and what we had before with very firmly in whose point of view are we.

Mel: Um so.

Chas: Peabody is now at the first tee and now both Susan and David are in the car Chas: park in their cars and it clearly says on page 12 what he sees, referring to Peabody, Chas: is the shot of head and shoulders of David above the hedge, right?

Chas: Susan and her car are concealed by the hedge.

So we understand the visual nature Chas: of the gag is that David is like moving back and forth behind his hedge trying Chas: to have a conversation with Mr.

Chas: Peabody while trying to shout at Susan to let her know what's going on.

Excerpts: Look, let me drive this car.

Oh, it's alright.

It's an old wreck anyway.

Excerpts: It doesn't matter.

Well, you don't understand.

This is my car.

Excerpts: You mean this is your car?

Of course.

Your golf ball?

Your car?

Excerpts: Is there anything in the world that doesn't belong to you?

Excerpts: Yes, thank heaven.

You!

Now, don't lose your temper.

Excerpts: My dear young lady, I'm not losing my temper.

I'm merely trying to play some golf.

Excerpts: When you choose the funniest places, this is a parking lot.

Will you get out of my car?

Excerpts: Will you get off my running board?

This is my running board!

Excerpts: All right, honey, stay there.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Mr.

Excerpts: I'll be with you in a minute, Mr.

Peabody.

Mel: And less the bridesmaids scene, although it does use a few anti-sees, we here, etc.

Mel: But the happy ending scene, instead of using camera directions, Mel: it says how the characters look.

Mel: So there's a scene or there's sorry, there's a gag in happy endings where it's Mel: really important that the audience hasn't seen something until the camera pans left.

Mel: And instead of saying that the camera pans left, which is what bringing a baby's Mel: done, it says everybody looks to the left.

so it's it's getting across the same Mel: idea it's just bringing it baby is a little more technical about it.

Chas: Yeah and i think if they had written just Chas: the action you wouldn't get the framing that is funny right the thing that's Chas: funny about this thing yes it's inherently funny that susan is unaware that Chas: she's towing not just david's car but david standing she's aware and blithely enjoying it.

Mel: But you know.

Chas: Yeah, the word blithely is definitely used.

But the fact that it says, Chas: camera is now on the opposite side of the hedge so that we see clearly David's predicament.

Chas: David turns and waves helplessly at Peabody as he rolls past.

Chas: So, you know, we've been given both Peabody's experience of just seeing David Chas: rolling back and forth and we've got like-

Mel: We see clearly.

Chas: The much more kind of dangerous, fun stunt of David being in the car as well.

Chas: And I do like that, you know, we've got full shot parking space as Susan gathering Chas: speed tows David around a lane that brings him past the hedge again.

Chas: Peabody watches amazedly his head turning.

Sorry, I skipped the slug line there, Chas: but it allows us to visualize there's the stunt and there's the gag of going, Chas: David is back, just zooming across behind the head from Peabody's perspective.

Mel: But I think that just demonstrates your point that once you've established the Mel: two places, your brain is going, okay, it's almost like we would use intercut Mel: now, except it is being very clear.

Mel: Okay, now we're here.

Now we're there.

Your brain is kind of, Mel: okay, I get that the slug line's there.

Now we're with Peabody when you're reading it.

Chas: Yeah.

And the first time David glides past the hedge, he waves helplessly at Peabody.

Chas: And then the second time he turns and waves placatingly.

Chas: So, look, I'm going to be upfront that reading the script, it didn't make me laugh.

Chas: Whereas reading the other ones, I actually laughed out loud.

Chas: But what it did do is give me a really clear sense of the geography and it gave Chas: me such a good sense of the geography and such a good sense of the edit and Chas: such a good sense of the uh framing, Chas: that i could see that it would be funny on screen and.

Mel: It is i mean and not to uh if you if you read the next scene which we're not Mel: doing for this i just want to touch.

Chas: On it really.

Mel: Quickly if you.

Mel: Two things that are really great Mel: about it is first, it's a complete juxtaposition is a white tie event.

Mel: So you've got this, you know, these people who are outside doing sport and riding Mel: around in cars and doing this.

Mel: And then the next scene is at a white tie event where they run into each other again.

Mel: And there's a gag where David slips on an olive like Susan has thrown an olive Mel: pit on the floor and David slips on it.

Mel: And it's clearly written in a way that you it's meant to be funny because you Mel: see the feet and then the feet fly up out of out of screen and then whatever.

Mel: So it's clearly written in a way where you can tell it's David, Mel: but it's not meant to perform.

And then they cast Cary Grant.

Mel: So they cast a former acrobat and they shoot it completely differently.

Mel: It's shot to be like funny in that in that way of like the feet fly out of frame.

Mel: And then he just actually performs the stunt.

Mel: So I think, yeah, they're clearly writing with an idea towards helping you picture Mel: the final product and how you can accomplish the type of humor that they're Mel: going for, which is physicality plus that rapid fire.

Mel: Because once the dialogue does start with the car, you know, Mel: the car stuff is still going.

Mel: You know, David climbs on the car, student starts to back out and they're going Mel: back and forth while he's riding around towards the parking space going, Mel: there's no need to lose your temper.

Mel: David quietly frenzied.

I'm not losing my temper.

Mel: You know, it's, they're, they're giving you the clear idea while the dialogue Mel: is establishing their relationship.

Chas: Yeah.

I mean, so the scene, or the sequence rather, moves from David basically Chas: trying to stop his car being towed while keeping Mr.

Peabody on the course.

Chas: Mr.

Peabody walks off.

And so David can then basically Chas: fully engaged with susan he breaks forcing Chas: her to acknowledge his existence that she's Chas: towing him around and then she wraps Chas: his car or uh hits it runs it into a tree separates her car but then also like Chas: keeps coming back and banging into him and then david start like it's a lovely Chas: character shift that for the first time he loses his temper he looks after her Chas: car as it rolls away down the driveway, Chas: then on a mad impulse, drops into gear and follows.

Chas: As she goes out of the gate, he comes round and past her and scrapes her front fender.

Her eyes flash.

Chas: She pursues him and takes off his fender.

Chas: They keep up this game, ad lib, director, until finally no fenders are left Chas: on either car and David is in a ditch.

Chas: So they do finally, the writers at the end of that, do finally do the game night cheat.

Chas: Like, yeah, you guys can just sort out how this plays out until there are no Chas: fenders left and one's in a ditch, but they've done so well to almost earn that crescendo and- Chas: been all the character beats have played out.

Mel: I think also um there's an Mel: interesting part which i discovered has happened in Mel: all three of the scripts that we ended up picking which is Mel: that there are pieces of this scene that Mel: appear in a different order than they are in the Mel: script but the pieces as they Mel: are are so written quite similarly but they are edited in Mel: quite a different order that does shift the overall Mel: arc of the scene and all three of these have scripts have Mel: done that where there's bits that have been moved around Mel: and not shot in that order if you watch them next to the scene which Mel: is quite interesting so they're filming it and they've got these two actors and Mel: clearly how it's written is with the Mel: physical comedy in mind but then you have these actors in in all of these cases Mel: you have these great comedic actors and sometimes when they're in a flow of Mel: things actually it works better to do it you know to let this flow and then Mel: do this gag this way etc which is quite interesting that we got three that they Mel: keep all the bits but rearrange them in post?

Chas: I mean, I guess we can credit the editors for making a decision and assume that Chas: maybe it was shot that way.

Chas: Who knows but what in this particular one what was the rearranging what what got moved around.

Mel: Um i marked it uh okay Mel: so where susan uh Mel: toes uh the head and shoulders of david david standing on his car blithely towing Mel: him around it happens much later okay so it goes they actually start arguing Mel: a bit more and uh you know uh he says i'll be with you in a minute but then Mel: he and Susan started having a bit more back and forth.

Mel: And all of that bit is bumped to a little bit later.

Mel: So clearly they just wanted to get into the chemistry of the two of them a little Mel: bit sooner before they came back with the visual gag.

Chas: And maybe it would have been harder to play her being blithely unaware of her towing his car.

Chas: So, you know, maybe it wasn't, they couldn't sell him shouting at her and her Chas: either being unaware or just...

Mel: Or feigning unawareness.

Chas: Yeah.

Oh, what a good word.

Fain.

That's a word of word that will trip you up.

Mel: Yeah.

I mean, I've said it, but I'm also very well aware that it might be spelled Mel: differently than there.

Mel: And there's 18 different potential ways to spell it.

So I've given up at this point.

Mel: I'm sure that there's an E in there somewhere that I don't believe there should be.

Chas: So as much as I've, you know, Chas: rubbished and resisted your 1940s homework selections, Chas: this is this is well worth a read like Chas: i flew through these 10 pages and well 17 Chas: pages uh and the fact that the script is like you Chas: said 202 pages long and yet the film is Chas: 90 minutes is uh does not surprise me at all and frankly i think the only thing Chas: that would change in modern times is just breaking up those paragraphs a little Chas: but i don't think the words on the page would necessarily change or their cadence or their repetition.

Chas: And the big thing I took out of this was actually good use of slug lines, Chas: like setting up the geography and the gags and the visualization so well.

Mel: I would encourage, I ended up reading the whole next scene and getting a lot out of that as well.

Mel: And I think they're both so different that if you are really interested, Mel: I would definitely say to sort of read the two of them together and see how Mel: they do things differently.

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Excerpts: And now for the third hour of a screenwriting podcast.

Except this episode is like 90 minutes.

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Mel: Let's move on to Happy Endings.

Chas: So one of the other constraints that we decided in choosing our homework for Chas: physical comedy is we both, I think, instinctively wanted to do live action Chas: physical comedy, not animation.

Chas: Because obviously physical humor is a big part of contemporary animation.

Chas: We're almost in a golden age, particularly of adult animation right now, Chas: and there's so much physical humor in there, but I think we both wanted that Chas: constraint of writing something that human beings could theoretically do.

Chas: Now I know we're in the age of CGI.

Mel: And we tend to prefer cgi in Mel: our action and not in our comedy yeah partly because Mel: i think part of the thing is that's funny is the concept Mel: of real people potentially getting hurt but not or actually having to land that Mel: pratfall yeah whereas when it comes to action you know we just want things to Mel: be to be bigger and better but in in comedy slapping someone across the face Mel: is still funny yeah and And doing it for real is the only way to really make it funny.

Mel: And by for real, of course, I mean timing and hoping that your scene partner Mel: turns the right way and et cetera, et cetera.

Chas: Yeah.

But what we were aware of or we felt instinctively is that there were Chas: more of these extended comedy sequences in film.

Chas: Television now than they are in cinema.

Chas: I mean, that said, we were constrained by scripts.

Chas: So, I really wanted to do Joyride because I think that has got the cocaine scene Chas: in the train and then also the threesome is fucking hysterical.

Chas: And even if they'd written it's a threesome, it's fucking hysterical.

Chas: Like, I would have been happy to have read that.

But unfortunately we couldn't Chas: find the Joyride script other than me learning that it was the original title Chas: was the Joy Fuck Club which I wish they had.

Mel: Kept they fought for it I had a hard time finding this specific TV scripts that Mel: I wanted because I think oh right I want this scene but a lot of times in TV Mel: shows there if you can find the script out there, Mel: it's not the one that you're particularly after at any given time it's always.

Chas: The Emmy campaign.

Mel: Ones and sometimes it's later in the seasons whereas with happy endings it's Mel: the pilot so if you haven't seen it it'll take you about five minutes to uh you know watch the bit.

Excerpts: The six of us have been friends forever so when alex and i decided to get married Excerpts: it was going to be the greatest day of all our lives instead it turned into Excerpts: a bad matthew mcconaughey movie alex i love you what's happening here come with Excerpts: me i'm sorry i can't do this, Excerpts: I'm sure she's totally regretting that decision.

It's going to be okay, Excerpts: I promise you.

Huge game changer.

Huge.

Excerpts: When friends have been together this long, nothing can break them up.

Excerpts: It's not even a breakup.

I can't believe that you got the white trash tourist braids.

Excerpts: You look like Predator.

I feel like you're going to rip my spine out and keep Excerpts: my skull as a trophy.

I'm sorry.

Excerpts: You're the only girl I've ever even liked.

I literally can't even picture myself Excerpts: with another woman ever again for the rest of my life.

Have you seen my tongue ring?

Excerpts: God, I hope I didn't swallow another one.

Mel: Originally, I had picked the opening scene because I remember the opening scene, Mel: you know, guy and rollerblades and all that.

Mel: And we ended up, I'll touch on that scene real quick, but we ended up going Mel: a couple pages later to Alex and David's house.

Mel: This is, I just now bumped on the fact that it's Dave and David that we've picked, Mel: which is very confusing.

Mel: I was like, Dave, that's not right.

No, yes, it is.

um at Mel: alex and david's house and seeing how there's this longer sort Mel: of uh ensemble physical Mel: comedy bits going on over and over but in i Mel: do think that the it's worth reading Mel: the first couple pages how they set up Mel: the guy on rollerblades which sets the entire Mel: tone for the show being that you know that 10 Mel: more ridiculous and and characters who are willing to Mel: go a long way for a joke or an elopement as Mel: it were um you know you've got hot guy races through Mel: the streets of chicago like the end of a shitty rom-com he Mel: whips around the corner and gridlock he's trapped and it both does it sets the Mel: tone for the thing but if you're reading there's a every time i'm emphasizing Mel: a word it's all caps there's a lot of exclamation points and as a tv script it was Mel: interesting that how much they use a lot of all caps and parentheticals and Mel: things like that i found that really interesting like very very heavily i.

Chas: Mean the that opening scene like i i'm glad you pointed that out because i think Chas: what it did really well and i've uh banged on a lot about you know one of brian Chas: duffield's early scripts having like the most unfilmable gags in its action line, Chas: but they go towards tone, right?

Chas: So, all that stuff like, you know, the worst rom-com is making you go, Chas: oh, this is deliberate, right?

This is, Chas: satire or spoof, right?

You're not reading this thinking, oh, Chas: this is the worst rom-com.

Chas: It's like they are aware that that's what they want you to be feeling, Chas: but that it's going to be a funny version of that.

Chas: So, that goes to great lengths.

But there was a particular gag in this opening Chas: sequence that you wanted to get to.

Chas: And so, this is the only one that I've never seen at all.

Chas: It wasn't available on any of my many streaming services.

Chas: So, I read it and I was like, you know I was reading through this script and Chas: I'm like I've got a good idea of the tone of this I've got a good idea of these Chas: characters and I know that it's funny from the dialogue but I was almost about Chas: to text you one of my classic like Mel you've picked a you've missed the brief again, Chas: but then we got to that amazing scene later.

Mel: I do think it's interesting though in the opening scene, Mel: that it does tell it also gives Mel: us camera movements so it says we slowly pull the Mel: camera back away from them and then the camera goes back into Mel: the church like it is giving us camera movements as well because that is part Mel: of not just the tone but like what we see which which happens uh quite a bit Mel: in the next scene now i will note that this is definitely of the three be the Mel: most changed from the script.

Mel: And it takes, it cuts one gag entirely, and it, oh, first of all, Mel: interior Dave and Alex's apartment day.

Mel: It says it opens with Springsteen's She's the One blaring, actually opens with Mel: Indigo Girls' Closer to Fine blaring.

Excellent choice.

Excerpts: Alex.

Oh, hey, guys.

Mel: But most of the rest of it is the same, except one of the really interesting Mel: things I noticed now, it's not about there are a lot of action lines.

Mel: There's a lot of physical gags.

But what I realized was there's a lot more dialogue, Mel: particularly from Dave than there is in the script.

Mel: It's the same basic content, but they give way more lines.

And what I realized Mel: is that when they started actually blocking the physicality, Mel: they needed him to keep talking to get from one place to the other, Mel: from one gag to the other.

Mel: So on the top of page nine, he has like four lines about, oh, Mel: pretty good.

I came up with an awesome new drink.

Mel: And he probably has about 10 to 12 lines minimum that he's riffing on because Mel: he has to get up, greet his friends.

Mel: We have to see that he's in the boxers.

he has to walk across pull the blender Mel: out of the box so while he's doing all of the physicality that happen as the Mel: action lines are written they've realized we don't have enough dialogue to to Mel: to make this interesting as it goes so they've had to give more things for him Mel: to say as he does things yeah.

Chas: I mean that's fascinating and we'll we'll play the the dialogue here is you Chas: know pretty good i came up with an awesome new drink who wants to be the first Chas: customer to try my world-famous beer float.

Chas: So that's what's on the page and now we will excerpt what he actually has to say.

Excerpts: What's up?

Hey, how you doing?

Excerpts: Sweetie.

Great, really great.

I'm kicking ass.

I've been doing lots of stuff.

Excerpts: Taking online yoga, meeting great people.

They're calling me Bodhi, Excerpts: which is awesome because of Point Break.

Excerpts: Been watching that a lot.

Totally holds up.

what happened to laurie betty right Excerpts: oh i invented a new drink who wants to try a gin smoothie crazy a little bit Excerpts: of this a lot of that sidebar petty thanks to the blender it's awesome.

Chas: But what you're going to is the need because they probably could have done it Chas: as shot oh sorry as scripted where you've got these short dialogue scenes and Chas: cutting to the gag but then that edit would have cut out the physical humour of it.

Chas: The dialogue was insufficient to have the space to set up the gags.

Chas: And one of the really good things I think about this scene and how it's written Chas: on the page is it has two running...

Chas: Gags that it sets up on the page very early on in the scene.

Chas: Now, the first one is the one that develops and develops and develops, Chas: which is David has just been left at the altar by his fiance for Rollerblades hot guy.

Chas: And not only that, she's gone on their pre-purchased honeymoon together.

Chas: And Dave's been for a week, you know, wallowing, wallowing in their apartment.

Mel: And using all of the wedding gifts.

Chas: Yeah.

So Springsteen, she's the one blares in the messy room.

Chas: Shades drawn photos, bottles, wrapping paper strewn everywhere.

Chas: The place is packed with unwrapped slash opened wedding gifts.

Chas: Find Dave tucks tie undone, disheveled on the couch, blanket over his lap.

Chas: He sings along as he opens gifts and arranges a fancy Chas: place setting on the coffee table with some of them plate silverware Chas: napkin etc so it takes a bit of time to set this Chas: up but what that then allows is that Chas: later in the scene every action line is nothing but him opening and using and Chas: abusing a new wedding gift and it it's like they take that time at the beginning Chas: of the scene to then allow those like quick physical humor beats to happen later on and.

Mel: The things actually So a few pages later, as all of his friends are talking, Mel: it continually will just drop a little bit of an action line about what David is doing.

Mel: Like David blows his nose.

David sips the beer float, which which keeps him Mel: front of mind because he's the point.

Mel: But it brings back those items.

He literally blows his nose into the napkin Mel: that was the place setting.

Mel: You know, so those.

Yeah, it sets the scene.

It's something that you would, Mel: in theory, see in two seconds on the screen.

Mel: But all those things come back around, which is which is really great.

Chas: I mean, in one of them, like, David drops back down onto the couch, destroyed.

Chas: A toaster dings.

And I was like, oh, it's the toaster in the kitchen.

Chas: Like, I immediately think toaster kitchen.

Chas: But the writers know that.

And so, they say, a toaster, in brackets, gift, dings.

Chas: So, now, without them having to say that it's with arm's reach of him on the Chas: couch, Just from saying gift in brackets, I now know that that toaster is plugged Chas: in and within arm's reach of the couch.

Mel: Which is a really good takeaway for me because I've got this one long scene Mel: that I've been writing that uses several different things that are around the Mel: room and thinking about how sometimes you have to stop and say, Mel: oh, you know, the Kleenex box is on top of the Chiffer robot, whatever.

Mel: If you just set it all up at the beginning, it doesn't necessarily stop your flow.

Mel: Now, there's a balance to be had there.

Sometimes you don't want to know about that.

Mel: Kleenex box until you need to use it but yeah here because so many of the gags Mel: use the gifts having taking that time to set that all up at the beginning really Mel: pays off because then it can just flow yeah.

Chas: I mean so I'm just going to read through the gags and look maybe we'll we'll, Chas: will intersperse the dialogue from the actual show.

Chas: So half of page eight was basically setting up the visuals of the room, Chas: right?

So it's doing all that setup.

Chas: Page nine is pretty much all dialogue other than the beat that you've already Chas: pointed out, which he grabs a blender out of gift box, scoops ice cream into Chas: it, pours beer over it, then holds it out to them beat.

Mel: And it's action, action, action, action, grabs a blender, scoops the ice cream, Mel: pours beer.

But real quick, before you finish the rest of this, Mel: at the very bottom of page eight, it says italics equal baby voice.

Chas: Oh, yeah.

Mel: And then throughout the next few pages, his friends will sometimes drop into Mel: baby voice when they're talking to him.

Like, they're trying to be really gentle and not scare the baby.

Mel: So it sets that up and then it'll just keep using it.

Chas: Yeah, because that was the second running gag.

And I'm like, Chas: initially, I was like, why are they doing that?

Chas: And then I realized, because, again, that was right in that early setup when Chas: the characters have come, the friends have come in.

and it says, Chas: yeah, in square brackets, italics equal baby voice.

I'm like, why have they done that?

Chas: And then it's because every single character at a certain point uses the baby voice.

Chas: So it's funny on the page as well, like a line that might not have been so funny.

Chas: You're imagining without them every time having to go parenthetical baby voice.

Mel: Because we've all been there, right?

Whichever side of it we're on, we've Mel: all either been in the group of friends you've been the one where the group Mel: of friends have come before Mel: and it starts becoming contagious and you're like oh all of you at some point Mel: are doing this to me or you know you you suddenly realized to your friend that Mel: oh we're all just oh honey it's okay so yeah they mention it and then it'll Mel: keep coming back but they don't need to you're right do the do the parentheticals every time all.

Chas: Right so uh forgive me for my uh performance interspersed with the uh excerpts Chas: but let's see how this comes out.

Chas: If I don't do that and these are just the gags, these are the gags done in the action line.

Chas: Dave pulls out a piece of toast, takes a sad bite.

Chas: Dave sips the beer float, recoils disgusted, then wipes his mouth with the linen Chas: napkin from the play setting.

Chas: Dave blows his nose into the napkin.

This was the one that you were referring to earlier.

Excerpts: Dave, you're giving off a real Howard Hughes vibe here.

I feel like you're about Excerpts: 10 minutes away from storing your urine in jars.

Excerpts: Let's go get you some food.

I just ate three French bread pizzas and most of Excerpts: the world's largest chocolate bread.

Chas: They, the friends, look left to see an fao schwartz sized chocolate groom and Chas: the disemboweled bottom half of the bride beat i.

Excerpts: Left the hand to hold.

Mel: If that's interesting you say that because the next Mel: part that whole flashback part is the part that they've completely cut out Mel: so it simply continues all right the Mel: gags okay it goes to david lays down on the couch defeated and pulls a nice Mel: blanket gift tag visible over himself beat the friends don't know what to do Mel: so it's actually realized that that flashback scene has interrupted the flow Mel: of all of these gags that are going and it skips that entirely so.

Chas: What is impressive i think about they've taken the time up front in the scene Chas: to set up the geography and the layout of the room and two running gags so the Chas: the baby voice running gag but That's a performance one, but they've set it up for the reader.

Chas: It becomes funnier for the reader because I'm now like waiting to go, Chas: who's going to talk in baby voice next.

Chas: But then by doing all the gifts and setting that up, I am seeing those gags Chas: and I'm laughing at them as he uses and abuses each of these wedding gifts one after another.

Chas: And it's painting a picture for me of the whole room as he moves from one to the other.

Chas: It's uh yeah it's a this was Chas: an excellent scene to pick and i was originally going to say you know you've Chas: missed the brief the only funny thing that's in the first scene is the word Chas: rollerblades but this one despite being a very dialogue heavy scene does the Chas: physical humor on the page perfectly because the physical humor is almost completely Chas: disconnected from the dialogue.

Mel: Yeah i think in the first scene it's there's a there's a couple of moments and Mel: this is about it being interspersed through the scene because i started reading Mel: it and i texted you i was like actually we should do the next thing actually Mel: no we should and then you were like we should just do the next thing like yeah that one um.

Chas: But do you have anything else you want to observe from.

Mel: No i think there there are still one or two parentheticals in there and what's Mel: interesting to me is like so you get this moment where brad and then it goes Mel: parentheses re beer float and parentheses and it's something that's not strictly Mel: physical comedy but it's where the lines are telling you what he's referencing, Mel: what he's looking at, referring to.

Mel: You give the actor a moment to sort of really react to that because there's Mel: all these bits going.

You have a few...

Mel: Bits again where we a lot of those sort Mel: of all caps like when a toaster gift dings a Mel: toaster dings is in all caps with an exclamation point yeah Mel: so there's a lot of those different things going on like Mel: fao schwartz size chocolate groom and the Mel: disemboweled bottom half of the bride all in caps yeah Mel: you know um and in the actual film Mel: scene there's a moment where he that that Mel: he's either ad-libbed or they've added in shot list where he says i left Mel: the hand to hold he reaches over and holds her hand for just Mel: a beat and then takes his hand away looks at his hand and there's chocolate Mel: on it so starts licking his fingers uh you know when you've Mel: set up so many the toaster the Mel: beer the napkin the place setting the tags on Mel: the get when you've set up all these things that you've given the Mel: actors a lot to play with you've given the set designers a Mel: lot of really specific things you you know you Mel: you've given so many pieces of the puzzle to play with that that's just an absolute Mel: joy and you can see that it's not like oh they ad-libbed because they're better Mel: than the writers the writers have set all of that up really well on the page Mel: um and so yeah i i got quite a bit out of that as well the.

Chas: Quote-unquote sacrifice that they've made in terms of white space is at the Chas: opening of that scene there's two paragraphs a three-line paragraph and a four line paragraph.

Chas: And after that, every action line is a two or a one line paragraph that is a gag.

Chas: And they've done it so well.

And I'm fascinated that they did cut the flashback.

Chas: The flashback seemed like it would fit, you know, it was very Scrubs kind of thing.

Chas: Like character talks about funny moment in life, cut to that thing happening.

Ha ha, hilarious.

Chas: You know, it gives you a chance to do more gags so interesting that they that Chas: the scene was working so well that introducing that flashback would have um compromised it.

Mel: And then it does it ends with a smash cut too so we get another you know sort of direction.

Chas: And um it's great yeah Chas: i mean they like so in the first scene Chas: with the with the wedding they've they're being more Chas: explicit with camera movements i think that's another thing that maybe i'm learning Chas: and it's like it should be obvious but you know how I love how Craig Mazin like Chas: keeps on railing against the gurus who say don't direct from the page and he's Chas: like that's our job but it is making me kind of keenly aware that it's, Chas: And any comedy writer out there is going to go, why the fuck are we listening Chas: to Chaz?

But frame is so important for humor.

Chas: Like comedy might be in the two shot.

Comedy might be in the wide.

Chas: Comedy might be in the close up.

And it's important to, you know, Chas: perhaps direct the camera a bit more because it might be funnier.

Mel: Yep.

So many of these gags are visually dependent.

Like, so for example, Mel: it's really important that we haven't seen the chocolate groom before that gag Mel: because it's funnier that way.

Mel: And so they look left to see or camera sees or whatever in some ways is really important.

Mel: And sometimes it's important that you only see the top half of somebody because Mel: something's going to come in later.

Mel: And when you're reading it, you only get the one chance to set up in the viewer's Mel: eye what they are or are not seeing.

Mel: And so that camera stuff is helpful.

Chas: Now, this is unrelated to the brief, but I think it's impressive.

Chas: And it reminds me of what they did in the Yellow Jackets pilot.

Chas: And it's the transition from the bottom of page three from the wedding into the show.

Chas: And the reason why I just want to call it out is I think it's so essential to a pilot in particular.

Chas: So, Alex grabs Hot Guy's hand, a rom-com score ignites as they run up the aisle Chas: and burst out of the church.

Chas: We follow them into the sunset as the score crescendos.

Chas: It's the perfect happy ending to a shitty rom-com.

But.

Chas: And the word but is in all caps, italics and underlined, followed by an ellipses.

Chas: As they run slash blade towards Bliss, we slowly pull the camera back away from Chas: them, ellipses, and then back into the church, ellipses.

Chas: Interior church continuous.

Find Dave on the altar destroyed, Chas: flanked by the stunned wedding party.

Chas: This is the story of the other side of the happy ending.

Chas: The place is silent.

A cough, a whisper.

Chas: So like that line this is the story of the other side of the happy ending it's Chas: it's perfect it's in the perfect place and they they're i feel like they've Chas: set that up so wonderfully because of all that camera direction on the page Chas: because that's a visual gag the run slash blade towards bliss is.

Mel: So good funny yes it's funny as a Mel: word it's funny to try to visualize it it's all great and Mel: it also like also there's the idea that they're clearly mismatched yeah Mel: you know you're getting all of that like she's she's not Mel: actually in love with this guy there's just there's a Mel: lot of other things at play oh and then those other things Mel: at play are dave at the altar surrounded by their Mel: friends um this is absolutely one of the most Mel: uh underrated at least in terms of you know it didn't get very much awards attention Mel: didn't get whatever just one of the most fantastic sitcoms of the last um well Mel: it came out the same year as bridesmaids so it has been 14 years so speaking of bridesmaids i.

Chas: Mean didn't you i'm not sure did you say on on on mike on air that that episode Chas: was directed by the russo brothers.

Mel: No i didn't so yes this is directed by the russo brothers which i think would Mel: have been right around the time they were directing community yeah so having Mel: them direct your pilot it'll just sort of get like again this is a time when Mel: pilot season was still a thing um would have definitely guaranteed you'd get Mel: it seen so yeah the russo brothers directed Mm-hmm.

Excerpts: I'm engaged!

Oh my God!

He asked me last night!

What?

Excerpts: What is happening?

So will you be my maid of honor?

Of course I will!

Excerpts: I don't know what I'm supposed to do.

You know, just whatever.

Excerpts: Throw the bachelorette party.

Yeah.

Excerpts: Shower and...

Oh my God.

Excerpts: Let's go meet the rest of the bridal party.

Oh my God.

I get to punch it a couple times.

Excerpts: You remember my cousin, Rita?

They just bought a new house.

Excerpts: It is gorgeous.

I wouldn't know.

I only see the kitchen and the laundry room Excerpts: and the ceiling in my bedroom.

Excerpts: Sometimes the floor.

This is Becca from work.

Is this your husband?

Excerpts: Oh no, I don't know him.

I'm single.

I was so distraught when I was single.

Excerpts: I'm fine being by myself.

Excerpts: Oh, Becca.

This is Ducky's sister, Megan.

Excerpts: You must be Annie's fella.

I'm not, he's not, I'm not with him.

Excerpts: I'm glad he's single because I'm going to climb that like a tree.

Excerpts: You have to meet Helen You're so pretty You're so cute Did you come from work?

Chas: My kids are getting into rom-coms Love this so much I really want to show them Chas: Bridesmaids But I have to keep reminding myself, Chas: Not about this sequence that we're going to do The extended food poisoning sequence Chas: in the middle of the film Yeah.

Mel: They'd probably love this Oh yeah.

Chas: They would love this bit You know, I keep having to remind myself of, Chas: um, it's, it's actually a piece, a perfect piece of physical performance.

Chas: I actually want to go to the script and find it.

But when, you know, Chas: opening on that scene between Annie and, um, Chas: like where she's describing how he's like hanging his penis, Chas: like near her face, like just strongly inferring that he would like a blow job.

Chas: And, uh, Kristen Wiig's performance of that is, uh, hilarious.

Excerpts: Eww, you had sex with him.

We had an adult sleepover.

Oh.

Excerpts: Did you let him sleep over in your mouth?

Excerpts: Annie.

I'm sorry.

You're unbelievable.

He kept, like, putting it near my face.

Excerpts: They do that, don't they?

Why do they do that?

Let us offer.

Excerpts: If we don't offer...

Please, you're supposed to slap it away.

I couldn't.

Excerpts: You don't want to look right at it.

No.

It's too aggressive.

I don't care.

Hello.

Excerpts: That's my impression.

Those are the balls.

Yeah.

I'm trying to make it round, Excerpts: but I can't because I have elbows.

Chas: And yeah, I don't, my nine-year-old and 11-year-old are perhaps not yet ready Chas: to find that as funny as I find it.

Mel: Speaking of Kristen Wiig, though, I will make a tiny plug that the writers of Mel: Bridesmaids also wrote and starred in Bardman, Mel: Stargarden, Vista Del Mar, which again speaking of something that Mel: is just so wildly underrated um so if Mel: you like bridesmaids you should watch that film uh and Mel: i read the screenplay but yeah here we go and again Mel: this is filmed very closely to Mel: what it is however there's a couple bits that Mel: the order has changed and there's two gags in particular both Mel: of which involving just melissa mccarthy off on her own Mel: doing stuff that aren't anywhere at all and Mel: i just have a feeling that was just like melissa mccarthy is doing some funny Mel: shit so uh let's film it and if we need a place to drop it in we will but for Mel: the most part it quite closely follows the page other than again going oh actually Mel: the flow here works better if we don't you know cut back to this other room Mel: so they they rearrange the pieces okay.

Chas: Interesting i had completely forgotten i remembered that this script was nominated Chas: for an oscar i forgot that um melissa mccarthy was nominated.

Mel: Honestly that we need to do more like ensemble cast and also just like casting Mel: like full stop just casting director awards for something like this like putting Mel: this team together chef's kiss yeah.

Chas: Okay so for for listeners who don't know and are willing to to get spoiled uh Chas: bridesmaids is the what did you say 2011.

Mel: Yes 2011.

Chas: Comedy film uh set uh with two best friends annie and lillian lillian is getting Chas: married, Annie is her maid of honour, and the...

Chas: The drive of the film is around Lillian's new friend, Helen, Chas: who is very wealthy, played by Rose Byrne.

Mel: Aussie shout out.

Chas: And Annie's competition for Lillian's affections gets hilariously and way out of hand.

Chas: And there's two, no, three additional bridesmaids, Megan, played by Melissa Chas: McCarthy, and then there's Rita and Becca.

Mel: Ellie Kemper and Wendy McClellan Covey is Rita.

Chas: Okay.

And look, I feel remiss in not having mentioned that Maya Rudolph plays Lillian.

Mel: I was watching this just thinking about, like, if you watch behind the scenes Mel: of certain things, Bridesmaid and The Good Place as well.

Mel: She has so few lines, actually, in this scene.

Mel: It's really not until the end about her.

but every time she does a line delivery Mel: it's completely different.

Chas: And utterly.

Mel: Hilarious she's just phenomenal and she's so good in this.

Chas: So um the the setup for this particular scene is that annie has taken like she Chas: loves finding interesting little cheap restaurants.

Excerpts: I know it looks a little scary on the outside but the food is really good authentic Excerpts: brazilian i'm telling you this is where Brazilians come to eat.

Excerpts: I got to say, and he's really good at this show.

He's dragged me to the weirdest Excerpts: places and the food is always incredible.

Excerpts: And plus you get a lot for your money too.

So that's good.

Chas: And then they've gone from the Brazilian place to a really high end bridal shop.

Excerpts: Belle en Blanc.

This is the place.

Great job.

Excerpts: Belle en Blanc.

Excerpts: Reservation name.

Oh, I don't, I don't have one.

we're just here to shop just to try on some dresses.

Excerpts: Okay.

Well, the next available appointment for bridesmaids fittings is in seven Excerpts: weeks.

Absolutely no walk-in.

Excerpts: Whitney, it's Helen.

Helen Harris?

Yeah.

Hi.

Oh my God.

Hi.

Listen, Excerpts: I'll buzz you right in.

Great.

Thank you.

Chas: So they're all in surrounded by these very expensive dresses.

Chas: And as they are trying on the dresses, everyone who ate meat at the Brazilian Chas: restaurant, which is everyone except But Helen starts to get horrific food poisoning.

Mel: It's our first sign that Helen's actually queer.

Just saying.

Chas: Okay.

Mel: Look, I ship Helen and Megan together.

So that's beside the point.

Chas: Look, this scene has got a lot of dialogue.

And there's some bits where they're Chas: using the dialogue to actually paint the visuals.

Chas: So in some ways it undermines what we're trying to look for here, Chas: except maybe if you've got a scene well established enough, Chas: Having characters talking about what's happening is the funnier option than doing it in big print.

Chas: Sorry, for non-Australian listeners, I keep forgetting, every now and then we Chas: get a listener go, what is this big print of which they speak?

Chas: We're talking about action lines.

Mel: I do think the action lines, they start foreshadowing things quite early.

Excerpts: This is some classy shit here.

Jesus, Megan.

Excerpts: I'm sorry, I won't apologize.

eyes i'm not even confident of which end that came out of.

Mel: A burp escapes megan's mouth like that's you know it's just an action line and Mel: then we move on and you just think oh okay so it starts seeding it in before Mel: everything really gets rolling.

Chas: Yeah i but i would also like to note that the the they Chas: don't overdo the big print here like Chas: i i can't point to anything that Chas: is like oh they did this incredible there's this Chas: one line that just blows me away it is largely describing what we see in here Chas: but almost every action line was making me laugh out loud on the on public transport Chas: um by the time it it really kicks off so yes on page 39 you've got the burp escaping megan's mouth, Chas: they start talking about the dresses and how expensive they are.

Chas: And it's only after a time jump when they've cut to later, they're in the main fitting area.

Chas: It's on page 40 that the top of that scene is a two line action line.

Chas: The girls are in different dresses.

Chas: Lillian is not there.

They look great, comma, although Megan's face is beet red.

Chas: And this is the one thing that I will they do a lot is two clause sentences Chas: so they'll do one clause telling you what's going on and then the next clause is a more funny detail.

Mel: I do think the um you you mentioned the Mel: time jump and that's actually one of the places where they insert Melissa McCarthy Mel: doing you know ad-libbing with the sofa and I think it is partly to make it Mel: clear that there has been a significant time jump and And it's not because we're Mel: otherwise we're going from Annie looking at a dress and a drip of sweat comes Mel: down her face to the girls in different dresses.

Mel: And I think then showing this big wide shot of Melissa McCarthy flopping on Mel: the on the couch with nobody else in the room makes it clear that everyone is Mel: sort of moving on and doing something else.

Mel: Whereas if you just went from Annie to the big group, it might take you a minute to bump on.

Mel: Oh, wait, what has happened here?

Mel: It's not a huge thing, but it is a small thing that just helps smooth out the time jump.

Chas: Yeah.

So we get through the rest of page 40 and half of page 41.

Chas: They are talking in dialogue about it being hot.

Excerpts: This is designer as well.

Is anyone else hot?

It is like an oven user.

Chas: And then I think this is important.

The paragraph where it all kicks off is Chas: actually really understated.

Chas: There's no exclamation marks.

There's no italics.

Mel: No all caps, which we've seen in other places in this script.

Chas: But to make us read it, they do interrupt Annie's line.

Excerpts: Lillian.

Excerpts: I don't know what to say you look so.

Chas: She's halfway through a Chas: line says you are and then dash dash by Chas: doing that interruption it is forcing us to to Chas: read the the paragraph and also the paragraph is four lines long it actually Chas: really stands out from everything else in the in the script so far so it is Chas: trying to use techniques to force you to read the action line and the action Chas: line is megan lurches forward as the contents of her stomach come up into her mouth.

Chas: She claps her hand over her mouth to stop from throwing up.

Chas: After a beat, she swallows it and pushes it back down.

Looks nauseous.

Mel: Asterisk, nauseated.

Chas: I do, I think I like how many, they use way more words than they need to, Chas: like they're deliberately overwriting, like in terms of using white space, Chas: like they're taking their time with it.

Mel: And multiple full stops.

Chas: The contents of her stomach cup come up into her mouth is more words than you need to describe that.

Chas: And that is a deliberate comedic choice.

Mel: Yeah.

It's not she gags or dry heaves or yeah, it's a full line.

Chas: Yeah.

And then the next paragraph is following Annie trying to deny Helen's accusation.

Chas: She's caused the food poisoning with her choice of restaurant Chas: and the action line is Annie is really Chas: sweaty now comma a mark between her boobs and Chas: that's what I mean about like you know you could have just said Chas: Annie is really sweaty now but now they've just added a little Chas: comedic detail into that sentence suddenly Chas: Becca politely cups her hand over her mouth to stifle herself from getting sick Chas: and sorry i'm just laughing reading it back over right now we've gone to the Chas: next page it's clear that rita's also sick but then i do love this so rita says you.

Excerpts: Know i don't really care which dress we get it doesn't matter me i just need Excerpts: to get off this white carpet okay no not the bathroom.

Chas: And then we hear a noise it doesn't describe what the noise is and.

Mel: It's sent it's just that one by itself.

Chas: And then.

Mel: There's a paragraph break and then the next action line.

Chas: They all stand in horrified silence becca still holding her hands against her Chas: face there are faint and loud stomach churning sounds now i love there are faint Chas: and in brackets and loud so like contradictory well.

Mel: I got annoyed at first because the contradictory but i think what they're saying Mel: is that like one or two of their stomachs are faint and then some of their stomachs are loud you.

Chas: Know and.

Mel: It does make you stop and go oh yeah no okay that makes sense.

Chas: And the the churning is in all caps so that one word like they are escalating Chas: their their use of the big print here and.

Mel: Here's where we've had a lot more dialogue before but then we're getting more Mel: and more big print because it's starting to be action like people are still Mel: saying things for sure and there's a couple of places particularly when it cuts Mel: back to helen and annie um facing off they're having this dialogue.

Excerpts: You don't look very well, Annie.

I feel fine.

Excerpts: Are you sure?

It wasn't that gray kind of lamb, or you ate a lot of that weird chicken.

Was it that?

Excerpts: No.

I'm...

Excerpts: I feel fine.

Mel: But then most of the rest of the characters are now just in panic mode.

Mel: And so it's a lot of action and then a lot of yelling.

Excerpts: The knees are toilets!

The knees are toilets!

The knees are toilets!

Excerpts: No.

No, Megan.

No!

No!

Look away!

Megan, no!

Look away!

Mel: It's mostly action and interjections now.

Mel: Blocks of text are picking up a little bit because the dialogue is either lessened or quite terse.

Chas: Feel free to read some out.

I'm just delighting in this.

But then this podcast Chas: will be mostly my voice, which is what no one wants.

Mel: I think I did more of the, you know, the old fuddy-duddy black and white.

Chas: So what we then get is three of the bridesmaids end up in the very small bathroom.

Mel: With just one toilet and one sink there's a phenomenal top-down Mel: shot okay that it's not in the Mel: script but obviously it the actions Mel: are all again the writers have set up the actions are all happening Mel: it doesn't say there's a top-down shot but when you've set this up and you get Mel: this location and then all of a sudden just real quick before it breaks out Mel: to go back to the other room where helen and annie are There's just this like Mel: two second top down shot of the absolute chaos that the last two pages have Mel: spent all this time laying out.

Mel: And you can see the wreckage.

It's great.

Chas: And then just to set up like the structure of what happens here is that we've Chas: got the bridesmaids in the bathroom.

Chas: We've got Annie and Helen with Annie still pretending that she's not sick.

Chas: And that's more dialogue character driven.

Although I would say when we get Chas: to it, I think Kristen Wiig's performance of eating that almond is...

Chas: Incredible and.

Mel: It's got like four lines four action Mel: lines it really dwells on her Mel: agonizing about the fact that she has to take this home and and she has to put Mel: it in her mouth and she has to chew it she forces it down and swallows the almonds Mel: down with a slow gulp like it's it's dwelling on the misery that this is causing.

Chas: Her yeah you.

Mel: Know not just annie grudgingly takes it like it it it draws it out for you.

Chas: Yeah and then finally uh lillian Chas: the bride is the uh the cap Chas: on the scene as there's nowhere to go so she goes to Chas: try and use the bathroom in the convenience store across the street and ends Chas: up lowering herself and shitting herself in the middle of the street in a gorgeous Chas: very expensive wedding dress now that's me like jumping to the end but summarizing Chas: the structure of the scene but then the reason i'm doing that is then we can Chas: dwell like that structuring, Chas: is important because then we can identify what they're doing Chas: in the action lines so i really like again one of the things that i'm taking Chas: away from this is in comedy feel free to spend some time in setup because all Chas: these all these writers are doing that so the bath the single toilet bathroom Chas: is as pristine, pristine in caps, Chas: and white in caps as the fitting area.

Chas: Everything is just right, calm and quiet.

Classical music plays softly.

Chas: BAM!

Exclamation mark.

All caps.

Chas: The door bursts open as Rita runs in.

She projectile vomits into the toilet.

Chas: Ellipsis.

But the seat is down.

Everything sprays onto the back wall.

Chas: So that ellipsis creates the joke.

The visual joke.

Chas: Like obviously when we're seeing that, we are seeing all that happen in one action and it's funny.

Chas: But what makes it funny on the page is the ellipsis.

the fact that they said Chas: into the toilet and not onto the toilet like they've deliberately.

Mel: They don't tip their hand yeah they've done.

Chas: It they've done a reveal on the page structuring a joke that isn't uh on screen.

Mel: But it takes you a beat to realize what's happening on screen too right but Mel: yeah it's it's giving the reader the experience of this is funny with and then Mel: that not being the technical.

Mel: She opens the stall door.

The seat is down.

Mel: She doesn't have time to open it.

Like that's technical, but it's not funny.

This is funny.

Chas: Yeah.

Uh, Rita slams the top open and heaves again into the bowl as Megan runs Chas: in holding her backside.

Chas: Rita ignores her as her head is in it and she grips the sides, barfing.

Chas: In desperation, Megan hikes up her dress, hops onto the counter and sits in Chas: the sink and sits is in caps and the sink is in caps so they are now like doing highlights.

Mel: She sits in the sink yeah.

Chas: So yeah we cut back to helen and annie having their um i think it literally Chas: says face off yeah helen and annie are faced off annie is sweating.

Mel: Profusely and the juxtaposition of you have these two women in these very compromising Mel: positions yelling at each other and then suddenly you cut into the room and Mel: you have two people completely silent just staring at each other and all they're Mel: doing is quote sweating profusely like you get that that big shift you know Mel: right there which is really great.

Excerpts: You don't look very well Annie I feel fine.

Chas: Now, I've seen this film a number of times, but I can't remember where the top-down Chas: shot is.

It is that break.

It is?

Mel: It is this break.

Okay.

Yeah, so Rita and Megan go back and forth for a few Mel: more seconds, just still yelling, no, no, look away, look away, ah!

Mel: And then you get this top-down shot, and it's like, again, just you realize Mel: the actual destruction that they have wrought, and then it cuts back to Helen and Annie sweating.

Chas: So, Becca joins Megan and Rita in the bathroom.

Chas: Becca runs in blindly over the toilet that Rita is still barfing in.

Chas: Vomit rains down on the back of Rita's head.

I did enjoy that because they haven't Chas: had to say it's Becca's vomit.

Chas: They very carefully painted the shot.

They've chosen the frame with those words.

Mel: Right i know.

Chas: From those words that becca is not in the in that shot as it's written on the Chas: page i can't remember how they actually shot it but what they've written on Chas: the page for me is visualizing, Chas: becca not being in that shot it's about the vomit raining down on the back of Chas: rita's head while she herself is vomiting.

Mel: Um and this is actually where uh they Mel: the content is all the same but the order starts Mel: changing and edit they give you a bit more time with Mel: annie and helen um some of their content Mel: that's down on the other page and so instead of cutting back and forth quite Mel: so much in between vomit sweating vomit front like they give and i think it's Mel: mostly to give the weight of the scene between annie and helen because they Mel: really start having a little more Mel: of a of a realization you know of what's really happening so again like, Mel: everything's the same but the flow of things which is Mel: funny on the page and really works like you can tell what they're doing and Mel: that thing where you just talked about uh right before becca runs in Mel: annie's line is i don't have to throw up interior bathroom becca runs in and Mel: blindly throws up like that's funny on the page yeah but the sacrifice clearly Mel: became oh you know the actors were really having this moment and and it they Mel: wanted you know the flow to go a little bit differently so So, Mel: honestly, if I'm writing this and planning on directing this, Mel: I go, this is a funny transition.

Mel: Well, like in the edit, if it doesn't go exactly this way, it doesn't matter.

Mel: On the page, this is funny.

That's what I'm trying to do to sell the thing.

So, that stays.

Chas: Yeah.

And, I mean, we've got the, we finally get the only, we're back with Helen and Annie.

Chas: And there's one more cut back into the bathroom and there's no big print at Chas: all on the script.

So, we're on page 44 and it's.

Excerpts: What did we eat?

Sinks are gone.

What are you doing?

It's coming out of me like lava.

Excerpts: Don't fucking look at me.

Chas: This is the point where I'm like, they've done so much setup that they can create Chas: the visual through the dialogue.

Mel: I think the reason, I think also the reason they have the, even though Megan Mel: has said a line, there are other people in the room and we know that.

Mel: So saying becca noticing her on the sink is like is just making clear to us Mel: because we've done all the setup that it's not rita that she's noticing it's Mel: not like this is the specific thing she's noticing yeah because again we've Mel: seen so much happen in this bathroom in the last 30 seconds yeah.

Chas: I mean if if i if it hasn't been clear over the the life of this podcast i have Chas: a very puerile sense of humor this scene is like custom made for me and i'm Chas: impressed like if i was writing this i would be like a child i would be doing Chas: all of the sound effects um and.

Mel: I a few years ago i was at a Mel: um some gay event night you Mel: know and it's like friday night slash saturday morning Mel: at 1 a.m and you've been drinking you and the bar had Mel: bridesmaids on playing over the bar Mel: and i just like i'd been dancing and i wanted Mel: a minute so i went and kind of like was leaning against the bar just Mel: to have a breather and bridesmaids was on my friend came over and we it because Mel: it was on silence we were watching and we were making Mel: at some point this scene came on and we did the sound effects Mel: i'm sure it probably wasn't as funny as we thought we were but Mel: it's so great because you can watch this scene even Mel: this even the conversations right between helen and any even all of those but Mel: you don't need to know what they're saying everything that is in those action Mel: lines reads and we just sat there for like 20 minutes just watching them interact Mel: and watching the physical comedy and yeah making the noises yeah.

Chas: And so this this sequence culminates Chas: as you've already described you've got the wonderful taking the time Chas: with the big print of annie chewing on that almond now the one difference that Chas: they've made that i remember from the from the screen is on the page it says Chas: annie takes a handful and painfully puts them in her mouth my memory from on screen is it's one.

Mel: I think she might i think she might take some and Mel: then just pick the one and put it in her mouth Mel: you know um yeah where it's like oh i can do i can't there's no way i can do Mel: one and then that's it and also i just i love the touch that they're jordan Mel: almonds which is exactly what you would have in that kind of bridal dress places so.

Chas: I look i figure we should do the the culmination which is um the exterior belle en blanc uh.

Mel: The description.

Chas: Of of lillian who's turned and bolted away from within the dress shop and annie's running after her.

Excerpts: Annie, everybody's really sick from that restaurant.

Excerpts: But it wasn't the restaurant.

Oh, no, no, no.

Lillian, where are you going?

I need a bathroom.

Chas: Lillian bursts out of the building and runs across the street towards a 7-Eleven.

Chas: Cars screech to a halt to avoid the fleeing bride.

Excerpts: Help!

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Where are you going?

Come back.

Where are you going?

Excerpts: Help, be careful.

What are you doing?

Excerpts: It's happening.

Help!

It's happening.

It's happening.

It's happening.

Chas: Annie runs out and watches in horror.

Suddenly, Lillian stops running and slowly Chas: sinks down onto the ground, embarrassed and unable to move.

Chas: So again, they're doing the what you can see and then comma and then the second Chas: clause giving it humor, character.

Chas: She throws a helpless look back at Annie.

In the doorway, Whitney and Annie watch it all in horror.

Mel: And if you watch it, even the fact that the way that she slowly sinks onto the Mel: ground is exactly what happens.

Chas: That bit of performance is incredible.

Mel: She almost does the elevator behind the couch, you know, for a kid.

Mel: It's just, it's a perfect bit of performance, but it is there in the action Mel: line.

She stops running and slowly sinks.

Mel: Although she kind of, she doesn't just stop and sink.

She like goes into slow Mel: motion as she sinks into the ground.

Chas: Well, I mean, what I love about, like, I can see it because Maya Rudolph's performance is so amazing.

Chas: She captures perfectly the look of someone who does not want to sink to the Chas: ground, but their body is betraying them.

Chas: So it's like, I want to keep walking and I am getting closer and closer to the ground.

Mel: I definitely look.

There's a street in Atlanta where I did this once.

Mel: More successfully, I will say, but I literally was, and I could not move for Mel: about five minutes, and watching this back, and even just reading it, Mel: you're like, yeah, this is...

Mel: Embarrassed and unable to move helpless Mel: like the lines are really great it just gives you that sense of everything and Mel: even the the cars screech to a halt we that's that's in the movie like they've Mel: written something that's so evocative um you know it's it's all there i.

Chas: Mean i did i did go back to the the very beginning scene the description of Chas: annie mimicking uh john hams like putting his penis in her face is not in the big print and.

Mel: Then when she imitates the.

Chas: Penis it just says annie imitates a penis.

Mel: Aha so that's yeah hey which also Mel: if christian wig wrote this like presumably she's like yeah no i Mel: don't know what i got this yeah all right i i Mel: i've i've had this one boyfriend in mind i've done this Mel: before yeah this is this is what i'll do that's fine Mel: um i will say one other thing that i did find Mel: interesting real quick at the very end of the line it does Mel: the thing that happy endings does okay where helen has Mel: come out and goes um and in parentheticals re the expensive dress we'll just Mel: take five with the bernese it doesn't have to do that just like brad's line Mel: and happy endings didn't have to do that it just helps give a little bit of Mel: context because it could it could be referring to a couple other things and Mel: And it's reminding you of, you know, what's happening.

Mel: And the bigger context, you know, we haven't seen Whitney for a few minutes Mel: until she was running out, etc.

Mel: Again, it's something that you probably could delete.

But it is interesting Mel: that when you've got so much other action going that these scenes do go.

Mel: We need a few more parentheticals than we would normally use to remind you of, you know, everything.

Chas: Yeah, because the line, we'll just take five of the Fritz Bernays, Chas: Whitney, thank you.

it's clearly that's about the expensive dress like it's Chas: not about anything else but they just, Chas: decided to orient you that Helen is deliberately not talking about anything Chas: of the incredible things that have just happened.

Mel: This isn't a joke.

This is her actively avoiding everything that is right in Mel: front of her.

Yeah, exactly.

Chas: Cool.

So, Mel, what did you learn from this exercise?

What are you taking away for you for your pages?

Chas: Because you're writing two comedies at the moment.

Mel: Well, I'm writing one comedy and one, I'm calling it a tromedy.

Chas: I mean, I laughed a lot in your tromedy.

Mel: What?

Most people do when they hear about my trauma jazz.

Chas: I mean, we're talking about, I'm talking about mothering.

Mel: Mothering is the tromedy, yeah, that is the tromedy.

And then one rom-com.

Mel: And I think that the thing with the tromedy is there's a lot of different genres in it.

Mel: And that is why we're doing the tonal shift with everything everywhere at once Mel: and a few other things coming up.

Mel: Because, yes, there's a bit of comedy, there's a lot of slapstick, Mel: but there's a lot of tonal shifts in different genres.

Whereas at one point, Mel: there's a scene that's breaking out, and it's this little almost sci-fi Doctor Mel: Who type scene for about two pages.

Mel: Whereas My Current Husband, which is the comedy of Remarriage, Mel: it is a rom-com, and there's a lot of slapstick.

Mel: It's very much a screwball.

So there's a lot of very quick dialogue, Mel: but there's a lot of comedy.

Mel: And we're using, you know, different things within the scene, Mel: different physical skills that, you know, the characters would have and et cetera.

Mel: And so looking at this, I would say the first thing, like what you said from Mel: Happy Endings, is sometimes a lot of table setting earlier is better than, Mel: you know, three or four stops for table setting throughout.

Mel: And so going back and looking at one scene in particular that maybe, Mel: oh, I do take a couple of these chunks and just combine them at the top is pretty good.

Mel: I think I really enjoyed that, which is not something that I've done.

Mel: And I don't know that I need to do it.

But I think that Mel: considering the when certain visual gags should be directed a little bit more Mel: on the page and whether I do that like as explicitly as bringing up baby or Mel: where I use the characters looks to direct it, Mel: which is what Happy Endings does, or whether I do, you know, Mel: like you were talking about the scene when she bursts into the stall.

Mel: And then we don't.

Mel: She's just throwing up on the back of her head and we it tells Mel: you exactly what that shot would be seeing you know Mel: any of those techniques might work but I think um yeah which Mel: of those is best for the particular scene that Mel: I'm in so those are probably my two biggest takeaways I really did enjoy seeing Mel: some of the techniques that I've been using in terms of both like there's a Mel: like blam you know there's sound effects and and a few things at very key moments Mel: but also when they use caps versus when they don't.

Mel: And I need to be a bit more judicious about my parentheticals, Mel: especially, but seeing all of them do it, I'm like, okay, you know, I can scale it back.

Mel: But if anyone tells me to take them all out, I'll be firmly, I have, I have proof.

Mel: I'll pull out my, you know, my giant stack of papers and point at my proof.

Chas: Yeah.

I mean, I was so impressed that Bridesmaids, it ended up doing the blam and the, Chas: and the caps and stuff like that but that first paragraph where megan throws Chas: up into her mouth how they did none of that they just used an interruption to Chas: make you start reading the paragraph and then really took their time with that that paragraph it's.

Mel: A great takeaway um especially because in a screwball there are a Mel: lot of interruptions but it's usually dialogue that's interrupting and you're Mel: right when it's this longer action line suddenly interrupting it does make you Mel: take notice of oh even though it's subtle they're not giant you know blocks Mel: of exclamation points it's saying this is really uh key uh something's about Mel: to happen i really like that that note.

Chas: And i i love the the same observation that you've made about taking the time Chas: to set up physical humor one of the things that i think it's important to set Chas: up is geography of the space especially as they're moving around because all Chas: three of these scenes did that very well.

Chas: Bringing up Baby, obviously, you've got three different perspectives that creates Chas: the humor, the framing, but lots of geography and you're never lost in it.

Chas: Happy Endings, the geography of the room and the gifts.

Chas: And like you said, that they even...

Chas: You feel like you can see everything.

And yet at the end, they still managed Chas: to do a reveal without saying reveal the giant.

Mel: FAO Schwartz chocolate figures.

Chas: Yeah.

Mel: Bridesmaids has different, different people and different combinations in different rooms.

Chas: Yeah.

Mel: And you know, you are pretty clear where you are at any given point because Mel: of who you're with and what they're doing.

Chas: Yeah.

And, and taking the time to set up the, whatever it is, is it the geography?

Chas: Is it the running gag about the baby voice is it the the gifts Chas: you know but taking the time to set it up Chas: then actually allows you to use Chas: that those action lines either more for to to make gags or to direct you know Chas: you can you can spend that time picking the frame picking the perspective telling Chas: us the thing in in action that is going to make it funnier on screen or trying Chas: to recreate that experience on screen.

Chas: Directing from the page, you might say.

Mel: Yeah, with differing degrees of subtlety, they all direct from the page a bit.

Mel: But as a director, when I read a script, I want to be seeing it in my head, you know?

Mel: I don't, you know, something that doesn't evoke some sort of imagery in your Mel: head is probably not that interesting.

Chas: Cool.

Well, thank you for that.

The thing that I'm writing next is not got any physical comedy.

Chas: There is one character that I want to give a lot of dry wit to.

Chas: So you know maybe as you continue to write your different comedies we can start Chas: doing more exploration into different aspects of comedy i.

Mel: Will be making you watch a 40s comedy uh if we do one on on dry wet in comedy because.

Chas: Look to be very clear i love cinema from all backgrounds times it's just as Chas: a screenwriter that i uh so.

Mel: Much to learn.

Chas: From all of the.

Mel: Screenwriting i suppose yeah if you're talking wit and dialogue we can go there.

Chas: Um as always draft zero is brought Chas: to you more often by our amazing patrons if Chas: you want more draft zero more often you can too join our patrons uh i feel like Chas: our most our best attended tier is the minimum tier where you get to choose Chas: and vote on homework uh so thank you patrons for doing So this time it's super Chas: thanks to our extra special patrons, Alexandra, Chas: Jenny, Jesse, Krob, Lily, Millay, Paolo, Randy, Sandra, Thies, Thomas.

Chas: Thank you so much.

And thank you, Mel, for making this happen, for doing the homework.

Chas: You presented me with options and I'm like, I don't have time.

Just choose.

Mel: I sent you a whole email with like, here's eight scenes from these four different Mel: scripts.

What do you want?

And I get a text from Jess, pick one.

Chas: Okay.

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