Jennifer Mackey-Mary: Have you ever ordered something online, but when it arrived, it was not what you expected? Or have you ever had a vision of the perfect piece in your head, but struggled to find it? Today, I’m sharing one of the best ways to make finding what you’re looking for, and getting what you expect, a whole lot easier.  Let’s get started!

Hello gorgeous, welcome back to the Everyday Style School, the show that teaches you everything your mom never did about getting dressed.  I'm your host, Jennifer Mackey Mary. After 25 years of dressing women with real bodies, budgets, and lives, I know great style isn't about following one-size-fits-all advice - it's about learning what works for you.

I want to share a little story with you. Way back in the day, when I was shopping with clients 3 or 4 days a week, I knew where everything was in the mall. You need a pair of petite dark wash bootcut jeans in a curvy fit? Try the ones at Loft. Oh, a button front shirt for a woman with a bigger bust? Try the perfect shirt at Ann Taylor. It was great, because sometimes I’d have clients with similar shapes and tastes, and I’d know exactly what they needed. Other times, I learned from what didn’t work—the pants that were terrible for my apple-shaped clients were fabulous for my hourglasses. It made my job super easy. But beyond knowing which stores to find things in, I was there so much, I knew where in the store everything was…a few times, I pointed sales associates in the right direction when they couldn’t find an item. That’s how much I was in the stores.

However, every now and then I’d have a few days off, and come back in to find a new floor set, and nothing was where I remembered it, which really slowed me down. One of these times, I was at nordstrom, and I knew the perfect top for my client, who was chilling in the fitting room. I just couldn’t find it. So I told the sales associate–I’m looking for the Caslon utility blouse that was hanging right here last week. The look on her face told me she had no clue what I was talking about, so I elaborated–it had a split-v neck, gathers at the shoulders, utility pockets on the chest. This sweet woman, who was probably new, set out to help me, and she was picking things up asking “Is this it?” Nope, that’s Halogen, I’m looking for a caslon blouse. Is this it? Nope, that’s a knit top, I’m looking for a blouse. “Is this it?” No, that’s a tie-neck blouse, I’m looking for a split v-neck. 

It became obvious that she was just picking up random things, hoping she’d get lucky, which wasn’t going to happen…but it also became obvious that she couldn’t help me, because she didn’t know some VERY basic clothing terms, and that's what we’re talking about today. 

Becoming fluent in the language of clothing is one the best things you can do to make style easier, but it's something most women have probably never thought about. We know the basics, and maybe pick up a term or two along the way, but without expanding your vocabulary, you’re missing out on an important style fundamental.

So here’s what we’re going to talk about today. First, we’re going to talk about why a strong vocabulary is important. Then we’re going to talk about the key categories of clothing terms you should know, as well as a couple of roadblocks  when it comes to expanding your vocabulary. and finally, we’ll wrap up with how you can become more fluent in style. 

Let’s start with why it’s important to speak style. Obviously, if you’re like the woman in my story, helping people buy clothes, speaking the language is pretty important. But I’m assuming you don’t fall into that category, so who cares, right? Well let me tell you. I’ve got 3 good reasons. 

First, it makes shopping so much easier. This week, I was reading a review of an item that said this: The title is Great Design, and the review is It’s true to size and has a nice fit. It’s flattering, and the quality is great, but I only gave it 3 stars because I don’t like wool. Well that’s funny, because the item is literally called Merino Crewneck. Which tells me that she probably didn’t know what Merino is–that it's a type of wool. When you don’t know what the words mean, you don’t really know what you’re getting. Now, one of two things happened–either she kept that wool sweater and wasted her wardrobe building resources–her time, money and closet space, and added another piece of “not great” clothing to her wardrobe, which makes style harder. Or she returned it, and it cost her time and money and effort, and maybe even added proof to her belief that online shopping is unpredictable and unreliable.. That’s a belief that keeps you from making an effort. But was that the internet’s fault, or the top’s fault? In this case, I’d say no. 

Getting what you expect is one part of shopping, but the other side is finding what you want in the first place. I’ve said this before, but one of the greatest things about the style and fashion era we’re living in is that anything you want or need is out there, and that’s true. There are clothes to fit all bodies and all styles—but you need to be able to find them, and as good as google and AI are, you can’t put in “top that is made from that one fabric I like” or “skirt like the one my friend wore that one time” and find it. When you have the words to search what you’re looking for, getting the wardrobe you want gets a whole lot easier and faster. 

I think this is an advantage of online shopping–It’s difficult to search stores by words, right? But that doesn’t mean a strong vocabulary doesn’t help you in traditional situations, too.

The second reason it’s important to speak the language is that it helps you communicate with other professionals. Many years ago, even before I started dressing women, my sister gave me a dress that didn’t work for her. It had the potential to be great for me, but I could tell it needed some tailoring. I took it in, and I was trying to explain what I wanted–which was, leave the bottom half like it was, but just take in the top a little bit. The tailor and I didn’t speak each other’s language–both English and clothing, which made communicating what I wanted very difficult. But what if I had been able to say “can you make this swing dress little more a-line?” I probably wouldn’t have picked up my dress a week later to find it had been turned into more of a sheath.  And I don’t know, maybe that’s not a thing that even can be done–I don’t sew–but I do know that my lack of technical words didn’t help anything. 

The right words come in handy when you’re shopping in stores, too. I know my example of the sweet but clueless sales person doesn’t demonstrate that point very well, but in most cases, you’re going to do a whole lot better than if you just try to describe what you’re looking for. 

Finally, having a strong style vocabulary makes you more confident in your style abilities. Have you ever traveled to a country where you don’t speak the language? Its a very different experience than going to a place where you’re fluent, right? You have more fun, and feel like you can really immerse yourself in the culture, vs having to stay on the fringes and only choose safe options. Its the same with style. Speaking the language makes you feel like a style local–you’re on the inside. This even applies to things like trends. When you hear that palazzo jeans are trending, or cone heels are dated, its a whole lot easier to know if the things in your wardrobe are looking current when you know what the words mean. 

Hopefully you’re seeing why having a good style vocabulary is important, so let’s talk about what what you need to know. 
 I hate to disappoint you, but I am not going to share all the style words you should know. For years, I’ve had women ask me to put together a guide of style words, but that guide already exists. It’s called the dictionary. Now, it does include a lot of other words, I get that. But in the time it would take you to look up a word in the Everyday Style Vocabulary Guide, you can google it…so I’m not going to define style words to you for the next 12 hours. Instead, I’m going to share 8 categories of words you should be on the lookout for, and start to get to know, as well as share some examples so you can get an idea of what we’re talking about. 

The first one–probably the biggest one–is basic clothing silhouettes. This is the overall outline, or architecture of clothes, and there are so many of these that I’ve broken them into subcategories

You’ve got dresses and skirts–like sheath, aline-fit & flare, pencil, wrap, midi, maxi, swing, tiered

Bottoms-like wide leg, barrel leg, jogger, palazzo, mid rise, low rise,cropped, capri, bermuda

Tops–tunic, cropped, boxy, blouse, shell, tank, popover

Layering pieces- bomber, trench, duster, boyfriend, longline, double breasted….and that’s just a fraction of all the silhouette words out there. What’s important to know about this, is that pieces can be more than one. For example, you could have a pencil midi skirt, or a cropped boxy popover shell–thats 4. 

Second is Necklines–Necklines are so important to how your face, neck, shoulders, bust and midsection look, so you should know the difference between, crew, scoop, cowl, turtleneck, cowlneck, v-neck, split vneck….and those are just to get started

#3 is fits. We touched on this in the last episode when I said that one of the biggest mistakes women make with fit, is trying to fix fit with fit–remember that? In that episode, we were focused on fit meaning whether or not something is the proper size for you, rather than how close it’s supposed to sit on your body. This time, we’re talking about that second fit. So here, we are focused on words like body-con, fitted, tailored, relaxed, oversized, which makes a big difference in getting what you’re expecting

Category #4 is Sleeve types. Every month in the Style Circle, we have a monthly focus. It’s one way we break the huge topic of learning everything there is to know about style into manageabe, easy to implement chunks and create some easy, intentional practice–because as we all know, learning without practicing doesn’t actually do anything right? Anyway, a couple of months ago, we were focusing on our shoulders, and one of the most important aspects of dressing your shoulders–whether you want to create balance between your upper and lower halves, or simply maintain it–is choosing the right sleeve. Our members were shocked at the impact this little detail has, so do yourself a favor and learn the difference between a vertical, raglan, dolman and drop shoulder–but don’t stop there. Those are just where or the sleeve is attached to the body of a garment. Then there’s the sleeve shape itself–cap, puff, bishop, bell, flutter and more. 

Category #5 is another big one–and that’s fabrics, and going along with the actual fabric, are finishes

Knowing what fabrics are, what they do, what they feel like will help you avoid SO many mis-steps. And in my opinion it’s an area that we think we know a whole lot better than we do. So let’s get into it.

Fabrics are what the item is actually made of–linen, chiffon, silk, polyester, wool, ponte, cotton, and on and on and on. What gets a little tricky is that some of the words we think of as fabric words aren’t actually fabrics–they’re construction words–how the fabric is made–like twill. You can have a cotton twill, or a silk twill. They’re all going to feel different, but they’re going to have the characteristic diagonal weaving pattern of twill. Satin is another one–that’s actually a weave, not a fabric. You can have silk satin or polyester satin, or even cotton satin, that you probably know better as sateen. I know I told you I wasn’t going to give you a list of all the words you need to know-because there are just so many, but I am going to give you two. You need to know the difference in fabric between knits and wovens. These are both construction words. You can turn cotton into a knit fabric, and it’s going to behave like a tshirt, or a sweater, or a sweatshirt–stretchy and less structured, or you can turn it into a woven fabric and end up with things like oxford cloth or even canvas–no stretch, and more structured. For a million years, I’ve been saying “Knits cling, and wovens glide”, but if you don’t know what that means, you’re missing out on one of the easiest ways to dress your body shape best. 

Finishes are the way that fabric is treated in the manufacturing process–like stonewashed denim, or garment-dying vs yarn dying. You’ll see brushed, or sueded fabrics, coated fabrics..enzyme washes–these are all examples of how the fabrics are manipulated to create certain looks, feels, or both. 

Moving on to #6 which is prints and patterns. I know you know polka dots and stripes, but what about foulard? Do you know liberty florals from ditsy florals. Even plaid comes in a ton of varieties–houndstooth, windowpane, tartan, glen plaid, gingham. I remember shopping with a client once and she told me she hated plaid. So as I was pulling things for her to try on, I avoided plaids. However, when she met me in the fitting room with things she wanted to try, she had an armload of plaid. I said, I thought you hated plaid, and she said “this isn’t plaid”. It was, just not the plaid she had in her head, and that’s fine–but in my head, I avoided all of them–we just weren’t speaking the same language.

Category #7 is an offshoot of #1 and that is accessory types and silhouettes. When you’re talking about bags, you’ve got satchels, hobos, cross bodies, totes, clutches, bucket bags, top handles, shoulder bags, north south vs east west and lots lots more. We could be here all day with shoes, because not only do you have the general silhouette, like loafer, sneaker flat..there are heel types, toe shapes, sole styles, and all the combinations of those elements. When it comes to jewelry, each item, like earrings or necklaces has different styles–drop earrings, chandeliers, studs, cuff bracelet bangle bracelet, etcetera etcetera etcetera.

Finally, category 8 is design details. These are the adjustments made during or after the construction of a garment to change the way it looks or fits. I’m talking about words like gathering, ruching, draping, pleating, smocking, shirring, or true construction words like godet, yoke, dart. Then there are the decorative terms like applique, or laser cut.

As you can see, there are a million style words out there, but hopefully breaking them into categories makes it a little more digestible than trying to just learn all the words. And really, what’s more important than knowing ALL the words is being able to use the words to find what you want, which we talked about in the beginning. 

But even if you did learn all the words, and you had the best style vocabulary in the world, there would still be a couple of challenges, and I want to talk about those briefly before we talk about how to boost your style vocabulary.

The first challenge is that to retailers, and influencers and brands, words can sometimes be pretty meaningless. I know I just spent time telling you how important they are, and I stand by that 100%, but the truth is, brands play fast and loose with definitions. Recently I was looking at some shoes, and something was called a moccasin, and I was like–really? Because that looks like a loafer to me. Moccasins, by definition, are made from one piece of leather, including the sole and the sides. Loafers, on the other hand, have a separate, distinct sole and heel. Now, did I send the company an an “actually, these are loafers, not moccasins” email? NO, because that’s annoying and it’s not going to change anything anyway. Its enough for me to know the difference, and besides, this is how you learn other words to incorporate in your searches. I would never have thought to search for loafers if I was really looking for mocs, or vice versa, but it does expand the search. Use it as a positive. 

Some of the confusion comes from a lack of standard definitions. How many inches is a crop top? I don’t know, and I’m guessing Ann Taylor and Forever 21 don’t agree on the definition either, you know what I mean? Sometimes it’s subjective

And some confusion comes from whether a brand is using a generic definition, like “cropped pant” or a more specific term like ankle pants or capri pants. Again, for me at least, these things aren’t an issue…it’s just more search terms to help you find what you’re looking for, and I wouldn’t waste my energy being mad that people aren’t using the right definition. If you know what things are, and can use your knowledge to make style easier, that’s all that matters. Don’t waste energy on people not being as style savvy as you are.  

The other challenge to style vocabulary IS a big deal though, and it’s knowing how to use the words to get what you want. Sure, you can know what a knit vs a woven is, and you can even know that knits cling and wovens glide, but if you don’t know which one is better for your body, it’s not really that helpful. That’s a theme that runs through every one of the 8 categories we talked about. It doesn't matter if you know what every neckline or sleeve type, or earring style is called if you don’t know which ones are best for you, or even which you like the best. Knowing the words without being able to use them in a practical way to make style easier, and your results more successful is just useless knowledge. 

Having the knowledge of what you like, and what you feel best in, along with having the knowledge of what those things are called is really where the magic happens. 
 I have this theory that women know what looks good on them. I’ve seen it happen thousands of times in mirrors when a woman puts on something that looks nice, and her face just lights up, sh steps a little closer to the mirror–she knows she looks good. That’s not the problem. The problem is knowing WHY it looks good in the first place and knowing HOW to recreate it and find it. Without that information, you’re looking at a lifetime of trial and error, starting from scratch every time you shop or get dressed–which I’m guessing is how a lot of women, maybe even you, approach style. And it’s hard, and time consuming. Having the knowledge of what to look for and how to find it is how style becomes easy.

Not only does knowing what to look for and how to find it save lots of time and money, but it keeps you from those self-esteem spirals where you’re convinced nothing looks good on you, and you’re just not meant to be stylish, and maybe you should just tell your friends you’re not feeling well and stay home in your sweatpants… Have you ever been there? I have, and those moments feel terrible. To me, avoiding those situations by knowing a few necklines that alwasys look good, and a couple of go-to dress or pant silhouettes seems like a pretty good investment of your time. 

So, where do you start? How do you learn the thousands of style words out there? First, you start by giving yourself credit for  what you already know. No one listening to this show is starting from zero. I bet you know more from each of the 8 categories than you even realize, so that’s good. 

A good test of your knowledge is to describe the pieces you’re putting on each day. How many terms can you name in the outfit you’re wearing today? Can you name the silhouette, fit, fabric, pattern, print, and so on and so on. 

Then, when you’re looking at clothes or accessories online, get in the habit of reading ALL the words in the title and description, and if you come across any word you don’t know, or a word you think you know, but you’re not 100% sure, look it up. Put it in the ol google machine. It’s nice because you already have a visual right in front of you, but if you really want to turn up the learning, after you get the simple definition for something, do this–google the difference between “the new term” and something similar you already know. 
 Here’s an example–a search for what are palazzo pants gives me “loose, wide leg pants typically worn by women”. But, what’s the difference between palazzo pants and wide leg pants gives me this: Palazzo pants are a specific type of wide-leg pant defined by their extremely wide, flowing, and dramatic cut, often with a lightweight, drapey fabric that creates an elegant, skirt-like silhouette. In contrast, wide-leg pants are a broader category of pants that flare out from the waist or hips but can have a more controlled or varied width and may be made of more structured fabrics, creating a less dramatic and more tailored look

This helps you USE the information. 

There are other things you can do, too. When you’re shopping in stores, read the label and feel the fabric, making the connection between the two. If you’re pretty good at this already, feel the item and see if you can guess the fabric content. This is a little game I play all the time. It reinforces my knowledge and makes it easier to envision the fabric when shopping online. 

When you’re in a store, challenge yourself to spot and name 4 different necklines, or 3 different dress sihlouettes. Being able to name things in the wild is more difficult than online because you don’t have words and pictures next to each other, but it’s great practice. 

The reality is, you’re not going to sit down and read a style vocabulary guide, or do style word flashcards–you’re a busy woman and that’s not on anyone’s priority list, but expanding your vocabulary is incredibly helpful, so the trick is to just work it in to things you’re already doing. You’re already on a stores website–just look up the words you don’t know. You’re already at Target, spot 3 dress styles. Don’t make becoming more fluent in style  a to-do item that never gets to-done.

Let’s recap and wrap up with homework, Shall we?

Here’s what we talked about. Speaking style fluently makes you more confident, saves you time and money, and helps you get the wardrobe you want with less struggle. There are a million and one words to know, but that doesn’t mean you have to sit down and study like you’re taking the SAT’s. Start with what you know, and look for ways to expand your vocabulary in the activities you’re already doing–mentally describe the clothes you put on each day, read item names and descriptions when you’re shopping online, looking up anything you’re not 100% confident in, and challenge yourself when you’re in a store that sells clothes, especially with fabrics.

But, let go of the idea that these words have rigid definitions that everyone adheres to. Rather than getting frustrated, look at it as an opportunity to expand your search word. And never forget the the magic of style vocabulary happens when you know WHAT looks best on you so you know HOW to create it. Just knowing words isn’t helpful. 

With that said, your homework for this episode is to do one of the vocab building exercises we talked about. If you’re pressed for time, describe to yourself the clothes you’re putting on in the morning. Try to hit at least 4 of the 8 categories we talked about today for each item. If you’re on a website, read some descriptions. Try to find at least one term you don’t know and look itup. Compare it to a similar word you do know. Or, if you’re in a store, challenge yourself to identify different silhouettes or just focus on feeling fabrics and reading content labels. In the next 2 weeks, try to add one or two words to your style vocabulary. You’ll have more confidence and be one step closer to making style easy. 

That’s it for this episode of the Everyday Style School. Thanks for spending time with me today. If you’re ready to make style easier and more fun, (and figure out what looks best so you really know what to search for) come join me in the Style Circle. It’s where you’ll get all of our classes, capsule guides and style tools, plus the support to actually use them. Become a member today at youreverydaystyle.com. I’ll see you next time–and until then, stay stylish!