Jennifer Mackey-Mary: All season long we’ve been talking about the fundamentals of style, and all season long I’ve invited you to submit your questions about the things we covered. Today I’m answering your questions about the fundamentals–and a few other things you sent in. Let’s get started.

Hello gorgeous, welcome back to the Everyday Style School, the show that teaches you everything your mom never did about getting dressed.  I'm your host, Jennifer Mackey Mary. After 25 years of dressing women with real bodies, budgets, and lives, I know great style isn't about following one-size-fits-all advice - it's about learning what works for you.

Friends, we have reached the end of our fall semester. If you’ve been keeping up, you’ve learned about fit, color, proportion, body shape, style vocabulary, and the 10 personal style fundamentals you need to know. Hopefully, you’ve kept these principles in mind when getting dressed, or shopping, and maybe even done a little bit of intentional practice. I’m not naive enough to say that after these 7 or 8 episodes, you’ve got all the style knowledge you need, but you now know what the fundamentals are.

I thought it would be fun to wrap up the semester with a Q&A episode. Our style circle members have the opportunity to ask any style question they have twice a month, and I figured you might like the opportunity, too. It’s always fun to see what’s on your mind, and it’s helpful to know what your challenges are.

We received lots of questions and comments–thank you to everyone who just let us know you love the show–I appreciate it, and for the sake of time, I had to narrow the questions down a bit. If your question isn’t answered in this episode it’s most likely because it’s a topic we don’t talk about–looking at you, men’s clothes, or I needed more information to give an answer of any value, or it was very similar to another one that was asked.

Lianne from Perth Australia asked: How do I tell the difference between warm or cool colors–I’m confused by things like warm pinks and cool pinks. How do I know which it is?

Great question Lianne–this is something that was asked a few times.–this really gets down to undertones, and like I said in the color theory episode, undertones are the hardest thing to “see”. And honestly, it comes down to simply practicing, and training your eyes to see it–it takes time, but there are a couple of ways to make it easier to identify which it is. First, compare two colors. It can be hard to tell the undertone, saturation, value, whatever of a single color on it’s own, but once you put it next to a similar one, it’s much easier to see. So let’s say you’re in a store, and you can’t tell if that green sweater is warm or cool. Grab another green item and compare them. Sometimes, that’s all it takes, and you go “oh, I get it”. The second question I like to ask myself is “would this look better with brown or black”. If you’re in a store, and they have something brown and something black, take the item in question, and put it next to those things. If the color looks crisper, clearer, or more vibrant against black, chances are, it has cool undertones. If it looks richer and more harmonious with brown, it usually has warm undertones. The other thing you can do is imagine the color is on the color wheel. Maybe it’s green, so it’s on the little green wedge–the question is though–which direction is the color facing–is it facing toward yellow? Then it’s a warm green. Is it looking at blue? Cool green. This takes practice, and it isn’t easy, but if you ever really can’t tell, google “warm vs cool/…whatever color”, and then just look at the image results. It’s not cheating–it’s a helpful tool to help train your brain. Eventually, you won’t need it, and the best way to speed up the learning process is to do it more often. If this is something you’re working on, look at color everywhere–if you’re standing in line at the store, look at what people are wearing and decide if that red or purple, or whatever is warm or cool. If you wait until you’re in a store, or looking at a website, it will take a lot longer, so play a little game with yourself and start to identify undertones wherever you go. Thanks for the question, Lianne.

Next up, we have Julie from Bethesda, Maryland who said “Thank you for this series–it’s helped me understand where I’ve been struggling. My question is about body shape and proportions. I discovered I have a short torso, which explains a lot. However, I love high rise pants–is there a way to wear them without feeling like I’m belting my boobs as you say”. Great question, Julie, and I’m so glad this semester has helped you–and yes, you can wear high waisted pants even if you have a short torso. I guess my questions to you would be–what is it that you like about high rise pants, and is “belting your boobs, as I put it”, a concern you had before, or did you pick up something to worry about? If you liked high rise before, and didn’t have a problem with them, continue on–don’t go looking for challenges where there weren’t any before. Now, if you DID feel like your pants were simply too high for your torso, my recommendation is to look for pants with a highER rise. Not all high rises are created equal–I’ve seen some high rises that are 10.5 inches, and some that are 13–and on a short torso, that 2 and a half inches can make a big difference. What I’d recommend doing is grab a pair of jeans and measure the rise–then put them on your body and see if it’s too high or just right–if it’s too high, where would you like the rise to end…figure out approximately what that rise would be, and then head online and read product descriptions to find your perfect fit. Look for shorter highrises, and higher mid-rises–one of them is bound to be perfect.

Our next question is from Terri from Manteno, Illinois, who asked “How do I, a plus size woman, shop in an area where the mall doesn’t have any major stores and the other stores carry very limited inventory, ie. Target, Lane Bryant, Walmart, Old Navy and Kohl’s. I am a curvy girl that never seems to find the right fit and have bought and returned SO many items online”

Fantastic question Terri, and I think you’ve identified an issue a lot of women are dealing with–especially women in specialty sizes like plus, petite, and tall, but increasingly every women as brick and mortar options shrink as the internet expands. So here’s something I’ve come across in my years of dressing women, that i call the fourth dimension of fashion–and basically what that means is that in their quest to solve a problem, women look for a solution that simply doesnt exist. I remember the client I worked with who wanted m to solve her summer wardrobe challenges, but didn’t want pants, shorts, dresses, skirts, jumpsuits, or cropped pants–and I was left like What else is there–I can’t invent another type of garment, right?  It’s the same thing in your case…the options for procuring clothes are instore, or online. I mean, I guess you could sew your own, but if you could, I’m guessing you wouldn’t have submitted the question. Point being though–that’s all there is, you’re not missing a secret way to buy clothes. Which really means that the real question is –how do you do one of the two realistic options with better results–since you’ve already identified the only options. 

Let’s talk about in-store shopping first. I’m a big fan of instore shopping, because you get to feel the clothes, and try them on, and it keeps you from settling for things that aren’t great just to avoid the hassle of returns. BUT, I’m also a big fan of shopping less frequently, and buying more each time–which naturally leads to a more cohesive wardrobe, and fewer impulse purchases, one offs, clearance deals that aren’t really deals–you get the point. When you buy more at one time, you automatically start thinking–oh, this goes with this, and I could wear that with that, and I need something to wear under that jacket. IT gives you a better wardrobe.

And I’m saying this because maybe a strategy for you could be to make the trip to an area with better shopping options 4 times a year. Now, if you lived 8 hours from a mall, I wouldn’t recommend this as a viable option, BUT the google machine tells me your city is about an hour from Woodfield mall outside of chicago-which definitely has better options, and it’s not like you have to get a hotel room to go there. This approach requires some planning and effort, but in the end, spending a saturday each quarter updating your wardrobe and then being done for the season will save you a ton of time and money in the long run, and you’ll be able to finish your wardrobe faster.

If that’s not your cup of tea, you’re going to have to get good at online shopping. Online shopping will always be a bit of a gamble. No matter how good you are, there are variables beyond your control, and that’s just part of the deal. So if you want to go the online route, first, make peace with that, and make it your goal to lower your return percentage, not eliminate it completely. And how do you do that? Well, I’ll tell ya. The first thing is to get to know a few brands really really well, rather than taking your chances with new stores and new brands all the time. Start with 2-3 stores and get to know their styles, their cuts, their sizing before branching out. Then, read reviews like a detective. The goal of reading reviews isn’t to see if everyone liked an item or not. It’s to see if it’s going to work well FOR YOU. I was online shopping at anthropologie earlier today, and you can filter reviews by body shape–one of the choices was “hips narrower than shoulders”. Yep, that’s me. So instead of knowing if 200 women with hips wider than their shoulders liked the Gemini twofer dress, I just looked at the women who are shaped like me to see what they thought. Beyond body shape, look for information like what size people normally wear, and what they bought–that’s more telling than Fits true to size–and even read the bad reviews. Could be someone with an opposite body shape hated it, but it’s perfect for you. Look at any pictures posted in detail–look for fit cues on bodies that are shaped like yours, and bodies that are the opposite. If the photos show the pants pulling across everyone with curvy hips, and you have curvy hips, that could be a red flag…but if your hips aren’t curvy, that probably isn’t a concern.  Finally, get in the habit of buying a couple of sizes until you know the brand well. Yes, you still have to do the return, but you cut out the part where you have to reorder it, wait the second time around, blah blah blah–it just speeds up the process and gets you closer to not settling for things that aren’t great.

Neither approach is better or worse–they both have their pros and cons–but the bottom line is, whichever strategy you pick, there are ways to make it easier and more successful. Happy shopping terri, and I wish you luck.

Next up we have Kim from Alburquerque New Mexico, who asked “I’m a teacher and on my feet all day. can I wear the more dressy, sleek sneakers to work with loose fit jeans and a button down shirt? Can I wear these in some of the brighter colors, even with a white or black pullover sweater or shirt? If so, would nice sneakers work better with ankle length or full length jeans? Light or dark wash?”

So many questions Kim–let’s get into them. First, can you wear the more dressy, sleek sneakers to work with loose fit jeans and a button down shirt. Well that’s a great question kim, and honestly, I don’t know, can you? Is that within the school dress code and culture and image you want to project? If so, then yes, you absolutely can. If not, I wouldn’t recommend it. Now, If you’re asking if you’ll like that look, I honestly couldn’t tell you.

The next question is can I wear these in some of the brighter colors, even with a white or black pullover sweater or shirt? And on this one, I can’t think of a reason why you couldn’t. I feel like you’re asking “will they go together”, and as much as I’d love to definitely answer that question, it’s impossible to tell if two things I’ve never seen will work together. On the surface–colorful sneakers and a neutral top works, but there’s more that goes into it than just colors going together—the styles, the materials, levels of formality. That’s a question you’d just have to decide on a case by case basis. Your last questions are “if so, would nice sneakers work better with ankle length or full length jeans–light or dark wash?”, and again without seeing anything, nice sneakers go with both lengths and both washes…but some sneakers are going to look better with light wash, while some look better with dark wash. Some toe shapes look strange with full length jeans, and some sneakers look a little chunky to wear with ankle length.

This is a long way of saying, without seeing the actual jeans and sneakers.  I’m not much help. But here’s the help I can give you, that I think is an important lesson for everyone to take away, which is why I’m answering the question, even though I can’t really answer the question. My style circle members already know what I’m going to say–they hear it enough–say it with me ladies–You have to put it on your body. Just put it on your body, and see- do I like this? If yes, and the outfit is appropriate for you workplace, then wear it. If you don’t like it, don’t wear it. Figure out what you don’t like and change it up, and try again. So often we want to know that it’s going to be right before we even try, but until you try, you won’t know what looks right. This is also a good reminder that not all sneakers are created equal. All jeans, even all light wash, or all dark wash, aren’t the same. The best, and dare I say only, way to know if somethings going to work is just try. Thanks for the question Kim.

Next up is Nancy from Annapolis Maryland–one of my favorite places. Her question is “I’ve lost 35 pounds!  How do I know if an item of clothing is worth altering?  Is there a general rule of thumb?”

I LOOOOVE this question, so thank you for asking. Is there a general rule of thumb regarding alterations? If there is, I’ve never heard it, so I’ll just share my approach. There’s a word in this question that is so important–did you all hear it when I read the question? If you said “worth”, you’re right. The reason I love this question so much is that I love talking about value and worth–and this gives me the opportunity to get on that soapbox once again. I know we just talked about this in the last episode, but just to refresh your memory, worth is about value, right? And if you remember, price and value are not the same. Price is objective–it’s just how much something costs like, those pants will be 25 dollars to hem. That’s price. Value on the other hand, is completely subjective. If those are your favorite pants that you would be devastated to lose, $25 sounds like a pretty good deal. If you couldn’t care less about those pants, and you kind of feel terrible in them, $25 to hem them is a lot of money. The price for both was the same, but the value, or the worth of the alterations was completely different. You with me? That’s how I decide if something is worth tailoring or not. Not “how much will the alterations cost”, but “what is the value of the item to me”, and will it be more valuable if I invest in alterations. That’s my philosophy on tailoring, but let’s get practical about it and give some questions to ask yourself. The first question is “do I LOVE this?” If yes, it goes in the take to the tailor pile. If no, I wouldn’t. The second question would be “Can I easily replace this?” I might love my banana republic factory timeless tees for layering, but if they got too big, I’d just order a couple of new ones. They’re not special, or rare, or hard to find. If you can replace it easily, and it wasn’t an investment, i probably wouldn’t bother tailoring. If you can’t replace it easy, or it was an investment, take it to the tailor. Another thing to ask yourself is about your priorities–some people are in the “just donate and rebuy” camp, and others are in the reduce, reuse, recycle camp–and if you’re committed to not buying more than you absolutely need to, taking it to the tailor is a great way to live that value.

Once you’ve gone through your too big clothes, and you have a pile of clothes you love, that are not easy to replace, and or you’re committed to reusing as long as possible, head to the tailor and ask what can be done and how much it will cost. There are some things that simply can’t be altered easily or well– like anything having to do with structured shoulders–and there are things that simply will cost more than is worth it to you, and that’s ok. You might all of a sudden decide–yeah, it’s not that special or rare.

The one thing I want to caution you against is using the price of the item to determine whether or not it’s worth tailoring. One of my best alterations investments was on a $7 clearance top from old navy. It was perfect in every way, except the sleeves and body were a little long, so I had it altered. I spent probably 5  times the cost of the top tailoring it, but it was worth every penny. I wore that top to death, which I never would have if I hadn’t altered it. Point is, the cost of the alterations is a factor, but the most important thing to consider is the value of the item…and that, my friend, is something only you can answer. I hope that helps.

Next up is a question from Rachel in Lancaster, PA who said “Hi Jen, I wear a lot of workout and athlesuire wear. With the styles being shorter on top it's hard to find styles that look modern and still cover my midsection. I don't want my belly out... What modern tops do you recommend to go with leggings or joggers to look modern and yet not let your stomach out?! Thank you!

Rachel, I gotta be honest, I wish you were in the Style Circle and we could have a back and forth conversation in Style Coaching, because I have questions. Namely, where are you looking, and what are you looking for? The reason I ask this is that when I read your question, i did a quick search of some activewear stores, and on every single one I found plenty of options that cover the midsection. I looked at Kohls, athleta, lululemon, Target, Amazon, Vuori, and fabletics. The only one that I was like, dang, there really is nothing with tummy coverage was fabletics–and even that one had a few. Cropped tops are absolutely dominating, but they’re not the only thing. So I wondered if your challenge is where you’re looking…or, what you’re looking for. Now maybe you’re looking for really long, tunic tops that cover your rear, and those are definitely not as prevalent, but you can still find some.

Then I started to wonder if the question is really more about being modern, and if you’ve associated crop tops with looking modern–and they are, but they’re not the only thing that looks modern or current, so if that look doesn’t work for you, there are plenty of other ways to look current, modern and polished. A couple of ways that come to mind are first of all, making sure the fit is on point–not going oversized or sloppy, and if you’re wearing more voluminous pants like joggers or wide legs, going more fitted in the top. The other way is color and matching sets. I feel like I’ve been talking about the combo of black pants and a colorful top a lot lately–and there’s nothing wrong with it, but it doesn't always look intentional on it’s own, or read modern without something like a noticeable silhouette–like a crop top. If you’re going to do black–do all black , but also consider doing a monochromatic outfit that’s not black. I was on quince and they have some really pretty green joggers with a matching full length tee.

Also, updated shoes go a long way in looking modern.

The last thing I want to point out is that there’s a big difference between what’s trending on a website and what women are really wearing in the gym. I know there are plenty of women wearing crop tops or just a sports bra in the gym, but I also know that there are plenty of women who aren’t. The most important thing is that you wear clothes that make you feel good about yourself, and support your goals. But I promise you, what you’re looking for is out there–you might just need to expand your search to other stores, or shift your definition of what looking modern means.

Ok, last question, which comes from Anne in Santa Clara, California, who asked “I’m trying to shake up my very neutral wardrobe and add more color, but I feel like the more I add, the less things go together. How can I have a colorful wardrobe that’s still mix and match? For example, I’d like a colorful handbag, but I don’t want to change my bag all the time. What color would you recommend?

Good question, anne! This is a question I’ve heard a lot over the years, and the key really is staying within a color family. One of the biggest benefits of knowing your color season is that, for the most part, all of the colors in your color palette naturally go together, so you can add anything, and they’ll still work. Its when you’re adding some dark cool colors like burgundy, and some light warm colors like coral, and some muted colors like rusty brown, and some very bright colors like hot pink that you start to get a wardrobe that doesn’t mix and match–and then you’re really locked in to just wearing jeans or black pants with all the colorful tops. But if you stay dark and cool, like burgundy, dark green, and navy or light and warm like coral, apple green, and golden yellow or muted or bright, you get the idea–you find you have a lot more mix and match options. I’m not saying that every piece will go together, but at least they’re all in the same ballpark, and your wardrobe will naturally become more cohesive and versatile. You don’t have to wear your best colors, either–that’s just an easy way to know what colors are in the palette. You can create your own palette of colors you love that have similar qualities. The same thing goes for handbags–just find a color in your palette that goes with most things. Personally, I don’t like to change my bags very often, I’m lazy like that, so I’m a big fan of a neutral bag–but, to avoid the boring bag trap, I go for neutrals that aren’t black–whether that’s chocolate brown, ivory, navy, camel. Honestly, just shaking up your neutrals can have as big an effect as adding more color does, and it’s a little safer, especially if you want to invest in a bag or want something that truly goes with everything. But if you want an actual color, choose the least exciting one from your defined color palette.

That’s all for this episode–and this semester–of the everyday Style School. I want to thank everyone who submitted questions. If your question didn’t get answered because I needed more information, we do Style Coaching twice a month inside the Style Circle–you can ask anything AND you can submit pictures for outfit or body shape feedback. Come join us.

Thank you for spending time with me today. The Everyday Style School is officially on winter break, but we’ve already started working on the Spring Semester, and I’m super excited to share it with you.

Until then, I’d love to stay connected. I’m working on a couple of things you won’t want to miss, so if you’re not already on our email list, head to the link in the shownotes and sign up for The Thread–it’s our every-other-week newsletter sharing product picks, style tips, event invitations and more. 

I’ll see you soon–and until then, stay stylish!