What if I had pronounce it?

Yeah?

What if.

Campsite media.

So I've got a good question for you here to start the day.

M h.

I think you're gonna have I hope you're gonna have a great answer for this one.

So okay, a lot of pressure here we go.

What's the weirdest or the worst thing you've ever snorted?

Oh?

Well, if you were trying to get me to drugs, I'll never give you that, Josh, I'll never give you that I've snorted drugs.

In fact, this makes me think the whole podcast up until now has been a trap.

Damn it, you're a nar all right, drop the show.

He knows he figured it out.

I would probably the craziest thing I've ever snorted was an eraser off of a pencil, and luckily was able to blow it right back out, because I can't imagine the road that would have been.

Like I am, I once tried snuff and it was just terrible.

And I don't smoke and I never chewed to me, but I don't know why I did it, and it was god awful.

And you tried to snort it.

Well, that is a thing that people do, I think, or was I using it wrong.

I want to say, you were using it wrong, dam I think, isn't it like dip or like chew?

If it was, then it definitely went in the wrong orifice.

Well say as dumb as these criminals, Josh, I mean, they didn't choose me to host for snuff is nothing compared to what we're going to talk about this week on Crime List, when we tackle the very important and often uncomfortable matter of fake drugs, Starting with a story about some burglars who thought they'd stumbled into a giant stash of cocaine, only to find out later it definitely wasn't cocaine.

What was it?

That's after the break.

Welcome back to Crime lest, the podcast that celebrates the amazing creativity of the world's dumbest criminals.

I'm Josh Dean and I am Rory Scoville, and I would just like to let everyone know during the break we looked it up.

Josh was right, you can snort snuff ha vindicata.

There there you go.

I mean, it didn't make me any cooler or less.

Yes it did.

Our listeners, now hold you way above me.

They know that I'm a nerd who doesn't how to do drugs, and they know that you've done.

Drugs tobacco anyway, So I'm not exactly up on my statutes of limitation.

See what I did there, Like attorneys general.

So I'm not going to ask you invasive questions about your own drug use except when completely necessary.

Perfect.

I mean, you live in Colorado, so we can all safely assume you spoke weed.

There you go, edibles, joint, I smoke snuff, I swallow snuff, I ingest snuff.

No, I think Colorado it's fully legal all things I think.

I don't really know.

I think mushrooms may be psychedelics, psilo cybin at least I know is legal, just based on the fact that you can now get it in fancy corporate packaging, which is always a sign that it's legal.

Road trip too, We're gonna tape in Colorado and we're all gonna eat shrooms before, Yeah.

And do an episode, a live episode, the first live crime less.

Well, that's actually a great idea.

It's a horrible idea, actually, Josh, I mean eye the Beholder.

Anyway, We're not here to talk about real drug this week.

We're talking fake drugs.

Yeah, which for me is a subject that goes all the way back to high school, when I'm pretty sure I smoked a regano or some like mixed herbs at a party because I was told it was weed and thought it was cool.

Yeah, but what got me thinking about this was a story from twenty eleven.

That's the year of the Japanese tsunami, Kate's marriage to Prince William and Osama bin Laden's death.

But after today, you're gonna remember the year twenty eleven best for the story of five young dudes in Silver Springs Shores, Florida who got arrested for burglarizing a home.

Florida classic, here we go.

Do you know where Silver Springs Shores is?

By chance?

No one does, No one ever will well until after this episode.

Yeah, it's it's kind of important because Silver Springs Shores is a misnomer.

It's definitely not on the shore or anywhere near the shore.

It's smack in the middle of Florida, near.

Okalla, Florida.

You are too consistent.

It's so on branch.

Yeah.

How many people bought houses in Silver Springs Shores?

Things unseen?

Assumed it was waterfront property.

One thing.

But I think this is kind of important because there's coastal Florida where you get tourists and Canadians and New York retirees who've mixed in with the Florida guy.

Ye.

And then there's inland Florida, which is basically West Virginia or Alabama.

But it's like all Florida, man, I think, or mostly Florida, man.

I think you're right.

So anyway, I mentioned that as a way to give you a sense of the kind of teen criminals we might be dealing with here.

So there were five of them, three adults aged nineteen, nineteen, and eighteen, So adults is in quotation marks there.

The youngest of adults, yes.

And then two juveniles who I'm going to guess were like seventeen.

Probably they're all friends.

Their names aren't important.

I'm not going to add any additional shame to that that they've already brought upon themselves.

And our story begins with a woman coming home and realizing she's been robbed.

She's missing some electronics, she's missing some jewelry, set of vases or vases?

Are you vas or vase?

Guy?

I say vase?

Oh, vase?

I also say aunt instead of aunt.

Hmm.

I don't know why I offered that up.

But Tomato, so vase.

I think I say vace, You say oz.

I think I say I think I say it both ways trying.

You know what I say vase, And internally I think o oz is right, But yet o oz sounds so snooty.

I can't bring myself to do it.

It's true, we're talking, even though I think it's correct, And in Florida, I'm gonna guess vace is probably vase.

Yep, good call, good assumption.

Okay, So these two vases contained the cremated ashes of her father and her two deceased great Danes, Samson and Epic.

And I know what you're thinking.

Why the hell would some kids steal eurns filled with ashes because of course they thought it was cocaine.

Oh god, geez, okay man, oh yeah, right to the jugular, right the gate.

Oh yes, So this is what I'm talking about.

These kids snorted the dog ashes or the old man's ashes.

We can't be sure.

What I appreciate is that you said vase or vase, and then we just found out it was an urn, and so you rope me into that for no reason.

Hey, Roy, do you say it right or do you see it wrong?

I'm dumb, Josh Well.

Trick question because it's an urn.

Do you say urn or orn?

I go with the Norwegian orn?

I go orn with an umlot.

Also my favorite couch an aikiya love the urn?

Oh yes, yes, yes, yes.

So the burglars realized it wasn't actually cocaine, well probably when they snorted the pattern.

It tasted gross and nothing happened, and they later threw the ashes into la because they were worried they left fingerprints on the containers.

Yeah, and this is all according to Marion County detectives, by the way, who talked to a local CBS affiliate.

So imagine this scene.

I'm guessing one of them finds these urns and convinces everyone else that it's coke, and they cut these giant lines and then ugh, and then they.

Feel like it tastes like a life that's already been lived, I.

Mean, or a chunk of bone got stuck in someone's I mean, just horrible, horrible realization.

When that happens, right, the dude who actually had the idea has now lost all credibility with its friends.

Do you think this is the only time in human history this has ever happened.

I wonder how common of an error this is.

I have a surprise for you.

Just hang in there, because I didn't even tee that question up.

Oh good god, I'm already onto it.

So these three adults are charged with multiple counts of robbery.

Not sure what happened to the juveniles other than I'm sure a lot of ridicule at school.

That's gonna be a hard one to live down.

Oh yeah, And I also wish I could tell you this was an isolated incident.

Rory.

Oh god.

But in March twenty fifteen in Missouri, three teens, again teens, the oldest in this case seventeen, robbed a house.

And this is sounding like a copycat crime, but honestly probably describes every home burglary.

They stole electronics, they stole jewelry, some prescription drugs, and human ashes that they thought were cocaine.

Oh my god, Oh I just all right.

I mean, have you seen an earned full of ashes before?

I've seen an urn.

I've never opened it just because of the haunting that would then occur and the portal that would open, so I've always left it closed.

But I've got to assume there are some obvious textural and color differences between human ashes and cocaine.

And I'm not an expert here, folks.

My assumption is there would be some red flags.

Yeah, like I don't know that they're pure white, and maybe there's some chunks in there, like yes.

Also, and here's the other thing.

It's kind of a large quantity and it's way heavier than you think, which means that like there's teens running around out there thinking that random people have giant piles of cocaine and vases lying around.

Like, was anybody like who lives here?

Escabar?

This is way too much cocaine two dogs worth in the first place.

I mean I think, yeah, marked in some math earlier and figured out like several hundred thousand dollars worth of cocaine probably.

Okay, it's teen, So they're gonna be a little bit optimistic.

They're kids, you know, they're like, holy shit, man, we scored.

Yeah, And naturally people would keep it in a vase and orn on the mantle.

Yeah, that's where I keep my drugs on the mantle, so that easy access.

Right away.

Somebody comes by.

Somebody comes by, Hey, sit down.

Just sit down.

I don't have to go get it's right here.

According to a local cop quote, one of the suspects tasted the ashes and determined it was not cocaine as they originally suspected.

The ashes were then thrown from a car window and never found.

Yep.

I mean, I guess that's the natural.

So the first set of guys threw it in a la second set of guys threw it out the window.

Yeah, I mean, I just I got to say, I think the second guys are a little more realistic.

I think the lake was maybe a little more respectful, despite the fact that environmentally you're not supposed to be doing that.

But I feel like, yeah, a lot of people want their ashes spread on the water, so that's what I mean.

So in a way, they were like, hey, we made a mistake, but you know, these dogs and this guy, they're ready to swim.

And what those guys don't know is that all three of them drowned, and so it was actually kind of a weird place to spread the ashes.

Dark.

The victim this, a woman named Devor Peters, told a local NBC affiliate that the ashes belonged to her father and that wasn't the only upsetting thing for Deborah.

She knew the burglars, and I quote, there were people that I knew that I never thought would do something like this to me.

She knew them.

Yes, So, according to cops, they were family acquaintances who hatched the plan to rob the house after seeing a Facebook post that the residents would be away, which I think is worth pausing on for a crime lest public service announcement.

Yes, listeners, please don't announce your vacations on Facebook, right.

Yes, go or you know, post about it after the fact, exactly.

You just don't want to go.

Hey, And also, here's the code to the garage, Like, leave all that out of the post.

So how do you think they got caught?

Tough one?

Uh?

Did they leave something behind?

No, this is a This is some fancy detective work here in Missouri.

Oh you're talking Colombo.

Colombo coming up here.

So they stole an Xbox and the cops used the gaming systems IP address to chase them down.

Oh man.

So the sum total of this is that the storting of ashes, intentional or otherwise, is at least enough of a thing to have given birth to a name, Creamine Lining, which is in the Urban Dictionary, defined as quote when you snort your dead friend's ashes.

Yeah, yeah, creamine lining.

I mean, I did not know this before the other day, and I'm slightly horrified.

But also I feel like a few years from now this will be a trend.

It'll be a TikTok trend.

This is like the tide pods, uh thing.

Yeah, that's uh.

That's so I'm led to believe that this is probably fairly common across the across the country.

We just don't know about it as much.

Well, not just across the country.

I got another one from.

Josh if I I am teeing you up on these transitions.

Wow, we didn't even play.

We didn't even play, folks.

This is all in real time, just happening.

It's just happening.

Ultimately, the trend of creamine lining, so several of these things happening in succession.

Began a story on Psychology Today from twenty seventeen which looked at the so called phenomenon, and the story subsequently revealed it to be mostly about mistakes and hype.

So you don't actually need to worry that your kids are doing this.

In most cases, I don't think they're snorting dead relatives, right.

However, Psychology Today cited a story from nineteen ninety three is the possible origin for all this.

Yet again, it's a robbery where thieves took ashes thinking it was coke.

Yep.

In this case, the ashes of the victim's mom, Gertrude, were wrapped in cellophane and stored in a fishing tackle box, which at least seems like a thing you could mistake for someone's coke stash.

Yeah, I gotta say that seems like it would look cocish.

Also a weird place to like wrap the ashes up in selfhane and put them in a tackle box.

Yeah.

In fact, I now do believe it was coke and this is how they.

Got it dismissed.

This is brilliant.

Yes, these are actually smart criminals.

So seven years later the British tabloids lit up about another robbery, another case where electronics and jewelry and ashes were snatched, in another situation where the goofballs who committed the robbery seem to have been mistaken, at least temporarily.

Here's a section quoted in the story from Psychology Today, and this one is pulled from the tabloid The Sun in England and it's a good one, Okay.

A policeman called to investigate the break in at Chadwell Heath fell about laughing when he saw the burglars had arranged the ashes in cocaine style lines.

Quote.

I'd love to see their faces when these thieves realize, said Vvith.

It was horrible knowing that they were in my house, but the idea of them trying to get high on a dead dog certainly made me feel a bit better.

I mean, I got it.

I've never done cocaine, but I gotta assume you know immediately that this is not you know, can you smoke fake pot?

You can smell it, but you kind of know it.

Maybe it takes a second to realize you're probably not going to get hot.

I think cocaine, don't you know, like instantly, Like aren't you immediately?

And I think it's fair to say, yeah, especially in what I imagine the quantities to be here, because like I think cocaine lines are typically quite small, and if these guys are pouring out piles of ashes, then yeah, we're talking scarface.

Can you imagine we are talking paccino style coke?

Bingjing.

Could you imagine how excited, like before you even do the fake coke, your heart is racing thinking we just made one hundred thousand dollars.

I mean yeah.

They came to steal an xbox and ended up with like a pound of what they believed, for a fleeting moment was cocaine.

This is gonna be the new Oregano.

I literally just anyone with ashes.

But like you know, you could turn a dollar if you just get that rid of that urn vase and you go uh and you just go put it in a bagg.

You just got to wrap it in selfon and put it in a tackle box and leave it out and start going around town just like flashing it to people.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So like still, I've read now four stories about this.

I'm sure there were more.

It all seemed deranged to me still, and so I stumbled on one more story that at least gives it all some context, that it's not just boneheaded robbers who snort ashes.

Celebrities do it too.

Oh god.

So this came out twenty years ago in an interview with a British magazine and Emmy and this is a quote.

The strangest thing I've tried to snort my father.

I snorted my father.

The man said he was cremated, and I couldn't resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow.

My dad wouldn't have cared.

He didn't give a shit.

Who said it?

Rory, I mean, I just saw.

My instinct is always Keith Richards.

Yes, ding ding ding ding, or any sort of drug thing.

I'm like, well, has anyone gone further than Keith Richards.

I mean, I think it's safe to say now the answer is no.

Yeah, that's some That's some championship type shit right there.

He's I mean almost in destructed, maybe totally instructive.

I like that.

Keith Richards thought all of our reactions would be but won't your dad care?

I like it.

He was like, he wouldn't care yet, No shit, Keith, we're not talking about if your dad's gonna care.

He also said it went down pretty well, and I'm still alive.

At least he mixed some coke in there.

He did.

Yeah, and I'm sure Keith Richards has a good blow.

And his dad's last words were, I wish you would have gotten off drugs at some point, and Keith was like, I'll show you.

I mean, I can't even imagine once you've been you know, incinerated like that.

I got to assume there's some carcinogens at play here.

This is not This might be actually more unhealthy than doing coke.

Which brings me to a question I wanted to ask you.

Is it even safe to or human remains?

Yeah, I gotta I mean maybe if the person died from a coco overdose, that's the only chance you might actually get some some percentage of cocaine in there.

I don't know.

I gotta assume no, I mean the carcinogen thing.

And look, our audience knows this.

I am not educated.

So if I say there's carcinogens in it, don't come at me and Josh or attack Josh.

Don't attack me.

Don't come at us with this.

There's no carcinogens in there.

I actually think that's a really smart guess.

So I'm gonna say it's not healthy carcinogens, all.

Right, Not to give anything away, but I think you're probably onto something here.

Yes, And I don't know what people did in a situation like this before the Internet, but today a big question like this, I'll have to do with Google search, and I was both delighted and a little horrified to find a robust Reddit thread on this very.

Subtle roun Oh yeah, oh shit.

I'm not enough of a Reddit guy to figure out who started the thread, but I assure you it exists and it contains quite a spicy discussion.

So you've already given me your answer not safe.

Let's find out what Reddit tells us.

Naturally, the most up voted answer is some know it all lane, you want to do the honors here to we can hear this in a different voice.

Pretend that you're hearing a Reddit thread writer here.

I can think of no good reason to snort quote unquote ashes, which aren't really ashes but solid particles with absolutely no psychoactive effect.

If a person wants to snort cremated remains of the dead, I would suggest a series of visits to a therapist or a psychologist to work out issues with the dead person would be more appropriate.

So that's the top ants.

That's the most top voted answer from a know it all, And I think you know that's wise advice.

I think I like that it's the most top I like that.

A lot of people were like, yeah, all right, I'll get behind this.

You should go to a therapist if you're snorting.

So I'm sure some of these people are just sick ohs.

But others actually seem to think snorting ashes might be a way to connect with a dead loved one, to make them part of you.

No, Like, here's another one from Arizona Lane.

You want to read this one too.

Sure.

I don't know if a bunch of chemicals are used in the cremation process, or if for some reason they use any kind of a balming fluid in the body previous to burning.

These pretty much are the only reasons I never snorted George.

I certainly thought of it.

George her husband, I think.

So.

This was from a woman who was like, clearly contemplated snorting her husband's ashes, but was worried about Rory Carcinogen's.

I gotta say, I love the brain that isn't that is even contemplating maybe doing this, but is actually smart enough to consider the logical reasons as to why they shouldn't.

And naturally went to Reddit to work that out.

What a cease all life that is.

But yes, I mean more than likely those cremated remains there is embalming fluid.

I'm sure there was potentially a visitation where they've now like embalmed the body so that they can put it out for you know, put it on display in a visitation sort of way, last visitation, and then it gets incinerated and all of those chemicals.

And aren't we full of plastics?

Isn't that what I keep reading?

Oh, then it's probably fine.

Yeah, now we're all made out of microplastics.

I mean, I think I know the answer to this, but I got to finish this particular segment with a question Rora, which is, on the tragic occasion that your wife predeceases you, would you snort her ashes?

I like that term predeceases?

Would I snort her ashes?

I think it's safe to say I will not do that.

All I do is make all these jokes this whole episode, and at the end, I'm like, I mean, I try it.

Hell, come on, it'll be fun.

Come on, sweetie.

I would have to be in the darkest place I've ever been to also ask someone who hasn't done coke but decided to try that.

I think that's the right answer.

When she listens to this, she'll be happy.

She'll be so happy, or she'll be insulted like, oh, I'm not good enough.

Oh I'm not good as good.

As coke, as good as Keith Richards's dad.

Yeah, at least Keith Richards had respect for his father.

So more fake drugs coming up.

Let's all snort some caffeinated crystal light and meet back here after the break.

This is Carlos, Okay, So teen criminals snorting dog bones by accident is one thing I think we can agree.

It's sort of hilarious except to the dog owner.

But there's a larger theme here too, And I wanted to spend what's left of our show talking about people who purposely sell fake drugs.

Oh oh, and maybe this isn't a surprise to you, but the world of fake drug sales is robust.

There are a lot of people out there selling fake, counterfeit pills and powders, like some seriously fucked up shit on a massive corporate scale, like a the EJ indictment in Texas from February when an Indian guy was charged with allegedly selling fake cancer drugs.

Oh yeah, awful to a case by the US Attorney in New York City prosecuted last fall, in which eighteen guys were charged, was selling counterfeit fentanyl and other opiates from fake online pharmacies, which resulted in nine deaths.

So don't want to bum you out here.

We're gonna move on.

I just wanted to say that this is rampant, and there are lots of stories like this.

The Internet and cheap shipping have led to a golden age of online drug scams.

Extremely not funny stuff, but this is crimeless, and I'm going to stop bumming you out.

Thank you, Josh.

I mean Jesus, you've got to start putting a warning before it gets real.

I can give you a break.

If you want to hit your bong, lighten things up, take some of those shrooms.

If you want to hit your bong and take a deep snuff hit real quick, put some tobacco in your bong.

Don't you love that?

That was like headshops back before they were like legal, and you'd go in there and there'd be a bong and everyone had to pretend that was for tobacco.

Oh h, could you imagine a tobacco hit at that degree.

That's a year's worth of cigarettes right there.

Just a guy walking down the street hitting tobacco bong hits.

Like oh this, Oh no, this is tobacco.

This is how much I have to smoke.

This is technically eighteen packs a day.

All right, so let's resume our journey.

Do you think it's illegal to sell fake drugs in the small time sense?

I mean, like a reganos marijuana or an aspirin as an oxy.

Do you think that's against all m I mean I guess no, Like something like a regano.

You could just be like, no, I thought he wanted to buy some.

It is legal?

Good?

Oh sorry, I'm in illegal.

You didn't let me finish.

I think it's illegal.

Even if they even if you know they're fake, there are state and federal laws against it.

In Florida, it's illegal to sell or offer someone a controlled substance and then actually sell that person a different substance.

God, just think it's illegal to sell illegal drugs, and it's illegal to sell not illegal drugs.

How is anybody supposed to know what to do?

California has the California Imitation Controlled Substance Act, which criminalizes both selling, imitation and counterfeit drugs, and other states have crime specific to selling imitation drugs Louisiana, Maine, New York, Texas, Washington.

That's not an exhaustive list.

Check your local statutes, Rory.

If you're on tour and you're selling oregano, just check the statutes.

This is good to know because my merch table is growing after these stand up shows and I'm selling all kinds of stuff.

Great day and ashes, great Dane.

Ashes, herbs, ORNs, herbs with ORNs, and vases.

You can also be charged with fraud in some cases, and I'm guessing often you just get your ass kicked.

That's just street justice.

Yeah, street justice.

Which brings me to an amazing story I stumbled on during my research.

All credit here to Wece, which I think we could all acknowledge, should sort of own, the fake drug beat back.

When Vice first came to New York City in the early odds, they had this magazine cover that I will never forget.

It was fully mirrored with an embossed line of cocaine on it.

This was the cover of the magazine.

Yeah, very cool, very edgy.

Actually, I'm sorry I'm giving a little bit too much credit device because Vice actually took this story from someone else, a website called muck rock.

I read about it on the Vice website, but it was an incredible piece of history that was turned up from the declassified CIA archives.

Back in the early seventies, at the height of reefer madness, the extremely square Central Intelligence Agency made a booth for display at events.

It was one of those booths like you see at trade shows, only in this case, it was created by the offices quote Office of Medical Services to warn parents of officers about the dangers of drug abuse and how to spot trouble in your kids.

Part of this booth was a bag of actual weed, so parents could pick it up, hold it, smell it, get used to what it looks like.

But when the agency wanted to take the booth to an AMA medical conference, somewhat blanket in the legal department pointed out a problem.

They'd be crossing state lines with a controlled substance.

Uh all right, I like that.

Not okay even for the CIA.

Yep, I like that.

You call them square.

So how do you think they solved this problem in getting it over the state lines?

Yeah?

Like, well, they just decide we can't do we can't take weed across state lines, but we do want to teach the parents of our officers around America how to spot weed.

So what do you so?

They had to go in undercover, go to a high school.

This is actually how twenty one Jump Street got.

This is the origin story.

This is the origin story of twenty one Jump Street.

They were like, all right, leave the weed here, let's cross state lines.

We'll buy more weed there from a high school kid.

I don't know.

That is my best guess.

I mean, that's actually I think that's better than what they did was they created fake weed.

Oh okay, they called it pseudo marijuana.

But this Erzat's Mary Jane cooked up by the agency scientists was so realistic even when burned, that it fooled people.

The booth won first prize at the conference, which is now maybe my favorite fact about the CIA.

The fact that it's a competition, that it's like a science fair.

Yeah, you did not see that coming.

I definitely did not know.

You were about to say they won first prize at the convention.

Tax dollars hard at work.

Incredible, The CIA weed booth won first prize at the American Medical Association conference.

Like that must have been so proud.

Yeah, they completely forgot what they were trying to teach.

All they could focus on was how to win again next year and build a dynasty.

One doctor's wife, who worked as a high school bus monitor near San Francisco, had this to say to the Saint Louis Post Dispatch.

Upon observing the booth light up the fake weed.

She said, quote, that smells just like the back of my bus when she goes back there when she drops the kids off.

Oh yeah, she drops them off, she goes to the back of the bus.

Cool mom opens the window a little bit.

What's on a little Arrowsmith?

I think we all know what I'm talking about.

Isn't that called hot boxing?

Is that what the kids say?

Uh?

Hot box?

It was a hot boxing got a school bus.

So I guess in closing, what's important to remember here is that the best maker of fake drugs in America is the CIA.

That's right.

That's according to Rory Scobel.

Please direct well all inquiries and investigations to him.

That's according to the judges, who I can't believe that wasn't some sort of an undercover.

As soon as the judges were like, this is just like real weed.

How are they not?

Like, how do you know that we got you?

And the judges were all arrested.

Everything is an elaborate sting that.

Put them in a tough position.

They're like, we should technically arrest these judges, but also we do want first place.

We got to just take the hit.

We need the ribbon.

Yeah, incredible little slice of history there, thanks to mock rock advice.

I love that so much.

There's even by the way, and I'll send it to you.

There's like an illustration of like they did a diagram of the booth.

Some guy in like the science partment at the Central Intelligence Agency sketched out the weed booth.

Yeah, and it was to classified a few years ago, so that means it was classified for several decades.

Nice, don't let us get out, guys.

So special twist this week, Rory, I created our final game.

And I'm gonna tell you are most experienced drug user on this staff.

You, Rory Scobel, frequent user of snuff and mushrooms.

Do I present as a drug user?

You just live in Colorado so my association.

Look, I have done mushrooms and pot, but that's really extent of it, and then pills, but are really counting at THEE.

So I'm gonna ask you, and Lane is also gonna play.

So you are competings Lane in this and so Lane also a massive consumer of narcotics.

I've just made that up.

I have no idea to say that.

My mom will listen.

I believe whatever the media tells me.

I was kidding Blane's mom.

I'm completely joking.

Rory's mom also wife, family members of both of you.

I swear I'm clean.

It's ewan we should be worried about.

Okay, So our game today is street slang for drugs.

I'm gonna read you, guys, six slang terms for popular drugs, and you have to tell me which one is fake.

I hope I get all these right.

So number one adderall, Okay, I'll read all six, and then you tell me which one is fake.

Beans, co pilots, truck drivers, zings, peppers, study.

Buddies, beans, I'm gonna go beans.

Are you going beans?

That's it.

We're supposed to pick the fake one.

Yeah, the fake one.

Right, I'm gonna saying you're both wrong.

It's peppers.

Okay, you don't have to yell at us.

This is surprisingly hard because the name nicknames for drugs are ridiculous.

Josh, you might have just turned it into slang for addro.

Someone heard this, They're like, I'm calling them peppers from now on.

It's gonna be my my proudest moment.

I'll be walking down the street someday I'll hear.

Peppers.

Okay.

Number two, Cocaine, dust flake, Avalanche, toot, snow white, Bernice.

Did you make up the fake ones?

I did make up the fake ones.

I mean, Bernice, I'm gonna say toot.

I'm gonna go.

It's I think it's my second guess is Avalanche.

I'm gonna go Bernice.

Lane, You're going to I'm going to Avalanche.

Rory go with your second.

Half a point half a point, all.

Right, we'll give you half a point to that you were half right.

Okay.

Number three, meth Chrissy, Christy go shards, Tina twin.

Defensive.

I'm gonna go Christy.

I'm gonna go twink.

Rory another points one point five to zero.

I'm too pure, it's.

Too let's just proof that Lane does not use any drugs her.

Your mom is gonna be so happy vindicated by Okay, number three, this is Rory is gonna have an unfair advantage here.

Bath salts, yep yep okay, bath salts, wicked x Ivory missed, drone Bloom Sorry, Vanilla.

Sky, I mean, I mean just sounds.

I'm gonna go.

I think that's real.

That's that seems like a basalt varietal.

I'm gonna go.

Vanilla's guy the correct answers, I remissed.

Oh I thought I've remissed for sure was real?

Is real?

Oh my god?

Me is real?

That's insane.

Just here to get some mew.

Okay, And lastly, ketamine, cat valium, honey oil, k fuzz kit cat purple, super acid.

I'm gonna go.

Is it my turn to guest?

First?

Sure cat valium blame uh purple, damn it.

I thought I thought when I saw it super I mean super acid is I mean both awesome and ridiculous.

I mean, super acid is so fun because it's meant to be undercut for But it's just naming another drug.

Yeah right, Like, Hey, you got any cocaine?

Like, what do you mean ketamine?

I mean ketamine, but I call it I call it different cocaine.

Call it super cocaine.

Do you have any super coke?

Lane?

I think you did your mom proud by going oh for five coy one and a half, your mom, I.

Mean, I'm honestly one point five.

I'm pretty I'm pretty proud of that.

You did a great job.

Well, congrats to Rory.

Take that, Lane.

I feel like, if there's a QUIZZI you want to not be good at it, that's one, yeah, bad.

One, unless you're an undercover cop, which.

I'm not, or like an undercover drug dealers.

Which I'm not.

Yeah, I exist on both sides.

Of the fence, all right.

That's our show.

Crimeless is a production of SmartLess Media, Campsite Media and Big Money Players in partnership with iHeart Podcasts.

It's hosted by Rory Scovel and me Josh Dean.

Our senior producer is Lane Rose.

Emma Simonov is our associate producer.

We're sound designed and engineered by Blake Brook with support from Ewan Letram Ewen.

Mark McAdam composed our theme song.

The executive producers at Campside Media are Vanessa Gregoriatis, Matt Cher, and me Josh Dean.

The executive producers for iHeart Podcasts and Big Money Players are Jack O'Brien, Lindsay Hoffmans, and Matt Appadaka for Smartlow's Media.

The executive producers are Will Arnette, Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, and Richard Corson.

Bernie Kaminski is head of Production.

The Associate producer is Mattie McCann.

A special thanks to our operations team, Ashley Warren and Sabina Mara.

Do you have a question, comment, or confession for the Crimeless team?

Email us at Crimeless at campsidmedia dot com.

And if you enjoyed Crimeless, please rate and review the show wherever you get your podcasts.

It helps people find the show and also makes us feel validated, unless you're mean, in which case keep it to yourself.

We'll see you next week.

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