you're listening to the decluttered mom podcast, a podcast built specifically for busy moms by a busy mom.

I'm your host, diana renee, and in 2017, I had my second daughter and it felt like I was literally drowning in my home okay, not literally, but I felt like I couldn't breathe with all of the stuff surrounding me.

Over the next 10 months, I got rid of approximately 70% of our household belongings and I have never looked back.

I kind of feel like I hacked the mom system and I'm here to share all the tips, tricks and encouragement.

Let's listen to today's show.

Hello and welcome to another episode of the Decluttered Mom podcast.

My name is Diana Renee and I am your host, and today we are going to talk about something called digital bedtime, and this is something that my kids and I have been implementing.

We actually started it in the spring and then over the summer, we kind of let it go, and that was because they had much later bedtimes over the summer.

It's really interesting because I, just for as long as I can remember as being a mom, it always felt like, no matter how late I let my kids stay up, whether it was for, like, an event or a special occasion or anything like that.

They always got up early the next day and it was like, oh, like we can't do anything late, like even just like going to fireworks or something like that, and they go to bed late and then they're always still up at the same time, sometimes even earlier, because they're overtired, and it felt like that would never change.

Well, this was the first summer my girls are 8 and 11.

This was the first summer that they actually would sleep in, which was really nice because I am a night owl and that rhythm would works really well for me, and so they would stay up anywhere between like nine, 30 and 10, 30, sometimes 11, but they would sleep in until like nine or nine, 30 and sometimes 10.

Like it was just.

It was like a totally different experience for me.

So if you are in the trenches with like babies or toddlers who are always up at like 6am, no matter what, I just wanted to give you that little glimmer of hope that it will not always be that way.

They will sleep in one day and I'm sure when they're, you know, like full on teenagers sleeping till two in the afternoon, I might feel different, but for now, like it, it was a very nice and welcome change this summer, so anyway.

So we got away from this over the summer is my point but in the spring we started this, maybe when there was like probably about two months left in the school year, and then we re-implemented it once we hit the school year and it's been so helpful.

So what we call it is a digital bedtime, and so helpful.

So what we call it is a digital bedtime and basically it means that at a set time whether that is a set time like an actual time, like 7 pm, or it's like a set time in your routine, which is kind of more what we've been doing, because every evening is different depending on what after school activities or homework levels or things like that is going on.

So for us it's after dinner.

So anytime we are done with dinner is when we start digital bedtime, and what it means simply is that we plug in and turn off our devices.

I have obviously my phone.

I have obviously my phone.

My kids do not have phones, but they both have an iPad, and so at digital bedtime they plug those in, they turn those off and then that way for the rest of the evening.

We don't have these devices that are stealing our time, attention, energy, all of the above For me.

I will some nights get it back out, like after they go to bed, because if I have to work or something like that, then I will need my phone.

But I've been really trying to.

For the most part I've really been trying to just let it be off for the rest of the night, because I just do just like my nervous system thanks me if I will just read and go to bed earlier, instead of getting that back out and working and staying up until two or three in the morning working, and so I've been really trying to do that.

But I will say, sometimes I do get it back out, but I do not get it back out until after they are in bed, so that that way it's just like the whole home environment feels less connected to the outside world during that time, and it's just been really interesting to see what that has done for us.

It's kind of silly in a way.

It's like, oh, we have to shut down these things in order for them to not distract us and dominate our lives.

But I'm just being honest and that's just kind of where we are.

I think all of us have some level of like screen addiction, but it's just if my phone is on, I have a I I just have like a automatic response to picking it up for like no reason.

Like sometimes I'll like pick up my phone and I'll like start scrolling and I'm like, why am I doing like I don't even this isn't even interesting to me right now, it's not even fun, and I'm still doing it and I don't.

I don't want them to develop that and I I don't really know how to stop that fully, just because technology is like such a part of everyday lives in every way at this point.

But it's, it's, it's.

It's it's If I can learn how to myself shut it down in the evening and have a more like tech-free evening, not only model that for them, but teach myself how to do that, because it's like it's a struggle, like it's something I have to learn how to do, then hopefully, maybe that can be something that they take from it as they grow, you know, as they grow up, they can also continue to do this and it just be something like that they do, because mom always did it and that's just what we did.

So that's my hope, I guess.

So the reason we started doing it is that I just felt like in the spring, it just felt like bedtime was like rushed, like it felt like we were just like constantly, like I was like come on, you guys like do this and this and this, and things weren't getting done in time and things were getting forgotten.

And then, like everyone was getting frustrated and there were more like meltdowns and also they were just getting to bed late, like every night, and I was like what, like?

Why is this happening?

And so I really like sat down to think about it and I was like what, like why is this happening?

And so I really like sat down to think about it and I was like it's the freaking screens, like it's.

You know, my 11-year-old we let her text with a couple of friends.

We don't let her text just anyone.

There's, like, I think, four girls that we let her text and so she will text with them and she FaceTimes with them.

And then my eight-year-old we don't let her text any friends, but she is allowed to FaceTime a couple of friends and she is allowed to text like grandma and Nana.

So she will do that a lot because they are the people that she gets to text.

So but for her it's more like games or she's really into.

She has the art for kids hub app, so she will sit there and she could do that for like eight hours in a row if I let her um, where she just draws, uh, and so she has that.

And then my 11 year old is texting friends and I was finding, and then me myself I was getting sucked into either work or scrolling on TikTok or scrolling on Instagram or you know like, there's like a bajillion things that I can get sucked into on my phone, and so I would get sucked into it and I would forget about like, oh shoot, it's 7.30.

I need to like showers should have already happened and they haven't even started.

30.

I need to like showers should have already happened and they haven't even started.

And it just felt like we were letting screens dominate and dictate how our evenings were going to go, and I was sick of it.

So we started digital bedtime Everything gets plugged in, everything's off, and if you're like, I can't turn off my phone because if, like, there's an emergency and someone needs to get ahold of me, I had the same feeling.

So we actually got a landline um for our house and like, so, if it's after digital bedtime and I need to, like, go to the store or something.

Yes, I'm going to bring my phone and have it on because, like I ha, like I have to be accessible, right, if something happened.

But if I'm home, then the phone is off and the people in my life my mom and my sister and, you know, like people that would need to get a hold of me in an emergency know my landline phone number and can call the landline if there's an emergency.

And that's actually it's nice too, because then I can just have my phone off all night because even if it's 2 am and there's an emergency, like I will wake up to our landline ringing because nobody ever calls it.

So if anyone does call it, I'm like what in the world?

Who's calling?

So we do have that.

I don't remember I think it was like $16 a month.

It was, you know, annoying to add an extra expense, but also it wasn't insane like an insanely high number.

And I just got the cordless phones.

I think we got like a three pack of them for whatever, I don't remember how much, but I just got them on Amazon.

So it was pretty simple to set up and it's just nice to be able to then have a little more freedom with what I choose to do with my electronics, based on just having that as like a backup safety net when it comes to emergencies.

So all of the devices go off and, like I said, for us, for our routine, it's right after dinner.

So when they're done with dinner, everything is turned off.

And if they like have one, like if I, if Miss Eleven really wants to text one friend one thing, like I will let her obviously, and then I'm like, okay, do your lot.

Like I'll give them like a five-minute heads up.

You have five minutes, we turn them off, we plug them in and then that way we have the last for us by the end of dinner.

It again depends on the night.

Some nights dinner's done and they have like two hours until bedtime.

Other nights, like there was multiple practices and we didn't even get home until it was time to eat.

So dinner was late and like it's dinner, it's like bedtime, right when they're done with dinner, and so it just depends on that.

But that's why we chose the routine time instead of like an actual set time on the schedule.

But if your kids are younger, like it might make more sense if they're not in a bunch of after school activities or sports.

It might make sense to have like a set time, like 7 pm, and so once the devices are off, we have this time to just like spend together or get the things done that we need to get done.

And it's just amazing how much quicker things happen when we don't have our devices.

Like even just doing like PM pickup or just them getting ready for bed honestly goes so much faster because they're just focused on what they're actually doing versus getting distracted or me getting distracted.

You know like they're doing something, they need my help, but I'm distracted so I say hold on and then it's next thing we know it's 25 minutes later.

They still need help, they're still stalled in what they're doing to get ready for bed.

Because I had to have them hold on because I got distracted by a work thing on my phone, and so it's been really interesting to see how much smoother just like a bedtime and evening routines go, like they're able to just like go right through their list they need to get done for their backpacks for tomorrow and for just getting themselves ready and taking showers and being ready for bed.

And another thing that I have really, really enjoyed and just like treasured is that we get way more reading time and we just do it together.

So, like now, we just have like this set amount of time before bed at least 20 minutes, but most of the time it ends up being much longer where the girls and I will sit in my ginormous recliner that rocks and which I don't know if you saw on my Instagram stories but I have this huge.

I got this huge recliner.

It's like twice the size of a regular recliner, and I got it because, as my girls are getting older, I get sad that I can't like sit with them in the same chair anymore because we don't fit, and so I took them to a store and we sat in it to make sure that all three of us fit and it's tight, but we all fit perfectly and it's just been.

It does not fit my room at all.

Like it does not fit the space.

It is not like the cutest chair in the world, but I'm like I don't care, like I want to hold on to them, being able to like sit with me as long as possible.

So we have this chair and we just read together.

We all have, we each have a book and we just silently read.

But we're together and it's just been a really nice way to end our days.

It feels like it's like a connection point.

Sometimes Miss 11 will read while Miss 8 reads out loud to me, but it's just been really.

It feels like all of our nervous systems are more settled as we go to sleep.

I wish I could say I sleep better, but I don't.

I don't, for whatever reason.

Apparently, screens is not what makes me not sleep well, but I sleep about the same.

I will say, though, that the girls sleep better when we are consistently doing this.

I do notice a difference in their ability to fall asleep, especially they're able to fall asleep quicker if we do this versus if they're on iPads right up until bedtime, and I don't know that it's necessarily a visually stimulating thing from the blue light or anything like that.

I think it's just that they're able to disconnect and calm their nervous systems a bit more before they go to sleep, and so this isn't groundbreaking idea.

This is not like oh my gosh, you just turn off your devices a little bit early.

It sounds silly when you say it, but it's just not something that we ever did until now, and maybe you do, and maybe you're like Diana.

This is insane that you think this is so great, but it's just been so, so helpful and I don't know like now I'm even like next summer I want to find a way to still do it somehow, because it's just been so helpful in so many ways.

And so deal.

My idea Do the digital bedtime.

If you've never tried it before, just give it a shot.

You might get pushback.

My oldest pushed back a little bit just because she really enjoys chatting with her friends, but once we started doing it, she was good with it.

I think she realized she got more time for reading number one, which is like she loves to read, and so that was helpful.

But I also think she just noticed how it feels different, and my youngest was like all for it.

So you might get pushback, but if you do just try it Just you know, talk to them about why you want to do it and honestly, like something that was interesting to them was the fact that I was doing it with them.

I think it would have been very different if I was just enforcing it for them, but the fact that I was also doing it, I think, made them feel more excited about the idea and also made it feel more fair in their eyes, I guess, which you know.

I just think it was um, I think that that is an important aspect is, like you, you could just have your kids do it, but I think it adds a new sense of just connection and and like team and also it's just.

It's just a different environment in the house when nobody has their phone or iPad or anything like that connected to them for a couple hours.

It just feels different than when everybody is looking at screens and not communicating with each other.

So, again, I hope this is helpful, but it's been something that I've really enjoyed and hopefully we will continue to do and I will keep you posted.

If we, you know we'd make any changes to it that are good or bad, or we end up changing anything or tweaking anything, I will let you know, but it's just been something that has been really great for us.

I hope this was helpful and we will see you next week on the Decluttered Mom podcast.

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