The the space-time where I was, I mean, it is still to this day so hard to explain like where and what that was, but it definitely I was at minimum a different frequency, like I was definitely somewhere else.

I was not.

Wherever this realm is that we are experiencing this material playing, I was not here.

Yes, and many children see them too.

About 75% of the world's children today are being born with etheric vision.

And when your children talk with people and have Daydream playmates, the chances are they're actually speaking to some of these people because these angels or angelic forces or nature spirits, as they're often called, will often make themselves seen, seen, seen and all of a sudden.

I hear him go.

Whoa.

Or, you know, something like that.

So I look up and as I look up I see this.

Sing, sing, sing.

And I said I've never seen a butterfly like you before.

I know that the paranormal is real.

Listen, as soon as I spoke to it, it turns around and makes eye contact with me and then it stands upright.

And it was at that moment that I.

Saw it was.

Like an orange light appears above this row of trees.

Then from this orange light, this thing appeared.

It's wings were actually like Sycamore leaf shaped.

And I started talking to them.

I'm like, hi, are you all the dwarfs?

And I would hear whispers that would say hi, yeah, you want to play.

And it wasn't just my imagination.

And I had told them, I'm like my dwarves, they like beer, you know?

And my dad's like, yeah, sure, your dwarves like beer.

And they were holding a conversation.

And his beer slid upwards instead of downwards.

How the house was tilted.

And him and my brothers jumped off.

So I stopped calling out Adam and I'm just kind of, my mind draws a blank and I stopped behind that tree stump.

I'm pretty close to it now because I took a few steps forward and I see this thing, thing, thing.

Thing thing, thing thing.

Welcome everybody tonight to Fascinating Faye.

Tonight we're travelling to Missouri to talk with Rachel.

Rachel, how are things going in Missouri tonight?

Very good.

Thank you for having me on.

Pleasure's mine.

I sincerely appreciate you reaching out to come on the show, Rachel.

What I do at the start of every show is I just introduce a couple of friendly guidelines so that the conversations are constructive and you never know who's dropping in for the first time.

So I like to stay consistent.

Is it cool with you if I spend just one minute here doing that before we jump in with you?

Absolutely.

OK, Well, first order of business on fascinating Faye is that we are not here to convince anybody of anything.

Talking about fairies, talking about real events that involved quantum phenomenon, the magic, you know, things of this nature.

Extremely difficult to explain to the uninitiated or the inexperienced.

And so the really there's no emphasis on convincing.

And I know a lot of people can have a tendency to adopt A defensive position in their storytelling or a need to really convince.

And I try to just remind everybody, like, good luck explaining this.

I've had so many things go down and I still can't really explain it.

So I just try to remind everybody, look, we're not here to convince anyone of anything.

Second thing I like to say is that it's brave to come on the show.

So Rachel, I'll tell you now, it is brave to come on the show.

It's not a platitude.

It's serious business.

Talking about fairy stuff, talking about interdimensional stuff.

See, there goes there goes the objects in my house already.

Pick that one up.

So we're off to an interesting start right there, AK that that's reminiscent of Danielle, but we'll get there in a second.

Let me just continue on here as best I can.

It is brave to come on the show, and I really do mean that honestly.

Like talking about this stuff can be a liability to, you know, your situation.

Someone could like potentially in a lawsuit, say, hey, look, this person believes this.

You could be something that discredits you.

So, you know, there's like all these levels of bravery, not the least of which is just the bravery to reach inside and share openly with a bunch of.

Strangers who are listening.

So I applaud you and I, I deeply respect people's bravery coming forward.

And then finally, just the last thing I always say is my interview style is that I just try to let you really immerse us in understanding by giving you as much time and space as you need to really like build context, weave threads and otherwise help myself and the audience listening understand what's going on, what's happened, what's bringing you here to talk on fascinating Faye tonight.

So, you know, no pressure, no convincing brave to come on the show and you're going to get a lot of time and space from me.

I won't leave you hanging.

I'll obviously jump in and ask questions.

And if I do that, they're just questions based on curiosity, nothing else.

There's never a gotcha moment on the show.

So with all that said, what I'd like to ask you to do here, Rachel, is if you'd be so kind.

Just gently, you know, bring myself and the audience into some understanding.

Start from wherever you think is relevant, you know, introduce yourself briefly and give us some context and the mic is yours.

OK, well, thank you very much.

Let's see, I am Bird your story and it resonated so greatly with me to my own experiences that I have had that I just had to dig deeper into fascinating Faye.

And to be candid, I'm only like to season 1 episode 8 right now just because I just found you.

But I I did hear that you were now asking for season 2.

If you, if people had ever experienced having things either disappear or reappear or you know, big changes like that from the Fae or the other side.

And that definitely caught my attention because I had a near death experience in July of 2020.

And when I came back from that, my blood type had changed.

So I mean, yes, I changed literally on a cellular level, but then there's also been some other changes, two that have happened.

I feel like I do have second sight.

I can see things like all the time.

I, I, it's not as clear as it was like in 2020 when it, you know, when I just came back from my heart stopping for three minutes.

But I still will see things that other people cannot see.

And I still don't know exactly why that is.

I I have a working theory, it's my own personal theory.

It probably does not have any science backing it up, but it feels right to me.

And that is that.

Actually, I think I've always had the second site.

I can, I can remember having feelings when I was a child of like just praying and like begging, like just don't let me see anything.

Just don't let me see anything.

Just don't let me see anything.

I have those memories.

I don't have memories of like having seen anything scary or beautiful or anything.

Like I, I just have that memory of not wanting to see something.

And so, so that's, you know, just like a nugget for me to try to integrate within myself.

But also my eyes literally are, have astigmatism and they don't just have like the kind of the normal stigmatism.

There's like three types of stigmatisms and I have like one of the most, I wouldn't say rare, but it's like the the one that the third, the third, the third type of stigmatism that you can have is like what most people like don't have.

So it's not as common, if that makes sense.

I kind of stuttered over that there a little bit, sorry.

But astigmatism is when like your eye instead of being round is like a football shape and it's either slightly like up and down or so either vertical or horizontal.

And mine is neither.

Mine is like like at a 45° angle from that, if that makes sense.

So that's, that's just my personal working theory of maybe why I can why, why I have that site, you know, and it's very interesting because I don't enter to this point.

I have not tried to interact with anything too much if that makes sense.

I I because I don't know what it is and I'm not sure that I want to engage it fully.

But I can tell that it's not something that most other like that most people can see because I call it that.

It looks like liquid smoke because that's literally sort of what it looks like.

It kind of looks like a cloud, but it looks like if you were to touch it and I have touched one of the things that it that it would feel like liquid.

So.

So yeah.

Let me let me ask you if you're comfortable.

Sure, with, you know, telling the story.

Tell me about your near death experience.

What happened to you that caused you to have your heart stop would be my first question.

And then what did you experience during that event that you can recall?

OK, so my near death experience actually was part of having been on depression medication, prescription depression medication, which I feel like a lot of people are on in our society right now.

And and we can get to the backstories of those, if you know, if that makes sense that some you know, for the whole story.

But I had been on pull, pulling myself out of very deep depression for like a two year period of time and on prescription drugs for two years.

And I had tooth pain and went to the emergency room and was prescribed another drug on top of that, even though I did tell them, you know what I was currently on every day.

And so they gave me a drug presidone for pain, which to me doesn't quite make sense.

That's really a steroid.

And I had what they call a like in the medical field and allergic reaction.

And so, so adding the presidone to what I was currently on caused my heart to stop.

And so that is when my near death experience happened.

However, presidone you take, you take a little bit more each day and I had never taken any kind of drugs really ever in my life.

I mean maybe occasionally for an emergency, but like recreationally as a teenager or anything.

I've never done any kind of drugs.

And so when I first started the presidown, I think you take like one the first day and then the next day you double it and then the next day I think you take 4, you know, so it's like 1 and then two and then four.

And each day the veil was dropping slowly.

I did not realize what that was, again, because I had no point of reference that there is, you know, any kind of drug interaction happening.

And by, you know, that that third day I was not doing well and my children finally called.

They were like teenagers at the time.

They were, I think they're 18 and 16 at the time.

And yeah, they finally were like called the emergence that, you know, the ambulance and to bring me to the emergency room for help.

And when the ambulance was called, right when I laid on the right, when I got into the ambulance, that's when my heart stopped and when my near desk experience happened.

And it was the strangest feeling because I could feel that I was still, I could still feel my body like I, it still felt like I was in a body.

I guess arguably I was, since I wasn't fully dead, I don't know.

And, and I was still definitely Rachel.

I was still fully myself, still fully my consciousness and but I was in a completely different space and it was very beautiful.

It was like my most the space, the place that I feel the most happy, which was like this big, huge, soft white bed and it was like in a Meadow and with just grasp and the colors were very vivid.

And it honestly, it felt like home, like you hear people say, like it really did feel like, you know, I'm home and right, like when my either heart or mind had that thought like, Oh, I'm I'm home.

I had AI had a feeling that people, for lack of a better word, were coming.

They were like excited, Oh, she's been gone a really long time.

She's back and they were like coming to greet me, but I never saw anyone.

But I could feel that like everybody was coming to greet me because I've been gone a very long time.

And and then I felt like another hand grabbed my hand and then I woke up in the hospital and that was my near death experience.

So that doesn't really seem maybe like the fae, but I do feel like it.

I do feel like I had like guidance long before with some Faye experiences and then definitely afterwards and definitely six weeks after that after my near death experience.

It was it was quite intense with experiences that I was having.

OK.

I want to ask what happened in the six weeks after because that's, you know, obviously I need to ask, but before I do, I just want to say thanks for telling everybody that experience.

I've also taken, you know, strong medicines when it comes to trying to modulate my mood.

I had a time where I was suffering from very, very bad anxiety and took anti anxiety medication like Ativan.

And when I when I personally tried to come off of that drug, I had tons of problems that led me into the emergency room because it's, it's really risky to be on some medicines.

So I totally empathize with like that bad drug interaction and the toll that it it took on you.

I'm really glad you survived the event to come and tell the story.

Yes, I agree.

I I am.

I am glad to.

Well, that's one thing I do.

I do feel like I had the choice to come back.

It's it's when I woke up in the hospital after my heart stopped, I had a bunch of knowing that I feel is very different than a belief, at least for me.

That's how I distinguish it in my own mind now.

It was and, and I call it a knowing because it literally is like a feeling in my cells, like in deep in me and also is not from any kind of background or the way I was raised or, you know, whatever you would like to call that programming, what have you.

I mean, it was just, it was, it was, it superseded all beliefs I ever had and had, you know, I, I had to give up a couple of things that I loved deep in my heart from childhood and, and stuff like that.

For instance, like the Bible and I, that was a personal thing that I just felt that I had to, to put to the wayside for a moment because I felt that there was much more to, to spirituality than we're ever told.

And if I wanted to find those answers that I was going to have to put some of the things that I had in my heart as beliefs my whole life, just put them on pause for a moment and be more open.

So I, I do feel like the biggest, the biggest thing that I immediately knew waking up, my very first thought was, wow, God is so much bigger, so much bigger than like the religion.

The the limitation that religion had taught me God is, if that makes sense.

It definitely, I don't even think it's a, it's a he or a she like I think it is.

It's definitely not a man on a cloud condemning us to hell.

Like I knew that immediately.

And it's really strange for me to have that kind of knowing because I was raised very, very much in church.

My stepdad of my whole life, you know, was a minister in Texas.

I'm originally from Texas.

And so, yeah.

My I'm listening.

To you and.

My intuition is kind of like churning around in my head as I listen to you.

I'm I find so many.

Elements of your story to be just utterly fascinating.

I mean one of them that really sticks out to me is your blood type change where you where you kind of let off as you started to share.

And I got to be honest, like I for the audience listening, I knew that one detail just before I went into the conversation with Rachel tonight.

And I got I was like, that seems really interesting because my hypothesis is that.

When you travel to another dimensional plane and you come back and I'm, when I say you sorry, I should say like you mentioned, I'm asking about objects.

Primarily, but then you hit me with that, that message on, you know, our, our thread where you indicated this part about your blood type changing.

And so I did a little research and I was like, OK, was that a thing?

And extremely rarely, like in the case of like childhood leukemias and stuff, there can be a blood type change.

And I'm talking like extremely young children, you know, like infant to three type of thing.

And with extreme leukemias, which you know, through the course of whatever the treatment is that is going on there can produce blood type changes, but that's about it.

And there's really no good.

Answer that I could find on why a person's blood type would change at a in adulthood and listening to the circumstances of your near death experience.

There's nothing in Prednisone or antidepressant medicine.

That's going to produce that.

There's nothing that they could have done or given you at the hospital or in the ambulance that's going to do that.

This is like a fundamental.

By product of your DNA, essentially your blood type like a very immutable part of you and doesn't change.

It's like your fingerprint kind of, you know.

So the fact that you've come back with a different blood type is fascinating when paired with what you're saying about again, like just these people and your recollection that you've been gone a long time and they're excited to see you again, which is different than other near death experiences.

I've listened to where there's usually the family there.

And with you, it's interesting that there's kind of an unseen people, but that you're aware that that they have this sense that you're returning.

And then you all start indicating that you had the choice to come back and you come back and now your blood type is different.

It's so, so interesting.

And I was, I was telling this to Julia, my girlfriend, just I was like this woman I'm talking to, she's told, told me her blood type change and just as casual as putting butter on toast.

She's like, oh, yeah, that happened to me.

And I just your girlfriend, my girlfriend said that to me.

And I said, Julio, what are you talking about?

Julia's Turkish and sometimes her English is not, she doesn't catch what I mean, like at first, you know, or something.

And and I said no, no, Julia, I'm saying her blood type change.

She said no, no, that happened to me.

I used to be this blood type and then now I'm that blood type.

And I said when, like, and she said when I was 23 and I said, what happened?

And she was like in the hospital and she had found out during this procedure in the hospital that her blood type was different than it had been her entire adult life.

And I'm trying to explain to her like, that's not common, Julia.

Like it's really, really not common.

Anyway, I digress, but my, my intuition is just like circling around my, the sphere of my consciousness now is kind of like buzzing 'cause I'm actually really picking up what you're putting down.

I I think I really feel what you're saying here.

So well, well.

That that nugget from you like.

Oh, no, I I can't.

We can't even unpack that right now.

This is your episode.

If I start in there, I'm going to get the audience is going to shit on me if you're trying to make it all about me again.

But well, it's not though, because what's funny is so 23 is, is, is my number like it's my birthday.

It's my birthday.

And I like I will show you all this.

I have medical documentation of the blood and I so for me, the blood type changed from, you know, being coming in, you know, through an ambulance to the ER blood then right before my heart stopped and then blood after.

Like it like it, it really freaked them out.

It freaked them out.

It was like in the like in that, in that day, that same day of yeah, of, of that, that incident.

So go ahead.

You just told me you're like.

Only on episode 8, but here's like, no spoilers, but you know, by the end of season 1, Julia and I had met and she's from Turkey, I'm from Canada.

And now Fast forward to this exact moment.

I'm talking to you.

We live in Costa Rica together.

Oh wow, you know like a love story for the ages, right?

And I hypothesized from the very get go that this the fairies had something to fucking do with it because it was just too intense of a connection across such.

Time and space.

And and then when she told me that after you, you told me that immediately I was like, let me just get this straight in my head here.

This woman, I think you know, has a gift from the fairies is telling me she also has a blood type that changed in her adult life.

So let's just park that and just just let like let that hang in the air for what it is.

But intuition plays a big part in the game that we are both playing tonight, Rachel.

And so fair's fair.

You know, you're going to tell me what you've been if your intuition does.

I'm just telling you what's happening to me right now.

And the fact that your blood type changed mid ambulance ride is some trippy motherfucking spooky action at a distance.

Like I really think that the molecular structure of things that go back and forth between the planes change and the idea that like in season 2, especially the idea that like some people are Fey or are skip in between those two planes, like and know it or maybe don't know it is coming forward.

And your story is exceptionally compelling when it is taken in relation to that emerging narrative.

I'm thinking about people like Lynn here, especially who has this liminality to her, where when she sleeps, she has this total recollection of like an other self paired with what you're talking about, about coming back, your blood type, changing mid ambulance ride and all these things that you're going to like.

Tell me in a second here and everything you've already said.

I'm really feeling you.

I'm, I just want you to know like I'm, I'm, I'm following this quite well.

So OK, what did you see in, in the weeks afterwards?

Like what else changed beyond this knowingness?

How did you, how did you, what did, what did you see differently?

I guess is my question.

Well, so that, that, that very first, you know, knowing waking up and, and I, I call it waking reality because I am a huge dreamer.

I have always been a huge dreamer, very lucid, very precognitive, meaning I dream something and it comes true the next day.

I've done that as a child, as a teenager and, and forward and definitely now.

So when, when you dream like that, life is can be really trippy, like really trippy.

But anyway, let's see.

So the six weeks after that, I, I know I, well, just to back up one thing I, I was thinking when you were talking about, you know, when, when, when objects go missing and come back from the fae that you, you know, you are suspecting that the molecular structure would have changed.

What I find interesting about like a near death experience is that my body technically didn't really go anywhere.

Maybe it did, I don't know, maybe some of it did, but I really just feel like it was really just my consciousness, Although I did still feel like I was in my body, but you know what I mean?

It's not like my body disappeared.

My my body was always accounted for in the hospital.

But that's why I say like at a cellular level, because I think we're much more than just the physical body.

You know, I, I definitely believe that we are multi dimensional beings.

We ourselves are not just the Fae.

So that's what I think.

Honestly, what you said there is so incredibly fascinating.

Not that I didn't think about that, but you just made me think twice about what you're saying.

That is remarkable because this is not like what I'm describing, where a can or a ring disappears and then comes back later.

You were in that ambulance the entire time, and so the change is even more befuddling, isn't it?

Yes.

Yeah, right.

Yes.

But if I could back up to 1 little incident, I mean, it's not little, I guess, but the three days leading up to that near death experience, you know, I kind of refer to it as my trip to the moon because it was very trippy.

And I guess I was having like maybe the slowest drug trip ever and I was unaware of it, which is even trippier.

But yeah, the veil was definitely, definitely just slowly, slowly dropping.

And I was being shown like all kinds of different, different things.

Like different I, I call them like life lessons.

And honestly, I think they were like, just for me.

I mean, meaning like they're, they weren't spectacular, but like, I just knew like, oh, OK, that's like for me.

I can give you an example of that.

Again, having such a Christian background, I had no idea what a shocker was, right?

Like I had no idea what any I'd never really even heard that word until after my near death experience and my own research into things.

And this was the the first day of my drug interaction before my near death experience.

And I was having some anxiety because my mom and stepdad were coming to town for my daughter's high school graduation.

And I was just was, you know, slightly anxious about that.

And when I walked into my bedroom about waist high, my jewelry box flew across the room, right?

Like flew across the room and and hit the wall and everything fell out, you know, very dramatic, very dramatic.

And but when it happened, I was like, I didn't think, Oh no, that was like, I wasn't scared.

I did not think of that was a ghost.

I just was like, oh, I feel like that was like that came from like my own energy.

Like I feel like that came from like my stomach or something, you know?

And then Fast forward to researching about chakras and that's like around the area of either your roots for women, your womb and your sacral chakra.

And I would say for sure all of those were all very stuck points of energy within myself at that point in time.

And it was just a tiny little life lesson for me of like showing me this is real.

This is like something you need to look into.

And it was confusing enough that I that I did do research and figured it out for myself and found the a good answer.

I think of what that was, but I do find it interesting that I not for a moment that I think that that was a ghost or poltergeist.

So anyway.

That's so fascinating to me.

I got to jump in.

I've I know you're kind of early into the season of season 1, but all throughout season 1, the tail end, I just keep saying like they're us.

These things are somehow us.

And what you're telling me right there is right bowling strike right up the middle of my of the of my fumbling hypothesis, which is somehow it is somehow us.

And I don't know if the form is like a psychological protection mechanism where our own psyche is creating this essence of a fae in order to obscure the fact that it's us who is this powerful.

Like it's far more easy to accept it's another entity than it is to go, oh, that's me doing all that.

I don't know if that makes sense what I'm trying to articulate or not, but a.

1000% yeah.

No, yes, that is, I mean, five years after my experience, that's where I still am.

I mean, I, I came to that like I had that knowing, waking up in the hospital, you know, that oh, wow, we are powerful.

We are powerful beings.

And but that's just, that's just hard to comprehend, you know?

I, I do think we're interdimensional like you're saying I do, I, I think that this is 1 dimension that we're in and it is as illusory as all of the other dimensions which are both tangible and intangible simultaneously, which is how you account for flying jewelry boxes.

Because it's the tangible and tangible.

It's like, yes, there's physics because any good rendering has physics.

You know, if you play Halo, there's physics.

You know, the character is bound by the by the physics of the world in which the game is occurring.

And I'm sure that, you know, materialist scientific exploration of this reality is accurate.

I'm not saying that those things aren't true.

They're the physics have been tested and are replicable.

But there's something else that is totally going on beyond the physics of the of the world, which you know, how you want to interpret that is up to you.

But what you're talking about is so bang on with what I feel deep inside, which is that somehow a lot of what is being experienced is and this is not to invalidate the experiences.

This is even a trippier perspective or or or a trippier potential.

Reason why is that is that we are exactly as you're saying, deeply powerful and that these Fey are.

Kind of us somehow, which I can still cannot quite exactly articulate, but you're talking about that jewelry box does a really, really good job of of trying to articulate what I've been trying to say.

A lot.

So thank you for telling me that anything else happened like you call them life lessons.

Was there anything else in?

The lead up to your.

Heart stopping that you can recall.

Yes, there was.

So, OK, so the second day you again for president, you take double, right?

So I, I think I took two.

So the trip again was, you know, more it was intensified again, unbeknownst to me, which I feel, I feel that that was like really important.

Like, you know what I mean?

I'm like my whole like life's purpose here, like me not doing drugs ever, even as a, you know, as a teenager or anything.

And was like really important because I having, just having sort of like that innocence and not not knowing I was having a drug trip was different than being aware you're, you know, that you took drugs and you're having a trip.

Do you know what I mean?

I, I think, I think it was a much more like you said, maybe it was just my subconscious showing me something.

I don't know.

I mean, all of this stuff definitely was outside of myself.

So yeah.

I I love your the way that you.

Are telling stories, which is totally unique to anyone I've spoken to.

You're weaving your way along, but I'm following.

You as you go.

And I'm like, yes, yes, yes, yes.

OK, I.

Totally understand you're you're not aware that these are drugs so you're you're.

Active participation in the event is innocent.

I totally understand what you mean.

It it I, I really understand what you're saying and that may that may so you, you didn't necessarily know something was going weird.

You're just kind of like, oh, this is reality now, I guess, and your brain was just accepting of that without analysis that would be informed of like prior drug use.

I totally understand you.

Right.

OK, So what?

What next?

So on the second day where, you know, just the drugs were doubled, the trip was a little bit more intense.

And this time what I saw with, you know, my waking eyes and waking reality was this huge brown BLOB in the corner of my living room.

And it was looking at me and it had eyes.

It had kind of like a face, but it definitely had eyes.

And when I saw it, I was like, oh, like, that's my depression.

And again, like from my background in Christianity, which I totally love in my heart to this day, like I'm, I'm not trying to speak I'lly of Christianity at all, but just because of how I was raised in my mind, I always sort of had a struggle that like I had depression, I was weak.

Depression is just of the devil and you can just pray it away.

Like that's kind of how I was raised.

But it wasn't that easy when I, you know, literally had it.

And there was, you know, a, a big trauma that I had this depression for.

Like, you know, there was a big trauma that occurred in my life and which is why I had depression.

But anyway, seeing that thing on the wall again, just a brown BLOB, it it almost, it almost was the color of the wall.

So it was about the same color of the wall, which was brown, but it was on top on the top part of the ceiling too, which is why I could see it.

And it was just looking at me.

And I just had this very logical thought.

Oh, that's my depression.

And then I was like, oh, that's what demons are like.

That's so funny.

Like I just started laughing.

I was like, that's what a demon has been this whole time.

Like that's so ridiculous.

It's not even scary, you know, again, because in my mind I'm like, Oh my, you know, demon of depression.

So that's the second day.

Wow.

OK.

When you say like it had eyes, just tell me a little bit more about the features that you can recall if you if that's OK.

I mean, it was pretty big in the corner.

You know, it kind of, I mean, I, I'm trying to think of like it, I guess it almost looked like a bean bag.

Maybe somehow, you know, like kind of like again.

Well, my I'm sorry, maybe the size of a bean bag, but again, it had the cloudy it look.

It looks like it looks like the same as like a cloud and liquidy.

And I kind of feel like there is some science coming out now in the last few years, I think of, you know, plasma beings.

So I think I think that that's what it was.

I do think it was there, but I don't know how to explain it.

Like although like my son was there and he could not see it.

He couldn't see what I was seeing.

So I don't know.

But but at least like that's what it looked like to me.

It looked like cloud like the size of a bean bag.

And it just has like black eye.

It was brown and it had black eyes, but it didn't really have like a like a truly humanoid face.

And it was just looking at me.

So I feel like I, I didn't think this at in the moment that it was happening, but upon reflection, I feel like it definitely was an aspect of me because it was self reflecting, you know what I mean?

Like it, it had awareness and I don't know how to explain that.

I just knew that that was like my depression.

One of my favorite guests in season 1.

Going to blank on her name right now, but British woman she actually saw like not exactly what you're describing, but in the in the vein of this concept that you're putting forward of self reflection.

She saw like a fully embodied entity on her bed.

Black shadowy, like you're talking about moving, bouncing around on her bed, like right down to like being able to see the sheets moving and the thing depressing the bed like someone was really there, you know, And she sort of mustered the the wherewithal to say like, who are you?

And the answer was I am you, which is one of my other favorite kind of like moments of this hypothesis of the fate or somehow us.

A lot of your storytelling there.

But in the day one and day two of the drug use is kind of really complementary to that.

That idea, that inner inner question of how much of the phenomena is external and how much of it is really a self reflection like you're saying.

Was there anything else that happened in the lead up to before your heart stopped that you can recall?

Or is that the extent of?

It well, that's kind of it.

The the only other thing that happened before my near death experience and my heart stopping was the evening of that second day because the third day is when my heart stopped.

That evening I feel like I had, I don't know what I would call.

I still don't know exactly what I would call it, but it's like all of my thoughts and worries.

Like I almost went through every single thing that had happened to me in my life.

And I would say it was like in my mind, I much more than anything material outside of me.

But I mean, I was kind of like seeing flashes of of, of, you know, big, big points in my life, like my marriage, my children, I have two children, my divorce, you know, things like that, like big, big tickers in the timeline of my life.

Not quite like like a life review like I've heard other people describe.

It definitely was not like that, but it was just like a reflection of that.

And part of my problem personally at the time was anxiety.

And I was such a warrior.

Like I worried about everything.

I mean everything all the time.

And I mean debilitatingly so, right.

And so, so yeah, it was like that was like the thing right before my, you know, my near death experience the next day was just like a, just like a timeline of my life and how I got to where I was right at that moment in time.

It really sounds like you were flickering towards that NDE, like you were slow motion going to it.

And it's so interesting, like conceptually, when you, I'm, I'm truly fascinated by everything that you're saying.

It's it's a real treat to talk to you because you're a fascinating guest.

Thank you.

Well, like you're talking about kind of unlocking telekinesis and you're talking about unlocking visual self reflection of what?

Like I often do think that these, gosh, it's so interwoven and complicated.

That it is.

Really hard to know where to start your discussion points, but like basically what you're saying about seeing depression physically, you're not the only person who's come on the show who's talked about like an embodiment of a strong emotional thing that lives within them.

Be it anxiety, be it depression, be it anger and anger's another good one as as somehow being like not just not just like conceptually like, oh, this is a feeling, but like there's an actual entity kind of representation to that feeling that can both like be in you and be made to leave.

I also think it's really interesting like that kind of breakdown of like the prior understanding that's informed by dogma of like you can pray this away and like the kind of jumble that your brain is undergoing.

And then the way that you come out the other end.

So you when you come back from the NDE anxiety is gone I'm guessing?

Yes, because the the space-time where I was during my near death experience, I mean it is still to this day so hard to explain like where and what that was, but it definitely I was at minimum a different frequency.

Like I was definitely somewhere else.

I was not wherever this realm is that we are experiencing this material plane.

I was not here because wherever I was, I'm not sure if it is correct to describe it as higher, but it did feel higher.

It felt very loving, but unlike any love you've ever felt here.

Like the most love you've ever felt for anyone else.

Like way more than that.

And it was like palpable.

Probably because I was in spirit form too.

You know what I mean?

Like, I don't know because I was that same material.

I don't, I don't know.

That's my best guess.

But it wasn't just love.

It was actually, it was also so much peace.

And I do call it the peace that passes understanding, which is a biblical reference, I I think.

But man, like I had never experienced that much peace in this realm and definitely in my life.

And when I came back into waking reality, I could still feel it.

Like I could still feel that peace.

And I mean, I was changed.

I I was, I was literally changed, I guess from the inside out.

It's so strange.

I've never articulated it that way, but just talking to you about it.

Yeah, I, I think that's what happened.

So yeah, the piece, yes, the anxiety, especially to the degree that I had, you know, was was just beyond words.

I still can't really articulate.

That very well.

Yeah, and then I mean, I definitely don't recommend this.

And if you need to cut this out, you can.

But like, I mean, I immediately even stopped like my anxiety medication, my two, my two, I was on two different medications, anxiety and for anti an antidepressant.

And I stopped those immediately, not just because I didn't need them anymore, but because I also, I think wherever I went, I went through the layers of the cake here up to wherever I was.

And I don't know how to explain it, but it's like I, I could feel all of those frequencies.

And so it's almost like I sort of knew that like whatever they are doing with prescription drugs is not kosher.

Like it is not good.

And so I just, I personally decided, yeah, I'm done with that.

And I did have like kind of, you know, a physical, some physical reactions to doing it just abruptly like that.

So I definitely don't recommend that to anybody to do.

But it wasn't like as bad as I thought it would be, which could be because maybe I was changed so much.

Honestly what you're saying is just fine to talk about and actually super important.

I agree with you that the over medication of the population is a kind of evil spell.

And I really think it's a it's something done knowingly.

And I think that I think that is weird as it might sound, but hey, this is a fairy podcast.

I think less of it is about addressing your depression and your illness and much more of it is about casting an evil spell that maintains a type of evil grip that they have on this plane.

And I, I do struggle all the time to get taken seriously when it comes to this sort of stuff.

But there is, you know, a weird crossover between fairy discussion, fairy experience, and then a pretty quick and bumpy ride down the conspiracy rabbit hole to to realization that this garden that is naturally what Earth exists as has been absolutely corrupted.

And a healthy part of their success of that corruption lives in the minds of all the people.

Hence the violence porn, the porn porn, the shit food, the struggle to survive.

All these artifices that are not naturally occurring are the ones that beset people and drive them naturally to seek these medicines.

The medicines, I think like you're saying can be, I don't know, they'd like they do more harm than good, I think is what you're talking about.

And, and, and metaphysic harm is what I'm saying, you know what I mean?

Like, like harm to your innate psychic abilities, for lack of a better placeholder word.

I do think that these medicines are meant to dampen down a big percentage of the population so that the overall vibration syncs with it.

And I think that that's a tool that those in the know are, you know, I think manipulating to create a lot of the calamity that we see here in this plane.

And it becomes really, really hard to fight back with positive, energetic expressions against it because it's like a fight versus good and evil.

Like in the Bible.

It's never not been the same story.

Unfortunately, we're still right in that same quandary that humanity has always been in for time immemorial.

I, I'm, I honestly think everything you're saying is right Bowling strike right up the middle.

But just to kind of put a pin on something you said, I'll just offer my own story.

I used to take Ativan for anxiety and I had a super hard time coming off of it.

I mean, really difficult physical symptoms.

One point I did try to stop cold Turkey like you're describing.

And I mean, I nearly had seizures because there's such a, you know, I and it's so I'm speaking just completely honestly here at the time that I was taking the Ativan, I don't even know that I really felt it.

I thought I said times I thought it wasn't working and it wasn't until I tried to stop taking it that I realized the Super profound impact it was having on my system.

How I ended up stopping was I went to a compounding pharmacist and they literally decreased the dosage by .10 of a milligram every week in by making me specially compounded versions of the pills.

So I would just continue to take it, but every single week the dose would reduce by .10 of a milligram.

And it took me almost a year and a half to titrate off to the point where I completely had it out of my system.

And I tried to stop cold Turkey twice.

And both times I ended up in the ER having like almost a seizure from trying to stop cold Turkey.

So the idea that you came back changed and then we're able to stop cold Turkey like you're describing, in part because of that change, I think is extremely valid thinking because it's normally extremely hard to do that.

And so there's a lot going on with when you came back that all.

I'm glad we spent more time talking about the few days before and more about the event and the changes afterwards, because this is all extremely relevant.

Everything you're saying is relevant to the Fate discussion.

100% it is.

Thank you.

I I agree too.

I agree too well, and I mean, I know for lack of a better way to explain things because we have to articulate things in this realm that just like the word God.

So when I came back from my near death experience, it was very hard for me to call God, God because it was not the man condemning us to hell from the cloud like that was you know what I mean?

Like, I don't know that I really thought that, but like a little bit, you know what I mean?

I but just being where I was like I knew that God first of all, there, it's not hell, right?

Like, it's not about that at all.

And I'm not saying that there is not good and evil.

There definitely is good and evil here.

But I do even think that some of some of the evil is to make us better.

And I and I that's from my own personal experience, my own personal trauma and also the way that I have released that with help, I think from the faith.

Because it had to be shown in a very like, you know, dark night of the soul shamanic journey, which was basically what I feel like my like the six weeks after my near death experience was, you know, up until you know, this point in time five years later.

So it's, it's still a journey.

It's not as dark anymore.

I'm in a much different place than I was and I honestly feel like I have been given all of the relevant answers that I need for myself and my own journey for me, which is, you know, the most important, right?

Like meaning like, I think all of us will get all of the answers that we need.

But it is very benevolent.

I can feel the benevolence.

Sometimes we're like, I don't realize I'm not quite there yet.

I'm not quite ready to have that inner standing.

I want to distinguish that then, you know, because I feel like some of that then becomes like a true integration of knowing again at the cellular level.

And I don't care what anyone else outside of me says.

I if I know it as like an internal thing, I'm good with that.

I don't need validation from outside of myself anymore for certain things though at.

The very least I've got to say this conversation is really good for me.

I have like wondered about a lot of this stuff and you're probably the first person I've spoken to in maybe over 60 episodes, probably exactly because you had a near death experience.

Who's coming back to me with these like reflections and insights on some of my hypothesis.

And you haven't even heard half of what I'm referring to you.

So it just, it's so genuine the, the fact that you've kind of like given me so much reflection of some of the things I've been like grasping at with my pondering.

I think I annoyed everybody.

Who listened to Season 2 in the last half of the season, 'cause I just kept saying like.

I think they're us or somehow they're us.

And I didn't know if that was like they can read our heart.

So they just feel a little bit like us 'cause they're or if they're feeding off of our energy to manifest or if it's truly right down to kind of like that experience you're talking about on day one of your lead up to your NDE where the jewelry box went flying.

I find your reaction to that so fascinating too, where you weren't, you just didn't think that was a ghost.

Did it shock you or were you kind of, you think under the influence of the drug interaction at that point?

Do you remember feeling like, what the fuck was that?

Or was it like?

Yes, I do remember like it felt, I don't, for lack of a better way to describe it, trippy.

It was very, it was a very trippy feeling.

But again, I didn't realize I was having a drug interaction, right.

But I knew something was different.

Like when I first went into that room, I was like, whoa, like I'm not alone.

Like this room has so much happening in it, but like I couldn't see anything.

I was like, what?

I felt like I was on the Truman Show.

Like it was so weird.

Like it was so weird.

I was almost like hit the 4th wall or something, you know?

It was so strange.

It was a really strange trippy feeling.

And then then that happened.

And even myself, I am surprised that I wasn't scared of that because I was very much raised and, you know, the Southern Baptist religion and I, I, I loved it.

I respect it to this day.

I'm thankful for the way I was raised in it.

But I just, I, I just think there is more somehow, you know, and I know that that can maybe get people under the skin a little bit there, you know, So I'm very careful with people.

I, I talk to people as best as I can about my experience and I do, I usually feel into it like, and I really feel like I've been shown by the fae or again, you know, something outside of myself for sure.

It right now is how that feels.

I feel like that's what holding space literally means.

Just me just having 0 judgement about where someone else is.

And I feel like we all have pieces of information for each other.

That's why we're all here together.

I mean, you know, I don't, I mean it, it's so strange.

It's a very individual journey, but at the same time, you know, we are all here collectively and that's the trickiest part.

So I do think that just like you're saying the Fae like every, you know, everybody that the somehow the fae are a part of us.

I think that everybody that comes into your into your life is is supposed to for some reason.

So I know that's a little trippy to think about too.

Well, no, predestination is a big part of the mindfuck here because there's so many events that are that draw into question the nature of linear time, first of all.

And then beyond just the nature of linear time, which is just a technique for them to make a point, there's the whole like larger omnipotent perspective that they would appear to possess.

Because maybe a lot of life is all happening at once, not just in a linear timeline.

Like maybe it's all kind of a energetic sequence that can be rearranged to produce different harmonies and pitches.

Rather than thinking about it like a point A to point B line you, you think about it as a frequency in motion.

And maybe it's just all the universe trying to fine tune itself through all these quote UN quote synchronicities, you know?

And I do think that like the energetic flow of the collective can be modulated just the same.

Like if enough people listen to a show like this, what's the upper threshold tipping point where the the whole collective consciousness just now Domino's and all of a sudden the Fay are out from behind the veil?

Or maybe more correctly, more apt to what we're saying, our own true nature is revealed to ourselves.

I do think that like you, when you look at kind of there's so many strands of seemingly unrelated topic material that when you kind of get deep enough into this whole faith thing and you look at it, you can go back into like even some ancient archaeological sites that defy explanation of construction.

And you say, well.

What if, you know, back in the day, human beings were a lot more in touch with our capabilities for doing exactly what you're talking about?

In your case, it's a jewelry box flying across the room.

But what if, you know, 1200 humans in a group collectively focus their intention on a big rock?

Could they get it to the top of a hill without touching it?

You know, it's just the, the, the, the, the little traces of evidence throughout time that we've always had these capabilities and, or we've been working in the past with Faye or others with these capabilities is pretty compelling.

When you draw that analogy to your jewelry box or to this little coffee cup that slid on the table between Julia and I, or the dozens of other stories people have told me of objects moving, you know, disappearing, reappearing, coming through walls, coming into secure locations.

I think it's deeply educational about the nature of reality.

So it doesn't surprise me that the first thing that would happen is that you would watch reality break with your eyes and something move that shouldn't move.

Because I've said over and over and over again on the show, the reason the fate do that is because it's instructive.

They're trying to they're trying to cement the parable in your mind.

Reality is not as real as you think.

Ha, ha, ha.

Deal with that.

You know, it's really, it's really interesting to me that that's kind of the first thing that happened on your journey of change, because I think that, like yours is a condensed version in three days leading up to your NDE.

But for many people, the Faye interactions start in exactly the same way, which is an impossibly moving object.

I even think about like Becky B in Australia and the little Lego dinosaur that just fell off the top of the TV while her and her husband were standing talking about this gnome named Grimble Grumble.

It's so interesting that the first thing they do is they do something with a physical object in reality.

It's like a key or something that unlocks the the breakdown of reality.

And now the veil is kind of disintegrating and it's all the it's all jumbling together and your mind is shifting phase and you're now you're like, whoa, I think you said it well, when it's kind of like the.

The room changes underneath you.

You know what I mean?

Like it's.

Yeah, very interesting.

OK, well, what?

What?

Kind of things did you see afterwards?

Now I'm I I could ask you still questions about just the jewelry box for an hour, but you know, they would pour the shit out of everybody so.

What I'll do is I'll just.

Move on out of respect for, you know, your time and the audience's time.

Not for lack of fascination on these other things you've already said, but if you'd be so kind and just sort of take us into some of the stuff you saw afterwards, I'm definitely dying to know.

Yeah.

So for about the the six weeks after, like my near death experience, I would say I was definitely vibrating, resonating, whatever you however you would like to describe that at a very different frequency than usual than I ever had for sure.

And so I feel like that's why I saw with my eyes and waking reality so many, so many shocking things.

But again, and I say shocking because I mean, yeah, they got my attention and it felt scary for sure at times.

But I never was harmed.

I never felt harm or anything like that.

But I do feel like that that was part of my yeah, spiritual, just my spiritual journey that I feel like I've been on ever since.

And it's kind of funny to say it like that because again, I feel like I was, I was definitely very religious before, although you know, in the predestine, you know, like you said, predestination of life or what have you.

Like the way I was raised actually made me not raise my children in religion at all.

I wanted them to, I wanted them to have the freedom of choice for that.

But I feel that I don't feel like that was a conscious, that was a conscious decision at the time that that did feel sort of just pre LED or subconscious somehow.

But it still happened.

And I do feel that I came back from my near death experience for my children's sake because I was like, oh, I can't leave yet because like they don't have, they don't have quite enough.

Like I didn't raise them with anything, but that means they didn't have any kind of spiritual guidance.

And I do feel like that that is somewhat important.

So I feel like I came back for that and for them.

And so let's see the first thing that happened after the six weeks or I'm sorry, after my near death experience, like one of the first things that happened.

And again, I feel like these are little life experiences, life lessons for me.

Again, for me personally, I don't ever expect anyone that I tell any of my stories to, to believe it because it's quite unbelievable.

But again, I, I only share it with people that I feel, you know, need to hear it or, or wanting to hear it.

So the first thing I saw was a shadow person step out of my bedroom and it was very shocking.

Like I was sitting in my living room, my bedroom light was off, so it was dark.

I feel like that is an important part of the story.

It was dark.

So it's stepped from the darkness into the light.

There is a light in the hallway and but it was kind of short.

I'm kind of short myself.

I'm like 5-2 and so it's like just a short shadow person.

It did not look at me, but it did have arms and legs and it just it just walked through the hallway, I guess into the other bedroom which that door was shut.

So, you know, it just, it was just not there when I went, when I got up to check and somehow, somehow I was just sitting looking, you know, just happened to be looking in that direction when it happened.

Which I mean, I'm being sarcastic.

Like it was not just by chance, like I was looking directly at it when it happened and it just stepped out from the darkness, walk down the hall and that was it.

But it scared me.

I mean, my heart was like racing.

I have never felt like that scared about anything ever, you know, because it was just like a shadow person.

And I was like, Oh my gosh, what just happened?

And so I got up and I went and checked the room that it looked like it had gone into.

There was nothing there.

I didn't know what to do about it, but I definitely could not sleep in that bedroom.

Also days before that, and well, actually I think a month or so before that, my, my, the closet door in my room was always open in the morning when I would wake up.

And that really freaked me out.

But I had two cats and I just thought I would just tell myself, oh, it's just the cats.

They're just like opening that door.

There was just, you know, a sliding, sliding doors for a closet door.

And so the cats are just doing that.

But also leading up to this whole, you know, experience, I was having some really bad nightmares, really scary dreams.

And so I even I moved from my bedroom to that second bedroom just because I was like, I don't know what's going on.

I'm just going to change locations of where I sleep.

And I was like, it's like it found me and whatever in my I'm a very lucid dreamer and I was just dreaming of like a shadowy kind of person.

Not exactly what I saw with my waking eyes, but there is definitely something that was like looming over me trying to, I don't know, wake me up in these nightmares, right?

That's very much a metaphor, I think now for what literally happened to me.

And so it was interesting to see it so material.

And it again, it was black.

It looks like liquid smoke, but it definitely was in human form.

And as I sat and thought about it, my heart still completely racing about so just pop out of my chest.

It felt like I was like, I think that might have been me.

I was like, I don't even know why I had that thought, but I was like, I think that was me somehow.

Because mostly because it was short, right?

Because like my, my children are tall.

Like, everybody in my whole family is tall except for me.

And yeah, it was just, it was just so strange.

I was like, it looked almost like it literally was my shadow.

So like, that was like, you know, strange, right?

So the next morning, I'm going to work.

I'm backing out of my my garage.

And in the rearview mirror, I see the shadow person go up my steps, up through my front door.

Like I could see that and through the mirror, right through my rear view mirror.

And that really scared me.

That scared me greatly.

And I was like, what is happening again?

It was still kind of short, kind of little, but it really did startle me because I was like, OK, like, I mean, I just didn't know what to do with that, you know?

And so that evening, I'm telling my son, who lived with me at the time, and he is about 19, and I'm telling him the story.

And he's sitting across from me.

I'm looking directly in my bedroom again.

And I'm literally telling him the story.

And it comes out again, but this time it's not in a human form.

It is just like a black shadow, like the size of a shoebox.

OK, so it's just like a rectangle, but it has like tendrils kind of off of it.

Again, very smoky, like cloud.

Smoky like, sorry, Smokey is not the right word.

Cloud like a cloud and liquidy.

Like it definitely there's a liquid, there's some sort of Sheen or something that it definitely looks liquidy and it does the same thing.

It comes out of the dark room into the hallway, down the hallway into the second bedroom as I'm telling my son this story about the shadow person the night before.

And he's like, well, that's creepy.

That makes me a little scared.

And I was like, yeah, do you want me to be honest?

He's like, yes.

And I was like, it just happened again, but, you know, and told them the story.

So we both go into the second bedroom and we look around and there's nothing.

And we're both really freaked out.

We're both really scared kind of.

And frankly, I don't know what that was, but I still to this day really think that the shadow person I was seeing, I saw the shadow person a few more times and in my condo.

I do think it was an aspect of me somehow.

It just felt like a again, kind of a knowing it didn't feel scary.

I started scaring myself and my own mind about it because I was so freaked out about it.

I slept in the living room then and had all the lights on in the house and 'cause I'm like, OK, so it's coming from the dark and it steps into the light and like, what is that?

You know, I don't know.

So that was the first life lesson.

Do you do you remember much about how it moved?

Like when people move, they kind of lumber along, they bounce around a bit.

When they're walking, you can kind of see them go up and down as well as forward.

How did the motion stand out to you, if at all?

I'm just really curious about how they move.

Well, I do remember when I would see the shadow person at a in like a in a shadow person form, it was always black and it did have like hands and arms and legs, right?

And Even so much I would say fingers, but no definition.

Like I, I'm not sure.

I don't think it had an actual face or eyes.

And again, it, it never actually looked at me, but I do feel it was 100% making sure I saw it.

I mean, it was only happening when I was looking directly at something, right?

And like, and I mean, the most shocking thing was to see it outside in the rearview mirror as I was backing my car out of the garage and it went upstairs, you know, like went up the stairs to the front door.

Well, I mean, again, like, I don't know why I say that.

I feel like it was an aspect of me, it it was just annoying.

Annoying not to be scared.

But I'm not saying that I wasn't right.

It was like, I'm still human.

I'm still a flawed human, whatever humans exactly are, right?

And I mean, I, I was pretty scared for a while about it, Yeah.

No doubt I would be scared if I saw such a thing as well.

I, I wonder as I listen to your storytelling like I want, I wonder a lot of stuff, not just listening to your storytelling, but as I listen to your storytelling, it, it reminds me of something I think about all the time, which is like in the idea that like it is us or they are some aspect of you.

Are you kind of like catching glimpses of a parallel life, you know, the one in which you still have the same blood type that you used to and you're just kind of looking at a literally like a shadow or like a like, like if you turn the light out in a room really quick, it's like a half second where you can kind of still see the room in your mind's eye before the it's totally black, you know, are you seeing a little echo of what was?

And that's why it's looks like you and you're kind of just seeing this black impression of it, almost like a timeline fading out or one that you're no longer part of.

But you can still kind of perceive, I wonder if it's that or I wonder if it's like an emotional projection of the self cause shadow people and other entities like have an intimacy to them when experienced that is hard to really give voice to you.

But I've said it a lot in the show.

They, they know your heart.

There's like an intimacy there.

I, I, I really pick up what you're saying.

I I, I really feel that like.

Part of you that is is.

You know, intuitively understanding that it's something to do with us.

I don't think they're as random as initially they appear.

I do.

And yeah, I don't exactly know how it works, but I know that there's an intimacy to the phenomenon and the Fey know more about you than they should somehow.

And that could be because they are, they are us.

That would make perfect sense as to why they know so intimately like I talked about.

But you do feel that intimacy when you're around 1:00.

Right, you do.

I know what you're talking about about that kind of I I, I'm, I like your, your wording like a liquidy the Terry from this recent episode.

He kind of called like a rainbow hue thing, kind of like when you see like oil in a puddle, There's there's an intangible and you say liquid.

I always kind of say it looks just sort of like reality is deconstructing, like it's moving, you know, like it's what what should be like a a static thing is has too much movement.

It's solid, but it's got too much movement within it is the way that I've seen it both of my initial ferry sighting and with this thing that I saw up in the Mountain House with Julia.

So I think you're doing a really good job too of kind of giving voice to the solid, non solid nature of them.

It's super hard to explain.

It's really hard to explain what they look like.

Yes, it is hard to explain what it looks like.

But you know, you know you're seeing it with your eyes.

I I know you're seeing it's, it's really with your eyes.

Yes, it's, and again, as such a precognitive lucid dreamer that I've been my whole life.

You know, my dreams are really real, really vivid, but I definitely know when I'm awake versus when I'm asleep.

An interesting thing in the last five years is, I mean, I do feel like I've been having communication my whole life through dreams.

And, you know, at a certain point I was ready for it to come into waking reality is what I think has happened in a way.

You know, the Toltecs would say we're all, we're dreaming all of this, you know, So I don't know.

I do feel like dreams are more important than we might give a credit for at times.

So I don't, yeah, I don't know.

But at the same time, when you see though, anything with in waking reality with your eyes, it feels like a dream, like, you know what I mean?

Like time stops or slows down.

And yeah, it it feels really strange.

It blurs the lines.

That's absolutely correct.

Also, like I always wonder like OK, children and I'm I'm generalizing here, but children often seem to have a better vision of this stuff.

And when I think about you like dying and coming back, literally made made a new, is it like you've got like a a newly born hangover and your etheric vision is still working just like a kids?

Wow.

Yeah, that is so.

That is so.

I'm sorry to interrupt.

You no please.

What's your response?

That, that got me good there because like that is so interesting because like I, I think I said it when, when we started the podcast, like I feel like I have a memory being a child that, you know, like saying like, please don't let me see anything.

Please don't let me see anything, but I wonder if it is actually what you're saying that like I, what I, you know, it's like I was quote UN quote reborn.

And yeah, that's interesting, yeah.

I think that like there's a lot going on there.

So in certain people, the etheric vision is intact and it's through social conditioning or just like lives in modern society that we lose contact with the skill set.

And it's deeply unsettling for us, 'cause we're we're separated from source.

And what you're describing is so interesting because again, I'm just kind of following my intuition about why.

It would be that after you're NDE, you're seeing like this and it it does just immediately Ding, Ding, Ding.

In my head, it's just like being a kid again, like you're just born a new.

Yep.

Yep.

I never I've Yeah, I've never had that thought.

That is that is important for me.

Thank you.

I needed that.

Well, I'm always the first one to say there's no expert analysis on Fascinating Fay, but I can offer what I am myself piercing together as I go along.

And there's something about the way kids see and then they lose it.

And then I just, it's just really striking to me that like after you come back changed literally at the cellular level or from within.

Cause like biology is illusory just like any other part of the illusion that we're living.

But like if you look at quantum physics and quantum biology, they're proving that a lot of animals can see the quantum.

And because because the animals aren't like, you know, sitting in school or sitting in front of TV's, they just keep that skill set forever because it's never conditioned out of them.

And so when you think about people like waking up, their vision, I think it is literally like biology being activated.

And in your case, I just think that like in a, in a younger person and a child, the biology is pure like, not like, because any, any biological system that you possess can be kind of at your feet out of you.

If you stop using it, if you stop using your legs, they're not going to work.

You know, it's simple as that.

So if you're not allowed to use your vision.

Quickly your childhood.

Stops and you become like an adult and then that that way of looking at the world stops.

I don't think that the way that children see the world is invalid.

I think it's correct and maybe like scientifically even demonstrable that it's it's they're they're doing something that all of us can do, but they haven't conditioned it out of themselves.

The perception is intact, I guess is my, the what, what I'm trying to say.

And so it's just so, so interesting, like all the elements of your story, not the least of which is your, your kind of new vision as you come back anew.

Was there other stuff other than the shadow person?

I think you mentioned more than one thing, so I'd love to ask if there was anything else 'cause your stories are really fascinating.

There was, and it's really interesting that you bring in animals because, you know, being that those kinds of things really made me question this, you know, especially 'cause I had a, you know, a drug allergic, you know, reaction and just all that kind of stuff.

You know, just kind of questioning my mental state and at the moment.

But the next thing that happened after I was seeing the shadow person a few times around my condo.

I was in a relationship that was ending and slightly contentious.

And we had a conversation on the phone 1 evening and we, you know, kind of argued and we ended it not nicely.

And you know, whatever up.

I accidentally fell asleep in the living room.

Well, I, no, I think I was sleeping out in the living room because of the shadow person.

And I woke up at some point and like the television was on, but it had gone into its sleep mode and there was like, like there was something in front of it and I couldn't quite make out what it was, you know, as I'm like waking up.

And it was, it was like the size of a shoebox again, like a rectangle, kind of like shape, but it was brown.

It was kind of like brownish Gray.

Again, looked very like, much like a cloud.

And I don't know how I knew this exactly, but as I was looking at it, I was like that that is like the gunk from like our fight like because we like we didn't clear it like, you know, before we fell asleep or what have you.

Like that was just just the junk of a fighting.

And I know that sounds pretty crazy.

This is how I feel like I was shown that thoughts are things.

And so it started moving.

It came down.

It came down from the TV, which was so that, I'm sorry, the TV was a little bit higher, like on a fireplace Mantel.

And so the rectangle came down and was about in the middle of the room about the level about of like, say your knees.

And so all of this is happening.

I'm trying to process it.

I somehow, you know, know that it's just like the discord that I had, you know, with argument with somebody.

And that like that was like some negative thoughts that have been sent my way.

And my cat all of a sudden saw it, ran towards it, jumped like up in the air where it was kind of kind of grabbed it, kind of sort of like wrestled with it a little bit, did a whole roll thing.

They're rolling together on the floor together.

And then she runs up her cat tree, dissipates.

I'm sorry, it dissipates, it's gone.

She runs up the cat tree and sleeps for like 3 hours.

I was like wow she's like the guardian of my Galaxy.

Like what just happened there?

It was like again, a life lesson.

I feel like I was shown that one.

Thoughts are things and I do think that our thoughts matter and that we need to be careful with it at times and not to give anxiety, right, Coming from the person who had such anxiety that it was debilitating.

It was just again, a personal lesson for me that like, this is how it starts and it could get, it can get much, much bigger if you allow it to.

So that was my like, second life lesson I feel like.

I love this story so much because your cat was interacting with it.

Yes.

How many times do people tell me that their cats can see the spirit world?

I definitely think that they can.

I definitely know they can.

And it's it's it's interesting for me because, yeah, I mean, she she validated me that I was not that I wasn't hallucinating it, right?

Like she went and tackled it.

And then I was like all the stuff they say about cats.

I mean, they really are some sort of guardians because I think she kind of tackled the thought form so that it, you know, that it just dissipated.

I don't know what she did with it.

She looked like she just wrestled it away so.

My mind is just, like, trying to catch up to all these thoughts I'm having about cats right now.

Yeah.

The Egyptians used to keep them around because they were literally protectors of the spirit realm.

Everyone thinks that, like, they were aesthetically drawn to cats, which, for sure, cats are a sleek animal and everything.

But again, like you go back to like not to like self reference so much, but I was just saying like in ancient archaeology, you you wonder like was there a better understanding of these other realms in the way that things were being constructed and Egyptian reverence for cats and the highly like in tune with the other side nature of Egyptian.

Society really is like just bouncing around in my head right now as you're talking about your cat.

Right.

I wonder, I wonder if that's why they purr, you know, because maybe they are, maybe they're walking in two different worlds.

And I feel like, I feel like those six weeks after my near death experience, I was very much and sort of in two different places at the same time sometimes.

And it's a really weird feeling.

And if you could purr that would probably help.

It, it, I'm like trying to digest what you're saying because I just keep going back to this idea that like you can't really rationalize with a cat.

You can't be like, hey, look over there.

There's an energy thing I'm seeing.

Your cat either saw that shit or it didn't and it did.

And the way that you're describing it, choosing to behave, is so fascinating, especially the fact that it slept.

Afterwards, like somehow dissolving that took something out of it is so interesting.

Yeah.

That is interesting.

But doesn't just seem like perfectly logical when you consider that thoughts are things and that like it takes energy to just to dissolve a negative thing and you're left tired afterwards.

Of course that is exactly how it would go.

And your cat is not rational.

Your cat is just like when I say not rational.

Animals are highly rational.

I'm a vegan.

I think animals are extremely sophisticated, but they think differently than we do.

So it it just knew that it was there and it knew what to do, which tells you so much.

Your your story there has a lot of information contained in it about a lot of things, the nature of cats, the nature of reality, the nature of thoughts.

But it's a nice tight little story.

Like you get a lot of knowledge in that one little storytelling.

So when it was like wrestling with it, is this like now on the kind of ground it's got it or like just kind of curious how exactly it is so interesting?

Yes, it's it's like she so so it floated like it.

I don't know it it looked like it floated like it didn't move super fast, right, Just kind of look like it floated down from you know, fireplace mantle level to say about like knee level of a person standing, which was plenty of you know, space for the cat to just be able to kind of grab it.

She just kind of jumped up in the air, sort of grabbed it and just kind of wrestled with it and rolled around on the ground with it a little bit and then it just was gone.

And then she ran up her cat tree and just slept for like a long time, so.

Is that why they're always sleeping?

Because they're just constantly like knocking down the bad vibes?

Also extra cat treats for that cat later that night like good job.

Yeah.

But you're describing a basically interdimensional animal, one that is able to, even though it's physical, grab something non physical and interact with it in a physical way for which it it is responding in a somewhat non physical but physical way.

Like there's physics there.

It's just so interesting that your cat is grabbing it and like basically dissolving it, but it's doing it physically and representationally in one motion.

So interesting.

Right.

Well, and, you know, five years after the after the fact of all of this, right?

Like I've had so much time, I've written, I've written each account, you know, in great detail as many times, you know, at least four or five different times throughout the years, right?

Just kind of processing it all.

And yeah, like I actually think that each of my life lessons that I call them, I think they're very multi dimensional.

There's there's so much going on just in in just that scene, right?

Or whatever you want to call that exactly because I think we're I don't think anything is just one thing is what I'm trying to say.

Unfortunately, I think it's way more complicated than that.

But at the same time, like God and the faith, I think it's all very so, very much the same in my opinion.

And I don't know, it can also be so subtle.

The messaging can be so subtle in nature, at least for me, I really see messaging in nature.

And it can just be simple too, you know, It's, it's, it's so complicated to describe at times, but I think it's very multi dimensional.

I, I sometimes like I, I'll be listening to these shows as they're unfolding.

Absolutely, you know, enthralled the entire way because there's so many things that are being seen like you're you're I really like it how you say life lessons.

I always make the joke that the Faye give you these barbed wire wrapped gifts, which because you get this, you get this amazing, mind blowing gift, but then good luck tangling with it or good luck explaining it to others.

But you know, so many things that, like, the Internet thinks about cats, there's going to be like, at least, you know, 150 people listening to this episode that have cats, probably way more than that.

But I'm just throwing out a random number of 150 and like, they're all of a sudden just going to look at their cat and go, I fucking knew it.

I fucking knew this whole time.

You could see this shit.

I fucking knew it.

Yeah.

Rachel's telling the truth.

Like because what are they?

Doing sometimes when they're in the corner having an interaction, it's like it's some like children and pets can see the the other side full time.

Right, well, like you say, I I think we all can.

I, I should have prefaced the whole conversation as we started with my own personal disclaimer of like, I don't think I'm special at all.

Even having a near death experience.

Like I don't think that that's necessarily like special or somehow I do feel like I'm changed.

But I, I feel like we all, we have all of the these capabilities within us.

And I feel like my sights, like I, I have so many visual things because that's just how I've always been.

I'm a visual learner as a child.

Like I, it just started.

That's just where I start, you know, And I, I too am continuing to have like, kind of like initiations of like some hearing.

Like, you know, sometimes I'll hear a few things.

I don't hear things as much, you know, So yeah, I feel like we all, as humans have these abilities.

I have a passion about that.

I don't know how to tell anyone that because this, that's the hardest thing.

That's the thing that has been the hardest since my near death experience is 1.

Trying to articulate it and two, having anyone believe it it it's not honestly important for me for anybody to believe it.

Like I understand if people cannot believe the stories because it's pretty fantastical, but because I experienced it, I just know it to be true.

But the people that are in my inner circle in my life, I can see that they are getting messaging of their own.

I think we all have our own very specific personal messaging.

And we first have to figure that out for ourselves.

And then once we have that, then it's like the communication lines are are really open.

And that's when it starts to get fun.

And I feel like I can see that in your podcast where, you know, you start with Season 1 and by Season 2 you have some pretty, pretty high concepts that you're playing with there.

So.

I I was just about to say, as you gave me that compliment, that you're in a very different way than I say it.

You're saying a lot of the same things that I say.

And that's super exciting for me because I can tell deep down that you're coming from a different place than I am.

But I think we understand the game pretty much the same way.

It's it's there's a lot more to what it means to be a conscious human being than we could even begin to understand.

And these little glimpses we get of these phenomenon are they're very educational.

That's why I think like when you said like that shadow person meant for you to see it.

I agree.

And when I like listen to you talking about how your cat can see it, that is like, it's hard to draw the through line immediately.

But when you when you get it, you're like, oh, right, because I did see it.

And that's why my cat can see it this time.

Because each time it was real, because it's real.

Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding it.

Just like it's like the one builds onto the other and the doubt created by the 1st event is both put to rest by the second one and then replaced by its other set of questions and doubts.

They play a good game of like hopscotch or frog leap as a kid where you like jump over each other.

You know, they kind of do that with the way that they show these.

Things and, and I don't know, again, if that's a byproduct of the fact that it is us and like our own subconscious is making the connections.

And then so therefore, the next lesson is self-evident because we've already kind of internalized and, and you know, integrated the first lesson.

Or if it's like they're watching and they know that you got it, so they're not going to do another one a level up.

But it is, like you said, the communication lines get wide open and then now you start to see the messaging much more clearly.

And that can be equally isolating because now you've gone from just seeing weird stuff to now having a totally different perspective on the meaning of it all.

That's probably the part that isolates you the most when you start to have this stuff happen.

Yeah.

How do you manage that?

I'm really curious.

You said a second ago, which I think is extremely wise.

You don't care if people believe you.

That's why the first rule of the show is that we're not here to convince anyone of anything, but just to veer off of, like, what you saw for a second year.

How do you do deal with that?

Because I really believe you.

And I'm curious how you make it work, you know, knowing the stuff and at the same time like being part of the normal world.

How do you balance the 2?

Well, I'll be honest, it was really hard coming back from my near desk experience.

It was, it was very hard integrating every, all of the knowing that I just woke up with in a 3 minute period of time.

It was hard in understanding that, you know, my, my sight had changed and I was seeing all kinds of things.

I mean, there were also, strangely enough, very mundane things that I was seeing all the time just sitting in my condo writing or reading or whatever those first six weeks.

I mean, just stuff flying in and out, especially like up higher, kind of like at the ceiling.

I have really high like 20 foot vaulted ceilings and yeah, just random things that look like rods, Like I, I don't even know exactly how to explain those things or what.

They were all different shapes, all different sizes, all different colors from black to brown to Gray to white, just flying in and out just didn't even almost like almost like the house is not even there, right?

Like almost like it's just flying through and somehow I was seeing it right.

Honestly, I don't even still know what those things are.

I I think we're not alone ever.

You ever feel that you're right.

I'll just tell you that I'm pretty sure about that.

But it doesn't necessarily mean it's, you know, like a human, you know, like a whole spirit.

I don't, I don't know, I don't know everything.

But I also, I won't get into this part because, you know, but I, I can tell from what you've said a few things here tonight.

I don't know, I was also sort of waking up to some things in reality, in our reality that I really had never gone down like conspiracy kind of that the conspiracy stuff and not just like thinking it's conspiracy like knowing from my personal near death experience, like, Oh yes, that's true.

That's that's why I had that weird feeling 'cause I feel like I was truly feeling all of feeling all of the frequency that, that everything is, you know, I don't, I don't know, but just, yeah, having it in concrete as some of those conspiracy theories was a little tough and knowing.

Well, one of the, one of the biggest things was money.

Like in the space-time where I was in my near death experience, I mean, money is entirely obsolete.

Somehow I, I knew that and I feel even as a child, I've always been like, I mean, money is only like we just, we believe it has me, you know, value.

So that's why it is in a way, right.

I mean, if we really get down to it, but the truth of the reality is that it matters and it's helpful to have it.

And so still have to go to work every day.

I work in the legal field.

I no longer like practice law because I felt like it wasn't aligning with things that I was shown.

And so I do a couple of pro bono things in the legal field, you know, and still have a job and still have to make money.

But yeah, that's probably been my biggest struggle, to be honest.

It's just, you know, they the day life, but it's necessary.

I have children.

They went to college.

I feel it's important we can talk about education and what all that is, too.

I feel like I'm fully aware of what that is.

But it it it pays to know how to play the game.

So I don't know.

Yeah.

Figuring out exactly what you're supposed to, what I was supposed to do with all of that information was very difficult.

But I feel like I've settled in.

I, I again feel like I had very benevolent guidance.

And sometimes things could be very magical in the Fay way, you know, like beforehand when I was depressed, maybe my credit wasn't so great, but then somehow I can just, you know, get this car that I need.

So I don't know it it, it can be it.

It's been very interesting, very fascinating.

Well, that's the name of the game here on the fascinating Fey show.

So well said.

The definition of fascinating in the Oxford Dictionary is just extremely interesting.

Which, you know, it's kind of like I think the, the, the thing I struggle with most, having seen a fairy and then finding myself now six years down the line, you know, still having these conversations, is that it's the acceptance portion that is truly the most difficult.

1 And I don't know why there seems to be like almost 2 camps of interest in the paranormal.

1 camp I think is a bunch of non experiencers who are like rubbernecking the same way that you look at a car accident.

You know you can't help but look, and then there's the other people who are actually experiencing it.

Who?

Are struggling to integrate what the fuck they know and properly communicate it to to others.

And this guest I had recently made this really interesting point where he's like, it's like the fae are engineering the relationship with humanity from the bottom up and they're choosing all these kind of misfit, you know, non, they're not they're not picking out the like the political leaders, you know, to communicate with.

And I think there's something about like having a, a honest and true path for life that does predispose people to contact with the fae.

I don't think that that predisposes people to the ability to perceive the paranormal, but I think that to what extent the Fey have a judgement or morality or ethics or, or value system, they, they are actually interacting with certain people more than others.

And I agree with you what you said earlier, like about that.

Nothing special.

I should say that now too.

I'm nothing special.

I mean, literally I'm like a middle-aged white guy who saw a fairy one time that started this whole thing off something that could just happen to anybody really, honestly.

But in the in the like rapidly.

Evolving understanding I have.

Of who that they are choosing to maintain relationships with.

I, because I've talked to so many people, maybe I'm in a unique position to make this assessment.

I think that they, they, they like kind of the underdog, for lack of a better word.

And they choose people not necessarily on the same merit and value systems that we do as humans.

They choose for their own reason, largely, I think, informed by their ability to feel that they can trust you.

So overcoming difficult things and maintaining a positive, loving heart despite challenges is extremely important to the Fae by my, you know, third party reverse engineered understanding of what their value system is.

That's what my best guess.

I'm wondering what you think about that.

Do you think that there's a heart component that makes contact with the FA more possible?

Or do you think it's you know something different than what I'm what I'm suggesting?

No, 1000% I believe that they, you know, people will say that, you know, it's all, you know, if they've had any kind of contact with the Fae visually or you know, they could hear things that it always seems very telepathic.

And I think that's because they definitely can read your heart.

And I think.

Your, I also think they know your intention on, on things.

And so I feel like intention is maybe more mental and, you know, your heart is your heart.

And if when, when your mind and your heart are truly in alignment, like they know.

And you know, I, my personal experience with the whole thing kind of went from like, you know, a dark night of the soul shamanic awakening to, I mean, it's really lovely now, you know, but I mean, I've changed myself totally.

And actually, I think that it would be interesting to know if like everybody who has had any kind of experience with the Fae or any kind of paranormal experiences, just what their trauma is now.

It's very personal, right?

That's that, that's the strangeness of it all is that I feel for me, the, the, this whole experience has just been very personal and very personal life lessons for me.

But I feel like like the trauma I went through and my marriage was pretty big and it took a lot to to get through that and get out of that and come out a functioning human.

The hardest part of it all is that I had to do it myself.

And that's where I feel like the religion that I believed with so much outside of yourself that someone is coming to save you, that that was not true for me.

Like that was not it.

That's not how it worked.

I had to save myself and I did and it was not easy.

It was over a decade of work, like even before like it really kind of started like in 2010 when I got divorced, you know, and so you know my near death experiences literally 10 years later.

So it was a lot of work, but that was also part of the six, the the six weeks after my near death experience that there is like an evening that felt like a lifetime in a real way.

It was again, sort of like a whole life review, but I was going through the trauma of some very specific things that happened.

And I was able to, as I did that work within myself when I was able to really forgive the person who caused the trauma in a real way, just realizing like, oh, I don't, I don't fully take that so personally anymore.

Like it literally had to happen for me to be, but I am like right now and it is like it's so good.

Like I could never have gotten to where I was without it.

So this is hard for a lot of people to hear when I, when I tell this part to people, especially other women, like almost thankful that the trauma happened.

At least grateful because it did make me a stronger person and healing myself from it.

Like I think without that, nothing else really would have happened.

I would have just been stuck in my deep, dark abyss of depression forever, indefinitely.

At least it felt like that in the moment, and in certain moments it definitely did.

And once I was able to truly forgive again, having that mind and heart alignment, no one else was even with me during this moment, right?

Like, but I just knew that it was so true and so pure in my heart and my mind and it was so released that everything changed.

Like all of the paranormal stuff stopped being so spooky and scary and then beautiful things for like kind of giving back.

So like new information of like different types of religion and ways to think about God and in these different religions and stuff like that.

One one example specifically, again, this is still during those like six weeks after my near death experience, I read the book The Essene Gospels of Peace and supposedly that's a book in the Bible that was left out of the Bible.

And there's conspiracies about why.

But I had so much to learn that I did not get myself stuck in the mire of why is the Vadnais happening.

I just wanted to figure out what happened to me personally.

And I liked the same Gospels of Peace because it's basically like the book of Genesis, but it brings in back in nature and Mother Earth, Gaia, and just those kinds of aspects of nature and what I think the Fae, you know, really are.

And it was so beautiful.

I was so happy to have it back 'cause I had put the Bible to the side for a moment in time like I had mentioned.

And it was, I mourned it.

I mourned kind of having to put the Bible away like that for myself.

But I knew I had to learn some some new concepts outside of, you know, some of things that some of the beliefs I had had before.

And finding that book was so great.

And they talk about the angels and the angles, however you'd like to look at that, of different elements.

And so like the air is one of them.

And I was really feeling it like that day that I have read some of that book.

And on my way home from work in the middle of Kansas City rush hour traffic, I see this blue orb with, for lack of a better word, what looked like an Angel.

But it looked like like the women's sign on the bathroom.

It was like kind of like 2D.

And it was like, I know, right?

So this is where I resonated with your story.

But it looked just like a head.

I mean, it was just like a head and kind of like a triangle.

And they were not arms or legs.

So it was just that, but it was blue and then the so it's.

Hard to.

Explain it like it literally did just look like a 2D cut out of of that the the little woman sign, but it was in a 3D orb that had blue that was like pulsating blue.

And again, this is occurring as I'm driving through fresh hour traffic at 5:00 right in Kansas City.

And I was like, am I seeing what I'm like I could not, I couldn't grant, I could not register what it was.

It, it was in the sky like outside of the car, right?

Like it looked, it looked like it was like half a mile in front of me, but it wasn't moving.

And I was, as I got closer to it, I was like, what am I seeing?

I couldn't believe it.

Like it was, it was so incredible.

It was so incredible.

And as I got closer, I was like, OK, obviously no one else is seeing this because there would have been tons of wrecks, right?

So OK, I'm, I'm like comprehending that, OK, I'm just seeing this.

But I was like, Oh my gosh, it's like what I was just reading about like the the Angel of Air, like, 'cause that's the chapter I had read that day.

And so was that my subconscious just projecting that out?

I don't know.

But it was beautiful.

It was just so beautiful.

And yeah, so that's one of my stories.

How fascinating that you saw something like 2D, like so remarkably similar to what I saw.

I got really thrown off there.

Sorry for the audience listening if I sounded like I was just about to throw up, but I felt like, oh, like I, you know, when you go over the part of the roller coaster and you start to drop, I felt just like that there for a second when you were talking.

Yeah, well, it's so fascinating to me.

I have never.

I don't tell that story very often to many people.

I can tell my son everything.

My son has had some experiences.

He's very sensitive and very empathic, like I am.

My daughter, not so much.

I love her.

She's great.

She just, she's a totally different person.

And so she doesn't quite believe in all of and everything.

But yeah, like, I can tell my son everything.

But yeah, I don't think I've ever told anyone else that story because it never made sense to me.

I was like, it looked like a cartoon, like it like it looked like a piece of paper cut out of the woman, like a circle and a triangle, but it was in an orb.

It was definitely in a 3D orb and it was blue.

I don't know.

It was just.

And somehow I felt like I knew it was at least a representation of the Angel of air it brought.

I was like totally crying in the car because I was just like, oh, thank you.

Like I didn't have to lose everything.

Like, I feel like I had to.

I had to lose so much.

I was like waking up to conspiracies, Like all this stuff was happening, you know?

And I was like, oh good, there's still some beauty that I get.

OK, let me collect my thoughts as best I can here.

Just going back say to 15 minutes into what we were just talking about when I asked you kind of about.

Well, actually, I'll just, I'll just tell you, I think we really understand each other.

When you said that part about the fae and what's your trauma, I got to tell you, Rachel, you really understand this extremely well.

No, really, you do.

Like, not that there's a contest between which of my guests understand this correctly or not, but I think you understand it really, really well.

And I applaud you for having fumble through it yourself.

That's hard to do.

And yeah, I really feel you so much tonight on a lot of this stuff.

We understand each other.

We really do.

It's like it's it's so like one of the things that I'm guilty of for sure is I always feel like I need to go back and recap it all so that everyone followed it.

But just listen to the episode again.

Everything you're saying, you understand it really well and like just qualify that by saying just the same way that I understand it.

And so it's extremely validating for me to talk to you.

Maybe that's what I really mean to say.

I'm getting a lot out of talking to you in particular tonight, not the least of which is just that roller coaster feeling when you told me this 2D, because what the 2D aspect of what I saw was the one of the hardest things to describe.

It just looks like a piece of paper.

It just looks like so thin and flat and cut out of reality.

And the fact that you saw it encapsulated in an orb is super fascinating because recently Liz Webb, the orb photographer from Australia who I talked to in season 1, I mean, she's like the real deal 1000%.

She takes photos of orbs that are, you know, the too numerous to fake and too mind bogglingly similar to what I've seen with my own eyes.

And she caught this one of one orb oscillating until it turned into plasma.

And I shit you not, it is exactly like when I fucking saw.

I just about jumped out of my chair when I saw that Instagram post.

And I, I immediately commented and I messaged her and I was like, Liz, I just could fucking kiss you.

Like I've been struggling to say what it looked like.

It looks like it's, it looks like reality is deconstructing and it's made of light.

And it's, it's solid in the sense that you can see the the structure, but it's made of light and light is not a solid material.

So it's so crazy that you know what you're describing.

I think we're maybe using different words, but my deep intuition tells me we saw like a remarkably similar thing and they take similar forms.

This is another thing that you, you know, I'm learning doing the show.

You can be in one part of the country, I can be in another.

We can see very, very remarkably similar phenomena.

We don't know each other.

We didn't have prior contact, you know, is that just a pop culture reference that we're both, you know, digging deep out of our brains and having a hallucination one day?

I don't think so.

I think we're seeing a remarkably similar manifestation of a form that the Faye take.

And I absolutely include archetypal spirits such as, like the spirit of Wind as Faye.

I think that, you know, they fully fit into that category of yet to be taxonomically defined energy animals, of which there are many.

But let me do this.

I just noticed we've been talking for close to three hours, and I could talk to you all for much more than that.

But out of respect for your time and the audience's time, I try to keep my episodes around, you know, the two 2 1/2 hour mark.

So if it's OK with you, and please interject here if there's any additional thing you saw in this period of time that you want to mention, you still have the floor.

But if it's OK with you, I can also kind of just move towards some of my gentle wind down questions as we go to kind of wrap up the conversation.

Yes, that would be great.

I do apologize to everybody for.

No, no, no, don't apologize.

Not not.

That's not the point of me pointing out how long we've spoken.

I unapologetically could talk to you for even longer.

I'm, you know, conflicted because I just want to keep talking.

In fact, but I'm trying to remember, I'm printing out a podcast episode and not everyone has five hours.

Today, so OK.

I do have one.

I do have one last story but I can make it short if that would be OK.

I think if you feel called to, to tell it, I definitely want to hear it and that's why I mentioned it before, you know, I moved to to finish.

If there's any last ones you'd like to include so please do, I'd be grateful.

Yeah, I feel like it is important as the wrap up because it was kind of like the biggest, it was like the last biggest thing I saw in that six weeks period of time and it was life changing for me.

And again, you know, so it kind of started like spooky and felt kind of like hauntings at times, just being in like the middle of Kansas City.

I would swear it was a Bigfoot at times, like hitting the side of my condo, you know, just that kind of stuff.

Like it was really spooky.

But then when I was able to have that true heart and mind alignment and forgiveness of the trauma, it just changed immediately.

And I mean, obviously my heart changed and which is what I think it was, you know?

And so I saw the blue Angel in the sky and that evening, I mean that seeing that Angel like that, like I did not know how to process that.

So I was writing it out and I just was like, what am I supposed to do with all this?

Like, is this just for me?

Like, what am I supposed to do?

Like, do I, you know, I just, I was trying to figure that out and I just like again, had a knowing to just start writing, just start writing it all out.

And so I, you know, had to go to work the next day.

So I happened to look at what time it was and synchronistically, of course, it was 11/11.

And I wrote ferociously, as much as I could, you know, my whole story and that and what had been happening to me because I knew I needed to start writing everything down or would be hard to keep track of at a certain point.

And when I stopped, I looked at the I looked at my, you know, phone again.

And it was 111.

And I was like, OK, that's funny.

Like I literally say, OK, that's funny.

Just out loud, you know, to nobody.

Just my in my living room, in my condo.

And out of the corner of my eye, I could see.

And you know, again, awake, fully awake, I could see something white.

1st I saw it and then I and then I registered I was feeling it too.

And whatever it was, it just out of the peripheral vision of my, you know, corner of my eye.

It was tall, it reached the ceiling, but it was like, you know, very white, bright light, almost unexplainably white light.

And I knew that there was a being there and I was like, oh, like, I immediately was like scared.

I was like, 'cause I could also then like, it's all at the same time, like you're, I'm feeling it all right.

And so I was like, it was too much.

It was like something so much higher, like probably even higher than where I was in my near death experience.

Like it?

It's hard to explain it.

It it wasn't exactly fear that I felt.

It was just like almost like I couldn't be in the presence of it, like literally right, because I'm in material form and it just the the two frequencies were just, it was just too much.

And I just said, please don't show yourself.

Like I'd be too scared.

Like, and I just said it like that, like very honestly.

And it was just gone, like it, it didn't force itself, you know, upon me, like just make me see it or anything.

And I just knew that that was something much higher and divine or I don't know.

It's at least then maybe the hierarchy of divinity.

And then after, you know, after the fact and kind of researching things, I think that could have been, you know, like a shining one, like a high angelic being.

But and I say that because it did not force itself on me to see it.

Whereas, you know, some of these other kind of lower those are not the correct words, I don't think.

But for lack of a better word, you know, some of the other things that I was seeing when I was in a lower frequency for sure were were just, you know, just kind of pushed themselves on me.

But I felt like that being whatever it was, just fully respected my free will.

And I asked not to see it.

And so it didn't show itself to me.

The way that you describe, like feeling like you would have a hard time being in its presence really reminds me of this thing.

Danielle Paul talks about when she was visited by something really similar, and she said she kind of describes it like she almost felt like she needed to get down on her knees and like bow down to this thing a little bit.

Yeah, it was something that great, but at the same time I feel like it.

But it was fully respecting me.

And I feel like it was there because I was, I was in my creative space for the first time in 25 years maybe I I used to, you know, as a child, as as a teenager, super creative.

Then life started.

I became a wife and a mother and, you know, life.

And yeah, I was doing something creative with a creative spark, you know, And, you know, some people might call that a muse.

I feel like I'm the muse now.

Like I would say after five years and all the work that I continue to do within myself, I do a lot of meditation.

I do a lot of breath work.

I do a lot of somatic bodywork.

I still, I will always work on myself.

I don't know.

I've come to a realization that I am the muse.

But I don't mean that in a haughty way.

I mean it in like a humble way.

I think that the hardest part about this entire affair is learning to walk in your own skin, and I know that every single person listening to this is wrestling on some level with what their true nature is, which is why the show is interesting to them at all.

I think it's less about what people saw, and I think it really means a lot more the show I'm talking about in relation to who we are than what people are seeing.

For that reason, among many, many others, I've deeply enjoyed this conversation with you here tonight.

Again, this is just only because of, you know, respecting everyone's time.

I'll be sure that, you know, you and I talk again.

And over time, we may even bring you back for a second episode to talk about some of this stuff in more detail, if not some more new things that I have the sense you're going to encounter along the way here.

But for tonight, I'll ask you my favorite question that I ask everybody who comes on the show.

A moment ago when we were talking, you kind of hinted about what you think the fae really are.

So here's your chance to get into that.

No right answer, no wrong answer.

But Rachel, what do you think fairies are?

So I think fairies are fractional aspects of God expressing itself through nature, and they meet us at our personal frequency.

And I also, I also feel like we are aspects of God as well.

Humans are.

So I do believe that you're right that yeah, it's it's all us.

Well, gosh, what can I possibly say to that other than just.

I love that answer.

Really well articulated.

I can't disagree with any of that.

In fact, like I said a moment ago, I do really think you understand this well, and with the caveat that we both could be wrong, but you know, yeah, the Super big caveat that we both could be wrong.

But, you know, I think sometimes that that caveat grows less and less necessary the farther we all go together.

On this journey at Fascinating Faye, what I'm going to do now is I'll just do like 60 seconds of podcaster housekeeping.

I always give my guests the last word.

So if you want to just ponder what you might want to say to everybody as a final thought tonight I will do my housekeeping if that's cool with you sounds.

Great.

OK, well, you've been listening to Fascinating Faye.

I'm your host.

Jim, if you've had an encounter and you'd like to be on the show, you're always welcome to send me an e-mail.

The address is encounters@fascinatingfaye.com.

Adm on any social media is also a great way to get a hold of me if you'd like because you know of the time constraint.

I can't ask any more questions, but I certainly want to.

And you know for that reason, I don't have any more value that I can add tonight.

So I will say this that on behalf of all of our.

Human and non human listeners.

Tuning into fascinating Faye tonight.

A super big thanks to Rachel for coming on the show.

Rachel, thank you for being here.

I sincerely appreciate this conversation more than you know, and I would love it if you would share some last words for the audience listening.

Well, thank you for allowing me a platform to share my experience with.

This is the first time I've done it and an articulated way and I would just say to everybody, don't underestimate the divine.

The ocean is still, the daylights faded.

The evening tide draws my ship to shore.

My mind is lost in fog with no footprints to follow, but I'm wide awake and longing to explore.

Although I'm young, my days are numbered.

Springing life will soon pass to fall.

Time is relative.

All skulls become hollow when my lights go out.

My memories stand tall when I die.

When the day comes that I'm gone, will I be a free man or a slave?

When white light comes, are the gates where they let me in?

Can I enter in my chain, forgotten like the rest, or remember with the best?

I want a mark upon my grave.

Daylight dogs.

The world is waking and we are breaking.

Time is tumbling on again, haunted by our own biology commanded by technology.

We're gliding to the end, and the power lies in possession of a few.

And the rest of us?

We don't have a clue.

We were born without a name, but soon enough it came.

We are the race of man.

We hold this world in our hand, but we've lost the grip.

We've taken the wrong train.

Instinct leads us to expand and leave our scars in every light.

There's no return that no one to explain.

We came.

It soon became clear we were new.

The power we held and it grew.

Scrolled out of control but through time and through space.

We will bombard.

But we have drawn a bad card and dug ourselves a hole.

We were born without a name, but soon enough it came.

We are the race of man.

We hope this world in our hand.

But we've lost the grip.

We've taken the wrong train, and on and on until we're gone.

The darkness lurks within the dawn.

From queen to pawn.

We're standing here in vain.