Ep 13 – Everyone Loves Candy Gag Reel Transcript(A strong clap can be heard and then silence followed by an intake of breath leading Nicole into laughter followed by Arabella)

I hurt my hands really bad.

(Arabella still laughing) Right, I'm gonna.

I forgot everything in that moment

You did.

I was like are you going to speak?

(Nicole laughs)

Yes

What is happening now?

We're not going to change a thing(Clap)

No, we're not.

Welcome

I'm so sorry(Arabella dissolves into laughter and perhaps madness followed by Nicole) I'm so sorry

Are we high?

I don't remember taking anything.

I don't remember taking, well apart from my usual regime but.

You made that sound so bad.

My usual regime.

She means proper, like things that are prescribed to her, not MDMA.

Yep, medifi, yes, no, no

My usual MDMA of the day

Prescribed medifi, medific, medifications apparently

Medifications?

(Both are laughing) Right.

Oh my Lord, what is wrong?

The sometimes good submissive a, a, a, a, a,(Nicole laughs as Arabella starts to turn it into a tune joined by Nicole) Ayeee ado ba da bo di bo di (Sung)(They laugh)

The sometimes good submissive mehh.

And the sometimes good pronouncer Bella.

(They laugh)

It's very touch and go most of the time.

And that is where we left you last week.

Now for Episode 13(An unusually long pause)

Everybody Loves Candy.

(Said so weirdly that Arabella laughs along with Nicole who is trying to speak) I also forgot that I had to say it, I was not prepared.

That was such.

I was like oh, come on, you made this whole thing about you wanting to say it.

I gave it to you; I served it on a silver platter for you.

(Nicole has laughed her way through this) You're right, let me try again.

(It goes quiet until the both start to laugh again) What?

The drugs that we didn't take are really kicking in right now.

(Nicole

Yeah, they are.

Oh, it's back again.

(Both still laughing)

Bella, it's your line, you absolute munchkin.

(Both laughing)

Oh shit, it's me isn't it?

Oh my god!

Wow Okay.

“Where are the Millers?” I asked looking around.

“They went home after some girls, after” They went home.

After some girls, Fuck my life.

(Both laugh)

After some girls.

Oh, your mic Bella!

Agh!

What?

I didn't do anything.

No, I know it's not you it's the freaking microphone.

Do I need to turn you up on my phone?

What is the deal?

“They went home with some girls after the show” After.

No, he's not from Boston.

“Clockwise, dammit”(Nicole wheezes a laugh as Arabella cackles) That was, that came out, that came out very southern.

Clockwise dammit!

(Imitating Nicoles accidental southern accent)

That came out very southern, I'm sorry

Dang nabbit those darn chickens at it again!

They are apparently.

“Clockwise, dammit.”(Arabella cackles) We're just gonna have to accept that Carter is actually a Texan.

(Arabella quietly laughs)

Yep, yep.

“It's like” neuh blblblbbl ughnugh (Another series of noises that writing can’t explain)(Both laugh)

Surprise line, surprise line!(More laughter and what sounds like the mic being knocked off a table…just chaos really)“Is that okay, Carter?” Oh, that's still you.

“Is that a?” Oh, it is how bizarre.

We need to put that in the line together.

“I pulled the line”(Nicole starts to laugh as she speaks followed by Arabella) Like I would put it on Instagram, like who do you think I am?

I know right?!

Like wow, no, I would get in trouble.

“Noah dared.

Noah dared him to kiss you.” Zander informed me.

(Said so weirdly) Why did I say it so weird?

(Arabella laughs as she tries to speak)

I don't know.

Well, because he's a bit drunk now.

So that's how he speaks when he's drunk.

(Nicole laughs)

Apparently“No to the coercion.

If she doesn't want to…(Unreasonably long pause) she doesn't want to”(Nicole laughs)

Wow!(Arabella joins in) If she doesn't want to, five years later, she doesn't want to.

She doesn't want to I lost where I was for a second.

I was like, oh shit, where have I gone?

“Admiring talent.

See (BEEP) gets it” oh.

(Nicole wheezes into a laugh)

Yep, yeah

Read it.

Come on.

That's the first time that's happened.

(Arabella croaks a laugh) I've been really good for like 13 episodes and there it goes.

(Both laugh)“Jason hit the light switch, and the diminished light allowed us to see a little clearer”

Not diminished

Dimmish.

A diminished light.

What kind of musical light is it that it has diminished towards?

(Both cracking up)

I know

Oh gosh.

“So, what made you come on this tour?”“What do you mean?”(Arabella scoffs a laugh) What?

Was it too much?

It was too intense.

Sorry, no, it was a what made you come… on this tour(Nicole laughs)

You're channelling Christopher Walken(Nicole laughs again) So, what made you come,…on this tour?

(Imitating his speech style)(Nicole laughs some more)

“Plus, we all sacrifice something along the way.

Why not yourself?

It's.

As it's pretty”(Nicole laughs as she tries to speak) No, sorry, that's not what he said.

Wooww!

That is not what he said at all.

(Both losing it) Sacrifice yo, Sacrifice yourself

Why not yourself?

(Almost silently laughing because they just can’t…) So sorry, that's gag reel.

That's not going anywhere near the real story.

Wooww!

Pekep, percaps?

Percaps, percaps,(Arabella takes a moment before trying again) Percaps(A moment of pure horror as Arabella realises, she’s still lost the word.

Nicole starts to laugh followed by Arabella) Oh fuck!

That was the nutsiest thing.

I was like looking(Nicole wheezes a laugh as she tries to get the rest out) looking right in your eyes and I could tell you were gunna(Nicole is trying to speak but the laughter is making it really hard to finish the sentence) I could tell you; I could tell you were going to say percaps again.

(Arabella is also laughing so hard she’s finding it hard to speak)

I thought, I thought I had it for a second but then I didn’t.

Percaps(Nicole wheezes a laugh again)

Perhaps perhaps, perhaps, perhaps,

(In an American accent) Perhaps.

Mmmhmmm Oh, my God.

Like yes.

He kissed me in my meh.

In my meh(Nicole laughs)

In your mouth Did he?

Kiss you in your mouth.

In my mouth, no, no, in my mech, my mech.

(More laughter) I moaned my disconsent.

“Take off your shirt.”

(Nicole laughs)

Oh yeah (Serise of strange noises)

Not your disconsent, your discontent, you munchkin.

(Nicole still laughing)

I thought I said discontent.

You said disconsent.

Ohhh.

It's okay.

Yep, we're going with it.

I'm feeling strong with it.

(Nicole laughs some more) No, I'm not.

I'm so lost.

I was leaning down on my obells, with my.

Elbows with my(Nicole laughs)

On your eyeballs?

On your eyeballs?

My eyeballs(Arabella laughs)

You were leaning down on your eyeballs?

Wow

Jesus

Okay

Wow.

Sorry, I'm getting sucked into this.

I'm like oh hello,

I know, I know, I, I, me too.

That's why I'm not even reacting.

Shush

But it doesn't.

I feel like it's intimate, it's

I was leaning down on my elbows with my bum in the air, but zuddily, but zuddily?

(Nicole laughs) But Spread your legs.

(Oddly accented) Let me try that one again Spread your legs (Trying to get the accent right but it’s worse)

Spread your legs.

I'm a cowboy!

(Mocking the accent)(Nicole cackles)

yeah

HA HAA!

My ranch wife!(Both wheezing with laughter)

Yes.

Different

Get the accent out of my head dammit!

I have no problem with that.

That is also smut I like to read, the cowboy ranch wife,

But this is not what this is.

(Nicole laughs as Arabella agrees)

This is not that.

This is not that.

Let me try and get the accent back.

Okay.

He breathed against my ears Ears?

(Nicole wheezes a laugh)

Where is his mouth?

Just, just the wha(Nicole continues to laugh as Arabella tries to speak as she laughs) I know, it's right inside my head, right between my ears

Beautiful

Take off your shirt and bra.

(With an almost Irish inflection to her accent) Shirt and bra (Repeats it with a worse accent)

(Nicole laughs as she speaks) That seems accurate, though for a Californian, so I think it works

Okay I could taste myself on his lips and my heart st-st-steeted.

(Nicole wheezes another laugh)

Yeah

My heart stuttered out apparently.

(Nicole laughs even more)

“I had to have a lot of skin grafts, but it still looks like carpet.”“Can I see,” Can I see it?

Ehhh (A ridiculous accent)

Can I see it?

(Which of course Arabella then had to try it)

“Can I see it?”

Hot diggity!(Nicole huffs a laugh)“Did you fuck Jay?” I gasped (Whispered)

“No, of course not.” (Whispered)

She said TOO quickly.

I um, okay, (Still whispered for some reason)(Nicole wheezes a laugh) Fine again.

That's what you get for drinking.

That's what you get.

(Said sillily)

That's what you get.

(Imitated) Getting it!(Both crack up with laughter)

Getting it.

I know, but.

I know, (Said weirdly)(Nicole chuckles)

I know, (Which of course gets imitated)

I know, I know, I know.

(Nicole starts to laugh) Oh my God(Arabella cracks up) I was stuck.

I know

I’m slightly losing the, losing the meaning of the word.

I walked downstairs to find the others had already had breakfast and we were on their way to the bus.

And we were on their way to the bus.

(Both start to laugh) Wow, this is such a bunch of crap.

(Nicole laughs) Of course, everybody loves candy.

Everyone loves candy.

Fuck my life!

Yeah, EVERYONE, Jesus Christ.

(Nicole laughs) How many times have we done this?

I just hit the table.

There will be a big knock.

There was, there wasn't

In the recording.

There wasn't.

I.

We both shook our heads.

Are you hungry?

Are you hungry?

(Nicole exaggerates the accent then laughs)

Are you hungry?

(Which of course Arabella mocks)

“Hey Jacob, Mark,” I smiled seeing the Miller brothers sitting with the band.

“When did you get back?”“This morning” Mike replied from Bella and I(Nicole laughs as she tries to speak) Behind Bella and I not from.

Ahh.

Let me try again.

(Still laughing and then suddenly the sounds of a mic being knocked off a table and then being caught) Oh!

Oh woww.

(Arabella laughs)(Clap)