Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of, uh, I don't think this one has a series name.

I would call it tabletop Tutorial a time or two.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And you are a returning guest.

I don't even know.

I haven't said who you're yet.

Hi, everybody.

Rainey here with you.

Wouldn't believe it.

Another Ginger.

Hey, Dr.

Hey bud.

How you doing?

We're doing, yeah, I'm doing all right, man.

You know, it's the holiday season, so chaos rains, everything is a whirlwind.

But, uh, yeah, dude, I'm stoked that we get to play.

I'm super excited to play this one.

Specifically.

When you pitched the idea to me, I was like, this is right up my alley.

Yeah, dude, this is very much a, if, if a two player game is for two people, I feel like we, we, uh, we could do this one.

Yeah.

Oh yeah, for sure.

And I do wanna call you out a little bit because I jumped on the dms last stream of Deathmatch Island, and they were like, oh, and Troy's coming too.

And I was like, hell yeah, let's go.

And then I think you got, you gotta call or something you have to do, like, you have to like save a life or something.

I had a fucking transfer to Iowa City, which was supposed to be like a three to four hour turnaround time, but the roads were like blizzarding, so it took us six hours.

So I missed the entire stream.

How, how dare you, how dare you do something.

I know, dude, I'm so sorry.

So noble, uh, and miss and miss, a ridiculous game where we basically just threatened people who have belly buttons, and that's the only, the world, that's the only context I'm giving you.

Listen, the world's gonna have to wait One more, one more episode to meet Glock McLaughlin.

We did commit to that name for you, by the way.

Mm-hmm.

Uh, what a name.

Very, very, and everything.

He does everything he does, he does for his sister Sarah.

Yeah.

In the ums.

I don't wanna get a copyright strike.

Uh, but we, we've hinted at the game that we are going to be playing today.

Troy, uh, why don't you tell everybody what, what we're gonna be playing.

Yeah, so the game that we're playing today is a two player game, and it's called the Time We Have.

Oof.

And this game is a story of two brothers.

It takes place in a post-apocalyptic setting.

Think like, uh, the last of us is a good example of one or 28 days later or something to that effect.

Mm-hmm.

And more or less, uh, the game is intended to be played on either side of a closed door with a deck of cards, and one of the brothers has been bitten and is infected and has six days left to live.

The other brother is fine except for the fact that he's watching his brother descend into, into madness and transformation and ultimately death, uh, on the other side of this door.

So I'm super excited to play this.

When I, when you told me about the premise of the game.

Not only did I think, wow, this is a perfect game for us to play, but I also thought what profound therapeutic potential this game has, exploring themes like loss and regret and um, fear and anxiety and all those things.

I just feel like redemption even.

Mm-hmm.

Right?

Like when you're, when you're looking your last moments in the face and you're like, what has my life been and what, what is it going to be?

You know, what comes next kind of thing.

So it's something I'd love to use in a session with a client at some point.

And if I do, I'll keep you posted.

Yeah.

Man.

Clarity, right?

Like, stop lying to yourself 'cause there's no time to do that anymore kind of thing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The designer of this game, Elliot Davis, known as more blueberries on the internet, it'll be linked in the description of the podcast, has made some really, really great games.

It has a really great knack for like.

Hitting some really tender kind of things.

Uh, they have another game called Project Echo, which is a time travel game where you use an actual, like yearly calendar, like one of those notebooks that's like a yearly calendar.

Mm-hmm.

And you roll and like hop around it and try and find out what's going on.

Mm-hmm.

Uh, so they have a really good grasp of novel approaches to playing a game, right?

Like, it's not mm-hmm.

We're playing a, we're playing a tabletop, we're all playing game, but it's not the dice enrolling and adding numbers that you think, you know, like even just cards like this is, you know, a less common mechanic, but adding that layer of, imagine actually playing this game.

Obviously you're in Iowa, I'm in Connecticut, so we cannot plan either side of a closed door, but it's a big door, but I'm, it's quite a big door.

Uh, but imagine actually sitting on either side of a closed door.

Yeah.

And, and like that muffled like, you know, it's not coming through clearly and mm-hmm.

You know, as we'll see some of these cards are read silently passed under the, under the door and stuff like that.

And it's, I mean, it's setting the stage for such an emotional game that I'm very excited to see how this, how this plays out.

I, you know, I even really love the mechanic that they came up with for x cards, for lines and veils Yes.

Is to knock on the door in secession.

Yes.

So, like, one knock means this, two knocks means, you know, you need to fast forward through the scene.

Three knocks means like, we gotta pivot.

I can't do this.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like, what a fucking great mechanic idea.

And we, we will do this virtually at the end, but I do also love that there's a touch at the end of this game, which just says, open the door and hug that person you just played this game with.

Like, because you guys just went through some shit.

Yes.

And I think this is the first time you've been back on since you've gotten your degree and are starting your actual.

Yep.

Your actual journey into becoming Yes.

A psych clinical mental health counselor.

Clinical mental health counselor.

Con dude, congrats.

Yeah, thank you so much.

I literally just got my diploma in the mail today, well, virtually my email.

So super excited for that.

Still waiting on the state to issue me my license number so I can start actually seeing clients that have insurance.

But until then, I'm still, you know, just I'm seeing some clients here and there, but, uh, hopefully by the end of the month I'll be back in full swing.

So, dude, and to think just, uh, I mean, as a reference of time, one, my, I think my first perspective checks interview is with you, and then we did one with Liz Green and RPG therapist, like at the beginning of this podcast.

When this podcast started, it was like you were.

In the beginnings of that journey, you know?

Yeah.

It's so awesome to see it come full circle.

And funny enough, too, uh, Liz Green and I are actually running a panel at Captain Con on, uh, tabletop role playing games in therapy.

Dude, that's awesome.

So that's awesome.

And that's where Yeah.

Met her, right?

You've gotta come.

Yeah.

That's where we met her.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What a wild world.

What a wild world.

I love it.

Yep.

Well, speaking of therapy, we, we may need some by the end of this game, it could also be that cathartic, uh, you know, therapeutic experience we need.

But, uh, this, this might be a little heavy, so why don't we dive in and Yes.

Talk about the rules of the time we have.

So you could play this game with a regular deck of cards, which, you know, you'd separate out by suits.

So in Troy's case, over, over in Iowa, he's got a.

Deck of cards and he's taken the two suits that he'll be using.

I'm getting a little ahead of myself, but we, we split up the deck.

I have the deck that I'll be using.

Why don't we start with, uh, reading these rules aloud because this is something borrowed from for the Queen by Alex Roberts, which is a game that I love for introducing people to ttrp Gs.

But if you can, and this has become something, I've recently in a, in a recent perspective checks episode, I spoke with, uh, somebody about this as well.

The idea of sharing the load, of reading the rules or sharing the rules is really great 'cause like it immediately makes everybody involved.

So I love that there's this system that Elliot designed here where we're gonna read these cards, 1, 2, 3, 4, all the way up to 16.

And then that's when we start the game.

So do you want me to read the first one?

Yes.

Alright.

So the first card of the rules says.

Take turns reading these cards aloud.

Card two says, if you're reading this, then it's already too late.

The world ended, and with that end came an infection that spelled the end of humanity to define the world and apocalypse around you.

Choose one of the door cards at the end of this guide or create your own infection and setting.

Yes.

So there are a bunch of door cards and they're really, really cool.

Uh, they are anything from, like we were talking about earlier, like a 28 days later last of us, like kind of rooted in the real world vibe.

Then there are ones that are like near future cyberpunk.

There's ones that are like World War II era, you know?

Mm-hmm.

Uh, gas mask kind of thing.

There's like Eldridge ones and some, there's some really strange doors that we could use to play this game, but I think that for the purposes of showing people what this game is about, we decided we're gonna go with the og.

Yes.

Okay.

Yep.

So we're playing roughly in the real world, right?

Like, you know, there's no fantastical about it, it's just mm-hmm.

Some strange infection has caused the end.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Alright.

Yeah.

So the next card says you are brothers, one of you has been infected in six days or less, the infected will change.

Answer the following.

Which of you is older?

Which of you has been infected?

Okay.

We had already talked a little bit about this.

Mm-hmm.

Um, and I think for me to be the older brother that is infected, I think is what I would like to do.

That sounds good to me.

Yeah.

Okay.

We, we, we spitballed a little bit of, uh.

Ideas.

So we'll see.

Yeah, Rainey had to bring like real life shit into it and I was like, god damn it.

Sorry man.

Uh, okay.

Fourth card here says, gather a standard deck of playing cards.

Distribute all spades and hearts to the infected brother.

Distribute all clubs and diamonds to the other.

Give each player their corresponding prompt guide.

Make sure each of you reviews the safety guide.

Yes.

In which we discussed a little bit earlier.

Uh, there are safety tools in this game, which are very thematic to this game, which is knock once to signal that a topic or card is making you uncomfortable.

If you'd like to move on or skip it, knock twice to pause completely and remove something that was just mentioned.

Then knock again twice to resume and then knock three times is stop entirely open the door and discuss what went wrong.

Mm-hmm.

So if that ever comes up, we will, we will knock on our desks.

Yep.

Yep.

There we go.

Sounds good.

Alright.

The fifth card says, find a door, which for us is the internet.

Sit on opposite sides with the door closed and read your individual rules cards back and forth in numbered order.

If you do not have access to a door, push two chairs together back to back, or otherwise do not face each other.

Once the door is closed, the game has begun.

If you open the door at any point, the game is over.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, I get to read the next one because now the cards go back and forth between survivor and infected.

So this is a game about brothers.

I am the survivor.

This is a game about brothers.

I am the infected.

In six days I will be gone.

We will now shuffle our prompt cards and put them in a face down deck in front of us.

I will do the same.

With the exception of the Ace of Spades, I will place this card randomly in the bottom half of my pile when I pass this card to you.

The game ends, we will take turns, beginning with the survivor, drawing cards, and responding to the prompts.

Most cards are questions which are asked to the other player.

When you ask a question, I respond.

When I ask a question, you respond.

Some card prompts will say, pass under door at the top.

These will be slid under the door, read silently and responded to by the reader.

Each represents a sound, smell, or other sensation.

When you slide a card under the door, I read it and respond, and vice versa.

When responding to the prompt cards, we can ask follow-up questions and speak in and out of character.

We might establish truths about each other's characters, our relationship and the world around us.

We'll let this conversation flow until a natural pause.

Then draw a new card.

I have a special type of card.

Prompt the infection prompt.

There are five of these within my deck, the nine, 10, jack, queen, and king of spades.

These tell me how my infection is progressing and signal the end of one of the six days.

Mm-hmm.

I will let you know that the day is over and we will silently pause.

Play for 30 seconds.

Yeah.

At any point throughout play, either of us can use the rules and the safety card to pause, adjust, or end play.

If we open the door at any point throughout play, the game is over.

This is WNBY, assuming anyone out there can still hear this.

I have the final public directive from the CFDC.

All citizens are advised.

If you see someone acting aggressive who appears to have floral growth from their mouth, eyes, or skin, do not approach.

They're highly contagious.

And no Nona, no, please.

That's it.

Yep.

With that, we will begin with my first question.

Do we wanna set the scene?

Where do you imagine, I imagine this taking place in in our home.

Mm-hmm.

Like maybe, maybe we share a home.

Perhaps it was even like a our family home.

Yeah.

Maybe in the wake of this whole like apocalypse, we were like, we gotta go see mom and dad.

Yeah.

And we went home to find it empty and abandoned or something.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, I like that.

I like that idea.

So we're in our chi, we're in our childhood home right now.

Okay.

And maybe we, uh, maybe we had rooms adjacent to each other as kids growing up.

So this is the same door that like, you know, when I was being a mean older brother, I'd lock you out and you pound on the door, and when you were being a little fucking shithead, you'd go in my room and lock my door on me or whatever, you know what I mean?

Or dude, we have adjoining, they, our parents put a wall up and we have an adjoining door, like a hotel.

You know what I mean?

Like, yeah.

Dude, that's awesome.

We should do that.

Okay.

Uh, so that we can bring that up as like a memory or something at some point, just so that's cool.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And are we using the names Troy and Rainey?

I'm gonna be Michael actually.

Okay.

That's, yeah.

Let's a little bit of separation from the, from the reel.

Right.

Okay.

I'll be.

I don't know why this is so hard for me, but I want it to mean something.

So like, it's always hard when a GM gets put on the spot to create a name.

A name for like an N or something.

The hardest part.

What's this NBC's name?

Fuck.

Oh God.

How about Jonah?

Okay, I like that.

Jonah.

Yeah.

Barring it from Jess's death Match Island episode.

Just recently, but it's in my head.

So Jonah.

Jonah, okay.

Michael and Jonah.

So Jonah and Michael.

Alright.

Both biblical names.

Yes, of course.

Well I was, you know what is funny?

I was like, my first few thoughts were like, Peter, and then it was like, uh, then I was like, oh man, what about Isau?

And then I was like, man, what about Abraham?

Nah, I can us.

Uh, okay, I love it.

Hey Michael, you there?

Hey man.

Yeah, I'm, I'm there Jonah.

Why did you wait to tell me?

Well.

Part of me didn't know how you'd react.

And then the other part of me thought I could figure this out.

I've been in tight spots before.

Yeah.

I mean, yeah, you're the one who'd figure it out for sure, but like always did.

I didn't wanna burden you with it either, Jonah.

Yeah.

But you don't have to do everything alone.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I guess you're right.

Well, I'm not alone now.

Yeah.

Well, not to be a dick, but like I will be soon and that kind of sucks.

Let's not talk about that, Jonah.

Let's think about something else, man.

Yeah, I think the last time I was on the other side of this door.

You were being a pain in my ass and I had to lock you outta my room.

Do you remember that?

Yeah.

I also remember I thought I could like TV kick it in and I like broke a toe.

Yeah, mom was pissed about that.

Yeah, dude.

Oh man.

It seems like a lifetime ago.

It was.

I I, when was the last, I mean, I don't know.

I, I definitely should have visited more, but it, you know, here we are gets kind of hard when the world goes to shit too.

Yeah.

Let's pretend.

Uh, that's why I wasn't here for a while.

It was the world and you were obviously busy, but I could have been better.

Yeah, I could have been better too, Jonah.

We could have been a lot of things, you know.

Yeah, you should have been a lot of things.

Oh, that's good.

I think this would be a good opportunity for me to flip my card.

Yeah, go ahead.

Okay.

Oh, okay.

So this one I believe I have to slide under the door to you.

Oh, okay.

You right in there, dude.

What's, what's so funny?

No, I just, uh, I'm just thinking, uh, you said I could have been a lot of things, man.

It was just, it was kind of funny to hear that coming outta your mouth and meanwhile on the other side of the door, um, I'm holding my hand as my hand is like severing from my body.

Oof.

Yeah, it just, uh, I What did you mean by that, Jonah?

I could have been a lot of things.

You should, you should have been a lot of things, man.

You, you were older, you worked your ass off.

I coasted in your shadow.

I, you know, I, I had the tailwind and got to just kind of slack my way through on your coattails and you didn't have the opportunity, you know, mom and dad did their best.

But, and, and dude, don't get me wrong, you've done amazing.

But just imagine if you've had the opportunities that just like fell into my lap because they didn't have to worry about you.

Do you know what I mean?

Hmm.

Yeah.

I guess I do.

I.

Sometimes what we make of our situation is more important than the situation we're given.

At least that's something we have control over.

Yeah, no, that's true.

Kinda like right now.

What?

You want me, you want me to soak this in my, should I be not, I mean, it's kinda hard to enjoy this.

I'm not saying enjoy it Jonah.

I'm just saying be present with it.

You said you weren't here, you said you missed out on some stuff.

Well, you're here right now.

Yeah, bro.

I'm not going anywhere, but I just, I imagine on the other side of the door, Michael is, you know, he was laughing, which is why it prompted you to ask him what was up and uh, he was laughing because he was.

Doing that so he wouldn't weep as his hand started like essentially severing off of his arm and was replaced by these beautiful and horrifying, like blooming, fungal, like flowers and shit.

Oh yeah.

All right.

I'm gonna flip my next card.

Sounds good.

You hear like a creaking of like bed springs and then you hear Jonah and I'm like, oh my God, this bed is so uncomfortable.

Oh, have you tried your bed?

Have you, and then you hear me shuffle back over and like sit next to the, the door.

I look over at the bed and uh, my bed is still perfectly made.

From the day that I left.

And I like to think that Michael, when he left, he left very abruptly and he went, he, he shipped off to the military.

Mm.

And uh, and he looks at it, he looks at the door and he looks back at his bed and he says, yeah, man, it's, uh, it's not as comfortable as I remember it when you were growing up in this house and you're sleeping in that bed, doing your best to find out how you were gonna get outta here.

Did you have a dream of yours that you never shared with me?

Uh, well, part of me wished that I could take you with me, that we could see the world together.

Um.

That I didn't have to lose you in order to find myself.

And yet you were always laughing and telling me all good.

For every one of the dumb dreams, I chased everyone, man, I, I would've gone.

I, you know, I couldn't Had you had, you could've, yeah.

Yeah.

Probably would've ended up better for me than all the stupid shit I did do.

Yeah.

I was gonna say, Jonah, I don't know if you would've been cut out for the military life, buddy.

Nah, man.

Can you imagine?

How quickly can they just kick someone first?

A drill sergeant gets in your face?

Uh, is that a gun in your pocket, sir?

How fast would they have kicked me out?

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Oh man.

But honestly, Jonah, it's uh.

It's good bro.

It's good that you didn't have to, I guess, travel the world and see the things that I saw.

Yeah, we should have, we could have gone elsewhere.

I, you know, I saw some weird stuff.

Uh, you probably would've enjoyed a little more.

You Oh yeah.

Like what?

Remember that road trip I went on with my friends?

We were gonna go see that band and then ran outta gas.

'cause none of us thought about, uh, how much money we needed to bring.

We thought, oh my God, I could buy tickets.

I dunno.

That's so you, Jonah?

Yeah.

Running outta gas.

My god, my brother.

Listen.

Not my proudest moment.

All right.

I think I'm gonna flip my next card.

Let it rip.

Okay.

I got the five of hearts.

All right.

So that one you just read aloud, right?

Yeah.

That one I just read aloud.

Yep.

Who do you wish was here?

Hmm.

Well, I think both of us had the same idea when all this hit the fan.

Yeah.

You know, came to check on mom.

I assumed dad would be okay, but yeah, man.

Um, yeah, I was really hoping they'd be here.

I'm trying not to assume the worst here, but them not being here, it's a little weird.

It's like, where else would they go, you know?

I don't think they would've left the house unless they absolutely had to have.

Right.

It's nice to see the garden outside though, as I like look out my window from the room that I'm in.

Hmm.

I see.

Uh.

And somehow in spite of the world going to shit, these fucking white roses back here still keep looming.

Mom used to love those.

I mean, she was outside nonstop clipping.

Yeah.

She took care of those things.

I don't know how I, yeah, I've never had a green thumb, but I don't know how she knew how to like, cut here, graft here, grow, she'd grow.

The craziest things.

And uh, for years I would just walk by and be like, yeah, that's nice, but I'm never gonna look at those the same now.

Yeah.

Puts it into perspective, doesn't it?

Speaking of flowers, man.

Um, what's it look like?

Uh, yeah, I slide this thing under the door towards you.

It is a tiny little mushroom looking thing.

And then after a couple, after probably 10 seconds of silence or so without you saying anything, I'm just gonna say, yeah, man, that came off my cock.

Just flick it.

I just flick it right back, flick it back outta the thing.

I start laughing on the other side of the door because I'm like, nah, it's uh, it's uh, it's not great, man.

I, I, I took all the, the mirrors down.

Ugh.

I'm gonna flip my next card.

Yeah.

Speaking of mom and dad, all I remember man was them mostly letting me have it for dumb decisions, like, you know, running outta gas 300 miles away.

But do you remember, what was that story?

They were always telling, are you talking about the one where we were supposed to go on vacation, but Dad ended up so pissed drunk that we missed the flights and had to spend the entire rest of the, uh, long weekend cooped up at home watching dad detox that story.

Yeah.

Oh gosh.

Yeah.

The two sides of that story.

Right?

Remember, you remember mom trying to drive his truck and he was like half hanging out the open door, and I think you had to like hold his collar.

Yeah.

She was like, do not let him fall out this door.

What a fucking nightmare, man.

It's funny now looking back, you know?

Mm.

But it, we shouldn't have had to go through that man.

We were kids and dad, I'm sorry.

Dad was like, I'm sorry.

Dad always would say.

What I was getting on a plane.

We should have got on that plane.

Like that was an excuse for being so piss drunk.

Yeah, right, right.

I know, right.

God forbid one flies sober.

I'll sleep it off.

Uh, yeah, there you go.

That would've been a good one if you joined the military with me.

You could have been a fighter pilot and told the, told the, told the captain, I thought we were gonna be flying.

That's why I'm drunk.

Yeah, maybe I did inherit that a little bit from dad.

Yeah.

What?

You can't, you can't, are you drinking?

Are you drinking again?

You know, Luca, I'm I, yeah, but it's not a problem.

I'm, I'm pretty good with it actually.

How long's it been?

Well, it was a few years, not a drop.

Then a buddy of mine got married.

Honestly, I didn't expect him to invite me to the wedding, but, uh, I got the invite.

You can't not drink a toast, you know?

Uh, but I was good man.

I was actually, it was weird.

Um, I, I, it didn't, it didn't do it for me anymore.

Um, I mean, don't get me wrong, did I want to keep going?

Yeah.

But I also remembered I probably shouldn't have been at that party in the first place, and they were trusting me not to go that far.

So, yeah.

Well, I trust you brother.

I trust you won't make the same mistakes that dad did.

And when I say that on the other side of the door, there's the sound of a cork, like boop, like unplugging from a bottle.

And I like take a deep breath in and wince.

'cause it burns my lungs when I breathe.

Mm.

And I take a deep, deep pull off of this bottle of whiskey.

Mm.

And set it down.

And I say that shit's nothing but trouble.

I'm gonna draw my next card.

Okay.

And before you ask, I think that Jonah would say something like, you know what?

And I trust you given the circumstances.

Don't leave any for me.

Yeah.

I'll do my best.

Oh shit.

Okay.

This is one that I gotta pass to you under the door.

It's the king of spades.

Okay.

King of spades.

Ooh.

Yeah.

Okay.

Fucking yeah, dude.

Um, so I think you end up kind of, the day is over.

Yep.

So, yep.

So real quick, so that scene ends the day.

So I'm sitting there and I'm, I'm drinking off of this bottle of whiskey mm-hmm.

After finding out that you're not sober anymore.

And, uh, I'm sitting there on the other side of the store and I drink through that bottle and that burning feeling in my lungs and stuff like that.

And all of a sudden my stomach just starts to ache and it aches more and more and more.

Hey bro, are you up?

I kind of knock on the door kind of hurriedly.

Yeah, yeah, man.

What's up?

I am fucking starving over here, bro.

Uh, I'm so hungry.

I'm so hungry.

Can you, can you get something I fucking beef, jerky fruit roll up something that you can slide under the door?

Uh, yeah.

I don't know what mom and dad have, but yeah.

Gimme a minute.

I'll, I'll be right back.

Yeah.

Sounds good.

And I think as you go downstairs and as you're kind of like looking for stuff mm-hmm.

Um, maybe a few minutes go by and you just start hearing pounding on the door.

Pounding, pounding, boom, boom, boom, boom.

Yeah.

Dude, I'm coming up.

Please, bro.

Please.

Yeah, Michael, my, it's Mike.

I'll be right there, man.

Hold on one sec.

I got, it's hard to find flat food and I think, and I think what he comes up with is like four or five flat food objects.

So like, I start like one by one, like pieces of bread and then like a few like, uh, yeah, I think like, you know, may maybe dad had some jerky or something like that.

And like, uh, the individually packaged.

Slices of cheese, you know, uh, you, you're gonna have a real awful snack.

How much room do you think is under this door?

Uh, what's usually there?

Like three quarter of an inch, something like that?

Yeah.

Probably as I like go to like, slide my fingernails like fingers under the door.

Like you see my fingernails have like all peeled off.

Ugh.

And there's just like raw, bloody like rotten stubs.

And I go to like, reach and like grab the, the cheese in the, in the fucking quesadilla shells and shit like that, that you're trying to slide under the door to me.

Uh, yeah.

And I think that, um, you, you might see like my shadow pull away a little bit and just hear like a fuck.

And you just hear me like ripping apart the shit that you gave me.

Like whatever.

It was, just fucking cellophane wrappers just flying everywhere angrily and the fucking quesadilla chips just being torn apart.

And it sounds like, like an animal is fucking mauling food on the other side of the store.

Okay.

Yeah.

I think I'm gonna put my next, Hey, hey, uh, hey Jonah.

Yeah man.

Tha thanks for getting that food, man.

But I'm still really hungry.

Can you, can you just open the door for a minute and I can come grab something please.

Jonah, you know I can't do that, man.

Jonah, come on, you can trust me.

I'm gonna get you some more food.

I think.

Uh, I got an idea.

Just gimme a minute.

I kind of like grip my teeth on the other side of the door and like let out like a heavy exhale.

And that was at the, the end of a day, right?

This was the first card I drew.

Yeah.

It says Let your brother know the day is over.

Okay.

Um, so do we think that was in the morning or do we think that I walk away from you to go get more food and like purposely take a little bit time and don't come back.

Yeah.

Purposely let you kind of like wait till like you pass out or knock yourself out or something, you know?

Yeah.

Yeah.

That sounds good.

I like that.

I like this being the last interaction we have that night.

Yeah.

And then you just don't come back with more food.

Yeah.

Well, by the time you wake up or we, you know, we're, we're back on either side of the door.

Um, I've, I've amassed a little bit of flat food pile Okay.

In case, but, uh.

I'll flip over the card to start the next day.

Sounds good.

All right.

Hey, Michael, you up?

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm up, Jonah.

Ugh, you good today?

And I start sliding some food underneath the, like, what I did is I ended up taking a bunch of things that wouldn't work, and then I like rebag them so they, I could lay them flat and then slide them under.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you for the, thank you for the food.

I'm feeling a lot better today.

Lies.

Of course.

Yeah.

Speak.

Speaking of this door, slamming it and it being closed.

Remember that fight?

We had the one, the big one.

Um, yeah, man, how could I forget when I left?

Yeah, no plan.

No goals.

Just that.

Yeah, man.

Well, I get it.

I know why you wanted to leave.

I mean, right after I left, I wasn't there to watch after you anymore, you know?

Well, and I But you were 15.

Yeah.

I think the biggest part was, you know, I, I dropped out.

I, uh, just bailed.

Um, so I wanna let you know, like, and I, and I know you know, but I want, I want you to hear it before, well, I want you to hear it, that yeah, you were right.

That should have taken it on the chin.

Should have, you know, just powered through it, but.

You are right.

If that's supposed to make me feel better, it doesn't, but I appreciate the sentiment.

Like physically or emotionally?

I'm just saying, I kind of chuckle on the other side of the door when you say that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Both.

I, I guess, uh, this thing, man, uh, God.

Have you thought of any, anything, any ideas?

It's, it's getting, it's getting worse, man.

Yeah.

Uh, of all the things I did pick up and learn and, you know, in my time away from here, fungal infections, not really, among them, not, but like, I don't know, like civil war, amputation shit.

I don't like, I don't, I don't know.

Like, what do you.

I look at my hand laying on the floor.

Yeah.

I'm like, I don't think that will work.

Yeah.

What do you think?

Do you think Nah, nevermind, nevermind.

I don't want to talk about that.

What's that?

I just, I hope mom and dad are okay.

Yeah.

I'm gonna draw my next card.

Mm-hmm.

This is another one that I read silently.

Okay.

So I'm, I'm gonna read it silently and then I'm gonna take 30 seconds.

Okay.

And this is also gonna be the end of another day.

Oof.

I drew the queen of spades.

On the other side of the door, you see me?

And, um, I'm kind of holding, I'm holding up that bottle in front of me and it's empty by now, but I'm holding it in front of me and I'm trying to like, look at it and I keep bringing it closer and further away from my face and stuff like that.

And then you see me and you hear me on the other side of the door.

I'm kind of like scrambling around.

It sounds like I'm crawling around on all fours.

And, uh, like I bump into like a bureau or a bookshelf or something, something falls over and breaks.

There's like kind of a loud movement on the other side of the door.

That's, that's what you hear, Michael, buddy.

Hey bro.

Yeah, yeah.

Everything okay?

The, uh, man, um, I can't see.

I can't see Jonah.

Oh shit, I'm scared.

Uh, okay.

Um, I can, can you find your bed?

Or just come?

Yeah, I think so.

Think or come to my voice?

I think so.

Sit here at the door.

I can pass you stuff underneath.

Fuck man.

I can't see shit.

Okay.

Um, I crawl back over to the door.

Yeah.

Okay.

Um, well, at least you're spared that terrible eighties metal poster on your wall.

You hear silence on the other side?

No.

No.

Okay.

I'm, I'm kidding, man.

I'm sorry.

Um, I don't know.

I don't know what to do.

I, yeah, you're just, yeah.

No, I know.

I'm right here.

Right on the other side of this door.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm here too.

I'm here.

You know, um, Michael was a, he was a fighter pilot in the military, so for him being able to see was, yeah.

Paramount.

Right?

Look at this man.

What a fucking joke.

What a fucking joke.

And I think with that, I pass out on the other side of the door.

Yeah.

Maybe we hear that funk again.

Like the cork.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

Like, yeah.

And on the other side, I think we see Jonah and he, I think Jonah hears that cork pop as you're drinking yourself to sleep again on the other side.

And I think we see him and he's got a bottle that he took from downstairs from your dad's liquor cabinet.

Fuck.

And he like takes a big swig and we see like tears.

Uh, this game is actually difficult to play, actually.

Incredibly hard.

Alright.

Oh man.

I'm tear, I'm tearing up over here.

I'm gonna, I'm gonna flip my next card.

Uh, once again, I guess I'm starting the next day.

I haven't gotten any of my special cards yet.

I want a special card.

This works though.

I think you hear Jonah on the other side of the door and it's like a big stretch and, and maybe you like, hear like a little bit of like movement, like you're trying to like, figure out what it is.

Like maybe, maybe he's just doing like a few pushups.

Maybe he's doing like some standing, like jogging kind of thing, like high knees, um, just like getting limber, moving a little bit.

And, uh, then he like gets back down and you can hear like his head hit the back, like the back of his head, hit the, the door and he's like, you up yet, man.

Yeah, I didn't, uh, I didn't sleep well last night.

I never wake up before you.

It's kind of, I'm gonna, I'm gonna take the win.

Yeah, yeah.

Um, no, I'm up.

I'm up.

Jonah.

What's up buddy?

How are your eyes?

Can you see anything?

No.

All right.

Don't worry about it.

I just checking.

Um, no easy way to ask, but, uh, all right.

I get it.

You, you don't need to see to relive a memory.

So like, close your eyes, man.

Um, when did I closed?

I let that slide and I close my eyes, uh, that have over, they've been like, I've literally had like fungal bloom and stuff come through my house.

Yeah.

And I have no idea.

Right, exactly.

Yeah.

The question, the prompt says, when did we feel badass recently?

But I think that, you know, Jonah would, would ask it of you.

He'd be like.

Tell, tell me about one of your badass flight missions.

Oh, shit.

Uh, well, I guess I've never really talked to you much about my time in the military, huh?

No.

Um, you know, I think you didn't want me to have to worry about that, but at the same time, I've seen the pictures posing in a jet and shit.

Like it's gotta be pretty cool.

There was, uh, there was one time we, uh, well, kind of before the world went to shit because of this virus, the world was already kind of a shit hole 'cause of war and greed.

But, uh, yeah, man, there was a, there was a small village, um, that we, uh, what's the word I'm looking for?

When you save someone liberated them.

I remember afterwards, my, uh, my group, they let us stay the night in the village after we had flown our mission because, um, well there were some logistical issues and we couldn't get back to base that night.

And, uh, they called us heroes.

They kept, they kept saying in their, in their native language.

Heroes.

Heroes, you know?

And, uh, I don't know.

I guess at that point I felt like we did something good.

It's hard to think of violence and death being something good, but I guess it depends what side of the coin you're on, you know?

Hmm.

Sorry, I don't have any uplifting, uh, stories.

If you want a good one about fighter pilots, watch, uh, Maverick and Goose.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I always assumed you were more an ice man myself.

I actually do laugh at.

Man.

Well, I can't see outside anymore, so I guess, uh, well, might as well finish up.

Barring up the windows.

It's pretty shitty out, man.

Overcast.

You're not missing anything.

Hmm.

I'm gonna go ahead and draw my next card.

Rene.

Okay.

Ooh, shit.

I slide this one under the door to you.

Okay.

It's the queen of hearts.

Queen of hearts.

The queen of hearts.

Okay.

Fuck.

This one's really good.

Oh shit.

Okay.

This is fucking great, dude.

So, we're just over here talking on either side of this door and what happens?

You've bared up the windows and we're sitting there and I start to hear something downstairs, outside, and I look out the window.

Something, something's, something doesn't feel right.

And you hear Jonah as he comes up to the door and he gives a little, he gives a little wrap on the door and he is like, Michael, I need you to do me.

Yeah.

I need you to do me a favor, man.

Just stay low, stay quiet.

I think something's outside.

I'm gonna, I'm gonna, what's going on?

I'm, I know.

No, stay.

Please quiet.

Trust me on this one.

It's my turn.

Fuck.

And I dunno, what, what are the chances you hear a shotgun rack?

Um, very high.

Very high in this one shot.

Um, yeah.

In our parents' house, your military, all this stuff.

So, uh, I think that you hear Michael, maybe it's not a full odd shotgun rack, but it's like you, you hear him grab something heavy and, and he's armed.

As you hear, it's a shotgun rack.

I hear a shotgun rack.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then, and then it's like, oh shit, I gotta be quiet.

Uh, as.

Jonah goes downstairs and you hear him trying to be quiet, but you hear the stairs cre and then, oh shit.

And then you hear like, and then you're like, oh, fuck these old Victorians.

Fuck.

And you're just, and you're just listening as, uh, Jonah's doing his best to be quiet as he looks around outside and he's looking through windows and he's looking through windows in the end, Jonah comes back upstairs, I think before, before you come back upstairs real quick.

Yeah.

I'm, I'm on the other side of this door and, uh, I've, I've broken a leg off a chair, so it's sharpened like a spike.

And I've got, I've got.

That spike in my hand and it's like pulled to my chest and I have a cross, I have a silver cross on my chest.

Mm-hmm.

And I'm holding that cross.

Mm-hmm.

And I'm just, I'm just praying under my breath for you.

Mm-hmm.

Like, be careful.

Be careful.

Be careful, Jonah.

God, watch over Jonah.

Please keep him safe.

I think Jonah comes back upstairs and is like, I didn't, I didn't see anybody, but I think no more hammering around the windows.

It's lay low.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Good idea.

Sorry.

No, it's, it's a good idea.

Don't leave open windows.

But I feel like at this point in time, Michael is just feeling so incredibly helpless.

Mm-hmm.

Like.

He's your older brother.

The world has gone to shit.

He's always been the one that protected you.

Even before.

Yeah.

The world went to shit.

Right?

Yep.

And in this moment, he's literally fucking blind, locked in a room.

Mm-hmm.

Completely fucking helpless.

Yeah.

Uh, he feels so bad right now, bro.

I think Jonah though is like, I got, I gotta, I gotta take care of my big brother, you know what I mean?

Like, I, I never did.

I never, I never had to.

Yeah.

I also need to show you again, he doesn't want to talk about it and say it in this way, but like, before you're gone, Jonah needs you to know he may have made some dumb decisions and done some stupid things.

Yeah.

It's, it worked out for a while, but now like he can take care of himself hopefully.

Hmm.

So I'm gonna flip my next card.

Love it.

And I love finally got a pass under the door, one.

Okay.

Right after you told me to stop banging on the windows too.

You fucking audacious bastard.

Oh.

Um, maybe I hear you tuning a guitar.

Ooh, sure.

I like that.

I, I say shit.

Jonah, you still playing that thing?

Hell yeah, man.

Of all the things I've started and quit, uh, this one stuck.

Oh man.

I would love to hear a song right now.

Now I don't even give a shit whi which one?

Um, okay.

And I think that Jonah is gonna laugh Free Road.

Do, does Michael just start singing some John Denver?

Um.

Is that John Denver?

I, oh God, the internet's gonna come at me for that one.

Um, yeah, there, I think it's, I think it's, I think it's, I think it's, um, sure.

He just starts playing some, uh, middle America folky, kind of like Americana chords.

Little sure little things just noodling.

I think this is probably, other than the little like chuckles and stuff like that, this is the first time that Michael is actually smiling on the other side of the door.

Mm-hmm.

And like when, when he smiles, the camera like pans into him and, and again, the light in his eyes has faded as it's kind of overgrown with like fungal and, and, and fungus blooms and stuff.

And like his teeth have fallen out and he is just, he is just there and he's just smiling, but he's like, full of joy in this moment.

Next card.

Alright, so the three of spade says, what argument have we had repeatedly since the end?

So since the world went to shit Yeah.

And this infection spread, what argument have we had over and over again?

Maybe we start with the argument.

Yeah.

Like we, we start having this argument again.

Yeah.

Hmm.

I mean, let's see.

Part of me thinks it's, we had the agreement that if one of us got infected, the other would do what we know needs to be done.

And I've, we've been sitting here for three days.

Yeah.

And you're a military guy, like, you know, probably struggling right now.

Like worse than ever.

You're blind, like you said, you're feeling hopeless.

Yeah.

Hey, uh, Jonah.

Yeah.

You wouldn't by chance be able to fit that shotgun under the door, would you?

Nah, bro, I cannot, I cannot do that.

We talked about this, Jonah, how many times have we had this conversation?

Yeah, but look, we're still talking.

You know, what do you want me to do?

I want you to help me.

I want you to help me, Jonah.

When, when it's all hypothetical, man.

You say, yeah, you say, you say, yeah, I'm, I can do that.

I will do that for you.

I can't watch you.

I can't watch you turn into that.

I can't, but let's, dude, let's be honest.

In the hypotheticals, it was me, bro.

It was not you.

And I can't, not, not yet, man.

Do you want me to get, I got, there's, there's some more sliced cheese.

Come on, stay with me, bud.

I think you just hear, you just hear Michael on the other side of the door, just start like hacking profusely.

And like, you hear the sound of just like wet insides, just fucking hitting the floor on the other side of the room and, you know, and Jonah's delusion or like, you know, uh, denial of it all.

He's just like, okay, all right.

You know, like, look, don't, don't force it, man.

Like I know.

Come on.

I know, I know.

Your coughs, bro.

This is, come on.

I'm gonna flip a card to, to like, this is gonna be like Jonah's trying to distract you.

Hopefully.

Let's see.

Yeah.

Oh, this is, I'm just reeling.

Oh, dude, this is a good one.

This is a really good one.

Okay.

Come on man.

We got, we got time.

We got, I look, maybe I'm being a little selfish.

I know, I know.

Look, hey, where, where did we always say we were gonna end up?

We're not we yet.

Where did we always say we would end up?

Yeah man.

We said we'd end up in the mountains with a small place.

Just me and you and mom.

Yep.

We said we'd go hunting.

We'd live off the land.

That's right off grid.

Oh.

Can't do it yet.

Seems so far away now.

Yeah.

Can't do it yet.

We're not there yet.

I don't know if I'm gonna make it there with you, bud.

You might have to get the place ready for mom.

Yeah.

And Jon Jonah's just sitting there, just kinda like pay, you can hear him pacing.

Not sure what to do.

God, I wish I had the answer for this, Jonah.

I wish I knew what to do right now, but I don't.

Just gimme a little more man, just a little more time.

Michael thinks about all the times that he's been there to help Jonah help him through every little thing, you know?

Mm-hmm.

And he's like, all right, brother.

All got, I'm gonna draw my card.

Mm-hmm.

Ooh, another one that I, I'm drawing all fucking high cards, bro.

Nice.

This is the ace of Hearts.

Is this one?

Ooh.

So close.

So close.

If it was the ace of, uh, spades, that's the end of the game, right?

Right.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

The card says, you hear my breathing grow heavy.

You were literally just doing it like intentionally earlier.

So like it's, it's, it's only getting raspier and wetter.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I think that, uh, not, not safety tool wisely.

This is just Jonah, like, kind of like banging on the door.

Like he can hear you right on the other side.

He's like, Hey, hey, hey.

Stick with me.

Come on.

Hey, talk.

Hey.

Nope.

Come on.

Come on, bro.

Please.

Come on.

Oh, man, it hurts to breathe.

Oh, come on bro.

I can't, Ugh, I can't, I can't do it.

I, I'm gonna flip one more card.

Yeah.

The card says, what have you used to defend yourself?

And I think that the way we can.

Swing.

This one is, how did I get infected?

Yeah.

Uh, so I think that, um, the question strikes Jonah that I'm standing on the other side of this door with a shotgun.

Yeah.

You said you tore off a chair leg and like started sharpening it.

Yeah.

So my question is, do you have a knife, like in your hands?

No.

No.

I, I was, um, I, I meant I ripped the chair leg off.

Oh, okay.

So it's, yeah.

And it broke in a way that it was squinted because I only have one hand.

Oh yeah, that's right.

Your other hand broke.

So what would, yeah, like how would we have gotten infected?

How would you have gotten infected?

Yeah.

And I, I like the idea of you defending me.

Like I was in rough shit getting attacked or something.

Yeah.

Trying my best to fight him off and then like, you literally saved my life.

Yeah.

But it was too late.

I had been bitten.

Yeah.

I, I see.

I don't know.

Uh, when I ask a question, normally you have to answer, right?

So like, what have you used to defend yourself?

Mm-hmm.

Um, and maybe that, maybe this is how Michael, and this is how Jonah asks Michael, is he says.

Hey, man, when we, when we were in that convenience store grabbing, grabbing water and stuff, um, did you ever pick up, did you ever pick up your gun?

Yeah, man, I did.

I, um, unfortunately I don't have it right now, but yeah, make sure you have one of those things with you at all times, man.

It's a, it's a necessity.

Yeah.

Um, I wish I, I wish I grabbed it.

I wish I grabbed it when we were in the store.

Mm, yeah, me too.

But fuck.

Okay, ro you, you, you let me know what.

I think at this point, like Michael's on the other side of the door and his back is pressed to the, the door.

Mm-hmm.

And I just picture you also like your back pressed to the door on the other side.

Mm-hmm.

And I've just got this sharp, spiked leg of a chair and I've just got it like held right under my right.

Under my, you know what I mean?

Yeah.

I'm, and I just keep, I just keep whispering like, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here.

I'm gonna, my next card.

Mm-hmm.

Eight.

Oh my fuck, dude.

Hey Jonah.

Yeah, bro.

And at this point my voice is kind of gurgled a little bit.

Mm-hmm.

I need you to promise me something.

If I can Yeah.

Promise me when I'm gone.

You're gonna stick around for a while here.

I just mean, promise me you're not gonna die.

Yeah, I can.

Uh, I'll make that promise, Michael.

Well, good.

Now I feel a lot better knowing that you're invulnerable.

Yeah.

Binding.

You got it.

I, I, I want you to know Jonah, for what it's worth, man, this is never what I never, what I had anticipated was gonna happen and, uh, I'm sorry.

You have nothing to apologize for.

I'm sorry that you've gotta be here for this, but I'm happy you're here.

Me too.

Me too, man.

I'm gonna flip my next card.

That's a terrible card to flip.

Terrible card to flip right after that.

I'm gonna pass it under the door.

Okay.

Oh shit.

Uh, I think we're just gonna summarize this one with a quick, what happens when you return?

Mm-hmm.

And I think, um.

I think you just hear me pounding.

Pounding on the door and screaming like a kid your name, just screaming, screaming your name over and over and over again as I'm just pounding on the door.

Yeah.

I think that Jonah had gone downstairs.

He grabbed another bottle.

He just like, kind of like, I think he walked outside fresh air.

Yeah, I think he was.

I think he's holding the shotgun in his hands.

Fuck.

He's just like pacing around the yard.

He hears a rustle.

He's getting nervous.

You know, he's looking around.

He, he closes the door.

He comes back upstairs and like when he comes back into the house, he hears the banging.

He hears the screaming.

He runs upstairs.

Jonah, I'm here.

I'm here.

Jonah.

I'm Mike.

I'm so sorry.

I'm, I needed, I needed some fresh air.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I should have, I should have told you.

I thought you left me.

No, I just, I was just, I, I'm not going anywhere, man.

I promised remember, I promised, I just promise me you're not going anywhere.

Yeah.

Nope, nope.

I'm done.

Running away, man.

I am done running two.

I'm gonna draw my next card.

Drew the ace of spades.

Oh, shit.

Okay.

So does this slide under the door?

This slide under the door?

Yep.

Then I imagine, okay, I will read it and, okay.

I, I'm gonna add a little bit of flavor that Michael didn't have the best handwriting to begin with.

Yeah.

Lined Michael.

It takes Jonah a good minute to be like, what the fuck?

What the fuck am I reading?

Yeah.

And then, but he, he, he unfolds this piece of paper and he's like, what, what is this?

And we get the monologue of, I can't see anymore.

I saw my last sunset yesterday evening.

And the saddest part was I knew you were watching the same sunset through eyes that are sad and scared.

I worked so hard to keep you safe all those years.

And now I find myself the monster kept at bay on the other side of this door.

I am scared of what I do to you if given the chance.

Do me a favor, brother.

When you open the store and see me there, remember me for the man.

I was the man I tried to be.

And if it's not too much to ask, bury me beneath those white roses in the garden where I may rest until we meet again.

And Jonah's hand is shaking as he puts this letter down on a bedside table.

He is crying.

He puts the bottle down.

And with two hands, he holds the shotgun.

He knocks a couple of times.

He says, Michael, I'm not going anywhere you there.

It's quiet on the other side of the door.

Jonah puts his hand on the doorknob, unlocks it, turns the handle, and slowly backs up holding the gun.

I like the idea of.

When you open the door and the the door, it just slowly kind of swings open.

Mm-hmm.

Right?

Built in an old, old house, the fucking mm-hmm.

Walls are a little wonky, and you just see what's left of Michael.

He's fully taken by the infection and he's just standing there and he's got one, his one hand.

He's got the cross hanging, he's got the cross in his hand and it's on the window and he's just looking outside through the window and he can't see anything.

And then you just hear these kind of guttural animal type of sounds and stuff as he slowly turns towards the door.

Yep.

And I think Jonah stands there and waits as long as he can until one RAs too many.

I think he continues to say, Michael, Michael not going anywhere.

Michael.

Michael, answer me Michael.

And it's just that like that guttural.

Yeah.

Liquid.

And I think it just crescendos to a screaming Michael.

And when you don't respond eventually on one of these screams, the screen cuts to black and you just hear the sound of the shotgun shock.

Yeah.

Fuck.

Oh my god, bro.

Cuts to black.

Fades in on white roses.

And that's, and that's where it ends with a shovel.

Freshly done.

Yep.

With a shovel.

Exactly.

Oh, man.

This game.

What a game, dude.

This game is heavy, dude.

Yeah.

Virtual hug.

I literally was crying.

I was literally crying during this game.

Yeah.

This is when, this is when in the game.

If you play this in real life, you open the door, you hug that person.

Oh, fuck.

Oh man.

What a game.

Yeah.

What a concept.

Thank you, Elliot.

Wow.

Yeah.

No kidding.

Oh man.

I knew we would like this one.

Sorry.

Sorry to get you all, uh, teared up over there, man.

No, it was really good, man.

It was very, very powerful.

Mm-hmm.

I'm somebody who, who thinks very much in images.

Imagery is very powerful to me.

Yeah.

And it's how I, I think in imagery.

So every time you would read something, or every time I would imagine a scene, it was me picturing these two brothers on either side of the store, you know?

Yeah.

Again, you know, I, I love to think of tabletop role playing games in terms of like, again, same, uh, I have a very active imagination, very, very good at picturing things in my mind, and I tend to narrate, like it's a TV show for a lot of my solo stuff, even for my group games.

When I GM this whole time, it was almost like, you know, I'm thinking of it like directed like a TV show, and most of it is literally shot with like, just a line in the middle of the screen.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

And two and two rooms.

But you know, occasionally you'd get like a keyhole kind of, um, yeah.

You know, just one of us or whatever, but, oh man, that is, oh.

What a powerful game.

There's so, and there are so many questions, like, I was like, looking at the bottom of my deck, just like kind of going, you know, what a, you know, like, what, what else could have been asked?

And there, there were some, like, there were some absolutely like, gut punches in here, dude.

Yeah.

Like done right.

You know, done with the, this is a game that you, you can't, like we did laugh a a few times, right?

Because like, like any game, like you cut the, the tension with, with a joke or whatever.

But like, this is a game that if, if you give it the full go and play it straight, like, I don't know how, like my chest hurts right now.

Like real talk.

Like, like I gotta take a deep breath, like, for real And just.

I have wiped snot all over this chair, bro.

I gotta, I gotta disinfect this shit with some Clorox wipes.

I'm looking around.

There's no fucking Kleenex anywhere, bro.

I'm just fucked.

Oh, man.

Well, oh man.

Thank you, Troy.

Thank you.

Thank you, bro.

Yeah, for, uh, thank you, man for joining me on that one.

This was a, this was a great, great experience.

Rene.

Mm-hmm.

Um, I had a really good time with it.

I think it was, this is such a great game to play if you've got someone that you've known for a long time, right.

Doesn't have to be a sibling, but somebody you've known for a long time.

Um, if you guys can vibe off each other well and build off each other's stories, right.

Like, do you remember that time when Yeah.

Do you remember that time when Oh, I know, right?

Yeah.

And there, there are literally, like, one of those prompts was like, remember that like, you remember a fight you had and like, it doesn't say what the fight was about.

It's like I had to be like, remember the big fight and I was trying to like, think on the spot, like what was it about, you know, and it was just running away or whatever.

But.

Yeah.

Like if you have a person that, like you have any kind of, you know, this is something I would caution people.

Don't let it get too real.

Right.

You know what I mean?

Like, we, we brought a little bit of us into this.

We did, we did.

Um, but you know, like we said at the beginning, uh, a little bit of separation to just keep it safe, you know, healthy and safe.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

But, um, oh man.

Yeah.

And, and it goes to show, you know, these games, you know, I talk to people all the time about games, like in interviews and playing games with folks and all this stuff.

Like there is something to be said for people say all the time, these kinds of games, they breed empathy because you like have to put yourself in other people's shoes.

You have to confront other ideas.

You have to not solve every problem with X, Y, z, like, depending on the game you're playing, but like, just the, the core concept of this game is just a reminder that even in a world where we're not living through, and, and I can see where.

The inspiration came for a game like this.

There was an epidemic a few years ago, but even in a world where we're not facing an apocalyptic end, it's a reminder that, you know, we're all on a clock.

You know?

Yeah.

It might, it, it's never, it's never a bad idea to maybe have that hard conversation while you can, you know?

But I think that's a plug, I think that's a plug for Living Wills.

You get your living wills and your estates all sorted out while you're young and healthy.

Oh, you know, it's funny is, uh, I had a little bit of a moment like that this past week.

Uh, my wife and I went to my, my Works holiday party, and then we met some folks out after.

We were, we were the old people at the bar, like me and Lynn due.

It was like all college kids.

And I was like, oh no, I, I am old.

You know what I mean?

Holy shit.

Yeah.

Thanks for the reminder to put my living will together.

Yes, you're welcome.

That's the first responder in me to you, so Yes.

Alright, well, well rain, thanks again so much, man.

Yeah, man.

For having me back on the podcast and uh, this is something that now that I'm not in school, I'm hoping we get to do a little more often.

Hell yeah.

Um, hell yeah.

Because I miss playing these, these random indie RPG games with you and stuff.

You always come up with such good ones to play.

So Yeah, man, you and you'll always be, um, you know, you'll always be on the list of messages I send out to be like.

Your number, ginger.

That's right.

That's, well, unfortunately.

Tell Lynn, tell Lynn she's a close second.

Unfortunately, that does go to Lynn.

But you're a close second, right?

You know what, one A, one B, right?

Uh, that's how, yeah, exactly.

Alright, thanks Troy.

Uh, do you wanna pitch anything?

I mean, like, do you want, um, I know you're working on, you know, you're getting your, your game therapy stuff up and, uh, up and running.

Yeah.

I guess I'll just, I'll just plug that a little bit.

I mean, it's not something that I'm looking for clients on or anything like that, but just, um, you know, started this really exciting journey a couple years ago, uh, becoming a therapist.

And, um, I recently, during my clinical time last year, found a way to blend two of the things I'm most passionate about, which one is therapy and helping people.

And then the other one is role playing games and telling stories.

Mm-hmm.

And I found a way to make those two worlds collide.

And dude, it has been, it has been incredibly rewarding.

Yeah.

You know, and, and if you're listening to this game, you just listened to a very heavy.

Very heavy game and session and story.

And there are, there are tools like this, you know what I mean?

The games can be used to explore these things and, you know, uh, they don't replace therapy, but they're, they're a powerful tool.

So, yeah.

And you know what's also fun too?

I told Amber before we go, I told Amber, uh, she gets paid to play d and d and now so do I.

So look at that.

Made the dream.

We won.

Yeah.

Heck spot man.

We won.

That's right.

We fucking won.

Alright, well thank you Rene.

Thank you again.

And as always, thank you so much for listening to another episode of the Rene Plays Games podcast.

I think the time we have is a good last actual play to end the year on, not as some kind of horror story, although arguments could be made for the world as it is right now, but more a reminder that you never know when something could happen.

And as the winter and the holidays are typically a time for being around family, even if they're family you don't particularly get along with, it might be a good time to remember to say something you have been meaning to say, but never have the time to or courage to or want to have that conversation.

I'm not telling you what to do, but food for thought and that's it.

You notify me on the internet rate and review.

If you like this kind of stuff, come join the dm, subject, rock discord, hang out, and otherwise, I hope you have a wonderful holiday.

I hope you have a wonderful end of the year, and I hope that your next year starts incredibly well.

Obviously, there's a couple more episodes after this for the year, but it feels like a real winding down, so stay safe out there.