So what causes porn addiction one simple word.

Training.

The porn addict was trained, trained to use pleasure, to escape discomfort, train to lie, train to hide, train to live and shame.

And we're going to get into it today.

I'm Craig Para and for over the past decade, I've been retraining men to create and sustain healthy sexuality.

I'm in Great Lives.

I'm the founder of the Mindful Habit system of training that's literally changed the lives of thousands of men from thirty countries all over the world.

And if you're struggling with sex or porn addiction and you're wondering why do I do what I do?

What caused this?

And if you're a partner, I'm wondering how you got here?

I hope you find this video.

I'm very valuable because I'm going to break down what actually causes porn addiction biologically, psychologically, culturally, and behaviorally.

And I hope to reframe the entire thing for you, because this is not just about sex, porn or masturbation.

At a deeper level, it's about unmet needs, poor coping strategies, low self esteem, shame, secrets, and how boys grow into men without ever learning how to meet their needs proactively.

What do we do We stuff them down so their needs get met reactively the way they were trained.

And when I say training, I'm talking about repeated patterns, condition responses burned into the nervous system.

And just like you train yourself to juggle a soccer ball or to play an instrument, your environment trains your brain, embodying every thought, every reaction is a train condition response.

We are habit machines and that's a perfect place to start with biology.

Fact, men are more susceptible to porn addiction.

First, men are biologically wired for variety, not a bug, but a feature.

Men are more visually stimulated.

They tend to have higher libidos than women.

Now that's not an excuse.

That's looking at the biology, and certainly biology is not destiny.

It's just one piece of the puzzle.

The second piece is environment, and here's where things get real.

As boys, we learn that pleasure was a way to escape pain, that porn, masturbation and orgasm was a release, a reward.

And on top of that, we didn't learn to process emotions.

What do we do We stuff them down and numb them and guess what.

It works really well to numb emotions and to create that puff of validation or significance aka dopamine, porn, masturbation, and sexual fantasy.

We also learned that sex equal significance, at equals conquest, it equals worth, and we saw that in porn.

Porn was like a security blanket.

And so you have this powerful life creating, pleasure creating and connecting force growing in a young boy.

And is it being talked about?

Well, if it is, it's being shamed and demonized.

I learned the Catholic way.

Sex is dirty and disgusting and you save it for someone you love, or it wasn't being talked about at all.

We knew, right men, We knew that we had to keep it secret.

So we hit it and the hiding became part of the experience.

The lying started early, the secret started early, the shit started early, the training started early.

And this is before we even get to mention trauma, physical abuse, emotional abuse, neglect, sexual abuse.

Well, guess what, guys, that impacts us too.

But what do we do?

We stuff it down because shit happens.

So all of these traumas or that word again, training cause porn addiction.

What wires together fires together in the training sticks and to make it even more challenging.

As a result of the training, the conditioning in childhood, and the person's biology, the porn addict often struggles with deeper, underlying, more serious mental health issues like depression, anxiety, obsessive compulsion disorder, I'M, narcissistic tendencies, bipolar disorder add ADHD, and more.

The more severe the addiction, the deeper the wound.

The deeper the wound, the greater the chance that there are more underlying mental health issues that needs to be addressed.

That's one of the biggest failures of traditional porn addiction treatment.

The porn consumes all of the oxygen in the treatment room, and the root causes the training in the retraining, well, those get ignored.

They can't be ignored because this isn't just a sexual issue.

In fact, it is not primarily a sexual issue.

On top of the other factors and contributors that cause porn addiction, Well, what else causes it?

Someone in a high stress job, someone who's not taking care of themselves and getting poor sleep and have a terrible diet, someone with severe marital conflict, and what happens.

Many guys use this conflict as a justification for keeping the sexual secrets, and that obviously has a huge impact on the relationship.

Sometimes there's a partner with a lower sex drive, and so often there's a lack of purpose and someone with no healthy hobbies.

All of these increase the drive to numb, cope, and escape, and these patterns reinforce the training over and over again.

And that's really the good news because just like the porn addict was trained, he can be retrained, retrained to live a life of integrity, strength, courage, and wisdom.

Train to learn from his mistakes, to not react, to have purpose, to prioritize relationships, and what's important, to honor and respect legacy.

And while the causes of porn addiction are complex and the solution can be also complex, but allow me to simplify it for purposes of this video and share with you a truth that has been near and dear to my heart from my lowest of the lows fifteen years ago.

I'll never forget when it finally clicked in my head.

The cure for sex addiction and porn addiction.

It is the aggressive pursuit of a great life It is not avoidance, not shame, not just stop it, just say no.

Admitting your powerless important step, not just talking about your feelings.

It is a retraining of your mind, body, and spirit.

It is a rewiring of your nervous system.

It is a system of self leadership, self control, and healthy sexuality.

And that's what we teach here at the Mindful Habit because that's the only that works.

So if you're living a double life, if you're tired of hiding, remember this.

You weren't broken, you were trained, and now it's time to retrain.

So subscribe like comment, let's blow shame out of the water and build a better conversation.

Tell me in the comments, what's one thing that you were trained to do that no longer serve you.

And if you're at a place in your life where you need to kick recovery into high gear, visit mindfulhabitthelp dot com.

Check out the free training, learn about our different programs, listen to other podcast episodes and YouTube videos.

Welcome to the new sexual revolution, where men are taking back control, where men learn that their sexual energy is powerful.

Say it with me, And with great power comes great responsibility.

And I'm Craig Parron, this is a great privilege an honor to help you wield that power into creating and sustaining a great life.

I am privileged to have you on my journey.

Thank you for watching, and I'll see you in the next video.

Bye.