: The : Voice : of : Dog.

: This : is : Rob : MacWolf, : your : fellow : traveler, : and : Today’s : story : is “Dear : Rabbit” : by : Str8aura, who draws : on : the : side : and : very : much : prefers : depicting : animal : subjects : over : humans, : especially : if : they : talk.

: She : would : like : you : to : know : she : is : NOT : the : Str8aura : who : draws : Pokemon, : that : was : an : unfortunate : coincidence.

: You : can : find : more : of : her : stories : on : AO3 : and : Furaffinity.Please : enjoy“Dear : Rabbit” : by : Str8auraThe : girl : on : the : other : side : of : the : door, : when : she : finally : arrived : in : a : state : of : half-awakeness, : did : not : initially : recognize : me.

: When : she : did, : her : exhaustion : seemed : to : lift : off : her : body : entirely, : allowing : her : sagged : shoulders : to : straighten : up.

: Although : many : years : my : junior, : I : was : still : a : guest : on : her : front : doorstep, : and : composed : myself : as : such.

: Being : confrontational : would : be : antithetical : for : my : purposes.

: I : recalled : her : name : to : be : Emily, : although : it : had : been : a : couple : of : years : now : since : I had : heard : her : discussed in : conversation.Clearing : my : throat, : I : spoke : gently."I'd : like : to : speak : with : my : daughter."Emily : nodded, : first : automatically, : then : unsurely.

: She : leaned : against : the : doorframe : as : she : talked : to : me : as : if : requiring : its : support : to : stay : up."Oh.

: Okay.

: I : mean, : I : can : take : you : to : her, : she : might : not-"I : gently : interrupted.

"If : she : tells : me : to : leave, : I'll : leave.

: But : please : let : me : try."She : watched : me : for : a : moment, : scanning : for : ill : intent.Then : she : nodded.

"Yeah.

: Alright.

: I'll : get : her."Emily : waved me : inside, : and : I : stepped : into : the : messy : home.

: The : clear : signs : of : young : homeownership : were : scattered : around : me, : from : yet-unpacked : belongings : crammed : into : corners : to : the : leftover : pizza : boxes : from : low : budget : christening : parties : recently : past.

: I : could : see : in : her : walk : and : sweeping : glances : that : she : was : insecure, : seeing : her : natural : environment : in : an : entirely : new : and : scrutinizing : light : now that : she : was : sharing it : with : a : stranger.I : kept : my : thoughts : to : myself, : maintaining : a : politely : demure : expression.

: Despite : this, : we : both : held : ourselves : stiff : and : unnaturally, a : steel : wall : of : tension : between : us.I : took : a : seat : at : her : kitchen : island, : and : she : excused : herself : into : another : room : down : the : hall.

: While : I : waited, : I : caught : a : familiar : face : in : a : framed : photo : above : the : sink, : collecting : dust.

: My : daughter : and : Emily, : several : years : prior, : when : they were : both : still : in : college.

: Both : of : them : wore : big : smiles, : and : clutched : bottles : to : the : other : in : their : embrace.The : door : opened : again, : gingerly, : and : the : woman : took : careful : steps : towards : me, : clutching : something : in : her : arms with : all : the : delicacy : of a : birthday : cake : on a tray.

: When : she : got : closer, : I : could : clearly : make : out : the : furry : bundle : as : a : white : rabbit.

: Its : red : eyes : stared : past : both : of : us, : eternally : alert, : even : in : a : state : of : comfort : provided : by : her : owner's : presence.The : woman : sank : to : her : knees, : setting : down : the : rabbit : and : drawing : from : under : her : arm : a : plastic : first-aid : kit."It's : gonna : take : a minute, : hold : on." : She : told : me.I : watched : carefully : as : she : withdrew : a : syringe, : and : between : soothing : whispers : to : her : pet, : stuck : it : in : the : back : of : the : neck.

: The : rabbit : shuddered : once, : calmed, : and : the : needle : was : removed : with : no : further : complications.Then, : the : rabbit : began : to : pulsate.

: Bulges : shifted : under : its : skin, : as : if : bones : were : straining : against : their : confines.

: It : began : to : stretch : and : inflate, : then : tore, : releasing : from : within : a : second : epidermal : layer, : furless : and : unfolding into : joints : and : curves.

: The rabbit's : mouth opened, : and : from : it : emerged : the : top : of : a : human : head : like : a : crowning : baby.

: The : remnants : of : the : rabbit : fell to : the : ground : like : shed : skin, : and : after : a : moment, : only : a : nude : human : body : slick : with : fluid : remained : in : a : fetal : position.This : new : human : sat : up : slowly, : stretched : out : all : of its limbs, : and : wiped : its : cheeks : clean.Then : she : noticed : me.

: She : took : a : shuddering, : careful : breath."Hey, : dad."I : nodded : dumbly.

"Hey, : Taylor."Taylor : struggled : to : her : feet, : helped : by : both : of : us.

: Leaning : on : the : island : for : support, : she : stepped : over : her : former : body : and : lurched : towards : the : coffee : machine.

: For : a : moment : nobody : said : anything as : she : ran : the : motions : of : robotically : retrieving : and : inserting : a : coffee pod.

: Her : roommate : excused : herself : to : give : us : privacy.

: Only : when : the : machine : was : well : into : its : work : did : Taylor : speak."You : wanted : to : talk." : Her : voice : was : raspy, : still : remembering : how : to : work."I : just : wanted : to : see : how : you : were." : I : said : quietly.Taylor : took : her : cup : and : sipped : from : it : without : facing : me.

"I'm : doing : fine.

: Can : I : go : back : now?"I : drew : in : a : breath."Taylor...""Yeah, : I : know, : sorry." : Her : voice regained : some : sympathy, : and : she : turned : to : me.

"I : don't : want : to : be : a : jackass.

: It's : just...

: Going : like : that, : for : weeks : on : end, : it : hurts : a : bit : when : I : come : back.

: Stretching : out : muscles : that : didn't : exist : for : that : long, : finding : my : voice : again.

: It : hurts : to : just...

: think : complex : thoughts : again.

: It's : annoying.

: It : makes : me : cranky.

: Sorry.""It's : alright." : I : said.Taylor : set : her : cup : down."But : I : know : what : you're : gonna : say.

: I've : heard : it : all : before."I : thought : before : I : spoke.

: I : knew : I : needed : to : make : my : words : count : this : time, : without : the : screaming : that : had : driven : her : away."It : just : feels- : I : mean, : you're- : I : thought : it : might : be : good, : for : a : time.

: Fine." : I : mumbled.

"But : I : can't : let : you : stay : like : this.

: It's : not : a : way : for a : human : to : live."She : shook : her : head : sourly."I : don't : have : to : dignify : that : with : a : response.

: You : know : what : I'm : going : to : say.""You : are : a : human, : Taylor." : I : lectured.

"You're : not : anyone's : pet.

: You're : my : daughter.

: It : just : feels : like : running : away.""What's : wrong : with : running : away?

: It's : better : than : just : feeling : like : shit : forever.""You : need : to : face : the : things : that : are : hard.

: You : need : to : be : strong- : And : I : can : be : there : for : you-""I : wasn't : strong : enough?

: Is : that : it?" : Taylor : asked : tiredly.

"Was : that : how : you : wanted : your : daughter : to : spend : her : life?

: You : wanted : me : to : be : miserable : every : morning, : do : my : work, : and : then : pass : out : at : the : end : of : the : day?""Obviously : not, : Taylor.

: I : wanted : to : help : you.

: But- : The : hard : parts : of : life, : there : are : things : you : can't : just-""It : was : easy.

: I : can : do : it." : She : interrupted : coldly.

"I : passed : college : with : flying : colors, : I : got : a : fantastic : job- : But : I : don't : feel : anything.

: Nothing : about : the : human : experience : appeals : to : me.

: I : took : a : different : route.

: So : sue me.

: What : do : you : want : me : to : do?

: What : would : you : rather : I : do?"Both : of : us : fell : into : a : familiar : rhythm, : neither : of : us : giving : the : other : time : to : form : an : argument.

: It : wasn't : a : screaming : match, : but : it : wasn't : a : conversation : either.

More : like : two : birds : in : flight, : taking : turns : diving : at : the : other, : then : falling : back, : too : chicken : to : strike : any : actual : damage."You're : just : numbing : yourself.

: It's : like : escapism-""Escapism : is : fine-""-You : threw out : everything : about : life, : all : the : good : as : well : as : the : bad.

: You'll : never : fall : in : love, : or...

: Or : eat : new : food, : or : see : new : places- : See : anywhere : outside : of-""My : owner : takes : me : places-""Your : owner- : You : are : not : a : thing : to : be : owned, : Taylor.

: And : you're : missing : out : on : all of : this : because- : What, : because : you : didn't : want to : work?

: Because : life : is : hard, : a-and : you-""I : tried : to : kill : myself, : dad.

: Multiple : times."That : shut : both : of : us : up.I : tried : hastily : to : recover.

"A-and : I : don't : want : you : doing : that-""When : I'm : a : rabbit, : everything : makes : sense." : Taylor : said.

"When : I'm : in : that : body, : I : don't : have : to : worry : about : my : place : in : the : world, : or : my : future, or : any : of : it.

: I : don't : have : to : think : about : the : economy or : politics : or : keeping : myself : alive : every : day.

: I : couldn't : have : any : of : those : good : things : you're : talking : about, : dad, : because : I : was : trying : not : to : slit : my : wrists : every : day.

: When : I : was : a : kid, : and : you : went : on : about : how : I : could : do : anything : I : wanted : with : my : life?

: Why : did : you : change : your : mind?

: Why : can't : you : be : happy : for : me?"My : gaze : dipped : to : the : floor."Because : I : feel : like : I've : failed." : I said.Taylor : deflated, : looking : tired : despite : her : steaming : cup."Dad...""I : don't : know : what : I : want : from : you, : other : than : for : you : to : be : okay." : I : told : her.

"And...

And : live : a : fulfilling : life.

: I've : never : known : what : to : do.

: I've : never : known : how : to : help : you.

: I : tried : medication, : and : therapy, : and- : and : being : there : for : you.

: But : I : don't : understand : any of this.

Maybe it's just because we couldn't do : this : when : I : was : a : kid, : but : I : don't : understand : it.

It : feels : like : I : failed : to : prepare : you : somehow.

: For : the : world.""I'm : still : in : the : world." : Taylor : offered : sympathetically."You're : not : in : my : world : anymore.

: You’re : not : my : little : girl : anymore.""I’ll : always : be : your : daughter, : dad.

: But : you : always : knew : I'd : have : to : leave : you : someday.

: One way : or : the : other.

: That’s : growing : up.""I : could : take : that.

: I : could : take : growing : up, : if : I : knew : you : were : happy, : and : safe.

: But : I : don't..."My : voice : cracked.

: Now : she : approached : me, : carefully : setting a : hand : on : my : shoulder."I'm : happy.

: I'm : safe." : Taylor : assured.I : met : her : eyes, : looking : for : all : the : world : like : a : man : of : my : age.I : reached : out, : and : held : my : grown up : little : girl : close."And...

: A-and : you're...""And : I'm : okay." : Taylor : promised.

"I'll : always : be : okay.

: As : okay : as : any : of : us : can : be.

: Better, : even.""I'm : sorry, : Taylor."She : shook : her : head.

"I : don't : blame : you.

: It's : not : your : fault.

: I : just...

I : wasn't : cut : out : for : it.

: I : don’t : make : a : good : human.

I : make : a : really : good : rabbit, : though."I : pulled : back, : still : holding : her.

"I : can : still...

: Visit : you?

: See : you : like : this, : from : time : to : time?"Taylor : nodded.

"Yeah.

: Whenever : you : want.

: I'll : even : put : up : with : being : like : this : sometimes, : if : you : really : want : it.

: But : I'm : happier : the : other : way.""I : hope..."When : the : words : left : my : mouth, : I : realized : I : didn't : know : what : I : was : hoping : for.I : didn't : know : if : being : okay : was : enough.A : little : bit : later, : I : held : Taylor : in : my : lap, : lowered : back : into : the : well : of : instinct : and : prey : drive.

: Her : nose : twitched, : but : she : made : no : effort : to : get : away : from : me : as : I : patted : her.Emily : sat : beside : me, : watching : how : I : handled : her.I : found : my : voice : shallow : and : hollow."...She : entrusted : herself : to : you.

: Can : you...

: Can : you : take : good : care : of : her?"She : met : my : eyes : confidently, : gaze : solid : with : loyalty."Of : course : I : will.

: Taylor's : my : friend."I : held : Taylor : on : my : lap, : gently : brushing : her : fur.

: As I : did, : I : remembered : the : last : time : she : was : this : small : and : helpless, : all : those : years : ago : in : her : infancy.

: How : much : she : smiled : back : then.

: How I had : looked : into : her : eyes, : holding her : up : to : the : sunlight, : and : promised : her : my : life.Two : decades : later, : I : wondered : if : I had : made : good : on : that : promise.

This : was “Dear : Rabbit” : by : Str8aura, read for you by Rob MacWolf, Werewolf Hitchihiker.

: You : can : find : more : stories : on : the : web : at : thevoice.dog, : or : find : the : show : wherever : you : get : your : podcasts.

: Thank : you : for : listening : to : The : Voice : of : Dog.