You're listening to a mom with mere podcast.

Actually really like that T shirt?

Where did you get that?

It's bad?

Batch is the name some lady startup and it's got like a paddle pop and a bubblo bill.

I was explaining what all the things were about in the middle of Lamington a fantale.

It's like all the best.

Is it true that fan tales have actually been pulled from the market.

I don't think you can buy them anymore, which is really sad because dentists everywhere maybe they just like lobbied to get them taken away.

Dentists hate fun.

They are delicious, but they are a pain in the ass, like they do get stuck.

That's where are we gonna learn about obscure movie trivia?

Now?

What a shame?

I know.

I was learning so much while I wrecked my teeth.

Welcome to Parenting out Loud, the podcasts for people who don't always listen to parenting podcasts.

We're not like the other parenting podcasts.

We bring you the news, the culture, the trends, and what parents are secretly thinking about.

I'm Monic Bowley and I'm not wearing a bra.

Can you tell I'm Amelia Lester.

I'm Stacy Hickson.

No you can't.

Mons.

They're looking very per.

Today if I do so, Tops, Lease, Tops, What are we talking about today?

So stay at home moms are being replaced by a group and it is stay at home sons.

I am being dead set serious.

I will explain more.

Stay at home sons is my favorite new praise.

There's a new skincare line that is targeted not at teens, not at tweens, but at little kids, like we're talking three year olds in sheep masks.

But we have a theory about who this line is really targeting.

Oh my jaws tightening over that one.

And everyone says it takes a village, right.

You would have heard that before as a parent, but millennial parents beg to differ.

Are those four words the most useless advice in parenting these days?

It just might be.

But first, Stacy, you are our purveyor of the internet.

What have you seen this week that you're bringing to us?

So good old Prince William just spoke about how he and Princess Catherine handled speaking to their kids in the wake of her cancer diagnosis, and he was being interviewed by Brazilian TV hosts Luciano huck and this is what he said about their choice and how they handled it.

We choose to communicate a lot more with our children now that has good things and it's bad things.

Sometimes you feel you're over sharing with the children you proba shouldn't.

But most of the time, hiding stuff in them doesn't work, and so explaining that you know how they feel why that's happening, give them other viewpoints as to why they might be feeling how they are sometimes helps give them a bigger picture and they can relax more into it rather be really anxious about what are you hiding from you?

But what do I not know?

Why is that happening?

There's a lot more questions when there's no answers, but it's always a balancing out.

To me, every parent knows that it's kind of how much do I say?

What do I say?

When do I say?

I just love this?

And can I say that?

Prince William and Prince Harry, I know they're not talking and that's really sad, and I know they've both been through a lot.

But one thing that comes through so clearly for me with both those boys is that they care so much about being good dads, and they talk to us about it and they clearly agonize over it, and they're trying to model like a collaborative relationship and dynamic with their co parent with their wives.

And I am so here for these boys talking about being a dad all the time.

Yeah, it's great, and like you can tell they've really thought about it, like that is what the experts say.

You should be honest and transparent with your kids when there's hard stuff like this going on, because it causes so much more anxiety if they feel like things are being kept from them.

Which is a bit counterintuitive.

Yeah, yeah it is, But I loved that he was like, they'll have more questions if you don't give them answers.

So do you think it's an intentional choice that William is doing this?

Is he trying to show a new type of leadership.

Is he trying to be a new kind of dad?

Because I hard agree with you, Amelia.

He's talked several times about hot button topics for parents.

He talks about sleep deprivation, he talks about screen time.

One time he talked about how Charlotte's hair was befuddling to him and he had to look up YouTube on how to do it, you know, a little bit hair.

It's very modern Dad.

He's in Brazil for the Climate Conference cop.

In that same interview, he talked about the fact that now that Prince George is twelve, almost a teenager, which is really scary to think about it.

So they haven't given him a smartphone yet.

And apparently things are getting tense, is what he said, because clearly George is doing that thing kids do where they start lobbying for something.

He's probably made a PowerPoint.

About it, and he's lobbying, and he's lobbying, and I love that even royals have to deal with like tense situations with their kids where their kids want something and you just have to keep holding that line.

Yeah, can't he just pull the king card out and be like, listen, I'm going to.

Be the king.

You can't have a phone.

End of story.

Like I rule here, it's the ultimate flex.

The issue is that I think George is also going to be the king.

So when you've got two pop who are going to be the king?

Who wins?

Yeah?

Maybe if it was Louis, he could be a little bit stronger on that line.

Louis follow Louis.

The Internet loves an outrage, and this week the Internet delivered there is a new skincare line from the actor Shane Mitchell that targets three year olds, four year olds, five year olds.

Now, before I get into the outrage, and I know everyone here has a lot of feelings about the skincare line, and why at marks the end of Civilization, I want to spend just a minute on Shane Mitchell herself, because what I learned in the office this week is that this woman is something of a gen z icon.

Jen Z's around the office told me that she is much better known to them for her business interests than for her acting.

She was most prominent in the TV show Pretty Little Liars, and she also appeared in that Netflix classic you remember that show, Very Ridiculous, Very Fun.

Is she an influencer as well as an actor.

I think it would be more accurate to call her an entrepreneur.

So she has seen a lot of success with a bag line called Bays.

It's become so popular that she even did a collaboration with Selena Gomez.

And the reason I'm spending time on this is because this skincare line, which has provoked so much outrage, this is a woman who knows how to read the room.

This is the Base Weekender bag created by Shane Mitchell.

There's a flap on the side that fits perfectly on your suitcase.

This tote has pockets and is big enough to store everything that you'll need.

Wow, amazing a tote with pocket groundbreaking, ground break.

You're not Jen said, you don't understand why this was revolutionary to them.

She's become a bit of a sort of older sister for them.

Here is a podcast appearance on Call Her Daddy where she's giving a tidbit of advice about not getting paranoid about your partner.

We're gonna do what we're gonna do, regardless if you're staying up at night, not sleeping, stocking and Instagram.

He's still gonna do what he's gonna do.

He's not gonna be like, well, Alex is probably up looking at the clubs Instagram trying to like, you know, zoom into the That's not gonna stop them, So, like, what is that you just lose sleep?

Apparently Jen Zed found this advice really helpful to not stalk your boyfriend on the internet.

So, because she's so good at reading the room, she has now decided that a room full of young girls needs one thing, and that one thing is sheep masks.

They are always wanting to do the things that mommy's doing.

And then you know, Atlas in one day was kind of like, wait, where's mine?

And I tried to find her a sheep mask online?

And the ingredients in these masks are crazy.

They're actually shouldn't be used for kids at all.

And then the same was true for all of the makeup.

The lines called Reenie, what you can't hear is it actually is very confronting to see a three year old putting on a sheep mask.

Mon's I know you are losing it.

Why does this make you so angry?

She just wants to put pure ingredients in sheep masks for three year olds?

What is your problem?

I'm going to try really hard to part my outrage, okay, because the internet has already been outraged on my behalf.

So the media and social media went bunter about this, basically saying how depressing it is to push beauty standards on children.

Taking a deep breath.

Self care was the line that she used in launching this product.

It's a fun way to self care, like self care from what our three year old's burnt out.

I just and then I went onto their website, onto the Reni website.

According to their website, their mission is simple, they say, to nurture healthy habits and spark confidence.

This is horseshit.

You know what a healthy habit is for a three year old touching grass and playing with dirt and eating vegetable sticks.

And you know what sparks confidence in a three year old practicing on the monkey bars, trying to nail a cartwheel, like doing a puzzle.

A face mask just is capitalism gone mad.

And it sends a message from a very early age that your face matters and what you look like matters, and that is dangerous.

This capitalism gone mad.

But the reason I wanted to stress how good she is at starting businesses is because this is hitting a chord with people.

It's not just hitting an outrage cord.

She clearly thinks that she can sell these sheep masks.

I think your problem, what you're bothered by with a mon's is the marketing of it.

And I felt the same when I saw this, and I saw it was blatantly being marketed at three year olds, I was like, oh my God, we have gone insane, like this has to stop.

But then the more I thought about it, I was like, doesn't this just feel like play to them?

Like, how is this different to them dressing up?

They see us doing this at home?

I know my daughter puts on my eye shadow when I'm doing the same thing.

Is this not just a more appropriate product for them that we're giving them?

I agree with you, yesday.

Here's why I love sheep masks.

I'm on the record as saying I love sheep masks, and when I put one on, my daughter also wants to put one on.

And then I did look at the ingredients list and it was full of hectic skincare ingredients that she doesn't need.

If she can indulge in this ritual with me with a skincare mask that doesn't have a ton of actives and retinols in it, yeah, I think that's harmless.

Because how is this different to the god three dollar nail polishes that we used to put on?

Or like, okay, I will get to that point in a minute.

Your point about my daughter sees me doing this and wants to do it too, My joory is tightening these things.

Amelia can be done with stuff from home.

You can slice up a cucumber and put them on their eyes.

You can get a warm face washer and put it on her face.

Sorry, mons, there's no way if I'm there doing my makeup or putting on a sheep mask, that my kid is going to be happy with a face washer.

They don't want that.

They want to have the play that you are, and that's what they see it as I don't.

I don't think they see it as deeply as we do, like it is just a bit of a bit of fun.

They just want to be in on whatever we're doing.

It does not require a seven dollar hydrating hydrogel face mask with vitamin B twelve.

Which leads me to the point about who this is actually right.

And I think the way that we feel about this, the uncomfortable feeling we have, points to something deeper, which is childhood is now this consumer identity in marketing parlance, there is this really large segment of middle class parenting that is massively about performance parenting through purchasing stuff.

So the example I would give is like when you get pregnant, lots of women go down a PRAM rabbit hole because the PRAM that you get the brand of Pram says something about the kind of mother you are, and it's about the right pram, A certain kind of car.

Sad Beije clothing is a big movement, and this is an extension of that.

This is marketed to those parents.

And the other reason I think that is because there are two other elements of this marketing that I noted.

One is the wellness angle, which you pointed out, like, oh, it's all natural and it's non toxic.

But the other thing that I found interesting was the Korean beauty angle.

So when I went onto the website, there's lots of messaging around elevated by Korean innovation.

Now that's interesting because kay beauty is very hot right now.

What it says is if you know about it, you know, you know, you're cultured, you're smart, you're plugged in.

Like using k beauty is like cultural cachet, right.

It says you're cool.

You're not your basic mum with a pink plastic nail kit.

You're a cool mum.

And that's the difference.

Ah God, I just I feel like this has really got under my skin.

I've gone really deep on this.

Who new sheep masks would be the things that would set you off today.

Mo.

Yeah.

I follow this beauty writer called Jessica Defino.

She has this brilliant take on brands like Renie.

She also talks about it in terms of road Hailey Beabers brand, and she says, these products are not made for the real world.

They are made for the mirror world.

That is to say, the world through your phone.

So the point of these products is to take a picture with it, and that's why it's so successful.

It markets itself.

This is not to make kids' skin better or to have a self care moment with mum.

This is a product created to take a picture and share it.

And why are we surprised?

We shouldn't be surprised.

This woman is an actor, she's an influencer.

Her modus operandi as an entrepreneur is to create products that cut through and create noise.

And that's exactly what she's done and we're all falling for it.

What I heard that you argued there was that these sheep masks are being sold not to the three year old, the four year old, the five year old, but to the millennial mum who then wants to post it on Instagram to prove something about how she parents.

Yes, correct, because little girls makeup kits and nail polish, they're nothing new.

They have always existed.

They've been shit and plastic, key and sparkly and gaudy and pink, and they've been sold in toy shops and they've been sold in big w and marketed as toys.

The difference is this is skincare marketed in an aesthetic to the mums.

Yeah, and you're right, because they would just make them white if it was purely for their skin, Like they've got little animal prints on them.

Like, you're right, it's to take a photo, it's to have a mummy daughter day spa.

But then how does that fit with I know that you mentioned that there's a new skin CareLine for a slightly older child.

I think that's why this is causing such outrage because there's been a lot of talk in recent months about the Sephora teen and that's kind of transformed into the Sephora tween, Like it feels like it's getting younger and younger.

There's this fifteen year old YouTuber.

Her name's Salish Matter.

She's got millions of followers on YouTube, like through her dad's account, it's all very strange.

But she launched her own skincare brand into Sephora in the US and eighty thousand people turned up to the launch.

Like, if you think about that amount of people, that's a Taylor Swift concert in Sydney, Like that amount of people with their parents with children as young as eight on their shoulders.

It's gonna ask what is her target?

Yeah, her target audience is tweens, so as young as eg she's looking at like eight to fifteen with her brand, and there's products like so Soft Daily barrier strengthening, lightweight moisturizer, which is more words than any product should have in a career.

Children have perfect barriers exactly.

Brier barrier is barely formed, Like they don't need to be looking after their barrier five and then.

We'll talk about barriers being rightly exactly.

But you're right, it is that now girlhood is being commodified earlier and earlier, and that's what it's feeling like, that we're dragging down that age and selling things to them.

Justine Cullen was on Mama MIA's new Beauty podcast a few weeks ago and she was talking about this as well, that the most worrying part is that we're putting them on a purchasing path so early.

Obviously, you know, we want our kids' skin barriers to be healthy and all of those kinds of things.

But I think the pearl clutching needs to be about, you know, how are we setting our children up on a path of capitalism, on a purchasing path from such a young age.

We are essentially sort of soft onboarding them into a world where they can just be marketed to constantly.

You know, that is a worry.

It's like girlhood used to be.

As you just mentioned girlhood, it was a phase of life.

It was, you know, probably the most important phase in setting up who you were going to be.

And now girlhood is just a marketing demographic.

And I think that that's pretty scary.

That makes me feel so sad.

I think we need to look at it as we're the ones in control of purchasing those products, and if you're purchasing those with the idea of it being for a bit of fun and a bit of whimsy and that connection time with them, is this not just a new version of a little treat like we're told now, don't treat them with lollies, don't treat them with ice blocks for everything they do, Like, this can be the way you bond with them, unless we're planning on giving up using all beauty products ourselves, Like they are going to get to the age where they put fake ten on earth rushes?

Does it feel wrong because childhood is not meant to look like that?

Like, are we railing against the adultification of three year olds?

Like there are lots of comments online saying just let them be kids, Let kids be kids.

Why are we indoctrinating them into adult rituals this early?

Yeah?

Yeah, you're right.

And it's the same thing you think when you see, you know, kids for a dance concert and they've got a full face of makeup on, Like that's part of the performance, but it is jarring and you go ooh, I don't know if I want them to be even having to think about this that early.

So I think that is the tension absolutely.

Okay, So I've got a new term for you.

You've always got the terms for us.

Yeah, this is the new six seven, except not as annoying.

It's great.

Did bring us six seven.

Seven before I heard it in the wild?

Okay, hub Sons, what tell us like husbands, but hub sons.

Okay, there's this story in Vanity Fair this week about how there is a new breed of trad wives.

So trad wives, you know, the traditional women who are like homesteading and doing all the traditional gender role things.

There's now stay at home sons.

I get such a kick out of this.

So there is this new breed of men online who are boasting about the fact that they are stay at home home sons.

I'm so fascinated by this.

So a few of them that they spoke to in this Vanity Fair piece, it's so brilliant.

Well link to it in the show notes.

A few of them, you know, were thereby happenstance, like they lost their jobs or you know, they broke up with their girlfriend and had to move home.

That's not what we're talking about.

They spoke to one in particular, Luke Parkhurst, who quit his job he had a six figure job as a daughter or salesman, sold his house and moved in with his mum for I quote because I.

Wanted to I love this.

Isn't this great?

So he says, his days consistent.

He goes and works out in the morning, goes to the gym, goes and gets groceries for the family, cooks them lunch, cooks them a nice wholesome lunch, spends the afternoon doing chores and cleaning the pool, while his mum, Patty, just has a grand old time.

Wait, who's working in the house.

Well, I think she goes out and works, but then comes home or works from home with this home cooked meal, comes home to all the chores done in the afternoon.

I kind of think she's onto something.

I think Patty's a bit of a genius.

I'm so excited for the Sun Wars.

You know how we had the Mummy Wars.

You just say it at home mums and the mums who worked outside the home.

I want to have the Sun War.

Yeah.

I kind of love that they're so secure in their masculinity, Like they're not bothered that they're being called mummies boys at.

All, which is normally such a stigma.

It dates back to, you know, Psycho, the idea of if you're too close to.

Your mum, there's something wrong with you.

But they're not buying into that.

No, they're kind of going, well, you're saying for women to stay at home, that work should be valued and it should, so.

I'm just going to do that instead.

Someone's got to do it.

What are people saying about what do you call them?

Hubsuns?

Yeah?

Like are people happy about this?

Are people disgusted by this?

What's the temperature?

I think people are really confused and going, is this just like the twenty twenty five version of a slacker?

Like you're just reading branding yourself as if you're mooching off mummy.

But they're trying to say, no, that's that's not what it is, Like someone.

Needs to be here doing all things role.

It's buying into a patriarchal idea that work in the home is not valuable and it's not inherently valuable.

They're saying someone's going to do this work.

You know who is pissed off at them?

The trad wives.

They're not happy.

They're saying, we don't want that type of man we want to provide up.

We want a man who's going to go out and be doing a lot of those things so we can have that role.

So they are on opposite sides of the fence.

That's interesting you say that, because that's where my mind went.

My mind went to their Tinder profile, like how are they gonna Are they going to tell people what they do?

Like if some if you're dating someone and you're like, what do you do for work?

And they said, Oh, I just break up the leaves.

I'm a stay at armage.

Yeah, yeah, I don't know.

That might feel kind of unattractive.

It's a bit of a double standard, isn't it.

Like when women do it this tradwive movement, like it's aspirational that when men do it, it's like, gives me the icker bit, but I want to love it.

But also I'm like, oh, those patriarchal norms they run so deep, and really, yeah they do, they do.

Thank you for bringing us that little gem.

I want to talk about the most problematic thing that parents get told constantly.

When I had two under two, there was a phrase that I heard a lot.

Well meaning people would look at my harried face and my bird's nest hair and my two year old having a meltdown and my baby screaming, and they would say takes a village, and I would smile and I would nod, and I thought, where is my village?

Like where is where is this mystical village?

Who is going to hold this baby, Who's going to make me a lasagna?

Who's going to let me sleep?

Who's going to fold all this washing?

There was an article this week in the Atlantic by Olga Kazan which put into words this exact feeling, and the headline was the most useless piece of parenting advice, And she basically says that this phrase it takes a village, has got to be one of the most useless cliches in modern parenting because even though it sounds wholesome, it's completely unrealistic for today parents, especially mums.

She just says, the social infrastructure has changed, guys, there is no village.

You need to buy your village now.

The village is now a transaction that you are the manager of.

So Stacy, am I the only one feeling this?

No, definitely not.

And I think even if you have family nearby or friends who say to you, you know, if you need anything, just let me know.

The reality is they're just as busy as you like.

They're both working, They've got the same amount of kids, if not more kids than you.

It ends up just being like the village takes time, it takes comparing of calendars, it takes mental load, it's just too difficult that you just go, I just don't have time for this.

We just have to be our own village.

It's not necessarily an individual's problem, right There's been a larger societal shift with cost of living.

Like back in the day of the village, there were more stay at home mums.

People owned houses, so there were neighbors that put down roots and knew each other.

There might have been grand parent's close by.

But now everyone is spread out, everyone is working, everyone is time poor.

So yeah, I do think the traditional village is dead.

I knew that you.

Were both going to bring up the cost of living and the housing and all of this is true, the time poor.

But I have a more confronting question to ask you, and that is do you even want a village?

And I think this is something that we're all grappling with because you know what it takes to be in a village.

Everyone wants a village, but no one wants to be a villager.

That's a phrase that I'm told is all over the internet right now, even for people who don't have children.

This question of am I prepared to inconvenience myself to be part of a village is real and the answer for most people these days, who are used to Uber eats and getting everything on demand, the answer is probably no.

I don't want to be a villager.

Yeah.

I saw this great Instagram post the other day and it was saying annoyance is the price you have to pay for community, and none of us want to be annoyed, no, Like it is having to have a really long conversation with the neighbor about they're you know, boring fence or something after they've looked after your kid.

Like, you have to deal with annoying people if you want them to be there doing favors for here.

And this is true, by the way, again, not just for people with kids, but everyone these days.

Em Vernon MoMA mia Is m Vernon wrote a fantastic piece on site this week about this concept.

She wrote, we mourn the loss of community, yet we forget that a village requires participation.

She talked about how she wanted to go up with her friend.

They've made a plan.

She was excitedly putting on her eyeliner, and just as she was putting her makeup on, she gets a ping on her phone.

Her friend had counseled.

She said, I don't feel it going out tonight, and em wrote about how she wasn't even surprised because flaking on plans, canceling on people, this is just the new normal.

We've forgotten what it means to be a villager.

Yeah, there was an article in Slate this week that talked about that as well, Like it was called I'm starting to think you don't want a village, and they were saying the same thing, like the community is not really a priority for us anymore, and it's kind of a bibe product of us being such involved parents now, So the standard for who we would trust to look after our kids, or the standard for caregivers for our kids is so high that we go, well, no, I'm not going to let a fourteen year old babysit my kid, Like I'm not gonna let the neighbor down the road have my kid without a full police check.

That piece was really raw.

The author talked about how they were constantly reaching out to people in their life and saying, let's get together with the kids, let's go to the playground, let's had dinner together, and was constantly getting rebuffed because we're out of town this weekend.

We have sports practice today, everyone's lives have become so busy and so scheduled that finally this person thought, well, no one really wants a village with me.

That's why I can't have a village.

Forget cost of living.

No one wants it anymore.

Oh that's so sad, guys, that is really sad.

What all the researchers are saying.

They're all wringing their hands over this because we have a loneliness epidemic and it's only going to increase with this kind of the way that we're living.

Like, there's no answer here.

But I do think I think what's interesting is that you said before, Amelia, we're not sure if we want it, And to be honest, I relate to that because I do find that when I pay someone to look after my kids, it's very clean cut and that kind of everyone knows where they stand.

I like the transactional nature of it.

That's so true, Mon's and I think that money takes emotion out of things.

And part of what's awkward about getting people to say, mind your kids who are not being paid is they may not do things the way you want them to do things.

Yeah, and then it creates a really awkward.

Dynamic because they feel like they're doing you a favor, which they are.

You don't want them giving them.

You know, a whole bunch of Halloween lolly is leftover just half an hour before dinner.

But how can you say that to them when they're doing you a favor.

That's the problem with the village.

We've gotten so used to saying this is exactly how I want a parent, particularly millennial parents who are used to getting their own way on these things.

All of a sudden, letting someone in and losing control is really uncomfortable.

Yeah, there's also the emotional load of a village.

It's the give and take.

You take someone else's kid than they owe you, and that's kind of another load that when you don't have anything left to give that like, no one's got the energy for that as well.

Yeah, that's such a good point.

My parents told me that when they were starting out with their first kid in the seventies, their neighborhood had a list, like a paper list, of everyone in the neighborhood who wanted to be in a babysitting collective, and so you would just sort of do a babysitting swap with another set of parents.

Now I cannot imagine that happening today because the level of trust between people who don't know each other is just not there.

Yeah.

Yeah, so my parents run a system of curtain rings.

I don't know how this makes sense, but they had a big pile of curtain rings in Each family would take ten curtain rings, and every time you wanted someone to look after your kids, you would swap the curtain rings.

I'm like, are you all right?

Were you just all smoking on something?

Like?

What?

Now?

We expect community to be completely frictionless, Like we don't want there to be any tension, any awkwardness.

But maybe we need to deal with a little bit of that.

Look any parenting out lauders out there who want to get involved, be a villager, go on by your curtainry.

Yes.

I also want to just mention like the burden of building the village, because this feels like it falls disproportionately on women, Like we don't tell dads to go and find their tribe.

It's always the mums that are trying to create the village.

So on top of being exhausted, you're also meant to be running your own community outreach program like it's a lot, a lot.

I do think the lesson here is kind of like, stop telling people to find your village.

Also, if you don't have one, like stop blaming yourself for not having one.

It's not you.

I really want to buy it.

I've been campaigning my husband to buy like a people mover, because I want to be the mum that takes all the kids to like bastbal training and soccer training.

I want to be there.

You're sure, you're like, yeah, I want the full bus that goes around and picks up every kid.

That's so nice.

One's that would be my worst night man.

But I love that view.

And please come and pick up my child anytime you want.

All right, it's up for recommendations.

And what I love the most about this week's is that they're all really low cost.

I feel like everywhere I look at the moment, it's like say, oh, click, frenzy, spend, spend spent.

So I love that we are bringing three things that are just very low cost.

Yeah, it's refreshing.

Tight ass recommendations this week?

Yes, yes, nice.

That is what's.

Spurred mine on mine this week.

I've found myself on dense bean salad TikTok.

Have you seen this?

I have not.

I need you to.

It sounds unappealing.

Yeah, this girl, she's known now as DNSE Bean Salad Girl Violet Witchell, but there's lots of recipes around, but she basically just shared how she makes her meal.

Preps herself a dense bean salad at the beginning of every week and it's the way she gets all her protein and fiber and all the things.

And I found out this week my iron is on the floor.

Law was the term that my doctor used.

So I'm trying to eat a little better and this is kind of a cheap way to do it.

So it's just you chuck in chickpeas and cannellini beans, cut up a bunch of vegetables that you like, capsicum, cucumber, put some cheese in there for interest, so fetter all those little boccan chini bools so good.

I put those in mine, cut up some herbs, and then you can choose a protein.

So no, you don't have to cook it.

I just put a barbecue chicken in mind, because I didn't want to stand around cooking chicken and then do whatever dressing you like.

Honest, she preferred she had a dressing that was like olive oil, balsamic and mustard.

I think it was mixed together.

We can link to some of the videos because they're so great.

You just kind of make it whatever you want it to be.

And I've eaten it four days in a row.

Now I feel so full.

I think it cost maybe like three bucks a serve and it actually kept.

I thought it would be gross by the end of the week, but it's not.

That reminds me.

I once read that Jennifer Aniston ate the same chopped salad every day of Friends filming for the entire yeahow, yeah, it feels like you've found in Jennifer Aniston group.

Maybe.

I mean, I'll probably be bored of it by next week, but it's a great one to have in the rotation, and.

It tastes really good.

From someone who's never eaten a bean really before this, I'm loving it.

How's your tomb?

Oh?

Look, my tomb did go into panic mode on day one.

I won't lie day four and now fine, great, I feel quite good.

Are you having to step outside of the office every few hours just to release No, seriously.

It's fine.

The first day I had it, I was working from home.

Thank god.

Okay that's your tip.

Kay, have it at home.

Yeah, I have it at home.

The first day you eat it and then you'll be fine.

What's your wreck this week?

Month?

Do you want to know how Christmas trees on display looks so good and full?

Is this because you've been on that Facebook group about Christmas?

Again?

Like, I can't say I've.

Asked a question which I don't think either of us has ever wanted, but now I need to.

Know now you've said it.

Yes, obviously I've been on Christmas Mom's Australia.

It's my favorite Facebook group.

You don't judge me and guess what our tree is already up.

Of course I'm actually judging your hard for that.

I know you are.

I don't care.

There's two types of people in this world.

No Christmas tree people and December Christmas tree people.

If you have an artificial tree that always looks spindly and a bit shit to listen up.

Okay, I'm taking notes.

You need to fluff your tree.

This is where I learned this on the page.

You put gloves on, you sit down and branch by branch, you spend time with your tree.

No separating the branches fluffy.

I think I should interrupt you and say that when we were going through what we were going to bring today, you wrote in a message that you wanked your Christmas tree, and that is.

What you called.

Yes, I do call it wanking the tree, because that's what it feels like.

You're just running your hands along the branches.

You get a bit sweaty, it's hard, you know, it's a bit.

You're wearing gloves while you which is odd.

It's a bit boring in the middle, but at the end it's very satisfying.

So that is the secret.

The more you fluff, the fuller it looks.

So we have an Audi tree and I fluffed the shit out of it and it looks okay like it's no Balsom Hills.

But that's okay, Like we're not on a Balsom Hills budget.

We're on an Audi budget.

So we do hills.

Oh, Amelia, Amelia, all the things I could teach you about Christmas.

Balsom Hills trees are like the Vogue tree, the Vogue Christmas Tree, Vogue standard.

They're like incredibly expensive, incredibly lifelike.

These trees cost like one thousand dollars.

I've been campaigning for one for five years now, and every time my husband says we're not a Balsam Hills family, We're an Audi family.

I say, you're right, darling.

I bet you don't have to wank the ball some Hills trees.

I bet they are just come out of the box perfect.

Every year, every tree wanks.

Every tree needs a wanking.

So that's my weekend tip.

Get to wang in your tree.

Well, I'm going to suggest something on ABC I View because I just think they're going to move on.

A palette cleanser for us after that conversation.

It is called Hard Quiz Kids.

Back in my day, kids were seen and not heard.

Now we're forced to see them and hear them on Hard Quiz Kids.

Let's play.

This is Tom Gleason's trivia show for kids.

It's in the middle of its second season and I'm recommending it because it's a fun, intergenerational show.

So, speaking of village, when we get together with my parents for dinner, you know you like to watch something else.

It's really hard to find something that appeals to a five year old and a seventy five year old, but this is it.

Everyone gets involved, everyone plays along, shouts out their answers.

It's very good.

Are the kids a bit precocious?

They are, and I think they're very good role models for little kids because they're so confident and passionate about their pet subject.

And I love seeing kids get really into something.

There are a lot of dinosaurs as subjects.

The interesting thing is that they're not really allowed to repeat subjects, so some of them get really niche, just as they do on the main show.

Like Minecraft has definitely been exhausted.

If you are a kid who wants to go on hard Quiz Kids, you cannot do Minecraft or dinosaurs or Harry Pots.

They each have like a specialty subject they okay, yeah, yeah, oh so cute.

Love it.

That's all we have time for this week on Parenting out Loud.

If you're looking for something to listen to, next our episode from last week in case you missed it, has been our most downloaded one yet.

Like we had this big chat about sleep deprivations parents, so it's well worth going back if you missed it the first time round.

Have a great week.

Will be back in this feed next Saturday morning.

Bye Bye.

MoMA.

Mea acknowledges the traditional owners of the land on which we have recorded this podcast