I would like to acknowledge the traditional owners of the land on which this episode is being recorded, the Combomb Merry people.

They've been having conversations and telling stories on this land for thousands of years, and we show our gratitude and respect for their contribution to our environment and culture.

This is Rise and Conquer, the podcast where we strive to become the highest version of ourselves through curious conversations, healthy mindsets, laughter, connection, and a deep desire to evolve.

I'm your host, Georgie Stevenson.

Join me as we explore parenthood, business, manifestation, and so much more.

It's positive, it's practical, and it's about putting you in the driver's seat of your own life.

Are you ready?

Welcome back to Seize seven of the Rise and Conker Podcast.

Today's guest is.

The incredible Riley May.

She is a female led sales coach, multiple six figure business owner, and the founder of the Women That Sell Academy.

Riley has completely redefined what it means to sell as a woman, generating millions in organic cells while staying deeply rooted in authenticity, magnetism, and feminine energy.

If the word sales makes you feel a little bit cringe or feel like you have to become someone else to succeed.

You are going to be obsessed with this conversation.

It's really going to change everything.

And Riley is sharing how to reframe selling so it feels aligned, easy and genuinely you.

In this episode, we dive into the difference between attraction and chasing, how to shift your energy when sales are feeling hard in your business, why people don't buy the offer they buy Your energy and the mindset, the strategy that allows women to raise their prices, scale their business and still feel spacious and free.

So if you're ready to show up, sell with confidence and receive what you're truly worth, this episode is for you.

I absolutely loved this chat with Riley, and also after the podcast, Riley was kind enough to give me and the Rise and Conquer access to her course Women That Sell, her High Impact Academy for women ready to simplify their sales strategy, clarify their messaging, and scale their business with integrity.

Inside you get access to Riley's complete suite of signature programs including Attraction Sales, The I and the Offers that Cell, plus she does do monthly live calls, content audits and strategic support designed to create real momentum, no fluff, just frameworks, clarity and sales that feel good.

I loved having a look in here and doing some of the content, and the girls did too.

I just I've known Riley for a very long time and I love the way that she does business.

She's really redefining it as being a female and what she has created in such a short amount of time with such ease and flow is honestly incredible.

And she has been kind enough to give us a discount code, So if you listen to this episode and you want to join her academy, we do have an rn C code which is a georgey ten user out checkout for ten percent off and guys, honestly, you're going to love this episode.

Let's get into it.

Riley, welcome to the Rise and Conker Podcast.

Thanks for having me.

I'm so happy to be here.

I'm so excited to have you here.

We have been friends for a very long time and you know, done a lot, not done a lot together, but like seeing each other a lot being in the industry.

So it's so good to finally get on the get you on the podcast because I am obsessed with your brain.

I'm obsessed with how you show up on social media and just to see your transformation, like you literally used to be an influencer for naked artists and now you're this high level business coach.

And I have watched the whole thing over like eight years or whatever it's been, and it's been so incredible.

And to see your integrity, to see you constantly go after what you want and be unapologetic about it, it's just, Yeah, it's been very inspirational and very like I can tell you've done the work.

A lot of work has been done.

I appreciate that wrap up.

Yeah, it's been cool.

It's been a very long journey and sometimes it's weird, and I'm sure you're the same.

You reflect back on those sort of starting years and how much at the time you can just reflect on I had no idea what was to come.

No, I had no idea what was going to happen beyond the point of just starting.

And it is crazy to think back to being in that first apartment that I was in creating content for Naked Harvest, like pet just such a different era of my life and now being where I'm at, I'm like, oh, she just had no idea.

I know, it's incredible, but and like we need we need that progress and progression, we need that evolution to like find out who we are, to discover who we want to be.

And I think not a lot of people like they do talk about it, but like talk about that enough and give that enough credit.

So that's my intro.

But do you want to kind of describe in your own words who you are and what you do?

Oh?

Okay, So I'm Riley.

Thanks for having me, and I essentially now focus solely on teaching women in the service based industry how to scale their business following a very feminine led approach to business and particularly sales.

So I am huge on mindset.

I've spent years in the mindset space and that for sure is like my first love, my first passion, and I think that will always be just massively infused in anything that I do for the rest of my life, because I really do believe it's just the foundation for getting what you want, building a life that is a reflection of everything that you deserve, everything that you desire, and as women, it is just so underrated in terms of leveraging that to create a life that is everything you want.

So that's sort of the foundation of what I do.

And yeah, I just love sales psychology, I love understanding humans, I love creating, I love personal brand, I love marketing, I love I think.

We live in such a cool time now where it's literally I thinker tips to create whatever we want and helping women create impact and make a difference to other women in whatever capacity they do is just Yeah, it's so cool.

And to wake up every day and think, well, I'm creating an impact, but I'm helping women create even more of an impact.

It's just a really cool kind of full circle moment of where I started.

Yeah, almost this like chain event of like you help this woman and then she helps other women and you have this like beautiful throw on effect.

So let's actually go back a little bit because even like I said, you know, you were more in the fitness industry.

You were a pet and then it was mindset and then it was business.

Take me back more to the transition from like pt to going into like a mindset coach, because you know, I know from myself when you are stuck and you're like quite rooted in an identity of like, well this is who I am and this is what people know me as, and this is like feel safe and this.

Box feels really good.

What's the kind of process you know, maybe what you actually did and like maybe what you know now of that transition and even like talking because I guarantee there's people listening in that transition and they're like, it feels funky, it feels.

Weird, yeah, and it is.

I think something in hindsight now I can look back at is just really understanding ego and concept of self and what you're attempting to preserve at every single stage in your life.

You know, we just had a conversation of air around relationships and preserving a concept of self there where in life and as you grow and involve And I guess not everyone will come to learn this, but you really do have to question and ask yourself, who do I think I have to be and what am I committed to preserving right now?

And how is that identity stopping me from actually honoring what I want?

So I remember at the time COVID sort of interjected that period of being in the fitness industry for me, where I was in it for a couple of years during high school and then I was full time in my own PTE business for twelve months covid hit.

At that stage, I just loved the business side of things, like I loved what I did, but I was so interested in I could scale, I could get a coach, I could probably make something out of this, because at the time, I just wanted to earn money really and I was and I was like, okay, this is cool, like I've scaled my PTE business, but what sort of being on that point, so moved online.

Was charging like ten dollars a week during covid like running Facebook lives.

Doing it was so funny, and my quarters I was like through the roof because I was just doing hit like all weak.

On I forgot.

I did the same thing with them were free.

Yeah yeah yeah.

I was like, yeah, you're like.

Oh live, How's I'm like, fuck, I've had a ride.

That was my form, Like nine dollars ninety nine a week, just no good, you're smart.

Someone had to do it.

But that was sort of my pivot into that, and then that pushed me online.

And then very quickly I realized with my clients that you know, we were just focusing so much on the mindset side of things when it came to either their eating habits body just morephi our body image, their health and fitness journey.

I think any girl listening, I'm sure for you listening, you know, it runs so much deeper than I want to lose weight or I want to build my dream physic or I'm want to be a healthier It's never about that.

And I loved that side of things, and it was something that I felt very on purpose with.

I was creating huge change in and as a byproduct of sort of focusing more on the mindset side of things, I noticed from a physical perspective and more of an external lens, the transformation so many girls were creating, and I was like, oh, I love this.

So that kind of prompted the change to move into mindset.

But I do remember at the time having just a lot of resistance and stories around like can I do this?

Can I actually stop being the fitness girl and move into more of the mindset side of things?

Can I stop being you know, just let go of the identity around what it means to be Riley And my handle at time Instagram is like Riley fit Pete, Like I was the fitness girl to just being Riley and what did that pivot look like?

So in hindsight, now I'm so happy that I just trusted myself through all of those transitions.

And I would say, by nature, I'm not someone that places a lot of limitation on myself, Like I really do believe I can get what I want.

And as a byproduct, I think I do.

Yeah, because it's like you're like, that is my identity, that is my belief.

So it happens.

Well, I heard something really interesting the other day, and I'm curious about your perspective on this because they were talking about how I think of father's like work ethic, self esteem or what your dad sort of I guess just the encouragement he places on you will really determine your self worth and drive as a girl in particular, and I always thought about, like what was it like growing up for me?

And I'm like Dad would always say to me, like, you're addiction and you get what you want in true always, so he's like, you just you get what you want.

You always get what you want.

Now, my dad is not by any means like like an egotistical guy or another guy, Like he's very very chill.

You would think nothing of him, but he's like urdics and you get everything you want.

And my sister and I always reflect on that now and it's like Dad instilled so much belief in us that we could have and be and do anything that we wanted.

And I think now in hindsight, I'm like, oh, that's really impacted me in the way where I really do believe, maybe to a fault sometimes that anything I want will be mine.

I love that.

If I kind of reflect on my dad, it was more the story of like, if you work hard, you can get anything you want.

Like I came from nothing, I built this.

Look how I work.

You know, you can persevere.

You you know, as long as you have discipline and drive, you can do anything you want.

So that's so true.

Like that's giving similar vibes.

Yeah, And it instills this belief in you where I've never reflect don't until I'm thinking, like why do I think this way?

And why do I have sometimes such delusional self belief that it will work.

But I'm like, I never had limitation really placed on me in that way where it wasn't possible or I couldn't do it.

So whether I can or I can't, I just believe I can.

Yes, I know.

And that's like that's the crux of it.

Whether you believe it or you don't, is like that is what is going to play out.

Yeah, the world is just like you know, reflecting to us our beliefs and our inner stuff.

And so it's like, if your reality is playing out something that you don't want, it's because internally, maybe even subconscious, that's what you believe.

Yeah, and something that I don't think spoken about enough because it's so frustrating and I hear anyone that's like, yeah, but give me the step by step, give me the how.

How do I build the business?

How do I do the thing?

How do I get my dream relationship, friendship, whatever?

You have to come back into who you need to be in order to achieve that thing.

Because so if you focus on embodiment and you focus on, Okay, who do I have to become to build a seven figure business?

Who do I have to become to create my dream relationship?

Who do I have to become to get my dream role in corporate whatever the thing may be.

Focusing on the how is like always outsourcing your power because you're always placing it external of yourself but how but how?

But how?

But how?

If you ask who would I need to be?

You will automatically embody the habits of traits, the characteristics or routines of the person who has a thing, and in turn you'll probably find out how and you'll get it.

Well.

It's even like I did a whole rant on TikTok the other day and I said, you know, with the manifestation is not this thing where you want something and it magically appears like, well, not the manifestation I teach or I have, you know, witness, But it's like, manifestation for me is the process of becoming.

It's not the process of how do I get the white Porsche my can?

It's who is the person who has the white Porschemakin.

It's not about manifesting a car.

It's about becoming the person who has that type of car.

And it actually doesn't matter what you think because it's always going to just be whatever you think it needs to be.

And that's where a lot of people get stuck because they're like, oh, it's too hard because that person they have to sacrifice this or this and that and whatnot.

But I'm like, no, you actually get to decide who that person is who has that thing.

You just have to be really clear and you have to understand that it's not you now and then like the jump from you now to the next level you and understand there does need to be a change if you want to change your reality.

Well, there's always a trade off and there's always sacrifice.

It's like you can have everything, but not everything at once.

And that's not to place limitation on what's possible for you, but no, you probably don't get to go out every single weekend and build a business.

You probably don't get to eat fast food whilst building your dream body.

You probably don't get to entertain toxic relationships while trying to find your dream one.

Like that is the trade off, and that is the sacrifice, and it's the reality of it.

Time collapsing and dissolving.

Time in terms of Okay, I've got this goal and I'm currently this person is just becoming and it almost feels like a life hack, and it almost feels like it's too easy because it's like, oh, if I just did the things that I knew would get me close to that goal, I'm probably going to get close to that goal.

But as humans we we love easy, we love being.

We're always going to look for the laziest path and that's not a bad thing.

Survival, yeah, but find the laziest path towards the goal, yes, not short term comfort.

Yeah.

And that's the thing is there will act.

There will always have to be sacrifices.

It's just maybe not the sacrifices you think, which is they can interesting.

And that's even why I love having like expanders of like people who have maybe achieved something, you know how like maybe it's like someone who has what's a good example, or like gained five hundred followers in like a short amount of time, but then you like look at their content and they're posting three times a day and they're like fully embodied in their next level self and it's like the evidence is all there, and yes, it was like a short amount of time, so it's like telling my brain maybe it doesn't have to be that long, or like you know, those sorts of things.

And I find that really helps of like getting those people who've like done the thing easier but who has still done.

The thing, That is very helpful and catching yourself where you go to make things unnecessarily hard because you think hustling and grinding and so many and I know that you've spoken about this so much, and we've spoken about it separately.

So many women are married to being the hard worker.

It's just like a badge of honor.

That was my story.

Yeah, I work so hard.

I'm always tired.

I'm just so busy.

But where are you creating that?

Because you feel like success is wrapped up and how hard you work and not how little you actually do.

We can work really, really smart and not that hard.

I have no issue saying I'm not a very hard work I'm really not.

You know what I think about it.

I'm like, well, define hard work, because of course it's define hard work.

But am I like digging trenches for twelve hours?

Like, no, I'm not.

Did I get my head on day?

Yeah?

Yeah, totally right like you yeah about really hard work.

And it's like, no, I don't work that hard.

But I don't even want to teach hard work.

I don't even want to encourage hard work because we're women.

No what I'm supposed to.

I don't know about you, but I don't want to work hard.

Well, it's funny because I had to really work through that whole hard working thing I got from my dad and me and Coopy even say, now we probably work the least amount of time, probably maybe not effort, but like because there's obviously an energy situation, but it's like the least amount of time we ever have and never earned so much.

So it's like, let that kind of give me evidence that it's not actually about the working hard and even like something is very interesting, is I love how you talk about like being more in your feminine and realizing you can do it the masculine way.

Like we have both done it the masculine way with strategy and like the hard work and the effort, and we have got the result.

But also we've both done it the feminine way, and it's like very easy.

It feels very like, for example, today I have like three back to back podcasts.

I have meetings with Aleisha.

But it's like in the grand scheme of things, I'm going to finish at four pm, go see my daughter, dinner's going to be cooked.

I'm going to go to my big buck off house.

Do you relax?

And I'm literally sitting here talking to you, yapping away, and this is my job for the day.

This is what I mean yeah, like do you know what I mean?

Like like, do.

You see what I do?

You get it?

Do you get it?

No?

But this is exactly this isn't not that hard.

No, it's not that hard.

It's not that deep, but it's it's It's such a funny conversation for me because I think we're in this era of it's so interesting.

We're in this era of like the Girl Boss and the Hustle, but it's kind of dying and women are coming back into ill can I actually just chill?

I feel like the Girl Boss is definitely like I.

Actually fucking had having a job.

And this is one thing I always think about, do I want a job?

No?

And I don't say this, and I want to be careful in what I'm saying, because anyone that has a job who's listening is like, well, I have a job, so thanks Riley.

It's like, no, no, no, that's not what I'm saying.

But no girl in their core is like I love having a job.

I love working hard, I love grinding, I love hustling.

Like I feel so good in that.

And of course there's elements of that where you can be like, no, I really love my work and I'm passionate, and of course I love my work.

I'm so passionate about my work, but I do not want to work hard.

I want to receive the most amount that I can for his little effort and time possible, because we're women and we're actually made to receive.

And what's not supporting so many women right now, whether you're in corporate, in a job, in a role in business, whatever it may be, when you're trying to mimic the masculine way of doing things, you're met with so much unnecessary resistance.

It's like we are women.

One.

We work on a twenty eight day cycle on average, right, Men work on a twenty four hour cycle.

Yet we try and wake up and live our days like a man lives their days.

We try and structure our weeks like a man would structure his weeks.

It's not the way we work.

So we have to blow up the idea of what that looks like and go, Okay, if I'm a woman, which I am, how can I leverage being a woman?

How can I leverage that in my favor?

Because if we worked with our cycle and not against it, it'd be insane what we achieve in a twenty eight day cycle.

Instead, we're mimicking that masculine way of doing things, and we get to certain weeks where we're met with so much resistance to fresh hard.

We can't think propational, no creativity.

We're blocked, we're frustrated, we're bloated.

We don't want to be on camera, like I know for me and my role, and you're exactly the same.

You're on camera a lot and you're filming yourself a lot.

There are some weeks where I'm hard, No, I do not want to be filmed, don't.

Yeah, it's just not in me.

But the weeks that I'm on could sit down all day and.

Yeah, everyone look at me.

I'm literally in that scene right now.

But you know, it's just it's just something I think that women in general.

It's a conversation that just needs to be had no matter what role you're in, we're not men.

Well.

Also, so for someone who maybe struggles to grasp this because they have been living in a masculine way for so long and like conditioning from their parents, how they were brought up very masculine.

Something that I will add to this is we know, for example, it's not a correct let me try and articulate this.

We know for example that it's like I can do the same you know, job as someone else and get paid ten times as much because of this and that like we know it's not like a direct transactional you do this, you get paid that.

Like, there's a lot more that goes into that.

There's energetics, there's who you are and whatnot.

And so I think a way to kind of explain being in your feminine is even though maybe you're not working as many days, the days you do work, you're so intentional with your energy that it's like you are maybe receiving tenfold on those days that it like makes up for the other days.

Definitely does that kind of makes sense.

I felt like like we we got there to a vinal podcast, especially when you happen all day.

No, but that's it.

And I think women are made to receive.

And it's like, if we take the analogy of you know, a glass of water, the glass is the masculine.

It's the structure, it's the stability, it's the support.

We need to have that to create safety for the feminine, which is the water, and without the masculine, the water is everywhere it's got no container to hold you know, the actual feminine, which we need.

It's like a relationship.

We need the masculine to create safety for the feminine, which is a very erratic energy.

It's very it's flowy like we're all over the place.

It's fluid, like we're all over the place.

And that's perfect.

We're creative and we're intuitive, so we can have such big impact.

It's nonstructure.

Yeah, but we need the masculine.

So it's like in business, Yes, we've got the automation and the systems and the structure and frameworks to create safety for us to be able to come in and have a conversation without any structure.

Because if we sat here now and was like, okay, the conversations going this, this, this, this, this this, that's so masculine.

Yeah, like we just feel so clunky.

Yeah, I just put my phone away.

Yeah, like your hash there and then you're like whatever, because we're just going to we're gonna yap anyway.

So I think it's just a really interesting conversation even for anyone to consider, you know, even in an office environment, right, Like sometimes as a woman you want to work from the soft office, like you want to be on the couch or you want to be in bed, and you can be ten x productive working from a couch, then you can an office desk.

Because it's that time of the month.

I'm bloated, my pants are digging in, my back's freaking saw, kind of got a headache.

But if you put me in a dark run a couch, I'll probably get shit done.

And that's understanding that, yeah.

And letting that be okay, Like your hard work can be working from the soft office, and that's an all right thing to do.

But we make ourselves so wrong.

So many clients I speak to with it, like I just feel so lazy this week, and I'm not doing anything this week, and I just can't focus this week.

And it's something that I just see so many women battling with behind the scenes, especially female entrepreneurs, who feel like they've got to be so on all the time.

We are just not made that way.

No, and it's okay to be completely off sometimes.

And the most productive thing you can do is go for a walk, have a massage, and watch Gossip Girl.

And I actually guarantee you receive money in that time warranted you've done the things that you need to do when you're on because it's still execution, right.

The feminine's not sit back and do nothing and just hope it comes in.

It's like, no, we execute and we do the things we say we're going to do.

But then we sit back and we let it, we let it cook.

Yeah, yeah, receive.

And so let's go into like you said, you've definitely done business in a masculine way.

What's the kind of difference and how do you do things in a feminine way in your business currently?

Well?

As women.

I think something that's always important to remember is we're not meant to pursue.

We're not meant to persuade, We're not meant to convince.

We're not meant to chase.

We're not meant to beg We're not meant to no desperate energy, no desperate energy.

We're actually made to sit back and receive.

As silly as that sounds.

So in business, the way that I approach that, especially in sales, is coming in with that energy of I will execute and get things moving and happening to generate that result.

But no, I'm not going to convince you to buy.

No I'm not going to chase new leads.

No, I'm not going to persuade or convince you as to why I'm a good person to buy from or you should buy from me.

So we think about it from a marketing lens.

Men are really driven by like fake urgency, exaggerated authority, or competition.

Like we know men are driven by that.

So if you're like I do a million dollar a month, no, men love that.

Or if it's you only have seventy two hours to get in at this price point, men love that.

We're not driven by that.

Women are innately emotional beings and we're very intuitive.

We can see through bullshit so clearly and so quickly.

So if you're a woman selling a service to women or selling anything to women, it doesn't land and it doesn't work because we just call bullshit the minute we see it.

We want to trust you, we want to connect with you, we want to know you, we want to really like you.

And women value things like style and ascetic and connection and shared values and invitation.

So when I think about selling in business, for me, if I go I've got to sell today, No, I have to extend an invitation today.

Do you want to join me in getting the transformation that you're probably seeking a solution in amazing the invites here, But it's like any in if you're having a party and you put out you don't think about your email list.

You've got I don't know, ten thousand people in your email list.

You send out ten thousand invitations, you know that some people will say yes, some people will say no, and some people will say maybe.

Either way, you're going to be at the party.

So it's up to them whether or not they come.

Am I going to follow up and chase and push and convince you to come?

No, I'm not because I'm a woman of a maid to receive, and there is nothing more repelling as a woman than someone pursuing you.

So true went to a woman.

Well, for example, if you send out an invite to the party and someone's like are you coming?

And you're like, oh no, I can't make it because it's so and so's birthday, And they're like, but why can't you come?

After?

I please you, I'm gonna have the best cake there ever, You're like, oh my god.

Yeah, you're like, way stop, I's obsessed with me such an eg So yeah, that makes complete sense, And.

I think what can then happen with a lot of women is they feel then out of control.

But if I'm not chasing what people supposed to come to me, and if I'm not always pursuing new leads or new people or new clients or whatever, what am I supposed to do?

Like?

How am I going to receive clients?

But this is whereas when we have to think about our natural magnetism and what makes us so magnetic by nature.

If you think about it in the dating world and not just talk to like the polarity between you know, masculine and feminine energy.

It is so much more attractive to a masculine energy when the feminine is secure, when she's grounded, when she's focused on her and she's just doing her thing.

Like the masculine is way more likely to pursue you when you're lent out than when you're leaning in.

So if you think about it from even an attachment style, if in a sales conversation, marketing conversation, conversion conversation in business, if we think about the two people involved, you, as the seller will call it, are in your feminine because you're receiving in this dynamic, and the buyer is in their masculine because they're accessing logic, they're making a decision.

They're the ones that are like analyzing this person or that person, this product or that product, this event or that event, like whatever the comparison is.

We know, to create safety, we have to stay secure for the masculine to lean in if we're anxiously attached in that process and we're pursuing the masculine like hey, just checking in, Hey just wondering, Hey, just they're out.

Because to maintain polarity, one person has to lean out when the other leans in, and we want that to go in our favor.

So if you're the feminine receiving, you have to lean out to create safety for the masculine to lean in and not the other way around.

And a lot of women will lose sales and you know, fail to kind of close the sale or just struggle with conversion, whether it is like a product based business or service based business because they're too busy convincing, pushing, chasing, then actually creating really high value content, sitting back and being deeply secure in who they are and what they do and letting clients come to knowing they move the needle in their business and.

Knowing they had the solution and knowing that they'll have the transformation when they come to them.

Yeah, and you're so certain than that.

How attractive is certainty like in anyone because when you're certain in yourself and your product, in your service and the transformation in whatever, there's no proving.

Drink it or don't drink it.

I don't care.

I know it's so good.

So it speaks for itself because it exudes like so much confidence when you're certain in something.

When you're uncertain and maybe you say things like I feel like an impostor you probably are being an impostor.

Maybe the product's not where you want it to be, maybe the service isn't up to the level you want it to be.

Maybe you don't feel embodied enough and what it is that you're teaching, and that will impact everything you do from a front facing perspective, whether it is your marketing or your messaging or your content, because when you doubt yourself again, your internal world will always reflect your external So it's a huge part that we miss.

It's like self esteem and business is really important.

I speak about it all the time.

Money loves self esteem.

Sales love self esteem.

Opportunity, love, self esteem.

You know, if I lacked confidence, I wouldn't sit here because why would you want me on your podcast?

You wouldn't.

No, I think that was weird.

That was so.

Strange, right, But it's just little things like that, And that's definitely something in you I'm attracted to.

And because you're embodied, you're confident.

I know you practice what you breach.

Yeah, but if I said yeah, like sales is good, yeah, it's just not attractive.

And I think that's something in business too.

I talk about it a lot, like the halo effect and something that I copped really early in my business.

And I remember it was a bit of a story for me, and I'm sure you've experienced this as well.

Being blonde and six ccessful and young and entrepreneurial is the story around, like you're only successful because you're attractive.

And I remember someone said it to my face, and it was kind of always a story in my head.

And then someone said it to me, you know, I only feel like you built success because you're hot.

It was something like that, and as another girl said it to me in the industry, so I was like, oh, like that's a that's already a story and now it's really a story.

And I remember thinking, Okay, well if that's true, if sex cells, if all of these things contribute to success, fuck it.

Yeah, why don't we leverage it?

You know, make it your superpower.

The halo effect is real.

And this is less to do with physical attraction, way more to do with energy.

Like I say, I say hot or confident or attractive, but I really am talking energy because it's it's a frequency thing.

Right.

When you decide to leverage everything that you are, shoulders back, you sit up, you're confident in what you say, You're well, like you've got articulation in terms of like this is what I think and this is how I think.

That's fell.

Yeah, well that's even.

Like I was talking to someone about like magnetism.

They're like, but what is magnetism?

I'm like, you know those people who it's like they're not necessarily the hottest person, they're not necessarily the most successful or anything, but like they walk into a room and you're attracted to them, like you want to talk to them, you want to see whether they're like who is this person?

And you're like interested.

It's because they're holding themselves and they have a certain like magnetic charismatic energy that usually has nothing to do with looks or even sometimes they're like a bit quirky looking or like, you know, there's just something where you're like, there's something about this person and I'm attracted to it.

And a lot of people think it's just about the physical, it's just about the intellect, but it's like it's so much about how they be and the energy.

So that makes so much sense in regards to being in your feminine being secure knowing that you know you have the solution, you have the testimony, and it's like, I'm not expecting everyone to buy from me.

I'm not expecting everyone to come over here, and I am so secure in myself and what I offer that I'm not worried and that's felt need it.

It's almost that and something else on self esteem.

It's like self esteem is really built through creating self trust, and the fastest way to build self trust is to follow through and execute.

If you want what you say you'll do, just do the thing you say you're going to do.

And it's the micro moments this is me that I have to really really strengthen over the years where it's something as simple as like when I get home, so you go out for dinner, I'm going to have a shower, brush my teeth before I hop into bed and scroll.

But then you get home and you like in your bed and you scroll instead, and in an hour's passing, you're like, fuck, I've gotta brush my teeth.

They're going a power.

Still, you weren't your word.

You lost trust in that moment.

So it's micro moments.

We think it's so much bigger than it is.

It's like, where are you not being your word in the smallest moments, like I'm gonna charge my phone.

I didn't charge my phone, or I'm going to take the rubbish out when I get home, And then you don't take the rubbish out when you get home.

You lose trust every single time you don't do the thing you say you're going to do.

And I heard someone say it once, but it's like, nothing is more damaging to self worth than not doing the thing you say you're going to do, Like it is the fastest way to lose confidence, it's the fastest way to doubt yourself.

It's the fastest way to feel like you're not capable.

When you write a list, and not a list that's not achievable, just a list and you just wake up and you do it.

Just take note of how you feel.

You will be more confident.

You will feel better.

In turn, you act better when you act better.

It's such a flow and effect.

It's like this beautiful web of like if you just do what you say you're going to do, you trust yourself.

When you trust yourself, you respect yourself.

When you respect yourself, you like yourself.

When you like yourself, You're confident when you're you've got self esteem, when you have really high self esteem.

Your internal world is a reflection of owth.

And you want to attract so opportunities, money, success, it all starts to come to you.

But really it just starts with follow through.

Well that's why like achievements feel so good because you've said you're gonna do something, you wanted to achieve this thing, and then you do.

Like that's like and like you said, it doesn't have to be these huge goals, these huge achievements.

You actually can do it in the micro moments and still get the same effect that will have a flow on effect to everything else.

Yeah, like I'm moving at the moment and I said to myself of the night, You're going to pack three boxes with the kitchen before you sleep, Like just three boxes.

And I did it, and I went to bed feeling so accomplished.

And I'm just packing boxes for a move, right, It's not contributing to anything.

But I wake up the next day knowing I've already ahead.

I've done what I said I'm going to do.

Now I have time for my walk.

When I go on my walk, I'm a better person.

When i'm a better person, I show up in a better way.

It's it is in the mind chrome moments, and I think we underestimate that massively, where it's like we need to do this big thing.

It's like focus on the one percent, as cliche as that is, and just watch and witness how differently you start to feel and then in turn show up.

It's the biggest life hack.

I love that so much.

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All right, let's get back into the episode, jumping back to feminine why and like feminine in business, feminine in sales why?

Because something I've noticed, like why do you think women struggle so much to sell?

Like they find it.

That's like saying they're like, oh I feel really eky?

You know, why do you think that's the thing?

I think too, so like men don't know nuh.

I actually have posted on this month where I was like, have you noticed how men will never apologize for selling?

And I'm like, there's something to that.

A man will never apologize for being too much.

One second, I literally remember I was listening to like Jenna Kutcher's podcast and I remember once she like did this whole thing where she's like, I'm not putting ads my podcast for a whole three months just to give you guys like value and content and I don't want you guys to feel like there's just a whole bunch of ads my podcast.

And then you listen to someone like like Stephen Bartlett or something, Yeah, there's just like he's never gonna be like, guys, I'm not doing ads and do you know.

What I mean?

Completely?

Why do we feel like that?

Yeah, it's so annoying.

Isn't annoying annoying?

Because yeah, but we do apologize.

And I think if there's so much to be said for it, I think it comes back to a lot of like good girl conditioning and a lot of women and you might relate listening.

I've definitely been there, and I'm sure you've been there.

It's you know, women can't be selfish, Women can't be greedy, women can't be too much, women can't be obnoxious, women can't be outspoken, women can't have an opinion.

Like it goes into all of this stuff where sales, really you're asking for something, Okay, so that makes you selfish and greedy?

What are you asking for something that's going to result in money?

What does money make you?

It makes you greedy, it makes you this, it makes you that.

So we've got a lot of stories tied up around wealth and success and money and asking for things.

It's definitely been a lot of my work, But ultimately I feel women are mimicking the masculine way of doing things and then wondering why are met with so much resistance.

But if we come into I actually get to sell like a woman, which is a huge part of my brand and what I speak to.

But selling like a woman is selling in a way that women actually respond to.

It's selling in a way that we feel really good to sell.

Like maybe when we're integrating and add in a podcast, it's not plugging in with this script that the company has potentially sent, and it's very you know, like line by line and it feels very clunky.

But the way we could integrate that is sharing a real life experience and connecting over something that is real for us or true for us.

I hear that, and I'm like, yeah, sold, like kind again, I hear you.

So it's a lot in a lot more in the delivery, and I think the perception of it then the story around whether or not we should be selling.

I love that.

And even what you described before about like selling in a feminine way, like you said that and I was like, that feels so easy.

And I feel like a lot of people if they're selling in the feminine way, they're not gonna feel ekey, They're not gonna feel like they can't sell.

They're not gonna feel like they can't show up.

Yeah, and that's even like I remember speaking to one of like my content my previous content creators, and she even said something to me like, oh, but we've done you know, three posts this week about the Abundance Academy, Like are you sure you don't want to do some more personal content, and I was like why, like, yeah, I'm selling my course, but it's like we can do it in like a really iron you sell in a personal way, like and she was kind of saying like, oh, people are gonna get annoyed, and I'm like, well, no, it's like if they don't like their content, they can just simply unfollow me.

But it's like I'm still gonna like show up and like tell people what I've got going on, like this is why I'm on social media, and yeah, of course, but it's like I'm not like for me, it can feel a bit manipulative to be like sale content, personal content, sale content.

Put some content in there of like my child, you know, do you know what I mean?

Like you're just ticking a box and like, oh, I'm up to personal or I'm not up to educational or not.

And like it shouldn't feel like that, because I think that's when it's going to feel like key yeah.

Whereas for me, it's like if I want to do nine posts on like naked Harvests creatine, I will like because it's like if that's what's coming through me, and that's what like feels good because I need to sell in a way that feels good to me.

That's what I'm going to do.

And so it's like very interesting when people in the path has like been like oh, but it feels like hey or whatnot.

I'm like, but why if you're selling your authentic self?

And also I sell in a very like emotional way because I'm an emotional buyer, like and so I very much I love how you touch.

On that because I was like, oh that makes sense.

Yeah, So it is very interesting and it's very much often it's not so much like it's ecky to sell.

It's like our perception and why we think and then navigating it like.

Backwards through that.

And I think a lot comes down to money beliefs that we hold, especially as women.

I think it's still interesting to have the conversation around like it is new for women to be making money still like we are at the we are at the beginning of it.

To an extent, yes, it's not it's not that long ago that this was nowhere near the norm.

So for women to be making not only money, but a lot of money in a way that doesn't require us to actually work that quote unquote hard, it's a really jarring concept because we were raised by a generation where it wasn't normal.

Well that's even like this is going off for a tangent.

I find it.

We love it so interesting how triggered, especially men get by, for example, an influencer earning a lot of money through social media, who she's just showing up being herself, posting content, and like, people are so triggered, and I'm like, that's like that actually explains a lot.

It's because it's so jarring to see a woman because usually content creators are women in they're feminine, doing their thing, being authentically themselves and making bank.

And it's like people find that so triggering because they're like, no, but you've gotta work really hard.

Even like we recently bought a new house and the comments section on TikTok was wild where people were like, oh, well, she's just an influencer, that's why she can afford it.

It's like babes, I literally like multiple businesses.

If you even watch my social media, yeah, like you see the determination and drive and yeah, like you also see like the fun tiktoks they do, and like the fun content I have on my team and my life is really fun and easy.

But that doesn't mean I'm not deserving of what I earn.

And so I just think it's so funny because I'm like, your perception of me will be the reason where you're not successful.

Well, what makes me so annoyed about hearing that, which of course it's happening, but it makes me so annoyed because this is actually the issue.

Right.

We reward people, I've yeah, I could go on about this but no, but we reward hard work and success, Like if someone has really hustled for a result, we reward the hustle.

It's like, you grinded for that and your story was so insane and X, Y and z, And then when someone does it in a way that it's never easy.

But let's just say now it's like easy and you're actually artist living your best life and there are no issues.

That's when like the tall Poppy syndrome comes in and it's like, you can't have that if you're not working hard.

You can't have that if it hasn't been you know, this really horrible journey to get there, And like you said, from a perception lens, they then create that for themselves and that's the thing that keeps out so many people stuck because I promise you for you listening, it probably could be really, really easy.

But if you're married to it being hard, you're going to create hard systems.

Yeah, just so that can be your story and in turn you might never get there.

Well, this is even just came to my brain.

I'm not sure if we'll leave this in or not a bit controversial, but even like the topic of only fans, people are so mad that a woman can be in the safety of her own home not necessarily participate or be like a porn star.

Bit she can do whatever content she was maybe going to do anyway, or like whatever she wants to do, and make so much money for it, and people like, obviously there is like other sides to it, and we won't get into that, we won't comment on that.

But I even think it's so interesting with that because I'm like, there's always been porn.

There's always been women who show their bodies and you know, do certain acts, and there's always people watching them, buying it.

There's a fucking porn industry.

Likes that's always been a thing, but it's in this new way which makes it easier for specifically female content creators and safer, and people are so mad at it.

Like again, I know there's other issues that come into it when we're not like talking about that, but even that concept, I'm like so interesting from like a mindset perspective.

And we've never lived in a time whether it be only fans, online, business creations, right whatever, Like there's a thousand ways to make money now in many capacities, but we've never lived in a time where it's actually so easy to leverage something that you are naturally incredible at and turn it into income.

And I think anyone right now that isn't doing that or has being negative to say about it, like aka the old men and your TikTok comment section is because they one can't and two never will be able to.

So it's very jarring to see so many young women succeeding because it can never be their reality based on the limitation they placed on themselves, based on their mindset, based on the way they see the world.

So we you know, when our kids one day are in their twenties and thirties, it's a different world, Like this will be the most normal thing in the entire world.

It's just not normal yet.

And I think sometimes we forget that we are we are sort of the first wave of this.

Yeah, we have to walk the path.

Yeah's and there's a lot of projection.

In that, and you gotta hold the projections.

And look, I always go to like, who would I rather be the person commenting on my TikTok or me in the TikTok?

And I'd always rather be b So yeah, you know, you just allow it.

But it is so interesting and you can clearly see someone's comments, someone's judgment, someone's criticism is such a projection of their own limiting beliefs always literally nothing to do with you.

Yeah, and you just, oh, the judgment conversation, I think is so big.

It's like, if there's anything to take from any conversation ever, I just don't let judgment win.

Don't let the fear that you're experiencing like override the life you know you deserve to experience.

It's like, we all have a better beliefs that don't serve us, and we all have fears that hold us back.

But the ones that succeed, the ones that get really good at just having that fear and moving anyway and knowing those beliefs are there.

But then just choosing to create or rewrite those beliefs because they exist.

Like it doesn't matter who you are.

You fear judgment, you fear criticism, you fear being misunderstood, you fear failing, but you just get really good at moving anyway.

Yeah, and that's wanted to discomfort because it is.

Uncomfortable, but then someone's being told what to do.

So for Pear, I'm just gonna keep going literally, you know, like it's just choose your heart, always choose your heart.

Yeah.

So something I want to shift gears and just talk about again like the feminine being feminine your business, because this is something that I have struggled with.

Again, it's very easy for me to be masculine, like I find it very easy.

It's honestly harder for me to be feminine.

But I know when I'm always in my masculine, I do get burnt out.

And I have had so many periods of burnt out like previously, and it's something I'm very conscious of.

And so for you, what do you think is like, how can a female scale her business want that extra output while still being in the feminine and not reaching burnout.

I think there's a big conversation and something to be said around home life and your support outside of business because your business now you're like another conversation I think one in business, there's always going to be a level of masculine that's required to scale, Like there is no denying that.

Like I said before, do you have automation in place?

Do you have systems in place?

Do you have frameworks in place?

An example of this can be do you have sales funnel set up?

Do you have social media scheduled?

Have you about created your podcast episodes for the month ahead?

Do you have team to support you with admin and outsourcing those tasks?

Do you have you know, like automated email sent out when it's the weekend?

Like what are different things that you have set up to support you so you can be in your feminine Like business is moving when you're not.

This is a really big thing from a business perspective.

So it's like you feel really held in your business because it's just like this well oiled machine, whether or not you're actively doing anything that day or not, Like can you sit back in business still moves?

If no, then some masculine needs to be implemented in whatever capacity that looks like and.

Does it look like, yeah, there will always need to be masculine, and it's like figuring that out and doing that first and then understanding that it's not like masculine massular, masumaze mass and messine burnout.

It's masculine feminine.

Masculine feminine.

Is that kind of what you're saying.

Completely because you want to be integrating all of this obviously as business progresses and builds, but in a way that allows you to be in your feminine.

So if I'm outsourcing to team and I hire a team, amazing.

Now I freed up all of my morning admin.

I'm no longer touching payments, I'm no longer touching emails, I'm no longer touching back end.

Incredible, So what can I do in that time?

I can go for a walk, I can answer my clients.

I can create content.

It's having a structure around the thing that you need to do so it moves, you can create and you're supported in both parts.

If I had none of that implemented, how can I be in my feminine?

I have to do things automatically.

I've got to manually send out things.

If I don't sell, I can't sell Like it's all of these different things where it's like, can you sit back and still receive money without actively doing anything that day?

If no, you need automation in place.

Our email is going out, Like for an example, my BM does all my emails, so I'll wake up and now like get an email from myself and I'm like, oh, hi.

Sam, and my first subject line so and what's this?

I'm like, A good one.

Yeah, It's like a lot of it's my copy from either things that I've written or done on programs, but it's not ever I'm not the one curating the email.

So I'm always like the subject saying how to blah blah blah, and I'm just like, oh what did I say?

And then clicking it, I'm like, oh yeah, I'm an I remember, I know same and I'm not one Georgie.

I look.

But it's like that's the system.

So you might have like all your podcasts batch you like, okay the next six weeks of contents being rolled out.

So if in one of those weeks, so I'm tighten them on the couch, I'm still posting content that day.

Things are still selling that day, Everything's still moving that day, even though I'm not moving, and that's a feminine lad business.

What's very masculine is like I create and posts that day.

I do everything this day.

I have to write the email today.

So, for example, if you're absolutely not, for example, if you're launching, so is it called sales academy, your sales academy.

Do you have launches or do you We're watch of one right now, but technically speaking, yeah, it is always open.

Okay.

So let's say you're in a launch for sales academy.

Are you, for example, three weeks ay, three weeks out?

Wow, sorry, been a long day.

Are you, for example, three weeks out batching?

Okay, today I'm going to do six Instagram posts.

Today, I'm going to do blah blah blah.

Are you kind of doing that for a launch or like what does that look like?

Give some tangible so yes, in short, yeah, like we'll always have a plan months out.

Typically I would say two months out from anything moving or happening.

Not too far because you never know how you feel.

Oh my god, no, I'm out a week.

I'm the worst of that.

Like Jamie will ask me, she's asking me about like my maternity leave, which is in August, and I was like, ask me in a month, just I can't I kind even go there.

I know, I'm not.

Yeah, even two weeks aheads, like even what's for dinner is huge.

I'm like, I don't know what I feel like in it out wait wait, but yeah, always a plan in place.

So it's like we've got notion and things in place where we will map out literally copy for everything, the email funnels, marketing side of things, modules and everything's done down to email templates are done, so come launch, it's all just set up and ready to essentially roll out.

I'm not doing it in real time, but I will allow space for creation in the moment.

So if I'm like I just want to create for TikTok in the moment, I just crept in the moment.

But that feels really good totally because I but if you don't when it's not going to like saber charge, no, yeah, I'm not relying on it that day, and that's really important, I think.

And just circling back to the home life part, I feel very lucky and grateful that when I think about my partner, I'm like, I don't I don't cook and clean.

I don't cook.

I don't clean, No, but it's something for me where I'm like, well, if i'm you know, because we are in our masculine quite a lot, there's things that I like to be looked after in that are maybe not traditional, but that does feel good for me.

Like if I don't have to worry about the groceries like, that feels good for me.

If I don't have to think about the washing being done, that feels good for me.

So in ways, I get to receive and I feel like I can turn my brain off.

Like when I'm with him, I don't if I'm going on a walk in the morning, He's like we're going on a walk, I'm like what am I wearing?

Like is it a beach walk?

Is it a path walk?

Is it going to the gym?

After?

You just tell me?

And I personally I know not everyone loves that.

I just love to be told where I'm going, when I'm going, and what I should be wearing.

I love it too, And then I'm like cool, I can just hick to my brain off.

Tim literally like yep, cooks cleans and even like my favorite thing is he just knows where everything is.

Like I'm like, do you know where my apods are He's like, yuh in the third draw blah blah blah, do you.

Know what this is?

And like I probably know, but it's like the feels good.

Oh, someone just like knows where everything is.

And even like he was away in his trip and I'd be.

Like, do you know where this thing is?

Blah blah blah, I need like no, and I'm like, oh, I probably like just needed that, Like yeah, yeah, you're like actually have my head, but I check that.

I had to check that you need.

It's so true, but I think it's just nicer as women.

We again, we're living in a different world, and if you're working and your partner's working, it's it's coming into all how do you want to be supported in other ways?

Because maybe it is just being able to turn your brain off when it comes to what meals you're having that week or life add mean, like, yes.

Tim's very good like cooking, cleaning, life admin.

But even something I realized the other day, we me and Tim just don't talk about business.

Like I will tell him very like top line things, but we're not talking strategy.

We're not talking those sorts of things.

And he honestly never asked me and someone the other day was like, oh, you know, I just like found it so basically saying like their partner, and she found it like she wanted him to ask her questions about business.

And I was reflecting and I was like, yeah, he doesn't really ask me.

But it's like in a way of like I can just come home and I switched my brain off and I'm not thinking about work.

I'm not thinking about a strategy for a launch, you know, creaty or whatever it's like.

And that feels so good to me, and I'm very grateful.

And I think it's like we have set that boundary, we have set that container, and he knows when I come home.

I yeah, I don't want to like obviously, you know.

It's just like healthy separation too, yes, And I think as women too.

I don't know if you find this, but I love getting completely ready for my day and then getting unready for my day because when I'm ready, I'm working, and then the minute my hair's up, jewelry is off.

Yes, and I get into an oversized T shirt.

I'm not working anymore.

I think having that separation, especially if you work from home.

I work from home.

I need to be like i'm working, I'm not working, yes, and I come on a form of like I just want my rings off at night.

I don't know about you when like get my rings off.

Yeah I can't.

I'm like that, even timsake, but you don't whar you're like winning at my I'm not married on this house.

I know.

It's like, yeah, there's certain like ritols and routines round like wash the day off, like I have a shower straight away, those sorts of things.

It's like little cues to create separation and you to be like, Okay, I was in my masculine, now in my feminine.

Yeah, and I'm receiving.

I love that so much, Riley.

I have loved this conversation.

Thank you so much for having me.

Thank you so much.

This is like we've gone in a lot of different directions, but standard all the mess podcasts do that.

Where can people find you work with you learn more about feminine sales?

So I'm over at Instagram, my personal at the Riley May and you can also follow the academy page at Women that Sell And if you want to, I guess like dip your toe in and start this work, you can always DM me the word sell on Instagram and that will send you directly to a master class of mine which dives into all things feminine led sales, particularly if you're a service provider.

It is honestly game changing and it's just the way forward in my opinion.

I'll go watch it.

He DNA, all right, you get out of my dfs.

Thank you so much, my love.

I appreciate that, and of course we will link everything in the show notes.

Amazing.

Thank you, Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the Rise and Conquer podcast.

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