You're listening to a Mom and mea podcast.

Have you guys, ever been on a fart walk?

So basically what it means is after dinner.

It's best done in the evening.

Take yourself out and just go on a little bit of a perambulation or stroll for twenty minutes or so, and you know, get those digestive juices going and get some relief if you've had a fibrous dinner.

I mean questions.

I don't think it's a complicated concept.

I've never done a fart in my life, so I don't know what you're talking about.

I just fight in my car.

I go for a fight.

I think the act of like getting into the car and putting your legs up is a good angle.

This is so disgusting.

No, it's no one's going to come.

It's important parenting content because our favorite Australian parenting expert, Maggie Dent does say that you should fight in front of your kids because it shows vulnerability and creates connection and they think it's really funny.

Okay, welcome to Parenting out Loud, the podcast of people who don't always listen to parenting podcasts.

We unpack the news trends, culture and what parents are thinking about.

I'm on Eat Bolly, I'm Amelia Asta, and I'm Stacey Hicks coming up today.

The social media ban is imminent and you might think it's got nothing to do with you or your kids, but I'm telling you this might be the parenting gift of our era.

And the last time.

Trend is everywhere, but there's a little problem with it.

And a royal family's Christmas tree has really sent me into a spiral, and I think I know why.

But first a sentence is about to come out of my mouth that I never thought I would say.

The Wiggles are in trouble.

They did something wrong, which is pretty impressive that it's the first time that this has happened in what have they been around?

Thirty years, twenty years a long time.

The words Wiggles scandal and I prayed it didn't mean they were in the Epstein file.

No, it's very very PG.

Look.

So a spokesperson for their band had to issue a statement after Anthony Field, the Blue Wiggle and his nephew, I didn't know that the Dancing Tree is his nephew.

You know, the one that doesn't It's a big family thing and the managers his brother.

Yeah, it's all yeah, and they're all married to each other and that's all their nephews and nieces are in it.

Yeah.

Yeah, very sweet family business.

But they had to issue this statement after they were filmed in a video with Kelly Holiday.

So they actually appeared on stage with him at the TikTok Awards and it was great, Like they danced to his song Dancing Too, which is a banger.

He's a singer.

He's from Peaking Duck.

You know, the Ossie band, Peaking Duck.

Nope, Anyway, they came on stage with him.

It was a great crossover of Ossie music, very wholesome, very lovely.

But it's this video that was taken clearly backstage before or after the TikTok Awards, where they're just dancing in a green room together.

But when Kelly posted that after the fact, he put his song over the top with the lyrics hey girl, come on dance with me, you and your pocket full of ecstasy.

Oh but maybe he just meant happiness.

Maybe maybe pocket full of sunshine.

Yeah, But people did not take that very kindly, and a few parenting experts came out and said it was a lapse of judgment.

So they it is.

And they came out in their statement and said, the Wiggles do not support or condone the use of drugs in any form, obviously, and they said that the content being shared was not created or approved by us, and we have asked for it to be removed.

Well, Kelly Holiday is a friend of the Wiggles.

The video and the music added to were created independently and without our knowledge.

What do we think of them?

The obsessed with this story.

So the headline I saw was the Wiggles apologize after appearing in Kelly holiday ecstasy video.

And I laughed out loud and I sent it to you both immediately, and I was like, we have to talk about it.

This is layered.

Can I just remind you the Wiggles are not just a kid's band.

They released an M album a few years ago.

Here's a little snippet of what was on that album.

I had no idea.

I actually didn't know this either.

I did not song about.

A monkey something like that.

Now EDM music stands for electronic dance music.

This is an industry where drug use is fairly prevalent.

I am not at all linking the Wiggles to drug use.

I'm just saying they play in a space that is also for adults.

And this is what's interesting about it, because this is a brand that exists in two lanes.

One is for current kids, but the other lane that they're in is for the adults that grew up with them, and that's really lucrative for them.

So not only did they release an album, They've performed at Falls Festival, They've done eighteen plus shows.

They did a triple J like a version cover that won the Hottest one hundred in twenty twenty one.

Yeah, they have a podcast, their Instagram is full of memes.

They have this character called the Tree of Wisdom who is very memorable, and they do a lot of social media content that's directed at the power of nostalgia and adults.

But then now when someone mentions drugs, they're suddenly like, oh nah, we're a kid's bed, Like is that the line for them?

Like it's okay for them to play in these adult spaces, but as soon as someone mentions a drug, it's like no, no, no, Like.

What, Yeah, Well, I think they have done a really good job of walking that line of being for the adults who grew up with them know their songs.

They've held dance parties before where you know, just it's eighteen plus, as you said, go and attend that and have a great time.

But they've never kind of veered into that lane.

You never see them drinking.

You never see them doing anything that would be considered, you know, inappropriate if a child saw it, because that is the thing.

They are so recognizable to kids.

Like I even went to an event years ago that Lockie and Emma Wiggle were both at and there was champagne being passed around and they drank cups of tea.

So they read an event there was no children present and they drank cups of tea.

So that's how careful this band is about their personal appearance.

They didn't even want to get in the background of a photo where there was a chance they would got it.

Were they wearing their signatures, No, they were in their civilian clothes.

Like that's how careful they are.

And I think it's great that they do that because it is true, like you don't really want a band that your kids are listening to really crossing that line and really interesting point that makes me think about Sabrina Carpenter, who has been touring the US, and I've been hearing parents taking their kids to that show because her music is poppy, and I guess it appeals to young kids, and a lot of the lyrics of those songs are actually pretty racy, yeah, and also include squear words.

And there's this question of do you let your kids sing along with these songs that they love which have these really dangerous lyrics.

So I guess it's nice that there are bands like The Wiggles where you don't have to have that ethical dilemma totally.

Yeah, And I mean, look, fair play to them.

They've cleared it up and said, we had nothing to do with it.

We didn't know that that song would be the one that was played over the top of that.

Yeah, and we move on.

I still think they're squeaky clean.

I do too, And I think you're right, Stacey.

They do do a very good job of walking the line and being this kind of multi generational ip across kids and adults.

That's so interesting about the Cups of Tea, And I think I think the other problem with this was that the video, which has since been deleted.

I guess all the stuff that they're doing on socials is from them, and they're controlling it and they're controlling the message.

But this seems like kind of a cowboy move.

It may have been a cowboy move from Kelly Holiday to just put them in this with that kind of prior.

Approvals, which is a bit chiky.

So it shows how toly the brand is controlled.

It's interesting.

It's interesting.

I've got these two friends called Fred and Mary and they posted this really cute video this week.

Do you know them too?

If they got four children and live in Denmark?

Yeah, okay, yeah, same friends.

Mary, Yeah, yeah, I just call him Mary, Yeah, and I call him Fred, but I.

Call him Mez.

I must be closer to her than you are.

But I think his technical title is King Frederic.

But anyway, so Queen Mary and King Frederic posted this really cute video decorating the Christmas tree, and I was happy for them and it looked like a delightful time.

It also made me feel profoundly inferior and a little bit sad.

Let me explain why this video was forty six seconds of everything you want from a Christmas ritual.

There was this like lovely music playing.

Where did you see this on Instagram.

I don't know the exact name.

It just googled Danish royal family for the Instagram account.

I'm looking at it now.

It's like done gonga, Yeah, thank you.

That's the one way.

There's no speaking in it.

It's just these forty six second of perfection they're decorating at Let me get this title right.

At Frederick the Eight's palace of Amalienborg, you know, the palace of a mile.

Yeah, I've been there a couple of times a dollar.

I'd never seen it with the tree up and at one point teenage children, of which they have four, they are literally folk dancing.

The children are folk dancing.

Now.

I don't know about you, but this is not how the tree decorating went down in my house.

It is not how it went down.

There was a squabble between a parent and a child about what aesthetic we wanted for the tree.

Oh okay, the parent, who shall remain nameless but has amazing taste wanted a really sort of maximalist kitch vibe, and the child, who shall also remain nameless because I just don't think they have an eye, wanted a really minimalist thing with no tinsel and no bubbles.

It really descended into quite an ugly spat and there was no folk dancing.

But I do have to give Mary kudos for staying in touch with their roots.

It's really cute.

She put this bable shape like the opera house on the tree, which is really nice.

There was also a koala buble.

I didn't see any of those decorations that you get when you, you know, when you order three your kids' school, the school photo and a little.

Stuff, some of those super sheep those.

But there was a replica of their palace in barble form, which was nice, which is nice to me.

I should get one of my two bedroom flat.

But look, I just wanted to say or check in with you on whether this video also made you feel like this or if it's just I should get over it and Fred and Mary live an idylic picture postcard Christmas life.

Are you okay?

Because I have never known you to be made to feel bad by a literal royal.

We're not at the same note.

But I think that the reason why is because you know, around Christmas you have all these expectations about how all these beautiful rituals that you remember from your childhood are going to go on.

Yes, so true.

And when the beautiful rituals don't go exactly how you wanted them to go in the tree doesn't look exactly the way you wanted it to look.

Because I think tinsel ads a spot of cheer.

I agree.

I think it really sends you into a bit of a chissy.

Yeah, yeah, I think for what it's worth.

Whichever nameless parent that was, Yeah, I think their vibe sounds much.

Yeah.

Thanks, the child clearly knows nothing.

I'm pro chaotic Christmas tree.

I think that these perfect Christmas trees are overrated, And I just want to give you a little tiny bit of perspective.

One of my friends is going through a terrible divorce and she now has to have separated and she has her own tree now, and her own tree doesn't have any of the crazy weird kids stuff on it, and she's deeply sad about it.

So I think the crazy weird Christmas trees need to make a really big comeback.

They're great.

Mon.

That means a lot to me because you are Miss Christmas.

Yes Christmas.

I don't know what title you prefer, but that means a lot to me.

Thank you.

I thought you were going to.

Say, you like measure yours out perfectly so that they're all spaced.

No, I can see you doing that.

The more crazy child's made craft shit that's on my tree, I'm all about it.

I love it.

It's hilarious.

I think you should know that wanking the Christmas tree has entered the parlance hearing different places.

I've told several people about you wanking your Christmas tree for what.

That's a great tip.

There's heaps of wankers out there.

It's not just me.

There's wankers everywhere.

All right.

You might have heard a little bit this week about the social media band that's coming in.

So this week every kid under sixteen is going to be shut out of social media TikTok, Instagram, Snapchat, the lot.

There's chaos in high schools.

We're talking millions of kids about to lose their streaks.

They're going to lose their group chats, they're going to lose their kind of entire social fabric, right before school holidays, right before those very long summer school holidays.

Now, if you've got little kids, you might think, oh, there's got nothing to do with me.

I actually don't care.

Yeah, this was me, like you both know.

When this was brought up as something that we might talk about on the show, I was like, but we have little kids, Like, this isn't a problem for us, This is far in the future, Like this is for the people with teenage kids, right, Like, why should we be looking at this now?

And you made a point that changed my perspective.

It actually did change my perspective.

Yeah, I think this might be the biggest gift that our kids will ever get from government policy.

You know what, this whole thing reminds me of seat belts.

I think this is the seat belt moment of this generation.

And by that I mean back in the sixties, no one wore seat belts.

Kids were just rolling around the back seat of the Holden station wagon like loose oranges.

And we always joke in this family.

My husband was taken home from hospital in a wicker basket, just like placed on the back seat of the car.

Super chill wicker baskets.

Jesus, No, that was in the eighties anyway.

Quite Soberingly, road deaths were horrific.

Nineteen sixty nine was the deadliest year on Australian roads ever.

And then Victoria, little old Victoria, did something really wild.

They became the first place in the entire world to make seat belts compulsory.

I didn't know that.

I know, yes, it's wild.

And at the time people were like, oh, do we need this, And there was all this confusion and people said it was controlling and annoying.

And then the numbers came in and road deaths just went ow and they just wanted actual chills.

You said seatbelt moment in planning, and I was like, yeah, yeah, seatbelt moment.

But now I get why you said that, because Australia made seat belts happen.

We did yeah, And suddenly when the road deaths just absolutely plummeted, everyone understood.

Everyone was like, oh, okay, we get it.

Now we were complete world leaders in this and now we don't even think about it.

You just get in the car, put the seatbelt on.

What I'm saying is like this social media ban feels like that moment.

It's the moment that we are changing the default where kids get protected before all the damage happened.

And I think what's so powerful about it is it's taken out of our hands, the decisions taken out of our hands.

We don't have to be the mean parent because this protection, this layer of protection is now baked into the system.

And I just want to say, I know if you are a parent of teens right now, it's going to be messy for you and that's yuck and I'm sorry.

But for us with little kids, our kids get to grow up in a new normal.

So I'm very happy about that, Like, thank you for this gift.

Yeah, And that's been the thing is that so much of the rhetoric around it is about but how is this going to work?

These teenagers will find a way around it, and yeah, like for the kids that are in it right now that have had social media and are now going to have it taken away, it is messy.

It's not perfect for those children.

But there's an adjustment anytime something like this happens.

Like, you know, you used to smoke on planes in our parents' generation, and of course when that got taken away, all the frequent flyers that used to be like puffing up the back would have been annoyed and like, well, how am I possibly going to get through a flight without that?

But then there's an adjustment period and now that's very normal, Like we would think that that was so weird.

If that happened, so you need to be able to give anything like this time to happen.

It really is going to be so great for those of us with little kids now when it is just very much the normal.

This conversation is making me feel something that I haven't felt in a long time about politics.

I feel hope.

Yeah, I feel like a better world is possible.

Yeah.

I was watching this show called The English Teacher, which is quite funny.

It's on Disney and it's a comedy series.

The best line from the most recent season was a character who's very sort of like irresponsible, gets in the car and he says, are we belting or not belting?

And it's funny because we all belt.

Yeah, but we take for granted that there was a time when that was also seen as preposterous and far fetched.

And probably car manufacturers, just like the social media companies are today about the extra costs that were entailed in manufacturing seat belts and making sure that they were in the cars.

Yeah, And obviously there's the argument of that this is nanny state, this is us over policing everything, and I think it does need to be treated as seriously as road deaths.

But it's not because I think people look at it and think that the link isn't as clear between the safety of our kids and social media.

Yeah, it's like it's less direct, but it's definitely there.

At the National Press Club, the Minister for Communications appeared with four people who had been affected by the suicides of teens who were influenced by what had happened to them online and by social media.

So I think we are saying that this is going to save lives.

Yeah, just like seat belts did.

What I think is so exciting about this for parents of children under the age of seven, or kids who are not yet on social media, is that this is going to change the way their brains function.

I read an article in the Nine newspapers last week by the psychologist Zach Seidler.

He was making the point that for teenagers, part of why this is going to be so difficult to adjust to is because the neural pathways in their brain are already wired for the instant gratification that you get from social media.

You take away that instant gratification and it's like an addiction has all of a sudden been wrenched from them.

He's concerned that for teenagers.

This is going to push teenagers into more dangerous, less regulated parts of the internet, gambling, porn, AI girlfriends, really scary stuff.

But the flip side is for kids who haven't yet had those neural pathways wired for instant gratification on the Internet, they are going to look to other activities to satiate themselves.

Yeah, I mean, it would be very great if we could just say that all of these kids now that are going to have their social media shut off could just go and suddenly ride their bike for four hours a day.

That's not going to happen.

Like for those kids, there is going to be a big period of recalibration.

You're right, Like the positive of it is kids now coming up through it, that benchmark is further away for them, Like by the time they get to that, they're going to be so much more developed in their brain, and there's so much research around that, like that not exposing them to that gives them a better sense of self and a better sense of self confidence before they kind of join social media.

Is this the first time that parents of little kids are kind of ahead of the curve.

It feels a bit like that.

It's interesting, isn't it because Jonathan Haate, who is the psychologist who has driven a lot of the awareness around the dangers of social media for children.

He wrote this book The Anxious Generation that is a real touchstone for that argument.

He made this interesting point about Australia's Social Media band which, by the way, he called this single most important legislation ever enacted on planet Earth.

Wow, So it's fair to say that he is in favor of it.

He said, I've been calling this a mother's revolution because that is what has been driving it all over the world.

He says, the tech companies profoundly alienated the mothers of the world, and they've turned the mothers of the world into their enemies.

And that is arguably the most powerful political force in his mothers protecting their children.

And it just feels so great to be listened to on that.

You know how Australians feel very proud and almost cocky about the gun laws compared to Americans, like we feel so much like, well, yeah, we went and did something about that, we fixed it, and I'm hoping that that's what this is going to feel like.

It's the next thing of all.

Australia were the first ones to do it look at what we're doing and look at the effects it's had, and hopefully that'll have a flow off.

Guess what, Malaysia is already implementing a band very similar to Australia's, and Indonesia is looking at doing the same thing.

Now they're coming at it from a slightly different angle.

Particularly in Malaysia there's less of a culture of freedom of speech.

But nonetheless it does show that other countries are looking to Australia as a benchmark.

When you say it was the Mother's Revolution, can I just put my flag in the ground for South Australia.

It's been widely reported that it was the wife of the South Australian premier who read Jonathan Hats's book The Anxious Generation and she was the one that urged action.

Now I just want to say she is not just the wife of the South Australian premiere.

Annabelle Malamowskus is a lawyer, an extremely intelligent person of her own standing.

It just irks me that it's like, oh, the wife of the powerful guy was the one that started this whole thing.

She's her own person.

Thank you South Australia guy.

Who Annabell legend.

Yeah for Annabel this week and the eve of the most important legislation ever enacted on planet Earth.

So kind of speaking of social media, do you remember the last time you logged out of MySpace and you just never logged back in again, Or the last time you did your makeup on your friend's bedroom floor in front of the mirror before you went out to the club, probably with a fake idea.

Now, if you just got a sad, longing feeling like I just saw that Mom's had when I was talking about those things, then this is about to hit you in the fields.

Take a listen.

One night in the two thousands, we did our last lap of the club, and we didn't know it would be put our bank card in a cash machine and got a mini statement for the last time.

The last time we signed off a text message with please text back or PTB, like we would have been on the cusp of unlimited minutes and text and we didn't even know it, And so we still have that sort of like hint of desperation at the end of our messages.

One night we hung up the landline fine for the last time, and then we've never used it since.

One night I asked my mum what was for dinner?

And it was the very last time, And.

Now other people asked me what's for dinner, and I don't know.

One night we rewound a VHS for the very last time and put it through the postbox and Blockbuster.

I'm pretty sure we were also all in debt when it went out of business.

That was Helen McPherson in what started as a joke, but as you heard, she quickly descended into tears, which is what I do when I think about this stuff as well.

I froth this content like there's nothing I love more than the nostalgia of thinking about things that you can't get back, that just.

Slowly slipped away from.

You, Like I want my doorbeads and my inflatable sea through purple arm chair I had for some reason.

I want all of that back.

And I feel like it all gets amplified.

When you have kids, because then you see how quickly they change and you lose those stages with them, and so you get.

Sad about that as well.

And I feel like millennials in particular are responsible for this, like love of nostalgia.

There's this big trend on TikTok now called the Last Time, where parents are getting their kids who are like teenagers or you know, around like that eleven twelve year old mark and saying to them, I don't remember the last time I picked you up and put you down, so I'm going to do it now.

And they're filming themselves picking up their children for the last time, and the kids often cry like it feels like it's this meaningful thing to the kids as well that they cry in these videos, So like, is nostalgia lovely or is it just making us really sad?

I hate this so much.

I hated that video.

I thought, oh my god, I thought it was us that she started crying about the Blockbuster and the lambline, And I think this it's something when it comes to the parenting incarnation of this last time content.

I think there is something borderline masochistic about consuming it.

And I'm going to explain to you why you don't need to worry about the last time.

I need to set it up with this grab that I think Mon's is going to find really hard to get through.

Okay, it's the most prevalent last time parenting content that's out there.

It's from Jordan Peterson and it was everywhere, particularly during the pandemic like twenty twenty one.

Let's say I know it and I'm about to solve BA prepared.

You have little kids for four years, and if you miss it, it's done.

That's it.

That period between zero and four, zero and five, there's something about it that's really it's like a peak experience in life, and it's much of your life, you know, because you think of it as a long time, it's not that long.

Man.

Four years goes by so fast you can't believe it, and if you miss it, it's gone.

Before I take this down, Mon's reactions.

Start making me feel bad.

Jordan Peterson, Like, I think when I first saw this, and I've seen it so many times, I feel slapped in the face by it, and I feel guilty, and I don't think it's the content that we need.

I love it like I've never like.

Don't you two just sit and like scroll photos of your kids when they were little on your phone after you've gotten angry at them because they're not going to sleep, and then you lay there and you miss them and you look at photos of them.

I don't know.

I think there's something about nostalgia where it's immovable, like it can't change.

It's a set time period that's gone from you.

You can never get back to it.

And I think that's why it feels so perfect, Like you want to be able to relive those things, and it's nice to feel like, oh those like yes to you was a lovely time.

What do you think, Amelia, I think.

It has a dark side.

I think there's something a little bit pernicious about it, and I want to unpack why that video really had the impact it did, and I think there's something quite pernicious about it.

So let me just explain first of all, Jordan Peterson.

If you don't know who he is, he's a masculinity influencer, I guess you'd call him.

He's also a psychologist.

But he has said a lot of things that are pretty questionable.

He said there's no such thing as climate, which I think anyone who's been outside in the rain might disagree with, or anyone who's experienced a bushfire.

He said, at least for a while, that he was only eating beef and salt and water, which, apart from anything else, I think would make you very constipated.

He need some fiber, Jordan, I don't think it's a coincidence that he has lots of pretty dangerous views.

He's also transphobic, he's also sexist, and that he's pushing this line.

This clip that we heard is one of his twelve rules for life, and he's all about discipline and power and control.

Why does it matter what he does in his personal life compared to what he's telling us.

Let me explain.

He definitely believes in a particular type of parenting that I think is quite dangerous in some ways.

For instance, he definitely believes in physical punishment and coercion of children.

He has talked about force feeding his son, and he makes clear that he thinks there are two types of parents.

There are the bad and the mushy ones who kind of indulge their children and treat them like human beings, and then there are the ones who control their children and discipline them for their own good.

Because his basic thesis of childhood is that you're preparing your children to enter this dog eat dog, tough social world, and you have to set them up for it.

So what I'm saying is there's a reason why Jordan Peterson thinks that the years between zero and five are so magical, and that everything that comes after that is just sort of not as special.

Is because the years between zero and five are the years that you can control your child in a much more effective way than when they develop their own views on things.

They develop their own opinions, and that might clash with what you, as a parent want for them.

But it's almost like that grab has been taken and been co opted by all the mushy parents like me.

You have seen the glimmer of truth in that and gone, but it is such a finite time, and that's why you kind of want to be present in it.

Yes, it makes you feel bad, as you say, Mom's like, it does make you feel sad when that's gone and you can never get back to it.

But isn't that like what nostalgia.

No, I'm really glad that you said that, because I'm not saying that everyone who connected with this necessarily subscribes to anything that Jordan Peterson says about anything.

Yeah, but I'm.

Saying that the reason why he believes so strongly that zero to five is the only magic special time in a child's life is because he has these certain views about how important it is to control your children and shape them in your image.

Okay, So basically we need to not be as sad about the fact that those years are gone, but just be focusing on.

Them now be wonderful in different ways.

I do think that's true, and I do think that that's what is missed in that kind of clip.

Is this idea that once your child's five and they start speaking up for themselves and developing their own opinions, that isn't also magical and special in itself, because it is.

But hang on, Devil's Advocate, he's not wrong.

No, the first thousand days of a child's life is really important for attachment, for brain development.

That's why there's lots of public health messages around You've got to read to your child, you've got to talk to your child, you've got to pay attention to your child.

There's now public health campaigns about putting your phone down and making eye contact with your baby and your toddler.

For me, I think the underlying message is true, and we see public health messages around that and evidence around that.

I think it's the delivery for me that I have a problem with.

It's very shaming.

It feels very shaming.

Shaming because it's saying like you're not paying enough attention.

Yeah, you have to get this right.

It feels very much like that.

For instance, the Princess of Wales now has this big campaign on the importance of the early years child.

Yeah, and we've talked about also on this show how important she says it is to put your phone down when you're talking to your infant and your toddler.

And I think all of that's true ones, but somehow when I hear it from her, it feels less all or nothing.

Yeah, And when the masculinity influencer tells me that zero to five is it?

This is what he does.

He makes contentious statements and delivers him in a way that's very direct for reach or engagement for people that will engage with the content.

And I think that's my problem with this last moment trend that I'm seeing, and I keep falling for it, all those mums that pick up their child for the last time on their Instagram, Like, are you truly in the moment if you're filming the moment and then you're trying to find matching music and then you're thinking of a great caption and you're hoping it goes viral.

No, you're not.

I think that's so cynical though, Like, yes, the filming of it takes away some of the moment, But I love the thought of remembering all of those last things, like the last time they did everything, the last time they go to KINDI, the last time they drink from a bottle, like I think I even kept the bottle that my daughter had her last milkin.

You know, it is those things that just are like special moments in time with them that you can't get back.

So I kind of like the idea of parents reclaiming a moment and going, oh, I missed it, but I could do it now and I could have that and kind of see that in my memory.

When you focus on last it makes you feel inherently bad because you're like, did I fully savor the moment?

And I think mother's in particular susceptible to this because another thing that's true about zero to five, Yes, it's very important, it's also really hard, Like zero to five are probably in some ways certainly the most physically demanding years of being a parent.

And so Jordan Peterson telling me, well, did you enjoy every single minute of it?

No, I didn't, and that's okay.

I think it's unrealistic to expect that, and I just wish we could focus instead on first I mean first.

They are also really cool.

The first time your kid takes a step, the first day of school, the first time they read a book by themselves, Like that makes me feel positive about the future rather than regretful about the past.

It is about identity loss.

Those zero to five years, you get to be someone's whole world, and that is very special.

When you lose that, there is a weird grief around that.

And maybe that's why it feels so linked to the nostalgia.

You have to be younger yourself, Like it is that thing of I'm not that person anymore and I can't get that back.

And it's the same with little kids.

There's also a lot of really good last times, the last time they wet the bed, the last time they do a shit.

Yeah, all right.

It is time for the good stuff.

This is recommendations where we bring you our little life upgrades that we can't shut up about.

Shall I begin, Yes, go, you shall go.

I have a hack that's going to cost you less than five bucks.

It's going to elevate your kid's Christmas presents by about two hundred percent.

This is my secret.

For a long time.

I have wanted a cricket machine.

Do you know what these are?

No?

Yeah, your best friend has one and it's her entire personality.

Is it like practicing batting?

It's the craft equivalent of a thermomix amelia.

So you know how Thermo mix people are very into Thermo mixes and they're very sick cult A cricket machine is that for craft?

They are basically a fancy vinyl label maker.

I wanted to be the mum who makes personalized labels for everything.

I do not have time for that shit.

So now I just outsource it and I take the credit.

Here's how I do it.

I go to Etsy, I type in custom name sticker.

You will be amazed at the mums who are running side hustles doing this, and you just order some personalized name stickers they get posted to you.

You haven't spent a cent on a new hobby that will last about two hours in your house.

You've taken the cheat's way out.

Now you get your vinyl stickers and you put them on your kid's drink bottles, their lunch boxes, their iPads and you look like a mum with her life together, and your kids froth it having their name on their stuff, like in a way that's not just a sharpie scrawled on it.

His elite level.

If you're putting lunchboxes and drink bottles in Santa Sax this year, go ahead, get on Etsy, get your little stickers and elevate the shit out of it.

That's brilliant because kids just love things of their name on them.

Yeah.

Kids are so narcissistic, aren't they.

They just want their name on everything.

My friend made my daughter a little denim jacket with Elsa and then her name on the top, like on the back, on just a little like hand me down jacket.

Best thing she's ever got.

I think so good.

A hangover from when I was a kid and they would have like personalized mugs.

There was never a monachue.

I never got anything personally.

So now I'm like, kids, you can have your name on everything.

I'm relieved I don't have to buy something called a cricket machine because I still don't really know what that is, but this sounds great.

Well.

My recommendation this week is adjacent to my fartwalk, and it's a way to squeeze more fiber into your day.

It's a rebranding of vegetables.

It's called the crunch plate.

So before every meal, I chop up some fruit or vegetables, fruit at breakfast, vegetables at dinner, and because they're so hungry and it's called a crunch plate, they seem to eat it.

And then I don't need to worry about the vegetables at dinner itself, because I've never been one of those pure beets into your brownies type mums.

I need some examples of what you're putting on it, because all we have here is like carrots and cucumb But I'm so bored on it.

What are you putting on it?

Well, I mean, the best unusual vegetable I've put on it is a snowpea.

I fancy, but I'm pretty sure.

Megan Sussex has suggested doing a similar thing, but with hummus.

I actually don't bother with the dips.

I'm not that sophisticated.

It typically is three.

That's my secret recipe here, three different types of vegetables at dinner, three different types of fruit at breakfast.

So good.

We call it a picky plate in our house, same thing, but I like crunch Plate.

I might rebrand it.

Spending your life just chopping there.

Just buy them chopped.

Either way, it's still gonna work.

La la money bags.

What have you got?

Okay?

So I'm currently trying to get out of my Shillac manicure pyramid scheme that I luw myself in, like I am.

I got a Shillac manicure randomly about two years ago, and now.

I have been trapped.

It's like a pyramid skime it is.

I've had to go back, and this week I've literally have to get myself out of it out of necessity because I physically couldn't go back.

I didn't have time to go back.

I've picked it all off.

So now I'm painting my nails again like I used to, and they just look disgusting.

But I've rediscovered this thing I had used before, which is the Sally Hanson Instant nail polish remover pot.

So it's this little pot with a lead.

I think it's pink.

When you're like me and you've picked half the polish off after half a day and you need to redo them, you literally just stick your finger in this little pot, twist it around.

And there's like a sponge in there.

Take your finger out and it's gone.

It is gone.

It's also good if you kids, like my daughter likes me to paint her nails too, But then it goes like really gross to stick.

Their finger in there.

They twisted around and the nail polish is gone, and they're like five or six bucks cash for your finger.

Yeah, it is, it is.

They're so so handy.

It's lovely fun about that idea.

It is better than doing like you know, when you've got the bottle and you knock it over and you've got the tissue.

That's gross.

So these are these are better get washing?

Oh my god, are you early, Amelia.

No, I'm not a nail polish girl.

I choose to believe it makes me look French.

It probably looks unpolished.

Yeah, I mean, you've got lovely nails better than mine, So who am I to.

Tell you you do your feet.

I'm actually trying to wean off that because I actually think it's a little bit of a patriarchal conspiracy that we have to keep maintaining polish on our feet.

She like or not, but I haven't quite got there yet.

It does feel a little bit risky, but check in with me in the new year.

That might be one of my resolutions.

I love that our tips this week were like, chop up vegetables.

Remove nail, don't do you.

This is the life of a parent's children.

Have you heard of this thing called vegetables that you put on a plate?

This is the absolute goodness we bring you.

Well.

We have analyzed the Wiggles, We've analyzed the Danish royal family.

We've brought you the Instagram trends and the social media band.

We're just making sense of it all, aren't we.

Today.

You are very welcome.

I know what you're thinking.

You're probably thinking, like, what do I get these girls for Christmas?

Stacey, Amelia?

They bring me so much value.

Every week.

I'll tell you can leave us a review in Apple.

Now here's your parameters.

We want you to leave a gentle parenting review.

They make us laugh so much.

We share them around the office.

We are obsessed with them.

Reviews that praise the effort, not the outcome.

So some of our favorites are from Amy Lee.

She says, Wow, I can see how much time and love you have put into your colorful purple and yellow branding and Alice, I can tell how much work you put into this show.

And then my very favorite was I'm proud of you all for trying your best.

Oh that's sazing.

Now I know how kids feel when I say that to them.

Imagine people happening upon these reviews when they've never listened.

To the show.

What are these girls doing?

I know it's very funny.

You're very funny.

We appreciate you.

Thank you so much, and thank you to the team that makes this show happen.

Tessakotovic, who finds the audio grabs and is all over the socials.

Leopaul just who makes us sound pretty sweet.

Sashotanic who is the EP, and the group EP is Ruth Vine and we call her mom.

Have a great week.

We'll be back in this feed next Saturday morning.

Bye bye, Mamma.

Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of the land on which we have recorded this podcast.